#i don’t know what else to do lmao

[scorpionsandhoney]

You’d be the spoon, dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you🍯🌞

5.24.22

(Do not remove caption or you’ll be blocked✨)

#listen #i know my poses are always the same #i don’t know what else to do lmao #self✨ #daylight #lyrics #tattoos #sun #summer #girls with tattoos #girls with ink #art #gold #red #green #pose

[kiwimura]

miles/gwen are so ekko/jinx coded I just couldn’t resist

#across the spiderverse #spiderverse #miles x gwen #gwen stacy #miles morales #arcane #jinx #ekko #jinx/ekko #jinx x ekko #crossover #art #new artist #artists on tumblr #I don’t know what else to put here #just tell me what do you think #they’re literally the same people lmao

[yourlittlettoy]

Alright, it’s long overdue but let’s finally get a lil intro post going ☺️

Hi everyone!! My name is Cece 💕👋🏻 it’s so very nice to see you here 🥰😉

My pronouns are she/her 🎀 , I’m in my 20s 🙆🏻‍♀️, I’m bisexual 🤝🏻, and I’m a… lee 🙈 (18+ only on this account pls and thx ☺️)

T-wording (yeah yeah I can’t say the t-word, sue me lmao) is certainly my main kink, but I may or may not also have certain other “preferences” as well 😳 but you’ll have to find those out yourself if you were so inclined ~

I’m a shy gal, despite sharing more than a reasonable amount of traits as a typical golden retriever lol. I’m very nerdy, enthusiastic, curious to a fault, certified member of the good girl’s club 😇, and have so much love 4 u 💖💘💗!! However, unfortunately for you, even the love won’t stop me from being a serious pain in the butt. Consider this your warning ⚠️😂.

Last thing I really want to mention, is that I am not good at being consistent when it comes to responding to messages/asks. I just want to make it clear right now that: my response times or responses at all (or potentially lack thereof) does not reflect a lack of affection and/or enthusiasm towards getting to know you, valuing you, or appreciating your interaction! I truly am so thankful for each and every one of you that take time out of your day to reach out/interact with lil ol’ me 🥺 and in a perfect world I would be responding to everything and everyone with full attention and time devotion! I just also lead a busy life outside of Tumblr and often time is simply scarce. Please grant me this grace 😊 and believe me when I say I LOVE READING ALL YOUR INTERACTIONS whether I have a chance to tell you that in a response or not! Thank you for this treat even though I can’t always reciprocate 💞 (feel free to double/triple etc message to keep yourself at the top of my inbox if you really want a response tho! Cause believe me I wanna give it to you! So the frequent reminder helps!)

Anyway, if you made it all the way here, thank you for reading my intro post!! Welcome to my blog! Hope you enjoy your stay here 😚💝 stay lovely ✨💫⭐️

#intro post #omg I kinda just typed what I felt like typing here #let me know if there’s anything else you wanted to know about me? #or anything else you think I should have included here? #I can go back and edit it as we go! #cece speaks #about me #sorry the part about response times was literally so long lmao #kinda overtook the introductory part of the post XD #but it was a big issue on my heart! I really do care about you guys I don’t want you to think I’m ignoring on purpose or smth #so here we are! #love you guys! #hope this post helps!

[last-in-line-for-hell]

// n$fw

Wei Wuxian loving being manhandled, loving riding Lan Wangji because it’s the position Lan Wangji hits him deepest, Wei Wuxian producing his own slick, teasing Lan Wangji that their “everydays” will lead to Wei Wuxian getting pregnant, him acting like a total brat to get Lan Wangji to snap and be as rough as he can…I love this ridiculous brat of a bottom.

#n$fw / #kinda #mdzs textpost not art #these are canon btw not even joking #Wei Wuxian is 100% a bottom and it makes him so ridiculous jsjkd #I could make an opposite post about LWJ tbh him literally getting harder inside WWX multiple times #being so rough with WWX and tying him up whenever he can #not even joking it’s really lovely to see them have such compatible preferences #even more healthy because they consider otherwise for a second before deciding not to because they don’t wanna #esp lwj djjdjd #idc what everyone else says or likes whatever you do your thing #but I find these two endlessly endearing in their blatant preferences not only in the general but also the more specific #I could write an essay on it and I’m not even being hyperbolic LMAO #ANYWAY just a draft I had that I was hesitant to post as people tend to suck but you’ve all seen my profile bio you know what I’m about #I also straight up don’t know what tumblr’s system will allow or not lol

[sweetandglovelyart]

Knightfall in Dream Land - Page 4

Meta Knight shares what it was like to grow up being raised by Nightmare.

#Kirby #Kirby fanart #my art #comic #Meta Knight #Nightmare #sorry this page took me so long to finish I’ve been really busy with grad school stuff and was at a conference last month #but it’s finally here and page five shouldn’t take me as long to finish as this page did #the comic is mostly centered around the game lore and not the anime lore but I did borrow a little bit from the anime #this might be a dumb question but do any other Kirby fans have voice headcanons for the characters? #by voice headcanons I mean what do you think they’d sound like if they had voiced dialogue #for Meta Knight and Dedede I think they’d just sound like they do in the anime since those voices are so iconic lol #I know that Nightmare also speaks in the anime but I don’t really like his anime voice #I’m showing that I’m a Trekkie with this lmao but my voice headcanon for Nightmare is that he’d sound like Ricardo Montalban #Montalban died in 2009 but he was famous for playing Khan in Star Trek he was so good in that villain role #but that was in the 1960s and 1980s so if you aren’t a Star Trek fan you might not be familiar with him #he also plays the grandpa in Spy Kids though and I think he was also in Kim Possible #I actually see a lot of parallels between Kirby and Star Trek lol but maybe that’s just me and no one else sees it #I’m developing an idea for a Susie redemption arc comic that I want to draw when I finish Knightfall in Dream Land #and if I do eventually draw it it’s going to be very heavily influenced by Star Trek/there will be lots of Star Trek references in it #Planet Robobot as a game basically is just a Star Trek episode lmao it has the same plot as every Borg episode from Star Trek #so I think referencing Star Trek in a comic centered around Susie would make sense

[nat-seal-well]

It might be time for me to look for something new

#all of the people I’ve worked with for years are leaving #we’re down to other leads #and our assistant manager is a bitch who no one likes lmao #and she’ll be the only manager in our department who isn’t new #she’s vindictive and petty and keeps trying to tell me I’ll lose my days off #(which are the days SHE wants btw) #but I’ve been here for 8 years I’ve never been anywhere else #and I don’t know what I want to do change scares me 😭

[unnerving-presence]

i realize a lot of people tend to over-characterize wesker and completely disregard some of his main personality traits. (long post that’s not rlly organized read at ur own risk lol)

i’ll often see videos/edits about him and a lot of people will say something along the lines of

“he’d instantly kill me” (read this on a thirst post LMAO)

“he’d threaten to kill me if i ever spoke to him”

“wesker would kill all of us if he found out we were simping for him”

and that always really confused me? knowing wesker’s character i feel like people would know he doesn’t kill people unless he really has to. there are few moments where he does kill and they’re mainly because he has to/has real reason behind it.

in reality, he likely wouldn’t kill you instantly, especially if you simply weren’t a threat. who cares if you simp for him? he sure doesn’t. even if you were a threat, he’d send out other people to take care of you first and if he had a confrontation with you he surely wouldn’t take you seriously (i highly doubt y’all mfs know how to fight i’m sorry 😭)

you wanna know why wesker fought chris in the first place? he thought it was amusing and didn’t even take it seriously. the whole time he just messed around, clearly not trying to kill him. he literally tells chris he has 7 minutes to fuck with him like he’s got a strict schedule. dude was not taking any of that seriously. he took a phone call because chris and sheva were so irrelevant to him. they were considered ‘threats’ but clearly not enough to him for him to really care. he has enough confidence in his own abilities to know he could take care of something if they really posed a threat to him.

it’s actually surprising how people make out wesker to be this ruthless angry killer who doesn’t put up with anything when in reality he’s just a goofy little comic book villain who has the zoomies half the time.

we have visual proof of a wesker simp trying to fuck him (excella) and him simply using them before killing them. keep in mind he put up with her for 5~ whole years.

moral of the story, no he wouldn’t threaten you or actually kill you the moment you spoke a word to him. that’s seriously out of character for him and i’m not sure why after seeing him in so many games that people will automatically assume that he’d do that. he’s capable of fighting but clearly prefers to use his charm.

#plus he’s fucked like #who’s to say he wouldn’t fuck all of us huh (i’m delusional) #it’s funny how people overestimate wesker because it’s not in his ability to do anything else #it’s literally just for when he encounters people #i remember seeing a commend on yt like ‘if wesker met jake he’d kill him’ #like jake isn’t his SON and doesn’t have his genes ?? LMAO #why would he kill the person closest to him in genetics when he’d likely survive if infected with uroboros #yes jake isn’t particularly fond of what he did #but wesker doesn’t even know jake either #and when he does find out that’s his son why would he just get rid of that potential ?? #sorry i just don’t get why people think he’d instantly kill people in any situation #it doesn’t make sense considering he’s super good at manipulating people and using them 🤷‍♀️

[starlightandmagic]

Listen, LISTEN, what makes Kanej such a compelling and unique ship is that they IN FACT don’t need skin on skin contact to love each other. They don’t need what other couples have to feel how they feel or to show their affection for each other. They have so much trauma and issues they have to deal with but that does not stop them from being willing to try to be together despite their struggles. They can barely hold hands but that does not erase the yearning and the love and devotion they so clearly feel for the other.

Kaz is willing to try to put himself together for her. He shows he cares by giving her everything she ever wanted: her freedom and her parents and a ship to hunt slavers.

And Inej canonically states she doesn’t think she could ever have a normal relationship with anybody else, she doesn’t want that, she’s not made for that life. What she wants is Kaz being willing to try to open up for her. The “I will have you without armor” is not about her wanting him to remove his gloves for her and give her physical affection. SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IF SHE COULD EVEN HANDLE THAT.

What she wants is Kaz being willing to try for her. If she was going to make herself vulnerable and open her heart to a relationship with him she needs him to meet her in the middle. She knows what she deserves and she was not going to try if Kaz was going to give her nothing but his usual emotionally repressed self.

That’s it. It’s not about skin on skin contact, it’s not about Inej needing a man without trauma to fulfill physical needs she cannot even handle just yet because she was the victim of human trafficking and repeated SA in the Menagerie. And I DESPISE the writers for completely erasing that aspect and daring to imply something between Inej and Tolya. Tolya who canonically states he has no interest in romance, who literally says his books and his poetry are more than enough! That one writer with their stupid IG post, I swear they don’t have even the most basic understanding of these characters and what make them so unique and special. LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED FOR A LOVE TRIANGLE WHERE ITS NOT NEEDED STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT THIS INSTANT!

#kanej #shadow and bone #six of crows #sorry for the rant but that ig post literally made my skin crawl #how dare they?! #even if it was just a stupid plot device to make kaz jealous like lmao have you met kaz?! do you even know him AT ALL?! #that man would 100% give up if he thought Inej would be happy with someone else #like we’re talking about the man who bought a whole ship for her to leave even when he desperately wanted her to stay in ketterdam #knowing damn well she might not ever return #if he thought Inej was happy with someone else #he wouldn’t even try he’d just brood from a distance and try to convince himself it’s for the better #he is so self deprecating he would instantly be like: you know what? yes she deserves so much better and he can give her everything I can’t #like srsly if that is the direction they’re going with I don’t want it thanks they can have their garbage bye #inej ghafa #kaz brekker

[kyluxtrashpit]

So I really want to get another cat. Thing is, there’s several reasons why it’d be a good idea (boy has a playmate, I think my ideal number of cats is 2, and give a kitty in need of a home a nice one) but also a lot of reasons I know it’s not a good idea *right now*

First reason is I’m not sure I’m fully ready for it. There’s still a part of my brain that hopes that this new new cat (I’m gonna need another system when I do get one lmao) would act more like old cat and I’ve had enough pets to know that’s a red flag that means you’re not ready yet. It just leads to disappointment when your new pet doesn’t behave like the old one when they were never going to, every animal is a unique individual and no two will give the same experience even when they are similar. And I know this. But the heart still wants

Also two cats, especially when one is brand new to the living situation and is still adjusting, is more work than one and for several reasons my energy lately has been pretty low. So. Am I up for that right now? I’m not sure. I’m sure I could rise the occasion if it’s needed, but like. Would it be a good idea to put myself into that situation at the moment? I’m not sure it would be. Even if I do miss having two cats a lot

There’s also the matter of living situation. Last year I was hoping to move, as I’m getting to the point in my life where it is time to Purchase a living space instead of rent. Which is terrifying tbh lmao, but it is a thing none the less. Plus I just really want a bit more space at this point, and certain conveniences (oh how I long for my own laundry devices) that I don’t currently have. But with old cat, that just didn’t end up being in the cards cause my babies are always my priority above all else (the financial hit also didn’t help - I’m only just recovering from it now). I was simply not going to move while she was old and fragile and dying of cancer

However, my province also sucks! And it recently decided it’s gonna suck even more! Not as much as most of the US, at least not yet, but. It’s not promising. And the long term prospects are also Not Great (both in terms of social things and economically as well like, things are probably going to get worse long before they get better, if they ever do get better). And my city isn’t *the worst* but it’s more expensive than ideal. So it’s like. Do I want to buy a place here? I don’t know. But do I want to move out of this province? I also don’t know

Cause moving adds a lot of factors, even if I stay in the same province but look at a cheaper city. And leaving the province, okay, which to go to? This one’s nice but expensive and has weather I don’t like, and that ones cheap but also there’s a decent risk things will get worse there politically. And then there’s a risk the whole country will get fucked politically next year but I am doing my utmost to not worry about it until it is actually an immediate problem

And then there’s factors like, all the people I know are here (even if I’m bad at seeing them a lot). Familiar grocery stores and restaurants, other amenities, hell, my internet company is not fully national last I checked - will I have to switch providers? Work isn’t an issue as I work from home and we have people in multiple provinces, but like. Literally everything else is. I’ve lived here my entire life. I don’t know what it would be like to move that far. I’ve never done it

(And there’s also like. A sort of political responsibility. I read a lot after the shitty thing was announced and like. Some people are leaving. Some are staying because fuck you, bigots will not drive me from me home, I will fight back. Some are staying because they can’t afford to leave. And some are staying because if everyone who can leave does leave, then who’s left to at least try to fight this shit for those at risk who can’t get out? Especially as while I’m not in the demographic currently at risk, I’m in an adjacent one so it’s like. No, I’m not at risk yet but it’s possible I will be some day, but I also do feel some level of responsibility to try to help those who are currently at risk because I’m not)

And my dad is planning to leave (though unclear how firm that plan is right now and unclear exactly where) and is like ‘well come with me’ and I’m gonna be honest I. Don’t really want to like. I’m in my 30s. There is a part of me that feels like it’s time to get a bit more space from my family. My mom moved already for other reasons, so I don’t physically see her often, but technology is a thing so. Quite frankly my parents are both really bad at having friends so being literally the only person one of them knows in an entire city is kind of a nightmare scenario for me lmao. I need my space. I get annoyed when I get texted too often, I am NOT going to be your sole social contact. And I know that’s what would happen if we both moved to the same place with no one else. And even without all that, we have differences of opinions in “ideal place to live” so. I know they’re (dad goes by they/them) going to try to pressure me but if I’m sure of anything, it’s that I don’t want that

And, to circle this all back, there is also my kitty boy: he does NOT travel well. At all. He has panic attacks in the car that leave him panting and screaming within about 1 minute of being in there. We are trying to work on it, given transport is important for vet visits, but progress is slow. I was thinking he might have to get the old gaba just for me to be able to move within the city. He’s an anxious little guy. It’s gonna be tough for him, both the general realities of moving and the driving to the new place part. And I originally wasn’t really thinking of moving anywhere out of a 20 min or so radius of where I currently live partly for that reason

So to move to another province (and please remember Canada is Huge, like, this would be several hours or even multiple days of driving), I don’t know if I can even do that in a way that’s safe for him. Drugs are an option, but depending on where, it could be an unfeasibly long drive to do that with. And god, planes, I can only imagine how much worse he would be on a plane (even though I’d NEVER let him ride in the cargo, I’d buy an extra seat if I had to). He could have a stress-induced heart attack and die and if this is in transit, I’d be powerless to save him and I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing I killed him

And so with all of that, I’m like. I really can’t get another cat until I know wtf I’m doing and implement that because it would be awful for the new kitty if I got them and then immediately moved somewhere, either close or far. I can’t do that, it would be cruel. So like. Idk, I just don’t know what to do

I’m also aware that like. There are two problems in this ramble and the one I opened with is not really the larger one lmao but like. Genuinely I do not know what to do and that’s scary so I’m just kinda frozen here thinking how nice it would be to have a second floof gallivanting around the apartment but also knowing I can’t really have that right now (unless the cat distribution system decides to give me no choice in the matter lmao but I’m not expecting that to happen)

#this is a long ramble but I am just #I really don’t know what to do #and I’m trying my best to just. idk ignore it for now and hope something will happen #that will make the decision obvious #but right now I just don’t know #so. ramble time lmao #cause even though it’s a low key anxiety by my standards #it’s just kinda sitting in the back of my head at all times and I just feel stuck tbh #and I really really do want to get another cat #but I can’t make that decision until everything else is sorted and I’m mentally ready so #I cannot have another fluffy baby yet :( #I’ve had this drafted for a while but I’ve been thinking about it off and on for like. months honestly #text #misc #shut up nerd

[kookies-cookie-ao3]

Rating: E | SPRING OF 1990 by Dimi_Stan (Kookies_Cookie) — me!

Summary:

Eddie and Steve realize they’re ready for a baby. They also get pretty silly when it doesn’t immediately work out, but whatever.

Tags:

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Steve Harrington, Alpha Eddie Munson, slight angst, but like barely, Vaginal Sex, Masturbation, Pregnancy Kink, Breeding Kink, Bottom Steve Harrington, Top Eddie Munson, theyre trying for a baby :p, Porn with Feelings, Idiots in Love

Note: My works are locked from readers that do not have Ao3 accounts.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie a/b/o #omega steve harrington #alpha eddie munson #steddie smut #stranger things #stranger things fic #I’ve had this account forever but never cross posted my non-kpop fics #a friend suggested I do so my works will get traction so uh #hi? if there are any fellow Steddie a/b/o writers out there I am waving like a kid #ao3 #don’t know how else to tag this lmao #I don’t know what I’m doing lmao I tried to share from ao3 and it didn’t really work so #I’m trying my best #wtf ever #bottom steve harrington #top eddie munson

[r7iverett]

man. how I js wanna be an animal or smth.

a dog who can run around outside and do tricks that impress people and snuggle up on someone’s lap. a house cat that can climb trees and jump around and sleep whenever and claw at scratching posts. maybe a fox that can run through forests and see pretty sights and possibly even be taken care of by a human.

to be an animal would be a dream.

#mist’s thoughts #/pos #totally okay to reblog! in fact it’s quite encouraged (/nf tho! do what you wanna lmao I don’t mind) #otherhearted #therian #therianthropy #<- I actually don’t know if I’m a therian or otherhearted (or maybe even smth else) so I’m adding both tags. #otherkin

[ohfallingdisco]

Happy June! Here’s Will being out, Argyle existing, and Jonathan having several heart attacks:

El and Will half-jokingly make plans to go back to Las Vegas to follow through on their evil plans (rob every nightclub), and Jonathan suddenly won’t drive them back. Will pouts at his brother right there in the Wheelers’ basement, where he’s come to pick them up, and tries out the excuse. 

“It’s because I’m gay, isn’t it?” 

And nearly every party member has a heart attack, while Jonathan just stares back, heart sinking as he remembers the time. 

“Yes,” he sighs, bouncing Argyle’s keys. He left him upstairs, what is he doing? Surely Argyle wouldn’t…? 

Will was shaking his head at Jonathan solemnly, putting an arm around their sister. “Don’t listen to him, he’s nuts,” he confides, leaning in. “He should definitely stay your least favorite brother. Loser.” 

“Can we go?” Jonathan asks El, trying to make it back with at least one of his siblings tonight. 

She gazed back with big eyes, and for a moment, he thought he had her. Who’s the loser now? 

But then, slowly, she was shaking her head. “I’m sorry.” His stomach dropped. “Can’t go with mouth breathers.” 

Will threw his head back, cackling brightly, just as Max lunged forward off the couch to offer a high-five. 

Jonathan’s eyes slid past them and their babbling, and he noticed Mike staring at the back of Will’s head, seemingly deeply entranced. Of course. Had Will made that joke around here yet? He grimaced, casting his eyes up. Where were your people when you needed them. “Listen, we’ll talk about Vegas at home. I don’t want to break the law just because—”

“Oh, come on,” Will scoffed, letting El go and stepping over to his side. “Coward. Can I drive?” 

He thought about it. He was tired. “Argyle’s van,”  he remembered, tapping his brother’s arm. “Get a job, Surfer Boy.” 

Will grimaced, sighing. Somewhere behind him, Mike tried to cover up a strangled noise with a cough. 

Jeez, he didn’t mean a real surfer boy. He shot Mike a look, because ew, but Mike flushed a deep red as soon as he caught his eye.

‘I’m not gay,’ he mouthed, like a liar. Jonathan rolled his eyes to tell him as much. 

“Come on,” he commanded, grabbing Will’s shoulder to push him along. Their sister grabbed their bag and waved as she trailed after. 

Finally, finally, he made it upstairs. And then, Will, walking peacefully in front of him, stopped. Jonathan nudged his back, trying to give him a push, but he just reached out to brace his hands on the doorframe. 

Will glanced at him, over his shoulder, and whispered, “Look.” 

So he craned his neck, and did. Oh. Shit. 

Argyle was currently sitting right next to Ted Wheeler in the living room, gesturing at the TV playing an opening scene of Cheers, and talking animatedly about it. “—Just, the song said, if he wants to be a girl, would you or not call the husband a she? But then, they would be a lesbian. So, then, maybe he just wants to be a—”

Ted Wheeler looked extremely uncomfortable with the way Argyle was pressed to his side, but to his credit, he did mutter, “Yes, I suppose so.” 

“So you agree that he’s a boy-girl!” Argyle said happily, but then squinted at the ceiling. “Or else—”

“No, he could be a male lesbian,” Ted agreed quickly, trying to subtly nudge Argyle off. It didn’t work. “Or a female husband, I suppose.”

“Yeah!” Argyle decided, folding his hands over his stomach. Holly looked up from the floor, grinning and giggling. 

Jonathan was floored, but enough was enough, and he pushed his way past Will. “Hey, buddy, let’s go.”

Argyle sat up to look at them. “But—”

“We can turn it on at our house,” El volunteered, cocking her head with interest. 

And at this, Argyle stood up, beaming and pointing at her. “That’s the idea, brochacho!” 

Together, the two of them wandered out of the room, discussing the mechanics of the line further. Jonathan shared a look with Will, and both brothers hurried after them. 

They were almost to the door when Mrs. Wheeler called out, “Wait!” 

Jonathan grit his teeth, closing and opening his eyes, and turned around with a smile. “Mrs. Wheeler!��� 

She hurried over from the kitchen, sweeping Will and then El into a hug, and pressing two bags of cookies into their hands. “Congratulations!” she said, beaming, and Jonathan was a little dumbfounded. 

They had had to tell her about the Upside Down, last month, before the final battle, but ever since she found out about his siblings’ powers, she had been keeping up with their progress mastering them and running an over-enthusiastic support from the sidelines. 

But then, Argyle said the line that made him reach over and jerk open the door: “Is it because you know he’s gay?” 

“Okay!” Jonathan cried, shoving his best friend out. 

Will snickered, smiling. “Thank you for the cookies, Mrs. Wheeler.” 

“Of course, dear!” 

And until the door shut, Jonathan could not let out the breath he had been holding. 

Next time, he thought, looking at her car pulling up, he would just ask Nancy to drive them home. 

#jonathan byers #will byers #mike wheeler #argyle st #el hopper-byers #this is such a crack ficlet i don’t know what else to do with it lmao #byler #byler ficlet #pride month

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[brainrotdotorg]

The reason I don’t make a lot of very insightful posts about studying characters and the world they’re in is because I don’t know enough about jean everything I have to say about Harry and Kim has already been said I feel like I don’t have as much to say about the student communists because I am a bad communist who hasn’t done any of the required reading (lmao) my only thoughts on the RCM as an institution arent very well-developed (and also are through an American bias of what police are like rather than how they exist in Elysium) and I don’t know fucking. ANYTHING about the innocentic system.

But I sure can tell you a lot about the skills and piss/fuck. Which isn’t actually a lot but boy I can tell you

#also I am afraid of. expressing opinions sometimes lmao…… #tbh I don’t think I’m smart enough to do deep character dives into their pasts and motivations and whatnot #i feel like my own biases cloud who the haracters actually are too much #i have to learn how to not let me headcanons influence who these guys actually are #because I’m really bad about that lol #i also just feel like I don’t know enough and everyone else knows a lot more than I do!! #like people are saying shit that happened in the game and I’m like. what I never saw that #symptom of being a fan of suuuuuuch a massive game #anyway this isn’t about me talking down on myself or anything #just like. an explanation as to why I don’t get way deep into lord stuff #i find it very interesting and love reading other peoples posts #but I don’t think I should make big grand sweeping statements about things I feel like I’m just pulling out of my ass. yanno #in case you were ever curious about why I never make those kinds of posts #you probably weren’t. but #lol

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can #barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty #I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such #bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry #he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭 #sanchoyorambles #I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN #GIRL MY PUBBY #if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now #he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑 #which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL #screaming. #and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects #im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault #I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away #they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!! #they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭 #remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧 #my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby #it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari!! it’s been way too long since i last dropped by!! i’ve missed you!! how are you?? 

now that spring’s here, i’m lugging in a GIANT basket of flowers of all kinds for you 💐🌷🪻🌹🌻🌸🌺!! + a curious sel question!!! — what’s your favourite thing to do during spring? what do you think bokuto's is? (or whoever is your hq fave!! tho i think i remember bokuto!) 🥺 

SELLLLLLL HI THERE MY ANGEL <33333 pls never worry abt when u drop by hehe, i’m always happy to chat w u whenever!!!! :33 BUT I MISSED U TOOO and ofc i missed ur lovely sel questions …..

i’m putting allll the flowers in pretty vases and sending u a giant heap right back 🌸🌸💐💐🌷🌷🌹🌹🌻🌻🌼🌼 anddd some fruit 🍊🍓🍎🍐 !!

as for the question !!!!! hm hm HMM i honestly think i just loveee going on walks…. nothing beats spring walks imo (autumn walks r a close second tho >:3) it’s just so lovely to stroll around a bright green park…. grab a milkshake from any cute stores i pass…… and seeing the flowers and the bees and everything is always so lovely hhh i can’t wait for everything to bloom :’3

AND AS FOR HQ … bokuto is a cutie but not one of my faves sadly 😞😞 MAYBE ONE DAY THO i’m a big fan of suncoded men so there’s a big chance honestly….. BUT for this question i’m just gonna go w nishinoya bc he feels like a very springcoded boy compared to my other faves !!

i think . :3 he ALSO loves spring walks…… loves to run around like a neglected golden retriever and explore cute little nearby towns <33 would love to pet any dogs he meets and maybe feed a couple duckies <333 i just feel like he LOVES the warmer seasons and gets sm extra energy that he needs to release….. he rlly is like a little puppy i love him sm :((( ANDDD i know he loves ice pops so i think he would just be FEASTING on those and i would be right there w him . we would have a popsicle eating competition and both end up w stomach aches <33 yeah. just fun little spring things!!

but with that being said... as protocol (and my curiosity) demands ….. what abt u sel 🎤🎤🎤 u very much strike me as a spring girlie so i need to know allll ur favorite activities <3 anddd for the hq guys … what spring activities do iwa and oikawa like ?? what would u all do together ??? :3

sel i am sending u all my sunniest vibes ☀️☀️☀️🍊🍊🍊🌻🌻🌻 i hope it’s starting to get a lil warmer and brighter where u are !! ty for checking in as always <333 and have a cute lil picture of ur boys as a treat… look how cute they are aaaa 🥺🥺

#i still don’t know the hq boys very well LMAO but noya feels like such a springboy to me!! #he’s the type of bf to wake u up early in the morning just bc he noticed some flowers in up backyard <333 love him so dearly. #i’m so soft for him sel….. rlly didn’t expect to love him as much as i do but . he’s noya!! he’s perfect!!! what can i say … #wanted to answer the question w tsukki and kuroo too but they both lowkey strike me as homebodies…… #as for ushi … i cant. rlly come up w an answer for him 😭😭 i love him but i can NOT think of an activity for him wow . #what i will say (now im just ranting in the tags but what else is new) is that daichi loves listening to the birds chirp outside :33 #and kita lovesss spring cleaning obviously. lives and dies by it. also goes to the market and grabs the freshest veggies and fruits <33 #my malewife #ILY SEL i hope u’re having a lovely day or night so far!!! mwah mwah <33 #ask tag ✩ #sel !! ✩