#i don’t want you anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has a low social media market share in South America.

#i don’t want you anymore

icaruspendragon · 1 month

Text

something the women in my family are absolutely flabbergasted by every time it comes up is the fact that i don’t own a scale.

“how do you know how much you weigh??” they cry.

“i don’t.” i simply respond.

“you look thinner, have you lost weight?” they ask at christmas.

“i dunno.” i say as i check on the turkey.

“you look bigger, have you gained weight?” they probe, as if my weight rests on their shoulders.

“i’m not sure, but it’s fine if i have.” i respond with a casualness they cannot comprehend.

“don’t you want to know if you’ve lost or gained?” they inquire over cups of coffee and a plate of untouched cookies.

“i do.” i take a sip. “which is why i don’t need to know.”

“we don’t understand.” they say.

“i’ll drive myself mad if i know. it’s been a question i’ve been looking for the answer to since i was in the seventh grade and my weight was the topic of conversation for the first time; the stretch marks on my calves puberty brought being questioned and condemned. and so i started weighing myself once a day. then twice a day. i gained weight as i grew and was told to stop. i got depressed when i was 16 and the weight i gained was more concerning than the scars on my thighs. the critiques turned to compliments during my first year of college when i’d started skipping meals and my body had to feed itself because i wouldn’t. everyday i stepped on the scale and smiled as i watched that number get smaller and smaller. hunger felt like victory. i started doing drugs that took away my appetite and then my strength. and started feeling guilt when my stomach felt full. and suddenly every time i looked in the mirror i hated what i saw. the more weight i lost, the better i was supposed to feel. each remark on another part of my body lost felt like a slap to the face. i was told i looked good but i knew i wasn’t good enough. and so i tried harder. and then i started to get dizzy when i stood. and i ignored it like i’d learned to ignore my hunger. and then one day at work i dropped like the weight that was never enough after i bending at the waist to grab a milk cap from the floor. and when the darkness faded, i was surrounded by panic as an ambulance was called. and then i was tested and prodded and poked because they thought something was wrong with my heart. and the problem persisted but they never found out why. but i’d known all along. and then i left home and its scale behind. and moved into a new home that was mine. so i bought plates and sheets and art for the walls. but i didn’t buy a scale. then every time i walked down an aisle i’d see the them and pause. and i’d think about the hunger i now kept at bay. and even though i didn’t know how much i weighed, i didn’t notice my body had changed. and i’d think about how i hadn’t been dizzy for months. and how i hadn’t fainted for longer. and then i’d keep on walking. and now most days i like how i look.”

“but don’t you want to be skinny?” comes their quiet response.

“i want to be myself in whatever body i have.”

they stare in disbelief. so i shrug my shoulders, and grab a cookie. and i smile at them as i swallow the first bite.

#trigger warning ed #tw disordered eating #body neutrality i love you !!#the women in my family cannot comprehend that i don’t diet anymore #and that i just eat what i want #and that im okay with the unknown #bc my body tried its hardest to be kind to me #even when i tried my hardest to be unkind to it #and now it’s time to pay it back #throw out your scales!! they’re bad for your mental health!!

1K notes · View notes

yueebby · 3 months

Text

emperor!gojo who is big tall scary man and all of the servants fuss over him and clan elders and enemies alike fear him, but then he is reduced to nothing but a lovesick puppy around you — a servant girl.

#of course you don’t take him seriously…… but he’s awfully persistent #my brother and i had a discussion about the shogunates and i have been obsessed with TAD so :3 #i want to write this out but do ppl even read royal!aus anymore??#kt.fantasies—!

544 notes · View notes

swedenis-h · 4 months

Text

Phoenix Tatooine day trip Goes Wrong™️ (X)

This is a little idea where Luke needs something (don’t ask me what) that he can only get on tatooine, so dinluke adventure ensues. The plan is to get there and leave ASAP, but then nostalgia hits and he needs to hit every shop and place he used to as a kid. But you know, “college kids comes back to hometown” syndrome hits and he realizes he’s changed too much. Think of how the holiday season doesn’t feel the same anymore now that you’re an adult, same feeling. AND YES ITS ALSO DUNLUKE BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO KISS AND TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND ALSO KISS.

Heres some extras 🫡

#and also don’t ask me how I feel being back home for winter break!!#it’s irrelevant!#also tangent about Luke’s outfit:#I wanted it to look a little Jedi but also fit into Tatooine #in the fic in my mind he ditches the cape over time the more he embraces Tatooine again but you know #he’s been Changed By The Journey so he still looks like a Jedi #ANOTHER tangent: his HAIR #I have my usual color for his hair and I change it based on where in the timeline I’m drawing him #more blond around ANH more brown around and past RotJ #drawing him with ANH color pallet and his hair doesn’t match it as nicely… pain suffering I hate him why does he hurt me so bad #HE DOESNT FIT TATOOINE ANYMORE DO YOU UNDERSTAND #okay sorry bye #certified yapper over here YEESH‼️#art #fanart #digital art #fan art #my art #star wars #star wars fanart #dinluke #sw #sw au #star wars au #luke sykwalker #din djarin

337 notes · View notes

ducksdoughnuts · 7 months

Text

Yuta and Yuji just watched their teacher die right in front of them, poor Shoko has literally lost everyone she loves and cares for and when Megumi comes back he’ll face the worse pain knowing Gojo was killed with his shikigami……….I am literally sick, fuck you Gege

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #manga #jjk 236 #jjk spoilers #ryomen sukuna #fushiguro megumi #yuji itadori #yuta okkotsu #screaming crying throwing up #I honestly don’t want to read or watch it anymore #I’m so sick #crying my fucking eyes out #ugly crying #I am not ok #Gege akutami you fucking bastard

560 notes · View notes

radio-venom · 1 year

Text

no. listen. a twin fight is different. you’re the same, you’re nothing like them, you’re enemies, you know each other better than anyone, you will never understand them, you’ve been compared since birth, you’re each other’s oldest companion, you’d kill each other, you’d kill for each other, you’re each other’s reflection, you know everything that’s hurts them the most and you can tear them to shreds better than anyone on earth and they can do the same to you. you are hurting yourself.

#this is about trigun lmfao #apply this to whatever twins you want tho lol #it’s also about me and my twin irl #trigun #yes it was a sibling fight but a twin fight is different it’s so hard to understand unless you have a twin #you’ve been at the exact same stage of everything every moment of your life #you have almost a psychic understanding #you want to kill them for what they did to you or rather what your circumstances made you do to each other #you are both each other and so far removed from each other your relationship to them sickens you #trigun got the twin fight right #nai is dead you killed him killed vash more than actually killing him could #i don’t hate my twin anymore but we tore each other apart as kids #lol sorry kelsey #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #millions knives

1K notes · View notes

chrollohearttags · 5 months

Text

went down the rabbit hole on YouTube of other black ppl who are aromantics, virgins, never dated, etc. and I’m sitting here cheesing so hard bc I’ve never felt so validated. Like it’s not something I’ve ever felt ashamed or bad about and I’ve never had the desire to lose the ‘v card’ or be in a relationship but I feel like sometimes it’s hard to talk to other people about who aren’t and it’s just reaaaally nice to see other people that look like you sharing the same experience.

#I was watching a mommy blogger expose vid #and now we’re here #but it’s so nice to feel validated in ur experience #cherry chats 🍒#aromantic #lgbtqia #like it gets hard when you have friends who talk about dating and sex and you can’t really relate to them #the main reason I don’t talk to many of my gfs anymore bc they’re in relationships and one’s pregnant #and I don’t have much to say #sexuality discussion #cw sexuality #they described everything I was feeling too #not wanting kids #not wanting to be married #and even not wanting to be touched

333 notes · View notes

finntheehumaneater · 13 days

Text

these dirt roads are empty, the ones we paved ourselves (part 2)

part one (important note under the cut)

The Hell-thingy club was held in the theater room, Steve learned. There was a paper sign over the door that wasn’t there this morning. It was very detailed, with no white space, kind of making it hard to look at.

Hard to look at, but pretty.

He was going to knock—maybe ask around and see if anyone knew a girl named Eddie, but the door burst open and a girl stumbled out, sobbing into her hands. She had long black hair that was up in a bun and painted nails, and she nearly bumped into Steve, but he flattened himself against the wall so that she could pass.

“Katie,” a voice called, and a boy with long curly hair rushed out, his hand grabbing at her waist to turn her around. The girl (Katie?) shook her head, pressing it into the boy’s neck as she cried. She was a bit taller than him, but Steve guessed it was only because of her boots.

Steve felt a bit awkward standing there, just watching as the boy ran a hand over her back, the other holding her waist. “It’s okay, Kate, we’ll—I’ll watch Sarah. Okay? I’ll watch Sarah for you.”

“I should have to watch her, she’s—“

“Stop it,” the boy whispered, tugging her into a proper hug. “Stop it, babe, I’ll watch her.”

“Don’t need you to, I’ll just miss it,” The girl sobbed into the boy’s shoulder as he swayed her back and forth. It felt too personal for Steve to be witnessing, and he wanted to try and quietly slip into the theater room, but he was afraid that if he moved he would ruin their moment.

“You won’t miss it, I’ll watch her,” The boy murmured, pulling away and nodding slightly. “She likes me, it’ll be fun.”

“But she’s little,” the girl tried to protest, her voice weak and shaky.

“I know she’s little, hun, I was there when you had her,” the boy pointed out softly, smiling as he took her hands in his. His skin was white where her fingers were gripping it. “I’m like basically her dad, I’ll watch her for you.”

The girl hesitated, before shrugging and looking down. She glanced over at Steve, her cheeks flushed as she shrank into herself slightly, looking down.

“You go back in and tell Jeff I’ll be there in a minute,” the boy said to her, kissing her forehead and gently pushing her in the direction of the theater room door. “I’m gonna say hi to our friend, here.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” the boy grinned as he turned to Steve, his eyes flicking over to the door as it closed before he looked Steve over. “Enjoy the show?”

“I didn’t—“ Steve started, even though he didn’t really know what to say, but the guy cut him off.

“Is there…anything I can help you with?” He asked with faux politeness, and Steve went to grab for his backpack, maybe to grab the notebook and give it to the man—he could ask him to give it back to the girl who had dropped it—when he paused. He didn’t really trust the guy to give it back.

“Just um, wanted to look into the club,” he lied quickly, dropping his hands back at his sides, hating how they felt so useless and awkward just being there, not doing anything. “Hey, is there a, uh, a girl named Eddie in there?”

“Nope,” the guy said, crossing his arms. “I’m the only Eddie in this club. And—hold on, you wanted to look into Hellfire?”

“Hellfire, what...” Steve paused, squinting and looking back up at the paper sign above the door. His head hurt. “Oh, uh. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Right.”

“Okay,” The guy said, slowly. No, Eddie said slowly. This guy was also an Eddie. Cool. “Are you sure you’re not here to be an asshole? Because, look man, respect your jock urge to fuck up us nerds, but like—this is kinda all I have right now, so just—if you’re not actually interested then please leave. I can’t lose this right now, too.”

“I, okay, maybe I’m not interested, but my girlfriend’s little brother likes whatever you do in there….”

“Dungeons and Dragons?” Eddie cut in, tilting his head, which really added to his whole pathetic-cat-vibe.

“Uh, yeah, sure. That,” Steve muttered, shaking his head. “They like it, so maybe you could just—show me how it works. Might help me get him to like me or something.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, tapping his hand against his thigh, and Steve caught sight of a ring on his middle finger, a thin silver one with blue in the middle. “Fine. Sure. Come on in.” He raised an eyebrow though as he stepped back, holding a hand out to Steve when he went to take a step forward though. “If you’re a dick to Gareth I’ll fucking kill you, though.”

“Okay,” Steve said, narrowing his eyes slightly. This kid didn’t look like he could kill him. Probably just throw dice at him and annoy him. Bite his ankles, maybe, he was kind of short.

Eddie opened the door to the theater room, giving Steve a mock bow, his hair falling into his face as his lips pulled into a dry smile. “After you, princess.”

Steve flushed at the name, opening his mouth to protest, saying something like, I’m not a girl, but he just rolled his eyes and went inside. It was really hard to be nice to this guy, but he was going to try. Besides, he had to go along with the lie that he was here to learn about Dungeons and Dragons. For Mike. Even though Mike didn’t like him. And, to be honest, Steve didn’t really like Mike either, but his friends were okay.

The room was dark, a couple of lamps lit but the overhead light off. There was a long table, a throne sitting at one end and a stool at the other with normal chairs on the sides. Eddie motioned for Steve to sit on the stool. The people on the chairs all turned to look at him, and he shrunk down slightly, his backpack held tightly in his lap.

“Hey,” a curly haired boy said hesitantly, and Steve saw Eddie’s eyes linger on him for a second too long, his expression nice and soft like it was with the girl from outside who was staring down at her lap, her eyes still red.

“Hey,” Steve whispered back, offering a small smile. Everyone in here looked scared of him, and that made him feel even more nervous. “I’m uh, I’m Steve.”

“We know,” Gareth said, his cheeks a bit pink. “I—I know, we’ve bumped into each other before.”

Steve smiled slightly, tilting his head. “We did?”

Gareth frowned, shrugging. “It wasn’t a good bumping into.”

“Oh,” Steve whispered softly as Eddie started to talk. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

“Hey, Harrington,” Eddie snapped, glaring again. “If you came here to learn about D&D you’ve gotta listen, man.”

Steve nodded, glancing at Gareth one last time before sitting up in his seat a bit more and trying to look as focused as possible. If he just paid attention he could leave and then find the girl he was looking for tomorrow.

But Eddie wasn’t very good at teaching things. He went over things too quickly, muttering something about how Steve’s head must be filled with so much ‘stupid sports shit’ so he couldn’t concentrate. Steve felt like Eddie was using long words on purpose, ones that he knew Steve wouldn’t understand.

Steve dug his fingers into his thighs, sucking in a deep breath as Eddie went on and on about hit points, a few people butting in to say something but he waved them off. “I don’t—don’t understand—“

“Maybe just fucking listen, then?” Eddie said tightly, giving Steve a strained smile. “Okay, sweetheart?”

“I am listening,” Steve protested, starting to feel a bit pissed off. He wanted to go home with Nancy, he was tired of fucking sitting there. “It’s just—I don’t understand what all of this means, and you’re going way too fast for me to—“

“Go, then,” Eddie said, and Steve fell quiet, looking back up from where he had been focusing on a little figurine.

“What?”

“Go,” Eddie said, his gaze hard and challenging. “If I’m so bad at explaining this, then fucking go.”

Steve say the girl from the hallway shoot Eddie a look out of the corner of his eyes, but Eddie didn’t seem to notice.

“Fine,” Steve whispered, embarrassment creeping up his cheeks as he grabbed his backpack and stood up, the chair falling backwards and hitting against the floor. He flinched. The lights in the room flickered and he took a step back, trying to calm down. It’s just a stupid fucking noise, it shouldn’t scare him. He’s not supposed to be scared of flashing lights.

“Bye,” he whispered to Gareth, pinching at the bridge of his nose for a second as he tried not to cry. This was all so stupid. “It was nice to officially meet you.”

“Yeah,” Gareth muttered, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.

“Bye, sweetheart,” He heard Eddie call as he slammed the door shut, condescending and mean.

Fuck him, he was going to go and find Nancy.

—

hey guys. Sorry this update took so long to do, and that’s it’s short. I haven’t been doing to great, and now with that stupid fucking post that puppy-steve made about me I don’t know when my mental state is going to get better—or when I will be updating next.

All of my friends and mutuals in here are unfollowing me and blocking me because of that post, and I haven’t stopped crying all morning. I feel like shit. If I am a minor that is my own business and no one else’s, but I think going as far is to make up lies about me ignoring DMs to stop interacting with people is too fucking far.

I’ll try to update this sooner but I feel like everyone hates me at the moment so I don’t know how soon it will be. Sorry.

taglist (I hope I got everyone 🩷):

@himbosandhardware

@randombibitch

@eddie4bat-president

@steddiewithachance

@jadeylovesmarvelxo

@precioussteveharrington

@magpiemuseum

@here4thetrama

@estrellami-1

@goodolefashionedloverboi

@anne-bennet-cosplayer

@cherrychapsticksteve

@somegirlsomewhere

@letgomaggie

@myguiltyartpleasure

@theemptinessthatweconfess

@kennahjune

@onemoore

@shessofineliterallyhitmewithacar

@marismorar

@gobbledy-gluk-gluk

#I’m just feeling really bad right now and I don’t want to cry over this anymore because it’s stupid but I can’t help it #I’m sorry you guys are here for fanfiction not drama #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie fic #steve x eddie #My fic #Finn writes #Gareth Emerson #nancy wheeler #Robin Buckley #steddie angst

89 notes · View notes

warlenys · 5 months

Text

wilson is sosososoooo crazy batshit interesting guy who cares so much he can only love someone if they need him. cares so much that he can’t truly love, he can only care. all of his relationships are about him caring so much and giving so much and sacrificing so much being so selfless that he ends up just resenting the other person. house is the only person he manages to be selfish with but however also house is the king of neediness he needs more than anyone and so wilson’s more selfless for house than he is for anyone else. and it’s posited that the reason their relationship doesn’t end is because house’s neediness is so deep and so much that it’ll never end but this isn’t true. in holding on wilson realises that house’s need for him and his selflessness for house aren’t products of his need to be needed but instead products of his love. his love for house. that’s what sets their relationship apart. house is the only person who needs wilson purely out of love and house is the only person who wilson loves purely out of love. wilson doesn’t love house because of his need to care, he cares for house because he loves him. he doesn’t want to fix house he just wants to fuck him. basically

#you need me and i don’t think that’s a bad thing anymore!!!!!!!#he regularly tried to run away from his enabling of house from his selflessness for him #he didn’t want to be needed by him because he didn’t want it to be like all his other failed relationships #but their relationship isn’t built on wilson’s need to be needed pathology it’s just built on love. horror #amber also half fits this but she didn’t stick around long enough to prove it completely lmao #house md #hilson #+

155 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

damarauders-blog-blog

Harry Potter

onergon

Onergon

hsiaoron

Hsiao Ron Cheng

bayankazandra

aymerrumdi

gi4mc

gianna