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brshxots · 6 years

Text

bleh

Thursday, 15th of February 2018, 15:30 pm

Hi.

I am a terrible writer. At least I am really bad at keeping up but I had a reason. This past week I am just proud of me that I somehow managed to get out of bed every day for work.

My energy level this past week was lower than low but it is finally Friday the 16th of February2018 4:36 pm (when i started writing this again) and there are only 1,5 hours (It is Saturday, 6:24 pm while editing this post lol).

Now I only got one hour left, it was a very busy day, now it`s quite quiet actually but my energy is gone again, not too bad tho. I guess I just want to go home.

Gosh, every week more I can feel myself getting more and more desperate for the weekend. And every week I find myself not beeing able to do everything that I`d like. I started seeing my friends every weekend tho. Well, I started doing something with at least one of my friends every week, so I at least have got one good habbit recently.

Uh, this reminds me of a thing that happened not too long ago. I was just thinking „I wish I had more time..“, so literally like two weeks ago, me and my collegue friend were walking in the city to go to DM (drugstore) and suddenly this normal looking guy directly stood infront of us until we stopped. He then asked „Really quick, if you only had 10 seconds to answer, what kind of superpower would you like to have?“, looking into both us intensly af, I kinda without thinking answered: „wanting to con..troll.. time..?“. He immediately focused on only me, kinda unconciously ignoring my friend to my left behind his back, starring into my fucking soul at this point. „Why is that? Do you not have enough time?“ I just shrugged and was like „… guess not..?“. then he moved, let my friend back into the bigger picture, asked if we had time rn. We looked at each other (it was our wayy too short lunch break), we felt the nanoseconds running by just looking at each other. We said no, not really. The guy was just like „K.“ and suddenly, just like he came to stand before us, walk away between the two of us leaving my friend like „Loool“ and me like „Whattf. What the hell was that??“.

My friend asks herself now too what he actually wanted from us; 3 possibilities:

-he would have granted us to have the superpower we adored (My friends would be to be able to beam herself)

-second, that he wanted to ask us to split a trainticket and drive somewhere

and lastly

-he wanted to hook us up and have a threesome in the end.

I still dont know and i don't know if any of the three are plausible, I still think he may have been a student asking strangers for a anonymus poll or sth. Lol, who knows.

It`s still bugging me though.

Anyway, I got so much to do today and I am so excited for it!

I first and foremost (after working out, cooking sth and eating that sth) want to finally edit the video of the8 i am talking about forever now. (Didn`t end up doing it, might do it today)

I got a new software that finally works, I figured it out at least a little with the help of my best friend (who will probably never read this but thanks, love u bitch!<3) and I only have to figure out how to speed up a clip and have to add and cut the music ofc. But other than that, if I sit down properly it will only take me one or two more days. Before I will post this one tho, I think I wanna start the bit I have of my Joshua drawing so I can plan a little ahead. Oh btw, once I have enough speeddrawings I plan to schedule them once a month or once every 2 months, depends on how much time I will have these upcoming weeks, but I think I will soon be able to have more.

I mean, I bought a fancy camera (Canon eos 750d ^^) and I wanna plan an art exhibition where I work, so for the exhibitions sole purpose I would have to draw and paint at least 20-30 pieces that I plan on recording ofc. Gosh I am so excited. I mean I am kinda too scared to ask my collegues if i can hold an exhibition but I am really excited about my ideas and the things that I already came up with.

Hmm, I just gotta think about how much I will have to pay for all the frames and stuff, I maybe have to print some stuff aswell if I plan to use some of my digital paintings that I will have until then or my photographs and stuff.

I think I`ll stop for today, I got like 20 minutes left.

I`ll maybe post this and on pixlr and 500px later.

C Ya. 5:31 pm. (-6:32 pm)

#dailydiary #DailyUpdate #diary #log #thoughts #bts #mymind

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ibelily · 7 years

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Problem

This is based off a text post by @cradledbykeith based around a different fandom:

Lance jokingly: you're not allowed to fall in love with me

Keith seriously: won't be a problem

Keith after a week: T H E R E S A P R O B L E M

I have no idea what fandom it is, but I saw it and immediately had an idea, so I unashamedly turned it into the inspiration for a prinxiety fic. Enjoy!

Also, shoutout to @prinxietyhell for reawakening my fic writing by inspiring me with their amazing stuff !

Word count: 2129

Trigger warnings: mention of potential self-harming

“We have to WHAT NOW?!” Anxiety shouted incredulously, while Prince shared a similar face of shock.

“You heard me, Anxiety” Logic insisted, pushing his glasses further up his nose with a finger.

“It’s the logical decision. Prince’s project is a big one, and you working with him will help him stay grounded and make better decisions”

“Logical, my as-” Anxiety retorted, only to be cut off by Morality:

“-paragus, a healthy and delicious snack, especially when dipped in hummus!” The other traits stared at him while he just smiled uncomfortably. It was a common occurrence for Morality to stop them, especially Anxiety, from saying bad words, but they were always amazed by what he came up with to cover them. Prince was the first to bring them back to the topic at hand.

“Logan, you know full well that Anxiety and I tend to disagree about, well, everything. It may seem logical but I sense that we will only spend our time arguing about things. I am perfectly capable of handling things myself.” He tried his most charming smile, but Logan wasn’t buying it.

“Yeah,” Anxiety added “I don’t want the extra work, and when he inevitably fails I can look down on him with judgment without an ounce of guilt.”

Logan crossed his arms and stared them down with a hard gaze.

“No, I’ve made my decision. Unless you’d rather take it up with Thomas himself, who is rather too busy for this right now.” Logan stomped off, taking away all possibility of continuing the discussion. The pair looked to Morality for help, but he just shrugged and said “Sorry kiddos, but I’m with Logan on this one. Who knows, maybe you’ll bond over it” and followed Logan out of the room.

Anxiety and Prince stood there in shock, before Anxiety huffed and grumbled “Pfft, bond. Yeah right!”

Prince chuckled to himself as he threw an arm over Anxiety’s shoulder. “Well, I know it will be hard, but with us spending all this time together you’ll have to refrain yourself and not fall in love with me”. He set a gleaming smile Anxiety’s way, who countered it by pushing off Prince’s arm and rolling of his eyes.

“Trust me, that won’t be a problem”.

*****

A week went by, and Morality was shocked by the peace and quiet that surrounded him. He’d expected Anxiety and Prince working together for longer than an hour to result in shouting matches and Anxiety retreating to his room, grumbling to himself while Prince complained about how having to work in such conditions was cruel and unusual punishment for something he hadn’t done. Surprisingly however, the traits seemed to be getting on better than ever. They could be observed most of the time in the Common Room, discussing an idea one of them had had, or some aspect of the project that needed improving or changing. Once, Morality had even caught them taking a break together, sharing one of the group sofas and watching an old school Disney movie, chuckling at the jokes and singing along with the songs.

Yes, the entire mindspace had a calm aura about it, and Morality was enjoying it immensely.

He was sitting on his bed in his bedroom, reading one of his favorite books - Roald Dahl’s Marvellous Joke Book - and giggling to himself when he heard a frantic knocking on his door. He placed his World’s best Dad bookmark in to mark his place, and set the book down on the bed. He opened his door and his natural smile dimmed somewhat at seeing Anxiety standing before him, looking rather disturbed. As Thomas’ centre of emotion he was used to dealing with Logan and Prince’s emotional problems but Anxiety was a rare visitor. He preferred to keep all his emotions under wraps, pushing everything down and denying it ever existed.

Before he could get a word in, Anxiety asked: “Can I come in? I need your help” He whispered the last part, because God forbid anyone know that Anxiety needs help.

“Of course!” Morality answered and he stepped aside to let the younger trait in. Anxiety hurried inside and immediately started pacing around the room, one hand in his hoodie pocket and the other running through his hair. Morality shut the door and made his way to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and patting the spot next to him, inviting Anxiety to take a seat. His invitation was promptly ignored as the trait continued to pace back and forth. Morality waited patiently for Anxiety to start talking, which didn’t happen for a full ten minutes.

“I have a problem.” He finally said, stopping momentarily in front of the father figure, staring at him in need.

“I gathered that kiddo, but I can’t help if I don’t know what it is” He patted the bed again, but Anxiety ignored his offer and resumed his pacing once more.

“How do you deal with it?” Anxiety started rambling “It’s just so … PRESENT! I can’t ignore it, I can’t avoid it like everything else and there’s no way I’m going to ‘accept it and/or do something about it’, so don’t even think about saying that!”

Morality grew more confused as time went on. Anxiety was so wrapped up in his thoughts and ramblings he didn’t seem to notice Morality’s confusion and carried on.

“You’ve got to help me Mo, you’re good with these things!”

“Maybe I would give helpful advice if I actually knew what you were talking about, Anxiety! What are you talking about? What can’t you ignore?”

“FEELINGS!” Anxiety blurted out, much louder than he intended. He sighed and flopped face first next to Morality onto the bed. Morality eyes widened in understanding and he turned to the boy lying next to him.

“Wha- what kind of feelings?” he stuttered. He was so unused to doing this sort of thing with Anxiety that it caught him off guard.

“Bad ones” Anxiety mumbled numbly into the comforter.

“How are they bad?”Morality inquired.

“Everything will end in disaster” Anxiety answered in the same monotone voice as before.

“Anxiety… do you want to h-hurt yourself?” Morality didn't want to know the answer, but knew he had to ask. The other trait’s head snapped up and looked at him.

“No, no! Not that kind of bad! Nothing like that!”

“Oh thank God!” Morality sighed in relief, putting his hand on his chest. “Just tell me what's going on so I don't have to guess”

Anxiety sat up and shuffled around, trying to make himself comfortable but failing as the discomfort came from inside him.

“It’s… Roman” He finally said. Morality waited for him to elaborate but the boy didn't want to say more.

“Well what about Rom- Oh. Oh!” Morality stopped short as everything clicked into place for him. A great grin overtook his face and he couldn't stop the squeal that came out of his mouth.

“Oh my!” he started bouncing where he sat, his hands clapping together as Anxiety looked at him in shock.

“You have a cru-” The end of his sentence was muffled by a hand.

“Shut up, or everyone will hear you!” Anxiety stage-whispered to him, his hand covering Morality’s mouth. The father made an effort to calm himself down and held his hands up in surrender, showing Anxiety he would be composed. Slowly, Anxiety retreated his hand and shoved it back into his pocket as Morality tapped the tips of his fingers together to release some of his energy. Eventually he couldn’t stop himself and he grabbed Anxiety and pulled him into a hug, which Anxiety didn't return but surprisingly didn't pull away from either.

“Well I think this is just super! Wonderful! A joyous occasion for all!” Morality exclaimed, pulling away and resting his hands on the younger’s shoulders.

“Yeah, we'll you would think that wouldn't you?” Anxiety grumbled rhetorically, fixing his bangs back in front of his eyes.

“Oh hush, you two would be so cute together!”

“Well it’s not like I’m going to tell him, so get those thoughts out of your head immediately.”

“Oh come on Anxiety, you’ve got to tell him! If you don’t it’ll eat you up inside forever!” Morality insisted.

“I can live with that.” Anxiety answered, deadpan as usual.

“Anxiety…” Morality warned, not wanting him to resort to sarcasm during a serious talk.

“What do we regret most in life?” he prompted, looking at Anxiety expectantly. Anxiety rolled his eyes, the phrase was one that Morality used fairly often whenever someone didn’t want to do something in an attempt to motivate them.

“The things we don’t do” he answered unwillingly, making a face as he said it.

“Exactly!” Morality continued, ignoring the face. “What’s the worst that could happen?” The look Anxiety shot him reminded him of who he was taking to.

“Never mind. Just go do it, and I’ll help you deal with whatever the aftermath is. I promise.” He held up two fingers in a boy scout salute. Anxiety halted, thinking so hard one could practically see the cogs turning in his head. Hesitantly, he offered up his pinky finger. Morality grinned and grabbed the littlest finger with his own.

Anxiety gave something that could somewhat be construed as a smile, and stood up from the bed.

“Right, I’m going to do it now, no second guessing” He said it with more enthusiasm than usual, and was even bouncing on the balls of his feet in an attempt to hype himself up, like an athlete about to enter a big game.

“Go, go!” Morality chanted, and Anxiety ll but ran out of the room towards the Commons. Morality couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face, and his eyes welled up a little from emotion. His babies were growing up.

***

Roman was in the Commons, typing up some ideas for his Big Project with Anxiety with an old fashioned typewriter. He much preferred the feel of the mechanical keys under his fingertips, and having a hard copy of everything was much better in his opinion. He glanced up at the sound of someone entering the room, and smiled when he saw who it was.

“Hey Anx, I’ve had a burst of inspiration so I’ve been typing non-stop to try to get everything down. Can you read through some of it and tell me what you think? I’d love your opinion on this bit in particular” He gestured down at one of the many stacks of paper piled onto the table.

Anxiety almost backed down from his plan. The way Roman was looking at him, the nickname, genuinely wanting his opinion on something, it all made him melt inside. Taking a deep breath for courage, he put a hand on the prince’s shoulder.

“I will later Princey. For the moment, I need to talk to you about something.” He gestured for the man to take a seat, which he ignored, but rather getting closer to the darker trait.

“What’s wrong Anx?” He asked, seeming worried by his friend’s demeanor.

Anxiety took another deep breath, pushed himself away slightly from Prince and proceeded to what can only be described as word vomit.

“RecentlyI’vebeenfeelingthingsanditfreakedmeoutsoIwenttoseeMoralityandhetoldmetojustgoforitsohereIamandIreallylikeyoubutIknowyouprobablydon’tlikemeandthat’sfineIjustneededtotellyoubeforeIexploded”

Trying to catch his breath, Anxiety looked at the other trait. Roman’s mind was working overtime to try and catch up with everything Anxiety said, but he thought he got the gist of it.

He slowly got closer to Anxiety again, and whispered “Anx…”. The darker trait held his breath, waiting for the inevitable apocalypse.

Roman grabbed Anxiety with one hand on his back and the other on his waist, and dipped him. The other squealed, a sound that was muffled by the prince’s lips on his. After a moment’s hesitation, Anxiety gave himself fully to the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck and responded with all the passion and feeling he could muster for a person who was the embodiment of everything other than such. When breathing became a necessity rather than a choice, the two separated and Roman settled the other back on his feet, keeping a firm grip on his waist. A smile spread across his face and he chuckled as he brushed Anxiety’s bangs out of his eyes.

“See Anx? I knew you couldn’t resist falling in love with me”

Anxiety snorted and slapped Roman lightly on the arm, making them both giggle. They pressed their foreheads together, basking in the glow of a new found love.

Outside of their little bubble, Morality and Logic stood at the entrance of the room. Morality had his hands on his cheeks, and squeaked at the adorableness of it all. Logic just chuckled to himself and leant over to whisper at Morality: “Told you it would work”

#prinxiety #anxiety sanders #prince sanders #roman sanders #sandersides #fic #problem #thomas sanders #ibelilyfics

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