#i do shit like this and really think i'm funny huh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fangirl-dot-com · 4 months

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Incorrect Quotes

all of these were from Pinterest - cause I'm not this funny (I also couldn't wait for the next chapter to come out so here :D)

Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated <3

TAG LIST IS OPEN! - 26 spots still open! (please send me a direct message to be added!)

Y/n: I’m cool Oscar Y/n: I’m THEE coolest Y/n: In fact, I was once arrested for being too cool *puts on sunglasses* Oscar: The charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence. Also, your glasses are upside down.

Y/n: I have a very specific type Max: Oh yeah? Like what? Y/n: Y’know…polite, handsome, athletic…that sort of thing Arthur (on his fourth energy drink of the day) tripping over camera wires and holding his mic upside down: you little shit eating, damned pathetic piece of shit – now you listen here Y/n: *heart eyes* that one. I want that one. Max: *flabbergasted*

Lando: bet you’re standing in the corner because you’re scared that you’ll get turned down if you talk to anyone Y/n: please, I could fluster near everyone at this party if I chose to Oscar: oh yeah? Prove it. Go for someone borderline impossible and I’ll believe you Y/n, approaching Arthur: hey dumbass, hoodie looks kind of cute on you, wanna get out of here? Arthur: WH- I MEAN- UHHHH YEAH SURE Y/n: perfect Oscar and Lando:

Y/n: I brought a red bull Max: I don’t want a red bull Y/n: I didn’t bring this for you. This is my red bull. Max: then why are you telling me? Y/n: It’s a conversation starter. Max: That’s a lousy conversation starter Y/n: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate *sips red bull*

Y/n: *gently taps table* Logan: *taps back* Alex: what are they doing? George: morse code Y/n: *aggressively taps table* Logan: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Lewis: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated Y/n: Killed without hesitation Lewis: nO!

Y/n: Is stabbing someone immoral? Mitch: Not if they consent to it. Max: Depends on who you’re stabbing. Christian: YES?!

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Y/n: Shit Logan: Wait, three? Cop: yeah? Lando: OH MY GOSH OSCAR FELL OFF!!

Max: Time for plan G. Liam: Don’t you mean plan B? Daniel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Y/n: What about plan D? Daniel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Max: What about plan E? Liam: I’m hoping not to use it. I die in plan E Yuki: I like plan E.

Christian: Did none of you think this was a bad idea? *Y/n, Max, Charles, and Arthur covered in navy and red paint* Y/n: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway.

George: (in sunglasses and newest Tommy Hilfiger jumpsuit) *in the most posh accent* I’m too good for revenge Logan: (covered in bug spray, cowboy hat and overalls on, pumped full of Bang energy drink and high on freedom) *cocks shotgun* Well, I’m not. Give me the name.

Arthur: So what’s your type? Y/n: Kinda long blond hair, green eyes, dumb, dimples, funny, really thin waist Arthur: Huh, that kind of sounds like me! Too bad its not me! Y/n: did I mention dumb? Arthur: yeah, why? Y/n: just making sure

*Over Text*

Y/n: Hey pretty boy, what’re you up to? :) Arthur: Eating cereal in bed Y/n: And what would you be doing if I was in bed with you? Arthur:…I would still be eating my cereal?

Waitress: And what would you like to eat? Y/n: I wish to devour the unborn Fernando: Eggs, she would like eggs

Y/n: Do you think that when sheep go to sleep they count themselves? Lando: Or do they count humans? Y/n: Ooo, that’s a good question Oscar: GO TO SLEEP

Y/n to Max: because I am a mature adult *turns to see Mitch, Christian, and Vito shake their heads* *turns back to Max* Y/n: I am an adult

*Dinner with Max, Y/n, Charles, and Arthur*

Y/n: The food is too cute, I can’t eat it! Max: Charles: Arthur: You’re cute, but I’d still eat y- Max: ONE DINNER Charles: *sighs* here we go again Max: ONE NORMAL DINNER IS ALL I ASK Y/n: Charles, this pasta is also crunchy, I truly can’t eat this

Ollie: Good night everyone Arthur: Good night Lando: Good night Oscar: Good night Y/n: good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Tonight, imma fight until we see the sunlight. Tik tok on the clock, but the party don’t stop Oscar: I’M DONE

George (t-posing in the doorway): Greetings, parental figures and sister figure *Y/n, Lewis, and Toto walking past* Toto (not looking up from his coffee): Good morning, problem child

Christian: You see, Fernando, Y/n is at the age where she only has one thing on her mind Fernando (noticeably excited): Oh! Oh! Oh! Boys? Max (looking over at the dead tired rookie with revenge in her eyes as she looks at Esteban): No. Murder.

Y/n: Hey Liam, want some of this food? Liam: Sure, thanks! Yuki (storming in with the anger of the gods): WHO TF ATE MY LEFTOVERS THAT CLEARLY HAD MY NAME ON IT Y/n: WE did Liam: You surprisingly smart little mf

Y/n: Never have I ever…Been grounded by my parents! Arthur (exasperated): Every time. She makes disownment jokes every time and she always wins Max: Good one Kid. I always go for the ‘never had a dad who supported me.’ Charles: *stands up and walks away*

Y/n: I’ve only said I love you to four people. Christian, Vito, Arthur, and Max when I thought he died after he wouldn’t respond after a DNF. I only regret one of those Lando: Which one? Y/n: Max. He was just pressing the wrong button and walked out a few minutes later. He made me look like an idiot. Max: I let you win next race Y/n: still

(Y/n, Logan, Lando, and George trying to sneak into RB for more energy drinks after being banned from drinking more)

Logan: So what do you think Y/n will do as a distraction? Lando: She’ll probably, like, make a noise George: Or throw a rock. That’s what I would do *The door flings open and smoke follows. Screams of mechanics fill the air as they try to extinguish a small fire* Logan:…Or she could do that.

Y/n: When I die, donate my entire body to science Y/n: Except my middle finger, give that to Esteban

(max and y/n in a horror movie)

Max: QUICK YOU’RE LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? Y/n (bleeding out): tall, male, brown hair, dimples, caring, supportive, Monegasque Max: BLOOD TYPE DUMBASS Y/n: oh Y/n: (looks down at wound) Y/n: red

Lando: I wish we could block people in real life. Oscar: Restraining order Y/n: Murder

Christian: Y/n, we need to talk about your professionalism for media days Y/n (and a lot of media personelle she rounded up, all standing on chairs): those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava

Y/n (to Max while hiding behind some tires – regretting everything): and then I called him dad Christian (to Geri – trying not to cry while cameras are everywhere): and then she called me dad

Max: Christian, look what Y/n got me for father’s day *holds up generic #1 dad mug* Christian (glaring silently while sipping from his own #1 dad mug) Max: that lying rookie Vito (holding a worn down #1 dad mug): you guys are late to the party suckers

Criminals: We have your daughter and son Toto: I don’t have a daughter and Jack is right here Criminals: then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwiches? Christian: dear God, you have Y/n and George

Mitch: So Christian, you and Geri want to be a parents again someday? Christian: Someday? We’re parents right now. Mitch: Y/n is your employee Geri: She is our BLOOD

Christian: Max is late again Kelly: I woke him up at 8 and pretended it was 11 Y/n: I wrote a fake schedule saying we were starting at 9 instead of 12 Lando: I changed his clock from AM to PM Christian: I think you may have overdone it Max (bursting into the garage): WHAT YEAR IS IT?

Y/n: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an energy smoothie...would it kill me? Logan: *shrugs* only if you die Y/n (getting out the blender): you're so smart Logan Max (running into the room): y/N STOP!

Lance: I got Netflix like you asked! Y/n: OH that's amazing! I've been mooching off Max's and Arthur's accounts for a while. This will be nice! Lance: Wait, what do you mean accounts? Y/n: Their Netflix accounts? Lance: Y/n: Like their profiles? I wanted one of my own, they're like $12 Lance: Lance:....Oh....You meant the account on the service... Y/n: Yeah, what did you think I meant? Wait...What did you buy? Lance: Lance:....Netflix...

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12

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bluewxrld07 · 3 months

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Stuck (Luke Hughes)

Warning(s): none

Luke Hughes x female!reader

Summary: In which you do the famous Tik Tok trend, telling your boyfriend your tampon is stuck

It was a nicer evening in Jersey, the weather finally being decent after being knocked over by the crazy below zero insanity. Y/n was finishing up her skincare waiting for Luke and Jack to get back to the apartment from an evening practice, a plan in motion to prank Luke.

It had become a thing between the couple to prank one another after a night post a game, when Luke decided to bring home squid thrown on the ice by a fan.

Leaving it in the fridge for y/n to only yell out a scream at the rotting sea creature the next morning, trying to get her coffee before her workout.

She had been doing her digging for this next prank, knowing it was time for her to hit him with one. This one was more so a test too. A loyalty test if you will. Thanks to Tik Tok of course.

One afternoon, y/n was scrolling through her for you page, only to stumble upon a prank a girlfriend did to her boyfriend. A tampon prank. She immediately grinned ear to ear, knowing that this little test would get Luke to cave.

It had to at least. Especially sine she was actually on her time of the month. It would be more believable.

So after finishing her skincare, hearing the front door open, she set her phone up in a way where it wouldn't look suspicious or seen easily by the curly-headed boy.

"May the pranks be ever in your favor, Hughesy," she chuckles quietly to the phone, hearing her name being called out.

"Babe?" he calls out, his footsteps being heard down the hallway.

She could hear the brothers saying goodnight to one another, his bedroom door opening. "Baby, you good?" she hears on the other side of the door, the girl trying to hide her amused smile before answering.

"I uh," she says slowly. "Luke?" she says, biting her lip to hide her laugh.

"What's going on?" he asks, the girl opening the door. He scans her figure, a confused frown on his face. Y/n crosses her arms, looking up at him.

"I need you to take me seriously when I tell you this, okay?" she said, watching an eyebrow of his raise.

"Why?" he trails off slowly, then his eyes widen. "Are you pregnant, y/n?"

She rolls her eyes and palms her forehead. "No, babe, I'm on my period remember?"

"Oh shit right. Then why are you acting funny?"

"You swear you won't laugh at me?"

"Promise you I won't."

Y/n sighs, hiding her face in her hands for a second as they stood there. "I was trying to change my, you know, out," she starts off, her eyes looking up at to his.

"And I can't find the string." she says, watching his face turn contort into a frown. "What string?"

"Luke my tampon is stuck."

His eyes widen, eyebrows raise, mouth dropping slightly. "What do you mean it's stuck? Where's the little string attached to it?" he whispers in shock, running his hand over his mouth.

Y/n looks at him with a look. "Luke I just said I can't find it. It's really stuck, like I can't get it out." she says, watching his face contort to different emotions.

"So what're you going do? How're you gonna get it out?" he asks, gesturing to her lower abdomen, one hand on his hip.

She gives him a sheepish smile, watching the confusion turn to horror. "Luke," she trails off. "I need you to try and help get it out."

Luke freezes, his eyes looking back into hers, then darting down to her abdomen, then back to her eyes slowly. "Get the thing out? The thing inside you?" he asks, and she nods with a hum.

"Lu, it's really stuck. I really cannot get it out." she says in a horrified voice. He hums, staying frozen in his position.

"Do you think you can get it out?" she asks.

"Uh huh," he says softly with a nod, his horrified eyes looking into hers.

"Really? You'd help me even if it's all bloody?" she says, watching him put a hand over his mouth and nod once again. "Yeah, yup, sure would." he stutters out.

Luke runs a hand over his face, walking away from the doorway for a second, only to come back without his sweatshirt on, only clad in his t-shirt that was underneath.

"Alright baby, let's get this going," he says while shaking his arms out as if he was about to go lift something heavy. He turns on his flashlight from his phone, making his way towards her.

She immediately puts a hand on his chest, bursting into a fit of giggles. He looks at her with a frown, raising his hands up in the air. "What? I'm gonna help you get this thing out, aren't I?"

"Babe, it was a prank." she laughs, pointing to her phone. He immediately looks over at the camera, rolls his eyes, mumbles an oh thank fuck, walking out of the bathroom.

Y/n rolls her eyes at his dramatic response. "Oh stop, you loved me enough to be willing to help get it out."

He turns around to look at her and point. "Not loved. Love. watch your grammar." he retorts, walking up to her once again.

"Okay mister tough guy. But glad to know you love me enough to help me. Even if it's all messy." she chuckles, pressing a couple chaste kisses to his lips.

"Now hurry to bed, I need a good sleep tonight. I almost would've had nightmares for days." Luke jokes.

Y/n scoffs playfully. "I need to go to the bathroom actually, and then I'll be out so calm down." she says, shutting the door softly.

Luke settles into him and y/n's bed, sighing at the comfort. Smiling at his girlfriend's antics, then shaking his head. His eyes found the nightstand next to his bed, a certain velvet box hiding in the corner of the drawer.

"Lu, we actually have a real problem on our hands," Y/n calls out a few moments later. The boy closing his eyes. "And what is that?" he asks.

"It's stuck. Like for real this time."

#luke hughes #luke hughes x reader #y/n #hockey boys #Luke hughes fluff #Luke hughes imagine

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 1 month

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Vaggie: "Okay ha ha, very funny. Who stole me and Charlie's laundry out of the dryer again- Angel Dust!"

Angel Dust: "Wasn' me."

Vaggie: "Are you wearing my fucking skirt!?"

Angel Dust: "Ooooh~ it's a FUCKIN' skirt, huh? This one kept special for when Charlie jumps ya?"

Vaggie: "Que te la pique un pollo- NO."

Angel Dust: "Aw c'mon toots, we all know you have one~"

Vaggie: "Give me back. My skirt. You. Ass."

Angel Dust: "Speakin' of... is it really still YOUR skirt, Vagina, if MY ass is the one lookin' so utterly fine and fabulous in it?"

Vaggie: "YOU DONT HAVE AN ASS, ANGEL DUST."

Angel Dust: "Yeah? Then what's this beautiful thang here, hmm?"

Vaggie: "I don't know because there's nothing there for you to even POINT at, twig twink!"

Husk: "HA!"

Angel Dust: "Ugh fiiine. Since you're being nice an' usin' my preferred pronouns-"

Vaggie: "Twig???"

Husk: "Twink."

Angel Dust: "-I'll hand over the girlfriend-fucking skirt. The delicius heat from the dryer's mostly gone now anyway. Jus' lemme grab something to throw on over it first..."

Vaggie: "Seriously? THAT'S why you took it?? Dryer heat?"

Angel Dust: "Next best thing to hot bath at the end of a day's hard work, baby! A day's VERY hard, throbbing, aching work-"

Vaggie: "I will throw this spear at you. I WILL ruin your stupid hair."

Husk: "Fucking do it."

Vaggie: "YOU shut up too. You're the one who taught him this in the first place, aren't you?"

Husk: "WHAT? I don't put on your fucking skirts!"

Angel Dust: "Wha' about her non-fucking ones?"

Husk & Vaggie: "Shut up."

Angel Dust: "Touché~ Protestin' too much, me thinks~”

Vaggie: "Husk- we all know you're the one waiting for the dryer to finish so you can drag the laundry onto the floor and sleep on it!"

Husk: "That's bullshit- you've got no proof-"

Angel Dust: "Cat hair, Mr. Whiskers."

Husk: "The fucking hotel has a cat!"

Vaggie: "That smells like a bar and also sheds feathers?"

Husk: "FUCK."

Angel Dust: "Don't break yourself up over it, kitten daddy- If you hadn't shown me the joys of laundry shopping, I'd never have known how GOOD I look in this jacket."

Vaggie: "???? You- IS THAT CHARLIE'S!?!?"

Angel Dust: "Goes good with the skirt, huh? If you two had a kid, they'd fucking SLAY."

Vaggie: "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING HER JACKET"

Angel Dust: "Look- she's the only one in this fancy prancy hotel that's got the same measurements as me, at least in the shoulder, hips, and torso department! The only one who's clothes don't smell like dead deer and dusty old radios, anyway!! I'm kinda low on options here, okay?"

Vaggie: "WHAT ABOUT THE OPTION OF DON'T StEAL OUR STUFF?? THAT'S LIKE, THE EASIEST FUCKING OPTION YOU COULD HAVE!"

Angel Dust: "Orrrrr, you two could adopt me as you gay lovechild and give me some fuckin' hand me downs. Or money."

Vaggie: “OUR WHAT!?”

Angel Dust: “Fuck it, give me money an’ I’ll buy my own clothes, mom.”

Vaggie: “I. Am. NOT-”

Charlie: “-hey guys! Has anyone seen my….”

Charlie: “…uh, Vaggie? Why is Angel Dust dressed like our gay lovechild?”

Angel Dust: “HA!”

Charlie: “And did he just call you ‘mom??’”

Vaggie: “I give up. Anyone needs me, I’ll be in the laundry room, shoving myself in the dryer on the hellfire setting.”

Husk: “You’ll have to fucking drag Niffty out first.”

Vaggie: “What.”

Charlie: “What?”

Angel Dust: “WHAT”

Husk: “She was crawling in head first when I left after waking up- uhh- after getting something.”

Angel Dust: (shrieking) “AN’ YOU LEFT HER THERE???”

Vaggie: “Oh shit-”

Charlie: “Vaggie- go! Fly!! Go go go now Now NOW- EMPLOYEE IN THE INDUSTRIAL CLEANING EQUIPMENT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!”

- meanwhile, in the laundry room-

THUMP THUMP THUMP

THUMP…. Thump………… thump

Alastor: “…”

Alastor: (reaches over to knock on dryer door)

Alastor: “Having fun, dear?”

Niffty: (flopping limply half out of dryer) (battered) (scorched) (GRINNING) “Ow pain!”

Alastor: “Quite.”

Niffty: “Heheheh… heHEHEHEH.”

Niffty: (sets the dryer to max again) “More…. PAIN!!!” (shuts door from the inside) (grins from other side with her face pressed against the glass)

Alastor: “Fascinating.”

Thump…Thump. Thump. THUMP THUMPTHUMP-

Cherri Bomb: “…”

Cherri Bomb: “…Know what? You kids have fun. I’m just gonna go, like, break into someone’s house and murder them so I can use their washer and dryer. That’ll be less fucked up than….. whatever this is.” (hefts basket of bloody laundry and bombs) (waves over her shoulder while leaving) “Bye~”

#hazbin hotel #vaggie #angel dust hasbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #chaggie #charlie morningstar #alastor the radio demon #niffty hazbin hotel #cherri bomb hazbin hotel #incorrect quotes #silly nonsense #that feeling when your coworker leaves their own bloodstains on the inside of the dryer machine #so you need to wash it before anyone can do laundry again #(and before cherri bomb can try quick-drying stuff with explosives in the mean time)#(......again)

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feelbokkie · 9 months

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BF!SKZ Jokes About Your Insecurity Accidentally

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

**Requested**

Hello! I just got idea before i forget i will send it😅

Like you are joking around and this members is kind of said things that hurts you and you kind of give them silent treatment

Like in a angst but fluff way but kind of funny feelings?😅😅

genre: fluff, slight angst

pov: 2nd person

description: Bf!skz accidentally touches on one of your insecurities without even realizing it.

pairing: bf!skz x reader

warnings: (Specific scenarios listed under each member so check those), swearing

word count: (listed below for each member) (unedited)

방 찬 (Bang Chan) (340 words)

You're a bit weird

"You're so weird." Chan chuckles.

Your smile drops as you stare at your boyfriend. You had gone shopping earlier with one of your friends and bought one of those inflatable alien abducting a human costumes. You put it on immediate when you got home to show Chan, even pretended you were getting abducted.

You quietly leave the room and slowly start deflating the costume. Growing up, your classmates would pick on you for being “weird.” You hate anything that would make you seem weird and often held yourself back from Chan so he wouldn't regret dating you. You didn't think the costume was weird at first, you thought it was funny and that he would get a kick out of it, not call you weird.

"Hey, why are you putting it away already? Bored?" Chan followed you out of the room when he saw your face and your head drop.

You continue to take the costume off, your back turned to him so he can't see that you're on the verge of tears.

"Y/n?" He steps closer and softly places a hand on your shoulder.

"You're right, it's weird. I'm weird, I'll return it." You sniffle as you pull your leg out of the costume.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you're weird in a cute way. Why are you upset? Talk to me,"

"You calling me weird just brought up some shit. But you're right." You start rolling up the costume, attempting to get all of the air out.

"Hey, if you're weird I'm a fucking alien. Have you seen the thing I do with my arms? Class A weirdo behavior right there." He turns you towards him so he can look you in the eyes. His heart sinks to the pit of his stomach when he sees you've been crying.

"But--"

"You are not weird and I don't like you any less for your quirkiness. Now put the costume back on an let's go to the dorm. The kids are going to love it."

이 민 호 (Lee Min-Ho) (617 words)

You talk a lot when you're excited

"...and so the milkman kissed Goofy, thinking that he was his wife meaning that Goofy's wife was cheating on him while he was at work and since we have no explanation as to what really happened to the wife or any other member of Goofy's family, I think he offed the wife, took Max, dyed his hair, and ran and it totally makes sense because in the Goofy movie--"

"Breathe, Y/n." Minho places a hand on your knee.

You, for some reason, found yourself going down the rabbit hole of what happened to Goofy's wife. Immersing yourself in the lore of it all, you needed to tell someone. Unfortunately for him, your boyfriend Minho was home. He sat with you while you calmly told him the background information and went on to explain all of the theories with all of the concrete evidence you found. You had been talking non-stop for at least 15 minutes before Minho said anything.

"I was rambling again, huh?" You say sheepishly, rubbing the back of your head

"You just talk a lot."

"Oh," Your heart drops down to the pit of your stomach.

You know that you have a tendency to talk a lot, so many people have let you know over the years. You know that it could be a problem for some people. But it’s never been a problem for Minho, or at least he never let on that it’s been a problem. Normally people tell you that you talk a lot to signal that you’re being annoying. He just called you annoying.

“You can continue, what happened with the Goofy movie?” He asks, rubbing his hand on your knee.

“Lost my train of thought.” You mumble, looking at your hands and fiddling your thumbs.

“Hmm. Okay, well come find me when you find it again.” You hum in response.

***

You and Minho sit at the dinner table quietly eating. By now, Minho realized something was up with you. You had spent the rest of the day not talking to him and if you did you would either give short answers or make a noise. But now you were completely silent while eating. He knows you hate eating in silence and often filled the void with small talk or some sort of animated story.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, setting down his fork and leaning in.

“Nothing,” you refused to look up. It’s killing you to eat in silence but you don’t want to annoy him further.

“Y/n, I know something is wrong. You haven't said anything since this morning." He reaches for your hand and you pull away. A hurt look flashes across his face.

"I don't want to be annoying." You mumble. Minho blinks at you in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

You go back to solely focusing on your food, leaving the room to fall in silence. Minho stares at you, wracking his brain to figure out what's wrong with you since he's clearly done something to upset you.

"Is this because I said you were talking too much this morning?" He asks, finally figuring something out.

"You said, and I quote, 'You just talk a lot.' Meaning I talk too much and you find me annoying."

"I didn't mean it like that. Y/n, I misspoke. I love when you talk. I love listening to your theories and stories. Honest. I could never find you annoying. Sure, you get on my nerves sometimes, but never annoying." Minho gets up from his seat and crouches down next to you.

"Are you sure because--"

"I'm 1,000% sure. Now come on, let's finish eating and you can tell me all about the mystery of Goofy's wife."

서 창 빈 (Seo Chang-Bin) (817 words)

You have a chubby stomach

You were listening to music on your phone when Changbin stumbled into your bed room. It was well past 1 in the morning and you know that he had been busy promoting a new comeback. He had the day off tomorrow but you always tell him to just sleep at the dorm when He works late so he can go to bed sooner. He never listens. You watch as he drops his bag in it's designated corner and crawls in between you legs. He lays his head on your stomach and wraps his arms around your waist.

"Baby, why don't you go take a hot shower? Your muscles must be sore." You run your hand through this soft hair.

"I'm fine. Just wanna sleep right here." He mumbles into your stomach.

"At the very least change into something more comfortable to sleep in." You tug at his shirt.

"But I'm so comfortable. You're so soft and squishy. Like...like the pillsbury doughboy." Your hair freezes in his hair.

That comment should make you laugh. In fact, you're almost certain he said it to just that. Or he's so tired that he's speaking unfiltered. But the fact that he said that while he was laying on your stomach made you feel sick.

"Bin, get up," You tap his back to wake him up.

"No," He groans.

"Changbin, I need to use the bathroom." You lie, hoping to get him move off of you.

He groans again before rolling off of you and into his normal spot on the bed, fast asleep. You quietly make your way to the living room where you plan to spend the night sleeping on the couch.

***

When you wake up, a thick blanket is covering you and Changbin is fast asleep on the floor next to you. You carefully crawl over him, as to not wake him up, and head to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee. You sit in silence, replaying what Changbin said last night repeatedly in your mind.

"Why did you sleep on the couch last night?" Changbin walks into the kitchen rubbing his eyes.

He must have sensed that you weren't near him. You knew you didn't wake him up when you walked past him earlier and you weren't being loud right now either. He almost always wakes up when you're suddenly not near him anymore. It was kind of cute.

You continue to make your coffee, refusing to acknowledge him. You feel bad for blaming him. You're almost certain that he didn't mean to say what he did when he called you soft and squishy. But if he said that when his brain was too tired to filter the words, then he's been thinking it for a while.

"Hello? Y/n, are you listening to me? Am I invisible?" He asks, walking up next to you.

You finish making your coffee and leave the kitchen. Changbin stands in confusion for a second. You pull out your phone and head to the couch.

"Hey! Why are you ignoring me?" Changbin yells, quickly getting more frustrated.

"I don't know, why don't you go and ask the pillsbury doughboy." You spit, not looking up from your phone.

"W-what? What are you talking about? Are you drunk?" He questions.

You sit in silence, going back to ignoring him. Changbin stands in the kitchen thinking about what could have possibly happened.

"Pills...pillsbury...doughboy...doughboy...dough...ah...aH AH! Wait," You hear him scramble out the kitchen and slide in front of you.

Your eyes meet his panicked ones. He realized what he said the night before, finally. He knows that you struggle with your weight and the last thing he ever wanted to do was to make up feel uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I promise. I was just really tired and that was my attempt at being funny." He says quickly.

"You called me soft and squishy," You grumble.

"I like soft and squishy! I'm soft and squishy. Look, poke me in the stomach," He quickly lifts up his shirt, exposing his stomach. He's purposely pushing his stomach out.

"Changbin--"

"Poke it, Y/n." He urges. You sigh and humor him by poking him right above his belly button. He immediately lets out the most high pitched giggle you've ever heard from him.

You can't help but laugh, doubling over in laughter. Which causes Changbin to laugh and then you to laugh even harder. You manage to put your coffee cup on the floor to avoid spilling it on the couch while you laugh.

"S-see. I'm a pillsbury doughboy. We can be soft and squishy together."

"Okay, B-bin." You wipe tears from your eyes and smile at Changbin.

"And if I ever hurt your feelings in the future, just tell me. How am I supposed to fix it if I don't know what's wrong?"

황 현 진 (Hwang Hyun-Jin) (366 words)

You're physically clingy

Hyunjin stares in shock when you moved away from him the second he tried to cuddle with you.

"What is this? Do you not love me anymore?" He cries.

"I'm just giving you space like you wanted," You whisper as you tighten the the blanket around yourself and squeeze the stuffed animal you are holding closer to your chest.

"When you did I ask you to give me space?" His eyes focus on you but he couldn't see your face. It's hidden behind the blanket and you're staring forward at the tv.

Earlier in the day you were feeling needier than usual and wanted nothing more than to cuddle with Hyunjin. You know he doesn’t like skinship unless he initiates it, but he let’s you get a pass on that rule. But, for whatever reason, Hyunjin snapped when you were trying to cuddle into him and asked you for some space and called you clingy. You went into the living room, grabbing a stuffed animal and blanket with you.

You had boyfriends in the past that broke up with you because you were too clingy. Its made you be overly cautious at the start of your relationship with Hyunjin but over time you grew more comfortable around him. Hearing him call you clingy earlier set you off worrying that he was going to leave you.

“Oh, this morning?” He asks softly when he sees a tear fall down your face. He gently wipes the tear with the pad of his thumb and stares at you with soft eyes.

“Yeah, when you called me clingy.” You whisper.

“I’m sorry for that. I didn’t mean—Ah, don’t cry more.” Hyunjin wraps you in a hug and strokes your back.

“S-sorry. I just don’t want you to leave me.” You sob.

“I’m not leaving you, I promise. I was just annoyed and needed a little bit of space. But I’m sorry I made you think that you were being annoying.”

“It’s o-okay. Just brought up some stuff.”

“To make up for it, we’re going to stay like this until you think I’m being clingy.”

“You’re going to be there forever then, Hyun.”

“If it’s you, I’m fine with that.”

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung) (420 words)

You can't sing

"Ah, my ears! I think they're bleeding." Jisung laughs.

You two were home all day and you suddenly started doing karaoke on your phone. You know you can’t sing, it’s a fact you’ve known about yourself your whole life. It’s the fact that your boyfriend, who has so much talent that you’re not even sure how there’s any left for the rest of the world, is the one who pointed it out.

Losing confidence, you finish the song quietly. Jisung thought that you were just tired from singing the ballad and quit halfway through.

"Let's do a duet," He says excitedly, taking your phone out of your hands to look for the next song.

"My throat hurts. I'm going to get some water. Why don't you do a solo?" You softly smile before getting up and heading to the kitchen.

***

"Why won't you sing with me?" Jisung whines from the floor. He had done about 5 more songs and after each one he asked you to sing with him.

"My throat still hurts, Ji." You lie.

Jisung stares at the ceiling for a few minutes before picking up your phone and choosing a new song. He quickly stands up and hands you one of the fake mics.

You watch in awe as Jisung purposely butchers the song and waits for you to join in. You can't help but laugh.

'What are you doing you can sing better than that" You giggle.

"I know I can but I need to match my Jagi's amazing abilities." He says, pushing the fake mic toward you again. You sigh and take the mic from him and humor him.

"See, you can still have fun even when you don't sound the best." Jisung adds.

"I never said it wasn’t fun.” You groan.

"Yeah, but I know it hurt your feelings when I pretended to hate your singing. I’m sorry by the way. I’m used to making those joke with the boys.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s the truth.”

“It’s not the truth. You’re my favorite singer. Now please sing a duet with me and make my dreams come true.” Jisung pouts.

“You are so lying through your teeth right now, but I’ll humor you.” You roll your eyes and get off the couch. Jisung walks closer to you so you two can pick a song together.

“I really am sorry. You know I would never purposely hurt your feelings.”

“I know, Ji. And that’s one of the reasons why I love you. Now pick a song.”

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok) (434 words)

You're a bit dumb

"Shit!" Felix slams down the controller and places his head in his hand.

"Sorry, I was trying to get--" You try to explain as you watch his character die on screen. You were playing as healer and accidently put him in a position to die rather than heal him. That was his last life for this round, he'd have no choice but to spectate for the rest of the game.

"That was the dumbest shit you've ever done." He groans.

"Lix, I was trying--" You take your eyes off the screen and look at your boyfriend who was running his hands through his hair.

"Look out-- you've got to be joking. Are you stupid, why would you look away? Now the rest of the team is going to have to play without a healer for the rest of the round." You watch as Felix rest his head in his hands.

You get up and storm into the bedroom, no longer wanting to play games with him. You know he can get mad during games. It was cute and often you would just watch or sit with him while he played so you could watch him struggle. What you couldn't deal with, was him calling you stupid.

You know you're not dumb, but you also know that you're never the smartest person in the room and you're okay with that. You do dumb things and you're okay with that. But you've heard enough people insult you for your little slip ups and berate you by calling you dumb.

You hear the door creak as Felix pokes his head in. You roll your eyes and bury your face into the bed. You feel the bed dip down around you and Felix lay his entire body on top of yours. He fidgets a bit while he tries to worm his arms under you and hug you. He presses a kiss to the back of your neck before turning his head so he could lay down comfortable.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you stupid. I just got carried away while gaming.” He mumbles into your back.

“I know, but it still hurts.” You pout. You turn your head so you can get some air.

“I know. I promise to not do it again. How can I make it up to you? Kisses?” He asks, slight wiggling his fingers into your side.

“I think yes." You giggle, unable to resist his tickling.

"Really? How many?" He laughs.

"Hmm... five hundred?"

"Five hundred! Well, I guess I better get started now." Felix starts peppering your face with kisses.

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min) (822 words)

You're a bit immature

"Oh wow, Y/n, that was so mature." Seungmin says dryly walking into the room.

You giggle as you finish making breakfast for yourself. Last night you had the idea to mess with Seungmin's shampoo bottle and to rig the sink to spray him with water as a harmless prank. He's always pranking you and you finally had a way to get him back. You put a bit of plastic wrap between the bottle and the cap so none would come out. You thought it would be extra funny to do it to all the bottles in the bathroom. You heard him yell while you were cooking and laughed. And then you taped the faucet so that it would spray water on him when he went to brush his teeth. You know that the first thing he does when he wakes up is brush his teeth so only his pajamas would be wet.

Only, you didn't account for Seungmin waking up late. You only woke up because he started swearing loudly when he woke up. He has an important meeting and you felt a little bad, but by the time you realized he was already in the bathroom and locked the door. So, you went ahead and made something that he could eat on the way since he wouldn't have much time to sit and eat and slipped it in his bag.

"I'm sorry Minnie, I couldn't help it. It was really funny." You giggle again.

"You really need to grow the fuck up," He grumbles before he leaves the apartment, not saying goodbye.

You could understand his anger. He hates being late so that, on top of your little series of pranks, was a justifiable reason for him to be mad at you. What you couldn't deal with is the face that he told you to grow up.

You've grown up with your parents constantly telling you to grow up anytime you were enjoying something. Maybe you were being childish, but it rubbed you the wrong way and now two of you are in a bad mood.

***

When Seungmin came home, you were nowhere to be found. Seungmin spent most of the day in a bad mood and when Chan asked him about it, that's when he felt bad about how he reacted this morning. Chan let him go home after the meeting so he could fix things with you.

He looked around the apartment for you and couldn't find you anywhere. He knew he was a bit harsh, not even saying goodbye to you as he left, but he didn't think you would leave.

He sat down on the couch and waited. He knew you possibly couldn't have left him over this morning. The two of you had bigger arguments over the years that would make more sense for you to leave.

After and hour of waiting, Seungmin decided to clean up while he waited. He went through his bag that he took with him to work and found the egg sandwich and coffee that you made for him. Feeling even more guilty for his behavior this morning. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried calling you. The phone rings for a couple of seconds before it goes to voicemail. He then sends you a series of text, getting frustrated when he sees the little 'read' message indicator appear under each of his messages.

A few more hours after that you finally come home. You find Seungmin in the kitchen cooking dinner.

"Oh, so you do remember where you live. Do you remember that you have a phone too?" Seungmin asks.

"And I'm the childish one," You mumble under your breath as you walk to the bathroom.

When you turn the water faucet on, the water sprays out at you, soaking your clothes. You took the tape off earlier when you went to brush your teeth so that shouldn't have happened.

"Seungmin, what the fuck?" You should, walking into the living room in your drenched clothes.

"Ha, it worked." He smirks while looking down at the pot he was currently checking.

"Oh, so. it's funny when you do it but childish when I do?" You roll your eyes.

"I never said that you were childish." He turns the fire off under one of the pots and wipes his hands clean on his apron.

"You implied it."

"Is that why you're mad at me? Because you think I called you childish?" He stays in the kitchen but cocks his head to the side.

"I know you did, I was there."

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. I had no right to take my anger out on you. And I'm sorry for calling you immature."

"Sorry for overreacting to you calling me immature." You mumble, digging your foot into the carpet.

"Good, now come give me a hug."

"My clothes are soaked."

"It's just water, idiot. I'll live."

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In) (514 words)

You're loud

"You're being so loud." Jeongin groans.

You immediately shut up, not realizing that your volume had increased while you were talking. Of course, you’re aware of your habit of talking loudly when you’re excited. You were mostly good at catching yourself before his happened. But some time you got carried away.

You know he's joking. He has to be. But something in you tells you that he's not. You press your lips together as your eyes shift around the room. You two were hanging around some of the other boy, but everyone was minding their own business. You quietly mumble a sorry and pull your phone out.

***

The rest of the time you hung out with Jeongin and the boys, you hadn't said a single word. The other boys had picked up on what was going on and Jeongin was blissfully unaware.

"What about you, Y/n? What do you want to eat?" Jeongin asked you, patting your leg.

You shrug your shoulders, not looking up from the book you are reading. Jisung remembered that he was supposed to let you borrow a manga series a few weeks ago and brought out the first few books for you to read when he realized you weren't going to talk anymore.

"I know you're picky, but they have a lot of things you like so tell me what you want." He pats your leg again, thinking you're too engrossed in the book to answer him.

You roll your eyes and pull out your phone and send a text to Jisung with your order before putting your phone back down and picking up the book.

"She said she was spicy cheese tteokbokki with egg and extra fishcake and a honey lemon bubble tea. And she said she doesn't care which piece of chicken we get." Jisung says loudly to Seungmin who is ordering the food.

"Why didn't you just say that?" He asks confused, looking at you while trying to read your expression.

"She's not talking to you, idiot." Hyunjin says from his spot on the floor. He and Felix are looking at something on Felix's laptop.

"What? Why?" Jeongin says, whipping his head towards Hyunjin.

"She hasn't said a single word in two hours after you said she was being loud. Which, if you think she was being loud, what the fuck do you think of Changbin hyung? Anyway, you probably hurt her feelings." Seungmin adds.

Jeongin turns his back to face you. You brought the book closer to face to avoid looking at him.

"Did...did I hurt your feelings?" He asks softly. He leans his head on your shoulder.

"Yeah, you did." You mumble.

"I'm sorry, jagi. I didn't mean it in a mean way. I just meant that you were getting loud, but I rather be loud than never hear you again." He kisses your cheek and you melt. You know that he's not big on pda and if he's willing to kiss you in front of the other boys he must be sorry.

"Oh, I'm about to be so annoying." You laugh.

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Taglist

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@berryblog @jaydebow @junebug032 @boiohboii @heistheavatar @lieslab @rainbae-anon @k-cock @hamburgers101 @mrswolfiechan @soulboundauthor @weird-bookworm @thisisnotjacinta @seungmyynie @halesandy @kpopsstuffs @honeydew93 @dandycharmer @stay278 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @babrieeee @brain-empty-only-draken @tenmii @tattywood @blueforte @jihanlovic @felixglow @alyszaen @nuronhe @soonyoungblr

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findafight · 1 year

Text

Okay I kept thinking about this post and Steve being a BNF of Corroded Coffin message board of the internet of yore.

Alright so way back in the nineties Suzie hooks everyone up with the internet, yes? Yes. Eddie and Steve got together in '92 after some mutual pining and a few disastrous relationships that couldn't handle 1) Steve and Robin's general QPR clinginess 2) Eddie's intensity 3) the secrecy required if having multiple years of monster fighting and subsequent NDAs and the trauma associated therein. They're older and more settled and ready for an Adult Relationship.

Corroded Coffin is gaining traction and doing really well and the internet is still a brave new frontier, so Steve says to Eddie something like "I'm going to see if there's some message boards about you 🥰" and find them he sure does. So he makes accounts and posts under the username EddiesOnlyGroupie because he's hilarious and also the mods banned him from using EddieMunsonsHusband (he figured it was fine on the internet because nobody actually knew who he was but APPARENTLY NOT homophobia lives on in the digital age). He gets pretty well known in the Corroded Coffin fandom, most assuming he's a woman because he will go off on how hot Eddie looked at a gig. Like. Saying unhinged internet shit because 1) true and 2) he and Eddie think it's so funny. Everyone kinda believes the groupie thing too because of all the performance pics he's able to post and how he'll sometimes offer tidbits if knowledge about the band.

When they transition from chatrooms to livejournal etc he follows, with the same username. He's kind of a legend by the mid aughts. EOG is the acronym people use when discussing theories on his identity, and he's like "guys I'm literally his only groupie it's self explanatory. Guys why don't you believe me Eddie hasn't slept with anyone but me since 1992. We're basically married". He goes "it's not a mystery we literally are in love and Jeff and I go to Cubs games and cry when they inevitably lose together. Gareth is Godfather to my cats" (Eddie is still offended that he was not named Sassafras and Moonshine's godfather when Steve and Robin adopted them in '89). No one believes him.

Possibly because he still thirsts after Eddie and whenever someone posts a new Eddie pic those in the know wait for him to pop up with comments like "I want to bite his neck omg" "he has no ass but nobody is perfect I'll settle between his thighs anyway" and "literally a crime I am not married to him right now what the fuck" As twitter grows he swoops in to grab his handle, and follows a bunch of other CC fan accounts (some of them old friends, some of them new to the scene)(EOG 100% has his own fanlore page, which also has speculation on who he is and how he gets all the bts pics. It also doesn't believe when he says what it says on the tin. He's Eddie's only groupie.)

tumblr and tiktok come round and Steve is like. Openly horny on main. He's seen some shit go down on the internet but he's still commenting on Eddie fan edits that are title shit like "why am I attracted to this middle-aged white man" and "retro cc fancam" with things like "I'd let him lick the inside of my ear and only bring it up to tease him on special occasions" "his FINGERS" "back in '89 Jeff and Howie and Claire staged a mutany over this song because they were 'sick of Eddie only writing about biting bats' lmao" and "Jeff is my favourite member of cc"(just to stir the pot)

Eddie comes out in the 2010's and he's like "yeah I've been in a long term relationship with someone who is usually mostly a man kinda (gender is fucky) for the past twenty years, lol. His name's Steve. I love him a lot even if he mocks me online." and of course EOG comments "the mods of that old message board should have let me keep my original handle of EddieMunsonsHusband. When're you gonna make it reality, Munson? smh" and everyone is like Huh?? EOG is a MAN? And he's like yeah? Sometimes?? Not always?

(He 100% thinks this is him telling people he's Eddie's Steve. They don't get the message)

Anyways life goes on Steve continues to thirst under pictures of Eddie, he has his pronouns and name in his bio on twitter (Steve, he/him, she/her, Eddie Munson's first and only groupie 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ) and continues to post behind the scenes photos that shockingly few people question (she always says "because I'm his groupie" though. He and Eddie think this is VERY funny and also true. Robin groans. They've been making the same joke for two decades.) and people believe it because Eddie has interacted EOG sometimes, liking photos or videos, commenting sometimes. (Steve has a more professional realname account that he rarely uses but Eddie usually tags Steve there)

And THEN Internet user EddiesOnlyGroupie says he's taking a few weeks off for her honeymoon because "I'm finally marrying the man of my dreams!" And people are happy for him but also bummed because Eddie is also taking a two week hiatus but EOG promises wedding and honeymoon photos. (Face reveal! Sorta!)((he doesn't get why people are excited because he's pretty sure he's been in a lot of Eddie's recent pictures, but whatever)

Imagine the Internet's surprise when Eddie Munson posts a collection of pictures spanning '86 to his 2016 wedding of him and Steve, including one of Steve looking seriously at an old desktop computer, captioned "Steve starting his internet career" and tags EOG.

Steve qrt with "I told yall. I'm his only groupie, and they should've let me keep EddieMunsonsHusband even if they WERE homophobic. Because now it's TRUE"

Niche internet community drama chaos ensues.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #rockstar eddie munson #rockstar!eddie #cc bnf steve #stranger things #this is cleaned up from a version i word vomited in a discord group lol #also Sassafras and Moonshine are steve and Robin's rescue cats they got when they went to adopt one but then found out they were bonded #and stobin had already agreed that theyd eventually get two cats and call them sassafras and moonshine after Stone Soul Picnic #so when faced with platonic soulmate Cat Edition with the names they already wanted. it was a sign.#finda's rambles #finda writes stuff #genderqueer steve harrington

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angelltheninth · 4 months

Note

From those cute flirting prompts can I order a 52 with Hawks?

You can order anything with Hawks honestly. I love the big bird man.

Pairing: Keigo Takami/Hawks x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, established relationship, jealousy, reassurance, soothing kisses, flying, ruined date night

Word count: 0.5k

Ao3

A/N: I'd be mad too if my date night with Hawks got ruined.

52. "It's you. It's only ever going to be you."

Dating the number two hero was always gonna come with challenges. But come on, you can't even go on one date without being interrupted at some point. You can deal with even that but the one thing you can't stand is people flirting with your boyfriend right in front of you no less.

Your hands are tight on his suit jacket, you're glaring at the group of his fans that ask questions and throw in the occasional flirting remark his way. And still they don't leave.

"Ah, please everyone, calm down. As much as I love my fans, I'm here on a date." It was like you were invisible until Keigo gestured towards you. Knowing that only caused you to shrink further into his side. "And we happen to be late. So excuse us." Keigo lifted you bridal style and with one flap of his wings you were in the air, away from the still persistent fans. "Much better. Should have gone with this right away rather then walking there."

Keigo smiled down at you but you couldn't return it. It would be fake, he would see right through it. Instead you curled into him as close as you could.

"Shit, are you cold up here? I should've given you my jacket before taking off. And you're wearing that dress too, I'm sorry for not thinking." He was quicker to apologize and kiss your forehead then you were to explain yourself, which did ease some of your worries.

"Some of those women were very pretty." You said as casually as possible.

"Huh? Er, I guess?" Keigo narrowed his eyes at you, noticing you chewing your cheek. "Not prettier then you. Not to me at least."

"Keigo..."

"No, I'm serious." He pulled you closer, his hands warming up the areas where they touched, "Listen, I'm with you aren't I? Everyone says that the Number Two Hero can have anyone right? Well I have you. It's you. It's only ever going to be you. I don't care what kind of words anyone else throws at me or how they look." His voice carried far in the noiseless sky. "I love you. You're the only girl for me."

You were about to reply when he suddenly paused, "Keigo, we're gonna be late." He smirked at you and started floating a bit lower, "Keigo? What are you doing?"

He didn't answer. You were lower now, low enough to be visible to the people walking down on the streets. Keigo took a deep breath, "I love my girlfriend! She's so nice and smart and funny and hot! She makes me really happy!" Your face exploded with heat as you listened to him shout at the top of his lungs, catching everyone's attention, some people even took out their phones to record.

"Oh my god. Fine, I get it, we can go now!" You buried your face in his shoulder but he lingered there for a few more moments before flying you in the direction of the restaurant. By the time you got there the clip of his confession was already all over the internet. "For the record, I love you too. You goofball."

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wannaeatramyeon · 4 months

Text

Adventures of YOUR part time job in the Lookismverse

G/N. You work the graveyard shift in a convenience store. You meet bizarre characters on different nights. Part 1 | Part 2

The customers can usually be separated into 3 categories.

Drunks, students, and weirdos.

Unfortunately for you, lately the weirdos have turned into regulars. But fortunately the weirdos aren't so weird.

The one that made it a habit to check in on you, with the scars and the cheesy wink wasn't so bad. Jack, was it? You can't remember and it's been too long for you to ask. You awkwardly address him as 'you' and avoid any situation where you need to use his name.

He likes to ask how you are, tell a few jokes. Spirit undeterred even when you look at him with a blank face because bless his soul, he's not funny at all but at least he tries and he's a lot less weird than first impression.

He hangs around at odd times, then again you do only work at odd times. Telling you stories about this and that. Something about Big Deal, something about a guy called Sinu and something about another guy called Samuel.

It's difficult to keep track. It's like he wants to talk but he's cryptic and god, it's 4am who can blame you if your eyes are glazing over.

John, or is it Jerry, is waffling again. He seems to always be talking about Samuel. Who he apparently misses and wonders where it's gone wrong and hang on, he's never been explicit but you just had to know.

When he takes a breath to munch on a cookie, you ask, "Hold on, is Samuel your ex?"

Wait no his name is Jason, definitely Jason- freezes mid-chew, "Why would you say that? He's my friend!"

Joshua sprays crumbs all over you but you note how he doesn't say no.

(You think you see this Samuel one early morning. You’re pretty sure you’ve seen him before and man, he really looks like shit.

Looks like the breakup is getting to him too.

Poor Samuel and Poor Jim.)

But sometimes weirdos are just weirdos.

It's ok. It comes with the territory so long as they're not in the habit of hurling abuse or whatever, you can deal with it.

In recent memory, there's only been two people that you have had to almost chase out with a broomstick.

You should have known they would be weirdos when one of them walks in in surprisingly teeny tiny purple camo shorts. Not that you're a pearl clutcher, but you're worried that one wrong move and he could be dangling out.

Besides. Purple. Camo. Shorts. Those words should never follow one after the other, and you repress a shudder at this guy's hideous dress sense when he comes up to you.

You thought the other one was alright, at least there's no hideous purple camo shorts in sight and his hair is nice (huh, this style must be popular, you’ve seen a lot of guys with this hair)-

But then he opens his mouth and asks for snakes and you think it's karma for judging camo-guy for his appearance when his friend is equally odd.

"We usually keep the snakes next to the ramen," you deadpan and the two men actually go to seek out the supposed snake (meat or pet purposes?) only to return moments later, empty-handed and looking confused.

"I think the snake is all sold out," Non-camo guy says as camo-guy glances around as if you might have hidden your snake stock elsewhere.

They must have thought you were stupid as you stood there opening and closing your mouth like a fish (or maybe a snake, do snake do these things), because come on, how are you even supposed to formulate a response to that?

Then you look at their eyes and also notice them looking snakey and surmise it must be some weird fetish thing. Pretending to be snakes and eating snakes and having pet snakes.

You want no part of this and tell them to get out.

"I'm Baek Hangyeol," a new face says, pointing to his ID badge pinned to the white coat.

"Doctor Baek Hangyeol." He stresses Doctor and Hangyeol and you wonder if he is waiting for a round of applause.

You don't say anything but you do notice he looks like a teenager and what idiot would let a teenager operate on them. (Drunk, student, weirdo. He could be all three.) Doctor Baek Hangyeol must be bluffing.

You decide not to call him on his bullshit.

"Cool," is all you respond with because you don't want another complaint for being too mouthy. You are half tempted to tell him you're not a doctor, that you just work here but that seemed kinda redundant so you keep your mouth shut.

"Do you believe in true beauty?" he asks when you finish bagging up his goods (a plain water with added minerals, a bottle of multivitamins and a protein shake) and you think what sort of question is that.

You give a halfhearted shrug and say "Sure" and he hands his business card over.

"If you're ever considering it," he tells you with a wild smile. After he has left you look down at the lettering, eyes zeroing in on ‘Plastic Surgery’.

Excuse me?! What is he trying to say?

You thought he was a weirdo but now he has firmly shifted over to asshole. You regret not telling him to go fuck himself while you had the chance. The complaint would 100% be worth it. Zero regrets.

On your break, you burn the card and feel a small sense of satisfaction.

A tall blonde guy with a creepy vibe (hold on, have you seen him before, he seems familiar. Then again, creepy blonde guys seem to be quite common around here-) walks in with the most billowing coat you have ever seen.

The entrance is kinda cool but the actual coat is kinda tragic with the cheesy red lettering and you wonder if you can pull it off any better than him.

You're still wondering about his coat when he's paying you, and hang on you have definitely seen him before because he says arigatou and hands over yen and you tell him no. Won only.

The idea of the coat, which has evolved into you fantasising about having a full blown cape, quickly loses its charm however, when the blonde gets caught in the automatic doors and you have to wrestle them open to free him.

Afterwards, you ask if he's ok, if he is harmed and can’t resist asking if the coat is ok too. You really don't want a lawsuit on your watch especially when the malfunctioning doors are not your fault.

Your kindness is repaid by him telling you he's not interested (what the fuck) and that his heart will not stray (again, what the fuck).

You accidentally eavesdrop on a couple of students lamenting about missing out on school work. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop ok, the aisles are tight and cramped, it’s a small space.

You peek over, and the one with big ears (seriously, they are huge) is telling the one with his back to you (goodness, his back is huge too) that school is important and he’s got notes the other one can use.

It’s sweet, you think. School is important and it’s good they recognise that. Nice of them to help each other out too.

When they both come to pay (holy shit, that’s a fuckton of chocolate milk), you’re surprised to find Big Ear’s friend, Big Back, looks anywhere between late 20s and early 40s but it’s never too late to catch up on education, you suppose.

You spend the rest of your shift feeling motivated.

“Going camping?” you ask the guy with the sandy blonde hair, chuckling nervously and ringing his items through.

Either he’s going camping or he’s gonna kill and hide a dead body in the forest.

He’s pretty stoic, only giving you a curt nod. You can’t help but probe him a bit more. You’ve got a feeling that if or when the dead body turns up, you want to at least clear your conscience that you’ve tried your best so you make some more idle small talk.

You mention how you haven’t been camping for ages, not since you nearly burned your tent down and singed your hair after you tried to cook some marshmallows over a fire that turned out to be more of a raging bonfire (and might have awoken your pyromaniac streak, but you keep that to yourself).

The blonde guy actually pipes up and says “Master Taesoo would never do that.”

You almost apologise out of principle due to how earnest he sounds, then he mentions something about how good this Master Taesoo is at catching and cooking snake and you wonder what the fuck is up with people and the snake obsession.

Either way, it doesn’t sound like someone is getting murdered. Only a snake (poor snake) so at least you can sleep easy later that day.

“Oh hi DG,” you say, “Sorry about your cryptocurrency falling through. Diegocoin was it?”

He blinks at you a few times in surprise and heavens above. What’s that saying, fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you? This guy has fooled you exactly no times with his shitty disguises and his effort has substantially dwindled too.

He has only put his hood up and you did think you might get mugged at one point-

It’s an empty store, for crying out loud. Who comes into an empty store in the asscrack of night with their hood up, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.

Then you notice the pink hair and shifty glance and duh.

“Is it the-?” he asks, putting his hood down and signalling to his hair.

“Yeah, it’s the-” you signal to your own head of hair. “Dude you really need to dye it if you’re going for subtle.” You pause, consider something, “Hold on.”

You walk over to the beauty aisle and grab the black hair dye.

“On the house,” you tell DG because this guy really has no self awareness.

“What do you mean no?”

“No." Your boyfriend peers down at you, arms crossed and at the end of his patience with you.

You open your mouth to argue-

“No. You know nothing about Taekwondo. How can you work here?”

You look around helplessly at the studio. He’s not exactly wrong but you’re sick of dealing with the weirdos and the snakes and the creepy blondes. “But your dad-”

“I don’t care what that stupid old man says,”

“Taehoon!” Hansu scolds from the other side of the room, and Hansu's class of toddlers all whirl their head around to stare.

“I can learn?” you offer and Taehoon raises one skeptical brow.

“So you’re going to be a student?” You nod enthusiastically, “And we’re going to pay you for that?”

Oh. Damn.

He’s got you there.

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writingoddess1125 · 4 months

Note

Yes Buggy and his hot wife are Roger and Jessica Rabbit, but if I may submit this comparison to the council:

✨Buggy and his wife are The Grinch and Martha May Whovier✨

Oh It Is ON!

In the spirit of the Winter Holiday Spirits! We are doing a Christmas Spin on My Effect Series!

So get you a egg nog with 90% rum maybe some holiday 'cigarettes' sit back and enjoy this clusterfuck idea! 🍃 🚬

P.S IM REALLY HIGH WHILE WRITING THIS SO ITS PROBABLY ALL OVER THE PLACE! ENJOY!

The Grinch and Martha May Effect 🎄

If you like my shit, support me on Ko-Fi because recession!

Link to Main Masterlist

• This Crusty Bastard has had the heart of the most beautiful women in the world.

• And didn't even realize it-

• You had all met on Gol D Roger's ship- Buggy being a snot nosed apprentice with his gaggle of friends- While you being one of the few girls on the ship was a cup bearer for your father. Silvers Rayleigh.

• This made you incredibly off limits to all, Sheltered by a life of luxury your father provided as your only real 'job' was to fill his cup. Even Gol D Roger the famed Captian spoiled you in cute dresses and expensive bows.

• Turning you into the Doll of the Oro Jackson.

• A Princess Wrapped in Silver and Gold

• You still remembered the first day you ment him-

• Both of you 13 years old, fresh faced kids still needing the guidance of adults.

• You'd snuck off from your normal areas, wanting to explore the ship some more. That's till you saw a boy- His face covered in what seemed to be gunpowder as he filled homemade bombs with total care.

• His blue hair peaking out of the red hat and drawing you to step a big closer to get a better look.

• The Tull of your sparkling dress catching the corner of his eye as he spun around quickly holding a knife out.

• Then, Ocean eyes met Your own and time seemed to slow. Ever so slightly- Your cheeks warming as you gave a soft smile.

• "Hello" Your little voice slipped out, Buggy stating at you with unsure interest. A crooked smile on his lips as he greeting you quickly- "H-Hi!"

• "Is something wrong with your nose? It looks kinda funny" Buggy glares hard at you, making you blink in question at his reaction.

• Buggy covering his face, his ocean eyes starting to cloud with tears like a storm eyed he stared at you. "Whats so funny about my nose!? Huh!"

• "Well don't get angry- I don't mind. I think its cute. Im sorry if i offended you" You smile so sweetly, feeling bad for making his sad as Buggy felt his face start to glow.

• "You think.. My nose is cute?" He questioned, making you nod honestly. He giggled into his hands, a high pitch squeaky laugh that made you smile and your heart flutter.

• "Whats your name?" He grins at you, Hearing you actually want to know about him. "Buggy! What about you pretty girl?" Your face flushing at his words.

• "I'm-"

• "(Y/N)!" You heard your name being called before you could speak, recognizing the voice of your father.

• "(Y/N)- That's such a pretty name.. Will I see you again?" Buggy asked, his eyes sparking at such a chance. Your delicate hand reaching forward and tucking a strand of his blue hair back into his hat. "I will try"

• And try you did. For a year the two of you would meet, talking on the deck of the ship for hours till you had to sneak away again. Buggy even using his Chop Chop abilities to help you get back to your room.

• It was tragic to say, but you'd never get a chance to see Buggy for many many years after your 14th birthday- Your Father sending you to an Island to keep you safe as you entered your teens.

• The disbanding of the Roger Pirates aiding in this as well-

• The death and heartache Seeming to follow you as you found yourself handing in the hands of Sir Crocodile.

• Crocodile having had an interest to whoo you for years- as he too had met you on Gol D Roger's ship, finding you the only person more then suitable to be at his side.

• You had never truly accepted his advances, Despite his power, status and more. He didn't have your heart, and you wouldn't give him any part of yourself in compensation.

• Decades it had been like this, still the girl wrapped in silver and gold. Hoarded like treasure for everyone to admire, however nothing more.

• But it seemed the tides were beginning to change- After Crocodile time in Impel Down- as well as the formation of the Cross Guild- You would meet your blue haired friend once again. Just in a unique Flashy way

• AKA by his head being punched off by Crocodile and accidently flung into your waiting chest.

• "(Y/N)?-" He mumbled against your bust, your cheeks flaring deep crimson as he floated his head up to lock eyes with your flushed face.

• He got his ass beaten for that by Crocodile of course-

• But for you it was like your heart was Kickstart again!

• At the Cross Guild, you'd always attend. Crocodile assuming it was because you were warming up to him, But in truth it was to see Buggy-

• The two of you talking to each other constantly. He was so fascinating to you-

• Like you two were children again falling in love- Sitting out under the stars talking for hours. You tucking strands of his blue hair back into his hat, him fixing any Imperfections on yohr dresses as you sat next to him. Which often lead to Buggy giggling into his gloved hands while turning away from you

• You accepted him as he was, and adored him for it. You loved his mind, his passion, even his laziness and lewd humor.

• As time went on, you noticed the same for him. How he would ask you YOUR interest, what things YOU actually liked.

• Something no one had asked you since you were a child. Most just assuming your taste and interest.

• Hell when he came for meetings he would bring you something you'd actually want. Not just shiny things to make you look more valuable.

• "Hey (Y/N)!" Buggy cloaked towards you excited as he held out a old dirty crate to you. "I remeber you said you really liked weird plants, so I found these old books and scientist-y samples of the weirdest! Hope you like them!"

• You'd almost cried at the gift, so overfill with you you hugged Buggy. Before spending hours going through the crate and organizing it all to your liking.

• However with the sweets, came the sours...

• There had been countless times you'd walk into the Guild and see Buggys face. Beaten and bruised- How Crocodile and Mihawk kicked his ass as their own personal stress relief or just to show dominace.

• It broke your heart.. truly- Buggy humiliated like that infront of everyone time and time again... You would try to comfort him after the meetings but he would just run away- You swore you saw tears in his eyes a few times.

• You'd want to many times to have him run into your arms, so you could whisper how good of a man he is and deserving so love.

- It had been a particularly festive day in the Guild Hall, Crocodile dressing in a nicer suit as better food was served and fancy alcohol was served. You even being gifted a dress by the Desert King himself to wear today, you didn't refuse but felt rather uncomforble at how attentive he was acting with you.

And uncomfortable that he had purposely sat Buggy so far away from you..

As dinner was being served, Crocodile stood up from his seat next to you. Slapping his hand on the table to gather everyone's attention.

"I have an announcement-" Crocodile voice boomed through the room, you glancing up as the hook handed man gestured for you to stand. Which you silently did-

Oh No...

"(Y/N)- Daughter of Silvers Rayleigh. A women of greatness and deserving of only the finest of riches"

No...

"I ask for your hand- I swear I will give you all the wealth you desire"

Please No...

"From Riches, Silks and even the One Piece if your little mind wishes for it"

NO!

"Will you Marry me?"

Something inside you just snapped. Staring at Crocodile face that had the crooked cigar hanging from his lips.

Crocodile taking your silence positively as he handed you a velvet box with a massive diamond ring inside of it.

You stared at the ring box that had been placed in your glove hands and felt... nothing. Absolutely nothing...

Before A fire of rage filled your insides-

"We- We aren't even dating!-" You shouted, everyone looking to yoh in shock as you looked around wildly.

"What makes you think I want to stay by your side!? You were just ment to protect me not use me as a Scudo Girlfriend! I'm not yours nor will I ever be!-" Crocodile face starting to turn red, his eyes glancing around him before setting on you with a harsh glare.

"So I-I can't accept this" You finally hissed out, bright red in the face from both embarrassment and anger. Everyone in the Guild Hall staring at you in total shock.

"Besides My Heart... Belongs to someone else-" Crocodile eyes widen as he clenched his hands in rage. You handing the ring box back to him delicately, before turning to look at Buggy who had been picking his nose diassociating heavily at the dramatics. Only coming back to reality when he saw everyone was staring at him-

Buggy stares confused, 'Why are you all looking at me?' He looked behind himself first, Then around to see who you could be talking about, that had your heart. Realizing quickly he was alone and you actually ment HIM!

"Wait Me!?"

• After such a stunning yet shocking reveal, Crocodile cut you lose. Feeling you embarrassed him infront of everyone- Which had been the greatest day of your life!

• As you fly into Buggy's (Who got beaten senseless once again) arms. Who accepts you happily into his life-

• Frolicking away to his Circus Themed Ship in what can only be described as total Joy!

• "HAHAHAHAHA I WIN!!" He yells out, holding you in his arms as he flips off Crocodile once more and holds you in his arms.

• You adore his Flashy Crusty ways, the way he weirdly cackled and utter lack of emotional control.

• Oh How you love your Crusty Clown!

#x reader #one piece #one peice x reader #one peice live action #buggy one piece #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #captain buggy #x female reader #the grinch #one piece buggy #op buggy #buggy #buggy x wife reader

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luveline · 6 months

Note

could you please write an early!roan fic where maybe she thinks Y/N is actually just coming around to spend time with her and then she finds out that it’s actually cause of her eddie, and gets all grumpy like “i thought you loved me” and Y/N comforts her “i do love you, but i also love your dad!”

thank u for requesting!! eddie and roan 1k, fem

There's a distinct smell of burned toast coming from the trailer. You trust Eddie but you rush up the steps anyhow, alarmed to find him coughing in the kitchen, window thrown open.

"Will you take her?" he asks you immediately.

You spy Roan sitting at the kitchen table and swap her for your bag of groceries. She gasps and giggles at your sudden appearance, quick to wrap her arms around your neck when you offer your embrace. You walk her to the open door and stand there sucking in clean breaths as Eddie fans a dish towel around under the smoke alarm. "What's dad burning?" you ask.

"Um. Bagels?"

You rub her shoulder. "Hey, I missed you, huh? It's been a long time since I saw you."

"I missed you too!" Roan says quickly, eager, wrapping her arms tighter around your neck to squish your cheeks together.

You smile into her hug. You and Eddie have been busy once again, and when you did manage to steal a date night, Ro was at Wayne's. You really have missed the little girl and you intend to show it, stroking your fingers through her hair gently. She dissolves like always.

"Shit," Eddie says, throwing two blackened bagels into the sink and running the water. "Shit, fuck. I'm sorry, girls, I don't know where my head's at."

"Cream cheese can't fix that."

"It's okay, dad," Roan says. "We can get burgers."

"I can't always feed you burgers, babe, it's not good for you." Eddie rubs his hair out of his face. "And Y/N just got here from work, she doesn't wanna go out again." You're dying to flop on their couch, but if she wants a burger for dinner, who are you to stop her? Still, Eddie puts his foot down. "No, bub. I'll make some more bagels. It'll be yummy. We have salami and everything."

"Uh," she whines, laying back in your arms. You nearly drop her. You laugh at her dramatics as she slowly drags herself back up, her eyes practically sparkling with an idea. "Me and you can go get burgers," she whispers.

"I really am tired. Let's get burgers on the weekend, maybe." You don't like letting her down but you have to be a united front with Eddie. Usurping his authority helps no one, especially when she wants something she isn't going to get today. "And I'd miss dad."

"Who cares about dad?" she says.

You laugh. "I do! He's my boyfriend."

"He's your what?"

Eddie looks up from where he's cleaning. The burned bagels have been disposed of, the kitchen sink washed out and the toaster cleared of scorched crumbs. "You knew that, Ro." He sounds puzzled.

"He's my prince," you say. "You know? The prince to my princess Polly."

"What?" Roan stares at you with an extremely amusing expression, her eyebrows tugged in betrayal.

"Sweetheart, you know me and daddy are together, don't you?" you ask, hosting her higher on your hip. "That's why we go on dates and stuff. And why he brings me flowers, why we had that anniversary dinner, remember, with the melted chocolate?"

"I thought you loved me."

"I love you so much," you say, looking to Eddie for assistance. He seems as lost as you feel. "Like, so much. But I love dad too. He's hard not to love, isn't he? He's handsome and funny, and he makes great grilled cheese–"

Roan does not look happy. She pushes at your chest to be put down and sprints out of the kitchen to her bedroom, where you hear a clattering of things being pushed over and a whine filled to the brim with attitude.

"Should I…"

Eddie shakes his head. "In a minute. Let her be angry for a bit. This is her first heartbreak."

You meander into him and pinch his waist. "Don't say that to me, that's awful. Poor baby, did she really not know we were dating?"

"Of course she knows. She just forgets, 'cos she loves you and she thinks you're best friends" He wraps an arm over your shoulders. "Wow. I wonder if she thinks of me as the third wheel when we hang out."

You take the bread knife out of his hand. "Don't bother with that. We're getting burgers."

Eddie's laugh is more of a girly, cute giggle, like he's just had a shot. You elbow him in the stomach until he cuts it out, and beg forgiveness for being grouchy with a hug. You press your face into his neck and huff. "I missed you before you got me in trouble," you mumble.

"Nuh-uh, that had nothing to do with me." He kisses your temple. "She loves you. It's nice. It's… You're awesome. It's great that she thinks you love her more than you love me, even if she's wrong."

"I do love her more than I love you."

"Are you trying to piss us both off? You can go get burgers by yourself."

Roan is face down in her bed when you knock on her door a couple of minutes later, completely still. You pick up the plushies she's flung off her bed and sit them up in pride of place against the wall. "Princess, you know I love you," you say. "Don't you?"

"Yeah."

"But you know I love daddy too?"

"Ugh." She shakes her head in disgust.

"Ugh," you say agreeably. "You're my favourite, though."

She turns very slightly to peek at you. "I am?"

"Obviously. That's why I just told dad we were going for burgers whether he wanted to or not." You tickle her side until she laughs and turns on her back to escape you. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, I wasn't trying to. We're still friends, right?"

"We're best friends."

"That's what daddy said." You scoop her up into your side for a squish. "We're best friends forever," you whisper.

She leans up to rub her nose against yours.

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