#i don’t control what i dream i just dream

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

All In The Name Of Love - LN4/CL16

Dark fic 18+ - if you don't like this or the warnings/themes make you uncomfortable. I can't stress this enough, DO NOT READ THIS

Request from @nocoolusernamesavailable-blog for dark Charles and Lando poly relationship - ngl kinds of smut with a plot

Warnings/themes: Very toxic relationship, naive!reader, somewhat kidnapping (she can leave technically), manipulation, smut (threesome obviously, overstimulation, briefly mention of toys, anal not directly mentioned but insinuated), some complicated parental relations

No part 2 requests please - really, it's not getting a part 2 but I may do other poly relationships

When y/n appeared in the paddock, Lando and Charles weren't the only ones with their eyes set on her. They were just the only ones unwilling to give her up, and so the agreement was made that they'd share her.

They just didn't...ask her if that was ok with her. In fact the decision was made without her knowledge at all.

Y/n is the very innocent and sillily ignored daughter of a billionaire in Monaco. Richer than both her boyfriends but she's one of many children from one of many ex-wives who also don't care much for the children who were just a ticket to guarantee they'd get money to live off of from their ex-husband. She doesn't even know most of her siblings because they're all from different countries dotted around the world.

Don't mistake her naivety as meaning she was some easy target that instantaneously made it easy. As much as it'd probably be a lot of peoples dreams to have both Lando Norris and Charles Leclerc as their boyfriends. She was a little scared by their forwardness and essentially her lack of choice.

The public is also fairly confused of the dynamic and the relationships. Since none of the them will acknowledge it and y/n is spotted with both Lando and Charles but only once of the two together. She's a face of controversy. But they figured not confirming the whole poly relationship would be in everyone's best interest.

Y/n does know if she’d go as far as to say that she loves either Lando or Charles but she definitely doesn’t like one more than the other. She just likes different things about them.

Lando is fire and ice. Sterner, firmer and usually rougher in all the best ways. He has given her rules and expectations which she needs to live by and if she doesn’t then punishment of his choice is given. Before he was in her life, she’d have thought him to be the type she needed to avoid, and yet that’s the last thing she could imagine wanting.

Charles is calm and grounding. His presence is assertive and controlled, he’s slightly softer with y/n treating her as if she’s slightly more fragile and breakable, she thinks he could trace her body with his eyes closed with the amount of time he’s taken to learn every inch of her skin and use any weak spots against her. But in the same way as Lando, he has rules he expects y/n to follow. He lets Lando punish while he comforts in the after.

Without one she’d unlikely have stayed with the other, well not without a much bigger fuss over the whole thing.

Which is why they’re wise enough to know this is a mutually beneficial situation and they don’t intend for either of them to lose their position.

Now one thing to note is that y/n wasn't by any means a virgin before she met Lando and Charles but she wasn't very adventurous in the bedroom either.

And while sex isn't a punishment really, pushing her into a position or situation that is not in her comfort zone at all is exactly what Lando does when she upsets him.

"I can't." Y/n hiccups laid leaning back onto Charles as he holds her legs apart, remaining so completely quiet she almost forgot he was there.

"You can." Lando states casually while holding some pressure over her g-spot and clit simultaneously.

Y/n has lost count of her orgasms, though she's sure both men have a count. The bed under her is soaked, she didn't even know what squirting was till today and she is in a layer of sweat as her head lols on Charles' shoulder.

Orgasms became on the line of pain at least 2 or 3 ago, again she's lost count.

"I think we can get a few more from you, what do you think Charles?" Lando questions feeling her already building up to another one as she whines and squirms trying to push back into Charles but it's not escape from Lando's touch.

"I think so." Charles hums just mesmerised by how pretty she looks against him.

Her mouth has long gone dry and when another orgasm hits her, she's spasming and trembling so much that she even notices Charles grip tighten on her while Lando doesn't let up for even a second.

"Ma belle." Charles whispers but she's too far gone, her body feels foreign and her mind is in a bubble that's floated elsewhere.

Lando follows through on another 2 orgasms before finally giving her reprieve. But not for long.

"Lando." Charles tries as he watches Lando pick up small vibrator

"She's the one who apparently wants all our attention at all times." Lando smirks sending Charles a look as if demanding he challenge him. "Anyway, it's for later."

Charles hums going to shift her but y/n mumbles a no and grips at his leg.

"Maybe get her to the guest room to clean up, we'll need to leave in an hour." Lando hums while Charles hums shifting y/n, whispering in her ear to settle her as she whines. Way to far gone to be processing their conversation.

Charles cleans around the toy and manages to get her somewhat in some clothes though she does protest it. Even just the brushing of clothes on her skin is too much stimulation on her.

But after a promise of cuddles and making sure Lando doesn't turn on that toy before she can really handle it. She gets dressed and eagerly curling up next to him and even dozing in and how out of a sleep to try and recuperate some of her energy after what she hopes is a one time experience.

"I didn't mean to upset you both."

"We don't like seeing you flirt with other men, y/n."

"I wasn't-"

"Don't lie." Lando cuts in appearing in the room. "We saw you with Carlos."

As if it couldn't get worse, it had to be Lando's best friend and Charles' teammate. But she really wasn't flirting, he'd just made a comment about how Lando and Charles seemed to be in a game of tug over war over her and she replied saying he had no idea.

"He's right, mon amour." Charles states then sighing at her as he gently cups her face with a sad smile. "Don't do it again and we won't have to punish you."

Some would argue orgasms are a fairly good punishment but when it's a matter of limits and being pushed well over them, it's really not something she's eager to have happen again. Even if it means one orgasm at a time, she'd rather than then this again.

"I'm sorry." Y/n mumbles in defeat with a pout.

"You don't need to be sorry, just no doing it again." Charles assures her before looking at Lando. "No using the toy till she is actually steady on her feet again."

Lando grumbles but agrees making the young woman look visibly relaxed.

A ringing through the apartment is heard which Lando moves to pick up finding it's y/n's phone and an unfamiliar man's name.

"Who is Frederick?" Lando questions making y/n look up from playing with a ring on Charles' hand.

"Oh my gosh-it's my dad." Y/n gasps shoot forward and snatching her phone. "Hello?"

"Speaker." Charles instructs making her sigh and place it on loud speaker.

"Oh for fuck sake. You had my solicitor thinking you were dead. Where the hell have you been? My assistant checked your apartment and said it looks like no one has been there for weeks. The bank called to say there was unusual activity on your card. What is going on?" Her dad questions not so much relieved to discover his daughter is alive but seemingly annoyed that her being alive has caused a fuss.

"No one called." Y/n mumbles while noticing both Lando and Charles looking annoyed at the way her dad is speaking to her.

"That is not an answer y/n."

"I'm...away on a trip. And what unusual activity is happening on my card?" Y/n frowns since to her knowledge Lando and Charles have paid for everything for her. Despite her having access to possibly more money than them combine.

"You weren't spending anything. Everyone thought you were being held for ransom and the ransom note had been left in your apartment or something."

"Well I'm alive...I've just not needed to buy anything recently."

"Fine by me. I just needed to know if I had a funeral to attend. Your mother wouldn't tell me if she even bothered herself to know anyway."

Y/n winces at the harshness of her dad's words and when Lando and Charles both make a dive for the phone to take it, y/n quickly shifts since an interaction between them and her dad would only lead to her dad probably stealing her to lock her away for daring to spend time with men who would talk to him with anything other than respect.

"I have to go, Frederick. Thank you for the concern." Y/n mumbles before hanging up and look at the two angered F1 drivers. "You guys can't talk to him. He might not care in general but...he thinks of his kids like property when he wants to. Especially if he feels crossed. He'd track me down and kidnap me from the both of you as soon as the call ended if either of you had said something."

"You don't need his money or whatever he considers to be any amount of concern for your well-being. You have us." Charles states while Lando nods in agreement to the Monegasque's words. "We are your family."

Y/n softens slightly, when it's came to her parents neglect she's always found it hard to talk about it.

"We love you, y/n." Lando sighs making her move forward and hug him tightly before he scoops up her legs to hold her around his waist. "We love you a lot."

-

If there's one thing Lando and Charles both love it's having y/n at the races. Usually they split days, y/n spending Friday with one of them, Saturday with the other and then race day she usually finds a neutral place to watch from.

Both Lando and Charles have taken to being the ones to handle her phone, keeping her away from social media has proven to be a wiser move than they anticipation.

Y/n has been the talking point of a lot of hate, not even just towards herself but Charles and Lando have been getting shit talked for their choice to even spend time with the girl. Her being a billionaire's daughter seems to mean she's reflect on them as a poor taste in women (the irony doesn't escape them on that either).

"Alright, I'll see you later." Lando mumbles, while she smiles at him lightly, hanging her arms around his neck as she looks up at him with sparkling eyes. He knows for certain that y/n is exactly how they want her.

Y/n pushes onto her toes to kiss him, uncaring of any onlookers while Charles smiles and shakes his head.

"I'll see you later." Y/n mumbles with a grin before kissing him once more before she moves quickly to Charles who grins linking their hands and lifting it to make her spin under her arm as they walk to the Ferrari unit. "I'm hungry."

"Then we will get you something to eat." Charles smiles wrapping his arms around her and finding her capturing him in a day brightening kiss.

"I know I'm lucky to have you and Lando." Y/n smiles then tilting her head. "Can I steal your cap today?"

"You will have to wear something for Lando too."

"He chose my whole outfit." Y/n hums earning a look. "I will steal something from him though."

"Good." Charles smiles then pulling off his cap and putting it on her head. "You do look very good in red."

Y/n grins letting Charles notice the same sparkle behind her eyes that Lando had spotted before she's kissing him again.

When Charles is in his debrief, y/n runs over to McLaren looking for some sort of McLaren team wear she can steal.

"Y/n? Everything ok?" Jon asks making her nod looking behind him for her boyfriend. "He's in his room."

"Thank you."

And then she's off, jogging to Lando's room where he almost looks alarmed to see her.

"Can I borrow a jacket?" Y/n asks before he can get a word out and the looks of confusion is definitely there. "I want to wear Charles' cap but he said I should wear something from McLaren too..."

"I think orange and red might be a bit much together. But you can borrow my jacket." Lando states handing her the varsity jacket he'd arrived in the paddock with. "So long as it's mine, I won't feel too sore about you wearing a Ferrari cap."

"Ok." Y/n grins before she moves towards him and gets a kiss. "Good luck in qualifying."

-

Lando and y/n arriving later after the race than Charles wasn't on the plans but Charles had a bit of a rough race and he left before either had the chance to catch him.

"Charles?" Y/n mumbles walking into the suit and finding him fresh out the shower drying his hair. "Charles..."

Lando puffs out a breath leaving y/n to do the consoling, his race wasn't amazing but it was better than Charles'.

"You still did good." Y/n tries making the Ferrari driver grunt.

"I think sleep would be the best mood booster." Lando comments making y/n roll her eyes before she pushes the waistband of her shorts down and wiggles out of them before smiling when Charles senses her choice of mood boosting the white set earning Lando's attention.

"On the bed." Charles instructs making her move positioned on all fours over Lando, undoing his jeans and wasting no time because actually maybe she's more eager for their attention and needy for it than she ever thought she would be.

But also who wouldn't have sex with their two fit as fuck boyfriends?

Almost as if Charles was waiting for the moment, as soon as y/n take Lando between her lips he thrusts into her, only pushing the thong aside to gain access before he moves his hand to her waist setting a cervix bruising pace and depth while Lando very happily takes control of her head movements.

Both are caught up in using her for their own pleasure but just the feeling of being filled by the two is enough for y/n to get off and when Lando cums, pushing deep enough down her throat to see a bulge in her throat from his length the lack of air sends her over the edge, moaning around the dick still spilling cum down her throat before Charles uses the new tightness of her orgasm to fuck her through and into his own. Filling her as much as possible before Lando lets her up leaving her coughing a little.

Y/n whines when Charles gently pushes her forward onto Lando who more than happily holds the panting woman still trying to refill her burning lungs, aching from the lack of air.

"I'll be right back." Charles sighs while Lando hums and y/n climbs up to straddle his tummy, uncaring of Charles' cum leaking onto his stomach.

"If you're trying to turn me on again, you're doing a very good job." Lando smirks earning a grin as she leans forward.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, and maybe we could see if you might be ready to fit both of us."

Y/n's face pales in a second, there'd be some hints at taking them both and not just in the way she had just done.

"I-"

"Charlie!" Lando calls making her jump a little. "Come back in here, y/n's got a second surprise for you."

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #ln4 x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando x reader #lando #norris #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #scuderia ferrari #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x y/n #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #mclaren #ln4 #mclaren f1 #lando norris smut

[invisiblestringmm]

chapter four

i’ll tell you the truth but never goodbye

a/n: i hope this chapter makes you cry 😂

tw: there’s a bit of angst, and definitely lots of fluff. y/n struggling with being a single mum. mason being a gorgeous mf. lily being the cutest human, lots of lily appreciation too.

3.100k words

It didn’t come as a surprise to see Jaz keeping her promise to support you as best as she could - you got daily FaceTime calls, texts, and Instagram DMs. You got post-ballet dinners and ice cream, the four of you becoming closer each day - Lily and Summer were inseparable now, and you had Jaz not getting tired of telling you she felt like you’d become the sister she never had.

Not being able to control where your thoughts went, your mind made you question a few times how it would’ve been having this extra support when you were pregnant, and you asked yourself if you’d ever stop being hunted by the countless what-ifs of yours and Lily’s life. You had to stop and take a deep breath and just force yourself to focus on all the wonderful things that were happening now, and how much you wanted them to still be this way when it was time to tell Mason, and everyone else.

Despite having Jaz reassure you that things would end up well, Mason was pretty much unknown territory to you, emotionally speaking - yes, you gave birth to his “mini-me”, but that was no guarantee that you were able to predict him. Not knowing what to expect should’ve made you stay as far away as possible from him, but after you had a text message from Jaz sharing the big news that Mason would be at the ballet recital, while you watched your daughter roll her eyes in the delight as she devoured the pancakes and strawberries on her plate, you decided to reply to that message he had sent you weeks ago.

What you didn’t expect was for him to reply within less than a minute.

“Mummy, are you okay?” Lily had her eyebrows frowned at you, she curiously scanned your probably pale face as your heart pounded against your chest. A simple nod was enough for her to focus back on the pancakes, but also give you occasional and quick glares as your shaky hands tightly held the phone.

You barely had any appetite left as you felt your stomach dropping when Mason texted that - so, he wanted to see you. It wasn’t time yet, at least, it didn’t feel like it. But should the ballet recital be the best place to meet him? Would you be able to act surprised and sustain casualty at that meeting that’d be sort of arranged by his sister?

So many questions and insecurity surrounded you whenever Mason was on your mind, and having to look into Lily’s hazel eyes, her smile, and everything else on her that was his copy only made it worse for you - it was nearly suffocating, and you just needed a mother and daughter moment to focus on anyone but Lilian.

“Peanut,” you poked her tummy, making her giggle. “Why don’t we have a girl's afternoon today, huh? Museum, whatever you want for lunch and we can wrap it with skincare and Moana!”

Lily stood on the chair - your instinct making you hold her arm - and made her little celebration dance, still chewing the pancake, her dark brown soft curls bouncing. That vision completely took your breath away, you often couldn’t believe such a precious girl was your daughter.

Not that all of your days weren’t already hers, but dedicating a whole day off to Lily was your favourite thing to do. When she was just a baby, you often imagined how these days would be, with your little best friend and soulmate, on coffee dates and nights where you’d light up a scented candle and read her a book. The way your voice soothed her was Lily’s favourite thing, combined with your smell. It made her feel safe like nothing could ever harm her. In her dreams, her daddy joined the two of you - she couldn’t see his face but could feel the warmth of his hand holding hers and his laugh was the best sound in the world. Lily wondered if she’d ever meet him, the only thing she knew and was happy about was the fact that she looked like him, as you’ve told her countless times.

Careful not to lose Lily from your sight as she walked three steps in front of you, her eyes not sure what she wanted to focus her attention on at the museum, your mind went back to Mason’s last words to you that morning. So, he wanted to apologise for the way he treated you. Part of you felt good about it, that he had finally recognised what a complete twat he had been, but the other part of you just thought how that made no difference now - it was in the past. Not buried, since your past with him had taken the most angelic human form, but it wouldn’t change things. It was all about the future now.

For lunch, Lily insisted on spaghetti, her all-time favourite food. You had to persuade her a bit to eat a bit of protein too because pasta would make her feel hungry again by the afternoon, and you knew how much she hated being hungry right before taking a nap - your persuasion included the word dessert, so not much time was wasted trying to convince her to accept some chicken with her pasta.

Your phone buzzed with a real-time picture of Jaz and Summer by the time you had just bought a gorgeous bouquet of yellow roses, Lily’s favourite. She insisted that a good girls’ night would only be complete if you had fresh roses, that she wanted to carry herself. You quickly snapped a picture of her and sent it to Jaz, asking why they’d have to grow up so fast and that her niece was insufferable.

“Can you please behave like a child and not like an adult, Lilian Maisie?” like a little kid, you pouted, suddenly emotional to see so much wit and wisdom in your tiny human.

Lily giggled, “Mummy!” she held your hand, placing a soft kiss against it and walking according to your pace. “Can we go home now?” You nodded, quickly fetching an Uber to drive you home.

By the time you got there, she was already heavily sleeping in your arms as you clumsily also carried your purse and the flowers, and tried to open the door without troubling her sleep - if it was up to you, you’d find a way for mums to have an extra pair of arms, they’d definitely be useful in times like these.

You knew Lily wouldn’t sleep that much, so the sofa was where you put her before putting the roses in the water and getting rid of your coat. It was almost dark outside, so you also started to prepare the apartment for movie night. Your little girl woke up with a loud yawn that was followed by a wide smile when she noticed the blankets and pillows on the floor, some candies in a bowl, and fruits too, which were her favourite snacks.

“Matching pyjamas?” you winked at her and giggled as Lily nodded repeatedly, stretching her arms at you so you’d carry her to the bedroom.

A few minutes later you were cuddling under the blankets and watching Moana for the millionth time. You fell asleep shortly before the film ended and were quickly followed by Lily as she hummed an “I love you, mummy” and kissed the tip of your nose.

Despite not being the most comfortable place for your back to spend the night, there was no other place you’d rather be right now, holding your daughter's warm and small body - the smell of her strawberry shampoo and the pace of her calm breathing taking you to a place where no nightmares, no worries, would catch you in your sleep. You woke up in the middle of the night when she moved a bit and, after watching her sleep for a few minutes, finally turned off the TV and quickly texted Mason before going back to sleep.

When you woke up, there was a message from Jaz saying that they’d all go out for dinner after the ballet recital, and as hard as it was, you had to politely decline for you’d have a little celebration with your own family in a pre-Christmas party since a few members wouldn’t be joining at Foxwoods this year. And that you wouldn’t be able to be around Mason before telling him all the truth, which led to you telling her that he had reached you and you agreed to talk. She went from upset to hopeful in the blink of an eye.

As you prepared for the recital, you had to deal with an impatient and bossy Lily - combined with stress from work, that you had to forcefully turn into home office for the Holidays, the exhaustion that took over your body grew by the minute. It resulted in calling your mum for help, who showed up with your dad on her side by your door.

“You know she’d ask for me anyway, kid!” Your always cheerful father rubbed his hands together as he went straight for his granddaughter, who waited for him with her arms up, waiting to be spun around like a doll. You loved how your dad, a serious and famous lawyer, turned so soft whenever Lily was around - and now, how he’d cope with having to eventually “share” her with her other grandfather.

“Where do you need me to begin, amor?” Your mother’s heavy Colombian accent woke you up, and a sigh of relief parted your lips as you pulled her into a hug. “What is wrong, bebe? Tell your mamá,” Her hands softly stroked your back as you just closed your eyes and enjoyed being the daughter instead of being the mum.

“It’s nothing, I’m just exhausted. I thought that being one of the bosses would give me more free time but it’s just more work, and Lily is insufferable with this recital thing,” you sniffed. “I’m so glad it’s finally tomorrow.”

But you also weren’t, because it meant you’d see Mason after five years.

-

If anyone told you that your daughter’s ballet recital would be the place you’d almost certainly meet her father again, especially without him being the father of another kid there, you’d just roll your eyes and leave - as you stood in front of your closet, not sure about what to wear, your mind played tricks on you creating different scenarios on how that meeting would go. There was so much expectation from you, so much anxiety to see how Mason would react. He thought you’d meet for coffee sometime soon, not at a ballet recital where you were the mother of one of the kids.

Much to your relief, Willow arrived at your place right on time to save you from a breakdown over “what to wear to meet the father of my daughter after five years without looking like an exhausted mother, but also drop-dead gorgeous, and respectful”.

“Lord, that’s specific!” Willow screeched, not really helping you, in the end. “Why do you want to impress him anyway?”

“Willie, I know you’re smarter than this,” you replied as she just shrugged, still waiting for an answer. You got a positive reaction when you picked a knit burgundy dress, so you tried it on and what you saw in the mirror made you satisfied. “The next time I see him it’ll be to tell him the truth, so he needs a good first second impression.”

“His first impression of you was good enough,” she teased, watching your cheeks blush as she helped to remove the dress tag. “But you’re wearing a brand new dress for him tonight, so I’m sure the second impression will be just as good.”

“Stop it, silly. You know it’s not like this, and he doesn’t know it’s a new dress.”

Willow kept teasing you with her glares and smirks as the five of you drove to the small theatre rented for the night by the ballet studio, it was already a bit crowded when you got there and you rushed to take Lily to the backstage, where all her ballet friends greeted her in excitement. It truly was the cutest thing in the world, those little humans in their tutus, giggling and chatting like they were grown-ups.

With a quick and wet kiss on your daughter’s cheek - that made her adorably embarrassed - and a hug on Summer, you told the girls how wonderful they were and left to find your family. You quickly spotted Willow and Jaz laughing about something that made you curious, and although you were happy to see Jasmine, you also hoped it’d take a little longer to meet her and, potentially, the rest of her family. And Mason, to be more specific.

“He’s not here yet,” like she could read your mind, Jaz’s words caused you to sigh in relief. “You look gorgeous, by the way!”

Smiling at her, you softly stroked her bump. “You too, pretty mumma.”

As the lights dimmed down, announcing that the recital would begin soon, you and Willow parted ways from Jaz to meet your family. Your dad held your hand and gently squeezed it, his eyes already sparkling with tears - the truth was you couldn’t have done it without your parents, but your dad was something else. It was expected that being showered with affection would be something you’d get from your mum, who was a Latina, but you got it all from your dad because, according to him, you were the result of how much he adored your mum and Lily was an extension of that. His legacy, as he’d say. He never questioned your choices, the way you raised your daughter, nor why you never talked about who Lily’s father was. The respect your parents had for you was overwhelming, and that’s why you’d tell the whole truth tonight as soon as Lily was peacefully asleep.

When the five-year-olds act began, you were the one ready to let some tears roll down your cheeks. There she was, your Lilian Maisie, as beautiful as ever on her first ballet performance - something you never truly expected, since she had always been the adventurous type of kid. But you watched her balance it so perfectly that you often questioned if she was just five years old, and also how she’d be as a grown woman. As she danced, you had a clear vision of Lily in her early twenties. She was tall, her hair was a bit darker now but the soft curls were still there and so was the natural flush on her cheeks. She was beautiful and finally looked a bit more like you, but Mason’s smile was still there. She was kind, full of hope, funny, gracious and so smart. She was loved by everyone around her and made their lives better by simply existing.

When her act ended, you proudly stood up and clapped your hands as if your life relied on it. Her eyes scanned the audience, looking for you, and when she finally found you her face lit up and that smile you loved so much was there, making your heart melt. “I love you,” you mumbled, and she just winked at you.

Gosh, there was no way Mason wouldn’t love this girl to the point his heart would nearly explode. You wanted him to have it too.

Excusing yourself as the older girls got on stage, you went to the bathroom to fix your makeup. As you looked at yourself in the mirror, you searched for your phone and, with a courage you hadn’t felt in the longest time, you typed a quick message to Mason asking if he’d be willing to meet the next day, in the afternoon.

What you didn’t expect was to find him right outside, holding his phone with a wide smile on his lips.

Mason Mount looked as gorgeous as he’d ever been - you could smell his cologne even if you were at least ten steps away from him. Wearing black jeans, and a Dior sweater that made him look breathtakingly gorgeous, Mason ended the distance between you as you felt your heart beating faster each second. He was still holding his phone when he stopped in front of you.

“I literally just texted you back saying yes,” he ran his fingers through his hair and that was as sexy as you remembered. Mason had a beard now, and although he was still young, the wrinkles on the corners of his eyes were more evident now. “You’re the last person I thought I’d meet here.”

You nodded, forcing your brain to put some words together. “You too.” Lie. But you had to make it look like it was just a coincidence.

“You look incredible, Y/n,” Mason said under his breath, his eyes shamelessly scanning your outfit. That same pair of eyes was your favourite thing to look at every morning. Now you knew what Willow meant when she said that Lily and Mason were identical - how could he not notice when they met? “There’s so much I wanna say to you,” he continued.

“Save it for tomorrow.” You interrupted, not wanting to sound rude, and Mason nodded in agreement.

“Can I pick you up around 3?”

“I think we should meet there.” You said, thinking of how suffocating and awkward it’d be being inside a car with him after all these years. “There’s a nice place I usually go with my dau-,” you coughed, watching his brows frown. “With my best friend. I’ll text you the address and we’ll meet there.”

Then, all of a sudden, Mason pulled you into a hug. His warmth against your body melted your heart, and you could feel how his breath deepened as his arms tightened around your figure. “I’ll meet you there, so I can decently apologise for being a complete idiot to someone incredible like you.”

His words were all you needed to know for sure that this wouldn’t be easy.

Was he being genuine, or was he just trying to get into your pants like he did back then? Either way, things were immensely different now, for this wasn’t just about you and Mason anymore.

This was about her - Lily. It was about her future, her happiness, how his presence in her life would have a tremendous impact on how she’d develop and what kind of adult she’d be. Nothing would ever be the same, and there was nowhere to run.

This was going to be tough.

————

BONUS - SOCIAL MEDIA

#mason mount fanfic #mason mount imagine #mason mount x reader #mason mount x y/n #mason mount series #invisible string mm | chapter four

[sarawritestories]

I Wanna Be Yours Chapter 1

Xaden Riorson X Lydia Aetos

Summary: Lydia Aetos Longs to be a Ballerina, her father has other plans, and has conscripted her to the rider's quadrant with her childhood friend Violet. Reuniting with her brother he only gives her two orders. Do not bring up wanting to dance and stay far away from Xaden Riorson. Both of his orders go ignored.

Content Warning: Violence.

A/N: Here is the first chapter I hope you all Enjoy! 🩰

Word Count: 4.9K

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I Wanna Be Yours Masterlist

Ashes. I’m watching my pointe shoes turn into ashes. I can’t help the tears that roll down my face. “Maybe now you will understand that no child of mine will be a performer in a traveling freakshow. My children are riders; they will serve their country with pride.” My Father’s voice grates against my skin as I watch the one thing I treasure most burn my dreams with it. “Come, Lydia, it’s almost time to go.” My legs refuse to move, as the pop of the wood makes me jump.

Hearing Colonel Aetos sigh grates my skin, he’s sending me to my death, with a first-born son like Dain, he didn’t need a second child. Correction he didn’t want one. Yet here I sit to his dismay. His feet move quickly as he places his hand in a vice-like grip around my arm; yanking me from the hearth, I writhe in his grasp as he pulls me away as I see what is left of the pink silk turn black. “That’s enough, Lydia.” He pins me against the wall, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to send a message, “You are going to cross that parapet, and join your brother, you are going to become a rider. Do you understand me?”

I school my face into something soft as if my life isn’t being turned upside down, swallowing the tears. “Yes, Colonel,” My voice doesn’t sound like my own, but my mother’s and my father realizes it too as his complexion pales slightly.

Regaining his composure, “Get dressed, back your rucksack and let’s go we are supposed to be in General Sorrengail’s office in 10 minutes.” I jerk out of his grasp and head to my room, trying to even out my breathing. As miserable as it sounds, I’m glad I will have Violet. The two of us have been inseparable for our entire lives. We are both being forced into the Rider’s quadrant today, at the hands of our parents. I tuck my hand under my mattress and pull out a piece of paper. I sit on the edge of my bed and re-read words I have memorized at this point.

My Dearest Lydia,

My little twinkle toes. I’m so sorry, I had to leave. The life your father leads can feel like a cage. I’m suffocating, little one. I cannot be controlled or maintained like a rabid beast. I’m sorry, I know what this means for you, what your father will make you do when you turn twenty. Just know that not a day goes by when I won’t feel guilty for putting you in that cage to take my place. Just know that I love you and if you get anything from this letter. Don’t stop dancing. Whatever you do, continue dancing through this life. Let dance be your escape from the cruelty Basgiath has to offer. I hope one day we will be reunited, and you will have found a way to break out of the chains that hold you in Navarre.

I love you more than you know,

Mom

Sighing, I pinch the bridge of my nose. Every time I read the letter of my heartaches; she knew that the father would force me into the Rider’s quadrant. Why couldn’t she take me with her? Couldn’t we both be free? Why couldn’t she have stayed just long enough for me to find a way for me to pursue my dream?  Anger bubbles up in my core, why was she so selfish to fucking leave me here, knowing that I would be sharing the same feelings she had.

Not wanting to keep The Colonel waiting I put on a black, long-sleeved shirt and tightly fitted leather pants from an old riders uniform my father found. I fold the note into a small square and tuck it into my boot, not wanting to risk him finding it. Grabbing my bag, I step out of my room that has been my home for seventeen years of my life and meet my father. As we begin to walk, I shut my eyes and I allow myself one more moment to mourn over the dream I will never be able to fulfill.

Violet and I stare up at the tower familiar with the trek we will have to make to reach the parapet, the first trial we will receive before ever becoming a cadet. Violet takes my hand, “At least we have each other.” 

I give her hand a comforting squeeze as we move up the line. “Name,” The lady calls out not bothering to look up from the parchment. Violet moves to talk to the older gentleman as I heave a sigh.

“Lydia Aetos.”

The woman blinks after scribbling down my name and looks up to meet my eyes and I notice the flinch she gives when she notices that they are two different colors. “Are you related to Colonel Aetos?”

I nod my head, “He is my father.” I see Violet is waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, “I turn and look at her. “Have a nice day,” I give her the best smile I can, which in turn might be a grimace as I move to meet my friend.

She is conversing with a taller girl, with dark skin and her hair had been pulled back in small rows of braids. Her brown eyes glimmered with excitement as I came closer. The woman paused and tilted her head at me. “Hello,” I give a small wave, shifting under the weight of her gaze.

“Your eyes.” She begins and my mind starts filling in the gaps with words my father has used in the past.

Ugly.

Disgusting.

Defective.

“Beautiful.” The word shakes me out of my spiral of negativity.

“I’m sorry?” I blinked.

“You’re eyes, they’re beautiful. I have read that some are born with two different colored eyes, but to see the beauty of it in person.” She holds out her hand, “Rhiannon Matthias.”

“Lydia Aetos.” Taking her hand and shaking it a genuine smile creeping up on my face.

“Yeah, yeah, and I’m General Melgren, now move. We don’t have all day.” A man’s voice quips behind us. I turn to find piercing blue eyes and a full head of blond hair; he is wearing a scowl that contorts his face into something heinous.  He gives me a playful wink, that makes my stomach churn, “Let’s go, Princess.”

Not bothering to give him a response, I turned back to my friend and new acquaintance. The three of us begin our ascent up the stairs. The smaller man in front of us- Dylan- keeps babbling about how excited he is to be in the Rider’s quadrant. As he and Rhinannon discuss their dreams and goals, I let my mind wander.

Twirling across the stage, each pirouette clean and precise just as Seraphina has taught me. My tulle skirts billowing around me like a shield. I don’t need to remember the next move, the music seeps into my bones and as if in response my body knows what to do next. I grin as the warmth of all the mage lights, illuminating the stage, kisses my skin. Twirling into a solid form, Large tan hands grip my waist as my partner steps in time with the beat.

We move as one as he spins hoisting me up in the air. I am certain my toes are pointed, and my arms are sharp in an elegant pose. I feel myself being lowered and looked at my partners face, familiar hazel eyes and a toothy grin in plain view, twirling me once more to the crescendo of the music and when my twirls end, He dips me low, my one leg stretched out in between his, the other bent my foot tucked behind my knee cap. His forehead presses mind as my arms move around his neck in time with the end notes of the music.  My eyes close as the smell of Cinnamon, Vanilla waft my nose, as the thunderous applause ruptures through the theater. Lips press against mine and I can’t help the giggle that erupts from my throat.

“Lydia.” His warm voice calls for me.

“Lydia. Lydia.”

“Lydia!” Violet shouts giving me a shove, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look to see that Rhiannon and Dylan are giving me looks of concern. I pressed my hand to my cheek to find them wet with tears. Shit. Violet’s eyes held worry and an undertone of understanding. “You were thinking about him again, weren’t you?” She whispers low enough only I can hear, as our hike up the concrete steps was nearing a close as the daylight was beginning to peak through.

“Yeah. I guess I’m missing everyone a little more today.” It’s a severe understatement that I’m making but Violet has her own things to worry about, no need to add more to her plate.

Violet, Dain, and I grew up together, she is basically my sister in all forms of the word. We have been inseparable, even more so when Brennan died and Dain left last year for the Rider’s quadrant, me, and her against the world we always teased. I never felt that more now, she gripped my hand in hers and gives me a squeeze as if she is thinking the same thing. “Thank you for always being there when I need, you Vi.”

Violet snorted, causing Rhinannon to turn and smirk, I look down at her feet briefly and notice the woman has one of Violet’s shoes and Violet in turn has one of her slippers on her feet. When did they do that? Violet’s voice causes me to face her, “You sound like you’re going to die today.”

“I am pretty sure that was the plan.” I murmur as Dylan and Rhiannon reach the top of the stairs. “He wants me dead, Vi.”

“Too bad. You and I. We are not going to die today, Lydia.” Violet was the first to reach the open expanse of the turret. The breath of fresh air is welcome to the stench of sweat and body odor. The warmth of the sun kisses my skin, a large gust of wind whipping my hair across my face. Violet seeing this her eyes widen. “I almost forgot. In my bag there is a little gift from Mira.” I quickly open her bag and pull out a package with my name on it and a little note.

Hey Kid,

A little gift from your favorite sibling. Don’t roll your eyes, you know it’s true!

Just something that can keep that crazy mane of yours up and to remind everyone not to mess with you.

Mira

Unwrapping package to reveal two long gold hair pins, little gold dragons at one end the pointed end sharp as knives. “I love your sister; did you know that?”

Violet laughs as I shut her bag and quickly put my hair in a tight bun. “You and me both.” There is a pause as we make our way closer to beginning. “I’m looking forward to seeing Dain.”

I roll my eyes, about to retort when a man’s voice, “You ready for the next one, Riorson.”

I pause my movements, my hands still in my hair, looking at the broad chest in front of me my eyes trail up and I am met with a set jaw and alluring onyx eyes, and in the light little gold flecks shine through. I roll my shoulders and drop my hands from my hair. His eyes graze my body and back up to my eyes and shiver down my spine. “Aetos, Sorrengail, you two, okay?” Pulling away from the man’s magnetic gaze, I meet Rhiannon’s stare. I dip my chin in silent confirmation.

“Sorrengail and Aetos?” The low rumble of Xaden Riorson voice pulls my attention back to him. This man is the definition of beauty, his sharp jawline, high cheekbones, even with the scar cutting across his brow that drags down to the top of his cheek bone. His tan skin gleams with perspiration from the midday sun no doubt, and I catch a glimpse a tattoo on the side of his neck that disappears with the neckline of his shirt. The clearing of his throat makes me meet his eyes once more. There is a knowing smirk on his face, and he quirks an eyebrow, “Like what you see, Sweetheart?”

I remain silent and avert his stare. “You’re Fen Riorson’s son.” Violet’s voice sounds from behind me.

“You’re General Sorrengail’s Daughter.” He retorts, “Your mother had my father executed.”

I can feel Violet’s anger bubbling behind me. “Your father killed my brother I think that makes us even.”

Xaden snorts, “Hardly.” That perks my head up, to find his eyes were already on me. He tilts his head his eyes assessing me, like I’m a prize mare, “And you. I wasn’t aware that Dain Aetos had a little sister. He never talks about you.”

I bite my lip the only indication I give that his words bother me, “I can’t say. I’m surprised.”

Xaden takes a step forward and try to focus on the floor once more, “Why’s that, Kitten?” A finger hooks under my chin forcing me to meet his gaze and my heart rate quickens, out of fear or sheer arousal, I’m not sure.

One thing I do know: This man is dangerous.  Yet I fall for his beautifully set trap and answer honestly, knowing I should not give him any of my weaknesses, “No one likes talking about the disappointment in the family.” For extra measure I take a step back, away from his touch and he lets me, dropping his hand.

“Hurry it up. Some of us are becoming riders today.” The ass hole from before speaks, his words grating my skin. A distant scream comes from the death trap in front of me. When looking over to the parapet I no longer see Dylan and my heart sinks. Rhiannon is still moving, and Violet begins to walk across dark storm clouds rolling in followed by a rumble of thunder. Fucking. Wonderful.

Xaden chuckles and I meet his stare, “Good luck, Kitten.” He gestures for me to the entry point of the parapet.

I glare at him, flaring my nostrils, “My name is Lydia.”

He smirks, “I think my name suits you better.”

I don’t know how the dagger got in my hand but the minute I throw it, the steel passing about 3 people before it hits its mark. The dagger sinks into the crack of the concrete a half an inch from the jack ass who has been making smart ass comments all morning’s shoes. Looking back at those gold flecked onyx eyes I give him a wink, “I think you’ll find, it doesn’t.”

The guy next Xaden laughed, “Looks like the kitten has claws. I hope you make it, Aetos,” He nods his head and I begin to walk. The drop of rain pelts my skin the moment I take my first step. When I take the next few steps, the sky opens as rain cascades down. I can hear Seraphina’s instructions in my ears.

Arms out, straighten that back. Get into second position.

I straighten my posture and extend my arms out, placing my feet outwardly giving myself the optimal balance and proceed to move. I focus on Violet’s pack in front of me as I keep moving. I imagine myself on stage, the music once again whisking me away. The low rumble of drums meets the contrasting sounds of the piccolo and various string instruments to create a melody that makes my movements lighter. I trust in my training, my balance, the music that for years kept me rooted. The music drowns out the sound of the rain colliding against the brick. My mind transforms the stage into a whimsical forest, and I am balancing on a fallen tree trunk to reach for my lover on the other side. His smile warm as the lights pressing against my skin. I’m not in old leather, I’m in a white gown with billowing layers that makes it easier to move in when I dance.

I twirl my feet finding purchase on the log once I complete the spin with flawless precision. A smile emerges on my face as I gear up for my flip the finishing move, I need to do before reaching the halfway point to him. I run and leap, my legs flipping over my head with the elegance of a gazelle. Landing with a pointed toe and my arms reaching for the sky my balance slips slightly but not enough to keep me from moving toward my goal. To keep me from returning to his arms. I allow myself a glance at his eyes and his face contorts into something unrecognizable, evil.

“I’m coming to get you, Twinkle Toes.” The voice is not his and I blink as the music abruptly stops and the reality, I am in comes crashing forward. The cool kiss of rain rakes a chill down my body. The voice came from behind me. I turn to find the blonde from earlier coming at me with full speed. The person that was behind me in line is blocking him from me and still is a good distance aways. That does not deter the Blonde-haired menace, as he grips the arm of the girl and throws her off. My eyes widen and my instincts overtake my body and I sprint. I focus ahead of me and try to think of music that would be appropriate for this. Something fast paced with horns and fast-paced drums, trying to keep my mind on anything besides the absolute menace behind me.

I can hear his footsteps thudding over the pattering of the rain and I quicken my base trusting in the traction of my boots. I can see the end and Violet reaching it. The is gaining on me and I have enough distance that I pause, briefly and take the risk I prep for my jump and slip. Regaining my balance and looking back to see he is still far enough for me to recover. I get in position once more and take a deep breath.

I will not die today.

I sprint into a run once more and when I have enough distance I take my leap, my feet pointed, my back arched in perfect form even Seraphina wouldn’t have anything to say. When I land the ground is slick and I lose my footing. Fortunately, Violet is there to hold me still. “Lydia! We made it!”

I nod and turn to the cadet with bright red hair, she smirks, “Name.”

“Lydia Aetos.”

“Welcome to the Rider’s Quadrant, Lydia. That was one hell of a performance.”

I walk further down the steps and notice that Violet winces, “Let’s get you taken care of.” I loop her arm in mine before we are both grip in a bone crushing hug.

“We did it!” Rhiannon beams and she looks at me, “You definitely made a name for yourself, what you did on the parapet was amazing.”

“What did I do?”

Violet blinks, “You’re kidding.” Before Violet could elaborate.

“Name.”

“Jack Barlow.” His eyes meet mine and there is a snarl on his face. The look promises one thing. Trouble. Thankfully he stalks in the other direction

“Lydia.” Only one man’s voice makes me groan knowing a lecture is brewing, I turn and see Dain standing there his mouth formed in a tight line, his eyes shift over to the silver haired woman next to me and his face shifts into shock, “Violet?”

Violet smiles, “Hi Dain,” Dain looked to his left then to his right before he grips both Violet’s and mine’s wrist and drags us away from Rhiannon.

“Dain,” I hiss, “She’s hurt take it easy.”

As if on cue Violet begins to dry heave. “Shit.” Dain mutters as he takes her to a bench hidden in an alcove where no one could see. “What the hell are you doing here, Violet?” As he tucks her head between her knees.

“General Sorrengail, refuses to have a scribe in her family. Like someone else we know.”

“Scribe is a respectable job. Dancing is not.” Dain deadpans and I clench my fist. A hand touches my shoulder causing me to jump.  “What the hell were you thinking, Lydia? Dancing on the parapet like that?”

I blink, and clear my throat, “I didn’t realize that is what I did. I was trying to put myself in my happy place. To keep me from over thinking about what I was doing. My instincts went into overdrive.”

“What you did was showboat and it’s going to cause me problems.” He scowls at me, and I get a good look at him at him, he’s grown a beard since I last saw him. But he still has our father’s brown eyes, and his hair cut short and his curls sitting atop his head. “What?”

“I can’t look at my older brother. I’m fine by the way, thanks for asking.” He rolls his eyes and presses me into a hug.

“Sorry.” He murmurs in my hair as he notices the new pins, “Let me guess.”

“Mira.” Violet, Dain and I say at the same time.

Dain smiles, “They suit you.” His small drops, “You must promise to never do what you did again. There are only two rules that I need you to follow, I expect you to follow them. No talking about dance, or dancing and stay away from Xaden Riorson.”

“Noted.” I rolled my eyes, “Glad to see somethings never change.” Dain sighs and moves back to Violet.

I felt a hand gripped my shoulder causing me to jump, “It’s just me.” Rhi’s voice calms me as she gives my shoulder a comforting squeeze, “I wanted to swap shoes back.”

Dain looks between Violet’s shoes and glares at Violet. “Make it snappy.” He glares at Rhiannon, “Who are you?”

Rhiannon looks between me and Violet, “I am their friend.” She slips off Violet’s boot and sighs in reprieve as Violet removes the slipper from her foot and grabs her boot, which Dain helped her put it on.

“I am a squad leader.” He looks over to me and Rhi. “You two go tell the red head recording names that you three are going to be in my squad. I’m going to help Violet and will be right back.” I nod my head and turn on my heal.

“Is that your brother?” Rhi asks.

“Yup.”

“He is something.”

“Tell me about it.” I sigh

We have been placed in our squads. I’m grateful that Violet and I ended up together and not in Xaden’s Wing. Not a fan of the fact that he is one of my superiors. His eyes meet mine and he smirks, those eyes look at me like a predator watching his prey. He whispers to our wingleader and then. “Second Wing Flame Section, you will be moving to Fourth Wing.” My stomach sinks, avoiding the stare of my new wingleader.

“Cadets, move.” Dain commands his jaw sets the only indication that he is upset. We move to where our new wing is standing as the one that is now apart of Second Wing move to where we were just standing.                 

Once everyone settles Xaden begins to speak. I try to zone him out as best as I can, exhaustion is beginning to take over my body. The adrenaline from crossing over the parapet but his voice rings out, “You all feel pretty bad ass don’t you,” Cheers erupt around me and Xaden nods, “Feeling invincible?” I do not feel that way. “You think you’re worthy of a dragon.” More cheers erupted and Xaden crossed his arms. The sound of thunder erupts.

No. Not thunder.

Wings.                                                                                                                                                

As if on Xaden’s cue a horde dragons’ approach, the noise begins to build as a regal blue dagger tail lands on the edge of the wall as if it’s a perch for them. Her claws dig into the brick, pieces crumbling down under her weight. I notice the cadets around me are frozen in fear. A few were shaking and their pants had dark spots that trailed down their legs. Terror racks through my body but I focus on my breathing.

Thump, Thump

The blood curdling scream of another cadet rattles me as a young man from the first wing runs heading back toward the parapet. The dragons all shift as a few more cadets scatter. I blink and feel hands around my waist tugging me down before the dragons unfurl their tongues and fire erupts from all different angles. The hands around me tug me close to the lean chest and I place my own hands around the mystery person’s, their fingers lacing theirs through mine I squeeze my eyes shut as anguish screams fill my ears and will certainly give me nightmares. The fire ceases and the smell of burnt flesh is left in its wake. The figure behind me moves and helps me up. I turn around hoping I would see Dain’s face behind me.

Thump, Thump

Instead, I am met with warm brown eyes and a goofy grin. A man with tan skin, a curly mop of brown hair and handsome face looks back at me, “You, okay?”

I nod my hand, “Thank you…” I lead of.

He holds out his hand, “Ridoc Gamlyn.”

I took his hand, “Lydia Aetos.”

Before Ridoc can comment on my name Dain turns, “Quiet both of you.” Ridoc Mimics him and causes me to giggle as Xaden continues his speech.

“Anyone still feel invincible now?” He questions his brow quirking as his eyes loom over the entire Quadrant, locking onto mine.

Thump, Thump.

My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. His eyes pin me to the floor incapable of moving. Out of the corner of my eye I see the blue dagger tail moving her head back and forth.  It’s the gasp of the crowd that pulls me from Xaden’s gaze.

Thump, Thump.

 The blues dragon takes a step down and my squad parts to make room for her. Her yellow eyes are looking directly at me as she takes another step forward. Dain’s face paled as he watches on, but its movement to my left that catches my attention. Xaden moves from where he is standing, his face is unreadable. It’s the quaking step of the dragon in front of me and my heart rate quickens as her yellow eyes take me in.

Thump, Thump, Thump

Despite the paralyzing fear, that I may very well die in the next few seconds I take in the creature before me. Her large horns curve on the top of her head. Her scales up close shimmer with various hues of blue and hints of black near the base of her scales, which makes her eyes stand out. Her nostrils flair, it feels like a challenge, as if she is begging for me to turn and run.

Thump, Thump, Thump.

I will not die today. I take a glance at where Dain is and spot Violet right beside him, terror on her face. She knows dragons better than I do, though I know enough, she knows my rate of survival is potentially slim here. I close my eyes and try to keep my breathing even. My heart erupting in my ears.

Thump, Thump, Thump.

I get down on my knees, my hands remaining at my sides. “What the fuck is she doing?” Jack Barlow’s voice carries over the silence that has fell amongst the court. No one else says a word as I bend forward lowering myself until my forehead touches the cool brick, the small grooves pressed against my skin. I close my eyes and I mentally recite different dance positions in my head trying to ease the fear.

Thump, Thump, Thump.

My breathing begins to even out when I feel the warm steam pressing against my neck. I take the risk and lift my head; the dragon nods her head. Is she giving me the okay to rise? Another dip of her head, and I slowly rise to my feet. As I do I meet her gaze once more, it’s just her and I, the world around us since forgotten. The dragon does something to my surprise, she cranes her neck where the tip of her snout touches the floor. She is bowing to me. The message is clear, a sign of mutual respect.

Thump, Thump.

She raises her head but keeps it low as she cranes her neck out for me. I cannot even see her eyes as she comes near and presses her snout to my chest. The chatter amongst the crowd is indistinguishable. I press my hand to her snout, her scales feel like leather under my touch, a smile forms on my cheeks, fear suddenly turning into elation. “Hello, Beautiful.” My voice was unable to reach above a whisper. She huffs in response and moves back to where she was perched before.

Adrenaline must be widdling from my body fast because I grip Ridoc’s shoulder tightly as my world tilts.

Thump, Thump.

I just survived my first encounter with a dragon.

To Be Continued..

Story Tags: @milswrites @eve175 @marvelsmylife @sherayuki @misslady246 @thelov3lybookworm @a-frog-with-a-laptop @randomperson1234sblog @garricks4thwingqueen

#xaden riorson #xaden riorson x oc #xaden x reader #xaden riorson x reader #ridoc fourth wing #fourth wing fanfic #fourth wing #dain aetos #violet sorrengail #slow burn #xaden x oc

[tuliptic]

My Way: Finding My Place in Adulthood

Don’t be afraid, dreams are everywhere, just keep going as I always have, this is my way.

Henlo adults here, this is another reading for y’all. This reading is specifically targeted to all adults: young adults to ease their minds; regular adults to get used to adulthood. Adulthood is really… Something… And this is coming from someone who’s turning 30 soon. I still have no grasp about what I’m doing, how I’m living my life, etc. Adulthood is still scary to me, though I have to say I’m seeing myself getting better and better day by day. Taking baby steps is important, as we all grow from what we experience.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: How am I supposed to move around in adulthood, being an adult? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1: Don’t be afraid, dreams are everywhere

One card to represent you: The World

I feel like there’s some sort of fear and enlightenment here. Some of you have an idea of what you want to do or achieve in your life, some of you know your life purposes, most of you are content with how your life is right now and are just going with the flow. However, all have a certain discomfort in common, which is fear of uncertainty. Most here may have earth influence in your chart, where stability is needed, where you are able to hold certain control over your own life. What if I do this and I could no longer go back? What if I give up my job and pursue something else? You have the answers to these questions, but you’re not ready to take the first step because of how certain you are that things will not go as you planned and hence, you’re in a standstill. (PS: Some of you may be into spirituality as well, and you might be called to use this gift to achieve enlightenment for yourself and the people around you.)

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Four of Wands rx

For some reason, I feel that… You expect difficulties. You don’t expect or believe good things can come to you without lessons or pain. You believe in fairness and balance, that amazing things can only come to you if you put in the effort and work hard. Hence, you tend to not take certain opportunities either because you think you don’t deserve it or you don’t think you’re capable of it. In a sense, I’d say that this way of thinking has caused quite some conflict and tension, not allowing you to enjoy the peace and security you usually like. What has brought you comfort in the past is now hindering you to accept new happiness in.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Seven of Cups rx

Seven of Cups is a card of illusion, but with it in reverse, it is a card of choice. This relates back to the first card pulled, the card to represent you. You know what to do, you are capable of doing it, but there’s fear holding you back. Or maybe, fears. To you, you’re not only jumping out of your comfort zone, but into a danger zone where you have no idea how to manage the risks. Accept your fears, let yourself fall, let yourself fail. Have courage, believe that you’ll still be able to stand up after the fall and grow better from it. You’ll be surprised with what you’re capable of.

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - Death rx

This card here is very self-explanatory: You fear change. That’s it. You prefer stability over anything else, and you fear losing control over what you have. What is yours needs to remain yours. This may stem from insecurities that were caused by traumas when you were younger, may it be people leaving you, or being disappointed by others, or something else. It has definitely affected your thought process, your understanding of the world and your way around it. The first thing that came into my mind was therapy, because there are some deep-seated issues that you may have. You’ll need to identify your fear, the root cause of it, work it out, and step out to try something new, constantly regenerating yourself on the way.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Nine of Wands

You’re resilient. You may not think so, thinking that how you function is just the norm and everyone else does the same. No, you’re different. You have gone through a lot of things and those experiences help you manoeuvre yourself around the present issues, and you learn as you grind through the challenges presented. People may see you as an inspiration with how you manage to not dim your lights through the darkest nights. You need to know that you have a side like this, and that you’re able to encourage others through you being you. Shine. Accept yourself and shine brighter, be the inspiration you’ve wanted to be. You’ll be surprised with how things will fall in place and come to you.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Eight of Wands

I’d say building connections would help you in the long run. Eight of Wands is a card that talks about action, which is… Again, self-explanatory. But what sort of actions should you be taking? In what field? Connections and networking. I’d say most of you have a way with words, or some may even have 3H or 11H placements. By building a web of connections, you’re able to gather information and help from various parties that will help you to get on the right track. Some may even push you towards the direction that you want to head to. Be proactive in making friends, talking to people, and taking the first step. Once you throw yourself out, people will know you and will be able to provide the support you need. And then you can vroom your way.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Five of Pentacles rx

One comforting message here is that difficult times shall pass. You may think you overcame something but there’s more to work on, which you’ll realise that the issue you face is still affecting your decision making as of current. You’ve got to review your past and learn your lessons, know that you can’t afford to stay in this mindset for long. This card acts as a sign that it’s time for you to move from feeling insecure to a more adjusted mindset, which will be prompted when you see new perspectives. You will be receiving messages from your guides and higher selves in various forms. Trust your gut feeling, believe in every reason that makes you feel better.

Overall energy: The Tower, Five of Cups rx

The themes of lesson, growth and replacing things and values that no longer serve you. Liberation will come to you when you move past that phase that’s holding you back. Hmm… Lemme reword myself. This pile gives me the feeling of something promising is coming, but you’ll need to go through the lessons (aka accepting that good things can come to you without your expected cost, it’s alright to fail, the need to find out the root cause of insecurities, etc). Life will present opportunities to learn, and will bring in new people for you to grow together. You know you are loved. If you don’t know it, now you do. Believe it.

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Pile 2: Finally we begin

One card to represent you: The Empress

I would say that you have a gentle energy, you’re the person others go to when they’re feeling down or when they need some advice. You radiate a warmth that’s calming, providing a space of comfort for the hurt and wounded to rest and heal. You are intuitive, tho I have to say that your wisdom outshines it. It’s not just wisdom, it’s not just gentleness, but also a sense of belonging, a place where one returns to. Your intuition is what gives you the ability to see through things, people as well as the unknown. Some of you may have clair abilities, especially claircognizance. 

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Ten of Pentacles

I would say that you expect to build a life, build a family of your own, to be your own source of whatever you want. You do not want to rely on other people for things, especially financial abundance and happiness. You want to be your own provider so that you would feel secure with it, and that you’ll be able to contribute or give out what you have without needing to be conscious of how others look at you. There’s a hint of family themes among this, so it could also be you wanting to be the provider in your new found family without losing your own independence, if this makes sense.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Ace of Swords rx

It’s doable, but it’s difficult. I feel that there’s quite some conflict between you and your family, resulting in you wanting to build a new family or to have your own found family. There’s this tension in you that is blocking a lot of blessings, I’d say. There’s a lack of clarity and undefined goals, preventing you from achieving success and happiness (depending on what you define them as). You will need to review your expectations, to set clear and measurable goals, only then you’ll be able to see your progress and further decide on how you want to proceed or to make changes along the way. Do not try to cover up facts or find excuses. You know that it’s not going to help you in the long run. Face it, accept it, work with it. 

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - The Sun

Optimism is great, but being overly optimistic is not good. You tend to see the good side of things and may end up beautifying them, exaggerating them, or even fabricating them unconsciously. For some reason, I’m also seeing that you may be beautifying self-sacrificial tendencies, or attempt to attract people with your pain. You want to shine, want others to pay attention to you. Some of you may be prideful, but some would use whatever they’re “lacking” to attract attention. Example: Your friends use iPhone, and you use Android. Instead of saying you want to be different, you probably will go with the approach of “people who use iPhones are just keeping up with the trend and thinking that’s the higher end”, when in reality you can’t afford an iPhone. This is just an exaggerated example illustrated here for you to have an idea.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Death

Change is your forte. Some of you may not know it, but some of you do (and perhaps do not accept it). It’s not flexibility that we’re talking about, but more of an open-mindedness along with acceptance. Once you’ve overcome your weakness, you will be more open to listening to what others have to say, and forming your own opinion based on whatever information you’ve gathered (from others, from your own research, as well as updating outdated data). The transitioning phase will be smoother during then, when you shift from the old to the new. Right now, I’d say that there’s still a part of you who’s unable to accept that you’re wrong, or incorrect at certain things. There’s no fault in having pride over your knowledge, but if it is hindering you from improving, then you may need to work on that. 

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - The Emperor

Focus on your goals and what you want to achieve. For you, I’d say, one of your goals would probably be something that’s legacy related, may it be inheriting something (finance, career, skills, connections, etc.) or starting a new legacy (starting your own company, building network from scratch, starting to take up a very specific and niche role, etc.). I would also say that you’ll need to look straight ahead. The Emperor can’t afford to look around, only focusing on the path that’s in front of him where he tread carefully but boldly, carving the steps out for his people to follow (somewhat a legacy too). Do not be distracted, do not easily give in to temptation.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Eight of Cups rx

First thing I’d like to say is that your journey is going to be lonely. It’s not just going on that journey alone, but it’s something akin to a burden or a mission that you can’t tell anyone. You may have tried telling a family or a friend about it, and they don’t think it’s a big deal, resulting in you swallowing the pain alone, no longer willing to trust. The disappointment and disillusionment has uhhhh thicken around you. Think of them as fogs around you, and as they thicken, the more difficult it is for you to see your path. That. Communication with boundaries is very important for you right now, where you can put a balance between the socialisation and exposing yourself thoughtlessly. It’s difficult for some people, where you unknowingly overshare too much. Learn from it, find out a way that works for you. Open yourself to things, allow yourself to be open to inspirations from things and people around you.

Overall energy: Strength, Six of Swords rx

You’re strong, knowing where to go and how to reach your destination. Just that whatever that’s happening around you is preventing you from moving forward. You’re holding a lot of things back because whatever situations you’re in, but your passion and faith in life is strong enough to support you. You are doing your best with whatever you have right now, looking for opportunities in life’s challenges and learning the lessons. It is a difficult time, but have faith that things will turn for the better. Prepare your boat, and once the wind blows, set sail.

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Pile 3: No matter what I’m going my way, to the place I’ve dreamed of every night

One card to represent you: The Chariot

I would say that you’re someone who’s goal oriented. You know what you want and you'll work towards it. I would also say that you may be impatient at times, wanting to achieve things in a short time. It feels like you feel that you're running out of time, especially when you compare yourself to your peers. For example, people your age have been talking about career advancement while you're still figuring out what to do, or your friends are married with kids and you're still single and feeling miserable. You know you're on the right path at your own pace, and you appreciate your days and blessings, but sometimes you just feel anxious about being “left out”. 

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Three of Swords rx

You expect yourself to be healed from your wounds and traumas soon. You want it quick, you want it urgently, and you’re pushing yourself far more than you can deal with at the moment. You probably may have gone through some childhood traumas and you’ve left them as they are. It may be due to the society or environment you grew up thinking that whatever you experienced was normal (Asian families, perhaps?). You thought vulnerability was a fault until recent years, where you learn to accept and honour them, and from there you proceed to heal your inner wounds. You may have thought that once you’re done with Phase 1, you can immediately complete Phase 2 of your healing, and… Sorry to break it to you, it’s not gonna happen that way.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Two of Swords

It feels like you’re asking yourself the question: Am I healed or not? And your answer to it is either yes or no. Which… Is not how healing works. Healing is a process; a journey, not a mathematical equation which is either right or wrong. You may think you’ve been healed but in reality, you may not have achieved that yet. You’re not seeing a lot of things yet, which is why you need to rely on your senses, especially hearing. You need to learn to listen to the whispers of others, may it be your friends or your guides. You are not alone, you have people accompanying you through this journey because you are loved. Healing is not linear, so take your time.

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - The Fool rx, The Devil

I would say that you have expectations and you may think you’re living up to that, believing that you’re better and you live like it. … Lemme rephrase myself: You think you’re alright and that you’re living as how you expect yourself to be when you are not. It’s like you’re putting on a mask to deceive yourself and to show others that you’re doing fine. There’s this saying that you’ll need to fool yourself first if you want to fool your enemy. That’s you. You’re pretending and putting up an act, which will eventually cause your downfall to be greater than what you’ve experienced. Your insecurities are devils in disguise, which you probably know of. Now that you know of this side of yours, you will need to think and use your brain to figure out as you go. 

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Four of Swords rx, Eight of Pentacles rx

I would say that you’re very action based, and you think a lot. One thing that’s special about you is that you know when to stop thinking. Unlike most people, once they start thinking, they spiral into their thoughts and have no way out. You, however, know when to stop and how to pull yourself out from that headspace. From there, you then use that energy and time to focus on earth-themed items, such as career, work, fame, building something, etc. You’re basically the healthy combination of brain and physical energy, making sure both of these aspects are taken care of, working on them when others are still trapped in their heads. If you think that you do not have this trait, maybe you can try it out. I believe all can achieve this, but your pile is able to tap into it easily as compared to others.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Four of Pentacles

Learning to focus on yourself, to put yourself first before others. I’m not sure if you’ve been called selfish for putting your needs above others, but you’re not. You can only share when you have extra/excess, and that’s when sharing becomes something comfortable and meaningful. Remember, you are not supposed to burn yourself to warm others. Let yourself have your own time, build connections with yourself and with others. Collaboration is something that you can work on, may it be work related projects or personal projects. Passion projects are things that will help you redirect your energy, and for you to keep yourself occupied when you realise your thoughts are jumbled up again with the excess energy.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Three of Cups

I would say that you will need to build your own home with people you trust in, with people you’re comfortable with. You may have gone through quite some family trauma, and your safe space may no longer lie with it. Remember, home is where the heart lies. As long as you feel comfortable, comforted and safe, you are home. For some reason, you may have been seen as the black sheep of your family. You have been told that you have great communication skills (may also have 3H placements), and it would be great if you know how to use that skill to its full potential. There’s more you can do with it, may it be drawing people to you, or drawing people away from people who harmed you. 

Overall energy: Judgement, Wheel of Fortune rx

I feel that you tend to judge yourself a lot, or people may have passed their biased judgement onto you when you’ve decided to not go their way. There are also some… Remnants? Of feelings of unjust? You have felt that life was unfair and things have not been going your way. Though you may have put that thought aside real quick cuz you believe in yourself more than what the stars or fate has said. You prefer to take things into your own hands instead of whatever higher beings there are out there, and I’d say that you’re doing a good job with it.

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Pile 4: I admit it now life is a long marathon, the difference is that I set the course

One Two cards to represent you: The High Priestess, The Lovers rx

The first word that came to me is intuitive. You know you’re intuitive and you have used your intuition on a lot of things that came into your life, may it be making decisions or using it to discern those who come close to you with agendas. But still, you probably have some… Troubles with love? Not necessarily romantic ones, but platonic and love towards yourself as well. For some reason, I feel that you may feel called to be a lover. It can be self love, but personally, I feel that the energy here is more outwards, where you are supposed to love others, and yet there’s no one out there deserving of your love. Some of you may have 12H or Pisces placement as well, which may give others an impression of being dreamy or drunk in love. (My logical head thinks so, but for some reason I’m feeling that heart-clenching feel, as well as a sense of loss. Not sure how to phrase it well tbh.)

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - The Moon rx

Weirdly, for some reason, I’d say that you expect yourself to be… Different? You know you’re different and that you may sometimes feel that you are unable to align with how this world functions. Hence, when you feel you’re becoming too “earthly”, you may feel torn, because you expect yourself to do or achieve “unearthly” things, eg: to be a spiritual guru, to do reiki healing, etc. You are definitely one pile that is more prone to the spiritual side of the world, where you’ll often have a nagging feeling at the back of your head when you’re not doing anything of that sort. 

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - The Empress

It is definitely something achievable, that is, if you focus on healing yourself as well as creating meaningful bonds with the people around you. One of the main themes of The Empress is to nurture, which you are called to not only nurture the people around you, but also to nurture yourself. You will also need to be with the right group of friends who will be able to help you flourish (and of course, you helping them as well, as this is a mutual relationship). I honestly don’t know what else to say about this because the message is repetitive, and I think you know it as well. 

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - Two of Cups rx

This card in this position talks about tension, deception or even lack of trust between you and your spiritual side. For some reason, I’m feeling that you are holding too strongly to a certain thought or a belief. It causes stress and fatigue, making you lose hope in the process. Instead of taking a forced “temporary” approach, it would be better for you to reflect on what it brings you, and to let go of past beliefs that no longer serve you. Two of Cups is supposed to be a card of joyful celebration, a union between two parties. You will need to turn the card upright. It’s time to release the old and embrace the new, only then you’ll be able to grow into your very best self.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Six of Swords rx

I would say that one of your strengths is special, because it is not so to a lot of people. You do not let your problems push you, but you work your way with it. See, most people’s first reaction is to solve the problem or to run away from it, but you choose to live with it and rebuild your life around it. There’s a part of you that is unwilling to make your life a mess by running and avoiding the problems. You surrender. Not in a negative way. You surrender the pain and stress, you abandon the old, limiting beliefs, and you live in the present. The best way I can describe it is… It’s like you’re a monk, where you live with whatever that is happening around you. Waves (troubles and challenges) are around you, and you’re on the boat, keeping yourself calm, not bothering with what the world is doing, keeping your calm. It's like you know there's a life after death and that you're working on it right now instead of being present in the current earthly life.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Ace of Wands

Ace of Wands is the first card in the Minor Arcana. What I’m picking up from here is that you’ll need to create a new beginning for yourself. I wouldn’t say it’s The Fool kinda journey, because The Fool’s journey is of meeting people and learning the lessons on the way. Your kind of journey is understanding what you want, seizing opportunities, and turning your enthusiasm into actions. You have an idea of where you want to go, when you want to reach there, how you’re going to move, with whom you will want to travel on this journey. I would also say that it would be a great time for you to filter your circle so that you’ll be able to go on this journey with the least distraction.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Four of Pentacles rx This is a time where you should consider relaxing your mind and remember that you cannot control what others are doing or holding. You know you have enough, and instead of focusing on the action of others, focus on yourself instead and how you can block out the noises. With this done, you will be able to move from a period of control and fear and anxiety to a stage of being more open (and blank). It’s like… Once you are able to clear your mind, those noises no longer mean a thing to you, and you’ll be able to focus on yourself and what you want to achieve. I’m also picking up words like “zen”, “calm” and “enlightenment”. … Yeah the word “monk” too.

Overall energy: The Devil, The Chariot

I am feeling some self-sabotaging themes here. It may sound difficult to accept but I do think The Devil here talks about you, where you’re embodying some traits, thoughts or beliefs that you’re unwilling to let go. Y’know how some things turn toxic when there’s excess or if you hold onto it for too long? That. It’s burdening you and you probably are actively trying to run away from it. I’m having the image of you being annoyed at how you’re not progressing, and you end up flipping the table, scattering all the plans you’ve made for yourself. Probably some big changes are bound. Clear up the space and welcome your spirit guides to show up in wondrous and unexpected ways.

#tuliptic #🌷 #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarot reading #general tarot reading #self related reading #aite another reading here #i finally finished deciphering the cards and have completed this reading #i'll be doing some proofreading (if i have the strength to do so) #hopefully this reading sheds some light or gives you a lightbulb moment to work things out #hopefully you guys had fun with this #cheers

[cloudedgalaxies]

Thinking about how I really want the end of Book 7 not to end in a battle, even though it’d be so cool.

We’ve already seen that Malleus is incredibly powerful, and honestly as it is now, I don’t see a way for the students to be able to reasonably fight him and win. Yes, everyone at NRC is exceptionally powerful, but they’ve commented time and time again how Malleus is on a whole other level than anyone there. We’ve fought him a couple of times now, in and outside of dreams, and it has always ended in defeat.

So then how do we save him? The one way that no one would think of, except perhaps Diasomnia and definitely Yuu—the power of friendship making Malleus willingly stand down. 

Malleus has been alone for the vast majority of his life. Now, even when he is attending NRC, constantly and perpetually surrounded by students and mages, nearly everyone is too afraid of him to approach him. Because of that, when the potential of one of the few people who are near to him leaving arises, he is so terribly scared and sad that he doesn’t know what to do besides force them to stay. He would rather have the people he knows live out their days in eternal slumber and only interact with them inside their dreams than watch them age and fade and eventually disappear from his life entirely. He is willing to be the sole person in the entirety of Twisted Wonderland awake, just so that he does not have to lose a single soul.

That is an incredibly lonely fate, to be the one person left not dreaming. Of course, he can enter their dreams, control them, see them and touch them and live out lives that can endlessly and eternally restart. But that is not the same as being with them in reality. Dreams are wonderful, but they are not real. Some part of Malleus must realize that—that his actions here are condemning him to a future that is so much more isolating than what he thought. And yet, what else can he do? If he restarts time, if he reawakens everyone, they will die. They might hate him. And worst of all—they will leave, given enough time. No matter how terrible it would be to be the only person left conscious in the world, Malleus must believe that that cannot compare to the fate of being left.

So what can we do to stop him? We can certainly try to fight him. We will probably fail if we do. The mages defending the rest of the world from eternal slumber’s reserves will run dry, while Malleus will continue to rule over his domain of dreams, which will only grow larger with every attack and eventual defeat that comes.

Or, perhaps, we can try to save him. Diasomnia, as is, is not doing so well in terms of magical prowess as other dorms are: Lilia’s magic is fading, Silver is spending himself transporting himself and others from dream to dream, and Sebek, while powerful, is still only a freshman. Similarly, Ramshackle can hardly even hold a candle to everyone else: Grim, as much as he boasts, does not seem to be notably powerful (yet), and Yuu has no magic to speak of at all. 

Imagine how shocking it’d be then, if these people, so utterly weak in terms of magic, are the people who are able to take down one of the greatest mages in the world. And they don’t even do it through battle—they do it through understanding where Malleus is coming from and trying to calm his worries. They tell him that yes, people will go, and there is no way to stop it, no matter how much someone might wish for it to be so. But for every time someone leaves, someone will also come. Malleus’ world started with Lilia, and then Silver, then Sebek, and now finally Yuu. Lilia is leaving, and so might Yuu, but that does not mean that they will be gone forever. There will be memories and stories and dreams to last a lifetime, and, while their gaps will never be filled, more spaces will open up to accommodate more people. We’ve seen it through the way that Malleus has slowly come to know more of the student body—his ‘friendly’ fights with Leona, Cater perpetually trying to get pictures with him, learning a bit more about technology through Idia and Deuce…while these cannot quite be called friendships yet, there is something there that can’t be mistaken. And maybe, because the people telling him this are his first real friends and closer to him than anything, he’ll consider it.

Maybe Malleus won’t listen to reason. Maybe Book 7 will end with a breathtaking battle that encapsulates the world’s best mages to overthrow the fae prince—NRC, RSA, NBC, legends outside the schools, and more—and I would be okay with that. But I also think that Book 7 ending in peace, where Malleus takes the hand we offer and steps down from his reign of slumber without any more bloodshed, would be just as beautiful.

#maybe we've gotten more info in jp that renders this stupid but im an en player i wouldn't know with my 55 chapters over here #anyways if it does turn into a giant free for all then here's praying rollo comes into nrc hellfire blazing screaming I TOLD YOU SO #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #book 7 #book 7 spoilers #malleus draconia #lilia vanrogue #silver #sebek zigvolt #diasomnia #twst theories #twisted wonderland theory #cloudedgalaxies

[dearweirdme]

anon abt the dream premiere lives again! idk i don’t rlly feel like the damage control would come from tae? and damage control for what really bc it’s not like they actually did anything other than going to the premiere together and hanging out w friends after? like i don’t think that’s something that needs damage control and i don’t think taehyung would be the one to do that from a livestream anyways? idk like ofc that doesn’t actually debunk tkk at all and ill still believe in them bc if other things but i do find it strange and a little contradictory that they didn’t stay together that night bc jk 100% at his apartment and tae was 100% at his own and we know that for a fact. like from tae’s livestream he had very clearly just woken up and i doubt he left early in the morning from jk’s just to do a live at his own apartment

Hi again anon!

You might be right, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. But, it’s never about what we think needs damage control, it’s about what the company thinks needs damage control. I’m pretty they keep tabs on what goes around in fandom. Dream was huge amongst Tkkrs! And, if it’s something they did on their own (which they have every right to) without notifying BH.. who knows how that would have been received. To non believers it’s just friends going to a premiere, but that’s not what it is to BigHit. To BH this is Tae and Jk taking a risk. The easiest way to fix it is to do a live like Tae’s. It takes no preparation, it’s fast, and it gets the thing done. Let’s not look at damage control as this huge thing that has to be planned and arranged in perfection. It’s best done as something subtle.

Jk went live pretty late. Who knows what happened actually.

But, it’s also possible they actually did just not sleep at each other’s place. I think Tae really had to go to bed and Jk (being a nightowl) might’ve just not wanted to go to bed yet and therefore chose his own apartment.

#taekook #dream premiere

[benbamboozled]

I would actually kind of like the “becomes a doctor and takes over Leslie’s clinic” story…for Damian.

NOT because I think it would be ~ethical~ or idk whatever-the-fuck.

I just really love the concept of Damian having this “I HAVE A BIG IMPORTANT DESTINY” backstory/lineage/bloodline …

…SON OF THE BAT, and all that jazz…

But when he connects with Gotham and the people in it—because Batman should be connected to the people he’s protecting—Damian realizes that he doesn’t actually WANT “his” destiny.

And it’s not about rejecting Batman or his father or his mother or anything like that, but instead about taking what he’s learned and what they’ve given him and shaping it to fit himself.

#Damian Wayne #meta I guess? #obviously no judgment for the people who like Batman!Damian—he’s just not for me. #i mean my dream Damian series is a pretty much entirely ‘mundane’ combo of noir and slice-of-life… #…to contrast his epic background with the regular fucking people that he’s taken on protecting by becoming a Gotham vigilante. #i think also one of the elements would be commenting on the Bats’ (and Bruce in particular) Control Freak tendencies… #and the theme that you really can’t ‘control’ life. #for example: an element of drama could be that Damian checks in with people during patrol/during cases but… #he still has to go to school and do normal life stuff. (or normal for him.) #so during the *day*—maybe one of his ‘people he is friendly with’ has some mundane bad thing happen to them and dies. #like idk maybe an old lady friend has a heart attack and dies. #what do you do when there isn’t an enemy to fight? #just ‘move on’? isn’t the whole reason they do what they do predicated on his father NOT accepting that he should ‘just move on’? #anyway there would also be metacommentary about the nature of comics and that… #…you don’t really have control about what happens after your series or after your run. #or even what happens to a character YOU create.

[velvetjune]

Hiss corrupted Emily Pope: Darling is so dreamy!

Me: She would NOT say that

#trust me it’s because Jesse’s worst nightmare is Emily hating her and having a crush on some guy #control 2019 #control remedy #jesse faden #emily pope #either that or the hiss and/or Jesse think Darling is hot which i can’t deny #tbh I don’t know exactly what was happening in that nightmare #like if it was JUST Jesse’s mind being targeted by the hiss and dylan. or if the others were linked there after being corrupted #but it was interesting that darling and Marshall were both gone from the bureau in the dream #darling being away on a mission and. strangely Marshall being described as sick and absent? #and trench with the before and after of hiss corruption #apologies if I’ve already posted this exact thing. i constantly think of the handful of Jesse and Emily interactions #hmm thinking about it maybe it was hinting at Marshall being corrupted by the hiss soon after the game?

[mushiewrites]

lil concept

dream and sapnap hold george down and tell him that because it’s 4/04 (gogy day), they need to hold him down and give each of his death spots 4 minutes and 4 seconds of their attention 🫠

#lee!george #ler!dream #ler!sapnap #and they write 404 all over his feet too #okay i gave myself actual butterflies thinking of this what is wrong with me #i don’t make the rules they just did it okay i can’t control them #poor georgie 😵‍💫 #mushie concepts / hcs #mcyt tickle #my stuff

[whumpy-wyrms]

i was legitimately fully lucid dreaming last night and the second i tried to conjure up Anton I WOKE UP. WHY

#it was soooo cool tho #a lot of my dreams are in a sense lucid because i kinda know im dreaming in most of them but just #don’t try to change anything and just go with the flow #but last night was cool like i was fully in control of the dream and i was a little ghost flying around #and also everyone was trying to kill me for some reason (and then i legit killed someone in self defense. my bad) #so i like flew away as a ghost and i was supposed to be invisible but it was raining so that fucks up my ghost powers i guess #and i found this really cozy looking cottage and went inside and had to barricade the doors from the mob of angry people after me #and i’m like. oh you know what would be cool. anton should live here #and the SECOND he showed up in the dream i woke up and was PISSED #like every time one of my ocs show up in my dreams is the coolest thing ever but i always wake up right away probably from excitement tbh #because like. my ocs are the most important things to me in the world so yeah i guess i’d get excited to meet them #wyrms says stuff #anton oc

[antimony-ore]

I need someone who would respect my decision if I decided smartphones go in a faraday cage when at home and no bluetooth devices or hardwired microphones at home either. I am really tired of no privacy, or rather an inability to consent to being recorded constantly, and not being able to have conversations without immediately seeing posts about my niche topic du jour

#I just installed hardware that acts like a broken mic to trick my computer into not having a working mic to access #and I’m getting really tired of having to turn my phone mic off forecfully with a privacy app (android) because it keeps coming back on #and when the settings switches and shit in my phone are just there to give you the illusion of control but really it’s just a lie #like what the fuck #idk why other countries even allow our tech overseas #they practically got the whole planet bugged as far as I’m concerned #american police state #If I survive this bout with poverty I will gladly immigrate out of this panopticon #at least other places have free healthcare and education #I don’t think my american dream is achievable or realistic in today’s america and I’ve got a hell of a bucket list #give me one reason to stay here

[katierosefun]

the last of us seems like an excellent show but i fear i can’t watch it bc tell me why i watched the first 30 minutes of episode 1 last night and then immediately had the most fucked up zombie dreams

#caroline talks #weird ass mashup of the last of us and the boys #where i was with the boys #but then butcher fucking VANISHED so I have no FUCKING clue what he was doing #ily frenchie and kimiko the only two who rushed back for me #and then weirdly i had this super power where like? if i concentrated hard enough? i could tell the runners to? stop and go away? #but I don’t think I was me I think I was someone else #bc my dream had a weird? flashback sequence? where I was this little kid #and this stern faced lady was watching me control a group of runners #anyways flash forward to the present and I’m #at this facility and I’m training with a bunch of ? kids? teens? #and they’re joking about how ‘ohhh look i’m a clicker haha’ #and then two of the kids go down to the basement and i follow them #of course they freeze and i look and there are a bunch of runners down there #so I do my thing and slowly draw them out of the basement and towards the exit of the facility #when a bunch of other people in the facility #start to think this means omg the runners are normal now! #and start to grab their kids and leave and I was gesturing for the others to keep those idiots AWAY like NOOO they’re not safe! #but ofc no one was listening and for some fucking reason STAN EDGAR IS THERE #and Stan Edgar just pleasantly smiles and lets those idiotic parents leave #and he’s just like ‘there’s nothing you can do for them now’ #anyways. we close the gates and i stare at the windows and butcher (finally back ig?) tells me to not look at the windows #which is very ooc of him on my dream I think but man. #oh and then my dream has another flashback sequence #of a little girl and her brother grocery shopping with their mom #and in the checkout line the mom starts to show signs of being infected #but only the brother knows #and the sister figures it out too and she can’t look at her mom #and they all follow the mom to the car and sit in the backseat #and the girl just quietly cries and JESUSSSSS YEAH SORRY BESTIES the last of us seems great but uhhhh NIGHTMARES

[cantofworms]

.

#should I write a drblr manifesto ahaha I promise it’ll be super #reminiscent and thoughtful and praise filled ahaha #not at all bitter and angry and overwhelmed and #fucking disgusted at some the weird ass people ahahahahaha #hmmmmmmm should I do that should I should I bc it was an epic time right !!! so epic so fun !!!! sosooooooo girly blogger parasocial girl #girl love everyone’s so nice and kind and we’re all a big happy family pls guys we’re the best !!!! #we deserve to take back the tags we’re all soooooooo normal ahahahaa right !! #we should all definitely live blog and bring hundreds of people to attention of this fucking criminal accusation that has nothing to do w #us bc we know nothing at all like what do we have to lose we’re all secretly aware of eveything pertaining to American law and how libel #work and and and and and and OH you know what we should DEFINITELY DO is ask BLOGS what our moral stand point should be !!!!!!!!!!!! #pack it up guys hari said dream bad and she knows him so much she’s basically his pr manager ahahaha #so silly but actually this random Girl behind a screen w a blog dedicated to mcyt should for sure be giving us constant updates of shit that #can’t be proven with thousands of other forces at play that !! we have no control over !! and never did !! and never wil !!!!!! #ahahaha also VERYONE needs be talking about this and doom posting and throwing around serious terms cause it’s not a big deal ahahaha !!! #dtblr is only three girl bloggers in a trench coat nothing matters and while not influence OTHERS on their opinion in the matter !!! #who also don’t know Jack fucking shit !!!!!!! same as us !!!!!!!!!!!!!! #surely this will have no remaining impact at least not on myself which is all that matters :( #I miss the community sm :( I can’t believe literally everyone is still here just w slightly altered blogs :( #but at this was a wake up call for me ahahaha I’m stepping back I was soooooooo crazy back then ahaha #so happy I realized #my evil ways and I can only better from this situation now god bless #anyway now I will go on and continue to post sad memes on my Beand New Blog and missing and mourning things…… #hashtag sad hashtag girl #OH and also maybe repent my sins a little thro reblgoging someone’s else’s manifesto woopsy !!! ahaha #I don’t agree w %100 of op but this is how I’ve been feeling !!! #I definitely over reacted and contributed to a mass echo chameber of extreme anxiety and toxicity which will forever stain a large majority #of an alresdy massive fandom that’s constantly under hate !!!! oh well ahaha #at the end of the day things will never be the same….. did you hear me I SAID the community while NEVER come back #people are SMARTER now and wil CONTINIE to post their THOUGHTS because what we need more of is GIRL BLOGGERS OPINIONS because there’s NOT #enough to go around tag limit these r my thots if anyone cared ahaha ^_^

[cherrysnax]

I once heard that dreaming about someone constantly means that they’re thinking about you. Maybe these people miss you too?

kneejerk reaction is that I hope they’re not thinking of me tbh

#is that the truth? I’m not too sure. I just think it’s be easier to be okay with the concept of everyone forgetting me forever than to sit #with the mortifying possibility of being known and remembered #I don’t remember my hs self fondly so I don’t see why anyone else would yknow #I was already kinda convinced everybody hated me before I vanished so I guess. if ppl are thinking about me it’s negative #it’s scarier if it isn’t lmaoo #I don’t know what’s wrong with me #but yeah I don’t think it works like that nonnie or at the very least I hope it doesn’t <3 #I think I’m just a weird guy whose brain is trying to hold on to idealized memories of the past because he’s afraid of growing up #n wishes they had the insight they do now back then. if I had known I was a nb lesbian dealing w massive comp het #if I had known abt the bpd I could’ve realized that I split on ppl and myself #i was so excited to have friends and be cared about man #I hate that little guy I was but I don’t blame them for being stupid and not understanding shit. I wish I could slap my younger self on the #back of the head and be like “’be normal dumbass ur friends like you’’ #I uhh often focus on hurting myself more than not hurting the people around me and it was rlly bad back then #asks #nonnie #this is all to say that I think that the constant feeling of instability and academic stress is causing me to subconsciously wish for the #the days I perceive as being easier. it’s a mishmash of real events and things that possibly could’ve been if I was normal #I believe I want a feeling of control or something? idk. idk that contradicts everything #dreams are just dreams. I’m probably just regretting how much of senior year I lost and that’s it