#i don't like when people either harm my books OR just never return them

[etheries1015]

Because I have favorism towards the fae myself (And I'm sorry this is suggestive)

Remember Malleus' voice line about touching his hornes? Now, reader just touches them whenever they can be reached (like when Malleus is using their lap as a pillow) or stroking his tail whenever it's wrapped around Reader. Without realizing it's doing things to him.

Oh my gosh. Don't apologize for suggestive content, I love that shit. Feed me more of it. Heuheuheuheu.

Feeding a Faes hidden desires

Featuring: Malleus Draconia <3

General warnings: Gender neutral reader

18+ / suggestive content minors please don't interact~

It was difficult for Malleus Draconia to open up to people, he had to be the face of pure perfection for the sake of his kingdom. Every action he took, every word he said, would reflect upon Briar Valley and put his position as a prince in either light of greatness, or foolishness. The former was not an option for Malleus Draconia. He was given the best of the best when it came to his studies and academics, except, unfortunately, sex ed.

He understood the bare minimum of course, for reproduction was important for keeping the bloodline of the Draconias strong. What he was not well versed in, however, was the feeling of lust that came with reproduction. He never knew it could feel so... dirty.

When he had agreed to allow you to touch his horns when you insisted, he had no clue what kind of...desires this would stir up in him without realizing.

You had asked the draconic fae to touch his horns and his tail, and he spent a few times urging you otherwise in fear of harming you in some way. Yet it did not take him very long to feel curious and begin to imagine how your hands would feel upon his horns and extremities, starting out purely out of curiosity and the desire to be closer to you.

The first time you touched his horns was in the comfort of the lounge, he bent over for you to touch and feel them freely before being interrupted by Sebeks outraged cries of blasphemy. Since the moment your soft fingertips pressed against the roughness of his obsidian horns, he felt his body shudder at the contact, and something in him he decided to ignore screamed in his mind that it was perhaps a...dangerous endeavor. He had managed to suppress himself from such thoughts and desires, even allowing you to (on occasion) touch his horns and tail at your request. Never for too long, for when the thoughts returned he made a quick excuse to end the session. He wanted to respect you and your soft touch- not sully the romantic gesture with lustful thoughts.

He was often searching for your touch in many different ways, in hugs, cuddles, gentle kisses, holding hands...yet a few months and almost a year, he could feel himself become far more greedier. Malleus would notice the slight changes in himself when you would reach up to grab hold of something on a shelf, the way your shirt rode up your stomach ever so slightly, the way your hands would draw circles around the title page to get a feel for the book, he almost felt himself envious of the piece of literature. He told himself not to lose control, to hold himself together like a proper gentlefae, allowing you to only touch his draconic features on the rare occasion he felt he could keep himself properly composed.

Yet now there you were, in your room in Ramshackle dorm, sitting upon the lap of your lover gently caressing his smooth black horns absentmindedly. It was a comfortable atmosphere for you, being held lovingly by your tall fae significant other in silence while pouring your love and affection into your little pets upon his horns. You muttered a "beautiful..." before leaning up slightly...

and placing a kiss upon his horns.

Malleus let out a sudden high-pitched "urgh!" of surprise, his tail squeezing your waist slightly. Your eyebrows raised in shock, pulling away to look at your now flushed lover, feeling a bit of...excitement from down below. He suddenly removed his tail from your waist and seemed to want to move away from you, until you pushed your body on top of his own, straddling his waist and feeling his arousal between your thighs.

"I-i'm-" He gulped and let out a low moan, his hands shaking hesitantly mid air, not certain where he should place them, "I'm sorry- this is incredibly unbecoming of a king-" You hushed him with a rushed kiss and shook your head, the kiss lasting only a moment prior to you pulling away face as flushed as his and forehead pressed against his own.

"It's natural," You comforted him, "Do you...like it when I touch your horns, Mal...?" You hesitated your inquiry, his response a simple and slow nod giving you confidence to move your hands back to his horns and begin to rub them intimately. You felt his body twitch below you and his tail wrapped itself around your thigh, voice trembling. You hadn't seen the fae prince so shaken up before, so uncertain, so vulnerable. Only in front of you would he allow himself to lose such control.

"Are you...are you certain? I haven't any...experience," He muttered against the crook of your neck, arms wrapping around your body and hugging you tightly as if to console himself.

"It's okay," you murmured, hands removing themselves from his horns much to his whining displeasure of the sudden warmth disappearing from them, before shuddering once more as your attention shifted to his tail. Your finger trailed the scales and you felt him twitch between your thighs through his pants as his excitement stirred with every touch you placed upon his extremities.

"I...want it too," You purred.

Malleus's desire gauge was now at 100%

and you had no idea what you had just gotten yourself into.

~~~~

Masterlist

#Twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #malleus #malleus x reader #Malleus draconia #Malleus draconia x reader #twst smut #twisted wonderland smut #twisted wonderland fanfictions #twst fanfics

[queer-geordie-nerd]

I am nearly 40 years old and I've considered myself a leftist politically since I was old enough to form my own opinions. Have I always been a shining moral example? Definitely not - there have absolutely been times when I've had unexamined prejudices and been called out on them. It's deeply uncomfortable having to examine your own prejudices and to be told that you're wrong, and I get the instinct to push back.

But never in my entire life have I seen as much doubling down and ignoring of minority voices and as much mask off bigotry as I have seen this last month in reaction to Jews telling pro Palestine activists that a lot of what they're doing is blatant antisemitism and actively harmful to their community.

Absolutely, advocate and uplift Palestinian voices and draw attention to what is happening, because what is happening is utterly appalling.

But when you happily parrot genocidal slogans like 'From the River to the Sea' while totally ignoring anyone's attempts to tell you why that is so hideously problematic, when you unironically call for the total eradication of the only Jewish nation state on earth in a way that you never ever do for other nations whose governments have committed similar or worse crimes, when you happily chant shit like "Death to Zionist pigs" without the first clue what that word actually means (hint: it's not shorthand for 'evil barely humans who want all Palestinians dead' and it's incredibly disgusting to use it that way. Zionists believe in the Jewish right to return to and live on their ancestral homeland. That's it. That's all) then don't think for one solitary minute you possess any kind of moral high ground.

And when leftists who usually loudly proclaim the right of indigenous peoples to return to their land have the audacity to turn around and say to Jews "not you though - actually you're terrible and evil for even wanting such a thing. Never mind that the rest of the world has engaged in your wholesale dehumanisation and slaughter for thousands of years, your desire for your homeland is the bad thing actually" what is that hypocrisy but blatant antisemitism? Please, enlighten me.

When a Jewish person tells you are peddling in antisemitism, just shut the fuck up and listen.

A caveat to this is that I am not Jewish, I don't know any Jewish people IRL, none of this impacts me personally. But I am a human being, and will not and cannot stay silent about the hypocrisy and outright dehumanisation of other human beings by people who cannot for the life of them either open a history book or take the time to actually listen to the people this impacts and instead just perform their self righteous little dance.

#antisemitism

[historicity-was-already-taken]

i have this excerpt from Notes from the Warsaw Ghetto: The Journal of Emmanuel Ringelblum printed and framed

Like, I paid an etsy seller to print it for me on the nicest cardstock with the best ink, and then I waited in line and paid a stupid amount of money to have it framed at the Michael's custom framing counter. And I have zero regrets. I've probably posted this excerpt here before but I don't care. It is everything.

The heroic girls, Chajke and Frumke—they are a theme that calls for the pen of a great writer. Boldly they travel back and forth through the cities and towns of Poland. They carry “Aryan” papers identifying them as Poles or Ukrain­ians. One of them even wears a cross, which she never parts with except when in the Ghetto. They are in mortal danger every day. They rely entirely on their “Aryan” faces and on the peasant kerchiefs that cover their heads. Without a mur­mur, without a second’s hesitation, they accept and carry out the most dangerous missions. Is someone needed to travel to Vilna, Bialystok, Lemberg, Kowel, Lublin, Czestochowa, or Radom to smuggle in contraband such as illegal publica­tions, goods, money? The girls volunteer as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Are there comrades who have to be rescued from Vilna, Lublin, or some other city?— They undertake the mission. Nothing stands in their way, nothing deters them. Is it necessary to become friendly with engineers of German trains, so as to be able to travel beyond the frontiers of the Government General of Poland, where people can move about with special papers? They are the ones to do it, simply, without fuss, as though it was their pro­fession. They have traveled from city to city, to places no delegate or Jewish institution had ever reached, such as Wolhynia, Lithuania. They were the first to bring back the tidings about the tragedy of Vilna. They were the first to offer words of encouragement and moral support to the sur­viving remnant of that city. How many times have they looked death in the eyes? How many times have they been arrested and searched? Fortune has smiled on them. They are, in the classic idiom, “emissaries of the community to whom no harm can come.” With what simplicity and modesty have they reported what they accomplished on their journeys, on the trains bearing Polish Christians who have been pressed to work in Germany! The story of the Jewish woman will be a glorious page in the history of Jewry during the present war. And the Chajkes and Frumkes will be the leading figures in this story. For these girls are indefatigable. Just back from Czestochowa, where they imported contraband, in a few hours they’ll be on the move again. And they’re off without a moment’s hesitation, without a minute of rest.

He only namechecks Chaike Grossman and Frumka Plotnicka here, but I can tell you for a fact that he's also referring to Tossia Atlman, Tema Schneiderman, and Lonka Kozybrodska. At least.

So far the count of Jewish women (that I'm aware of) who have responded to "They are a theme that calls for the pen of a great writer" with a book (or long-planned book) are three: me, Dr. Lenore Weitzman (who won't return any of my emails) and Judith Batalion (who did return my emails, had lunch with me, and told me that Dr. Weitzman wouldn't respond to her emails either). I hope more Jewish women--in and out of the academe--continue to take up this call, and I hope they keep getting published and aren't rejected because it's "too similar" to mine and Batalion's. No like seriously like two months after I signed with my agent, and one month after I got my book deal, I received a rejection from a lit agent saying that my book was "too similar" to Batalion's. Ok first of all it's not. I read Batalion's the day it came out, and they're very different books with very different focuses, goals, and approaches; the only thing they have in common is that they're both about this underserved, underappreciated group of amazing women. There SHOULD be multiple books about each and every one of them. There SHOULD be multiple books about one day Tossia spent in Vilna. Every white man who looked sideways at WW2 and the American Civil War have like, 87 terrible books dedicated to them, and I DEMAND at least 3 for each of these women. And 17 for Queen Zivia. (Who does have a biography, written by Bella Gutterman). Plus a biopic. So this post went in a direction.

tl;dr:

#epica's cover of the pirates of the caribbean theme came on shuffle while i was writing this #it was awesome

[rontra]

I have never played persona so I wasn't sure if I would understand your failteacher comics but I just looked up the characters for a little bit of context and I'm 👀👀👀👀 at it now xD

Without being too spoiler-y, why would you say they'd have a messy relationship? (Besides the fact of Becky taking advantage of her client's loneliness)

HAHAHA yea i think the like dramatic irony enjoyment of knowing (even just roughly) what's going on with becky is very strong so good on you there (obviously toriumi has no idea what's going on with her and becky is doing her best to Handle It, but it contextualizes her behavior for Us...<3)

it's yummy isnt it... its yummy

anyway, the rest of this very long post is just me analyzing a fictional situation i myself engineered, so if that sounds boring please dont click the Read More LMFAO <- cursed to put a lot of thought into Character Stuff

basically they have great potential for mess, which they're Currently keeping a lid on, but would exponentially increase with time. teehee.

as for what WILL happen, im not spoiling anything concrete of course… (winks at the Knowers who already know my Vision….

well, this AU isn't ever going to devolve into a "super destructive toxic nightmare" mess or anything, just to get our working definitions of 'mess' sorted out at the top of the post. not this time. atm (as of comic #3) it's shaping up more like a "this seems . inadvisable and absolutely Don't Try This At Home, but i guess it won't…kill you" mess (LMAO)

to assess their situation at present… there is one half who wants money (and can't ever make enough of it to satisfy her extortionists), and one half who wants intimacy (and is scared and unable to get it on her own). on its exterior face, it's simply a lonely person hiring a professional to keep them company, which is a fairly common thing n not rly super noteworthy; the parentheticals are what make things a bit uh thorny for these characters

the "problem" here is not the transaction itself; they're both willing to supply their half of the trade just fine, and neither party is doing anything wrong by engaging in it. but for these two specifically, there is also a mutual willingness to bend the rules of their transaction—because they're both cornered in some way, and desperate for what the other one is offering to trade

to elaborate on "rules", i mean, first and foremost, that their relationship is not "real"—these people Don't know each other personally and intimately, and they're Not Supposed To. their relationship should never be "real"; they're not friends! (or lovers, for that matter!) they're in a conditional exchange of money for services. right now, these characters are participating in and maintaining a kayfabe; they should operate under a tacit understanding that A) this is not real, B) they both fully know it's not real, and C) following the script is the comfortable way to get what they both want without causing undue risk to either party. creating and then maintaining a fake "reality" together is regulated by a contract between them, and it ends when their booked time ends (and not a minute over time!)

but to return to the earlier point, they're also both cornered and desperate, which drives them both to go beyond what might be considered appropriate. i think this is compelling; it's probably unnecessary of me to add this paragraph but i want to underline (just in case) that i don't think either of them is like "at fault" or w/e (there is no "villain" between them). they're showing Signs Of Mess that could snowball into something much more messy, but it's not something they're doing to hurt each other; they're making decisions based on skewed risk/reward estimations that might not be healthy, and could realistically have harmful consequences for both parties, but they're not, like, Evil (lol). two women getting wrapped up in each other's personal graveyard spirals…it's yuri, isn't it?

with that squared away, and putting it plainly;

toriumi should not be asking her to "break character" when the character itself is what she's paying for; this nudging of their little kayfabe, if indulged, could easily snowball and erode the professional boundaries between them (what she calls "distance" in #3). she is paying 'becky' to 'be here' (paying kawakami to conjure 'becky' into existence by pretending to be her), but she isn't really being mindful of the type of role that this necessarily demands of her in turn. the built-in emotional walls between them are there to protect both of them, but she doesn't fully respect them (despite instinctively sensing their protection in how "safe" becky feels to her). in the end, toriumi is bad at "staying in character" herself, and she can't help but try to root out the actual person behind the mask—despite the fact that no one wants this erosion to happen! possible dire consequences for her wallet aside, losing sight of the line between "transaction" and "investment" (pardon the pun) is a one-way ticket to a very messy place where one or both of them is likely to get hurt...

on the other end, and not helping the situation at all, kawakami identified toriumi as a soft target pretty much immediately, and is actively trying to elicit sympathy and endear herself to her (she is being quite choosy about what vulnerabilities she "lets slip" in #2) in order to make her keep booking and paying. of course some amount of "salesmanship" is part of the job—#grindset always be plugging smash that like button comment n subscribe—but the major difference here is that she's overtly attempting to foster in her client the exact kind of dependency/personal attachment she should be discouraging (for, frankly, both of their safety). like not only is she out fishing to get toriumi hook line and sinker on purpose, but it's also alarmingly reckless behavior on kawakami's part; there's a lack of regard for her own wellbeing involved here on top of it all. again, a messy place where someone, maybe everyone, gets hurt in the end

crucially though, as comic #3 finishes setting up, they're both willing to endure these shenanigans from the other half. at this stage, toriumi does realize that kawakami has her unilaterally wrapped around her finger, and nonetheless agrees that she'll call her again; while kawakami knows very well how this kayfabe is supposed to work, but is indulgent (even rewarding) towards toriumi for her clumsiness. that mutual willingness to keep playing this game would—if the AU continued on these tracks uninterrupted—probably compound until the situation they've made becomes super confusing and unclear for them emotionally...

of course "taking advantage" is sort of a loaded phrase colloquially… but i would say in many ways they are "taking advantage" of each other, yea. the "we both benefit, so it's okay" logic was already vaguely raised as justification in #3; if elaborated a bit with the above in mind, their situation is one where "even if they're both overstepping what is considered appropriate for their arrangement, they've also both decided the benefits outweigh the costs by a wide enough margin to make it worthwhile"

it's got the marks of a sort of symbiotic relationship... their individual motivations for being involved w each other are totally unrelated (cue the "hold on, does. kawakami even like women???" question), but they both feel they benefit enough towards their priority goals to be OK with the other one taking something "less valuable" from them (toriumi even calls out the “sales pitch” becky is doing in #2, but ultimately decides that’s fine because she’s willing to buy). i think each and every moving part here has great capacity to go "too far" and ruin things (perhaps even causing Severe damage in the collapse), but if the situation were to continue in this same rhythm, without that kind of dramatic change, i would say "they're both evaluating the scenario with their own personal goals in mind, and are extracting what they want from one another relatively(?) peacefully(??)". like it might ultimately be a selfish game but they're adults they'll figure it out probably idk its none of my business what they choose to get up to. wouldn't get into that type of shit myself though LOL

women are playing kind of dangerous games with each other but i forgive them because it's interesting to rotate in my mind...<3

another thorn to consider for their future bonding endeavors from here on ofc is that without being "cornered" the way they are, they would not be running this type of "risk math" in the first place. it's hard for either of them to fully back away at this point because they're already cornered in their personal lives; toriumi is incredibly isolated and lonely with a pretty insecure lifestyle even when she's NOT actively sawing through the branch she's sitting on, and kawakami famously MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY RIGHT NOW because she's being extorted by an unrelated third party. looking ahead it does kind of start to look like an ouroboros of "taking advantage of each other" bc it's hard for both of them to leave their individual situations; it's kind of like, if they weren't here with each other they'd be ... well, they'd be here—just with someone else...

they didn't put each other in this jam—it was unrelated personal circumstances and sheer coincidence that pushed them together—but now that they've committed to each other, it's hard to reverse back out, if that makes sense. i think that kind of thing is interesting too, because it makes me want to see them recognize this, connect, and help each other pull out of their Greater individual personal messes. you know? we can make it if we try... just the two of us... 😔

(unfortunately step 1 of that is ofc to make a genuine personal bond that isn't wrapped up in all this for-pay roleplay stuff. drat!)

tl;dr they're both simmering under high pressure and don't try this at home, but they do already have a sort of tacit agreement forming that this level of messy play is OK between them—as long as the rewards continue to outweigh the risks. at the end of the day, it's a delicate balance ultimately hinging on a money-for-services transaction, so if either of them stopped feeling like paying their half was worth it, it would rapidly come apart. i guess it's kinda like the ways you can tell if animals are genuinely beefing or just playing rough—are they willingly coming back? 💀 ...

no lmao where's that post thats like "this would be terrible if it was anyone else, but considering the people involved this is actually the best option" HRBHJDJG that's kind of how it feels. like if they're gonna be stuck with Somebody (and they would be), its probably good luck that they got Each Other. at least the narrative can sustain the balance of this one and maybe even solve it down the line. heart

to round this post off i would say if i had to nominate one of them, kawakami is probably the most "in control" atm—since she figured out very quickly that she was dealing with an easy mark and moved in to make her a regular customer (quite successfully i might add per the end of #3 lmaoo). i think that's been kinda fun, since in her SLink she's immediately on the back foot due to being unmasked by the inciting incident. we know she will lie and attempt to play to the listener's sympathy, so unleashing her with her Mask Still On has been fun 😭 for her part, toriumi is not only taken with the funny maid (& emotionally invested in her IRL situation to boot), but also very clumsily trying to obtain something she's scared to have, which makes her very impulsive/erratic in her rulebreaking compared to kawakami's much more intentional plays...

play of the game 🧹 (<- there's no maid emoji idk its housekeeping)

of course, my future plans will immediately jostle this entire dynamic into something else and make this whole post obsolete, but i don't wanna lay that out ahead of time. smiles.

anyway, otome dissection on the playlist or whatever

#file under: posts that are only interesting to a NICHE AUDIENCE. but here r my thoughts on the thing that i made up. #if you're curious about the Failteacher Meta. #tl;dr never involve anyone else in whatever it is you two have going on but i hope you ... enjoy all that

[alaynestone]

You don’t have to post this if you don’t want. I just wanted to say I was one of those curious, openminded fans willing to entertain the idea of samjohn (mostly bc deanjohn feels so congruent with canon + there’s so much interesting meta on it that managed to convert me + incestuous households usually affect all of it’s members) but just like you said I was immediately put off by the blatant character assassination that pervades everything from fics to edits to the propaganda in that incest poll lmao.

I guess that’s the major difference - deanjohn requires little to no stretching of imagination bc it already fits seamlessly into canon, whereas samjohn almost demands ooc shenanigans to work.

I also just found the way fans talk about it nauseating for some reason, though that’s likely more of a reflection of my own personal triggers. I love digesting incest narratives, but the fetishistic angle of that blog really makes my stomach turn. That’s not a moral judgement on anyone else’s enjoyment btw! Just another reason why this ship didn’t resonate with me.

thank you for sending me this. it's clear that a lot of people feel the same way.

when i first joined fandom, the few j/s fics were straightforward evil!john non-con. not my thing, but i understood why it was written that way. then came the inexplicably popular fandom creation of "sexkitten sam" which continues to pollute the entire sam/dean fandom and of course extends to other ships too. i'm not even gonna get started on why that's "problematic" because that's not the point, it's not remotely in character. even as an exaggeration sam is not the kind of person to attempt to find agency in outward submission or objectification. he's very vocally not compromising his identity to please his family and especially john. dean is more like that so when you have sam acting like a fetishized pinterest aesthetic moodboard version of dean and dean acting like an old man from wattpad i'm understandably left squinting at the screen. then it's genderswapping sam and using that as a personality eraser because women are automatically submissive and naive and trad?

who is being converted by all this when it has nothing to do with sam, john or even dean? where is dean in all this actually? a core aspect of their family is that dean is closest to both sam and john who rarely had much opportunity to bond without him. there was a distance between sam and john throughout sam's childhood and adolescence. most of his parental needs were being fulfilled by dean even if that was never enough. their situation with their father wasn't the average one where they were simply 2 kids fighting for his attention.

for the most part j/s appears to be about "envying" dean's position in the family. it's about diminishing or straight up erasing dean and more notably about feminizing sam. either directly or otherwise. people generally seem to have big issues with the fact that sam is a man and confidently so. most of the annoying tropes in wincest fandom have this at their core. and of course in order for sam to be "the woman" dean needs to genuinely and authentically be the most stereotypical of cishet men. it's very transparent because right from the start the show poked holes at dean's performance of masculinity. it was very much the point. dean's gender issues could fill a book yet any alternative interpretation of sam and gender seeks to cast dean as the oppressive bigot who would never get it? stopping here before i get off topic but to make myself clear: in theory i respect headcanons i don't understand, but not when they spitefully exist to deny dean's depth in every possible way.

to return to my point about dean's pseudo spouse and mother position being enviable, it misses the point of how harmful john's parenting was to both of them. it's no coincidence that they both view themselves as the unfavorite. dean believes he's taken for granted, only valued for what he can give, how well he can perform his roles, how successfully he could play at being an adult even before he hit double digits. dean can't just exist and be himself while sam is uncompromisingly himself. because of that he believes john doesn't like him, never liked him, rejected him, didn't have time for him, didn't trust him enough with the family secrets, even when those secrets directly concerned him. as of season 1 he still has contempt for dean for what he views as unquestioning obedience to john and letting himself be molded by john. dean had to fight for every scrap of approval and affection and sam refused to do the same if it meant sacrificing his own needs and identity. not everyone reacts to abuse the same way and both characters are very much shaped by their different reactions to their environment. and any j/s shipper argument that is built on the idea that sam was the one john loved more is not only gleefully mocking dean's parentification but ignoring that sam being comparatively sheltered and treated like a son is yet another reason why john would not cross such a line with him. dean "gets it", dean lost mary too, dean is his partner and his confidant, dean can handle adult responsibilities, dean is loving and supportive, dean isn't making him confront his parenting failures, dean can't say no to him. like you said, it doesn't at all stretch the imagination to make j/d fit into dean's backstory. "you are not a child" - "i never was".

as i have been saying, any remotely ic exploration of j/s would have to follow both j/d and s/d. i can't believe in a universe where j/s is the only incest that happens in the family. i think a theoretical plausible j/s fic would have to not only accept but embrace its adjacency to the 2 ships that are compliant with the canon. but whether sam knows for a fact about j/d or not, there's no way he isn't severely impacted by the proximity to that relationship in a number of ways and that's a very compelling dynamic in its own right.

tldr i agree with you anon. people can read and write whatever they want but there's a big difference between incest subtext that is believable and just saying things in a way that's meant to provoke.

#but i think most baffling of all is the trend of j/s being paired up with pro john rhetoric #''john loved sam too that's his boy!! so obviously he was molesting him too'' #whaat #incest////

[peaktora]

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍, 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 ˚◞♡ ⃗ eren yeager

𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 ┊ he gets bruises, and you do too — but atleast you don’t try and hide them.

𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 ┊ 0.7k words. college!au. mentions of a bloody nose and gory arm but nothing really detailed. no pronouns used or specified gender.

a/n. — i tried not to make eren his stereotyped college self, but i can’t help but headcannon that he gets into fights here and there (so keep that in mind)

“I can’t believe you tried to hide this from me.” you took your first A.I.D kit out of the bottom cabinet, placed it on the countertop, and demanded, "now sit down," while pointing at the toilet.

eren sighed as he dragged his feet across the hardwood floor, not wanting to rile you up any further than you already were. he sat down and waited for your next instructions.

"it's not that bad.” he attempts to explain, just then, you scoff at his words. "I've been through worse, this is nothin’.”

"yeah, well, a couple more nose-breaking fights within the next year or so and it'll be somethin'," you mumbled, taking what you could from your kit.

"it's not a broken nose... just a scraped arm and a bleeding nose.”

you go to eren with a tissue in your hand and mop up any blood that was flowing around his nose. the white cloth quickly turning red.

you take another tissue from the counter, stuff it up his nose, and throw away the used one.

"hold that still," you say firmly, and he grunts at how rough your work was.

"clean my wounds any harder and ima get another one..”

you mentally roll your eyes as you unroll the familiar pack of bandages. feeling the soft but scratchy bandages again, you couldn't help but remember the times you had treated his wounds. ones worse than his bloodied nose and (really) graphic arm scrape. but throughout it all, at all times, you gave him the softest touches and wipes you were able to conjure up. as you never intended to harm him.

and you didn't try to hurt him now, but god, was he annoying you.

"are there any other wounds I should be aware of?” you tell him, "and don't hide ‘em," and he pauses before grinning smugly at you.

without warning his fingertips pierced the belt holes in your pants, and he dragged you in close to his body. his legs sprawled on either side of yours as you stood in the center, providing warmth.

it was now that the phrase "actions speak louder than words" has never been truer. because from the way you complained and told him to cut it out, he would’ve had to consider letting you go. he knew he didn't have to, though, because of the way you hesitated to move away and how your breath caught.

something you wish he hadn’t noticed.

sure, eren wasn't the best at expressing himself to others, but he could read people like a book.

you yelped as he yanked you down, landing you on his lap.

"no injuries except a broken heart," he playfully pouted.

the silence that followed was deafening.

eren tilted his head to the side, his gaze lingering on your face. from your eyes down to your lips, left to right. from this angle, or really any angle, they were irresistibly kissable—even when you were upset with him. but, when are they not when you're angry?

he gently leans in, and you’re aware of his plans, but you still can't let him win just yet. least not right now.

as you lean down to pick up the fallen bandages, his lips change course and meet your cheek.

it lasted a while (maybe it's because he expected it to meet your lips), and you let them linger. you don't so much return the kiss as you let yourself be kissed.

"if you're done making out with my cheek," you raise to face eren, "can I wrap up that arm for you?"

you say it as if you didn't just avoid my kiss, is what you think your boyfriend wanted to say. yet that never comes up.

eren frowned and shook his head for the third time that day, "no, not yet. but you’re welcome to stay with me.”

your brows furrow.

"held in my bloodied arms, on the toilet..." he continued.

you can't help but smile as you roll your eyes.

his fingers never left your belt holes, twisting them around his fingers. he drew you in closer, dangerously closer.

his weight is exactly what you were looking for, and his arms encircling you is even better (even though you feel a sliver of hot blood bleeding through your shirt). you burrow your head into eren's chest and give it a quick kiss.

"hey," he whispered.

"what?"

“give me a proper kiss.”

“you’re so needy…it’s always something with you.”

yet, you raise your head to meet his.

#(っˆ ³(ˊ ᵕ ˋก ) ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐀 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 ࿐ྂ #old writing #aot x reader #eren x reader #aot fluff #attack on titan x reader #eren fluff #attack on titan fluff #eren yeager #eren jeager #attack on titan #aot eren #eren x you #aot

[liliemay4]

The Flower and The Star

In which the Flower comforts the star. (Please don't judge spelling errors too hard, I'm dyslexic and trying my best) this isn't based on Atyd, the books, or any other fanfiction literally just something that I think about consistently, if it does remind you of a fic or something please lmk I'd love to read it! TW: abuse, bruises, scars, family issues, crying, smoking Gender-fluid Sirius bc that's the way I see them <3 (I also suck at dialogue so let's ignore that) this is not proofread

The clock chimes once again, marking the final hour of the day. The most dreadful day. They were very different people in the same household, who would whisper in French across the tables so that nobody else could understand, different class houses, different friends, different minds, different bruises, different scars, yet the same creators. The Black brothers went from passing secret notes and meeting in the dark halls not returning until one face was drenched in tears and the other shirt was soaked through on the shoulder, the brothers that made sure to speak daily returned from the winter break, the younger of the two covered in more bruises and fresh scars than usual, the other a new sense of relief floating wherever he goes. Neither speaking or looking at the other. Regulus couldn't spare Sirius a glance without almost shedding tears, sirius couldn't think about Regulus without feeling like a failing traitor who had broken a promise he swore to keep. The fire crackles, lighting Sirius' face, glistening against the tears soaking into his skin. The portrait creaks as the auburn-haired flower strides into the room, bag on shoulder books in hand, her shoes clicking against the floor, Sirius hiding from her line of sight as long as possible, a quiet chime of his ring tapping the floor captures her attention immediately.

"Sirius? What're you doing down there hun?"

Their hands slide across their face in attempt to hide the tears before smiling up at Lily, the flower.

"Oh, nothing for you to bother with. Just a long day..."

Her books slide into her bag as she drops them to the couch stepping towards him and kneeling beside him, falling slightly to the side as she sits. Her arms slide around their shoulders, wrapping him tightly against her. No words need to be shared anymore, her understanding ringing through Sirius' mind. Sirius left his brother, Lily's sister practically disowned her, Sirius' other shot nasty words at them, and Lily's sister mails her letters regarding her disgust towards her. Very different situations yet still a strong understanding between the two. Both would kill for their siblings, yet would their siblings do the same? Does it really matter as long as they have each other? Everyone knows James and Sirius' widely known mischievous brotherly love for one another. They know James' unnerving never-ending love for the tired Lily. But how many people know of Sirius and Lily's love for one another? Do they know how far they'd go for one another? James and his family welcomed Sirius into their home and offered to adopt them, called them their kid.

But Lily? You'd have to kill her before she admitted to it, but when she found out Sirius's home life, saw their scars? She showed up at the house. Left a package full of the marauder's tricks with Kreacher along with a note, calling Walburga a disappointment, calling her a pitiful bitch for even daring to harm Sirius, and informing her that if it ever happened again that it wouldn't just be a box she'd be receiving, it'd be a whole damn army. She spoke to Regulus and explained how much it hurt Sirius to leave without him, explained how Sirius would've taken him in a heartbeat if it wasn't so impulsive and dangerous.

Sirius on the other hand? he found petunia, and spoke to her, not in a very friendly way either. Warned Petunia of the mischief that he wasn't afraid of getting into, let her know just how many people were willing to swing for Lily. Informed her that all the things the marauders got into at school weren't just for the kids at school and that they'd gladly send her a few things that would shut her mouth and keep it like that if she didn't do it herself.

We all know James and Sirius. Everyone knows Lily and Remus. But I think its time we heard about Lily and Sirius more. How much does he know about her secret relationship? How much does she know about his secrets? James would fight til death for Sirius, but could he follow through with the kill? Our precious little flower though? No hesitation in threatening the people that want to kill her and others like her. She'd say fuck magic and shoot anyone that hurts Sirius on the spot.

#sirius black #lily evans #the marauders #james potter #remus lupin #regulus black #harry potter

[totallynotthedarkreunion]

Promoting myself again bc I'm bored, heres my dn swap au fanfic again

So basically L is the one that ends up with the notebook and Light is the detective trying to catch him, and there's a lot of convoluted overthinking and people dying. It also features some shinigami realm shenanigans and Matt and Mello

Here's the summary and first bit of first chapter

Summary

L Lawliet is a normal- or rather, abnormal - person, who one day happens to come across a magic notebook that grants one the power to kill people simply by writing their name and knowing their face. He is unsure of what to do with it at first, but it sparks his curiosity. Lawliet then comes into contact with someone who is trying to take away his newfound power -- a detective who goes by "Moon," and just so happens to be the greatest detective in the world. What will Lawliet do about Moon in their battle of wits?

---------------------------------------------------

I possess many different traits that a lot of people may lack. For one, I am exceptionally intelligent. I don't mean to be rude but it is true, and if I am being rude, so be it. Another one I can think of is my ability to stay awake for many, many hours on end -- however, I don't think of that as a positive thing. But that has little to no relevance to this story. I've been told before that my abilities are 'amazing,' 'incredible,' or even 'rare', but I've never been told in what way I should use them. I think it's fairly obvious that I shouldn't use them to harm others, after the events regarding Beyond Birthday, but what do I do with them, then? Perhaps I'll use them for myself. After all, I am very bored.

Typically, I don't spend time outside. It could have been fate that I did today, or maybe pure coincidence. Either way... to summarize my situation, I decided to sit outside of my establishment, on a mahogany chair with a faded, rustic quality to it. The chair creaked as I lowered myself into it. It had been there for many years, longer than I had been. I watched as the children played in the yard. I thought to myself that I was once like them, yet simultaneously, I was not.

I sat, becoming consumed by the thoughts in my mind, when a notebook fell out of the sky. It's hard to believe such an abrupt and ridiculous claim. Even I, who experienced it, did not fully believe it. It made contact with my head, which was quite painful.

On the front of the book, the words "Death Note" were inscribed. I picked it up to examine it, eventually taking it inside. One of the children noticed. He did not ask about it. He only returned to his puzzle, peering at piece after piece through his tangled white hair.

Ever since then, I have kept the notebook in my room. My room is very drab, some might say. The lights are always dimmed and the walls are bare. That is how I think best.

It has been roughly two weeks since the book appeared. I've opened the book once or twice, skimming over the rules written inside. I know exactly what it is. Some might think it's a prank, a very elaborate one, but I can assure you, it is an authentic artifact (I mean, it fell out of the sky). I haven't used it, and I won't.. although, it sparks curiosity inside of me. It's as if I won't be satisfied until I attempt to use it.

But I wouldn't kill. I could never-

"You haven't used it yet? I thought by now you would've at least written one name."

------------------------------------------------

Here's the link

If you're more of a Wattpad person its there too under the same username and title

I hope people find this

#death note #dn #dn fanfic #deathnote fanfiction #light yagami #l lawliet #just them being sillies

[riddleredcoats]

Do you think it's okay to return to Harry Potter once JK Rowling is (hopefully soon) dead? I've distanced myself from the series because of her but unfortunately I've attachment issues and keep hoping that at least I can return when she's no longer harming actual people. Btw I adore your Dragon Age fics.

First of all, thank you for reading my fics! It's such a niche subject in DA that I didn't think I'd get any readers much less the amount it seems to generate. I am glad you like them! 😊

Second of all, and I say this with all the love I have for a stranger on the internet, which is not insignificant, don't let people on the internet tell you what to do; not me, not anyone else, though I am somewhat strangely flattered that you thought to ask, lmao.

Seriously now, inform yourself, absolutely, but ultimately it is up to you to judge what you want to do and if any potential harm that it will cause is worth it. 

If you are asking me personally what I am going to do? I won't deny that every time that HP is mentioned it hurts me a lil bit - I mean, I wrote fanfic for this series, ones that I am slightly embarrassed about if only because I was such a new writer, but I did - and it had an impact in my life beyond just fandom as it helped me connect with people even when I was awkwardly shy. So, yeah, I get it. 

But, personally, I will not be buying and/or reading anything wrt Harry Potter again. The whole thing left a bitter taste in my mouth that has tainted the whole series for me, even looking at the books on my bookshelf makes me wince now; maybe if that didn't happen, when she died I would return to the books, but as it is, I doubt it. I admit to a morbid curiosity as to what the plot of the game is, as I cannot believe that the writers of the game would be unaware of all the controversy (even back when they started production of the game) surrounding goblins and would make a game revolving around that... So, I will probably read a review or two, just to see what it is all about, but I will promptly (try to) forget about it. I admit that I considered getting the game through... uh, some other means, but it would just hurt me more, so I decided against it in the end.

Ultimately, do I believe that the most she can do is while she is alive? Yes. Do I think that when she eventually fades away (either by death, by letting go of the rights (which is never going to happen, lmao) or some other way) there is an argument to go back to HP? Perhaps, I am not exactly fluent in these types of things, so I would recommend someone with a better insight of 1. The Industry and 2. The Major Issues At Large (transphobia and antisemitism) and 3. What is left of her Estate when she dies and what it will do, if you want an informed opinion.

Anyway, anon, most of all I am sorry that JKR  is a horrible TERF who appears to be revelling in the hate she gets and the harm she does, and I am sorry that you feel comforted by something you cannot really enjoy anymore. 

#ask #mine #Harry Potter

[prnanxiety]

12/15/23

I think I missed an opportunity with a patient today.

The patient is classic BPD. Every sign, every symptom. People are either the most wonderful nurses in the world, or the devil in sheeps clothing. Feels every comment, every praise or curse, at 20x the intensity anyone else might. Very attention seeking, somatic symptoms, symptoms that sound somatic but might actually be legit and are being masked by the somatic symptoms, boundary testing, no internal locus of control, it's all there.

On the acute unit, we always have a "quiet time" immediately after lunch; it's like an enforced siesta, which is especially useful on days where the energy and anxiety on the unit is really amping up. And it was, today; a different patient from the patient in question was getting angrier and angrier for six hours straight. His frustration was starting to get contagious, and it spread to our BPD patient in question.

Somebody was asking her to finish up her lunch and not to forget to put her meal tray away, as well as finish filling out her menu for tomorrow. Patient felt like she was being ordered around too much, and wasn't having it. I only heard the shouting from the nurses station, something about an expensive engagement ring, and saw something thrown at a technician. I got there, asked the patient to return to her room, and came back with some IM haldol.

So the thing is, the patient is now in the "tension reduction" stage. Different theory books or deescalation guides have different names for it, but it's the same thing; that period after an outburst of anger and aggression in which a patient is calming down. Pending what they were angry about, their feelings change; in this case it was also standard, in the form of shame. She was tearful, frustrated, repeated "I can't help it! When I get like that, I lose control!"

Here's the thing. Working in psych, I know that's not true. It might be the case that a patient with BPD feels very strongly a certain way about something, but they always have a choice for how they respond. But this patient, for how tearful and frustrated she was, and for her background, I have to consider the possibility she's never gotten help. Unreliable historian and all, it still clarified in her chart that she hadn't had a psych admission in many years.

I realized I wasn't sure, in the moment, how to explain the problem she was having from a clinician's perspective. Just saying to someone "You're like this because you have BPD" isn't and will never make someone understand. It takes explaining the symptoms a person is having to them, why they're a symptom of BPD, and how they work. And, ideally, explaining how learning DBT is what helps with managing those symptoms. To help keep someone from throwing food at someone who's only trying to help them, for instance.

Instead, all I could really do was just listen, clarify and reclarify why we make different decisions on the unit, explain why the haldol wasn't punitive if I need to, and be a listening ear. It's not harmful, but it only goes so far; I really think if I knew more about how to, I don't know, "Clinically dismantle" BPD in the way that a trained and experience therapist can, I could have made a real difference for that patient in that moment. But I'm not, so I didn't.

I dunno. I'm gonna ask my friend the counselor for some reading material on how to intervene with patients who have BPD. I don't like just boxing them up on a unit and missing all the opportunities to intervene.

#dear diary #diary entry #nursing #psych #psychiatry #psychosis #nurse #schizophrenia #bpd #bpd splitting #borderline #borderline personality disorder

[decapitatedtea]

They agreed that they were homosexual abominations and that they weren't going to be received into HIS Kingdom and they do not have homosexual relations they have taboo relations and nothing of either or abominable.

They done made a fool of themselves:

Paul wrote letters called Epistles to a specific church leader in obviously they had 1 church in every area so he wrote the leader of each one. Let's say it's comparable to being in the Baptist Church a specific group who choose to open a building in each 48 continuous States. Write those of the group of churches information and no one who contested it acknowledge sentiments in objection was acknowledged. Only the letter she sent to each of the 48 continuous States was acknowledged. Gathered put in a book and sent abroad. This is what is happening in the United States church society.

These leaders have never researched to understand Greek mythology is a truth of actual fact of events. So while other area have fun and be dismissive in Asia Minor it's not a laughing matter. These folk in Cornith were upset that those deemed as Greek gods are having sex with mortals females in this, region having babies and they can't control them. To their way of life being what is a, system here they come fucking things up. He felt to agree with mortals spoke against the New Covenant that sex for these being is not abominable and no one opposed in recognition.

In the United States of America these religious leaders and readers of that book don't even address the contents o_ that letter as they were addressed. Somehow these folk have now added men who don't have sex and enjoy anal stimulation with men as the terminology of homosexual relations. There is not one Pastor Bishop Pope who felt to agree that sex couldn't be the same act as anal stimulation and agree that for immortal beings having sex with mortals however opposed especially when the female is in a relationship is still the New Covenant.

Y'all are a work of art that is soon discarded and when my step dad Allen F Butler Jr said good for nothing in my heart this is what good for nothing embodies. You don't work truth, you don't stand for the truth in other words like Malcolm X saying stand for truth or fall for beguile by way of stand for something or fall for everything.

Secret the immaculate child born to the virgin is the ultimate act of homosexual relations should you oppose homosexual relations.... baby it is said that you oppose the baby born immaculately how are you going to receive our Creator without HIS Son being received of you there is no return to HIM. Let's say like this you can't receive the resurrection your family can't have THY Kingdom Come babies and the odd thing is no deliverance of evil. I know why they are up here claiming themselves to be evil you didn't get delivered of him. He told someone... I'm listening like baby they through them horrid words but truthfully you are delivered of evil not people. The said thing is to think by deliverance of evil we are removed of people who oppose truth. When in truth just like they moved their asses from Columbia Warrensburgh Ottawa KCK to their version of South Side Chicago, ATL, LA area, NY, NJ, CT, Baltimore etc etc it wasn't called deliverance of evil so when is it called deliverance of evil in the same city but they are refusing to not do harm by 1st or 2nd degree murder.

Harm by 1st 2nd degree murder is not deliverance of evil. Even if the DA of Jackson County agrees and doesn't prosecute them. Even if the KC police departments don't arrest them detain and bring no or charges them in criminal code or securing penal codes. Deliverance of evil should been a phrase as a pastors, Bishop Pope etc you think they represent but again you think. So I'm going to take it all the way and say no they dont. And now we know why because they are homosexual opposed.

[llwelleyn]

things I have learned from my first, real adult job:

do NOT, under ANY circumstances lend your coworkers books

it doesn't matter how much you like them or whatnot, don't fucking do it

it's been almost a year and a half since I gave out two books, to different coworkers - who both now no longer work at the same company

one book I've just written off as a complete loss - I've already read it, and don't mind picking up a second copy especially since the second in the trilogy is set to come out soon

the other, I haven't read but really want to, so I'm getting into contact with the borrower to see what's up and to determine if I have to buy it

#llwelleyns thoughts #i like sharing books #i like discussing books #i don't like when people either harm my books OR just never return them #and coworkers are like... flimsy????? they may around for a long time or they might not #we couldn't have predicted what happened last year but i had one of them reach out to me about it #and when i tried to follow up on that he suddenly didn't have transportation and hasn't messaged me again #he also wanted to... give me a different book? so idk what the fuck is up with that #i have the feeling that mine is either lost or he accidentally ruined it so it was what it is

[introvertguide]

Abuse of Children Portrayed in Film

I like to use movies as an escape from the harshness of the real world and one of the things that I have learned about in my education is the effects on children when they are mistreated. I have a Masters Degree in Developmental Psychology and one of the hardest classes for me to handle was Abnormal Development in Children and Adolescents. We covered everything from dealing with dyslexia and ADHD to surviving severe abuse and loss at a very early age. We had guest speakers that ranged from people who had escaped genocide as children, to individuals who had been sold into prostitution by their parents, to people who had suffered severe abuse from their parents or guardian. I have heard stories that will stick with me forever and that is nightmare fuel that I don't want to share.

Because of my background education, I take note of the treatment and behavior of children and adolescents in the movies that I watch. There have been many great movies over the years that have depicted the suffering of children and it has always been difficult for me to deal with. There are more well known examples of films that focus on suffering but throw in more of a "sometimes we all suffer, even the children" message that demonstrate that kids aren't immune to great travesties (basically any film about The Holocaust). There are also well known films that show children "coming of age" through hardship (Annie 1982, Oliver! 1968) but end perfectly. There is a more current series of films that focuses entirely on a boy discovering a fantasy world that was robbed from him when his parents were murdered by a tyrant (Harry Potter series). But in this list I want to review some lesser known films that show examples of abuse. Even after all that I have seen and heard, the following list of films have affected me personally for one reason or another. Sometimes the children in these films endure and overcome their situation in the end. Sometimes these children do not survive or sadly remain in their misfortunes. To me, this can make the movie all the more powerful because of the incredible amount of pathos that endangering a child character can add. It can also make it a heart wrenching experience that is painful to watch. Here are some powerful films in which children suffer and the struggle is one of the main plot lines of the movie:

SPOILER WARNING AND VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISORY!!! I AM GOING TO GIVE AWAY THE PLOT TO THESE FILMS AND IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING THAT SOME OF THE PLOTS ARE DISTURBING!!! EITHER WATCH THE FILM IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS OR CHECK OUT THE FOLLOWING SUMMARIES IF YOU WOULD RATHER JUST HEAR WHAT HAPPENS SO YOU KNOW IF YOU WANT TO WATCH OR NOT!!!

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Sybil (TV Movie) 1976

I just recently saw this film after I had heard of the story in my abnormal development class almost 10 years ago. It is the story of a woman who developed multiple personalities to deal with a childhood in the care of an undiagnosed schizophrenic mother. The movie stars Sally Fields and is based on a true account of Shirley Ardell Mason and her treatment by psychologist Cornelia Wilbur. The acting in the film is overdramatic at times, but it definitely reminded me of some of the actual old videos of Shirley Mason and her sudden strange switches in personality when she was scared or anxious. Dr. Wilbur used hypnosis to actually introduce Mason to her alternate personalities and she was able to recognize her disassociative identity disorder and overcome it. It still hurts me to think that this person was mentally wounded so deeply by her parents that it basically shattered her into pieces in an effort to make sense of things.

Leon: The Professional 1994

I mention this film a lot because it is a heartwarming story of an assassin teaching a young orphan how to murder. It is the breakout role for Natalie Portman and it is just amazing. Leon is a "cleaner" that lives next door to an abusive and addictive family with a troubled girl named Mathilda. The father gets in trouble with the mob and some enforcers come by and slaughter most of the family while Mathilda is getting groceries. She returns during the massacre and realizes what is happening so continues next door and pleads for shelter. Leon takes her in and teachers her the trade and protects her from the men who want to finish her off. The movie was written and directed by Luc Besson and stars Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, and Natalie Portman. The suffering that this girl endures because of her parent's addictions hurts me, yet I have seen and enjoyed this film many times. I recommend watching when in the mood to be deeply affected by the trials of a little girl and the killer who protected her.

Kids 1995

This film came out when I was early in high school and bothered me greatly. It is a story by Harmony Korine, and one of his many attempts to capture the hopeless lives of unmotivated and unsupervised teens. These are young teens having unprotected sex, stealing money to do drugs, and attacking people in the park. I did not really go to these kinds of parties when I was that age (or ever really) and it has bothered me to think that adolescents would partake in this kind of behavior. It is hard for me to believe that these kids had the ability to mentally comprehend the consequences of their actions and some of the characters end up contracting HIV from each other. I would not recommend the film because it is a depressing day in the life that no youth should have.

Gummo 1997

I would not call this a good movie and I wouldn't really recommend it. It is another work by Harmony Korine and really details the depravity that can occur with unsupervised youths living in low socio-economic conditions. This movie is just depressing and motivated me to find something to motivate me into action. I got into both psychology and teaching, which has served me well for the past 20 years. It was this film that showed me how low the bar for quality of life could be, and I guess for that I am thankful. However, I still wouldn't recommend it.

Happiness 1998

This movie I didn't see right away but noticed it at the video store on many occasions. I final watched it when I was about 25 on the recommendation of a friend and one particular storyline greatly disturbed me. It is basically the story of 3 sisters that feel they should be happy and project a face of happiness, yet they are miserable and have horrible lives. One sister in particular is married to a psychiatrist who turns out to be a pedophile that rapes the friends of his young son. At one point rather early on in the movie, this man confesses to his son that he raped the boy's friends and that he would do it again. The son is so confused that he asks his father why he never raped him. It is so disturbing to me because I know the boys that were assaulted will be forever damaged and this boy who was not actually raped will be mentally scarred as well. The fact that there are people in the world that would harm children that way, recognize what they had done, and then know they didn't have the self control to stop themselves from doing it again is horrifying to me.

Lilya 4-Ever 2002

This film is deeply disturbing and I highly recommend never watching it. I will spoil it for you now so you never have to see it if you don't want. A 16-year-old girl named Lilya lives with her mother. The mom gets a boyfriend and the couple move to America and abandons Lilya with a neglectful aunt. The aunt movies into the old apartment of her sister and Lilya is forced to move out and become a prostitute to make money. A boy comes along and convinces her to move to Sweden to escape her life. When they arrive, this boy sells her to a pimp and she becomes a teenage sex slave. She almost escapes, but is then captured and beaten almost to death. She escapes again and this time commits suicide so she won't be recaptured. This movie is awful and changed my mind about giving every film a chance. I wish I could forget this film, but I can't. Perhaps it is just not for me, but this film presentation is definitely an experience that you won't soon forget.

The Kite Runner 2007

I read this book in my twenties and saw the film in my thirties and both affected me greatly. A well-to-do boy and his friend are in a kite battle competition and the friend is beaten and raped when he goes to retrieve a fallen kite. The well-to-do boy denies knowing what happened to his friend (he does know) and basically shames and abandons him. This action haunts the well-to-do boy for the rest of his life. How the boy who was raped is basically falling prey to blaming the victim is heartbreaking, and the lifetime of guilt of the other boy is pitiable. Neither boy was the actual attacker yet they both were the ones that suffered.

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There are many other examples of movies along these lines and could be found if you feel like suffering. I can't say that I would recommend them because they are very difficult to watch. Beyond just dealing with the content, it is rare to find child actors who can actually portray somebody who has truly suffered. The mix of bad acting and a depressing plot can make for a terrible movie going experience. The genre of movie involving suffering does exist, though, and it could be enjoyed (?) by some. Just not generally by me.

#harmony korine #gummo #kids #the kite runner #suffering #psychology #depressing movies #introvert #introverts #happiness #lilya 4 ever #leon the professional #movies

[froggie-recs-fics]

How about a winterion fic rec- preferably post cw and anti the rest of team cap? I loooove those (also wanted to say thank you for what you do! Happy holidays! ♥️)

Aw it is completely my pleasure! And thank you <3!

Honestly, I don't read many anti-team Cap fics, but I have some winteriron post-CW fic recs. I'll organize them the best I can! All of these are post-CW :)

Thanks for sending in a request!

Anti-Team Cap

Changing Fate by Wix (T, CNTW, 27K, pre-slash, Time Travel)

Tony dies in Siberia under the hands of Captain America, but fate doesn't leave it there. He opens his eyes several years earlier amidst the threat of Loki's invasion and the first assembling of the 'Avengers'. Tony may not understand why he got this second chance, but he's going to do better with it - and he's decided that he's going to share it. With a Winter Soldier who could really use a different hand than he was dealt.

Never let it be said that fate doesn't have a sense of humor.

Forms of Love by bear_bell (E, 33K, Dissociative Identity (WS and Bucky are different people))

Months after the Avengers' dispute in Germany, the team returns to the US and moves back into the tower. As always, everyone pretends that nothing happened. Tony is just fine with this. He's used to pretending, and he'll be damned if he lets any of them see him flinch.

Tony's the bad guy, after all. He's used to it. He's fine with it. He's good at it.

Only now, there's something far worse loitering around the tower - The Winter Soldier. No one notices the guy at first, but when they do, Tony figures that he should have the soldier's back.

Birds of a feather should flock together, and the bad guys should start a book club.

The Mistletoe Kiss Polka by RayShippouUchiha @rayshippouuchiha (M, 11K, Angst, Holiday)

“That’s a damn shame,” Tony says, voice practically dripping with insincerity. He has zero interest in playing whatever party game Wilson’s come up with in order to try and boost team morale.

Tony already knows how well that particular situation would likely play out if he was involved.

“They engaged in the game known as Secret Santa,” FRIDAY keeps going. “Since you were not available the last name in the pot was to be assigned to you automatically.”

“Of course it was,” Tony waves a hand absently in the air around him. “Look FRI you can pick whatever for whoever I’m getting saddled with and be done with it. Just … throw some money at them or something. I don’t actually care.”

“Actually, Boss,” FRIDAY cuts in. “I believe you’re going to want to handle this one on your own.”

Just Let Me Breathe by ali_aliska (M, 9K, Hanahaki Disease, Friends to Lovers, Angst)

James didn’t notice the first itch in his throat, too enamored by the sight of Tony, too distracted by his selfish wishes to have this man’s love.

He didn’t realize this would be the end until the first red petal fell from his lips.

A Tug in the Right Direction by ali_aliska (T, 8K, Polyamory, Dissociative Identity (WS and Bucky are different people))

On his way home, Tony finds an injured stray in an alley and despite his best intentions, ends up adopting the dog.

As dogs tend to do, the newest furry Compound resident makes everyone’s lives just a little bit brighter (unless one dares to wish harm upon Tony), up to and including throwing off the whole betting pool and accomplishing what the rest of the team had been unable to do in regards to the three pining idiots.

Team Cap Neutral or Positive

It was Never Just Coffee by TheSopherfly @sopherfly (G, 2K, Fluff)

Bucky starts making Tony coffee. Really good coffee. Finally, Tony asks why.

Winter Wooer by salytierra @fakesheep-luna-blog (M, 8K, Polyamory, Dissociative Identity (WS and Bucky are different people))

Winter may not be the most pleasant guy to live or share your body with, but he isn't nearly as destructive as everybody expected him to be either. He likes to brood in the corners, watch British TV, and freak people out. And Tony. He really, really likes Tony Stark. There's just one problem – Bucky's pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way about the guy.

The only thing you need to know about this story is that no matter how much you like winteriron, you'll never ship them as much as Steve ships them here.

Four Strings and Second Chances by Vashoth (M, Violence, 35K, Fix-it, Angst)

It was reluctance to let one of his finest inventions ever out of his grasp that made him take a couple days over a week to send the arm to Pepper’s office. But all things considered, Tony figured that sending finest prosthetic that had ever come into existence--literally grasping an olive branch--was one of the classiest gifts he’d ever given. He’d included a note and everything. ‘Barnes,

Can help with installation. Or not. Up to you. --Stark'

#winteriron #tony x bucky #winteriron fic rec #fic rec list #fic rec #post cacw #time travel #angst #holiday #hanahaki disease #friends to lovers #polyamory #fluff #fix it

[hchollym]

So you don't think Brandon was the father of Ashara's baby?!

No, I don't. I'm not completely against it, so if it ends up being canon, then so be it, but I personally think Ned was the father.

Let's look at what we know about Ashara's relationship and the baby:

The crannogman saw a maid with laughing purple eyes dance with a white sword, a red snake, and the lord of griffins, and lastly with the quiet wolf . . . but only after the wild wolf spoke to her on behalf of a brother too shy to leave his bench.

We see her dancing with Ned, because Brandon asked for him, but it doesn't make any mention of Ashara dancing with Brandon.

He looked at her uncomfortably. "My aunt Allyria says Lady Ashara and your father fell in love at Harrenhal—"

Allyria Dayne - Ashara's sister - thinks that Ned was the one that Ashara fell for. Edric doesn't say anything about Brandon, which implies that Allyria didn't talk about him, but if Brandon was the father of Ashara's child, then don't you think Allyria would have at least mentioned him? And if she did, then it seems strange that Edric wouldn't at least comment on the fact that Ashara loved Arya's father but was pregnant by Arya's uncle (with a baby that would have been Arya's cousin), if that were actually the case.

"Aye, he told me. Lady Ashara Dayne. It's an old tale, that one. I heard it once at Winterfell, when I was no older than you are now."

The story about Ashara and Ned is one that plenty of people have heard about.

Is it possible that Ned used Ashara as a possible red herring for Jon's mother? Unlikely, given this situation:

That was the only time in all their years that Ned had ever frightened her. "Never ask me about Jon," he said, cold as ice. "He is my blood, and that is all you need to know. And now I will learn where you heard that name, my lady." She had pledged to obey; she told him; and from that day on, the whispering had stopped, and Ashara Dayne's name was never heard in Winterfell again.

That doesn't seem like a man that's encouraging rumors for the sake of throwing people off Jon's trail. Which means the rumors didn't start from him, and chances are, there was at least some truth to them. It seems to be the general consensus, even by Ashara's family, that there were feelings involved on both sides.

So could Brandon have slept with Ashara despite Ned's feelings for her? Yes, but I doubt it. Brandon was reckless and promiscuous, but he was also very family-oriented. I don't think people give him enough credit and recognize his loyalty to his family, but I have a hard time believing that he would betray his brother like that.

It seems to me like we see a lot of evidence for Ashara & Ned (not Ashara & Brandon), yet I usually see three arguments for why people don't believe Ned was the father:

1. Ned wouldn't dishonor someone.

"I doubt there's any truth to it. But if there is, what of it? When Ned met this Dornish lady, his brother Brandon was still alive, and it was him betrothed to Lady Catelyn, so there's no stain on your father's honor. There's nought like a tourney to make the blood run hot, so maybe some words were whispered in a tent of a night, who can say? Words or kisses, maybe more, but where's the harm in that? Spring had come, or so they thought, and neither one of them was pledged."

We also don't know that Ned didn't intend to marry Ashara eventually. Neither one was betrothed yet, so it was a definite possibility. And Edric Dayne implies that Ashara's heartbreak had something to do with her love for Ned, so it's very possible that she was as blindsided (and upset) by Ned's marriage to Catelyn.

2. Ned doesn't think about her in canon.

First of all, Ned has a tendency to push unpleasant thoughts away (we see Sansa do something similar), because it's too difficult for him to deal with. We don't see him think about his father or mother either, but that doesn't mean that he didn't love them.

Plus, there's only two times that someone brings up Ashara to Ned. The first time (with Catelyn), we don't see his own inner thoughts, so we can't say for certain what was going through his mind at the time, but we do know that he gets angry about the rumor.

The second time, this is what the conversation looks like:

"Honor," she spat. "How dare you play the noble lord with me! What do you take me for? You've a bastard of your own, I've seen him. Who was the mother, I wonder? Some Dornish peasant you raped while her holdfast burned? A whore? Or was it the grieving sister, the Lady Ashara? She threw herself into the sea, I'm told. Why was that? For the brother you slew, or the child you stole? Tell me, my honorable Lord Eddard, how are you any different from Robert, or me, or Jaime?"

"For a start," said Ned, "I do not kill children. You would do well to listen, my lady. I shall say this only once. When the king returns from his hunt, I intend to lay the truth before him. You must be gone by then. You and your children, all three, and not to Casterly Rock. If I were you, I should take ship for the Free Cities, or even farther, to the Summer Isles or the Port of Ibben. As far as the winds blow."

We don't see any inner thoughts from Ned at that moment, and it's obvious that he's focused on this very crucial situation happening at the present time, so I don't think his lack of reaction to Ashara's name here means anything.

3. Barristan Selmy only refers to Ashara's lover as "Stark."

But Ashara's daughter had been stillborn, and his fair lady had thrown herself from a tower soon after, mad with grief for the child she had lost, and perhaps for the man who had dishonored her at Harrenhal as well. She died never knowing that Ser Barristan had loved her. How could she? He was a knight of the Kingsguard, sworn to celibacy. No good could have come from telling her his feelings. No good came from silence either. If I had unhorsed Rhaegar and crowned Ashara queen of love and beauty, might she have looked to me instead of Stark?

I don't know; this seems like a weak argument to me. Barristan obviously sees this "Stark" as his rival for Ashara's affections, so I don't think it's all that important that he's thinking about him by his last name, which is less personal and can be attributed to his jealousy.

My last thought is that I don't see any narrative purpose for Brandon being the father of Ashara's baby. I don't like the idea of Young Griff as being their child who is just being passed off as Aegon (for a lot of reasons), so what other good would it be for this detail to be revealed in later books? To be fair, there isn't really any narrative purpose for Ned to be the father either, but there is more evidence so far pointing to him, and I tend to doubt that we are going to see anything new in future books about this. I think this is one of those topics that is just going to be left open-ended.

To summarize, this is all just my opinion (so take it with a grain of salt), but I think Ned was the father of Ashara's baby, and I don't think that diminishes or undermines his love for Catelyn in any way. Ultimately, I don't think this topic will be revisited or confirmed either way in future books, so I guess it's just left up to the readers to decide what we believe 🤷‍♂️

Thanks for the ask!

#ashara dayne #ned stark #brandon stark #ashara x ned #asoiaf #speculation #ask me #anon ask

[dilfdoctordoom]

🔥 Babs Gordon :>

I think all of my Babs opinions are controversial so let's just go under the cut for a moment

We are absolutely at the point where support of certain titles is a massive indication of, at the very least, passive ableism and I don't think fandom has the right to be mad at disabled fans for being pissed about that. This is about Nightwing but it's also about every fucking Batgirl book we've had since the New 52 started

The way Young Justice adapted her story was shit. I understand wanting to give Babs more agency -- but we know there are ways to do that without sacrificing the character of an Asian woman

Actually, on stories that give Babs agency in becoming disabled -- I don't like it. Now I know that sounds bad, but let me explain: Babs lack of agency is part of her origin story as Oracle. And I think that the Oracle Code dealt with this the best, because Babs... isn't given much agency in how she became disabled, but it isn't the shitshow of TKJ. Like, IDK how to explain to able-bodied people that most of the time, disabled people don't have agency in how they become disabled... and that such a big part of Oracle was Barbara reclaiming her agency. Casting that aside means reevaluating what Oracle is and no writer has ever actually done that

I'm not excited for the Batgirl movie. I think it'll be a Batgirl: Year One adaptation, which is great! Year One is probably the best Babs Batgirl story, but... Officer Barbara Gordon. Racist directors. It being a Babs Batgirl movie, when it could've been about Cass instead (look, I don't like her BOP characterization, so let's give her a movie where she has an accurate personality/backstory/etc)

I think one of the worst 'fanon' aspect of Barbara Gordon is this steadfast belief that the Joker shot her because she was Batgirl/she was Batgirl at the time of TKJ. Like... I think the fact that Babs decided to stop being Batgirl is infinitely more compelling. It also makes her one of the most interesting Batfamily members -- because she gave it up. She gave it up and she didn't need a tragedy to do that and god, I wish people'd remember that

Ted Kord is probably one of her better love interests and thanks to modern comics, I genuinely prefer him to Dick Grayson

Babs is kind of a bitch and I think that should stay! It's a flaw that makes her an interesting, dynamic character

And continuing from that! People need to remember that Babs was never a perfect mentor for Cass or Steph or even Charlie. Barbara is a very flawed person and so are all those characters and seeing how their flaws mix together and contradict each other and how their strengths combine to make those duos significantly better and more interesting to read

Dick/Babs did more harm than good to both characters and has actually done irreparable damage to them (and Kory)

Batgirl should always be a part of Babs story... provided they keep it so that she quit before TKJ. Actually should stay either way. Like how Dick should always be Robin before Nightwing, Babs should always be Batgirl before Oracle. And neither should ever return to those roles.

If a competent writer took a stab at it, I think I would enjoy LukeBabs? Hm especially with Jace I think there's something there for them, in how they fit with their families, expectations, the hero life AND HOW IT IMPACTED THEIR FAMILY, like genuinely... these two are a duo with endless potential and it makes me kinda mad that we only got to see them together in Burnside (AKA Babs has no character time)

I'm not excited for Batgirls at all, even if I exclude the ableism and the ongoing character assassination of Cass and Steph. I just think there's this push to make the mantle of Batgirl more important to Babs than it actually is. That's not to say it's not important to her -- it certainly is -- but recent comics have kind of pushed this idea that it's the most important thing to her, rather than something from her past that she's cherished and moved past. I also think that this book would've been somewhat tolerable if it actually explored what Batgirl meant to all three characters -- and had it end with them all leaving the mantle behind. Maybe handing it over to Tiffany Fox/Nell Little?

Nissa and Babs had a really fun, underrated dynamic and honestly, it feels more like what fanon thinks Babs and Steph were like

Acting like Babs has more 'power' as Batgirl than she ever did as Oracle is just so blatantly incorrect and one of the most infuriating things to read

The Burnside design. It's kinda ugly. I'm sorry but it is like Babs... Babs what trashcan did you fish that out of oh my god just steal Bruce's credit card and fix this mess

Within the next ten years, we are going to get some form of media where Barbara is Damian Wayne's love interest. Will not elaborate.

Savannah Welch is one of the best comic book casting decisions ever and I actually hope we get to see her again, hopefully as Oracle

#q & a #funniest thing about me is that i can write essays on babs & she's not even in my top 50 dc characters.