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#i don't know anything

So I draw this the last week cause I couldn’t trust Emma’s words and I was too scared to let my hopes up but at the same time I wanted the best for my babies (yup they’re my babies, shut up mum I can and I will ship my babies) (btw the drawings are really rough and unclean cause I’m a newbie and English is not my first language so probably there are some mistakes)

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Emma where the f*** are you?? I need answers!!!

(Btw probably you don’t see them but…)

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Omgds they’re so small😂😂😂

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Uhh…shit dude, Idk. I mean, I don’t think it’s anything specific Dare Me did wrong. Different people are going to nitpick about different things, so YMMV. But the most common complaint I saw about the show was that the pace was too slow. The second most common complaint that I saw was that some folks, with the little bit of marketing the show did have and the first couple episodes, thought it was going to be about bullying gone too far and were kinda turned off when it turned out the body was the coach’s lover instead. The third most common complaint I saw was that folks felt like they were being queerbaited since the homoerotic subtext remained mere subtext until the eighth episode.

But I do not think in any way either of those things were why the show got cancelled. According to a couple articles, the USA network moving away from scripted series and toward more reality television was a factor in it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t think shows really have an opportunity to build a fanbase the way they used to because the competition has increased so heavily. So I blame part of it on that. Also, tbh??

I almost feel like Dare Me never had a chance. I don’t think it was on the right network, I think it would’ve reached a wider audience on a more popular network, or possibly even different platform (having gone straight to streaming). I also think it would’ve done better if it didn’t air in the US at 10 PM on a Sunday night. The promotion for it was also terrible. I live in the US where it originally aired, but no one I knew had even heard of it, save for my mom who only noticed, cause as she told me, “it looks like one of those killer cheerleader movies you love so much.”

And it’s not like it had a lot of time on Netflix. It was only on there for a month before it got the axe (this is going back to the way I feel about shows not being given enough time to build a fanbase). And even when it got on Netflix, it wasn’t available everywhere, to my understanding. At the least I know it wasn’t in the United States, cause some of my friends I told about Dare Me, who did want to see it, couldn’t watch it on the USA network without cable (you also can’t use the USA app without a provider), but did have Netflix, and were surprised when they realized they couldn’t watch it after its release date on there.

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Projecting… Again.

Jay’s fingers tapped against his knees, his legs bouncing rapidly underneath his hands.

Garmadon sat opposite him, relaxed against the chair he was sitting in. “Thank you for seeing me Jay,” he began, offering him a warm smile, “I know it’s mandatory, but I appreciate it nonetheless, you are, of course, more than welcome to request someone else.”

Jay shook his head, his fingers now intertwined, his eyes darting around the room. “I– I’m fine,” he mumbled. “It’s cool.”

“Let’s start then,” he continued, “Remember, anything you say in this room will stay in this room.”

Jay shrugged, “Yeah it’s fine,” he mumbled, his hand floating to his collar. He fidgeted with his shirt, “It’s not like I really have anything to talk about you know? I didn’t lose my parents, or my memories, or nearly lose my sister or go to the underworld or anything really,” he rambled, his eyes looking everywhere but Garmadon. “Even being a ninja hasn’t been that bad, a few bumps and bruises sure but we made it out… mostly.”

“You don’t need a disaster to need help Jay,” Garmadon explained.

He shrugged again, “Well sure but it’s not like I really need any help,” he gestured wildly with his hands, “Nothing’s wrong with me.”

“So what?” Garmadon replied, “Jay, there doesn’t need to be anything wrong with you for you to seek help. You can talk about anything you want, or nothing at all, I am here to listen. To guide and offer advice if you need it.” He paused, letting his words sink in, “I am here for you, Jay.”

Jay’s hands stilled on his knees, the bouncing of his leg softening. “But there’s nothing wrong with me,” he mumbled, lowering his head, “You’d be better off helping the others,” his voice shook, “I’m not worth it.”

“Jay, you are worth it,” Garmadon affirmed. “You are always worthy of help. And I will always listen to you.”

“For real?” Jay asked, mumbling under his breath.

Garmadon leaned across, gently placing his hand on Jay’s, “For real.”

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It’s so scarily easy to get into the habit of telling people you’re feeling bad. People always talk about the difficulty of opening up (and they should!), but the opposite is so rarely mentioned: the difficulty of stopping.

Everything can be an addiction. I’ve been thinking a lot about this IJ quote lately, the one that says “Sometimes, words that seem to express really invoke”. I think that’s true.

At what point does weakness turn into a permanent thing? If you talk about being sad a hundred times, does it increase your risk of feeling sad for the 101st time? Can you build a friendship on proclamations of I Don’t Feel Well? What is the point in stating “there’s a thunderstorm tonight” when there is a thunderstorm, plain for anyone to see?

This post sounds like I was going for a series of rhetorical questions, but the thing is, they’re not rhetorical, cause I genuinely don’t know. I have no idea.

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jenna221b replied to your post “I don’t think the world is ready for the mainstream gay in…”

yeah thinking about it, I see where you’re coming from— rn it feels like anything that has a “mainstream” feel still ends up only being appreciated/seen by an already inclusive audience. Tho I’m interested in what you say about the timing thing— do you think any attempt to break through rn will be dismissed??

@jenna221b I had a strong feeling watching Star Wars the other night that had they gone through with Finn/Poe (which they were clearly back-peddling from, but also would never have gone through with in the first place) the general audience reaction wouldn’t have been that positive. I think there would have been wild backlash. Not even necessarily homophobic people, but from anyone who doesn’t live in ‘our’ world. On a mainstream level it would have been met with the opinion that it’s pandering to a small percentage of their audience. And that would have overshadowed any positive outcomes.

And I think this all stems from the extreme black-white way of thinking we’ve got going on at the moment, which doesn’t seem to be doing anyone any favours. We haven’t got room for nuanced discussion about anything, and that’s troubling and tbh totally useless. How are we going to progress if we can’t talk things through with people we disagree with? 

Anyway, my feeling is it’s not the right time because if they DID do it now I don’t think it would be helpful or progressive in the long run, because of the backlash it would be met with. And to me it doesn’t feel like it would sit comfortably. I think in general we have so far to go until we can get to a point where two men or two women being physically intimate in a hollywood film franchise such as Marvel or Star Wars would feel anywhere near close to normal. Picturing it now, if I was sat in a cinema watching Finn and Poe kiss, it a) feels wildly unrealistic and b) I would just be uncomfortable because I’d know that a large percentage of the people watching around me would be uncomfortable.. Does that make sense?

And it’s not just Hollywood. Looking back at TJLC with hindsight (which is always a wonderful thing) there’s no way we (general public) were ready for that. They never would have made Sherlock and John canon at that time, or even at this time, because we’re not ready for it. In theory I can picture it and it looks rosy, but in reality? I don’t see it at all. How do we GET there..? tbh I don’t know. I don’t know what the best approach is, softly softly or rip off the bandaid? Why don’t I feel like we’re anywhere close to being there? is it in my head or is it a justified feeling?!


captainclickycat replied to your post

“I don’t think the world is ready for the mainstream gay in…”

Not bad points, but I suppose my knee-jerk reaction is that we can’t sit on our arses waiting for things to just *organically* happen without intervention. There’s got to be at least some “throwing people in at the deep end” style representation, even if it can’t all be like that. (Does that make sense? I’m being slightly rambly)

@captainclickycat​ I agree, there has to be a break-through moment. It’s just a matter of when and how. If we do it now is it the right time, will it actually make a difference? Or will it cause more division? Is it helpful for queer people to see themselves on screen in a massive franchise film if the other strong reaction is negativity? will that lead to a more progressive society or just make things worse in the meantime? do the majority of people actually care either way? I don’t know. 

I always think of film and media as being the tool to shape a better world, to change opinions and introduce people to new ideas in a way that’s accessible to them. And I still think that, but I’m realising more and more that it’s such a delicate thing to get right. I’d love to know the answer..

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Originally posted by watermelongifs

The logical part of my brain realizes that I’ve never done this job before and I just started so it’s okay that I don’t know what’s going on. The anxious part of my brain however needs to calm the fuck down.

It’s really hard going from 17 years of experience to the point that I’d be pretty confident and probably able to teach others how to do my job even at a new clinic with very little transition period to absolute beginner without a clue.

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I’m supposed to be writing a paper on environmental justice but I’m writing this instead.

Actually, I’m supposed to be reviewing for an exam tomorrow but I decided I should probably just start my environmental justice paper and then I thought hey I don’t understand this reading material that the professor gave us so I should just write about how I don’t know anything. And then here we are.

It’s my last two weeks of university. Last two weeks. Holy shit. I can’t fuck this up now, you know? But the social sciences isn’t my forte and I have to read a bunch of other literature to be able to write a position paper on environmental justice and I. am. just. so. tired. If this was a paper on invasive species, or artificial intelligence, or robots, or anything in the field of science, I would gladly finish this paper tonight. But it’s not, and it’s making me all kinds of frustrated and a little bit angry. 

On the up side, I did well on this social science course for the past four months. I even got a 92% on the last exam, and an 80% on the previous paper. I really shouldn’t be worried about my grades. I guess I’m just worried about sounding stupid. And also I actually want to understand all this material before writing a paper about it, except the language that social science works on is, as I have come to find out, very different from the language that the natural sciences operates under. I can’t explain it very well except that it feels like I’m reading too many social science jargon even though they aren’t even jargon jargon, you know what I mean?

Anyway, maybe I should just go back to reviewing for my exam tomorrow. But that’s easy because I just have to read my notes. Also it’s Book I of Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics and a little about utilitarianism, how hard can it be? 

Adios,

R.

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While I don’t disagree with the strong side eye/criticism of certain breed crosses, but I can’t help having mixed feelings when I see said posts.

My dog is a Corgi x Australian Cattle Dog mix. Experienced dog people in my family and the internet both painted a picture of it being a terrible mix that would have to be rehomed or put down. That any said dog would be an abomination.

Granted, my sample size is essentially one dog big. And our success can probably be at least partially attributed to the fact that I did my homework on both breeds and went into ownership with eyes as wide open as possible. But Faye is a fantastic dog. I’m a first time solo dog owner who wanted a sport dog and by golly I got one in her. She’s incredibly trainable and I’ve lucked out to the point of her being a great service dog candidate who consistently impresses our experienced SD trainer.

I’m not going to pretend we never had/have issues. But they have thus far been worked through with consideration and a commitment to putting in the time and effort.

I don’t know what point I’m trying to make. And I do think it wise to be critical of any breeding pair to ensure both good health and temperament. But when I see those posts I can’t help but be grateful I ignored the prophecies of doom. Our trainer regularly comments on how Faye surpasses both her purebred breeds and I am incredibly lucky to have such an amazing dog.

Maybe I won the cosmic lottery. Maybe it’s because I’m not shy about putting in the work. Probably it’s a combination. But I am so glad I ended up with Faye and chose this mix. She’s everything I need and more. Maybe one of those “insane” mixes will produce someone else’s Faye. I certainly hope so. But maybe we shouldn’t paint such mixes in so broad of strokes.

Or maybe I know nothing and I finally just got incredibly lucky.

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