#i do wanna do the comics its just that i have 1 (one) braincell and it's just a bouncy ball | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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spiralingsights · 3 years

Text

A Monster in the Dark - Chapter 5

[ self ship fanfic about Nightmare Bonnie and my insomniac s/i :) ]

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Cane didn’t remember laying down. Or falling asleep. Or having the massive fucking headache he had now.

Damn. So much of yesterday gone. He rolled over in the bed (when did he get to the bed?) to grab his phone off of the unused nightstand. 6pm glared up at him, and that alone was enough to send him flying off the bed, headache be damned.

Until, that is, he noticed the text on the screen. Quickly tapping it and inputting his password, he was surprised to find a whole conversation between him and Scrap that he never remembered going through. Apparently he had told his boss that he wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be coming in. Scrap was fine with it, since he’d never used a sick day, and the most recent text was to remind him that a normal sleep schedule would do him some good.

“What the fuck happened…?” he muttered, running a hand over his hair as Cheesy came darting into the room, screaming to be fed. “Okay, feeding you I can handle.”

He allowed her to lead him to her food absentmindedly, placing more of his focus on what the hell happened the day before. His headache still wasn’t going away, but nothing was misplaced, moved, or taken so at least no one broke in.

A sigh escaped his lips as he realized that living alone was doing him more harm than good. If he had a roommate, he could have figured out what happened. “Should have taken Cass up on her offer…”

Cheesy screamed again, reminding him once more that he still had not fed her. He was apparently more out of it than he originally thought, so he went ahead and gave her what she wanted before heading to the living room and collapsing on the couch.

He should have grabbed some aspirin while he was in the kitchen, especially since he only now noticed the bump on his head. Had he passed out standing up? It was the most likely answer, since it wasn’t exactly uncommon, but he’d gotten plenty of sleep the day before that so that really shouldn’t have happened.

It could just be that his body was finally fighting back. Scrap was right, better sleep would benefit him a lot more than the bullshit he was currently working with.

“It’s really funny to watch you think,” an all too familiar voice suddenly spoke up next to him, causing him to flinch away from the bunny. “Your face gets all scrunched up like you have to work really hard for it, it’s hilarious.”

Hm. So the demon has a sense of humour. “At least I can think at all,” Canetheus shot back, still out of it enough to not realize that 1) he was acknowledging the thing and 2) he’d just talked back to a fucking nightmare.

It didn’t seem too bothered judging from the bark of a laugh it replied with. “You’re a lot more entertaining than that kid you know. He would just cry and fight us but you changed your entire schedule to keep us away. I’d almost say you were obsessed.” Was it… grinning? It was hard to tell with the whole animatronic problem it had.

“I’ve seen obsession though. You’re obsessed with that research project of yours, but definitely not with us.” It only just now clicked for Cane that it had been saying “us”. He didn’t like it implying he would see it’s friends in the waking world too.

“Well, you can tell your pals to fuck off, because I’m really not up for my house becoming a monster nest,” he replied, briefly bothered with how quickly he started talking to it but mostly annoyed with idea that he’d have to deal with all of them.

The bunny gave that barking laugh again instead of reply, even slapping a clawed hand down on its mangled knee. “Oh, you’re funny. It’s not your house we’re attached to, you poor, tiny human. It’s you.”

Well. That was unsettling. For a moment Canetheus just stared at it in its horrible magenta eyes (actually, its eyes were actually kinda pretty, from an aesthetic standpoint) before letting out a strangled, and near hysterical laugh.

It seemed confused by that, which only made him laugh again. “Wow, you really do think I’m stupid! I know you’re attached to me you dumbfuck, I just wanna know why.”

Apparently, the nightmarish version of Bonnie really wasn’t expecting that, because it leaned back and scratched its chin in an almost comical way. “Quite frankly, we don’t know. One day we were with that crying brat and the next we were following you. You’d just moved in, I think, and we were just standing outside your door.”

That really wasn’t much of an explanation. “You mean, you’ve been here since day one? I wasn’t even seeing you guys in my nightmares my first few weeks here. It was only after I got the job at the diner that you started showing up.” He’d been having the nightmares he was used to before that, the ones that he could handle. Sure they were grotesque and lingered for hours after waking, but they were tolerable.

The nightmare simply shrugged, not sure what to tell him. “We don’t choose where we go, and we had to build up energy before revealing ourselves. Being the ghost of something that never lived is quite the process.”

It was a relief to know that he wasn’t actually being haunted by the five original kids that died at least, but not very comforting to know that the original four had been sentient in their own way and apparently angry enough to become the nightmares that they now were.

It must have been the fire. Cane had read about it plenty of times with how obsessed the forums and fan sites were with it (that one, and the other two that had also taken down Fazbear Entertainment buildings). It would certainly explain why they all looked the way they did. Fire simply does that to animatronics.

“So… the original four had their own sentience?” That got a nod. “Okay. What about the big yellow one? The one that looks like Fredbear?”

It had to think on that one for a moment, as if it was trying to remember who he was talking about despite the thing being rather hard to forget. “Oh! Yeah, no, that’s literally Fredbear. Like… the original animatronic. He had sentience long before that kid ever latched onto him. But boy was that girl angry. She changed him forever.”

So, the girl that attached herself to Fredbear (Cassidy, if the newspaper clippings were right) was angry enough that her rage became his rage. Because that’s what Cane needed right now.

He didn’t want to think about that right now, that was one thousand percent something that future Cane who had energy and seven aspirins could deal with. So he asked something else.

“What do I call you?” That got its attention again. It kinda tilted its head at him, seemingly thinking the question over.

“Why not just Bonnie?”

“Why would I call you Bonnie?”

“Technically it’s my name.”

“I’m not calling you fucking Bonnie.”

It huffed at his refusal, crossing its arms and probably pouting like a child. “Fine. What do you wanna call me then?” Dude. This is why he asked YOU.

Cane groaned, leaning back into the couch now that it was confirmed he would have to use his own braincells for this. He took a minute to think of a few combinations of ‘nightmare’ and ‘Bonnie’ before finally coming up with something.

“What about NightBon?” he asked, turning his gaze back to his monstrous companion. It thought the name over, humming quietly as if he was tasting wine. “Dude. It’s not fucking rocket science, do you like the name or not?”

It laughed at his impatience, but quit the act anyway. “It’s really bad,” it said, but cut off whatever Cane’s reply was going to be, “but works nonetheless. Better than you calling me something rude.”

It was tempting.

“NightBon it is,” Cane confirmed with a stern nod, before the reality of the situation fully hit him.

He’d just given a name to his nightmare. His nightmare was fucking real. He was sitting here, talking to the thing that had haunted him for two damn years now.

What did he just get himself into?

#self ship fankids #self shipping #scrap.writing #s/i: canetheus freeman #canetheus freeman #nightmare bonnie #maybe if you whack me in the head i'll pass out (nightmare bonnie self ship tag)

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