Tumgik
#i don't know where the toilet paper comes from
leidensygdom · 2 days
Text
I gotta say, one of the wildest radical transphobes' talking "points" is probably bathroom discourse. I can't even put to words how utterly detached from reality it is. It's terminally online stuff.
So, bathrooms. I don't know if somehow other people's realities are somehow vastly different from mine, but I feel like the extreme clear divide between "men's" and "women's" bathrooms is just not real. Where I live, stalls are often gendered, but how much they get used in that way is far less consistent.
For example: If the place had only the space to make one bathroom accessible, it's gonna be the women's bathroom. Always. It doesn't mean only disabled women have access to bathrooms- It means that the women's bathroom is also going to be used by disabled people. And this is common. Really common. Maybe it's because the women's bathroom tends to need more space- For pad dispensers and trash cans, for baby-changing stations (yes, I hate that these are only on the women's bathroom usually), and so on. Now- You see a guy enter the women's bathroom. Are you gonna micro-analize if the guy looks disabled enough to use it, or are you going to wash your hands and go on with your life?
Again, baby-changing stations are almost always located on the women's bathroom. It sucks- It should be in all bathrooms. But it's how it is. You see a cis guy enter with a kid. Or maybe not even with a kid- Just enters, wanders around, finds the baby-changing station, gets a diaper from the dispenser and leaves. Are you gonna throw a fit or just let this guy handle his kid?
Bathrooms get cleaned on the regular. A lot of times, you may wanna go there, and get told it's being cleaned, and just get asked to use the other gender's bathroom. Cleaning can take hours. If the men's bathroom is being cleaned and everyone is now using the women's, are you going to deem the bathroom to be the world's unsafest place or are you just go take a pee and leave?
Fucking hell, sometimes the stall you want to go to is incredibly dirty. It happens. No need to get on details. Just the kind of stuff that makes you want to not use it. Or maybe it's clogged, or maybe it's not working. Maybe there's a note saying "Broken, do not enter". Do you cry about it or just go find another stall- Which may be on the other fucking gender's bathroom?
Most times I'll use whatever bathroom is available. One is busy? Ok, let me get to the other one. I'm AFAB and while I don't present femininely, I still look like a woman to most people. Have I ever been in danger because I cleaned my hands besides someone with a dick? No. Grow the fuck up. This isn't even rare. People will switch bathrooms for speed. People will switch bathrooms because one of them is out of paper. Because one of them is out of soap.
The mall in my current city recently installed "Family" bathrooms. They're not being marketed as unisex, or inclusive, or anything. Just "family" bathrooms. For everyone. They're great. It's the bathroom everyone will use- Men, women, anything in between and outside of that, kids, disabled people, etc. There's a bunch of stalls adapted to different needs. There's accessible stalls. There's pad and diaper dispensers. There's stalls that have a big toilet and a little toilet so parents can go with their kids. There's tall sinks and short sinks- So disabled people and kids can reach.
And, to nobody's surprise, there's no reports whatsoever of any sort of assault in them.
I'm just. I don't know. I'm sorry you can't detach the existence of a dick near you from immediate assault. I don't know why that changes in the context of a bathroom- I've never (in my long life of using whatever bathroom) been in danger for that. And I'm talking as someone who has had some unsavory experiences in other situations. Grow the fuck up and maybe stop basing your views on imaginary scenarios y'all need to come up with to justify your hatred of a minority. Maybe if y'all got off your keyboards and went outside for once, you'd realize bathrooms work much differently from whatever weird ideal you have formed about them.
206 notes · View notes
itgirl-111 · 4 months
Text
THE BEST MONEY AFFIRMATIONS (aka facts)
Tumblr media
(this is gonna be the only money Affirmations you'll never need lol)
I am rich
I am financially stable
I'm secure in my financial state
Money is safe
Money is good
Money is here to stay
I'm a money magnet
I have the perfect money mindset
I have the perfect self concept on money
I love money and money loves me
Money is the easiest thing to make
I have multiple sources of income
I am wealthy
I genuinely believe I deserve a lot of money
I deserve a luxurious, comfort, fun filled, lifestyle
I am worthy and deserving of having lots of money because I exist
I get money everyday
I get paid to exist
I am worth every cent I get
I get money quickly and easily
People always have enough money to give me
People bend over backwards to make sure I'm getting paid enough
Nobody goes to sleep unless and untill they make sure I'm getting paid enough
Everyday I just make more and more money
Me and the people i love are rich af
My bank account never stops getting fatter
I am so rich i make Elon Musk look poor
I am so rich my hands are starting to smell like money
I wake up every day and go to sleep stress free knowing that I don't have to worry about money in my life
I am living wealthy and abundant life
I keep finding money everywhere
No matter where I go money always keeps chasing me like a lost puppy
If I were to count the amount of times I got a huge amount of money out of blue, I wouldn't be able to count it cuz it's too much
My fingers are starting to hurt because of the amount of times I counted my stacks and stacks worth of billions of cash ugh 😫
I have so much money in my bank account that the value of pi π looks small
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, 7 OUT OF 7 days I get money.
12 OUT OF 12 months I get money
there's not a single day that goes by without me getting money
Any amount of money i spend comes back to me tenfold
I walk into a shop knowing damn well I could buy the entire shop if I wanted to
I have so much money I can use it instead of a toilet paper (jk i don't do that)
I have so much money I can make origami out of it
I have so much money I'd buy the biggest companies and still remain rich as fuck like?
I am the definition of LOADED 💵
I am independent, successful, wealthy, rich, self sufficient, financially secure, debt free, stress free, yep I identify with those things.
My notifications are flooded with me receiving payments constantly
If anyone is a FATASS it is my wallet
Money is so desperate to stay in my life
Every where I go even to the damn toilet I still can never escape from lots of money😔
Money keeps flowing to me like a river
My bank account digits are the most groundbreaking, immense, tremendous, huge, back arching, toe curling, digits ever known to human kind😞
If i spent a whole day counting my stacks of cash, i wouldn't be able to cause that will take atleast a million years...oops...😳
Whether it's expected or unexpected, whether  I'm happy or sad, sleeping or awake, working or not, money comes to me all the time and In all the ways.
563 notes · View notes
octoberclidan · 11 days
Text
Stolen Glances
Request: Can you write a smut story with dean in it I was hoping a friends to lovers sort of thing
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Masterlist
Note: this is 18+ only. Do not read this if you're under 18.
Story:
Glances. That's all she could get of him. She watched from the passenger seat of the Impala while the sun and the wind worked together to scatter highlights through his hair, and she listened as he sang along to his tape as if there was no one in the car with him. She smiled as she watched him enjoy the drive, no monsters to hunt down, no angels or demons after them, just a drive to get supplies for the bunker. He'd come to her room in the early afternoon to see if she wanted to come with him, and she never said no to spending more time with him, to catch more glances, to see small glimpses into what her life would be like if he was hers. He looked over to her after the song ended and she quickly looked away, not wanting to he caught stealing her glances.
"Think they'll have pie?" He asked and she looked back at him, rolling her eyes and laughing.
"Remember how you threatened the poor guy last time they had none? I think they order in twice as many now just in case you come in looking for it".
"Hey, don't bring up bad memories", he gave her a fake glare before looking back out at the road, and he smiled when he heard her quietly giggle to herself.
"Sorry, I forgot how traumatic that experience was for you".
"Worst thing that ever happened to me", he smiled while shaking his head. Although he was joking, [Y/N] sometimes wondered if being disappointed by a store being out of pie was somewhere up there with all of his other traumatic experiences in his head.
"Well, if they don't have pie then we can get the ingredients and I'll make one for you".
"Are you trying to get in my pants? 'Cause that'd do it", he grinned, glancing over for a second to admire the blush he'd created on her cheeks.
"Just drive", she couldn't help but smile, turning her head to look out of the window, hiding how easy it was for Dean to get her flustered. No one had ever given her butterflies with just a smile. Especially not a cocky smile. Then came Dean Winchester, so naturally confident, more attractive than any man she'd ever met. Just one wink from him and her heart would skip a beat, just one gentle brush of his hand against hers and she lost all sense of herself. She could keep her heartbeat and breathing steady when she was in hand-to-hand combat with any monster or demon, but one stolen glance at Dean and she couldn't control it. She didn't know if it was just a crush that she hadn't been able to get over, or if she was actually in love with him. She knew she loved him in some sense, she loved Sam and Cas too, but her feelings for Dean ran much deeper than familial love. She was hesitant to put a label on it though, and she'd never tell him.
Dean pulled into a parking space right in front of the store, and he led the way in, [Y/N] following behind him. "You wanna go grab the toilet paper? I'll get the food", Dean asked and [Y/N] nodded, and the two went their separate ways. She wandered down the aisle where she knew she'd find the toilet paper, but stopped when something caught her eye. Condoms. She couldn't remember the last time she'd needed them, she wasn't into casual sex with strangers like she knew Dean was, or even Sam was on occasion. Living in a bunker and spending most of her time either inside it, or across the country on a case with the boys, didn't really give her much time to build a relationship with anyone other than the boys. She often visited the local bar with Sam and Dean, and she never really liked the lonely trip back to the bunker on the occasion that they both found someone else to go home with. She had been feeling more and more in the mood for it recently though. Her fingers and her imagination, mostly occupied by thoughts of Dean, just weren't cutting it anymore. She wanted to find a man, but she'd been holding herself back, always finding excuses. She figured that maybe if she bought a pack of condoms and kept one in her purse, she'd be giving herself one less excuse to leave their bar alone.
She quickly grabbed a packet and made her way to the toilet paper, grabbing a few other toiletries on the way to hide the condoms. The last thing she wanted was for Dean to see them, raise his eyebrow at her, and make some smart comment on them. She knew she'd probably burn her cheeks with the embarrassment if that happened. She made her way to the checkout and paid for her stuff before heading outside to wait for Dean. She shoved the condoms into her jacket pocket while she held the rest of her things in a bag, waiting by the car for him to come out. In hindsight, she should've taken the keys from Dean so she could sit in the car, she knew he'd take longer if he was the one shopping for food. The air was warm, and she closed her eyes to enjoy the light breeze in her hair.
"Hey Sweetheart", Dean's voice caught her attention, and she opened her eyes to see him walking towards her, his hands full with bags. She could see a familiar box of pie peaking out of the top of one, and she almost felt disappointed. She wondered if she'd had to make one for him, if it would give him a reason to like her more.
"Hey", she smiled, pushing off the car. "They had pie?"
"Yup", Dean chuckled. "Dude scrambled to go get it when he saw me, I didn't even have to say anything".
"I'm telling you, he's terrified", she laughed and Dean shrugged sheepishly at her.
"Hey, could you grab the keys? They're in my pocket", Dean turned to his side and nodded down at his pocket. She nodded and reached into his jacket pocket with her free hand, but Dean cleared his throat when she found his pocket was empty. Looking up at him in confusion, she noticed a light blush across his nose. "Uh, sorry, I meant my jeans".
"Oh", she said, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks. "Right". She took her hand out of his jacket pocket and reached into his jeans pocket, quickly pulling out the keys and unlocking the car. They set their bags down before she silently handed Dean the keys and they got into the car. As soon as the engine was turned on, Dean turned on the music, neither of them making eye contact. She didn't know why it was so awkward, they'd been a lot closer to each other than having a hand in the other's pocket. She'd cleaned and stitched up wounds on his chest, stomach, and back. He'd cleaned and stitched up wounds on her shoulders, thighs, and sides, and it was never awkward.
About halfway back to the bunker, [Y/N] finally stole a glance over at Dean. The sun was starting to set, filling the Impala with a warm orange glow, and it hit Dean's face perfectly. They were coming up to a turn in the road when Dean looked in her direction, meaning to look out her window but catching her staring at him instead. When their eyes met, she jumped slightly and turned to look out the front of the car instead, but she looked back when she heard Dean chuckle. "What?" She asked, and he smirked before nodding down at the space between them, then looking back out onto the road. She looked down and immediately her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Her box of condoms had slipped out of her pocket and were now sitting beside her, fully visible to Dean.
"You seeing someone?" He asked as she quickly stuffed them back into her pocket.
"No", she shook her head, looking out the passenger window, not wanting to catch his eye.
"You planning to?" He asked, glancing over at her. She thought he sounded worried. She looked back at him with furrowed eyebrows.
"Maybe? Why does it matter to you?"
He shrugged as he looked back out the window. "Just think that if you're planning on going home with some guy, then Sam or I should know where you are. You know, for safety".
She scoffed and shook her head. "You don't tell me where you go when you find someone to hook up with. You think I can't look out for myself?"
"No, I do", he said, clearing his throat. "I just didn't know you were into that kind of thing".
"I'm not", she said quietly. Talking about one night stands, or sex in general, while alone with Dean was something she'd managed to avoid so far. She couldn't help but notice that he kept glancing at her as he drove. He quickly looked at her pocket, then back to the road, then to her eyes, then back to the road, then to her chest, then back to the road, then to her lips, then back to the road. It was making her feel a little self conscious, but it was also making her feel warm inside. After a few moments of silence, Dean cleared his throat again.
"So uh, if you're not into it, what's with the condoms?"
"Why are you suddenly so interested in my purchases?" Her cheeks warmed again as she saw his neck turn pink. Why did he look nervous? This was Dean, he didn't get nervous that easily.
"I'm not", he said, and she turned away from him again.
She sighed, contemplating whether it would be more or less awkward to continue the conversation. She didn't want things to be awkward between them later, so she figured it would be best just to get it out of the way now. "It's just... been awhile for me. I'm not into one night stands, but I also have needs, and desires, you know?" She asked, and Dean swallowed, nodding, but kept his eyes on the road. "So I figured, next time I'm at the bar, I'll give myself as few excuses for rejecting a guy as possible".
"Oh", he nodded. He stole another glance before muttering a "fuck this" and pulled over onto the side of the road.
"What are you doing?" She asked in confusion, and Dean turned to fully face her. She noticed that his eyes seemed darker than usual, and his chest showed he was breathing heavily.
"I can't concentrate on driving, I can't concentrate while thinking about you being prepared to go home with some guy, while thinking about you having needs and desires. Fuck [Y/N], do you even realise how hot you are?"
Now she was swallowing nervously. No man had ever looked at her quite like how Dean was looking at her, nothing but desire on his face as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, like he was finding it difficult to restrain himself. She blinked at him, completely speechless, waiting to wake up in her bed. Never in a million years would she ever have thought Dean would look at her like that, that he'd want her like that. Yet, here he was, waiting for her to say something, to give him permission. She glanced down at his lips as he licked them, and she couldn't help herself, she shuffled closer to him, sliding along the front bench. He lifted his arm up and onto the back bench behind her, and took his other hand off the steering wheel and grabbed her thigh, pulling a gasp from her as he angled her to face him. He left his hand on her thigh as he stared down at her, so close she could feel his breath on her face.
They glanced at each other's lips as they leaned in towards one another, finally closing their eyes as their lips touched. Dean almost immediately pushed his tongue into her mouth as he gripped her thigh tighter, and she moaned as his other hand slipped off the bench and into her hair. She slid her hands up his chest, leaving one there feeling his heart beating quickly as her other hand continued up to his face, feeling his stubble under her finger tips. Neither of them cared that they were on the side of the road as Dean's hand left her thigh and slid up under her shirt, his thumb just below her bra and his fingers gripping her side. She giggled as she pulled away from him, looking up and smiling. "That tickles".
He smiled at her as he leaned down for another kiss, pushing her down onto the bench and leaning his elbows either side of her. He pressed himself on top of her and she moaned as he ground against her. He left her lips and kissed along her jaw down to her neck before pushing his hand inside her jacket, pulling it off and letting it fall to floor of the car. He pushed his hand back up her top, feeling her body. "Dean", she whispered. He pecked at her neck once more before pushing himself up to look at her properly.
"Yeah Sweetheart?" He had that smirk on his face, the one she was all too familiar with, the one that made her imagine all sorts of scenarios with him.
"You're wearing too many clothes".
He chuckled before looking up over her head, out the passenger window. Luckily it was a quiet road, there didn't seem to be many people about. "Wanna get in the back? There's more space". He watched her blush as he spoke. "I mean, if you wanna keep going that is".
"Well", she bit her lip as she reached up cup his cheek. "I am prepared and everything".
He grinned as he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her up, reaching over her to open her door. She laughed at how excited he seemed, his smile making him look like he didn't have a care in the world, like this moment between them was the only thing in existence. He grabbed the condoms out of her discarded jacket, and they quickly got out of the car. Dean used the time to shed his own jacket before they slid into the back seat. Dean immediately grabbed [Y/N] and pulled her onto his lap, making her stradle him. He moaned as she leaned into him, feeling a hardness beneath his jeans. She began kissing at his jawline and neck as his hands found their way back up her top, his thumbs pushing up just under the cups of her bra, his fingers spread around her sides. Dean had large hands, and they made her feel small in his grasp.
"Fuck, that feels good", he groaned as she kissed just below his ear, his skin hot on her lips. "Can I take this off?" He asked, sliding his hands back down and tugging at the hem of her top. She leaned back slightly and nodded, and he grinned as he pulled it up and over her head, tossing it over the bench into the front of the car. "And this?" He asked, his hand running along the shoulder strap of her bra. She nodded again, this time a bit shyly, as he reached around to undo the clasp. Her bra fell away from her chest and he helped her slide the the staps down her arms. "Better than I imagined", he chuckled as he grabbed a breast in each hand, his thumbs flicking over both nipples.
"Imagined?" She asked, her fingers now toying with the hem of his t-shirt.
"Every day", he mumbled, completely distracted by the sight in front of him. "So many quick glances, not enough time to properly look", he said as his hand ran down her side, making her shiver, "and feel", he added.
She started to pull his shirt up and he complained when he had to take his hands off her to get it off, but as soon as it was on the floor, his lips were on hers in an instant. His tongue pushed into her mouth and he breathed heavily through his nose as she trailed her fingers over his stomach and up across his chest to his shoulders. She was taking her time with really feeling just how solid he was, how much muscle had had, how strong he felt under her. Her hands finally found their way back down to his belt, and she quickly unbuckled it. Getting the idea, Dean turned to his side and lay her down on the seat, leaning back to kick off his shoes and push his jeans off. She stared at him and the bulge in his boxers, the little wet patch from his arousal making itself apparent.
She reached down to unbutton her own jeans when his hands landed on hers. "Let me", his tone sounded almost like a plea as he waited for her to say yes, but she was lost in his appearance. Dean Winchester, stripped down to his boxers, a lights sweat on his body, his cheeks flushed, his lips slightly swollen, all because of her. Dean Winchester was looking at her like he'd never seen anything he wanted more. "Hey", he said, leaning over to cup her cheek. "Are you okay? Is this... this is still okay, right?" He asked, and she blinked, swallowing back her amazement and nodding.
"Yes", she said. "God yes, this is okay. I just got lost there for a second... do you even realise how sexy you are? Fuck Dean, look at you". He blushed and looked away from her, concentrating on her jeans again. Once they were undone, he pulled them down her legs, pulling her shoes off as he did so. Once she was left in just her panties, he leaned down to kiss her thighs, but looked up to her to catch her eyes as he did. He started to kiss higher up her legs, skipping over her underwear and kissing just below her belly button. She ran her fingers through his hair as she looked down at him, nervous but excited to watch him explore her body with his mouth.
He pecked her once more before hooking his finger into her panties and pulling them to the side, completely exposing her to him. He groaned as he leaned down, closing his eyes and licking up through her wetness. When he started to circle his tongue around her clit, she immediately clamped her thighs around his head, and gripped his hair tighter in her hand, surprised by how intense the pleasure was. "Fuck... sorry", she breathed out, relaxing her hold on him.
He chuckled and shook his head. "Do whatever you need, I'm into it", he kissed the inside of her thigh before focusing his attention back on her clit, now watching her reaction as he stroked a finger over her entrance. When she bucked her hips towards him, her inserted his finger, smiling to himself as she moaned. He continued to lick and such as he pushed another finger in, pumping in and out.
"Dean, stop, I'm close and I want us to cum together", she said through gritted teeth. He pulled away from her and raised his eyebrows.
"You sure? I can give you more than one".
"No", she shook her head, trying to calm herself. "The first one, I want it to be together".
He smiled at her as he nodded. She was completely lost in the moment, nothing else mattered other than the fact that Dean Winchester wanted to have sex with her in the back of his car, and it was about to happen. She watched with wide eyes as he pushed his boxers down, his cock fully erect, a bead of precum sitting on top. She licked her lips, she hoped they'd find themselves in a similar situation in the future where she could focus all of her attention on that, but right now she wanted him inside her. Dean grabbed the little box of condoms and pulled one out, splitting the wrapper open and pulling the rubber out. She fumbled with getting her panties off as she watched him expertly roll it onto himself.
"You ready?" He asked as he crawled on top of her, and she smiled up at him.
"Yes, I want to feel you", she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He positioned himself between her legs and slowly pushed in, holding his breath until he was as far as he could get. He let out a slightly shaky breath as he maneuvered slightly, caging her in between his arms.
"You feel so good", he whispered, leaning down to kiss her lips. He drew out of her slowly, just leaving the head inside, before thrusting back in. Her hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping him tight as he set a steady pace. He kissed her lips, cheeks, jaw, and neck as he continued, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Their breathing got heavier the closer they got, and the kisses got sloppy as they both moaned and groaned and gasped at every spike in pleasure.
When Dean felt her tighten around him, it pushed him over the edge, and just like she wanted, they came together. After a moment of catching their breaths, Dean kissed [Y/N]'s lips and pulled out. He discarded the condom and then grabbed [Y/N]'s waist, spinning them so he was lying down on his back with her on top of him. She snuggled into his chest and wrapped her arms around him, and he kissed her hairline and started to stroke up and down her back. "I never thought that would happen", she said quietly, and Dean sighed in content.
"I'm glad it did", he said. "And I hope it will happen again?"
She lifted her head to look at him, and leaned in for a quick kiss. "It's definitely happening again". They both grinned at each other before they went back to cuddling. They knew there would be no more stolen glances, they could just take as many as they liked.
The end
Dean Winchester taglist: @123passwort @janineb86 @k-slla @lyarr24 @candy-coated-misery0731 @jackles010378 @hobby27 @pizzagirlxnsfwx @itburnslikehelltobevega @queenie32 @livingdead-reilly @vmaier12 @littlemadamred @darthysfanfic @dramatic-long-coats @kr804573 @cutiesarah
391 notes · View notes
woso-dreamzzz · 4 months
Text
Pregnant II
Hardersson x Baby!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: Pernille's pregnancy
Tumblr media
During the first month, you're about the size of a poppy seed.
Pernille's fine on her own during this period. She has a little bit of spotting and feels a bit more tired than usual but she's mainly okay. Since the announcement, her teammates have been more careful on the pitch with her.
Everyone knows that the risk of miscarrying is higher before the third month so they all take care not to knock into her as much or, at least, to not hit her head on.
Magda, it seems, is the only one completely stressed out of her mind. She sends regular texts to check in with Pernille. She calls every day (once in the morning and once in the evening).
If she didn't have commitments in England then Pernille's sure that Magda would have flown over daily.
By the second month, you're the size of a kidney bean.
The symptoms have gotten a little worse by now. The tiredness has been replaced by sore breasts and the spotting by morning sickness. It's still manageable and Pernille doesn't even think to tell Magda until she misses a morning call in favour of hunching over the toilet and spewing out her guts.
"Her heart's developing now," Magda's voice comes through the phone, echoing around the tiled walls of Pernille's bathroom," And her brain too. Do you think she'll be smart? I think she'll be smart."
"We don't know if it's a girl yet, Magda," Pernille says. She's still leaning against the toilet but Magda's voice is safe and soothing.
"I know it's a girl," Magda replies, an air of finality in her tone," A little Pernille."
"She's your egg. She'll be a little Magda."
Pernille can hear the smile in Magda's voice as she replies," I made you admit she's a girl."
At the end of month three, you're the same size as a lime.
The morning sickness is extremely bad now and Magda even flies out when she hears from Nilla that Pernille had thrown up on the side of the pitch one morning.
"This brings back memories," Magda quips as she holds Pernille's hair back.
"Of what?"
"Crazy parties in our youth."
"We're still young, Magda. Becoming parents doesn't automatically make us old," Pernille sits up and takes the washcloth from her partner.
"Yeah, but we're more mature now. No more crazy parties and throwing up."
"None recently," Pernille corrects. She smiles for a moment before hunching over the toilet bowl again.
Magda rubs her back. "I've taken a few weeks off," She says," You keep getting sick."
"Magda-"
"No, I've already made my decision. International break is soon anyway. Our next match isn't too difficult. They don't really need me."
Pernille can't find it in herself to argue about it much, with the way that she sags against the wall and stays within arm's length of the toilet.
Magda kisses her stomach. "You're making your Momma sick," She says," You've got to leave her alone. You're still growing in there."
At month four, you're around the size of an avocado.
The morning sickness has stopped completely now but the soreness in her breasts doesn't subside at all.
It's completely coincidental when, one evening as she's changing her shirt, Pernille catches the sight of herself in the mirror.
She's got a baby bump now.
Instantly, her hand goes to touch it, as if she could feel exactly where you are.
She takes a picture and sends it to Magda.
She can see that it's been read but Magda doesn't reply for hours until finally...
MAGDA ❤️ you look so beautiful that's my new lockscreen
It's month five. You're the same length as a banana.
She could have found out earlier but Pernille waits until Magda can make the trip to find out your gender.
"A girl." Magda is still convinced as they sit in the waiting room, her hand stroking over Pernille's knuckles. "I know she's a girl."
"We'll see."
Pernille feels a bit vindictive so has the doctor write your gender on a scrap of paper, folds it up and hands it to Frido (who has come to visit).
"Huh?" Frido says as she looks down at the scunched-up ball of paper.
"You're in charge of that," Pernille says," Magda doesn't see it, she doesn't take it before the gender reveal."
"You guys are planning a gender reveal?"
Pernille shakes her head. "No. You are."
By month six, you're as big as an ear of corn.
You move around a lot now and Pernille never forgets the look on Magda's face when, one evening, Pernille grasps her hand and places it over her swollen stomach.
You kick almost every day and Pernille rubs her stomach softly as Frido hands her and Magda a knife.
"I bought cake," Frido proclaims," Because this is a celebration and you can't go wrong with cake."
Someone (Pernille's not sure who) on the Wolfsburg team rolls it out.
"If it's blue, it's a boy. If it's pink, it's a girl," Frido explains even though it really didn't need explaining. She's taking her role as future moster very seriously and it's slightly amusing.
"It'll be pink," Magda says," I know it will."
Frido rolls her eyes. "Then cut it. But...just wait until the camera's on. Okay! Ready? Ready!"
Magda's hand is warm around Pernille's, who is holding the knife in her own. They make two cuts into the cake, one after the other, and then pull out the slice.
"A girl," Pernille says softly, smiling as her team celebrates around her. She looks up at Magda, whose eyes are glistening with unshed tears.
"A girl."
Month seven and the only thing different is now you're the size of a large aubergine.
Her doctor has said that you can hear now so she spends countless nights with a pair of headphones on her stomach, playing voice notes Magda has sent throughout the day for you.
It's amusing. They're mostly nonsense, Magda just talking about her day and all the things she looks forward to doing with you but it's incredibly sweet and Pernille ends up crying every time.
Month eight comes around and now you're the same size as a cabbage.
Pernille's back aches more than ever and you enjoy sitting on her bladder so she has to take a bathroom break more often.
The highlight of the month comes when Magda comes over and lifts her bump, allowing Pernille to sag against her and feel slightly weightless for a little bit.
At month nine, you're the same as a head of lettuce.
She and Magda have been arguing over names for months now. There's a list pinned to the fridge and each of them takes a lot of pride in crossing out the other's suggestions in healthy competition.
Your last name is still up for debate too, as is your middle (but, somehow, Frido's gotten in on that action and has been texting Pernille suggestions for weeks now).
Pernille's having trouble getting to sleep too and you get more active than before. Rather than kicking though, it's your little fists thumping against her stomach (something that, many years in the future, she will tell Zećira was you foreshadowing).
Her doctor told her it was normal but it's still a bit disconcerting to see the tiny imprints of your even tinier fingers poking from the inside out.
By month ten (and Pernille hates that she's been lied to and pregnancy does not, in fact, end in the ninth month), you're the same size as a pumpkin.
She feels ready to pop but restless at the same time.
Magda's meant to be flying out later today but Pernille is in desperate need of some fresh air so she pulls on some clothes and gets herself ready to head to the Wolfsburg grounds.
420 notes · View notes
luveline · 10 months
Note
Hello! 💕 I love your work!
May I request a small drabble where Roan is at a stage when she's so fascinated with reader's makeup and outfits that Roan wants to copy her mom's style.
Thank you!
thank you for your request!! I know you sent it in April but I hope you can enjoy regardless! dad!eddie x fem!reader, 1.8k
Roan is trying to be respectful. She really, truly is, but this is her chance. She can hear you in the bathroom talking to her dad where he's sitting with his back to the closed door. Eddie hadn't paid Roan any mind when she walked past him into your room, because Roan isn't badly behaved. Well, usually. 
She knows she shouldn't touch your things without asking, but she just loves how you look before you go out with your friends —you'd traipsed down the stairs yesterday afternoon in a casual dress and flats with your make up all shiny and dewy and pretty— and she wants to look pretty too. 
She looks through your make up bag cautiously. She doesn't want to break anything. Eddie's laughing loudly now, and the door must be ajar because your voice is louder. You're telling a story, and Eddie's eating it up, he's practically shouting he's laughing so much. Roan stands up to go and investigate, but then she thinks maybe she won't get to do this again, so she sits back down and picks up a lip gloss. 
Roan jumps as you get out of the bath, a plastic pulling sound like skin rubbed against porcelain ringing down the hall. She's on high alert, and she's scared of being caught, and she definitely didn't think this through. She grabs your make up bag and flees to the wardrobe, throwing open the doors and climbing inside. She shouts the door behind her, holding her breath in the dark. 
You walk into the bedroom, Eddie on your tail. 
"I don't think you should hang out with her anymore," Eddie's saying, his voice still laden with laughter. 
"By that logic I should've stopped hanging out with you a long time ago," you say. You squeal like you've been pinched, adding, "A long long time ago."
"Yeah, you should've. Do you want to go anywhere, or are we putting our pyjamas on?" 
There's thirty seconds of relative silence and then sound. A plastic lid from your body butter, the bedside table lamp being turned on, Eddie coughing. Her dad's been sick this week, a cold Roan miraculously didn't catch. She made sure to give him extra cuddles and he healed up pretty fast. Roan the Healing Balm, he called her. 
"Nowhere," you say finally. A drawer rolls on its hinges. "Did you want to–" 
"Nah, just wondering. We need crackers for Ro's lunch tomorrow and toilet paper, but we can get those in the morning. That smells nice, what one is that?" 
"One you got me, uh, mandarin and something. Ylang-ylang?" 
"Smells good."
"You want some?" 
"I'm okay." 
"No, come here." 
Roan holds your make up bag closer to her chest. She pushes the door gently to widen a slit so she can spy on you. You're in pyjamas now, a towel wrapped around your hair, sockless and climbing onto the bed where Eddie's lying. He sits up. Roan's worried she'll be caught, so she lets the door fall back into place.
Mattress springs shift, and Eddie says, "It's cold." 
"Your arms are sooo long," you say simply. There's a smacking sound like a kiss. "And kissable! Who knew?" 
"I love you," Eddie says warmly. 
"I love you too…" There's another kiss. "You're pretty." 
"You're pretty," Eddie says. 
"Want a hug?" 
Eddie doesn't say yes or no. Roan peaks out through the gap again to find you kneeling at the end of the bed with your arms around his shoulders. He rubs your back, his tattoo looking darker than usual from the moisturiser. 
"Where's Ro?" you ask quietly, kissing the top of his head. "Maybe she wants a hug too." 
"She's being really quiet today," Eddie says, "I think she's up to something." 
You kiss his head again and peel away, brushing a curl from his eyes as you say, "You always think she's up to something. Your dad sense is on the fritz." 
"Probably. Hey, have you seen my big hoodie? I was thinking I'd take her out for a bit, push her on the tyre swing and burn off some mischievous energy." 
"Gonna wear it over your pyjamas?" you ask. 
"Duh." 
"I think it's in the wardrobe. If it's not in there it's in the laundry. I'm gonna go find my girl," you say. 
"I'll be right there," Eddie says. 
Roan holds her breath again as he approaches. She knows she's busted but she can't help trying to hide anyways, burying her face in her knees, hands around her legs, your make up bag lost in the folded jeans beneath her. The door creaks slowly, and Eddie gasps. 
"Oh, holy shit," Eddie says. "Holy sugar. Hey, babe, what the heck are you doing in there?" 
"What?" you ask. 
Roan lifts her head, a pout on her lips that begs for forgiveness. Eddie grins as soon as he's recovered from the shock of finding her, and you're wide-eyed from behind him.
"Well, there's my girl," you say, resting your hand on Eddie's thigh as you crouch. "Watcha doing? Who are we hiding from?" 
Eddie crouches down next to you, and you both look so happy to see her that Roan figures she might not get into trouble after all. Now that she can see, she picks up the stolen make up bag and offers it back to you. 
"I just wanted to try," she explains. 
You and Eddie look at each other. 
"Well, you shouldn't be in mom's things," Eddie begins, gently scolding as you accept the bag.
"All you have to do is ask, Ro," you finish. 
"I want to look like you," Roan says. 
Eddie smiles. "Come on. Get out of the wardrobe, babe, before we close you in." 
You elbow him as Eddie gets his hands under Roan's arms, helping her out of the wardrobe. She doesn't need help, but her dad is super strong and has her sitting on the big bed before she can blink. You follow with your make up bag in hand, sitting down with an excitement that wobbles the mattress. 
"What do you want, babe? Lip gloss?" 
"And the sparkly eyes," she says. They're imperative. 
"Oh, good choice," you say. 
You shuffle closer to Roan and pull out the white square of eyeshadow, flipping it open. There's lots of colours inside, but the best in Roan's opinion is a white that shines baby pink in the sun. Roan tells you what she wants, and you have her close her eyes, leaning in to take her chin into your hand gently. Your breath fans over her cheek. "Keep your eyes closed, lovely girl." 
Roan squeezes them closed.
"Not that closed!" you laugh. 
Roan relaxes. Carefully, softly, you pat eyeshadow onto her eyelids with your fingertip, humming little affirmative sounds under your breath. 
"Good girl," you murmur, blending the ends out with what feels like a different finger. "Just sit still, one more second." 
More patting. Roan tries not to move around, but her excitement has her shaking. After a few more moments you lean back. 
"All done, babe. You can open your eyes." 
Roan opens her eyes wide, the light nearly too bright. Eddie sorts through the stuff in your make up bag, interested, bottles and brushes clinking together. "Oh, hey," he says, lifting a tube up, "this colour?" 
It's the red-pink colour that Roan yearns for. She nods eagerly and you hold out your hand. You unscrew it and bring the applicator to her lips. Roan pouts, which makes you and Eddie smile in tandem. She has no idea why. 
You put a little bit on the centre of her lip and spread it out with your pinky finger. Roan is totally relaxed by your lap. 
"I need the shiny one too," you say. 
Eddie shuffles through your things and procures a clear lip gloss. "This?" 
"Yes, please." 
Eddie hands it to you and you uncap it deftly.
"Rub your lips together, baby," you say, demonstrating. 
Roan rubs her lips together. You brush the clear lip gloss on top of the pink and tell her to rub her lips together again, before smoothing a little bit of moisturiser over her face with kind fingers. You trace the heart of her face down to the chin and beam at her. 
"You look so pretty," you say, falling into the bubbly voice you and Eddie don't use so much anymore. 
Roan's chin dips inward shyly. Eddie pulls a compact from your bag and shows her the mirror part, and her chin quickly lifts. A blush rises to her cheeks as she turns her face one way and then another. 
"What do you think?" Eddie asks. 
Roan nods a bunch of times before she answers, not wanting to tear her gaze from the mirror. "I look beautiful," she says. 
"Yes, you do! You always look beautiful," Eddie says. 
"I need to put my dress on," Roan says firmly. She gives herself one last look in the mirror before sliding off of the bed and out of your reach. 
She races off. 
You and Eddie look at each other while she's gone, two pleased, stickying smiles. "She's so easy to please," you say. 
"No, you just spend the time with her. She loves you." 
You push your hand across the bed toward his thigh and lean on it, looking up at him with a teasing smile. "Want me to do yours, too?" you offer. 
"Definitely. I'll hold off on the dress, for now. I don't think I have one that'll fit." 
You lift your chin for a kiss. "Good idea," you say against his lips.  
"I'd look good though, right?" 
"You'd look amazing. You have the thighs for it." 
"I do, don't I?" he asks, pleased. 
You have your face on Eddie's leg when Roan comes back, his arms splayed across the length of your back, as though you've collapsed in on one another. She does a spin in her second nicest dress. 
"Do I look like you, mom?" she asks. 
You smile like you've won the lottery. "You look a thousand times more beautiful than me, sweetheart." 
Roan laughs and does another spin. Eddie hums unhappily because you're just as beautiful, but he has to admit that his girl looks good. 
"Let me grab the camera," he says. 
For once, Roan doesn't grumble. She poses for pictures and makes sure she has a bunch with you, too, even though you aren't wearing anything so nice as she is. 
"I'm gonna have that one printed," Eddie says after a flash.
"No you are not!" you say.
Eddie and Roan share a look. He's definitely having it printed. 
thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! please think about reblogging if you enjoyed and have the time ♡
more eddie, roan and reader
853 notes · View notes
sidekick-hero · 3 months
Text
Carry you
Tumblr media
(steddie | rated t | wc: 4k | cw: drug addiction, hurt Eddie Munson, post break-up, hopeful ending | @steddielovemonth | prompt by @starryeyedjanai "Love is letting someone take care of you" | AO3)
Tumblr media
When Eddie opens his eyes, he has no idea where he is.
That should probably scare him, but the only thing he can think in that moment between blissful nothingness and cold, hard reality is "the bathroom at the party looked different." Because he is in a bathroom, that much he can say. There are white tiles everywhere and a roll of toilet paper in front of him and... is that a plastic handrail?
Lifting his head is a Herculean effort, but somehow he manages to do it, even though it makes his stomach turn.
In front of him is a freestanding shower and a bathtub with stairs to get into. The bathroom is huge and sterile, smelling of disinfectant.
As more and more of his senses come back online, Eddie notices several things at once:
#1 He's wearing what can barely be called a gown, cold air hitting his exposed skin everywhere. His back, his legs, hell, even his junk gets more of a breeze than he likes.
#2 He's nauseous, his stomach rolls uncomfortably, and his head is killing him, a sharp pain that's increasing in intensity by the second.
#3 He knows that something is definitely very, very wrong and he can feel the anxiety rising like bile in his throat.
It's that last realization that triggers his fight or flight response and in seconds he's off the toilet he's sitting on, the sudden movement sending him stumbling, his legs wobbling and his head spinning. Everything hurts and he feels so weak. He catches himself on the railing next to the toilet and figures that's what it's there for. Although he has no idea what kind of person would have such a strange bathroom. The last one he was in, at Tim's or Tom's or Terry's party, something with a T, for sure, the tiles had been black and there had been a lot of bamboo furniture and gold accents. It had smelled nice too, vanilla and cinnamon.
He staggers to a door that hopefully leads out of this fucking nightmare. Maybe Gareth or Freak are behind this, to teach Eddie a lesson for ditching them again to go partying when they had to pack up their shit after the show. But not Jeff, he's too nice to do something like that. The next morning, when Eddie arrives with a hangover the size of his ego, to quote Gareth, Jeff will only look at him with disappointment.
Or maybe they just don't care enough about him anymore to pull a prank on him. Eddie can't remember the last time they even talked to him, beyond discussing the bare minimum for their shows.
Leaving the bathroom, he carefully walks down a long hallway with the ugliest yellow linoleum Eddie has ever seen. It hurts his eyes and his stomach gives another unpleasant churning. On his right, he sees a glass door with "Intermediate Care Unit" written in big white letters.
What the fuck?
He turns right and continues down the hall, hoping to find someone who can tell him where he is and why his body feels like it's been hit with a sledgehammer. Repeatedly.
"Mr. Munson, you shouldn't be out of bed," a stern voice calls from behind him, and when he turns around he sees a middle-aged woman in white scrubs looking at him with a stern expression on her face.
Feeling more and more like he has landed in an episode of The Twilight Zone, Eddie looks at her with an incredulous look on his face. "Who are you? And where is everyone?"
She scoffs at his answer, clearly not pleased.
"I am the nurse responsible for getting you well enough to leave this ward as soon as possible, and you would make my job a lot easier if you would go back to your bed." Before he can process the meaning of her words, she continues. "As for everyone else, well, no one else overdosed, so I would assume they're all home by now."
Eddie can only stare at her open-mouthed, disbelief and horror probably written all over his face, because her own face is softening slightly.
"Now come on, let's get you back to bed, you really shouldn't be wandering around."
She gently takes his elbow and leads him to a door with the number 719 on it. As she opens it for him, Eddie sees three beds inside. To the left and right, he sees two old men, both looking directly at him. The one on the right says, "We tried to stop him, Nurse Elli, we really did," in a high, nasal voice that is already getting on Eddie's nerves. "The kid wouldn't listen to us, would he, Harry?"
"Exactly," Harry answered, at least in a deeper, more bearable tone.
Ignoring the geriatric Ernie and Bert, Nurse Elli leads him to the bed in the middle and helps him to lie down again. Only then does Eddie remember that all he's wearing is a thin hospital gown with an open back. Well, he thinks, Nurse Elli has seen worse in her profession than his pale, scrawny ass. Besides, it's not like much of his modesty has survived the last two years of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll that have been his life.
By the time he's back under the covers, his nurse has turned around and is walking back over to the door. A bone-deep exhaustion has begun to seep into his body, slowly dragging him back under, but seeing her walk out of the room gives him a burst of energy.
"Wait! Someone needs to tell me what happened. What am I doing here?"
Embarrassment burns hot under his skin as he hears the tears in his voice, but the sound of it breaking at his question makes Nurse Elli stop. She turns back to him and her eyes are much kinder than before.
"The doctor will be with you shortly. He'll explain everything to you, Mr. Munson. I'll let him know you're awake now."
And then she leaves, and Eddie sinks back into his bed in the hope that the next time he opens his eyes, it will all have been just a bad dream.
Tumblr media
It was not all just a bad dream.
The next time Eddie comes to, he's alone in his room, except for a middle-aged man who seems to be the doctor Nurse Elli told him would be stopping by.
Doctor Owens explains that he overdosed on alcohol and coke at a party at some music producer's house and had been in a coma for two full days. They quickly stabilized him, pumped his stomach and gave him fluids through an IV. Eddie is lucky he's still young and his system recovered from the shock quite well. When he showed signs of waking up, they brought him down here from the ICU to free up his bed for someone who needed it more.
"If Mr. Harrington hadn't called 911 and told them to come get you, you'd be dead right now, Mr. Munson. I'm sorry to say this, but from what I've heard, no one at the party even cared, just insisted that you brought your own drugs and they had nothing to do with it. Mr. Harrington has also been your only visitor so far."
His words should make him angry or sad, something, but he can't process them. Not when his brain is still struggling to make sense of the first part of his statement, Eddie’s heart racing in his chest.
"Mr. Harrington? As in..."
"Steve Harrington, he says he's a close friend. He's the one who called the ambulance, gave the operator your cell phone number so they could track your phone and get you to the hospital. He's been visiting you every day since. He also called your uncle, because we are not allowed to give out any medical information to anyone outside of the family. Your uncle should be here soon, I called him yesterday to give him an update on your condition."
His mind is reeling, too many thoughts fighting for dominance and one word screaming louder than any of them in his head.
Steve, Steve, Steve.
How... it couldn't be. Not after their last fight. Not after the things he said to Steve. To his horror, he feels tears burning hot in his eyes at the memory. A memory he had pushed as far back in his mind as he could because every time he thought about that night he wanted to curl up into a fetal position and cry.
"You are a lucky man, Mr. Munson. This man seems to care a lot about you, as does your uncle. You should let them help you. And if you will allow me to be very clear with you: You need all the help you can get. You're young, so your body can take a lot. But it's not in good shape. You have an old man's liver, and your spleen and kidneys are showing signs of the abuse you put them through. The echo also showed some irregularities in your heartbeat. If you continue down the path you're on, your organs will fail and you will die, Mr. Munson. Painfully. So my advice to you is to get clean as soon as possible. We have some facilities we work with, a nurse will bring you some brochures."
Eddie could only nod numbly, tears now falling freely from his eyes, his throat tight and his head aching. Everything hurt. Especially his heart.
"Okay, we'll keep you here for two more days until we're sure you're stable enough to be on your own." Doctor Owens tells him, turning to leave and get on with his day, as if he hadn't just dropped a damn bomb on his head. He pauses at the door and turns back to him.
"And a word of advice from someone twice your age who's seen a lot in his time here: stick with people who really care about you, like Mr. Harrington, instead of spending your time with people who leave you lying in a bathroom in your own vomit."
With that, he steps out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him and leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts.
Tumblr media
Eddie doesn't know how long it's been since Dr. Owens left. It could have been hours, days, weeks, for all he knows, too deep inside his own head to spare any thought for the passing of time. Lying in a hospital bed, the nausea and pain raging through his battered body, Eddie finally breaks down and lets the thoughts come.
He's lost in his memories, thinking about everything that led him here, alone and in pain in a hospital bed, after nearly killing himself with things he swore he'd never use. Weed was fine, though he didn't indulge much anyway, preferring to sell it and make some much-needed money than to smoke it himself. But coke? Nah, he knew how epically stupid it would be to even try that shit.
And yet he did.
A party to celebrate the release of their first single. One lapse in judgment while flying so fucking high that nothing could touch him. One bad decision was all it took for him to succumb to the effects of the white powder.
The high he felt after snorting his first line had been magical and he's been chasing that feeling ever since, blind to all he's sacrificed in the process.
It changed him, he knows. Every euphoric high that made him talk a mile a minute, overly affectionate, loud and brash and in love with the whole world would inevitably end in a crash. He became irritable and hostile toward the people he loved, thinking they were out to get him. Whenever his friends or Wayne or Steve so much as looked at him the wrong way about his new habit, he would lash out at them.
He became increasingly angry and accused them of trying to control him, of envying him his success and happiness.
That's when he started drinking, too. He drank himself stupid so that he wouldn't have to think about the way Steve was starting to look at him as if he didn't even know him anymore. To forget the sad look in Wayne's eyes or the way his friends had started to avoid him. When he was drunk out of his mind, he could forget the way the Coffin boys had started talking about him behind his back, could ignore the murderous looks Robin kept sending his way.
Thinking back, Eddie felt like everything had spun out of his control so fast.
It's like one day he comes home to Steve, ecstatic about signing their first record deal and celebrating the start of a new chapter with the love of his life by dancing around their living room barefoot, laughing and kissing each other, promising happiness and forever.
Only to throw that love right back in Steve's face the next day by calling him needy, clingy, and full of bullshit.
He claimed that Steve was holding him back and that Steve didn't love him, that he just didn't want to be alone. He also said that Steve still thought he was better than Eddie, better than the town freak, the fuck-up, the trailer trash.
You don't want me to succeed and finally step out of your perfect shadow, because then what would stop me from leaving you, right?
Eddie regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. Secretly, he had always feared that his success would cause a rift in his relationship with Steve. Eddie had no desire to leave Steve, because Steve was still the best goddamn thing that ever happened to him, but he couldn't help but feel that he was losing him anyway. Even more so when he had seen Steve's face crumble, when he had seen the exact moment when his heart had broken into a million pieces.
He had wanted to take Steve in his arms and apologize for saying cruel things he didn't even believe. It had been his own insecurities that had caused him to lash out, and he had hurt Steve before he had a chance to be hurt himself.
Instead, in true Munson fashion, he had run away and hasn't seen or heard from Steve in six long months that have felt like years.
Tumblr media
Steve looks almost exactly the same as he did the last time Eddie saw him.
That's not a good thing, though. Because Steve had been driving himself crazy with worry about Eddie for months before Eddie had taken Steve's heart and torn it apart right in front of him.
Back then he had the same dark circles under his eyes that he has now. The usually golden skin is still too pale and Steve's trademark hair looks even more disheveled from how often he's run his hands through it. His well-fitting jeans, which once hugged his ass just right, now sit baggy on his too-slim frame and Eddie hates it.
He hates that Eddie could still hurt Steve even after he left. That even from a distance he managed to ruin the only person who ever really loved him besides Wayne. There should be some kind of warning sign on him: Beware, do not get attached, will hurt you.
"You're awake," are the first words out of Steve's mouth, and despite everything, Eddie can't stop his heart from responding to the sound of his sweet voice. Steve sounds tired, weary, but to Eddie's ears his voice is better than any Metallica song could ever be.
He tries to smile at him, but he feels as tired as Steve sounds, so it lacks the usual spark.
"Sure am. From what I heard, I have you to thank for that," Eddie adds, unable to help himself. He still doesn't know why and especially how Steve knew he needed help. If this were a Nicholas Sparks novel, their love would have created an invisible bond that made Steve feel when Eddie needed help.
But this is real life, and no matter how much he loves Steve, there is no invisible bond holding them together. Just an unbridgeable chasm.
Steve is still hovering at the door and Eddie thinks he is fighting the urge to wring his hands. Eddie knows his tells by now and he figures Steve isn't sure he's welcome here. Which is ridiculous, because even at his worst, Eddie will always want Steve around, no matter what crap Eddie tells him.
It takes a lot of effort, but Eddie manages to sit up and lean out of bed to pat the chair next to his bed, his eyes never leaving Steve.
Eddie sees Steve's shoulders slump, some of the tension visibly draining from his body at the gesture, and Steve walks over to him and sits down tentatively.
"So..." Eddie begins, dragging out the 'o'. "What happened?"
Steve looks up from his hands in his lap, obviously surprised by the question. "You don't remember?"
"No. The last thing I remember is sitting on a leather couch with a bunch of people I don't know and don't care about, fooling myself into thinking I was having fun." Eddie has had plenty of time to think about his life and where he went wrong, so he decides to stick with honesty. Steve deserves as much and more. "Someone handed me a bottle of whiskey and I opened it and started drinking straight from the bottle. That's the last thing I remember. The next thing I know, I wake up in an ugly bathroom that smells like disinfectant, my whole body hurts like I've been hit by a train, and I have no idea where I am."
Before he can bring himself to say the next part, it's Eddie who has to look away, his eyes focused on his hands playing with the edge of the blanket.
"They told me it was you who called 911 and helped them find me. They said without you I would have died lying in my own vomit." He swallows audibly, tears burning in his eyes, wondering how he could have cried more in the last ten hours than in the last ten years. "They also said you were the only one who came to see me."
Eddie forces himself to look up and into Steve's eyes as he says, "Thank you, Steve. You didn't... I don't deserve you doing this. Not after..." The words die in his throat and he feels like he's choking on them.
He can't do this. He's a fucking coward, not worth saving. Not even worth looking at someone as good and beautiful as Steve.
There's a crease between Steve's eyebrows that Eddie used to smooth with his thumb and lips every time he saw it, and his fingers itch to do it again.
"You called me," Steve tells him, his own hands playing with the edge of Eddie's blanket. "At the party. You called me from the bathroom. I thought it was a butt call or maybe drunk dialing, I hadn't heard from you in months, Eddie."
Eddie winces at his words, but Steve chooses to ignore it.
"But then you sounded so small on the phone. You called me 'Stevie' and 'sweetheart' and then you started to cry." Steve looks like he's about to cry, too. His eyes are glassy and Eddie gets lost in the way the light breaks in them, gold and brown and green all mixed together.
"You told me you weren't feeling so good, that your stomach hurt and the room was spinning so you had to lie down. Your voice -" And here Steve's own voice breaks, after it had already started to shake badly, and without thinking Eddie grabs Steve's hand and holds it tight.
"I'm here, Stevie. You saved me. I'm okay."
"But you almost weren't!" Steve insists, his voice rising, and Eddie finally understands the depth of Steve's feelings. After all these months, after everything Eddie had said and done, Steve still cared deeply for him.
"You talked like you were dying, Eddie. You weren't drunk dialing, you were calling to say goodbye, asshole. You were telling me all these things that I needed to hear you say for months. But I wanted to hear them with you in the room so I could punch you in the face and then kiss it better. Not like this. Not as your last words over a fucking phone call."
That's when Steve breaks down, the tears finally overflowing and he buries his face on the bed at Eddie's hip, their joined hands pressed against his wet cheek.
"Baby," Eddie whispers, shocked, his own heart aching worse than ever as he begins to run his fingers through Steve's messy hair. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm so, so sorry, Stevie. I never meant to hurt you, but it seems like that's all I did."
Taking a deep breath, Eddie continues. "I don't know what I told you on the phone, but since I woke up I've had time to think about it all. I don't know if I can ever make it up to you. Or to Wayne and the kids, Gareth and Jeff and Grant. If I will ever deserve your forgiveness, but I want to try. I want to deserve it one day. I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but... I will go to rehab. I will quit drugs and alcohol, I will clean up my act. And then, if you let me, I will try to make it up to you every single day for the rest of our lives."
Steve slowly lifts his head from the bed and looks at him, searching Eddie's eyes for something.
"Why?" Steve asks, his hand gripping Eddie's even tighter.
There are so many reasons, so many things Eddie wants to say, but in the end there is only one simple answer.
"Because I love you."
The smile on Steve's face tells him it's the right answer, even more so when Steve presses a kiss into his palm. But then he turns serious once more.
"I haven't forgiven you yet, Eddie. You hurt me too much and I need time. But I need you to stop trying to run away from me. I don't want you to go to rehab and clean yourself up before you come back to me. I want to be with you every step of the way. Do it together. Because if you love me, you have to let me take care of you. You have to let me in, Eddie. Let me carry you for once, like Sam carried Frodo when he couldn't go on. Trust me not to let you fall. Please."
"Did you really just make a reference to Lord of the Rings?" Eddie demands and Steve rolls his eyes.
"Is that what you get from everything I just said?"
Eddie sobers up immediately. "No, it just made me fall a little bit more in love with you, and I didn't think that was possible."
"So what do you say?" Steve asks, chewing his lip between his teeth, and Eddie suspects he's not even breathing.
"It's going to suck, Stevie," Eddie says in a quiet voice, stroking Steve's knuckles with his thumb."Are you sure?"
"Yes." No hesitation, no wavering in his voice. It's the same tone, the same determined look on his face as when he told Eddie "Fuck'em," when Eddie told him people in their small-minded town would talk if Steve held his hand in public.
"There's a bunch of brochures of places to check out. Wanna help me pick the least horrible one?" Eddie says, pointing to the table in the corner of the room.
Without another word, Steve gets up to grab them, and for the first time in a long time, Eddie allows himself to hope.
240 notes · View notes
missmeinyourbones · 2 years
Text
haikyuu boys as icks
because my favorite thing is humbling men and fictional men are no exception | aot version & jjk version
atsumu:
does that thing where he "forgets to know your name" so he doesn't look obsessed with you, but in reality he just looks like a douchebag LOL he's comes up to you all nonchalant like "y/n, right?" as if he doesn't follow you on ig and like all of ur pics....and he thinks it makes him look so cool and popular and mysterious and then u look him dead in the eye and ur like "yeah, you're osamu, right?" he's humbled very quickly
osamu:
when he’s really tired or clingy, he talks in a baby voice :/ sometimes even refers to himself in the third person :/ just typing this rn is making me frown with disappointment. like yeah atsumu may be the more dramatic twin, but thats only bc he’s shameless in public. behind closed doors, osamu is right there w/ him. you find him pouting on the couch after a long day like “osamu wants cuddles >:(” or “can we make dinner together i’m hungwy >:(” big offender of the “sowwy” and “pwease” agenda. arrest him
suna:
is the embodiment of that one trend where you tell guys they look like they can’t swim and they get so unnecessarily defensive about it LOL. you say he “gives off a vibe that he can’t swim that well” and hes DISTRAUGHT...immediately whipping out all of his cards to prove you wrong like “obviously i can swim, wtf let’s go find a public pool rn and i’ll show you how good i can swim” also gets you back in such a ruthless way like “okay, but i can. and you look like you don’t know how to read.” feelings end up hurt on both ends :/
hinata:
whenever you guys go to the store, he holds up the line because he’s like “oh, i have a coupon for that!!! :)” but it's never convenient at all. it could be for the most minuscule or absurd products too, like toilet paper or ballpoint pens, and he’s digging through his wallet once you guys reach the register. like baby AREN’T YOU A PRO ATHLETE???? i think you can afford the extra $1.42 for granola bars. you bring up the idea of him having the coupon ready before he gets in line and he’s like “idk i don't wanna hold it for that long 🥱”
kageyama:
LEAVES HIS BEARD HAIR IN THE SINK AFTER SHAVING. oh my god, i am making myself angry rn. you rinse it out every single time and when you ask him if he knows what happens to all of his little trimmings, he’s just like “idk....i guess they just evaporate or slide down over time” when you literally clean up after him like a maid :I he makes me sick (inspired by that one tiktok of the oblivious husband and knowing wife)
bokuto:
doesnt understand politics so he just labels himself as “non-political” which comes across as him just being douchey :/ it makes him look so ignorant when he first tells you :/ like a man who thinks he’s too good to be socially and politically aware bc it doesn't affect him / when in reality, politics just really isn't his forte academically and he’s never learned the basics of it :/ because he is really smart ok i stand by this!!!! he’s a scholar and a college grad...he just only focuses on his areas of interest. take a gov course baby expand ur horizons
akaashi:
if you ask him those silly hypothetical relationship questions (the ones where you just want him to say something sweet, something that proves he loves you) he is not having it in the slightest. you ask him “would you still love me if i was a worm?” and he’s deadly serious like “no? one, that's not even possible. two, if i’m ever attracted to a worm then i need to be constrained and arrested. three, i think that’s really wrong for you to expect me to seamlessly deal with that big of a transition in our relationship--” and you have to be like OH MY GODDD OKAYYYYY IT WAS A TEST!!!  AND YOU FAILED!!!
kuroo:
millennial core LOLLLLLLL im sorry. he posts a pic of him after he gets his hair cut and captions it “just did a thing! :P” EWWWW my toes are curling rn. he takes his selfies from the highest mom facebook angle and does the signature middle aged white man smirk. if he ever films a video of himself it’s so cringy bc he does the millennial zoom in and talks as if he’s a movie protagonist. attends a single work meeting and claims he’s “adulting 😂” at the ripe age of 27
oikawa:
when he really likes you, he does that thing where he's like "you're just not like other girls/people!!!! you're so different!!!!!!" you do basic human things like don't constantly wear makeup or eat whatever you please and he's like "i love how you can be so real around me, you're so quirky <3" you shave your legs or do your hair and he’s like “baby you don’t have to do all of this for me!!!!” he’s never touched a woman in his life. self unaware king 
iwaizumi: 
swears that period cramps are not that bad and that people who get periods over-exaggerate to make men (or people who don’t get periods in general) feel guilty about not dealing with them. believes with his entire chest that “getting kicked in the balls” is equivalent to the pain of childbirth. one day you jokingly buy one of those period cramp simulator machines and hook him up to it. he's all “i’m gonna be fine babe” and “it probably just feels like a stomach ache”.... he doesnt get past the 3rd setting and is holding back tears when you finally turn it off 
4K notes · View notes
meetmymouth · 9 months
Text
leave the door open...
Tumblr media
The dishwasher makes a weird noise as Harry presses the button, and she lets out a sigh, wiping her hands on her joggers much to Harry's dismay. There's a few seconds where they just stare at each other, and he lets out a chuckle, turning behind so he can put the kettle on.
It'd only been six months.
Two months during him on tour that they'd been in a relationship, and four months post tour–and four weeks of living together in his London flat–. She knew him for a few years, having met in New York through mutual friends, including her short-term-girlfriend at the time, so living with him, or being with him hasn't been too different.
She loved it.
They both did, especially now that he was off tour.
They argued over silly things, like who would cook that night, or the temperature of the room, or how she forgets to unload the dishwasher– 'the light tells you when it's done, babe', 'well I don't come in the kitchen and look at the bloody dishwasher so excuse me for forgetting a couple of times, Harry'.
They've never been one of those couples who felt very shy around each other. Perhaps it's to do with the fact that they're both confident in their relationship, and the fact that they're very laid back.
After a night out with her girlfriends couple of weeks ago, she presents a new 'conflict' in their relationship: Farting.
She'd found him sitting in bed after coming in, glasses on as he typed away on his laptop. After a few kisses, cuddles, and a few more kisses, she looks up at him with determination in her eyes.
"What?"
"Why do you never fart around me?"
"What?" Harry had laughed. In fact, she had to wait for him to calm down for more than ten minutes.
Harry had continued, face confused but still chuckling. "Where is this coming from?"
"Michael farted after the third-month mark. So did Nick. And Jen."
"Baby, are you upset that I... don't fart?"
"I'm sure you do!" She'd waved her arms around. "But never around me, Harry. Are you embarassed? Are you not comfortable with me? What is it?"
"You're– baby," he'd held her hands to his chest. "I love you. I guess I just... don't really fart?"
"What?"
"I mean, I might've done it couple of times when we're asleep or rather... when you're asleep. I didn't– why have you never farted around me then, hm?"
And that was it.
They'd laugh about it, and it was over.
It was silly.
Now, though, Harry really enjoyed being 'nasty' around her.
He's such a boy when he farts in bed, under the covers, and threatens to lift up the covers since 'you wanted me to fart so bad'.
Another thing he's been doing lately is, leaving the door ajar when he's in the toilet.
Now, she wouldn't mind if he was just weeing.
Or doing something else– anything else other than... number two.
It's not that she minds it, it's... she's rather confused.
So, with the kettle on, she gets their favourite mugs out, and Harry excuses himself to go to the toilet.
She knows why, because she'd figured his toilet habits out by now.
Every night around this time, he would be in the toilet for about ten minutes.
He goes, not without kissing her on the lips, and she can't help but laugh when she doesn't hear the door shut properly.
Five minutes pass, and she looks at their empty mugs, wanting to pour the water when he's back.
She's about to call for him when he beats her to it.
"Baby?"
"Yeah?" She looks in the direction of the downstairs toilet, as if she would see him.
"I need toilet paper."
"Fuck sake, Harry–" she puts her phone down on the counter, and walks upstairs, and grabs a few before making her way downstairs.
She stops in front of the door.
"Helloooooo," Harry drawls. "I need to wipe my ass."
"Why do you leave the door open like that?" She thinks out loud.
Harry lets out a groan. "Baby give me the toilet paper."
"Ahh, bet it stinks in there, H."
"Come on."
She goes inside, and hands him one.
Can't help but laugh at the sight of him just sitting there, hair messy and forehead extra-shiny.
"Okay," she pauses.
"Okay... I'll wipe my ass now if you just... y'know?" Harry looks up at her.
She realises how vulnerable he is at the moment.
"I could easily punch your dick right now," she murmurs, leaning against the door, and it closes shut with a click.
"You're so– why would you even say that– baby I fucking need to wipe my ass, just leave."
"No, I think this," she lets out a laugh when she notices him opening the toilet paper. "This is a level up in our relationship! I've never been inside the toilet while you poo."
"Farting and now pooing, you're so fucking weird. Okay, I'll–"
They just stare at each other for a moment before Harry lets out a sigh.
"I don't know how to do– please don't look."
"You've never wiped your ass?"
"Babe, what the fuck, of course I have," Harry says, through gritted teeth. "Just never in front of an audience!"
"Why do you leave the door ajar, then, you twat!"
"It makes me feel less lonely when I can properly hear you do things around the flat, for fuck's sake, just–" he moves his hand. "Just don't look."
She laughs, feeling a bit sorry for him. "Okay, I'm sorry, wait– I'll leave. I'm really sorry, I now realise this is... weird," she laughs, and turns around, hand on the door handle.
"No– don't leave."
"What?"
"Ah, fuck, we're so disgusting as a couple," he laughs.
She leans against the door, but her eyes are focused on the tiles.
She waits until she hears the flush.
"I can't believe you wanted to watch me wipe my ass," Harry finds her gaze in the mirror.
"It's not– wow, that sounds so creepy, please don't ever say that. I didn't want to watch you–" she shudders visibly. "Please don't say that, wow."
"Creepy?" He laughs, wiping his hands before he turns to her, and grabs her cheeks, smushing them. "Disgusting more like."
"Okay, please don't kiss me– you just done a huge poo and it's very stuffy in here–"
"Oh, fuck off, get out!"
1K notes · View notes
ewanmitchellcrumbs · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
Best Intentions - Chapter One
Pairing: Tom Bennett (World on Fire) x femme Warnings: Angst. Smut. Mentions of shell shock and trauma. Word count: ~4.3k
Summary: An overview of how Tom and her came to be friends, and the set up for the story now that he's returned to Longsight. Series masterlist.
Author's note: I don't have a tag list. Please follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications. Community labels are for cops.
The imposing red brick building of Plymouth Grove Primary School is gigantic and intimidating to her as she enters through the gates to the playground, the thought of being left here for the entire day makes her clutch at her mum’s hand with tight desperation.
Her first day of school is one she’ll never forget, forever imprinted in her mind, owing to a big pair of blue eyes filled with mischief, and a grin with a pair of front teeth that remind her of a rabbit’s.
It’s morning break as she surveys the playground nervously, trying to decide if she feels brave enough to join in on a nearby game of hopscotch. It’s then that she feels a warm puff of air ruffle the back of her hair, and she spins around to see a sandy haired boy running back towards a group of laughing lads.
“I did it! I gobbed in her hair!” He shouts.
Humiliation warms her skin as tears prickle her eyes, and she hurries inside to the girls’ toilets to unsuccessfully try to locate where the offending spittle has landed, all the while sniffling back sobs.
It’s when dinnertime comes and she sits unhappily sipping her milk that she sees him again. He sidles up to her, alone this time, a sheepish look on his face.
“I didn’t really,” he shifts awkwardly from foot to foot, “Gob in your hair, I mean. I was dared to, so I pretended,”
“Oh,” is all she’s able to manage, not sure of what else to say.
“I’m Tom. Mates, yeah?” He says with his bunny toothed grin, and she can’t help but smile back.
He sits himself next to her, opening his own milk and they spend the remainder of the hour getting to know each other.
She’s surprised to learn that it’s his first day too, she had assumed from his confidence that he would be a couple of years above her. He lives with his dad, Douglas, who works as a bus conductor, his mum - Josie, and his sister, Lois, who is a couple of years above them.
He learns all about how she lives with her mum, and it’s just the two of them as her dad had passed away when she was a baby. Her mum runs the shop off of Stamford Road with her uncle, who lives in the flat above it.
Tom’s eyes light up at the mention of this. “The one with the jars of sherbet straws?”
“Yeah,” she smiles, “And treacle toffees!”
By half past three that afternoon, as the children file back out of the school gates, her and Tom are firm friends.
Her mum and Josie stand waiting to collect them, and they discover that they live only a few streets apart, so the four of them and Lois walk home together, chattering excitedly about her and Tom’s first day of school.
From that day forward, the thought of being at school for the entire day fills her with excitement. Tom makes it a less scary place to be, and is quick to defend her if ever anyone tries to give her trouble.
Their friendship remains solid as the years pass, as does Tom’s compulsion for finding trouble. He adores showing off and being the centre of attention, but it’s always her he runs to when it’s time to face the consequences. She is a privy to a side of him that nobody else is, she has seen his fear, his sadness and his doubt.
They sit on the wall adjacent to her mum’s shop, a paper bag rustling between them as they help themselves to sherbet straws. Tom and Lois had walked home with her and her mum. Josie hadn’t been there to pick them up, she hadn’t been for a few days now.
“Should probably go home soon,” she slurs around a mouthful of sweets, “Need to do my homework.”
Tom nods slowly, moving his own sweet around in his mouth. “D’you…d’you think you could help me with mine?”
“Why?” She chides, “‘Cause you spent all lesson mucking about?”
“Come on,” he pleads, “Me mam’s not well, last thing she needs is me getting into trouble because I can’t do sums.”
She clicks her tongue and sighs. “Fine,” she says, jumping down from the wall.
“Smashing,” he grins, following after her.
She smiles over her shoulder at him. “What are mates for?”
Josie’s illness worsens and she passes away around the time that they start secondary school.
Tom’s behaviour becomes more uncontrollabe, exacerbated by his mum’s death, but with her and Lois at the all girls school, and him at the all boys, there is little that can be done to stop him.
Things come to a head one day when Douglas opens the door to an angry neighbour, who berates him for Tom having stolen the milk from their doorstep, running away laughing, before dropping and smashing it when they’d chased after him.
He’d come to her after Douglas had given him a stern telling off, head bowed and looking sorry for himself.
“He hates me,” Tom had said sullenly.
“He doesn’t hate you, Tom, you just need to behave yourself. Why’d you do it?”
“Was dared to,” he says with a shrug.
“Like when you spat in my hair?”
He presses his lips together, lowering his eyes. “I dunno why I do it. It’s just hard since mam’s gone, dad doesn’t understand me like she did.”
It’s then that she notices the tears that rim his eyes, and she pulls him into a hug.
When had he gotten so tall? He feels massive compared to how he used to.
“Thanks,” he whispers, “I’m glad we’re mates.”
The next few years follow a similar pattern; Tom gets into trouble and immediately runs to her each time, basking in the safety of her presence and comforting words.
As they grow older, Tom’s misbevaiour evolves into petty crimes which soon attract the attention of the police.
She also begins to notice the smell of cigarette smoke clinging to him each time she pulls him into a hug, a troubling new habit he’s developed, no doubt to impress the older boys. 
He now seems impossibly tall, and with every inch he grows it feels like he pulls a little bit further away from her. It makes her heart ache.
She grows used to seeing him walking home in the mornings looking bedraggled, a cigarette perched between his lips, after having spent the night in the back of a pub to avoid the police, who would no doubt have been knocking at the door of the Bennett household the previous evening.
When news of war having broken out in Europe reaches them and lads Tom’s age begin signing up to the draft, Tom decides he’s having none of it.
“Signing up as a conchie!” He tells her, as they sit on the wall together, waving the green booklet for emphasis.
“Your dad was a conscientious objector,” she says, narrowing her eyes in disbelief, “Your beliefs are suddenly the same as his are they?”
Tom tuts, flicking his lighter absentmindedly. “Just don’t wanna sign my life away for a load of bollocks that’s got naff all to do with me,”
His mind soon changes once the police come knocking again. He enlists in the Navy, action he considers less direct than fighting on the front lines.
The night before he’s due to ship out, he has a rowdy celebration in the local pub, jeering and clinking glasses with those who’ve not yet joined the draft. She watches on with a heavy feeling in her chest, she knows behind all his claims of how many Germans he’s going to kill and how he’ll have a bird in every port that he’s terrified of what’s to come.
That much is proven as he walks her home later that night, unsteady on his feet and reeking of beer. He sways in front of her once they reach her front door, big blue eyes misty and filled with emotion.
“You okay, sailor?” She asks with a soft smile.
“Can I– can I stay the night?” He asks, suddenly seeming like the little boy he was back when they were in primary school and he’d apologised for pretending to spit in her hair. “I don’t wanna be alone.”
She’s never shared a bed with Tom before. They’ve always been just friends. Her throat runs dry at the thought, but in that moment he seems so vulnerable, she can’t deny him anything.
They creep up the rickety wooden stairs to her bedroom, careful not to wake her mum, and squeeze into the single bed that occupies the space. He clings tightly to her, long limbs wrapped around her, like a drowning man grasping onto a lifesaver.
“I’m so scared,” he whispers into the darkness.
“You’ll come back,” she reassures him, “You have to, who else would be my mate?”
She feels him smile against her shoulder. “Yeah, who else would put up with you?”
They giggle, before shushing each other as she elbows him in the ribs, and they fall asleep curled around each other.
Tom’s gone when wakes up.
They write letters back and forth to each other, but each one feels distant and lifeless. He’s writing with the mask he shows to the rest of the world, giving an emotionless recount of each of his days. She supposes he might be afraid or whose hands his words may end up in, and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself, so she clings to every letter, vapid as they are, grateful to still have a connection to him.
She visits the Bennett household once a week, to share the letters they’ve been exchanging - to her disappointment, the ones she receives are much the same as the ones he sends home to Douglas and Lois.
Over time, her mum and uncle join her on her visits. Her mum brings cakes and her uncle gets into the habit of playing cards with Douglas. She is glad for the closeness between their two families, it makes Tom’s absence seem less daunting.
It’s at the Bennetts’ house where she learns the news of the attack on the HMS Exeter, the Naval ship that Tom is stationed aboard. Her blood runs icy cold at the news, though the Exeter was victorious it is not without deaths and casualties.
The weeks spent waiting for news are agonising, and it’s Tom she’s thinking of as she leans against the shop counter, eyes fixed on the large front window, but too lost in her thoughts to see through it.
“Quarter of sherbet straws when you’re not away with the fairies,”
The familiar voice startles her out of her reverie and she looks up wide eyed at Tom’s smiling face.
God, he’s grown into those bunny teeth. Has his smile always been so handsome?
“Tom!” She squeals, rushing from behind the counter and throwing her arms around his neck. “Do your dad and Lois know you’re back?”
He hugs her warmly before pulling back. “Yeah, popped home first to say hello. Left me new bird there, actually, thought you’d wanna meet her?”
She hates the way her heart sinks at this, but nods regardless, flipping the closed sign on the shop door and locking it behind her.
Tom tells her all about the Battle of the River Plate as they walk back to his house. He grows solemn when he’s finished, glancing sideways at her.
“I saw people die,” he says quietly, “I thought I was gonna die. Can’t believe there’s so much of my life I’ve pissed up the wall.”
It’s then that she notices how much more mature he seems, wise beyond his years. He’s seen things that no man his young age should have seen. She reaches for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, a gesture which he returns.
“So, this is Vera,” he gestures towards the kitchen table as they head inside.
She laughs, relief washing over her, when she sees the little canary sitting in her cage.
For a few days it feels like everything is back to normal, until Tom gets a new posting and has to leave again.
“I’ll come back,” he tells her, taking her hands in his, “who else would be your mate?”
She can’t help but smile. “No one else would put up with me,”
He’s away longer this time, his letters are fewer and the worry gnaws at her with more intensity than ever before.
For the second time in her life she cries over Tom Bennett when she hears that he’s been declared as missing in action on the beaches of Dunkirk, a suspected capture by opposing forces.
Lois falls pregnant, and for a time the advancing stages of her pregnancy and eventual birth are a welcome distraction, a reminder that there is life amongst all the death that surrounds them.
Her grief is amplified when bombs fall over Manchester, a bottomless pit opening in her gut when she finds out that there was a direct hit on the Bennett house. Her uncle and Douglas had been inside playing cards at the time, neither had survived.
Her mum moves Lois and her baby into the flat above the shop, with her uncle gone the space is no longer occupied and it makes sense for them to have it, considering they no longer have a roof over their heads.
It’s comforting to have them so close, a little piece of Tom to hold onto until he comes back, if he comes back. She hates herself for thinking it.
When Tom next steps through the shop door, there’s no trace of his grin from last time. He looks skinny, haunted, he’s aged. There’s an anger within his blue eyes that replaces the mischief that used to sparkle there.
He doesn’t need to ask for her to know what he’s after. There will be no hugs of greeting this time.
“She’s upstairs,” she says softly, her stomach tied into knots.
He simply nods and walks towards the back to go up.
It doesn’t take long for her to be able to hear the muffled sounds of arguing and not five minutes later he storms back downstairs and out into the street. She follows after him, grabbing the quarter of sherbet straws she’d bagged up for him.
He’s sat smoking on their usual spot on the wall, and she hops up beside him, placing the paper bag between them. He doesn’t touch them. She wonders when the last time he ate anything at all was, he looks so thin.
The silence between them feels painful, she doesn’t know what to say, but she can tell from the way his hands shake and the urgency with which he drags on his cigarette that if she doesn’t say something then he certainly won’t.
“You can’t be angry with Lois, y’know,” she says gently, “it’s not her fault,”
“Then whose is it?!” He snaps angrily, eyes narrowing as he looks at her.
He’s never spoken to her like that before and she shrinks away from it. “It’s not my fault either,” she whispers sadly.
His face softens, a look of shame replacing his anger as he averts his gaze, his lips twitching. “Sorry about your uncle,”
“Sorry about your dad,”
His return is brief, only a couple of days this time. Enough time for him to visit Douglas’ grave, but not enough for them to talk, not properly anyway. He reveals that he was taken to an American hospital in Paris, after being shot in Dunkirk. A woman named Henriette had helped him to escape France and he’d made his way home via Spain. It’s all so matter of fact the way that he recounts it, but she only has to look into his eyes to see the turmoil he’s feeling. It crushes her.
He looks fearful and uncertain when they say goodbye, the urge to cling to him and beg him not to go is overwhelming.
“You’ll still be here when I get back, won’t you?” He asks.
“Course I will, I always am,” she replies with a sad smile.
He cups her cheek, his large palm engulfing her face and leans down to press his lips to hers. She startles at first, they have never kissed before, but she quickly reciprocates, moving her mouth against Tom’s. His lips are so soft and there is a tenderness behind the gesture that brings tears to her eyes.
She’s breathless when they part, his forehead resting against hers, his hand still cupping her cheek.
“Mates, yeah?” He whispers.
The word makes her heart twinge. “Yeah, mates.”
Her fingers trace lightly across her mouth as she watches him walk away, kit bag slung over his shoulder.
Tom sends no letters at all the third time he leaves, so eventually she stops writing to him. She figures it can’t be nice for him to hear about how life is carrying on without him, how his niece has started to walk and talk, a new house built in place of his old one with a new family living inside it.
She can’t bear how the world continues, while she feels stuck in place, waiting for his return. It isn’t fair that there are people getting to laugh and love and live their lives, while he’s sacrificing his so that they may have the privilege.
With the exception of the morning paper sort, her mum has taken a step back from the shop, needing more rest than usual, and without her uncle around to help out, she’s taking on more hours in order to keep things ticking over. The sweet jars sit empty, rationing is difficult to get used to. She’ll never be able to come to terms with sending people away without the food they want and need, simply because the shop either doesn’t have enough stock, or they have already used their allotted portion for the week.
Her mind drifts back to how skeletal Tom had looked when she’d seen him last. She hopes he’s managing to eat.
It’s the beginning of September, the dying embers of summer glow dark orange on the horizon, as the evening battles the day for dominance in the increasingly earlier darkening of the sky.
Lois is on an evening shift, so her mum is round at the flat looking after the little one. She has the house to herself, and has lost count of the amount of times she’s read and re-read the same passage in her book, unable to take the words in.
She frowns when she hears the door knock, unsure of whether she should answer it or not, she’s not expecting anyone. Her hesitation provides enough time for a second knock, more urgent this time, so she relents, going to the front door and opening it.
It feels as though time freezes when she sees Tom standing there, gaunt and tired looking.
He doesn’t give her time to react, dropping his kit bag to the floor as he closes the door behind him and presses a bruising kiss to her lips. His hands pull at her clothes as he backs her towards the living room sofa, and she lets him.
She just needs to feel that he’s real, that he’s really back, so she loses herself in the moment, allowing him to climb on top of her, her own hands moving to strip him as he does the same to her.
Her fingertips stroke down his back and she’s shocked to find she can feel every vertebrae in his spine, and all the ribs that protrude through the skin. She’s never touched him in such an intimate manner before, but she knows he’s never been so emaciated. He feels hollow, yet there is strength to how he manhandles her.
Pulling her thighs apart, he settles between them, pushing her open with the thickness of his cock. She gasps, arching against him, clutching tightly to his shoulders as he pistons his hips in quick succession against hers. This is no gentle lovemaking, it is filled with raw animalistic need, a desire to feel something, anything.
His breaths are ragged against her neck and he finds release quickly, spilling inside of her with a grunt before collapsing and pulling her tight to his chest.
They lay quietly on the sofa together, nothing but the sounds of their heavy breathing filling the space. She has a thousand questions she longs to ask him, yet none of them seem appropriate. Despite the fact that Tom has just brutally had his way with her, she’s still in shock that he’s returned.
“I’m sorry I never wrote,” he says eventually, “was tired of never having any good news to tell you,”
“You’re back now,” she says quietly, fingers tracing over the bullet wound scar in his shoulder, “that’s all that matters,”
“Still mates then?” He asks.
Her heart lurches at the word. Is that all they are after what’s just happened?
“Yeah, still mates,”
He drifts to sleep in her arms and she holds him, until his thrashing pushes her from the sofa. She lands with a heavy thud on the living room carpet, watching in horror as Tom’s sweaty body writhes and cries out in terror in his sleep.
She kneels beside the sofa, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder to still him and coax him awake. He startles, wide eyed, before clutching at her, burying his face in her neck and sobbing until he drifts into unconsciousness again.
As Tom settles back into life in Longsight, he goes right back to wearing a mask for everyone.
“Are you a hero?” Children shout as he walks down the street.
“Always have been, always will be,” he says with a lopsided grin.
Yet each day ends with him muffling his cries into her neck after she’s soothed his night terrors, she knows better than the act he puts on for everyone else’s benefit. She suspects that Tom may be suffering from shell shock, but doesn’t dare to bring it up. Knowing his father had the same, it is likely a sore subject for him.
His return sees a new development in their friendship, them sleeping together the night he came back isn’t a one off occurrence, yet each time he still continues to refer to her as a mate. It’s confusing for her, but not an issue she wishes to push, knowing that Tom is struggling with enough already. He’ll figure it out when he’s ready, she just needs to be there for him.
Tom gets a flat nearby, and finds a job at the local garage. Having served in the Navy has imparted mechanical skills to him, and he can easily work his way around an engine.
She sits perched on the workbench of the garage, admiring the view. Tom’s sandy coloured hair is pushed back from his forehead, his navy overalls tied around his waist, leaving him in just the white vest he wears underneath. His first customer of the day has yet to arrive, so he’s clean for now. She bites her lip at the thought of how dirty he’ll be by the end of the day.
It has become routine for her to spend a few mornings a week watching him work - her mum has never gotten out of the habit of insisting she wants to open the shop and sort the morning papers before heading home, so she is left to her own devices most days until the early afternoon. Tom doesn’t seem to mind having her hang around the garage.
When a car pulls in, a portly gentleman stepping out, Tom walks to greet him.
“It keeps overheating, I can’t understand why,” he explains to Tom.
“I’ll take a look for ya, mate. Come back in an hour, yeah?”
The man looks over at her with slight concern. “Will she…uh…be assisting you?”
Tom grins. “Nah, she’s just a mate, won’t let her near your motor, don’t worry.”
Just a mate.
She thinks back to how he’d knelt behind her not long after they’d woken up, just a couple of hours ago, pulling her hips back to meet each of his thrusts.
Just a mate.
Mates don’t do that.
Tom’s voice breaks her out of her thoughts. “Stupid old sod, just needs to put coolant in the engine. Gonna tell him I replaced the fan belt and charge him extra.”
She giggles, shaking her head. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”
He gives an easy shrug. “He’s loaded, he can afford it.”
She sighs, looking at her watch. “I’d better push off, mum’ll be expecting me at the shop. I’ll see you later, yeah?”
“Probably not,” Tom says. “Booked solid tomorrow, but come round to mine after?”
She nods, waving and walking away. She’s used to Tom letting her know when the garage will be busy, so makes a point to stay away so he’s not distracted.
It’s not until the end of the day, when she fishes around in her pocket for the keys to lock up the shop that she realises she has Tom’s lighter. She’s too tired to pop round and drop it off at his, so decides she’ll swing by the garage in the morning to give it back.
Her fingers wrap around it in her pocket, preparing to take it out to hand back as she approaches the garage the next morning.
She stops in her tracks when she sees a sleek black motor car parked in the vehicle bay, a tall, sophisticated, beautiful woman standing beside it. Her perfectly manicured nails stroke down Tom’s bare arm as her ruby red lips pull back into a smile.
Her heart lurches in her chest as she watches him reach out to tuck a strand of the woman’s long, dark hair behind her ear.
Her throat tightens, nausea bubbles in her stomach as she turns and walks away, the lighter long forgotten. It feels as though the bottom of her world has been ripped away. She angrily swipes at the wetness that rims her eyes.
Just mates.
Fine, if that’s what Tom wanted then that’s all they’d ever be.
438 notes · View notes
russellsppttemplates · 8 months
Text
Papa loves you so much, princess (Mick Schumacher)
Mick and Y/N find out their family is growing
Note: english is not my first language. this is another long piece that I hope you enjoy! I have been talking about this since January, so this is ver long overdue!
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Tw: mentions reader's period and pregnancy
Getting up from the bed, you were fortunately quick enough to reach the bathroom in time to pour your guts out on the toilet, leaning on the toilet's side to support your torso. You were already up by the time Mick walked inside the bathroom, his sleepy expression with some traces of concern, "I told you I shouldn't have had that last piece of dessert", you pointed your finger at him through the mirror while you splashed your face, "you kept looking at it like you were a dog that was abandoned on the road, and then when I asked if you wanted my piece, I swear I saw happy tears in your eyes", your husband teased you, rubbing your back in a comforting manner, "do you want me to get you anything?", he asked, "just some cuddles in bed should do the trick", you muttered, allowing him to carry you back to the bed for a few more hours of hopefully uninterrupted sleep.
.
After leaving work, you stopped by the grocery store since you and Mick had noticed you were running low and running out of a few items at home, "we just had a snack break and the next part of the meeting should be the last one, I'm sorry I'm not helping you", he said over the phone while you browsed the aisles, "it's okay, handsome. You can still help me out here, though. I'm the cleaning section and I already have dish soap and the spray for the wooden cabinets, anything else?", you asked, earning a negative answer from him, "no, that's all I think. Next is the bathroom one, right? We are running low on toilet paper, and I used the last plaster yesterday. You only had one box of tampons in the cabinet so given that you are about to have your period, see if you need more of them", he pointed out, grabbing your attention to the matter. It should have started by now, you checked the date on your watch. And you were never late.
"We also need those tissues you keep on your bedside table, I used some today and I noticed they were the last ones", you could hear the smile on his voice, "alright, bub. I'll see you at home, have a good meeting!", you dialed off, grabbing the things he mentioned before looking at the pharmacy section.
You were never late, so it had to be this, right? Barring any other health situations, all of your symptoms aligned with pregnancy symptoms: you had been nauseous, feeling sick (and maybe it wasn't the stolen dessert's fault), you kept falling asleep whenever you rested on the sofa at home and Corinna had complimented the way one of your summer dresses fitted you, claiming that the neckline looked beautiful on you. And you and Mick had been trying, not with a whole calendar but rather just not using protection and seeing where it led you, and maybe this was it. Grabbing two boxes for the sake of it, you put them in your shopping trolley before heading to the till to pay for everything so you could go home.
When Mick got home, dinner was already on the table while you also fed Angie her own dinner, his kiss on your forehead coming with an apology for having arrived just in time for it, "no need to apologise, myself and miss Angie kept ourselves busy", you petted her soft fur before heading to wash your hands, joining Mick at the table and enjoying the meal.
"Does it taste okay to you?", you asked Mick, the taste of the broccoli seemingly off to you, "yes, tastes like this dish always tastes. It's very good, why do you ask?", he questioned, "I don't know, tastes funny to me", you mumbled, using your fork and knife to push the green vegetable to the edge of your plate, "maybe you got a bad one", he noted. That was another symptom, you thought, remembering when one of your friends couldn't eat her favourite meal while she was pregnant because she claimed it tasted different.
"Actually, I've been having a few symptoms, and they are all compatible with-", you were interrupted by your husband, "pregnancy", he smiled, seeing your brushed and stunned face, "I've noticed them too. You haven't told me you are craving your usual sweets when you're on your period, your boobs look even more amazing but the moment I so much as graze my finger in the skin you hiss because of the pain, you're not one to take naps during the day but the moment your head hits the pillow you're out like a light, and it's not common for you to have a bad stomach", he reasoned, making you blush even harder, "Why didn't you say something though?", you asked softly.
Mick shrugged his shoulders, "I just didn't want to burden you, or maybe I was keeping my hopes up and I didn't want to ruin yours, or point out something about your body like that, I'd never want to do so in a way that could be harmful", he answered apologetically, making your get up and go sit on his lap, "you could've said something, I wouldn't be offended, I think anyway, apparently pregnant women get mood swings so I can't speak for sure", you shrugged your shoulders, "truth is, I got some pregnancy tests at the store today because I also thought the same thing, but I wanted to do them with you", you looked at him, "but I don't know how to deal with this hope, like, I could just have some bug, but it is also true that everything checks out...", you fiddled and played with his fingers, "we take it step by step, if you'd like", your husband began softly, "and if you're not pregnant, we can keep trying", he explained, grabbing your hand once you nodded, heading to the bathroom so you could do the tests.
The plastic sticks were on the counter, Angie lying on the bathroom floor while Mick sat on the edge of the tub wirh you on his lap, "just a little bit more, liebling", he kissed the side of your head, "I'm sorry", you whispered, gaining his questioning look, "if I'm not pregnant, I got both of our hopes up for nothing", you explained, feeling his fingers lift your chin up to look into his eyes, "no need to apoligise, liebling. We just keep trying, it's not like we mind trying", he winked, looking at his watch to see the time was up, "I'm ready when you are", he said soflty.
You got up, picking up the sticks and seeing that both of them had the same information, "it won't be trying for a baby, but I've heard that sex while you're pregnant is a whole another level of sensations", you smiled at Mick, showing him the positive results.
"We're having a baby?", Mick mumbled, still not sure if he had grasped what you said in the right way, "we are, baby Schumacher is going to be here in nine months", you cried out, smiling as Mick cuddled you, his arms circling your before spinning you, "Angie! You're going to be a big sister!", Mick said once he put you down.
.
"I remember reading about these old wives' that help you guess the gender of the baby, and your grandmother did some on me for both of you and they turned out pretty accurate, I think", Corinna said as she sat in the outdoor sofa in front of you.
Since Gina was visiting, you and Mick decided to invite her and Corinna to spend the day together, Angie sitting next to her auntie while you sat next to Mick, "Oh, that would be fun!", Gina said as she straightened her back, picking up her phone so she could look them up on the Internet while Corinna started with the ones she knew, "they say that if you have a pointed belly towards the front, it means you're having a boy, and if you have a rounder bump and wider hips, it means it's a baby girl", she said, seeing Mick quickly ask for you consent before he helped you stand as he lifted your t-shirt, "what do we think? Pointy or not so much?", you did a turn around yourself, "I think it's rounder", Mick said earning a nod from his mother, "me too", Gina said, "but I've always had wider and rounder hips", you tried to reason as Gina wrote girl and a stick next to it to help count.
"The next one was that sweet cravings were sign of a baby girl, and salty cravings were sign of a baby boy", and Mick wiped the smug smile off his face, "I've been eating a lot of savoury stuff", you nudged your husband while his sister wrote down the tie.
Gina opened the lunar calendar on her phone while the four of you looked at all the details they asked for, "it's a girl according to this one!", Mick yelled way too close to your ear, "another point for babygirl then", you said, cuddling back to his side and giggling at everyone's exciting.
You saw and tested a couple more and, without realising it, you tried the last one without noticing it was the last, only for it to make another tie between babyboy and babygirl, "so that's it?", Mick said, not expecting it to turn out like this, "you just have to wait and see, you know, like all the people do because you can know for sure on the ultrasound", Gina teased him.
.
Once you got to the OB/GYN, Mick offered to go get you checked in at the desk while you went to find a comfortable chair to sit in while you waited, "final bet: are they a baby boy or a baby girl?", Mick said once he sat down with you, his hand holding yours to calm down your nervous thoughts. The ultrasounds always made you nervous, always wondering if everything was alright and as it should be, so having Mick there to support you and distract you was appreciated, "I think they're a baby boy, and he looks like his papa", you cradled his cheek on your palm, "I think they're a baby girl, and she has your kindness and empathy. It's just my gut feeling", he smiled, kissing the top of your head while he moved your conjointed hands to rest on your bump, feeling the baby kick, "not my chubby cheeks?", you playfully gasped, "what can I say? I think the Schumacher genes are much too strong", he teased you, looking up to the door when your name was called.
Entering the room and greeting your doctor, she asked you a couple of questions before asking you to lay on the little bed, the gel cold on your bump as she moved the wand around, "okay, everything looks good, strong heartbeat for little one and mother as well", she smiled, "I can see it. Do you still want to know?", she asked one last time, earning a nod from both you and Mick, "you're going to have a baby girl, congratulations!", she announced.
Your hand squeezed Mick's, feeling him press a kiss to the top of your head as you both looked at your baby on the screen, "we're having a little girl? Liebling, it's a little girl", he said, his eyes tearing up as he kept looking at the screen. Despite having feelings and guesses about it, neither of you didn't have any preference, feeling happy just with the idea that you were carrying a combination of you and Mick, but you couldn't help but get all goddy as you imagined Mick with a little daughter, knowing she would have him wrapped around her finger from the moment she was born. Even thinking now, she has him wrapped around her finger since you both found out you were pregnant.
"She looks good, there isn't anything that looks concerning. The measurements are all within the norm, everything looks good. Congratulations, mama and papa!", she smiled, "do you want copies to take home?".
While she went to get the slightly exaggerated number of copies of baby Schumacher (Mick wanted everyone that was important in his life to have one), your husband helped you clean the skin on your bump, "are you happy?", you looked at him, not seeing any signs of uneasiness but feeling his a little bit tense, "I am, liebling", he said, "but she's going to be here soon, you know? Little one is growing so fast, I can't believe we're past the half way point", he admitted, "I just don't want to disappoint any of you", he gulped, making you craddle his face with your hands, "My love, I know you and believe me, if how everything has gone until now is any indicator, we are going to have princess treatment", you smiled softly on an attempt to calm him, "thank you for sharing this with me, though. You can always share your worries with me, Mick", you finished, kissing his lips passionately, "I love you, liebling", he kissed you back, "and you little one, papa loves you so much, princess".
452 notes · View notes
pro-sipper · 4 months
Text
"Dead Dove: Do Not Eat"
About the tag, the origin, and why I think no one on either side of the fandom divide knows how to use it
First of all, I'm crosstagging because I think it's a general issue, not just something for pro or anti shippers. I see the tag get misused on both sides and I just wanted to throw my two cents in
So, where did the term originate? Like all culturally significant things online, it started as a meme. More specifically, a meme from the television show Arrested Development. Character A has put a dead dove into a brown paper bag to store in the family's fridge. On the bag, he has taped a sign that reads, in big bold letters, "DEAD DOVE. Do Not Eat!"
Tumblr media
Character B comes across the bag, reads the warning, and opens it anyway. When he's met with, you guessed it, a dead dove, he proclaims "I don't know what I expected".
This is an example of (and has since basically become the spiritual successor to) the "Exactly What It Says On The Tin" trope.
If you want to check out the full history and countless examples of the trope, please check out the page on tvtropes. But for a slightly shorter history - it originated in a British commercial for Ronseal's Quick Drying Woodstain, which the tin claimed "dried quickly". And in the commercial they told you "It does exactly what it says on the tin!" So, the tin says what the product does, then the product does it. You get the idea.
In fandom spaces, the trope just means that the title of Thing (be it movie, show, fanfic, etc) tells you exactly what happens IN Thing. If a show is called "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", you already know it's about a girl named Buffy who slays vampires. If the movie is called "Cocaine Bear", you can bet a bear will get into some cocaine at some point. If there's a fanfic called "Fluttershy Has Tea With Jesus"... you get the idea.
While both tags started out with the same intentions and meaning, I don't think it's any wonder that "dead dove do not eat" has been so easy to misinterpret. For one, "exactly what it says on the tin" sounds more straightforward. You don't have to understand the specific reference to infer it means to check the label (in this case, tags) before purchasing (opening) the product (fanfic)
But dead dove is harder to understand if you don't know the reference. And at a glance, it sounds much darker. Doves have symbolism in multiple religions, and are seen as a symbol of peace. A dead dove evokes images of gore, violence, general unpleasantness. It must only apply to something sinister, right?
The thing about "exactly what it says on the tin" is that the tin needs to say something. You can't point at a blank label and say "here's what you can expect". People would be much less likely to engage with your product if that were the case
In the same vein, slapping "dead dove do not eat" on a fic with no other tags can lead to confusion. In this tag's case, it's a warning. But what are you warning about if you don't also put it in the tags? It leaves people's minds to conjure up only grim and upsetting images of what might be in your fic. Especially when, as it's also common to do, the tag gets shortened to simply "dead dove".
And while, yes, the tag is most likely to get slapped onto fics with dark or upsetting subject matter, that means something different for everyone who comes across it.
Most people seem to think it only applies to inappropriate relationships (age gap, incest, etc). But I've seen it applied to a variety of things, from potentially triggering material (like suicide) to things that simply may not be everyone's cup of tea (like excessive gross-out toilet humor).
In the end, "dead dove do not eat" is a tag that, in my opinion, should not be used as a descriptor as to what type of content your story contains. But rather, a gentle warning to say "hey, I'm specifically telling you what you're about to encounter, so whatever happens next is up to you".
After all, if you read the warning and still open the bag to find something you don't like...
I don't know what you were expecting.
240 notes · View notes
9toji · 9 months
Note
May I please get some of THAT 116 Toji please
Tumblr media
1 — TOJI FUSHIGURO + PERVERT!
pairing; toji x fem! reader
warnings; toji is a big fat perv, slight nsfw, hints of masturbation, very dirty toji thoughts, toji charms his way into you(r life), a portion of it his imagination (its italicized), panty stealer
rina's comments ; this is sooo.. such a good idea, thank you so much for sending in this!! enjoy <3
Tumblr media
imagine toji, a sweet man who lives an apartment away from yours. exceptionally handsome, and may i say rugged. he has the build of a a boxer, always wearing tight black shirts and grey sweatpants, his eyes are always low and droopy whenever he talks to you. but he's a gentleman with charm, right?
he thinks its endearing, the way you don't even know his real intentions. that way, he can help you up whenever you stumble or trip, maybe a little contact with your clothed boobs and an unmistakable squeeze on your hips. toji taunts you too, taking your phone from your hand as you mindlessly scroll through it, “whatcha lookin' at?” he asks slowly, another smirk etching his face as you try to reach it from his grasp. seeing your cleavage was heaven, silently thanking you for your low-cut shirts.
you can't deny the fact his charm although used rarely works wonders on you, making you feel very warm and giggly around him. toji grins at you sleazily, saying that he's accustomed to smiling at people like that and that he's sorry, “might seem weird or creepy” he said. oh, but he doesn't smile like that at other people at all, some might say that you're the only one he smiles at.
your always tired looking neighbor always drops by the laundry inside the apartment building's basement at the same time you do, but he leaves earlier than you. which made you wonder why some of your underwear had been taken from your laundry basket. it's a mystery, who else would've gotten it?
can't be toji, he leaves early and the man is nice, too nice. toji always helps you in one way or another, dropping by your apartment with a handful of essential goodies, like toilet paper, or more tide pods for your laundry. he does it regularly, at early hours of the morning too.
but why? you had just woken up, wearing a spaghetti-strap night gown top and silk shorts. toji got that information when he did it the first time, reminding you about something regarding your plants and watering them. he saw the way you looked so sleepy, but took advantage of the way you were clothed before you wore casual shirts and pants. he loved the way you looked up, grinning sleazily. “good morning” he growled, masking it in a sweet, sweet tone.
eyes unknowingly traveling down to your chest and to your waist, licking his lips and chuckling, “my lips are kinda dry." toji giving you a headpat before you closed the door, and as he walks away to his apartment everyday, he makes sure to engrain your image into his mind for later.
toji gets itchy when you're off at work, wanting to see you as much as possible. that's where his piles of your “lost” panties come in handy. he leans back on to the wall while sitting down on his bed, pushing his shirt up with a shaky hand along with pulling down his greyish sweatpants. his hands grip on to his shaft, along with the piece of fabric that he had snatched away from you. you wouldn't know anyways.
his skillful hands wrap the spot where your cunt touched the fabric onto his dock, pleasuring himself has never been better he thought. it was so perfect, it never fails to make him cum, his right hand squeezing his length as he thought about you, smearing the pre-cum all over so it gets slippery.. “gonna cum on that pretty face of yours, yeah?” he grins, smearing his pre-cum on the fabric so that your panties could swiftly move up n down swiftly.
toji's groans are animalistic, “you.. you look so fuckin' good..” his eyes get teary, imagining you, with your wide eyes and cheery grin. hands wrapped around his cock, maybe he could see your pretty face get smeared with cum, hoping you'd take a fingerful and taste it. “gonna taste it? fuck, you.. whore.. fuckin' know you are." and when he cums, he puts the panties on his tip, cleaning it with it.
“toji.” you babble, hands messily gripping his cock. toji shook, his sweat dripping down his chest.. and his thighs twitched at your touch. “feel so good baby, shit–squeeze it a bit more f'me.” toji sighed, running his hand through his own locks, watching you help him please himself with those skillfull hands of yours.
a shaky sigh and the messy attempt to fix himself came soon after, knowing your arrival will be in an hour or two. he wouldn't want you hearing him groan, at least not yet. toji isn't close enough with you, he needs to be.. so that he can get exactly what he wants without looking like a pervert.
which he is, but for now you didn't need to know that.
Tumblr media
608 notes · View notes
cosmerelists · 5 months
Text
Cosmere Characters in Costco
The title says it all, really.
[Previously: Cosmere characters in Ikea]
1. Wayne & Marasi
Marasi: Wayne...is that another new hat? Wayne: Why yes, dearie. I'm now Egrid Sternsberger, a little old lady who simply must try one of those mini hamburgers! Marasi: ...I think they'll give you multiple samples if you just ask. You don't have to keep switching hats. Wayne: Now, where would be the fun in that?
2. Shallan, Veil, Radiant
Radiant: Now, remember--it requires a majority vote before we make any big impulse purchases. Shallan: This vodka bottle is the size of my torso and will therefore last a long time. Veil: That's a good reason. Radiant: ...I'll just get another cart.
3. Ham and Dockson
Ham: Hey, do you know where Kelsier went off to? For that matter, where's Vin? Dockson: [Points silently upwards, to where Vin & Kelsier crouch on top of those big, metal, Costco warehouse shelves, mistcloaks rippling] Dockson: They like to be high. Ham: W-We're inside! How is there a breeze?!
4. Lift & Wyndle
Lift: Man, that was great! Lift: I stole food from every one of those little stands and nobody caught me! Wyndle: Mistress, like I keep telling you, those stands are giving away the free samples! There was no need to-- Lift: I am the greatest thief of all time!
5. Painter and Yumi
Painter: Please let me get another cart. Yumi: I said we don't need another cart! Painter: Y-You've stacked the cart so high that people are afraid to come within six feet of us! Yumi: Who do you think you're talking to? I can go way higher than this! Painter: Yumi please
6. Adolin & Kaladin
Adolin: Ta-da! What do you think? Kaladin: About your...clothes? Adolin: Yeah! It's all from here! Adolin: I got shorts with lots of pockets, this colorful buttoned shirt, this big hat, these sunglasses--even these cool plastic shoes with holes for airflow AND these socks! Adolin: I am going to revolutionize fashion. Kaladin: ... Adolin: What? Even Wit liked it! Kaladin: I'll be going now. Adolin: Wait! I got a matching outfit for you too! Kaladin come baaaack!
7. Tress & Charlie
Tress: Wow, this one is amazing too! Tress: It's a bit bent and a bit stained, but you can really see that it's been on a journey. Tress: Oooh! This one's an interesting shape! I think it was for strawberries! Charlie: Man, and to think they just give all of these cardboard boxes away for free!
8. Navani & Rushu
Navani: That is...quite the tower of toilet paper. Rushu: How do you suppose they get the top ones down? Some kind of machine, presumably? Do you think it's stacked for space efficiency or is it meant to inspire awe, as well? Rushu: ...Should I take one from the bottom to see what happens? Navani: ...Just grab one of the ones with the bear on it, for now. Rushu: Later then?
9. Rock & Skar
Rock: I love this place! All the food is sized for a while squad! Rock: Look at this! It's a cooked chicken the size of my HEAD! Skar: I found a rack of ribs that would take two men to carry! Rock: Tonight's stew will be a true wonder.
10. Nale and Szeth
Nale: And here is what I wanted to show you--this icon of justice. Szeth: ...A hotdog the size of my forearm? Nale: Yes. Nale: Do you understand what I am trying to teach you? Szeth: Hotdogs are...justice? Nale: This one is. Nale: The owner declared that the price would remain in stone, and that no change would be permitted while he yet lived. Nale: Lack of change? An enduring ruling? A man willing to stake his life on it? Nale: It is a hotdog of justice indeed, Szeth.
243 notes · View notes
luveline · 5 months
Note
OMG need to see more of Steve drawing reader in the zombie au!!!
steve zombie au —steve draws you all the time. fem
Sometimes, you collapse under the weight of it all. A lot of bad things have happened to you, and the world in this state is overwhelming. You used to wake in a soft, warm bed, spend days surrounded by loved ones, eating and drinking when you needed to, when you wanted to, with no worrying about where your next tube of toothpaste or toilet paper was going to come from. 
These days, you wake, and it's into a world where you've seen agony, and inhumanity, and it's hard. You're his sweetheart and he doesn't care, he'll take care of you for the rest of his life, but there's only so much he can do. 
“Sure you don't need anything else?” he whispers, pulling the linen blankets up to your chin. 
“M'sure. Thanks, Steve.” 
He feels bad touching you when you're squirming. “Yeah, no problem. I'm just gonna sit outside and read, okay? I'll be right there.” 
“Okay,” you mumble, pressing your face into your pillow. 
Steve grabs his rucksack and drags himself outside of the tent. From here, the sea of tents, he can see the fire in the centre of camp leaching smoke into the air, and he can hear the unmistakable hum of hundreds of people in one place. He figures it to be almost like an army base, and the small amount of military personnel only cements that. 
Robin's off somewhere. He misses her more and more lately, not sure where she is, but you've been sick this week. He has to stay close to home. She'll be back tonight for sure to see you both. And Eddie, your new (and, to Steve's reluctance, good) friend, popped by to see you both an hour ago. You weren't in the mood to talk and so he mostly talked to Steve about the next run for supplies. 
You're loved, but you're lonely. You lost everyone you knew. 
You need time to mourn now you're somewhere safe enough to do it. 
Steve rummages through his rucksack for his novel, but he doesn't want to read it without you. Between that and his sketchbook, he has very little to do. Still, you'd brought him those nice pencils and a new skinny sketchbook full of smooth paper, and there are pages yet to fill. 
It's all you. Every inch of space. Your unknowing smile as Eddie showed you how to make an origami crane, or your stomach in the dark as your t-shirt rode up in sleep. Your hands clasped around one of his, squeezing, and the figure of your crouched by the river watching tiny fish swim by. You're in lilac, and sepia, and green, green-green-green, the darkest green pencil he has in want of a black detailing your pupils and the seam of your lips over and over. 
He looks in through the tent door and sketches the curve of your hip under the blanket. He could likely draw you head to toe and inch by inch without reference, or he likes to think it, having seen it all a hundred times, maybe more. You sigh in your dozing and curl inwards, and he starts again. 
He notices when you start to cry because he's focused on your shoulders as they tremble. Steve folds the pen between leaves of paper and shoves it all back into his bag. To comfort you or let you cry? Sometimes people just want to be left alone. 
“Steve?” you ask through a little sniffle. 
“Yeah, honey, I'm here.” 
“Will you come in here?” 
He must be doing something right if you're calling him in when you need him. Finally, something right. Steve crawls into the tent and presses your shoulders against the tent flooring, shaking his head at you. “It's okay,” he says, enthusing his voice with a light amount of loving ridicule. “What are you crying for, huh? You're okay.” 
“Yeah, I'm okay,” you agree, snuffling as he touches your cheek. 
“You are. You're okay. You're beautiful.” He goes sticky like syrup, praising. “I'd write you love letters if I had a pen.” 
“Yeah?” 
“Just talking about how pretty you are would take up ten pages. I keep trying to get it down, you know? So when I'm gone, they'll know someone as pretty as you was walking around loving on some loser,” —you laugh wetly and distract him— “right? So why are you crying?” 
“Just don't feel well.” 
“I don't blame you,” he says, nudging a tear off of your cheek with his thumb. 
“But,” you say, smiling at him weakly, “I have to keep my head up. Yes?” 
“Yeah, honey.” He swallows a funny lump. “God, you're fucking everything when you smile.”
It's not that he doesn't care, he wants to hear it, but you just don't know how to tell him. How do you verbalise a mountain of grief? So he rescues you instead, flirts and soothes the wound with a warm smile. You respond to it as he'd hoped and perk up with a couple of carefully pressed kisses. “Sorry,” he whispers. 
“Were you drawing me, before?” 
“How'd you guess that?” 
“You were really quiet. It's like you go somewhere else.” 
“Nah. Just with you.” He clears his throat. “Did you… wanna see?” 
“Really?” 
Steve would write an itemised list of all his worst secrets if it meant you'd smile. A few pages of shoddy pencil sketches is nothing. 
297 notes · View notes
mcflymemes · 8 months
Text
PROMPTS FROM MY OLD FANFICTIONS LOL *  assorted lines from the dumb fics i used to write, adjust as necessary
i forgot you don't like us calling you that.
we have some other issues to deal with.
what's so funny?
i can handle it.
the only thing standing between you and the barrel of a gun is me, and it's going to stay like that. i'm not moving.
go on a date, for christ's sake! meet a guy! go hang out with friends! be social for once in your life!
i'm so freaking proud of you!
yes, i watched a grown man cry. i think we've established that.
what did you say your last name was?
this game is so not fair.
you saw the blood.
you believe she actually loves you?
it was never about love.
we need to talk.
ding ding ding! we have a winner!
you know, you shouldn't be drinking this early.
i did not come all this way to see you killed like he was.
that was never part of our agreement.
bullshit. don't lie to me.
it's all right. don't panic. just keep breathing.
let's try for a little self-control.
convincing enough for you?
chivalry is dead, [name].
the last thing i want to do is get on a plane.
i never really got to say goodbye to you.
you went to mcdonalds? and you didn't get me anything?
do you wanna just watch a movie?
why would anyone be upset with you?
[name], i want you to leave.
things will work out.
i heard about that. i'm sorry.
i'm not here to kill you.
maybe i should take that from you.
go. i'm asking you. you need a day off.
what planet are we on?
so that's it, then? you're not leaving?
there's nothing out there for me anymore.
i'm not done with this.
we can't just give up!
i don't want to interrupt them.
don't you think that maybe you're here for a reason?
did you have breakfast already? i'm starving.
it could be possible.
i miss them. i miss them so much.
it wasn't your fault.
are you scared of him?
we're out of toilet paper in the bathroom.
you're always right.
i didn't make him cry.
we have a situation here!
i just hope my ravioli's good.
you don't have anything to worry about, really.
yeah. let's get this done.
it's a nightmare, i tell you.
well... now's your chance to catch up.
it looks like... somehow... we're being held hostage.
there's someone behind this door.
you don't have to leave just yet.
whatever you did, it worked.
i didn't mean to shoot at you.
you've been here since nine in the morning!
where are we? and who are you?
don't you realize it's past midnight?
you should be sleeping.
i thought it was a good plan.
turn your car around now.
look, [name], be careful.
you're in my basement.
[name]! it's been too long!
i quite enjoyed it.
a little culture never hurt anyone.
i think that's a wonderful idea.
thank you for the invitation. i might have to take you up on that.
remind me why we don't eat here more often?
i can't ask you to do this.
i won't let you down, [name].
my plan is working.
you do what you feel is right.
you don't have to go all yoda on me. i get it.
what kind of hero does that?
now you know why i haven't left this house.
same time next week?
it's been a while for me, too.
let me help you. we'll take it slow.
you are making a terrible mistake.
for the last time, you are not my father.
319 notes · View notes
ckret2 · 4 months
Text
Chapter 32 of human Bill is convinced he's the best prisoner ever and does not deserve this abuse from the Pines:
Bill gets his fingernails painted! 💅🌈✨ Look at his fingernails, I drew this week's picture just to show them off. They're fun.
Bill also gets bound to a magic poppet that can control his every move.
It's hilarious for Dipper and Mabel, but not for Bill.
Tumblr media
The early morning still was broken by Stan's wails of despair.
At some point during the night, the egg-and-toilet-papering kids had come back to Stan's car.
And they'd brought rocks.
####
Bill woke up with a sheet tossed over him and a cupcake sitting on the window seat. The cupcake was pink with green frosting and decorated like a happy jack-o'-melon. It was sitting on top of a note:
"Sorry I didn't mention I had plans tonight! Robbie's mom made cupcakes for everyone so I grabbed you one. The music video's gonna be AMAZING! I'll show you when Robbie posts it!" Mabel had signed with a shooting star.
Bill decided he hadn't been mad at Mabel last night at all.
He battled gravity to heave himself vertical, trudged downstairs to the bathroom, stuck his face under the faucet until his mouth tasted less like sour sandpaper, agonizingly dragged himself back upstairs to his makeshift bed, and collapsed under the sheet to wait until his head stopped hammering.
####
Sprawled on the living room floor, Mabel said, "What should I draw?"
"Draw me." Bill was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, watching the news and nursing a glass of Mabel juice. In an effort to counteract the lingering queasiness from overdosing on sugar and chocolate, he'd spiked the juice with two ground-up Elderly 60+ Vitaman™ brand Man Vitamins (khaki flavor) stolen from a bottle that Ford had bought for Stan and that Stan forgot to take.
"Okay!" Mabel turned around and squinted up at Bill. "Strike a pose!"
"Not like this!" Bill shoved a hand in Mabel's face to force her to stop looking. "Draw me how I really look."
"Bill, that's illegal. Remember?" Mabel pointed at the TV. Bodacious T was reporting on a child who'd dressed up for Summerween as "that weird out-of-towner who bothered us last year, you know the one," and who, under the Never Mind All That Act, had been fined fifty pieces of candy. The child's mugshot showed his crying face, but blurred out his yellow costume.
"He'd be the coolest kid in town," Bill said, "if he wasn't such a crybaby in front of the cops. Draw me anyway."
"I don't wanna get arrested!"
"Do you see any cops?" Bill grinned. "Just don't sign your name, nobody will know it was you."
Mabel considered that. "I can sign it someone else's name." She pulled out a few crayons.
"That's what I'm talking about! Do anything you want forever and frame the innocent!"
"What do you want me to draw you doing?"
"The coolest thing you can think of."
Mabel considered that, and got to work.
The news was boring now. They were talking about the weather, and it wasn't even interesting weather. "So hey, you were gonna tell me about filming last night?"
"Oh yeah!" Mabel said. "Did I mention the part where the dead rose from their graves?"
Bill muted the TV. "And I missed it?"
Robbie had decided the cemetery at his place would be more atmospheric than the trick-or-treater-filled streets (and less likely to have their shots ruined by passersby that didn't appreciate the depth of Robbie's lyrics). It went great, until the vibrations of angsty rock-and-roll stirred the slumbering corpses and they clawed their way from their graves. It turned out Gravity Falls had been having off-and-on invasions of the undead for the past year, ever since somebody decided to reanimate every corpse in town for fun, Bill.
"You can't prove it was me, I'm not the only one who knows how to raise the dead!" Bill laughed. "Hey—you're not drawing this body, are you? You said you wouldn't."
"I'm not, I promise!"
"Then why do you keep staring at me?"
"Um."
"Let me see!"
"No! Don't ruin the surprise!" Mabel picked up a glitter pen with feathers glued to the end and waved them in Bill's face. "And no cheating with your eye-bleeding psychic magic!"
Bill smacked the pen away. "Fine! So what did you do with the zombies? Feed one of the teens to them?"
"No! I chewed like four packs of gum me and Dipper got from the weird homeless dentist and made a fake baby brain. We used it as bait to lead them into an open grave," Mabel said. "And then we realized we could use the brain to train them to do tricks! So now we have dancing zombies in the music video. They actually learned the choreography pretty easily."
"Makes sense," Bill said. "I did fill the space where their souls should be with an insatiable hunger to party."
Mabel grinned. "I thought you said they weren't your fault."
"If they're good at dancing, I'm taking credit!"
"They were pretty good—especially considering how many limbs they were missing," Mabel said. "I'll show you when Robbie's finished editing the video."
"And I'll get to see you playing a creepy ghost kid, right?"
"Yeah! We were the greatest ghosts ever! Check it out, we were like—" Mabel fixed Bill with a dead-eyed slack-jawed stare and whisper-sang, "'We're the things that you have lost. Childhood joy, dead as a ghost.'"
"Chills."
"Dipper tried so hard to get in character as a ghost that he completely zoned out for a minute! When we shook him out of it, he said he felt like he had an out-of-body experience!"
####
At his computer, Robbie clicked play on a clip of the twins standing side-by-side in front of the cemetery gate. As they sang the chorus, Dipper's face went still; and then a spectral gray form rose out of his head, still singing in sync with Mabel.
"Whoa," Robbie said. "Sick. I'm keeping that in."
####
"So, it turns out my bro is an expert method actor," Mabel boasted.
Bill thought back to Dipper drifting up and down the stairs in the middle of the night. "Yep. Sounds like he's got quite a talent."
Mabel set down her crayons and held out a paper. "Okay—what do you think?"
Bill accepted the drawing. "Am I riding on the back of a rocket ship?"
"Like a bucking bronco! See the rocket flames doing a loop?"
"Sure do. Why am I holding a fish bowl?"
"It's like a cowboy waving his hat, but, you're in space. So that's your astronaut helmet."
"It's beautiful," Bill said intensely. "It's the best thing I've ever seen."
"Aw, really? Thanks!"
"When I take over the universe, I'm rearranging the constellations to look like this."
"Don't do that, though."
"Fine, but I'm hanging it up in my throne room." Bill set down his empty glass so he could hold the picture with both hands, beaming at it as proudly as though he'd made it himself. Big change from his lukewarm reception of her house drawing yesterday. She should draw Bill more often. Being a good artist meant understanding what your audience wanted.
Unfortunately, now that she'd finished her drawing, she didn't have anything to distract her from staring at Bill. And she'd taken about as much of seeing him as she could stand. "Bill. I say this with non-judgmental love. But you look sooo terrible."
"Yeah, I know. I think I'm shaped about as nicely as a human could ask for," he pantomimed drawing a triangle in front of his torso, "but let's be real, there's only so much you can do when you're working with a human bone structure. And there's way too much neck—"
"No! Bill, your body is beautiful just the way it is, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I meant your hair looks awful."
Bill had taken a shower yesterday morning, emerged with his hair all wet and tangled, and done absolutely nothing to detangle it. And then, with it still half damp and totally disheveled, he'd shoved it under a cheap acrylic wig for the rest of the night. And then he'd fallen asleep on the floor still wearing the wig.
And now, with the wig removed, his hair looked like a bird had plucked out half a scarecrow's straw brains and made a nest out of it.
"It sure does," Bill said, with the slightly forlorn air of someone complaining about a war in a far-off country over which one had no power.
"So brush it!"
"No. Never. You can't make me."
"Why not? I thought you wanted to keep your hair all triangly!"
"Not enough to touch it. Either it'll figure out how to straighten out on its own or it won't, I'm not messing with it. I've got enough going on in my life today." By which he meant he had the last lingering traces of a hangover, which was a valid excuse to get out of all social, moral, and aesthetic obligations.
Mabel groaned in frustration. "I can't take looking at it anymore! If you won't brush it, can I?"
Bill gave her a skeptical look; but then he flung his hands out dismissively. "Sure, why not? If it bothers you so much. Have at it."
"I'll be right back!"
She got her brush from upstairs and a spray bottle from the kitchen, and directed Bill to sit on the floor so she could get on the couch behind him. After making such a fuss about brushing his hair, Bill was surprisingly well-behaved with somebody else brushing it for him. He didn't even complain when Mabel accidentally yanked on some nasty snarls a little harder than she meant to.
"I feel like a corpse getting prettied up for my funeral," Bill said. "Grooming each other is how humans bond, isn't it? This is one of your little social rituals? If all you wanted was to make sure we're still friends after you ditched me last night, you could have just asked."
Mabel shoved her foot between Bill's shoulder blades. Wise guy. She joked, "Yeah! We're bonding now! After this we're gonna paint each other's fingernails and talk about what kind of boys we like."
"I want rainbow spiral fingernails."
Mabel really should be used to this—but she still kept getting surprised that Bill was interested in the stuff she liked. And not even in a patronizing sure-I'll-play-along way. He'd turned to look at her. There was a gleam in his eyes. He really wanted rainbow spiral fingernails.
And now she wanted rainbow spiral fingernails, too. "Fine! But look forward until I finish your hair." One way or another, Mabel vowed, she would reform Bill into a proper good guy—even if she had to drag him there kicking and screaming. Fun dress-up partners were hard to find, and she couldn't afford to lose Bill.
####
Soos wandered to the living room to find somewhere to hang up his and Melody's "Best Couple Cosplay" award, but stopped in the doorway.
Bill, Mabel, and Waddles were sitting on the floor, watching some kind of cartoon psychedelic fairy princess lecture a spider on the importance of colors, with a bowl of popcorn between them. Bill and Mabel both had bright multicolor fingernails and were eating the popcorn with chopsticks to avoid touching their nails. There was more popcorn on the floor than in the bowl. Waddles had taken no such cares to avoid dragging his freshly painted hooves through the carpet. 
"Truth or dare," Bill said.
"Dare!"
"Dare you to assassinate the..." Bill trailed off. "I can't have the mayor assassinated, he runs Rainbow Club. And the sheriff and deputy invited me... There aren't a lot of public officials in this dumb town, are there?"
"I'm not killing anybody, Bill. Truth."
"Fine, coward. What's your favorite toxic fume fragrance?"
"That's easy! Gasoline!"
"Hey, mine too! At least on this planet. It smells like—you know that smell that heralds the coming of rain? Gasoline is the smell that heralds a really fun time."
"Yeah! Like going on a road trip!"
Bill paused. "Right! I was... I was definitely thinking about road trips. That's exactly what I meant."
Mabel added, "And it looks so cool when there's a little bit spilled in a parking spot—"
"The rainbow puddles! Yes! Big fan of the rainbow puddles—"
"I love parking lot rainbow puddles! It's like surprise happiness in the most boring place on the planet!"
Soos mumbled, "Girl talk," decided to hang his award up later, and left.
####
Dipper heard the bedroom door open and Mabel call, "Hey Dipper!"
"Hey." He didn't look up from his journal, where he was documenting last night's zombie adventures. "Oh, hey, bad news—Wendy said she got a text from Robbie, it sounds like all the footage from the cemetery last night is ruined?"
"Aww! What? But we worked so hard to train those zombies!"
"Yeah, it's just static. But everything we shot outside the gates is fine. I wonder if it's something supernatural that interferes with electronics?"
"Something supernatural? In the cemetery? Full of zombies? What are the odds of that!" Mabel laughed. "But heyyy, I've got some good news!"
"What?"
Mabel stuck a hairbrush full of gold hair between Dipper's face and his journal. "I got a replacement for the Bill hair sample we gave Pacifica!" She grinned and whispered, "Wanna make a poppet?"
####
It would have been really cool if the first full moon of summer vacation had come on Summerween. But the calendar gods were unkind that year, and instead, it came the next day, on June 23.
Which worked out, in the end, since it meant they didn't have any scheduling conflicts on the one night they could make a poppet.
They had the ritual space set up in their bedroom—a chalk star drawn on the floor with a black candle at each point—and the doll representing Bill—which Mabel had upgraded with button eyes and a miniature version of his favorite knit hoodie. They collected all the shed blonde strands off Mabel's hairbrush, wrapped them around the doll's neck, and tied them on. They set the doll in the center of the star; Bartholomew talked them through the ritual; the flames on the candles leaped a foot in the air, turned a pale blue, and then went out; and the binding ritual was complete. The doll was now connected to Bill Cipher.
"Weird," Bartholomew said. "Usually the flames turn black. I've never seen them turn blue before."
Dipper said, "That's not a problem, is it?"
"No, no. I've just never used the binding ritual on an alien before! I guess it works a little different!"
Dipper picked up the doll and eyed it skeptically. "Mabel, I know we said we're saving this for emergencies only, but—maybe we should test it out just to make sure it actually works?"
"I guess we should," Mabel said, grimacing. "Just—don't do anything that'd hurt him. Okay?"
Yeah, Dipper should've expected that. Whether he liked it or not, Mabel didn't just see Bill as her weird experiment in criminal rehabilitation—she saw him as her friend. He sighed. "Okay. But is it fine if we do something that would embarrass him?"
Mabel shrugged. "I don't see why not!"
####
As they crept from their room, Mabel whispered, "What if we stick him in a box and shake it up? And then tell him there was an earthquake!"
"I thought you were the one who didn't want to hurt him."
"Oh right."
Bill wasn't on his cushions under the window, so they crept downstairs. Halfway down, Dipper stopped, putting a hand on Mabel's arm. Bill was sitting at the kitchen table, chin in his hand, staring out the window.
"This is perfect," he whispered. "He's completely vulnerable. He's got his back to us, he's looking at the moonlight—even if he turns around, he won't see us because his eyes will have to readjust to the dark."
"I don't know if his eyes need to adjust," Mabel said. "Have you ever noticed he never turns the lights on when he goes into a room?"
Dipper considered that. He hadn't noticed—but now that Mabel mentioned it, Bill did have a tendency to lurk in the dark. "Well—okay, but he's still not looking at us. Let's see how this works..." He studied the doll; then turned it around and gently brushed a finger through its yarn hair.
For a moment, nothing happened; and then Bill swatted at the back of his head and looked around, as if he was trying to find what had touched him.
"I think it's working," Dipper hissed.
"Are you sure? What if there's actually a fly in the kitchen?"
Could be. "Let me see if it can control him."
"Careful—"
Dipper grabbed one of the doll's arms and tentatively lifted it.
Bill's arm shot up. He stared at it in bafflement. "Wh...?"
Mabel bit her lip. Dipper waved the doll's arm.
Bill's arm waved. After a pause, he tentatively asked, "Hello?" As if he thought maybe his arm was waving at someone and he should play along with it.
Mabel and Dipper clapped their hands over their mouths, fighting to keep their giggles quiet. Mabel elbowed Dipper, "Hey Dipper Dipper Dipper, get him to stand up, let me control his legs, I have the best idea—"
Bill knocked over his chair and had to flail his arms for balance as he abruptly jerked to his feet. He looked around, eyes wide and wild, an edge of panic to his voice as he hollered, "WHAT'S GOING ON!"
Dipper held the doll out to Mabel. "Okay hurry!" Mabel took it by the legs—
—and Bill started doing the cancan. He shrieked. "WHAT?!"
Dipper shoved his shirt over his mouth to muffle his hysterics. Mabel was letting little wheezy squeaks out through her nose. Bill's voice was almost an octave higher as he screamed, "WHEN I FIND OUT WHO'S BEHIND THIS, I'M GONNA SHRED YOU—" and they both got so close to bursting laughing out loud that they had to pause to punch each other's shoulders for self control.
Still holding one of the doll's legs up, Mabel hissed, "Dipper do you remember the bottle dance. Where they crouch down with bottles on their heads. Can we—can we get a tiny bottle for the doll—"
Bill was failing both arms to avoid falling with one foot held in the air. He grabbed the counter for balance. And then, with a grunt of effort, he wrenched his foot down and stomped it to the ground.
The doll's leg yanked out of Mabel's hand.
Dipper and Mabel fell silent, staring at the doll. They looked at each other. Mabel whispered, "It shouldn't be able to do that, right?"
They looked at Bill.
Bill's face was burning red, and he was so far past fury that his expression was perfectly blank. His eyes were huge, and round, and pointed straight at them.
They bolted up the stairs.
Bill charged after them.
They screamed in terror. They weren't loud enough to drown out Bill: "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU BRATS—"
Mabel grabbed Dipper's arm. "Dipper, do something!"
"Uhh—!" He tossed the doll in the air and caught it.
They heard an alarmed yelp as Bill was launched in the air and then a crash as he landed on the stairs again.
They scrambled into their room and slammed the door. "Safe!" Mabel said.
"Yeah," Dipper said, panting for breath. "Can't get us here."
The doll's head twisted 180 degrees to stare up at them.
They yelped. Dipper tossed the doll to Mabel. Mabel held it out at arm's length, threw it in her nightstand's drawer, and slammed it. It tried to open again and she leaned against it with her full body weight. "Dipper, the duct tape! In my craft supplies!"
"Which craft supplies?!"
The tiny knocking inside the drawer was echoed by the pounding at the door, accompanied by a string of creative death threats: "—and when I'm finished the coroner won't know which corpse was which! I'll make a belt out of your spinal columns—!"
"We didn't do anything," Mabel shouted, "it wasn't our fault!" She took the duct tape from Dipper and frantically wrapped it around the night stand. Dipper added, "It was someone else! And we'll never do it again—"
Sleepy and muffled, Soos's voice drifted through the door, "Dudes? What's all the hubbub?"
Dipper and Mabel gasped, "Soos!" "Save us!"
His voice the perfect tone of righteous indignation, Bill declared, "I'm being assaulted, that's what!"
Stan's voice joined in from downstairs: "BILL! If you don't leave those kids alone I'll cave your nose in!"
"THEY'RE THE AGGRESSORS," Bill screamed, half hysterical. "They are! I'm the victim here! I'm being victimized!"
Stan shouted, "Kids, good work! Bill, you can go to—" He grumbled as he self-censored, "—sleep! Shut up and go to sleep!"
"You can go jump in the bottomless pit, Stanley Pines! I'll tear you all apart with my teeth if I have to! NOBODY in this stupid junk heap of a shack is getting any sleep until I get my—"
From just outside the attic door, Stan roared, "BILL!"
There was a dull thud as Bill leaned against their door; a lot less shouty, he quickly said, "I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed."
"That's what I thought," Stan snapped. The kids heard his footsteps retreating downstairs. Soos said, "Um... night," and his door shut. After a moment, there was the creak of footsteps retreating from the attic door.
Dipper and Mabel slowly, softly snuck across the room to the door, and pressed their ears to the crack. No sound.
They stayed there for several minutes, barely breathing, listening to the silence.
Finally, Mabel pulled away and looked at Dipper. They both nodded, and Dipper opened the door a crack to check if the coast was clear.
Bill's eye stared in. "Hey, kids!"
They yelled. Dipper tried to slam the door; but Bill had already shoved his hand through. Fingernails painted with neon colors and black spirals clawed at the doorframe. He shouldered through the gap in the door, and then he was in the room, smiling much too wide and eyes fixed on them like helicopter spotlights on two wanted criminals. There was blood on his teeth. "Wow! Playing with poppets?"
Dipper upturned his suitcase and held it up like a shield. Mabel pointed a can of spray paint at Bill's face. Bill took a step closer and they took a step back.
"Pretty advanced trick for a couple of children your age," Bill said conversationally. "Not bad, not bad at all. Heck, I'm impressed you pulled it off! Although you didn't make a very smart choice of test subject." He stomped a foot twice.
Something in the nightstand thudded twice. The twins jumped. Bill laughed at them.
Mentally cursing himself for having flinched, Dipper straightened his back and glared at Bill. "You're just mad you got jerked around like a puppet! What's the matter, Bill—you can dish it but you can't take it?" Mabel looked at Dipper like he was crazy.
Bill's indulgent smile cracked, dropping into a snarl of rage. He shifted his weight toward them. Mabel dropped into a judo stance and Dipper sucked in a breath to shout for Stan.
Before anyone could launch a full attack, Mabel took a shaky breath in, forced a nervous smile, and said, "Bill, hey..." (His eyes snapped to her face like a predator that just heard a twig snap.) "This was—just a funny prank, and we're all cool? Right?"
"Mabel," Dipper muttered. "Shhh!"
But Mabel kept looking at Bill. "Right? Buddies?" She held up her arm, showing Bill her friendship bracelet.
Bill stopped and rocked back on his heels. He gave Mabel a long, hard look—like he was seriously considering whether to accept the reality she was inventing. "Yeah. Real funny." Smiling through grit teeth, he said, "You know—it's been a while since I've had my energy strung between two vessels. I didn't even know what that experience felt like for a human! Very interesting. Educational. And it was nice to feel weightless again for a second. Even if the landing was a little rough." He licked the blood off his teeth. One of the teeth shifted. "So—thanks so much for spicing up a boring night. It's been a real blast. Hasn't it." He stared at them like he expected an answer—and possibly like he planned to strangle whoever answered first.
Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. Dipper shook his head slightly. Mabel looked Bill in the eyes again. "Yeah! Big blast. So, you're not... mad. Right? Nobody's mad!"
Bill stared her down for a moment longer; and then said, "Sure, kid! It's all fun and games!" He forced a laugh—and then another, longer one, hahhh, like he was exhaling all his rage. And just like that, he was back to normal. "I'll admit it—for a second there, you almost got me good! Not bad at all." He held out his hand insistently. "And now the game's over, so you're gonna give me that toy so I can neutralize it. Aren't you?"
Dipper bit his lip, looking past Bill toward the stairs. He could yell for Stan; there was no way Bill could kill them before reinforcements got here—
Mabel elbowed Dipper's side and whispered, "We can't keep it."
And she was right. Now that Bill knew about the doll, he'd be spending all his time plotting how to get past them to take it, and they wouldn't have a second's peace. Either he got it now, or he got it later. Bill wouldn't rest until the doll was out of their hands.
Because he was terrified of it. Why wouldn't he be?
"Yeah," Dipper sighed. "Game over."
"I'll get it." Mabel peeled just enough duct tape off the night stand to wiggle it open a crack and try to squeeze her fingers in. Bill stretched his hand toward Mabel, and the doll stretched an arm out of the drawer. Mabel flinched in surprise, but grabbed the arm and yanked the doll free.
"Ow." Bill grabbed his shoulder and rolled it gingerly. "Careful, kid, are you trying to dislocate my arm? I don't mind popping it back in, but eventually that socket's gonna wear out."
"Sorry! It was a tight squeeze." She held the doll over Dipper's suitcase shield. "Here."
Bill snatched it from her hand. "Thanks a million, star girl." He favored them both with his most nearly-charming, far-too-wide smile. "Good night, kiddos. Have sweet dreams."
"You too," Mabel said weakly.
Bill left. Dipper shut the door. He and Mabel both heaved a sigh of relief.
From the loft over the attic, Bartholomew called, "Is he gone?"
"What are you doing up there?" Mabel asked. "Barty-mew-mew the scaredy-cat."
"I'm not fighting that guy, I'm porcelain and he's crazy."
Dipper flopped on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "Welp. I'm gonna have nightmares about Bill chasing me up the stairs."
Mabel sat on her own bed. "He just wanted to terrify us. And to keep us from seeing we'd terrified him." She fingered the star beads on her friendship bracelet. "He wouldn't have hurt us, I'm sure of it."
"Wh—seriously? You don't think Bill—"
"I know! But he's changed a tiny bit! He'd hurt anyone else, but he won't hurt us," Mabel said. "Or—well, me, at least. But I think he'll leave you alone too if I'm with you!"
Dipper pushed himself up on his elbows to look at her. "If he'd caught us on the stairs, do you really think he wouldn't have tried to tear us apart?"
Mabel considered that; and then reluctantly admitted, "He wouldn't hurt me as long as he remembers he doesn't want to hurt me." 
"Yeah, well. I wouldn't count on him remembering when he's mad." Dipper slid under his covers and rolled over. "Barty, can you get the lights?"
"Sure, one second." All the lights and lamps in the room flickered ominously; and then, with a sinister pop, snapped off without being touched.
"Thanks, man."
Mabel didn't climb into bed. She was staring at her fingernails. She'd painted them the same colors as Bill's; but she'd used a black marker to draw spirals on his, and he'd drawn stars and sloppy tiger stripes on hers.  In the dark, the colors were all faded.
This time, just once, maybe she and Dipper were the bad guys. He might disagree—he'd actually been puppeted, maybe he saw this differently from Mabel—but that probably didn't make it okay to do it back to Bill just for fun. They should've saved the poppet for an emergency. And the cancan, she decided, was definitely too much.
She smoothed out her covers; then she pulled up her knees to her chest, hugged them, and stared thoughtfully down at Bill's face in the middle of her zodiac blanket.
####
In the dark and quiet of the downstairs bathroom, Bill sat cross-legged on the toilet lid. He held the doll in his cupped hands. Soon, he'd disassemble it—but not yet. Tonight, it was his tool. He shut his eyes and focused on it.
There was the thinnest thread of energy, channeled through his shed hair, connecting this doll to him. He studied the thread, feeling it in his mind, exploring it, strengthening it—until he could almost feel it tugging on him.
And then he started psychically groping for similar connections.
He set the doll on the floor, on top of the drawing Mabel had given him.
His other eyes—the billions of depictions of his face scattered across this planet—weren't meant to be used in this dimension. They were designed like windows he could peer through from the Nightmare Realm; here on Earth, he was on the wrong side of the windows to see through them. And he wouldn't be surprised if the Axolotl had somehow found a way to blindfold them on top of that—after all, he seemed to have done the same to most of Bill's other abilities.
But Bill was resourceful, he was stubborn, and he didn't have anything better to do.
He focused all his energy on trying to feel the drawing the same way he felt the doll, searching for a connection between this body and that face—and he searched, and searched, and searched.
He wasn't sure how long he tried. At least a couple of hours. Straining, straining—for nothing. His head hurt.
What was the difference? The doll was shaped like him, the drawing was shaped like him. What did the doll have that the drawing didn't?
The hair. A bit of his flesh.
Bill knelt over the picture, studying it in the dark. He opened an eye wide, wiped a fingertip across the surface of his eyeball to collect his tears, and pressed it to the drawing's eye.
He could feel a thread of energy stringing from his eye to the paper.
He climbed back on the toilet lid, shut his eyes, and focused on that thread. With an effort that threatened to split his head in two, he pried open his inner eye. And then he was staring up at his own human form from the drawing on the floor.
His body was shaking. His head was throbbing. He wobbled dizzily on the toilet; and as he saw himself topple off, his trance broke, the vision disappeared, and he blacked out. White spots burst behind his eyes.
When he next opened an eye, the room was spinning. He shut his eye. It was several minutes before he could sit up without being sick. He leaned against the wall and let the sweat on his forehead and cheek soak the old wallpaper.
The white spots he'd seen as he passed out were his distant all-seeing eyes. 
He'd done something tonight. That was good. But there was no way he was seeing through any other pictures like that. He needed something he could focus his power through, like an antenna.
He needed gold.
####
(Last chapter of the year!! If you enjoyed, I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts & comments! Thanks!)
161 notes · View notes