#i don’t talk to her anymore

[bpdohwhatajoy]

People really underestimate my ability to fuck off when I feel like my presence isn’t wanted or valued

#ryan.txt #bpd #borderline personality disorder #I used to be awful at this #I’m getting better #wait till I’m at my full potential #to my ‘friend’ who started shit with me when I just cared about her well-being #who ignored me for an entire day #who pretty much only talks about herself #who I can’t even tell that she upsets me bc she always acts in a way that triggers the hell out of me #who can go awhile without talking to me #who after not even saying anything tried to hit me with the heyyyyy #who takes my presence and care for granted #yeah fuck you #and fuck you to my other ‘friend’ too #like don’t even get me started on these two I’m so fucking done #I hardly have any friends anymore and the two I’m closest to suck #good friend era when (it’s never happening for me)

[bookinit02]

genuinely i think if i have to see taylor swift’s name one more time i’m going to start breaking things.

#i liked her casually as a kid #and i still like a lot of her music now #but i can barely even fucking listen to it anymore bc she is EVERYWHERE #like literally i don’t care about her and i don’t care about travis whoever #and i don’t even care about her in a negative way like i don’t care if she’s selfish and narcissistic and a performative activist #and her jet emissions or whatever #bc literally 90% of celebrities are like that she’s not special #i am just so tired. of people ALWAYS talking about her #and being expected to have an opinion and be up to date with whatever meaningless drama is going on #genuinely no hate to my friends that like taylor bc i don’t mind that #it is more just like. Everywhere #i cant even go on tiktok without seeing her name 300 times i cant DO THISSS #ok. rant over. 😭

[goatsghost]

i don’t understand how baldur’s gate expects me to romance any other characters because ever since the nautiloid ship, shadowheart has had me fully wrapped around her finger, i will do absolutely anything this woman asks

#i won’t kill laezel but it’s a very close thing lol #i’ve put her in time out back at camp bc i don’t want to talk to her anymore #baldur's gate 3 #shadowheart #mine

[midnightsslut]

I'm really hesitant to say this but I wonder if part of her (now) feels that at least towards the end, her rs with joe was darker than a lot of her past relationships. and she's had a lot of extremely dark extremely traumatizing past relationships 😭

yeah i'm not hesitant to say this at all anymore. we have to understand that her relationship with joe was a completely different order of magnitude in terms of seriousness. having someone that you thought saved your life when you were at your absolute lowest/weren't sure if you would even survive turn out to be the man that's killing you with his apathy is brutal. she put 6.5 years into that relationship and wrote about it over the course of half of her released discography. do you guys really think she would've left and salted the ground behind her if things hadn't turned traumatic in a way that no amount of concessions could fix? she literally just mashed up a love song about him (which she previously paired with call it what you want, no less) with would've could've should've. she essentially said she regrets him in spite of everything.

i honestly think the dissolution of their relationship and what it turned into might be the greatest pain of her life. i think a lot of fans will be shocked by the level of darkness on TTPD, because we still don't know the worst of it.

#wcs #ivy #ttpd #idk i'm floored after this combo #will never censor my thoughts about him again lmao #would've could've should've #also anon I don’t mean to sound critical towards you I just. don’t want to mince words when talking about him anymore. #I don’t care if we thought they were good together years ago. he absolutely fucked her up in a way no other relationship has #because it was essentially a divorce

[v-a-l]

My favourite detail in OOTP is when Harry finds Sirius at the dining hall Crookshanks is curled up in his lap. Like he’s surrounded by people screaming at him about “Dumbledore’s instructions”, not allowed to go outside cause the ministry and Death Eaters are gunning for him, he’s being called irresponsible and reckless and he’s brushing it all aside cause boy does he know how to deal with people screaming at him in this house, any regardless: he’s still got Crookshanks. He’s got Buckbeak and they remain Sirius’ first and last line of defence

Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry.

Harry did not mention his vague suspicions to Sirius, whose cheerfulness was evaporating fast now that Christmas was over. As the date of their departure back to Hogwarts drew nearer, he became more and more prone to what Mrs. Weasley called “fits of the sullens,” in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak’s room for hours at a time. His gloom seeped through the house, oozing under doorways like some noxious gas, so that all of them became infected by it.

#Sirius Black #one day I’ll write a thesis about the constant ableist language used to address Sirius in OOTP #one day we’ll talk about JKR passing judgement on trauma and coping with it through fifteen year old Hermione #one day I’ll talk about how OOTP is so severely unempathetic to Sirius #It’ll forever remain ridiculous to me that Sirius of all people is the story’s biggest example of tell don’t show. he’s not irresponsible #he’s not selfish #yet we’re told so #again and again #by Molly and Hermione #and it’s consistently in a patronising arrogant way from people who could not even hope to understand what he’s been through #I think it’s particularly telling that no one offers to HELP Sirius. to do anything. in OOTP #JKR’s ableism in her language and connotations with the way people speak of Sirius says So Much #her tell don’t show works consistently against her in that the narrative validates Sirius. #in the end he is right. but it doesn’t matter anymore cause he’s dead

[quietwingsinthesky]

the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?

to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.

#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they #already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that. #but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did. #and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe. #but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people. #a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part? #but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt. #anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here #theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never #escape. #i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord. #but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s #physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering… #but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong #its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know? #i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond #their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!! #what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly* #human!!! #enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one. #does that make sense?

[hydesjackiespuddinpop]

The idea of Bonnie being a d*lena shipper makes as much sense as Stefan being a k*aroline shipper.

#tvd #anti delena #anti klaroline #I don’t even go here anymore but #dria’s tvd posts have me thinking #I remember when Caroline was vocal about her de hatred #people were calling Bonnie a de shipper talking about how much they lurvvvved her #when a few episodes back they were shitting on her for calling out damon in 4x04 #and with Stefan to me it’s flat out ridiculous #Stefan is in love with klaus why would he want his boyfriend and best friend together?

[folklorianhaze]

apparently this has to be said to some people in this fandom but uh guys maybe repeatedly tagging taylor & taylor nation in your tiktok think-pieces about the end of her six year relationship is… not a great thing to do 🥴

#taylor swift #toe breakup #I don’t want to talk about this anymore after this post #and the people who have been leaving flowers at her old apartment……YIKES #I understand being sad and absolutely people should feel their feelings but at a certain point these behaviors are inappropriate

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔 #the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’ #and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃 #i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc. #it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person… #caseyposting

[politesocietys]

kamala being murdered in the spider-man run just so she can be reborn as a mutant with her purple powers from the mcu in the comics vs kamala being added to the y*ung av*ngers roaster and being friends with kate in the mcu…. we’re in HELL

#payel talks #im going to change my ur/I soon bc…. i kind of don’t want to be associated with all of that anymore #dude she’s my favorite marvel character pls stop doing her dirty

[deus-ex-mona]

series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨ #and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate #so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah. #thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou #i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh #compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol #i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help— #so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig #my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa #i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control… #b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you #tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao #so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol #but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato) #so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though #either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane #i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date… #at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration… #…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig. #oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far… #i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience. #help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m. #anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee

[theprestigegirly]

that girl in my english class that i hate forced me to send her all of my notes on an hour long documentary that she didn’t watch

#okay don’t read tags unless we’re friends bc lowkey vent under tags #personal #she literally leaned over me and forced me to send them #why am i doing her fucking hoemwork #she’s such a fugly bitch #she’s so clapped she’s such a mean bitch #i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her #i hate her i hate her #she’s such a munter she smells like so..? bodyspray #i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her #I HATE HER #SHES SO MEAN #SHE ROLLS HER EYES WHEN I TALK #SHES THE WORST #IM CRYING ON THE BUS #I CANT GO TO CLASS ANYMORE #I H A T E HER #actually sobbing on the way home #she’s so horrible #she’s way bigger than me too #she’s 6 foot and i’m 5’2 #and she hangs out with the scary kids that do drugs #i’m really upset about it she makes me hate my favourite class

[mysicklove]

just found out that one of my followers that was HEAVILY interacting with my account and even dming me is 12 years old! 12 FUCKING YEARS OLD! kill me 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗☺️☺️

#🔪 - mello talks too much #i’m disgusted. #i don’t want to be mean bc she is a child #BUT WHAT THE TUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU #WHEN I WAS 12 I WAS SMARTER TAHN THIS SHIT #she made up a fake story on why she had to block me so i went on my secret account and looked up her account #and her navigation post says she is 12 #i can’t even explain to u guys how i feel #(i had a feeling she was lying tbh so i tried not to interact with her too heavily) #but what the fuck. #she made up a whole story about her life #the internet is a scary place #i don’t trust anyone on tumblr anymore 😭😭😭😭 #i can’t explain to u guys how traumatized i am

[deadandphilgames]

:(

#KILL ME ITS SO MUCH FOR SHIPPING 😭 #my last signed copy was ‘borrowed’ by someone I don’t talk to anymore and she’s still not given it back #despite me asking her to ship it back to me last year and her saying yep will do #so im like. do i buy the signed one

[footnoteinhistory]

My childhood best friend who I grew apart from just posted a video on snapchat and she’s laughing in the background and I realized I haven’t heard her laugh in well over a decade. So I’m now having a very normal morning

#whenever I see those webweaving posts about childhood friends I’m like ha yeah sure whatever! #can’t really relate idk I don’t remember being a kid that well I don’t think about it that much haha :) #and then I think of her and. ouuuggghhhhh #she moved away and we just gradually stopped talking. no bad blood at all #we’ve chatted here and there she told me to stop by next time I visit roc (!) I hadn’t even realized she lived there now #but I have this horrible terrible fear she wouldn’t like me anymore. completely unfounded. just a worry #and I can’t bring myself to really reach out and reconnect bc what if it’s true. what if she rejected me. I think I would die #why do I think I’m so unlovable #what the hell happened #gd. I need to eat something

[divinemiracles]

I find it strange with how so many people say that Luz is the “people pleaser of the show” and ignore Willow completely.

#toh fandom critical #Luz is not a people pleaser #A people please is someone that does their hardest to make everyone happy even at their own expense (usually out of self-esteem issues) #I hate seeing all of those videos that say things like ‘Look at how much stuff Luz is’ and half the things ARE NOT what Luz is #Luz does many selfish acts FOR HER OWN BENEFIT then fixes them (at least pre-S2B but we don’t talk about that) #But Willow is the friend that does everything she can to make her friends happy while secretly bottling up her emotions until she finally #cracked and couldn’t handle it anymore #I’m a people pleaser and I hate barely seeing any content discussing Willow’s people-pleasing habits.