#i don't mind that at all if the drama has its own flavor and is well written with interesting characters

[ijuststareatstuffhereok89]

Title board created by the wonderful @mochie85!

The Final Test

A test with no correct answer awaits you, a year's work culminating in this. Your odds are dismal, unless you and Loki can pull off one last trick...

**MASTERLIST HERE** Pairing: Soft!Dom!Loki x F!Reader Content Warnings: smut, extensive mentions of death, euthanasia, and death-related philosophy, some dark content (though the characters won't be), exile, moodiness, smut, kinks of various flavors (look for specific chapter warnings), trauma and mental illness, reader is a captive, reader has a body count

CHAPTER-SPECIFIC WARNING: no actual smut, but thirsty thots thoughts are littered in individual sentences throughout and a scene that includes getting naked and touchy but no sex

05:59:59

No…” you whispered, sinking back to the floor. “You can’t!” 

Loki was speechless. “You…you can’t do this! What sort of skill does this test?”

No reply from the speakers. The clock passed its first minute. 

“Balderdash,” he growled angrily, kneeling beside you and wrapping you in his embrace. “This isn’t the bargain! If she succeeded, both of us would go free!” 

Still no reply. You knew you weren’t going to get any. 

“This was supposed to be about control, not lethality! I…” Loki’s voice trailed off as something occurred to him. “I don't believe it.”

“What? What is it?” you squeaked in fear. 

“It’s been a trick this entire time,” he concluded. “From January First, this has all been a lie to both of us!” 

“How? Loki, how?” you asked, the panic beginning to form in your voice. 

“They’ve wanted you as a weapon this entire time, and if I’m the one to leave here alive, they will settle for my seidr,” he explained. “They were hoping we would feud and fight one another, building up the tension, meant to come to a head right here…”

“...in our own private Thunderdome.” you added. 

Loki nodded, planting a firm, protective kiss on your forehead. “They were hoping your hatred for me would galvanize your power into something they could control through controlling you. How did I not see it before?”

“Well, I’ll never work for them, even if I do make it out of here. Shows how much they know about us.”

He sighed. “That means, Y/N, they intend for you to win. They want you to kill me in here tonight, so that they may turn you into their Soldier of Death.”

“Fuck that,” you said immediately. “I’ll never lay a violent hand on you.” 

“Ah, love,” he said quietly. “We have six hours to mull this over, perhaps come up with a plan of our own. In the meantime, I intend to waste every single second they have. No sense in facing the drama before it’s necessary, yes?” 

You made a big show about kissing Loki, hoping every hidden camera in the room caught your tongue slipping down his throat. “I should suck your cock, right here, on camera.” 

You could hear Loki purr in spite of the fraught situation. “That won’t help, I’m sure of it,” he replied, before pausing to add, “Although…I wouldn’t mind marking these last hours of our lives by admiring your body’s soft, bare beauty…”

Grinning somewhat mischievously, you got to your feet and began stripping off your clothes, being sure to drag out the time until you were stark naked, before Loki, before the cameras, before Fury and Rogers and S.H.I.E.L.D…and you didn’t mind it. You even did a slow twirl with your arms out, exposing your breasts and torso to kingdom come. 

Giggling, you looked at him expectantly. “Well? You don’t get to have all the fun!”

Loki chortled and snapped his fingers, losing his garb instantly. 

Sitting back down, you purposefully spread your legs, showing off everything you had to offer. Loki beckoned you to sit between his legs, and you could feel his erection digging into your back as you laid back against his chest, rolling your head onto his shoulder. He smiled and gently nipped your earlobe. 

“If this wasn’t such a solemn occasion, you know I would fuck you numb here, in front of every eye who dared to do this to us,” he swore, running a gentle hand up and down your chest until he held a breast in his hand, circling your perking nipple with his thumb, making you squirm just enough against Loki’s cock to satisfy him. “How I wish I could feel your hot, slick walls fluttering around my cock one more time…”

“So…we have six hours to waste before we come to a…conclusion,” you said with hesitation.

He smiled softly. “Well, how about I regale you with more tales of Asgard? I suppose it’s appropriate to look back on my life, given where we are.”

You sighed and nodded. “Yes. If I am to die tonight, the last thing I want to hear is your voice, my love. Tell me everything.”

02:07:33

“Are they gonna fuck?” Fury said, fighting back a cringe and a temper tantrum. “Or just keep up this naked talk?”

He was pacing in the observation room, intermittently going back to the cameras, before wincing and looking away again. Maria was taking the odd turn of events in stride, though she clearly disapproved. Steve had to excuse himself hours ago, as soon as your bare ass was exposed to the cameras. 

“I knew they were going to run out the timer,” Maria said. “I told you to give them one hour and not six.” 

“They might have acted on a whim or a panic, and not their sensibilities if we gave them so little time,” Nick reminded her. 

“I have to say, it’s going exactly like we were hoping,” she added. “They’ve clearly bonded and don’t want to pull the trigger on each other. They’ll almost certainly figure it out.”

“I don't know, I still can’t help but not want to trust the guy,” he said. 

Maria shrugged. “Maybe after tonight, you’ll have to.” 

00:04:19

Loki winked at you as you finally parted from each other’s arms, less than five minutes of your lives left unless your plan worked. 

When you both got to standing position, he reached for something in his pocket and spoke loudly for the first time in hours. “I was given this before entering the pod,” he explained. “I think it was their way of telling me to kill you tonight.” He pulled out a silver dagger the length of your forearm, two intertwining snakes at the handle. 

You shook your head, taking in a deep breath and playing your part well. “They were only giving you false hope…they told me to be quick and victory would be guaranteed.” 

“I will never strike against you,” Loki said behind frustrated, gritted teeth. “But I give you permission to be quick and dispatch me.” 

He held the dagger out to you, handle-out. You shook your head. 

“I only see one way out of this,” you said, taking a deep breath. “If…if we time it right…if I strike you at the same moment you strike me, we can die together and spare each other the pain.”

Loki gently ran a finger down your jawline, admiring your eyes. “While I hate the idea of your death, my love, I hate the idea of me leaving you behind to suffer in my absence even more.”

00:01:45

“So…this is it,” you said, your voice trembling in earnest. This was your only hope. You leaned in and whispered below a level the mics in the room could pick up. “Are you certain this will work?”

“They’ve put millions of dollars into this little bet of mine,” Loki responded, “They want a weapon. This turns up empty, they have to answer to the UN.”

He turned up his volume again. “Together or not at all?”

“Yes,” you said, putting every ounce of faith in Loki one more time, as you had been this entire year. Courage, don’t desert me…

00:00:58

“I love you,” Loki said proudly, putting his silver dagger under your chin, against the side of your throat. The sharp end barely touched your skin. 

You placed your hand on his chest. “I love you.”

“And I, you. We fought valiantly,” Loki added. “Valhalla surely awaits us.” 

He kissed you gently on the lips one last time. “On the count of three?” you proposed. 

Loki winked again. “One.”

You inhaled, appreciating the smell of air for the first time in your life. “Two”

“Three!”

“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, we get it, enough with the Romeo and Juliet routine! You got us!” 

Fury’s voice came over the speaker again as the red clock on the wall stopped at 00:00:12. 

Your jaw fell open as Loki immediately dropped the dagger to the floor and pulled you roughly against his body. The tears instantly fell from your face as you returned his hug with the tightest squeeze you could muster in your still-weakened state. 

“Christ, we were just hoping you’d run out the damn clock, but you had to go the extra mile, didn’t you, Laufeyson?”

“Oh, I really wanted to see her naked,” Loki replied. “That part wasn’t just for show. Your discomfort after the way you tricked us was an added bonus.”

“Wait,” you interjected, throwing up a hand, “so there wouldn’t have been any gas if we waited?”

“Oh, there would’ve been some sleeping gas, but we weren’t going to keep you out for long. Appearances, you know.”

You knitted your brows in confusion. “Appearances?” 

“Don’t ask for details. Just…for fuck’s sake, put some clothes on and get out here so we can sign your release paperwork.” 

“Release?” you said hopefully.

“Yeah, I’m a man of my word, kids. Congrats on passing the test. You’re free to go. And never, ever, take your clothes of in front of me again, Loki, or it will be the last goddamn thing you ever do.”

As it turned out, S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn’t looking for a weapon in the end. They were looking to see if Loki was good on his word, and if you were capable of retracting your power and understanding the magnitude of it. All you had to do was sign a contract in front of ten UN witnesses that stated you would never use your powers as an unprovoked attack. You gladly agreed. 

You and Loki rang in the new year with an entirely clean slate and a new start, but you chose to celebrate by collapsing into bed next to one another as the adrenaline of the day’s events wore off, and you processed everything through your dreams in one another’s arms. 

The next morning, you got up before he did, for once. You knew Thor was going to bring Loki’s craft later in the morning, so that he could make good on his word to go off on his own to judge what the universe had to offer him. Or, more to the point, if it was worth surrendering a life with you in New Asgard, surrounded by the mundane. 

You put on a pot of tea and pulled a slab of bacon from the icebox. May as well send him off with a stomach full of reasons why he should come back…

By the time Loki did wake up, you’d made up nearly everything you had, and he faced his biggest challenge yet as soon as walked out of the bedroom: a smorgasbord of bacon, spinach quiche, fruit, porridge, juice, scones, and tea. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as he grinned greedily. 

“If this is meant to convince me to stay, you know that you only need to ask,” he said, coming up behind you and imprisoning you between his solid, strong arms. “It does smell delicious…though I cannot imagine it’s half as toothsome as what you keep between your legs…”

“Loki!” you yelped playfully, wrenching yourself out of his grasp. “I still have the second batch of scones in the oven!”

He smiled warmly as you turned your back to take the last of your breakfast buffet out of the heat. “I may be a god, but even we still only have a single stomach.”

“Oh, these are for your trip, Loki!”

You managed to eat a little, but as soon as both of you were settled with plates, you found yourselves eating in an awkward silence, occasionally breaking the tension with attempts at conversation. 

Loki looked around and sucked in his breath. “So, will you be getting a bigger place?”

“Brunnhilde says my cabin will be ready in a week. It’s next to hers.”

“I bet Katja will miss your company.”

“I’ll visit her every day for tea time.” 

A long pause. 

“So, where do you think you’ll visit first?” you asked.

Loki shrugged. “I don't know,” he mulled. “Maybe I’ll just land on every planet I pass, so I don’t miss anything.” 

“I think that’s a good idea.” 

More silence. 

“Do you want more quiche?” you asked, getting up and snatching Loki’s plate before he could even open his mouth to answer. You felt tears coming as your skin began to go red. You placed the plates on the counter, only to see that Loki’s plate still had a fair amount of food on it. 

“Ohh…” you moaned lowly. “I’m sorry…I didn’t…”

He was at your side instantly, bringing your hand to his lips.

“I will stay, then,” he said conclusively. 

“Absolutely not,” you answered. “I’ll be fine once I get busy recruiting for Brunnhilde’s team.”

“You expect me to leave you like this?” he said softly, wiping a tear from your face.  

Nodding, you pulled away from him. ��I love you, Loki, and this year has been…well, I wouldn’t know exactly how to describe it. But we both know we need this time apart, don't you?” 

Loki looked crestfallen, his shoulders dropping. “I believe so, darling.”

“And,” you continued, “If I see you again, it means you’ve chosen me. Then, I’ll know it’s really okay.” 

Loki snorted. “Okay?”

“Okay to give myself to you,” you replied. “Not just my body, but my whole heart. I couldn’t live my life thinking that I was holding you back from the stars, keeping you down in this mud pile with me.” 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he scooped you off the floor. “Oh, dearest, if this is what is best, then this is how we’ll do it. But the only stars I care about are in your eyes.” 

You didn’t think it was fair to either of you to have sex right before Loki’s departure…but you did, of course. Twice. Both times weren’t nearly as powerfully pleasuring as the times before. You both were so distracted that it took nearly twenty minutes of Loki’s various masterful tongue tricks to bring you to orgasm.

Now, you just had to make it last a year. 

You had every regret speed through your mind as you walked, arm-in-arm, down the same path that a year ago you’d been walking the opposite direction. You carried a basket of scones and wine for his trip in your free hand. 

Upon reaching the first cabins of the village center, the path became lined with Asgardians, bundled up in wool coats and blankets, but looking happy and thankful toward you as you passed. 

Loki leaned over. “Am I being arrested?”

“They look like they’re here to see you off,” you replied.

“No, they look too solemn,” he said, “They’d be laughing and cheering for my departure.:

“Not if they’re grateful to you, and sad to see you go,” you answered, stopping Loki and allowing him to get a good look at the people lining the road. 

Indeed, some held flowers, others looked sad. 

“They know what you’ve done for them,” continued, planting a kiss on his cheek. “I think your reputation among your people has been restored.”

He was awed, as if the mere idea of being accepted among his one people was an impossible dream that was now unfolding before his reality, and he didn’t know what to do with it, until a young boy stepped in your way with a pair of daisies (where he’d procured them in the middle of winter, you had no idea).You recognized him as the kid who’d had Juni the cat, the cat you’d saved.

He smiled silently, looked back at where his mother stood, nodding, and then handed each of you a flower before shyly scampering off again. 

You couldn’t quite describe the look on Loki’s face, other than that he looked like he was re-discovering what happiness was after centuries of denial. Perhaps he was. 

You turned to your lover, taking your flower and sliding it into his hair, behind his ear. 

Loki seemed to get an idea. “One moment, love,” he said quietly. 

He began reciting runes, and a soft green glow began to form as he took his daisy in one hand, and a small lock of your hair from just above your left ear in the other. He plaited them together until it formed a braid hanging just above your shoulder. The green glow remained after Loki pulled his hands away.

“What is this?” you asked, curiously. 

“I’ve just put a projection of myself into this knot,” he said, flicking it affectionately. “After I go, any time you touch it and speak my name, my image will appear before you…to admire, of course.” He winked suggestively.

“Oh, Loki,” you sighed in awe. “I’ll never take it out.”

He pressed his brow to your forehead. “Alas, it will only be a projection. Without me being here to control it, it won’t be able to react to you or speak.” 

Now, at least if you wise up and never come back, I’ll have a memory of you to keep close, you thought, though you chose to keep the sentiment to yourself. It was too sad to address. 

You re-joined hands and finished your procession to the docks, and everyone who was lining the path peeled off and followed behind. Thor and Steve were standing between two crafts: the one Loki was being granted, and the one that would bring the two Avengers home. Thor looked proud of his little brother. Steve looked rather stiff and uncomfortable. 

Thor sauntered right up to Loki and yanked him into a hug. “This is going to be a great new adventure for us!”  Loki was planning on accompanying Thor at least part way out of the galaxy, until he could meet up with those Guardians he was mentioning. After the fact, Loki was going to go off on his own. 

Steve looked at you as the brothers exchanged greetings. “You sure you don’t want to come back to New York with me? I understand if there’s some lingering tension between you and the team, but I’ve been given permission to offer you a spot.” 

Quickly shaking your head, you only answered him with a straight-forward, “Absolutely not.” 

“Well, I’d like to at least offer our aid, perhaps if that cult bothers you again--”

“--they won’t,” said Brunnhilde, appearing behind you and putting a sisterly arm over your shoulder. “We’ve got this place well-covered.” 

You smiled, reminded that even if Loki was departing, you would never be alone again. 

Steve nodded courteously. “Well, if that’s the case, I’d better be heading back.” 

After Steve made his hasty exit into the air, Thor climbed aboard the spacecraft, giving you one last minute with your beloved professor. 

“Let’s just make this quick,” you said, pecking Loki’s cool cheek almost too quickly, wanting to avoid falling apart in front of him, especially seeing as all of this was at your request to begin with. 

“I’d rather make it an eternity,” he answered, tucking a finger under your chin, gracefully pulling you into a slower, more sensual kiss. 

You smiled and gently nudged him away from you. “Don’t get hurt,” you said softly. 

“Don’t burn down Norway,” Loki replied, making his way toward the ramp stepping backward, wanting to keep the image of you fresh in his eye for as long as possible before looking away. 

You sighed and began waving along with the other Asgardians. “I love you.” 

“I love you, my little Reaper,” he answered. A few of the locals who heard him ‘aww’ed. 

“Don’t forget, you have an appointment to keep! December 31st!” you shouted as Thor began revving up the engines.

Loki laughed lightheartedly. “Oh, dearest, I always come back!” He blew you a final kiss as the door began to close. Just before he disappeared from view, he shouted one last thing.

 “And that is your final lesson, my love!”

You finally allowed the tears to fall as the craft hovered for a moment before shooting off into the clouds, your love and savior disappearing into the skies. 

The crowd dispersed, and Brunnhilde smiled smugly. “Thought he’d never go,” she joked somewhat quietly. 

You smiled and looked at your new best friend. “I suppose we have a lot of work to do, and only 365 days to do it?”  Indeed, the sooner you looked down from the heavens and toward what lay before you, the sooner your bittersweet sorrow would ebb. 

Shaking her head, the King winked at you. “Nah, how about a beer first? After all the shit you just went through, you look like you could use two.” 

A short epilogue to follow! Please comment/reblog!

@kats72 @violethaze @cheekyscamp @javagirl328 @yelkmelk @mischief2sarawr @buttercupcookies-blog @lokidokieokie @fictive-sl0th @jaidenhawke @caothicshit @holdmytesseract @anukulee @joyful-enchantress @simplyholl @meowmeow-motherfucker @huntress-artemiss @lokisgoodgirl @loz-3 @mjsthrillernp @alexakeyloveloki @linaax @noideakitten @evelyn-rathmore @lovingchoices14 @itzcomplctd7 @praq123 @the-fantasy-loving-angel @alexakeyloveloki @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @admiralatthebowofnails @vanilla-daydreaming @technicallysassyfox @ozymdias @fall-myriad @sititran @lokisdeadcat @blog-the-lilly @satrkovaza @wolfcyanide

#loki #fanfiction #mcu #mcu loki #loki fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki/reader #loki smut #smut #fanfic #fanfic smut #loki angst #loki fluff #death #love #mcu smut #mcu angst #romance

[mdhwrites]

If Hexside Was Mandated Then Disney Knew TOH's Strengths Better Than Dana

The whole show itself feels much more like plots that can happen at a magical school than it ever does a true adventure show. There are constantly low stakes, very few episodes actually spent exploring the world, and very commonly the obstacles laid out for the characters are inherently non-magical and the magic is only used for flavor.

All of these elements are core to a super school setting (thank you OSP for the term) because, well, you can only make things so dangerous before making them laughable or make the school seem entirely unbelievable. The only times TOH really breaks away from this are commonly in capital P Plot episodes. In S1, there are only 6 episodes that could actually be counted as adventure episodes instead of just being fantasy slice of life/drama like My LIttle Pony or Amphibia was. The focus is never on grandeur but instead just a mundane life thing VERY lightly elevated by its fantasy element.

Of course, that's S1. Low stakes are expected since the plot hasn't really started. It's fine that the head of the Emperor's Coven is doing things like taking a casual walk with her criminal sister or playing mock Grudgby at the same time the school kids are, it's S1! Besides, we have been told by Dana that S1 got meddled with, or at least the first half (neither of the examples I brought up coming from that half) and while we've never had Hexside confirmed as one of those elements, people would argue it doesn't actually count. The vibe changes after S1 after all.

You all know where this is going. Just to demonstrate how completely untrue this is: Luz has, if you REALLY stretch to count Affearances and Eda's Requiem, FOUR plotlines with Eda. Combined, she has about 6, at most, episodes between King and Eda where the focus is on them. Meanwhile, she has SEVEN with Amity. And that's not including the fact that Amity has two episodes where she has plots on her own. If you don't count Falls and Follies, you get 6, which still puts the low stakes, never a part of the plot, love interest who came from the magic school and embodies its elements on par with Luz's 'found family' who are rebelling against Belos.

When the show does ramp up, it's really bad at it. Elsewhere Elsewhen is maybe the most boring time travel episode of anything I've ever seen because it's effectively just a lot talking without any consequence, a twist that's just bad in the grand scheme of things with an unnecessary reveal and the action element is specifically neutralized by not being an actual threat. The finale for S1 has a great action scene but very boring magic we've literally seen before and how Lilith takes out the kids before that is painfully easy and simple. When Luz has to break into the Conformatorium, we don't get to see that. She just... Does it in spite of having magic for maybe a month.

Hollow Mind is a lot of just talking and exposition while people claim there are stakes but the last time people entered a mind makes those stakes a retcon, how they fix it breaks several levels of continuity and the fake out death with Hunter is lame even when just compared with fakeout deaths in general. The combat in S3 is just laughable because it's not actually demonstrably more impressive than in S1 or 2... And even for one of the specials, for a third of its time, the stakes are still ROCK BOTTOM as they deal with a threat they have several times before... For the sake of liberating the school which isn't actually in danger from the threat in question, just mildly manipulated. AND the majority of Season 3, just to hammer this point home, have NOTHING to do with Eda and King, let alone their relationship with Luz.

And why shouldn't this be the case? The show is MUCH more interested in character drama and making social statements than actually telling a story most of the time. It has LOTS of plots that would not feel any different being in Amphibia besides being a kind of boring, toned down episode for it.

All of this is without getting into the logistical nightmare that would have been not having Hexside. Hexside is actually one of the very few efficient elements of TOH. One of the few times TOH doesn't spend an eternity making any progress on something and that actually stays true even into S2. It makes it so a lot of characters can simplify their situation and just move on from introductions than would otherwise be possible.

So yeah, if Hexside was mandated by Disney, A: good on them for doing good work with what was forced upon them since either Hexside episodes, or elements that arose from Hexside, are easily the most popular parts of the show and B: Disney very clearly could tell that Dana was way more equipped to retell Harry Potter's books when it was mostly school drama rather than her ever being able to tell a proper fantasy epic. Not when the last thing I would call TOH, ever, is 'epic'.

It's way too low key for that to have ever been the case.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh hexside

[gunkreads]

WOW (breathe)

WOW (breathe)

WOW (breathe)

Look, I saw it coming from about the halfway point. It was written on the walls and floor, and even little hints on the ceiling sometimes. Fuck, dude, it's written on the cover of the damn book. (spoilers below) GO READ IT. HARD RECOMMEND.

But a perfectly-executed twist has values besides shock to carry it.

The beauty of the twist at the end of The Traitor Baru Cormorant is the steadiness with which Dickinson shifts the narration itself to make you question whether you could have ever believed Baru was really with the rebels. Around the midpoint of the Haraerod summit, Baru's internal monologue--i.e. the narration--begins to betray small hints that she's trying to re-distance herself from the Aurdwynni. From there on, Dickinson makes these

HANG ON I JUST LOOKED HIM UP, HE WAS A WRITER FOR

THE TAKEN FUCKING KING??????

okay we're back

AND FORSAKEN????????????? TAIN HU = SJUR EIDO CONFIRMED??????????

okay back for real.

makes these little "slip-up" hints appear constantly and with increasing frequency throughout the latter half of the story. By the time they're gathered before the battle, Baru is all but admitting to herself that she's trying to end the dukes. Dickinson plays with the fact that his writing is so deliciously tight and refined that any teeny little "misplaced" word sticks out like a gunshot in a church.

I love it, OK? I love when authors know how good they are and play chess games in which their own mastery is the piece that lands the checkmate.

But really, once I had a little chat about this book (thanks @pillowfriendly) and established that it wasn't meant to be a mind-bending political drama, I picked it up and blasted through the latter half. So it was also a teaching book! I now have a better idea of how to assess what a book is trying to be when I start it.

Also, what the hell is up with people comparing this series to The Locked Tomb? What's the similarity there? I'm asking because The Masquerade can be compared much more directly to another series that infected me with a nearly identical flavor of brainworm: Red Rising.

Like... come on, man. I could draw a Venn diagram of plot points between the first Red Rising book and The Traitor and you'd have to break out a microscope to find the places they don't overlap.

Probably ice fucking cold take: Seth Dickinson's first book is about two miles better than Pierce Brown's. Red Rising (the book) takes a HOT sec to get off the ground and is just so incredibly derivative in its structure that I have a hard time putting it up on the pedestal that Dickinson has just effortlessly launched himself atop. I love RR in a deep, unkillable type of way, but the first book isn't... all that. I'm not unpacking that shit right now.

Anyway, yeah... The Traitor Baru Cormorant is an all-timer for sure. Elicited a lot of soft "oh...."s from me, which is about twice as much as I ever ask for.

#the masquerade #the traitor baru cormorant

[spongebob-connoisseur]

Speaking of Ms. Peter Lorre fish, Slippy Lotte. I have some ideas for her:

- Is the local sea weed dealer. Probably grows her own sea weed. Botany is her thing after all <3

Probably gives Slappy cat nip tho. She knows his tastes very well.

- I REALLY want her to be friends with Squidabeth. They'd be besties and Slippy would often stop by The Night Patty restaurant to get a night patty but also to see her pal Squidabeth. If it's a slow work day then they'd chat. They get along very well and she finds Slippy a very cute silly little thing. I can also see them hanging out gal pals style whilst also getting high as a kite. Squidabeth really gets her into the night life of Bikini Bottom <3

Why does all of Slippy's friends work for Nosferatu? Idk but she might consider sliding over her application some time.

- probably owns that pet shop. I feel like she's very much an animal person. Probably has a bunch of snails at home. A crazy snail lady I'd you will. But also a massive sea horse girl. Slappy comes to her for advice on how to better care for his bat.

- Has a kill count from "accidental" drownings. Got someone you don't like? Set up Slippy to give them swimming lessons! :D

- probably has never brushed her hair. If she did ever try then she probably tried to brush it with the back of the hair brush. Or used the handle for detangling.

- she'd hammer holes into her walls as a way of redocorating. Leonard thinks it's brilliant and asks her to do the same to his home <3

She probably collects random knick knacks and stuff. Anything old and strange. Haunted dolls, clown plushies, whatever. Sometimes old trashed toys. She fixes them up to keep. She likes little chachkies. I also feel like she steals road signs to put them up in her home. "Oh free sign! That'll look great in my bedroom!". No one in Bikini Bottom knows who keeps stealing the "road work ahead" signs.

- her and Vincent Price fish Leonard Gillies. I said they'd be friends before but I can see Leonard having a crush on Slippy. "She looks like his friend!" Yeah but bold of you to assume any of them would be smart enough to realize. I think only Nosferatu notices it and finds the drama between the 3 of them funny. Its his favorite soap opera.

I think Leonard has a massive bias towards her. Slappy doing something weird - somewhat horrified but accepts it. Is polite about it and tries his best to be open minded about it.

Slippy does something weird- ✨💞💖 Loves it with his WHOLE HEART✨✨✨ will literally die from it.

This is the face he dreams of when he sleeps at night.

- Slippy thinks Leonard is a very nice friend <3 she likes him a lot. Leonard thinks of himself as that depressed 19th century poet type and he's just writhing with his feelings. He adores her but also doesn't want to betray his dearest friend Laszlo. So he's stuck in this state of suffering while eating ice cream and being comforted by his 6 snails when he's alone but also losing his shit from adoration when she does anything weird. Don't mind Leonard. He thinks he can telepathically let her know what he feels through longing gazes. In other words, he's dumb. They all are. Just a different flavor each. Slippy and Slappy love and value him a lot as a friend and neither suspects a thing of him.

- that being said, Slippy and Leonard hang out often. He likes taking her to events. She always manages to mess up at events and cause chaos. Which is also something Slappy does. But in Leonard's case he LOVES IT so much he might die from it. He probably did die once or twice from it. Don't worry she revived him. Slappy taught her some necromancy.

- probably does enjoy bug eating with Slappy. She doesn't need to. She isn't undead like her bf but sh sees he likes it very much and wants to try herself. They have dates enjoying fancy maggot cheeses and beetlejuice wines. It's the height of luxury for them. She gifted him chocolate covered beetles before.

- I know most folks liken Slappy being into arson but that feels more like a Slippy thing. She plays with matches. She burnt an opera house down when Leonard brought her along. She finds fire quite entertaining. Her home is covered with candles. Its very much a fire hazard.

- Slippy's neighbors are a vampire couple. The ladies often ask Slippy to run errands for them. They claim they have a medical condition where they're allergic to the sun or that they're allergic to crowds or whatever. So Slippy helps them out. They need sugar? She gets them sugar! They need some evil magical amulet? She gets them said amulet! They need a new blood from the local blood drive? She gets it for them! She never suspects a thing <3 she just thinks they're a very cute and kind couple and so she's always happy to help! She probably house sat for them. Might have came across their room where they do ritual sacrifices. She thinks the room is so pretty and she applaudes them for their tastes in interior design :) she admires them so much and she has immense respect for them.

- probably is the one teaching Slappy about the modern world. I like to imagine Slappy has been alive for a loong time but is often kept up in the castle so he isn't exactly familiar with technology. She helps him and teaches him. She teaches him to drive (he can never learn) she drives him whenever he needs it. She teaches him how to use a computer and how to play video games. He never really ""gets it"" but slippy's alright with it. She's a pretty ideal teacher for everything except swimming.

- Fellow clown enjoyer. She ADORES clowns and finds them so cute <3 she's always asking Slappy if she could adopt one! Leonard would probably get her some. Slippy sets them free once she realizes they're sentient beings. I think after that, Leonard would opt to paint pictures of clowns for her which decorated all over her house.

- Slippy's car is a clown car (that she stole). Its pretty nice. She decorated the inside with snail themed things. Imagine her driving Leonard and Slappy to the opera house in this cat themed clown car.

- fellow enjoyer of 80s bubblegum pop. Idk why but I see it.

- somewhat of a kleptomaniac. I dont think she'd steal things from stores. That's too easy. She'd see random things left outside. Road signs or traffic cones or fences. That's her thing. She'd be like "oh why is this left out here? Its still pretty good.. Oh well I'll give it a nice home". I feel like she almost gets in trouble for it but Leonard always ends up paying off the owners so she doesn't get in trouble. This is also how she ended up with so many pets.

I think once Leonard was a little sad about a painting he couldn't buy (too pricy) so Slippy looked at it like "oh but its here. Nobody here seems to own it" she ended up stealing it and giving it to him. Unless said unattended object has a CLEAR and distinct price tag, she just assumes its trash that nobody wants so she takes it. Why waste perfectly good items.

- collector of rocks! She collects all sorts of rocks. And plenty of things that are very much not rocks. Pieces of bones, teeth, paper clips, shards of glass, broken pieces of porcelain, expensive jewels, evil enchanted amulet. She thinks they're all rocks and she loves them very much. She very much has a crow thing to her so she ends up collecting anything shiny. She could be a master jewel thief if she really wanted to. Sometimes Slappy gifts her rocks. They're actually pieces of bone. Sometimes Leonard gifts her rocks but they're expensive jewels. In her heart rocks are rocks <3 they're all special to her <3

- fellow lip gloss eater. She just does it. Slappy also does it too. They taste test lip glosses together. Fun time. Probably got kicked out of Lady Upturn's department store for eating the lipsticks.

- can give fortunes but for very mundane things. She has dreams of the future but nothing of interest. Your fortune is like "oh you'll burn a krabby patty on Tuesday the 15th" and it ends up happening. Nothing special but somehow she does it. She doesn't think she's telling the future. She thinks they're just dreams but she likes telling the people who shows up in her dreams about them. Its only after the fortune happens when said people realize she was actually telling their fortune and they try to ask her about it. She doesn't get what they're talking about. She'd like "oh that's nice :)".

Once in a while she might see someone walk into her pet shop and she casually says "you're going to die :)" and they won't understand until it's too late. She doesn't undedstand it at all herself since she said it on autopilot but her bf is standing outside looking for food for his master.

- can't cook. You will be poisoned. Unless you want to dine on toxic sludge, then never accept her cooking. Slappy doesn't mind since he's already undead and a garbage disposal. Leonard is immune to poison on the sheer power of LOVE (he suffers later in the bathroom, small sacrifice for her tho)

- eats food in illegal ways. Eats kitkat sideways and all that sort of horror. Eats bubblegum too. Doesn't help that Laszlo encourages and copies her. They're a trouble making duo.

- probably has eaten grass before. She uses it like herbs. Out of cilantro? When grass grows for free outside? Smh

- probably forages. Doesn't really care about which plants are safe and unsafe to eat. Plants are plants to her so uhh prepare to be tripping on mushrooms later. I think that's part of the appeal of her cooking.

- grows her own food too. She's good at botany and taking care of plants. The problem is, she's not growing any vegetable you've heard of (if they are vegetable in the first place). The plants will likely try to eat you first tbh.

- Has a pensiont for smelly weird and exotic plants. She thinks they're neat. Leonard gets her more rare species of plants. Her plants really like chum for some reason.

- probably has a book club. Her book selection is incomprehensible. She's probably the only person who understands Ulysses but she won't answer your questions about the book.

- her clothes are second hand. She ""thrifts"" them. You probably know how she actually acquired them.

- all this makes her sound frugal. Nah she splurges on her pets. She just finds random objects she collect to be more interesting than stuff she finds in stores. But her pets live like kings 👌

- I feel like she does know about Slappy's thing for nosferatu. I don't she actually knows Nosferatu is a vampire. She assumes him to have special needs similar to her vampire neighbors. Sun allergies and all that. Still she gives Laszlo lessons on how to woo Nosferatu and how to impress him. Somehow I think she's fine with laszlo not being so affectionate with her. Its just his thing and she respects that. Or she views it as him playing hard to get. Or both.

Tbh I don't think she 100% gets that he ditched her in Slappy Daze. Poor thing.

- enjoyer of slapstick and black and white romance movies. Best of both worlds when combined. Of course slappy is probably an enjoys the same movies so they enjoy going to the movies together a lot <3 I think they like it too much and they start quoting the movies together and being the most annoying couple alive <3

They drag Leonard along which is just TORTURE for him. Particularly the romance movies. Moments that feel like a knife in the stomach for him. But he enjoys it. Probably bawls his eyes out and slippy and slappy are like "oh he must really like it :) " very clueless about what's actually going on.

- slippy doesn't pick up on social cues at all. Can't read the room at all. Says things she shouldn't, touches priceless objects she shouldn't. Unless given very clear and straight forward instructions sometimes she doesn't get it much. That's alright because her friends are either already like that or are accepting of that traits and politely helps her out when she needs it.

- can scale buildings like a lizard. No particular reason for this one.

- slappy probably comes to her for blood for his master. As in Slippy can easily steal blood from the blood from the blood bank. She doesn't think of it as stealing. Shes just borrowing. Slippy and Leonard are the only people Laszlo wouldn't sell out to Nosferatu. But he avoids them making such an acquaintance with Nosferatu just to be safe. Nosferatu does already know of them and find the trio humorous. He spares them because they're funny to watch.

- is banned from several establishments. She just is.

- slippy gives Slappy shrooms so he can meet his sleep paralysis demon daughters again <3 she joins in too! :D

I think that's all I have for now. Feel free to come up with more :D

#the spongebob connoisseur #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #sb #spongebon squarepants #spongebob meme #Slippy lotte #Slippy #slappy laszlo #slappy spongebob #laszlo spongebob #Leonard gillies #Vincent price fish #Peter lorre fishes

[abuddyforeveryseason]

This is the Buddy for November 6th. Not the handsomest of guys, I'm sure. A bit of a big forehead.

Speaking of big foreheads, I was listening to a podcast with James Urbaniak, and he mentioned he auditioned for Rainn Wilson's role in The Office. I don't know if that's true or not, since that 'cast was more of a series of fictional stories using his real name. But it'd be interesting to see Urbaniak in The Office.

Had that happened, though, I probably wouldn't have been a fan of his, since I'm all about The Venture Bros, it's the best show ever, I love it.

It's funny, but, although I'm a proper nerd who loves comics, manga, cartoons and movies, I never really enjoyed one of those long running narratives with an epic flavor that seem to be what a lot of works are aiming for. Venture Bros itself is probably the closest - a cartoon about a long war between two factions, involving multiple generations of characters, with character development taking the spotlight, and a central mystery personally related to the main characters that ties into the bigger conflict.

But unfortunately, the show was unceremoniously cancelled before a proper conclusion - even before it was officially cancelled, it felt like it was half-cancelled already since it took so long for seasons to come out. A movie came out after a while but it wrapped everything up in a rush, it wasn't an epic ending in and of itself.

And that's one of the things about epic stories - endings are always a bit off. If we're talking big worldbuild-y sagas, the biggest example of it is Game of Thrones, which seemingly cornered the market on disappointing endings. The Song of Ice and Fire book series seems to have gone on a different direction and just not end. Even if those planned last two (or three) books are ever published, everyone's already lost interest after the show did its own, clumsy version of the story.

The ending of Harry Potter, too, wasn't my favorite. To be honest, I think I grew out of it during the period between the publication of the last three books or so (and their plots all mix together in my mind). I never even finished the last few chapters of the Deathly Hallows one. And now there's that crappy prequel saga that's movie-only, seems like the story's completely jumped the shark.

A lot of shows try and go for the "myth arc" concept where the entire show is built up around one story with a main mystery and a supposed grand apotheosis in the finale. And it never works, does it? Lost kind of started the trend, and that show went nowhere. Purgatory stuff and whatnot, right? Those last few episodes of Steven Universe somehow pinned down all the bad stuff about the show, and made it obvious to everyone. Breaking Bad actually managed to do it, but that's not really a nerd show - it's a crime drama, and, yeah, a really good one, but it had a smaller scope. And even that has the prequel that doesn't capture lightning in a bottle like the original did.

Comics are a horse of a different color. There are great runs where one creator has a character in his hands to really explore an epic story, but often the story doesn't reach the end (I'm looking at you, Jack Kirby), or reaches the end but has to continue going with different, often less-talented creatives at the helm. Creator-owned comics are supposed to escape that fate, but they often have trouble being profitable enough to earn an ending, or end up being stretched thin because they're too profitable. Of course creator-owned work is usually a bit too alternative to fit the mold. One sad example is Astro City, which at first felt like a perfect superhero epic, but was abandoned due to writer Kurt Busiek's serious health problems. Poor guy.

The Marvel movies did a good job at it with the Thanos-era movies, but they had to keep going after the heroes beat the god of evil (after all, nobody burns down a money factory), and it all felt a bit like a long "cleaning up the rubble" session without Thanos, Iron Man and Captain America around. Even though some of my favorite movies in that series come after Infinity War, they're the best, mostly despite being part of the MCU, not because of it.

Which is probably why I often prefer shorter stories, as opposed to sprawling sagas. My favorite manga are usually 10 books long at most. Comic book limited series like Watchmen are also pretty memorable. It's also a lot easier to read something that's available as a single book, instead of five hundred issues scattered around different comic book shops - although that problem's not too relevant nowadays thanks to the internet and whatnot.

That's often an issue with entertainment. You usually keep going while the story's good, and once the quality drops, you end it. Like they say in the Dark Knight movies, you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. And, funny, the Dark Knight, along Venture Brothers, is one of the few works that managed to escape that curse. It's not my favorite, but it's definitely not a disappointment. And there are some oddball stories that managed to feel epic and strike gold despite their long runs. The Invincible comic, for instance, and one of my favorite underdog webcomics, Doctor McNinja.

Figuring out good endings is one of the hardest stuff about writing, in my opinion.

#ab4es #drawing #forehead #comics #TV #manga #movies #endings #the venture bros #Venture Bros #dr mcninja #The Dark Knight #Marvel #MCU #Watchmen #Astro City #Breaking Bad #Lost #Steven Universe #Invincible #Harry Potter #game of thrones #a song of ice and fire #writing

[slapplebees]

This Is Me Throwing Up: A Shitfucked Dissertation on Matt Demon, UPS, and the Detrimental Effects of What I Now Call Canon

I am on Mr. Bones' Wild Ride, the Isekai of a Lifetime, and I am pulling over on the side and spilling my guts, which is to say I am writing this for you to understand what I am going through.

As per your dissertation, your gunshot through my chest if you will, I gathered the following big boy major points:

1) Matt's previous lives haunt the narrative. It's the death symbol, it's the propaganda machine, it's the Came Back Wrong, it's causing the kitsunes (Louis included) a lot of distress.

2) Matt is a people pleaser and has to act totally normal to lessen their worry. He lives a lie, acting for his LIFE and feeling trapped in it.

3) Dan is his salvation. It is through Dan that Matt is able to find joy in acting and be himself. He also finds a familiarity in Dan, for he sees that Dan is running away from something and finding solace in his art. Matt falls in love.

Sick wonderful awesome, tasty spicy finger-lickin, I wanted to put screenshots but the bitches got blurry. We trudge forward.

Ok, so Matt is a big major liar because of the people around him. Totally their fault, and his personality is a product of him fitting his personhood to their wants. The only exception to this rule is Dan, but what happens when he stops being that exception?

Here's where "post-Chapter 3 isn't real" comes in. Or rather, you can split the narrative or the timeline in two and have the dividing line be the ending of Chapter 3. You can divide the narrative between what I now call Canon and whatever comes after, the forever epilogue, the fix-it, the Rest of It.

Pre-Ch3 and the most relevant things that lead up to it (TGD / Mafia / the 1980s???) are the Canon that gets wrapped up kind of neatly in Chapter 3. Mafia Matt's death, Olive Garden (minus Olive)'s final confrontation/s (Ch2, Basement) with that monster that killed Olive, Dan's first comeuppance, the multiple Earth Gang therapy arcs, the aftermath and resolution of the Bunny Boys' drama all happen on or before Ch3.

Post-Ch3 has many arcs that are important (and fun and really good don't get me wrong) but are noticeably a different flavor to pre-Ch3. Matt's final life, the Beach Arc, Dan's Death Loop, Atty. Louis and the Reformed Tamers arc, The ENTIRE Revolution, UPS, Downs Canon and Candy Crush Canon, and of course ARMAGEDDON.

(Also, not in the list above is the assumed eternal Slice of Life story of the Earth Gang because they are allowed to exist and have basically no drama post-Ch3.

I have nowhere else to put it but here, BUT I think their storyline stops being written and has a whole different vibe, because the "story" is just the Rest of their Lives. Someday it will end, the humans will age, and I will NEVER be able to confront that. So their story does not exist and I am not looking at it, nosiree-)

So, these arcs post-Ch3 are the extension of Ch3. I think we MAYBE told a perfectly good story throughout Canon, like if we made a show, we could end it at Ch3 and have a solid fuckin show.

Post-Ch3 is like the really well-written fix-it fan fiction that follows (/pos!!!). Except it's by us, and it's everything we could ever want, and it's why we can end the world and lose our minds and feel happy and have all the pairings and KILL people and REALLY let lose.

A lot of post-Ch3 is like a whole new thing on its own I feel, and a lot of it isn't set in stone and it has no timestamps on the timeline and has a brainrot headcanonny feel because that's exactly what it is. I say this out of love: post-Ch3 is us looking at Canon, the thing we've made and we start thinking long and hard about the implications.

Back to Matt.

The Matt you talked about in your fucked up little dissertation is a product of the Canon. The Matt who is haunted by himself, the Matt who plays a character as an escape, the Matt who was born for the stage and lives for the stage and loved Dan because of the freedom Dan allowed Matt, which seemed to stem from Dan's understanding of what Matt was going through.

Dan was a breath of fresh air to Matt because he never brought up Matt's past lives.

In the Renaissance, Dan is first confronted with Matt's amnesia and the idea that he isn't who he was in his past life, and Dan inadvertedly does the kindest thing he possibly could. Dan is distraught for the duration of their initial bar conversation, before he decides to move on and write a new play. He buries the OSHA script (for a whole host of reasons), then shifts his focus to protecting the Matt he has in front of him, rather than digging up the previous Matt from his fucking grave and making him do a little dance.

As a result, it's their longest life together. For a minute there, it's the happiest either of them ever are. And then it ends, Matt dies, and what does Dan IMMEDIATELY follow it up with?

The Mafia Era. Without knowing it, Dan not only brings up Matt's past life, but the piece of shit does a whole revenge plot about it.

It's really funny whenever we talk about how Mafia Dan alludes to the Renaissance as if they both remember it, but with the knowledge that Matt believed Dan was special and loved him and felt safe with him because He Never Did That, it's suddenly a change in the script that chills Matt to his fucking bones.

Imagine their initial meeting. It starts off small with Dan chatting up Matt in the bar, courting him with this fucked up drug plan, telling him to quit his job and join his emo band (drug empire). Dan acts like they knew each other, something Matt is familiar with considering everyone in his theatre group did the same, recognizing him for his past self's Oscar wins, acting like they know him, and making him retreat to his stupid acting defense mechanism he learned in kitsune college. However, Dan of all people doing this to him feels wrong, but Matt has this inkling that it will pass. That he can trust Dan to drop it eventually and treat him like a normal person.

Imagine the safety of the kitchen. When Dan (as expected) forgot about his anger for a moment because Matt was in his home again, cooking with him again, as if the world outside Dan's home did not exist. It was the escapism of the stage, but there was no audience. Dan and Matt were free, yet they were not performing for anyone. Matt was content and happy, safe enough to tell Dan he wants this (the kitchen, the co-existence, the intimacy) for them forever.

Imagine the switch-up, when Dan remembers his fucking revenge plot. Imagine Matt wondering what the hell he did wrong, throwing anything at all at Dan to be allowed into his home again, and Dan outright refusing to because he's fucking petty. It's acting all over again, it's Matt trying to do what he does best, attune his personality to whatever the other person wants to make them feel comfortable with him. Acting to make them less disgusted with him. Acting in a way that makes them stop Looking At Him Like That. But Dan doesn't budge. He responds to nothing that Matt does and Matt has no idea what to do or how to act. He's acting because it's all he knows how to do, but this time he doesn't have the script.

Dan used to give him that script. Write Matt his plays and give him a role he can breathe in. Do that thing that Matt loves him for. But Dan's left that life behind. He is still running away from something (running from his brother, the Renaissance; awfully running from, Matt ), and Matt can SEE that, but he's doing it with THIS. This isn't art. It's malice, it's violence, it's becoming that bloodstreaked little thing Dan disappears into when he plays Mafia Dan, in which his words aren't his own and his steps are clumsier than they should be, unrehearsed and unfamiliar. Because he's fucking lying.

This isn't the honest, true Dan who Matt fell in love with in a life (in lives) he does not remember. And yet he is. He is the same Dan, in the way he walks in front of Matt during their raids of rival groups in the black market. He's the same Dan in the way he protects Matt by instinct alone. Matt can see the way Dan does not hesitate, his body and mind agreeing on something for once, suddenly gaining a practiced precision they did not previously have. But so what? It's wrong. Dan's tapping into old habits, the habit of keeping Matt alive, something he learned in the Renaissance, their happiest days, only to crush him. Only for the satisfaction of pushing Matt to the brink, of killing Matt himself.

Can you imagine the betrayal? Imagine the immense confusion Matt felt holding Dan's body as it went cold, as he muttered so much fucking NOTHING into Matt's ear, talking about things Matt doesn't remember. At this point, I don't know what he says. Neither does Matt. Dan could've said, "I've won," "I'm sorry," "where did you go?" and Matt wouldn't understand a single word. Because what the fuck is he talking about? Who the fuck is he talking to? Because it isn't Matt. It isn't anyone Matt identifies with, it isn't a person Matt knows how to be. And it fucking sucks, it fucking hurts how Matt can feel Dan trying to stay awake to get it all out, talk honestly for once in this life, and Matt can't respond. Dan kept him in the dark, in the same way everyone else made him feel, and Matt has no idea who he's holding anymore because he's become just like everyone else. And yet, he doesn't know why it hurts to lose Dan, and he doesn't know why he's grieving this fucking asshole.

But his soul knows.

His cursed kitsune soul still Loves Dan, still Loves the fading thing in his arms, and his soul knows that the person Matt Loved (the person he is anchored to) is dead.

You know when Louis went through something similar? When Louis realized the Matt he Loved is dead? And he broke up with him and broke his bond to him and fell ill for like a week?

Is that what Matt went through? When he lost the safety he found in Mafia Dan, maybe he felt something break in him and he felt himself get sick. Except Matt was a drug lord, so he had access to his awful fucking Demon drugs. So, he tried to self-medicate, and it made everything worse, and a long time passed,

enough time that Dan made his way back to him, carefree as ever, mostly healed, sure of himself again,

and Dan looked at Matt across the basement, with this blank expression as if he's burying something, weighing his options,

and then, Dan smiled at him like they didn't know each other.

And Matt feels a tug in his heart because it felt right. Dan felt familiar again. Matt could feel the anchor between their souls mending.

But Matt didn't fucking trust him anymore.

Matt kills Dan in the basement to silence his own stupid heart. He refuses to hope that they can be together again. He refuses to give Dan the chance to one day hurt him in a way Matt can't describe, to hurt him in a manner only possible if he knew Matt in a previous life and used that knowledge maliciously.

Because holy fuck it's terrifying when other people know something you don't. Matt feels terrified that the kitsunes, Louis, and Dan know him better than he does. It's something Matt has grappled with his entire existence. When he stops broadcasting to the world that he's lost his memories haha, he's pretending that he isn't vulnerable.

Matt has a blind spot, and it's his past life. It's a blind spot anyone can take advantage of. Matt knows anyone could lie to him; they could say they knew Matt in his old life and do whatever they want to hurt him and Matt fears this is the case for everyone he encounters.

Louis knew Matt for all his past lives, down to his very first one. If Louis was a little less kind, he could tell Matt they were friends in his old life, and that he saved Matt's life. He could have trapped Matt to Love him by making Matt feel indebted to him. It's not like Matt could refute his claims. And yet, Louis was kind, and did not pressure Matt into anything he didn't want.

If Jack and Benjy were a little less kind, they could arrest Matt on the spot the second he arrives at the beach. They could lie and pin any crime they wanted on him because they know he's the Tamer Boss, they could have the one of the greatest criminals in Hell's history in custody and he (Matt) would have no idea how to defend himself in court. But they were kind, and called a lawyer to consult with them on his case. Hell, they didn't even arrest Dan.

Even so, Matt can't simply believe in the kindness of the people around him. Not everyone is going to be like Louis or Jack or Benjy, and it really stings that Dan was the one who proved that.

From Matt's perspective, Dan was his greatest fear. Dan clearly knew him from a previous life, with the way Dan treated Matt and spoke to him in the bar. While everyone else who knew Renaissance Matt (his theatre company, the kitsunes) were all just a bit annoying (asking him for an autograph, asking him what happened between him and his previous director, looking at him sadly from across the room or like you said chatting him up as if he didn't have amnesia), Dan was Out To Get Him. Matt just barely got out of that unscathed, but when he sees Dan in the basement, acting like everything he did in the Mafia Era didn't happen? It raises alarm bells in Matt's head.

This is exactly what Matt wanted from Dan. Maybe Dan knows this. Maybe he's trying to earn Matt's trust. Maybe he's manipulating Matt. Maybe this is what he wants. Maybe he's going to do it all over again.

I have to fucking kill him.

And Matt dies.

And he forgets.

(And here is where I initially began my dissertation,)

And when he returns, the story is a little different.

It's post-Ch3 or post-Canon, and the world that molded Matt into the recluse theatre kid he used to be, has been slowly changing since the early 70s. The kitsunes in the college ask Matt about Louis, Dan has long since retired from producing plays, Louis is a lawyer and boss of the Demon Tamers, and revolution is brewing.

And Matt remakes himself.

Because when Matt respawns in the college, the kitsunes ask him about Louis instead of giving him an unhealthy dose of Came Back Wrong Syndrome.

Because when Matt meets Dan, who has long since retired from producing plays, he's avoiding Matt's gaze and walking into the sea. (And, Matt feels a tug in his heart when he sees that orange piece of shit go.)

Because when Matt meets Louis, who has loved Matt for basically all of his life, he's a lawyer and the guy Matt was looking for, and they date and He breaks things off with Matt.

Because when Matt meets Jack and Benjy, who have been trying to catch Matt since Ch3, they don't fucking arrest Matt on the urging of Atty. Louis, thereby releasing Matt from the legal repercussions of his previous life.

Because Mafia Matt still haunts the narrative. Dan is scared to death by him, Louis loved him, Jack Daniels wanted to catch him, but one by one each of those people let that go.

Matt is free, and as the single lucky person who does not remember the dreadful Canon, he is able to simply exist.

Yes, everything comes back to him eventually. At the end of the end of the world, he remembers everything Dan did to him, all the time he spent lying, all the millennia Louis was at his side.

But in that moment, by virtue of remembering everything, he knows himself fully, and his fear is abated. His blind spot dissolves, and he is able to confront his whole self.

Also, it super helps he has a psych degree at this point, like major plus points, big ups, that thing saves his life and helps him be ready to understand who he is ok bye happy 2024 @schmoft <333333

#isekai 🚚💥💥‼️ #matt demon #neighbor dan #NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN I'M GLAD I FINISHED BUT GOD FUCKING DAMN MY ENERGY IS SAPPED I AM GONE #i dont know how to feel making thsi post was therapy to me but at what cost

[ashilrak]

I'm on an Apollo-as-Lester feel kick at the moment - maybe something in TOA where Percy is with Lester for whatever reason and is telling him it will all work out. You can chose the details.

Apollo doesn't know what's going through his head, but for too long he's told his children to pray for him when they need him. So, he prays.

"Poseidon," he mentally shouts, ducking a hit from whatever flavor of monster they're fighting now. "I want Percy Jackson!"

There are a thousand more things he can say, an explanation, maybe. Maybe thinking to pray for Poseidon's assistance instead of his son's presence. But too often Apollo's mind has been drifting to Percy, so he doesn't know what else he expected from his rather limited brain right now.

Maybe it's Poseidon, maybe it's a miracle, maybe it's the link Grover shares with Percy, but it's only a small eternity of ducking and running and screaming later that Percy Jackson falls from the sky in a performance worthy of well, him at his height.

Meg's making good headway, but Percy clears the field they're in like it's nothing more than a training exercise he's demonstrating for the younger campers.

"Percy!" Grover bleats, running forward. "What are you doing here?"

Apollo almost winces at how confused Percy looks.

"I don't know," Percy says. "My dad showed up and next thing I know I'm here."

Grover shoots him a suspicious look— maybe he hadn't been just mentally screaming.

"Doesn't matter!" Grover says, turning his full attention back to Percy. "We're just happy you're here."

Apollo does his best to wipe the sweat off his brow in what he hopes is a sexy manner when Percy looks his way. Judging by Meg's snort, it doesn't work.

He doesn't even have enough time to find a mirror and straighten himself out before Percy is sitting down next to him.

"So," Percy says. "How's it going? Missing godhood yet?"

"You could say that." And to Apollo's shame, his voice cracks.

Percy reaches over to squeeze his shoulder and Apollo wants to combust. That hand should not be able to cover his entire shoulder, it should instead be clawing its way down his back and—

"It happens," Percy says. "Quests are hard. You're doing great. You don't even want to hear about some of the messes I've gotten into."

"I'd love to," Apollo says. "I mean, I was watching almost the whole time, but, I'd love to hear your perspective. Make my muses proud, I expect an epic."

Instead of launching into his tale, Percy glares. "You did not watch all my quests."

"Oh yes I did," Apollo confirms. "Sometimes, I even watched in person."

Percy snorts. "Alright," he says. "Whatever."

"I did!" Apollo wants to lean over and grab Percy's face. He can't live with this sort of denial, he needs Percy to know how long he's been catching Apollo's attention. And maybe he wants to kiss Percy, but that's a detail for later. "I watched everything, from the St. Louis Arch to the fight with Ares to Calypso—"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Percy cuts him off. "I am much better off not knowing how much of my life has been entertainment for you."

Protests rise up Apollo's throat, but he can't even voice them. If they were watching him right now, Gods, he didn't even want to consider that."

Percy must see it on his face. "Doesn't feel so nice now, does it?"

And styx, he's about to start crying. He can feel his eyes prickle. Apollo didn't know this could be more humiliating, but Lester is not a pretty crier. At least when he looks like him there's grace and drama in the action.

"Oh no," Percy says, panic obvious. "Uh, come here?"

Percy hesitantly wraps an arm around Apollo's shoulders and Apollo shoves his face into Percy's neck and lets the tears fall. If he happens to breath in Percy's sea salt and chocolate smell, that's no one's business but his own.

"I'm sorry," Percy says, hesitantly patting Apollo's back. "Quests suck, you'll do great though. You're killing it."

Apollo nods.

"Gods, I mean," Percy says, hesitantly. "Yeah, I can even stick around, if you'd like."

Apollo pulls his head away and sniffles. "Really?"

Percy winces slightly but sighs, even going so far as to pat the top of Apollo's head. "Yeah, really."

And for the first time since he'd woken up in the dumpster, Apollo feels like something is finally going right.

// percy jackson v-day gift exchange

#Ask #catofadifferentcolor #Perpollo #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #Trials of Apollo #Drabble

[kaypeace21]

"Rebel robin" easterggs

- Robin's friend is a horror movie fan whos fav movie is evil dead (jonathan has a poster of it in his room)

- Robin's parent's car is the " dodge dart" a ref to Dustin's demodog-dart

-robin and her friends make analogies to zombies (like Will- the zombie boy).

- robin faints. And her friend milton says "blink once for yes twice for no". A ref to what Joyce said to Will in s1.

- robin's other friend has a little sister named el-ie who pretends to be a squirrel. A ref to el killing a squirrel in s2. This is also reminiscent of a scene from the st prequel novel ' suspicious minds' where young-kali pretended to be a tiger (the Hawkins school mascot) & a rabbit (Jonathan's hunting story).

- robin reminds me alot of the byers: she is into photography and rock like jonathan and even worked at the movie theatre like jonathan did in the og pilot. They both like David bowie and cook for their families. She also is poor and wears hand-me down clothes from relatives (like Will). She also is into existential philosophers. Which is also similar to jonathan who had a poster of the poet rimbaud in his room.

- robin is almost run over by a car by a bully while riding her bike: similar to Mike, Dustin, and Lucas in s2

- robin says the best accessory for a girl is her middle finger. Cue max giving the middle finger to billy in s2 XD

- robin (before Will dissapears) sees the quarry and gets uncomfortable and thinks of metaphorical monsters

- similar to how billy had baseball references (along with Will). Robin wears a baseball shirt

- her fav flavor of pie is cherry (like alexi and cherry slurpies). She also gets pissed at a guy sipping a cherry flavored drink- similar to hopper in s3 with alexi

- she cuts her hair and she describes it as looking like a lion. El and Will owned lion plushies in s1.

- robin refs Chicago (kali lives there) and NYC (hopper used to live there), and California (where max and billy used to live).

-tammy's fav song is total eclipse of the heart: the song Robin and Steve sang in s3. Tammy would often sing the song in robin and Steve's class.

- they make references to the hellfire club: she describes a time where she dresses like a cross between a nerd and a rebel. And a mom yells at her appearance saying she looks "goddless' . And another of Robin's friend (kate) is told ' what demon is possessing you, kate?" (hinting at the satanic panic). Meanwhile someone describes Mike and his friends as "hellions' as another hint to this. We also see how alot of parents got paranoid and a bit crazy when Will and barb dissappeared- prob foreshadowing the chaos that will happen if more kids dissappear in s4. Along with the satanic panic

-Robin is visiting her friend Kate at her house. Kate wanted to listen to Madonna together. Max and el listened to Madonna at el's.

- Robin's friend (kate) says "I dumped his ass" in reference to her cheating bf. A little nod to the m*leven breakup

- robin (like Will) felt excluded during the summer cause her friends kate and dash (Kate's now ex bf) were always making out . Sound familiar- cough m*leven

- robin annoyed says " makeouts, breakups and declarations of love all in the span of a week". Wow if that ain't a diss to certain pairing we know in s3 XD

- kate (like mike) says to Robin dating the opposite sex is a part of growing up . Which scares Robin (and Will in s3).

- robin has a nightmare of running down the school hallway with short hair (like el in s2 via the upsidedown)

- robin contemplates shaving her head (like el)

- robin says she likes to sometimes dress androgynous . And found a cool suit. Which we saw in s4 bts pics I assume.

- robin watches a music video where there are duplicate indianna joneses (could be a ref to all the billy duplicates in s3?)

- robin says " I stare at the ceiling. The ceiling stares back. I'm stuck and don't know what to do" a ref to the s3 song with robin called "the ceiling is beautiful"

- a character named Sheena reminds me a bit of Will or el . She is very quiet, queercoded, and is often bullied. And she finds mean notes and other things in her locker- placed there by bullies. A bit like how Will found the zombieboy note in his locker. But sheena can be another name for Jane so ...maybe foreshadowing of el/jane being bullied in highscool?

- when robin hears a hom*phobic comment on tv- she describes the anxiety like a ' thundercloud in a big open sky' and a "chill". Which reminds me of the mf being associated with clouds, thunder, and lightning. And the mf liking it cold.

- robin constantly describes the monster or shadow in her life- whether it be her talking about conformity or the problems of consumerism while she is poor (themes of s3).

- robin before realizing she was gay/crushing on tammy just says " I don't get crushes' which reminds me a bit of Will saying " I'm not going to fall in love" (as the lyrics are " love thats new to you, you open up the door')

-robin on her bike hears something (demogorgan) and runs back to her house , locks the door, and calls her friend- and the phone gets electrocuted. The next day Will is said to be missing. (Another Will paralllel).

- i was right about robin being in theatre. So we most likely will see robin in theatre in s4 (she also auditioned with a friend in the book). So for s4 my guess is she may be in the drama club with dustin- cause in s1 he had a drama shirt

- one of her friends is named milton. Since the documentary 'paradise lost' was on the s4 movie list. Its prob a ref to John milton who wrote the fictional 'paradise lost'. The character Sheena may be a ref to the 80s film/movies *where sheena (jane) was psychic

-Robin's gal pal (kate) and Robin eat m&ms and candies together. Kate jokes m&ms and candy bars are 'foods of the gods'. El ate m&ms in s3. They joke how talking about plural gods (instead of 1) would get them in trouble. In case you are unaware- kali (is the name of a Hindu goddess) and el (is the name of a cannanite god) .

-Robin also mentions hopper's car smells like eggos.

- robin tries running away (like el in s2, max in her novel, and jonathan also wrongfully assumed Will ranaway in s1 too).

-robin tries to get a job at Joyce's, than Bob's, and later gets a job where jonathan used to work

-bob newby describes the byers family as his "home" . Similar to how El describes the Hawkins gang as "home".

- robin says she was friends with barb before nancy. Suspiciously right after she says this- barb grabs Robin's hallpass that says ' glitch in the time space continuim. " the teacher who wrote this called robin a "glitch". Which makes me wonder if my did theory is right- but ...that certain powers at be may also alter memories or things so people assume said people have always been around.Mentioning it cause it seemed suspicious.

-not an eastegg but robin can't believe how nice Bob is. And Bob says the byers filled a hole in his life 😭 . She also felt an instant connection with Will and saw alot of herself in him.And asked if Joyce ever thought of moving like everyone suggested . One of the reasons Robin didn't like steve was because Steve never mentioned how Jonathan took innapropriate photos of Nancy. So everyone at school just knew jonathan as the quiet kid who takes pictures. So to everyone it just seemed like- wow you're bullying the quiet kid who's brother is missing and take away the one thing still left in his life that makes him happy. Which is why everyone assumes jonathan beat up steve later. Interesting to know how general Hawkins (not in the loop) viewed things

- the book referenced alot of previously mentioned movies on the s4 list or from prior duffer interviews...along with a few NEW movies ,books, plays, singers, and songs that I have to analyze for another day ...

#robin buckley #rebel robin #jonathan byers #steve harrington #will byers #el hopper #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #barbara holland #max mayfield #jim hopper

[brawltogethernow]

So, I don't think I've ever asked you this... what IS the whole point of the Spider-Sense? It really seems like something that only exists for writers to ignore or work around when they want to inject Legit Tension into a story.

I’ve thought about this power so much, but never with an eye to defend its right to exist, so I needed to think about this. The results could be more concise.

Ironically, given the question, I have to say its main purpose is to ramp up tension. But it’s also a highly variable multitool that a skilled creative team can use for...pretty much anything. It does everything the writer wants it to, while for its wielder always falls just short of doing enough.

I went looking through my photos for a really generic, classic-looking example to use as an image to head this topic, but then I ran into the time Peter absolutely did not reimburse this man for his stolen McDonald’s, so have that instead.

A Scare Chord, But You Can Draw It

That one post that says the spider-sense is just super-anxiety isn’t, like, wrong. It’s a very anxious, dramatic storytelling tool originally designed for a very anxious, dramatic protagonist. I find it speaks to the overall tone of the franchise that some characters are functionally psychics, but with a psychic ability that only points out problems.

Spidey sense pinging? There’s danger, be stressed! Broken? Now the lead won’t even KNOW when there’s a problem, scary! Single character is immune to it? That’s an invisible knife in the dark oh my god what the fuck what the fU--

Like its counterpart in garden variety anxiety, the only time the spider-sense reduces tension is in the middle of a crisis. But in the wish fulfillmenty way that you want in an adventure story to justify exaggerated action sequences, the same way enhanced strength or durability does. Also like those, it would theoretically make someone much safer to have it, but it exists in the story to let your character navigate into and weather more dangerous situations.

For its basic role in a story, a danger sense is a snappy way to rile up both the reader and the protagonist that doesn’t offer much information beyond that it’s time to sit smart because shit is about to go down.

Spidey comic canon is all over the board in quality and genre, and it started needing to subvert its formulas before the creators got a handle on what those formulas even were, and basically no one has read anything approaching most of it at this point, so for consistent examples of a really bare bones use of this power in storytelling, I’d point to the property that’s done the best job yet of boiling down the mechanics of Spider-Man to their absolute most basic essentials for adaptation to a compelling monster of the week TV series.

Or as you probably know it, Danny Phantom. DON’T BOO, I’M RIGHT.

DP is Spider-Man with about 2/3 of the serial numbers filed off and no death (ironically), and Danny’s ghost sense is the most proof in the formula example of what the spidey sense is for: It’s a big sign held up for the viewer that says, “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” Effectively a visual scare chord. It’s about That Drama. And it works, which won it a consistent place in the show’s formula. We’re talking several times an episode here.

So why does it work?

It’s a little counterintuitive, but it’s strong storytelling to tell your audience that something bad is going to happen before it does. A vague, punchy spoiler transforms the ignorant calm before a conflict into a tense moment of anticipation. ...And it makes sure people don’t fail to absorb the beginning of said conflict because they weren’t prepared to shift gears when the scene did. Shock is a valuable tool, too, but treating it like a staple is how you burn out your audience instead of keeping them engaged. Not to go after an easy target, but you need to know how to manage your audience’s alarm if you don’t want to end up like Game of Thrones.

The limits of the spider-sense also keep you on your toes when handled by a smart writer. It tells Peter (everyone’s is a little different, so I’m going to cite the og) about threats to his person, but it doesn’t elaborate with any details when it’s not already obvious why, what kind, and from what. And it doesn’t warn him about anything else-- Which is a pretty critical gap when you zoom out and look at his hero career’s successes and failures and conclude that it’s definitely why he’s lived as long as he has acting the way he does, but was useless as he failed to save a string of people he’d have much rather had live on than him.

(Any long-running superhero mythos has these incidents, but with Peter they’re important to the core themes.)

And since this power is by plot for plot (or because it’s roughly agreed it only really blares about threats that check at least two boxes of being major, immediate, or physical), it always kicks in enough to register when the danger is bearing down...when it’s too late to actually do anything about it if “anything” is a more complex action than “dodge”.

Really? Not until the elevator doors started to open?

That Distinctive, Crunchy Spider Flavor

The spider-sense and its little pen squiggles go hand in hand with wallcrawling (and its unique and instantly identifiable associated body language) to make the Spider-Person powerset enduringly iconic and elevate characters with it from being generic mid-level super-bricks. Visually, but also in how it shapes the story.

I said it can share a narrative role with super strength. But when you end a fight and go home, super strength continues to make your character feel powerful, probably safer than they’d be otherwise, maybe dangerous.

The spider-sense just keeps blaring, “Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! God, why aren’t you doing something about this!?”

Pretty morose thing to live with, for a safety net! Kind of a double edged sword you have there! Could be constantly being hyperattuned to problems would prime you for a negative outlook on life. Kind of seems like a power that would make it impossible for a moral person to take a day off, leading them into a beleaguered and resentful yet dutiful attitude about the whole superhero gig! Might build up to some of the core traits of this mythos, maybe! Might lead to a lot of fifteen minute retirement stories, or something. Might even be a built in ‘great responsibility’ alarm that gets you a main character who as a rule is not going to stop fighting until he physically cannot fight anymore.

Certainly not apropos of anything, just throwing this short lived barely-a-joke tagline up for fun.

One of my personal favorite things about stories with superpowers is keeping in mind how they cause the people who have them to act in unusual ways outside of fights, so when you tell me that these people have an entire extra sense that tells them when the gas in their house is leaking through a barely useful hot/cold warning system that never turns off, I’m like, eyes emojis, popcorn out, notebook open, listening intently, spectacles on, the whole deal.

It also contributes to Peter Parker’s personality in a way I really enjoy: It allows him to act like an irrational maniac. When you know exactly when a situation becomes dangerous and how much, normal levels of caution go out the window and absolutely nothing you do makes sense from an exterior standpoint anymore. That’s the good shit. I would like to see more exploration of how the non-Parker characters experiencing the world in this incredibly altered way bounce in response.

It’s also one of many tools in this franchise hauling the reader into relating more closely with the main character. The backbone of classic Spidey is probably being in on secrets only Peter and the reader know which completely reframe how one views the situation on the page. It’s just a big irony mine for the whole first decade. A convenient way to inform the reader and the lead that something is bad news that’s not perceivable to any other characters is youth-with-a-big-exciting-secret catnip.

Another point for tension, there, in that being aware of danger is not synonymous with being able to act on it. If there’s no visible reason for you to be acting strange, well...you’re just going to have to sit tight and sweat, aren’t you? Some gratuitous head wiggles never hurt when setting up that type of conflict.

Have I mentioned that they look cool? Simultaneously punchy and distinctive, with a respectable amount of leeway for artists to get creative with and still coming up with something easily recognizable? And pretty easy to intuit the meaning of even without the long-winded explanations common in the days when people wrote comics with the intent that someone could come in cold on any random issue and follow along okay, I think, although the mechanic has been deeply ingrained in popular culture for so long that I can’t really say for sure.

It was also useful back in the day when no artists drew the eyes on the Spider-Man mask as emoting and were conveying the lead’s expressions entirely through body language and panel composition. If you wiggle enough squiggles, you don’t need eyebrows.

Take This Handwave and Never Ask Me a Logistical Question Again

This ability patches plot holes faster than people can pick them open AND it can act as an excuse to get any plot rolling you can think of if paired with one meddling protagonist who doesn’t know how to mind their own business. Buy it now for only $19.99 (in four installments; that’s four installments of $19.99).

Why can a teenager win a six on one fight against other superhumans? Well, the spider-sense is the ultimate edge in combat, duh.

Why can Peter websling? Why doesn’t everyone websling? Well, the spider-sense is keeping him from eating flagpole when he violently flings himself across New York in a way neither man nor spider was ever meant to move.

How are we supposed to get him involved with the plot this week???? Well, that crate FELT dangerous, so he’s going to investigate it. Oh, dip, it was full of guns and radioactive snakes! Probably shouldn’t have opened that!

Yeah, okay, but why isn’t it fixing everything, then? Isn’t it supposed to be why Peter has never accidentally unmasked in front of somebody? ('Nother entry for this section, take a shot.) That’s crazy sensitive! How does he still have any problems!? Is everything bad that’s ever happened to characters with this powerset bad writing!? --Listen, I think as people with uncanny senses that can tell us whether we are in danger with accuracy that varies from incredible to approximate (I am talking about the five senses that most people have), we should all know better than to underestimate our ability to tune them out or interpret them wrong and fuck ourselves up anyway. I honestly find this part completely realistic.

*SLAPS ROOF OF SPIDER-SENSE* YOU CAN FIT SO MANY STORIES IN THIS THING

The spider-sense is a clean branch into...whatever. There is the exact right balance of structure and wishy-washiness to build off of. A sample selection of whatevers that have been built:

It’s sci-fi and spy gadgets when Peter builds technology that can interface with it.

It’s quasi-mystical when Kaine and Annie-May get stronger versions of it that give them literal psychic visions, or when you want to get mythological and start talking about all the spider-characters being part of a grand web of fate.

Kaine loses his and it becomes symbolic of a future newly unbound by constraints, entangled thematically with the improved physical health he picked up at the same time -- a loss presented as a gain.

Peter loses his and almost dies 782 times in one afternoon because that didn’t make the people he provoked when he had it stop trying to kill him, and also because he isn’t about to start “””taking the subway’’””’ “‘’“”to work”””’’” like some kind of loser who doesn’t get a heads up when he’s about to hit a pigeon at 50mph.

Peter’s starts tuning into his wife’s anxiety and it’s a tool in a relationship study.

It starts pinging whenever Peter’s near his boss who’s secretly been replaced by a shapeshifter and he IGNORES IT because his boss is enough of an asshole that that doesn’t strike him as weird; now it’s a comedy/irony tool.

Into the Spider-Verse made it this beautiful poetic thing connecting all the spider-heroes in the multiverse and stacked up a story on it about instant connection, loss, and incredibly unlikely strangers becoming a found family. It was also aesthetic as FUCK. Remember the scene where Miles just hears barely intelligible whispering that’s all lines people say later in the film and then his own voice very clearly says “look out” and then the room explodes?? Fuck!!!!

Venom becomes immune to it after hitchhiking to Earth in Peter’s bone juice and it makes him a unique threat while telling a more-homoerotic-than-I-assume-was-originally-intended story about violation and how close relationships can be dangerous when they go sour.

It doesn’t work on people you trust for maximum soap opera energy. Love the innate tragedy of this feature coming up.

IN CONCLUSION I don’t have much patience for writers who don’t take advantage of it, never mind feel they need to write around it.

#spiderman #peter parker #spiderverse #spidey #marvel #danny phantom #one day you'll see what i'm doing with it in the project i'm collabing on w/ my brother and then you'll all be sorry and hopefully impresse #mirrorfalls #asks answered #essays

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (3/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

Yep yep yep, I'm liking this season a lot! 😍 Although I hope we'll get into a more frantic situation now, like with more battles and more bonding moments (Nya and Maya hopefully, but with Bentho too 🦈🦈🦈)! We got half a season to go, I'M READY!! 😎😎

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I do like the season a lot, maybe MoM was a little more cohesive? Idk but it's not a big complain, I still love it so far 😍

Also maybe I would've liked more interactions between Nya and Maya about how they've been apart for so long, they had a chit chat but I would've loved even more. Maybe with Nya saying that it was fine and she grew up only to realize she is still hurt by that, even though it wasn't Maya's fault. I still like how they did it, I wished there was more that's it 🤷‍♀️

While I do make sense to Maya's behavior, that while it seems a little different from Hands of Time it had its logic in my opinion, maybe Ray feels a little weird? He seems less courageous than before, and it was established that he is a hothead like his son so that came off as unusual 🤔🤔

But I do love the fact that he's here and he's bonding with his son, for real, I've been waiting for this for so long so I'm happy nonetheless 🤩

Maybe I'm just easy to please and I take all I can get idk 😅

THE STORM AMULET

Oh, are we gonna address the wind element? It feels like we haven't really seen a Morro reference since Hands of Time, that would be cool! 😍 I mean, why even mentioning the wind then 😅😅

Well what do you know, they tracked them, who saw that coming?... me, I saw that coming... we all did probably 🤷‍♀️

Jay took upon himself making a quick recap on how Ninjago will be destroyed this time, thanks Bluebell 👌

Yep nyeheh electricity makes Nya go crazy for sure ❤💙 ... wait it wasn't a Jaya pun?

Jay wear your seatbelt please, you risk you life enough 😅😅 Pff lol "are we there yet" and they are actually there, biggest plot twist I've ever heard of 😂

LEGO HUG 💜💜💜

And with someone who might as well join the League of Jay apparently 💙

I liked The Island yet it was not as exciting as I hoped for, but now understand the meaning of it. The ninja helped the keepers and they are all allies. Without The Island the moment where Mammatus gives Nya the amulet wouldn't be as meaningful

Is it just me or Nya looked even more gorgeous during that moment?... just me huh? Okay then 😂💕

Wait that's a fake? Wait... UNCLE POWERS?!? OMG THAT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE COMING 🤯

Here I thought he was just messing around, he always makes things harder 😅 Or maybe better? I mean, they kinda missed a bullet on this one...

BENTHO IS SO SWEET AND COOL OMG HE IS ALREADY OUR FRIEND 💙🦈💙🦈

Jay somehow had his own TV show in the past and yet he's got that horrible acting skills wth 😂😂😂

Kalmaar is a very cool villain, like, deeply evil. Not only he's calculated and merciless, he stops at nothing to get what he wants. And the people that get in the way? He wants them to suffer because they had dared to confront him 😳

And yes the voice does help a lot, I'm sorry I'll keep saying it until the season is over 😂 (or even beyond? Please cast Giles again LEGO 🥺🥺🥺)

Awww Nya no my poor girl 😢 Jay wanted to hug her to comfort her he is so sweet my SHIP ❤💙❤💙

MOM PEP TALK MOM PEP TALK!!! 🤩🤩🤩 How cool was it?

Like, this isn't even Maya asking Nya to believe in herself, this is her saying that she KNOWS her daughter can do anything when she puts her mind into it. FINALLY SHE SEES HOW AMAZING WATER GODDESS IS 💜💜💜

MORE LEGO TEARS OMG THIS SEASON IS FILLED WITH TEARS 😱 Which... kinda makes sense considering it's a water based season 😂

Nice one, and now? NOW WE GO BACK TO KAI COLE AND RAY YAS!!! ❤🖤❤🖤

RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX

That is... surprisingly Egypt theme like? It feels like a title coming from the Fire Chapter of season 11... well we got two fire elementals so 😍😍

SPARRING KAI AND RAY

I REPEAT SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! ❤❤❤ Lol Ray got old, but how can someone blame him? He did touch death while aging in Hands of Time, I'm just happy he is alive 😂

Yep, master prankster Wu, that's what I love 👌👌 I always thought Wu had become a father figure for Kai at the beginning, so seeing Ray and Wu in the same picture feels very wholesome to me 😚

Ah, uncle Powers, I both love you and hate you so freaking much 😌😌 But you make cool slides nonetheless 😂

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH BEAUTIFUL SMITH INTERACTIONS??

BECAUSE I LIKE IT KEEP GOING 🤩

Oh no you guys are stranded on an island whatever are you going to do?? It's not like you had already before and managed to survive (Skybound) or you got stranded on a rock in a sea of sand filled with giant monsters (Fire Chapter) or you were on a freaking COMET in SPACE (Rebooted). Yeee, this is the worst yet 🙂

I'm starting to think these ninja are just a bunch of drama queens so no matter what happens, it's always hopeless 😂😂 I feel like I'm kinda right on this one honestly 😛

Whoa whoa WHOA WHO IS NYAD THIS SOUNDS VERY COOL???

Aww I like that, while Ray told his kids stories about dragons and how they traveled through the Underworld, Maya told them about Nya the first water master that could summon whales 💙❤💙❤

Pff imagine if it turned out Nya was the master of fire, carrying a very water based name? Lol

Maya: I would know if it was possible!

Nya: Yeah, like she knows that I can control a bit of ice because it's frozen water

Maya:...

Maya: YOU WHAT

I find both interesting and very annoying that this explorers club thinks so highly of themselves, to the point the deny to aid even the FREAKING SAVIORS OF THEIR FREAKING LAND 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Misako got good reflexes after all, Kai was probably ready to melt this guy's face 😅

Oh, so a trial by Sphinx is a challenge? A mental one? A cultural one? A physical one? Idk but Misako is actually taking charge and that is cool I guess 🤷‍♀️

Okay this is kind of weird, how is Ray so afraid? Is it because there's fire?... did he... did he grow afraid of fire for some reason? Because it feels a bit off for now, but if there is a deeper meaning that could be interesting 🤔

Wait is that the riddle from Decoded? That's fire right?

IT IS FIRE 🔥🔥🔥

Lol at least in this one Kai wasn't completely ignored 😂 I know my flame babe isn't the most rational person, but I do like that it was an answer connected to his element where he used his head!

Ah Clutch, you really got no backbone 😅 And apparently you're the only explorer who doesn't, dang look at the others go! I'm having a bit more respect for them now 😚

LOOK AT SENSEI GO FINALLY!!! 😍😍 FIGHTING SCENES HECK YES!!!

Kalmaar: I'm your conquerer

Wu: so after skeletons, the serpentine, nindroids, the Stone Army, Chen's army, ghosts, oni, more snakes but on fire and people from a game, that makes you the tenth. Have a free cookie

Kalmaar:...

Wu: you're not special

Is this a little throwback to Possession too? Nya seems to always control better water when she doesn't actually think about it. When her feelings are free, so are her powers 🌊🌊🌊

Also this opens up more possibilities! Creatures connected with other elements might get summoned too! I would love something like that 😍😍

This was NEAT, or maybe I just missed Kai that much ❤ What's next??

PAPERGIRL

ANTONIAAAAAAAA!!!! MY GIRL IS BACK!!! All my girls are back in this season, I'm so happy 😍😍😍 And if she is here, sweet little Nelson has to be around and I cannot wait! Bring in the purple ninja! 💜

Owww Antonia's last day as a papergirl? Nooo why??

She's got a job at the... DAIRY DRAGON??? OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ICE CREAM PLACE BRAGI TOLD US ABOUT ON TWITTER!!! 🤩🤩🤩 I remember the post, he was asking about names for the place and ice cream flavors. Now I can't wait to see what did he choose 🍦🍦🍦

UNAGAMI BABY HI HONEY!!! 🙋‍♀️ I hope he's doing great 😘😘

This is so cool honestly, Antonia got her own character arc going on! Living in a chaotic city like Ninjago City must be pretty dang exhausting 😅

Was... was that Dareth in the garbage can? Am I wrong? Poor brown ninja 😅🤎😅

SPINJITZU SWIRL, BANANAKHAN, ORANGE SERPENTINE, I'M DYING 😂😂😂

Their friendship is so wholesome, I'm so happy they are still together no matter what happens 💕

I thought Kalmaar wasn't much of a fighter but DANG he's got skills! Also the fact that he uses tentacles makes the fight very cool to watch! 😚😚

RAY RUNNING IN AFTER KAI GOT HURT HECK YES ❤❤❤

Well at least you tried Ray 😅

Ah, little cameo of the original Weekend Whip, always nice to hear it again... AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!!! 🌪🌪🌪

EVEN NELSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M SO PROUD 💜

I don't even know what is cooler, the kids being mad lads on their bikes, Kalmaar driving a TRUCK or Kai going full parkour on the buildings to follow them 🤯

I'm sorry... am I the only one that during the Kai and Kalmaar talk kinda thought of Jestro and Clay? I miss my boys from NK, they're even more at odds now 😭😭

KAI YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OR EVEN TRY TO DIE GET BACK HERE AT ONCE 😱😱

Kalmaar just loves to make everyone feel inferior, gotta be his hobby 😶

Oh good Kai is back

OH NOT GOOD KAI IS NOT BREATHING?!? FLAME BABE I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE 😱😱😱

Antonia, Nelson, you guys are now my heroes. You saved my fave, I'll be forever in dept with you ❤❤❤ Am I being overdramatic? Most likely, but Kai is one of the few that didn't almost die or did die in a dramatic situation and he is also my absolute favorite character so that... kinda keeps my sanity in check in this show 🥴

I wonder... does he still not know how to swim? He saved Lloyd in Possession but I wonder if he was only trying to float on the surface... THAT'S TERRIFYING

This episode was so adorable, I love Antonia and Nelson so much 💜💕💜💕 It's nice to see what the other people of Ninjago do while everything goes mad 🤣

Wait hang on my Ninjajan is a little rusty

"Ninjago City. City that never sleeps" well if that ain't the truth 😂

MASTER OF THE SEA

Like Master of the Mountain? Wait are we going back to Shintaro?? VANYA?? ANOTHER BEST GIRL RETURNS??? 💛

Hey hey hey, we got a full Nyad backstory! I really like when they do these little drawn shots, they feel more like legends! And... the ending sounds terrifying? Like, they wouldn't let Nya sacrifice herself and die... again... right? 😱

Bentho: and the world was in balance, until now because of my brother

Lloyd: and the Overlord before of course

Bentho: the what now?

Lloyd: the evil one my grandpa the first Spinjitzu Master fought?

Bentho: YOUR WHAT NOW

Why do I like this offscreen "hiiiyaaa" that sensei Wu does before actually going into the scene? 😂😂

No matter if they come from the underground or the sea, these are all snake-like creature with the same intellect 😅 Kalmaar and Garmadon would have a lot to talk about, sea king dealing with his minions does remind me of Lord Garmadon in season 2 a lot 😂😂

KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤

OMG Kalmaar is such a brat and petty villain I love him so much 😂😂😂 Yes I didn't even mention his amazing voice!... AH DANG IT 😳😳

*Misako kicks Kalmaar and is actually useful* 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

*Misako gets taken as hostage immediately after* 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

KAI LITERALLY JUST GOT SAVED FROM DROWNING WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM!!!... and Ray and Cole and Wu of course, I care okay 😅

OMG that face 🤣🤣🤣

That some meme material right there

Whoa Vincent that voice just got super up when the Unsinkable showed up, it kinda sounded like Jay's lol

NO NOT BENTHO!!! 😢😢😢

Kai: Nya talks to whales now? (I snorted so hard at this 😂😂)

HECK YES NYA GOT THE AMULET!! 😍😍😍 ... we got, like, four more episodes to go so something needs to happen in between... do I need to be scared? I feel like I need to be scared 😅

Jay starting a fire then blaming Kai?... this is so in character I got chills 😂😂

SHARK BOY IS STAYING TO THE MONASTERY THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I want all the shenanigans and we need to write fanfictions about more shenanigans and AAAAHHHHH 🦈🦈🦈

Bless these two fire idiots

They own my heart ❤🔥❤🔥 Also Vincent, this is supposed to be a fun little gag moment, your amazing voice acting is kinda distracting me 😭😭😭

ANOTHER LEGO HUG

YOU GUYS ARE SPOILING ME OVER HERE HECK YES 💙🌊💙🌊

Maya learned that her daughter is capable of everything, I love that. Nya simply understood that she doesn't have to give up when something gets difficult. She is AMAZING and can do anything she puts her mind into. She simply has to hold on until the end 💪💪💪

Omg Benthomaar playing billiard with the guys I already love this 😍😍

YES IT IS SHINTARO!!! THE UPPLY ARE HERE OMG!!! HI VANYA YOU LOOK AMAZING GIRL MISS YOU I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY!!! 💛💛💛 ... I just really like Master of the Mountain okay 😅

I love how Vanya doesn't even question it. It comes from Cole and he said it needs to be protected? Done and done 👌

Wait what, did something fall?

IS THAT THE FAKE?!?!? WHAT HOW WHEN??? UNCLE POWERS??? OR KALMAAR DID SOMETHING??? SOMEONE??? I'M LEGIT CONFUSED AND EXCITED??? 🤯🤯🤯

Well dang, I didn't see that coming, now what Seabound? What do you have for me?

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago seabound #ninjago spoilers #ninjago season 15 #spoilers #ninjago nya #nya smith #ninjago kai #kai smith #ninjago jay #jay walker #ninjago zane #zane julien #ninjago cole #cole brookstone #ninjago pixal #pixal borg #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #ninjago benthomaar #benthomaar #ninjago kalmaar #kalmaar #ninjago maya #maya smith #ninjago ray #ray smith #ninjago wu #master wu

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #dp thoughts

[willymywonkers]

Experiments

Summary: A flashback to when Wonka first opened up his factory, and his relationship with his partner and close friend, Maude, were all the rage. A new guy pulls into town and has his sights set on Maude. Drama ensues.

A/N: Oof, I apologize if the ending feels a little rushed. I should say this fic does have a bittersweet feel to it, but that's how I like it lol. I am working on rewriting one of my other fics because honestly I think I've gotten better at writing Wonka, lol

Willy Wonka made headlines around the world when he opened the largest chocolate factory ever in history. He stood proudly in front of the looming building as the press went wild.

People stood all around the factory, celebrating such a momentous occasion. Especially, Maude Figgle, who stood right in front of the crowd, chewing on a piece of gum.

While chocolate was Willy's main passion, Maude helped out in crafting different kinds of gum. She even invented a kind of gum that would never loss its flavor. The press never seemed to care much about her, even though she was the brains behind most of his famous candies.

"Hello, and thank you for coming." Willy began to speak on a podium. He began adjusting the microphone. He took out several notecards, flipping through each of them.

Finally, he spoke again. "It is with great honor that I, Willy Wonka, have finally opened the largest chocolate factory in the world. Candy has always been my passion since I was a little boy, and I couldn't have done it alone. Maude Figgle, my very good friend and partner, has done so many things to help me on this incredible journey that I could never imagined of doing it on my own. Now, without a further ado, Wonka's factory is now opened!"

The crowd cheered as Willy stood up and cut the rope of his shiny new factory.

Maude ran up the steps, waving to the crowd. She hugged Willy, tightly.

Will was a bit surprised at the hug. He chuckled nervously, hugging Maude back.

It was the happiest day of their lives.

Will sat in his office, admiring all the workers below. After just a few months, people already seemed to enjoy working at the factory. Will would go down from his office sometimes, and test the different samples that people had made.

Maude was usually in the experiment room, where she made most of her breakthroughs. She was currently testing out a type of rock candy that projected different kinds of emotions.

"Maude, if you keep chewing that gum, your jaw will close shut, haha." Will said, jokingly.

"Yeah, says who, Smartypants?" Maude chuckled, and continued chewing.

Gum seemed to be the only thing that keep her focus. Ever since she was a little girl, she had a habit of chewing gum. She would chew faster if she was nervous or extremely focused. When she didn't have gum to chew, Maude would chew on her hair, pencils, or anything to keep her mind to focus.

Willy's stance on gum was obvious. He hated the stuff, but when it came to Maude, he seemed to tolerate it a lot more.

"Whatcha working on?" Will asked, leaning over Maude's shoulder.

"None of your business." Maude scoffed.

Will pouted, crossing his arms. "Haha, jokes on you. This factory is my business."

"Oh, of course, Mr. International Hotshot." Maude pushed Will gently to the side, and grabbed a few chemicals from behind him.

"You better believe it, missy." Willy looked to the experimentation table. There seemed to be a rock that was glowing pink.

"What does that mean?" Will asked, looking to Maude.

"It's emotional rock candy. You just touch it, and it'll glow whatever color you're feeling." Maude said, excited at her new invention. "It's like a mood ring."

"Uh-huh, and what does pink mean?" Will asked, again, placing his gloved hand on the rock.

Maude blushed, slightly. "Um, it's usually referred to the feeling of love or well happiness. It's kinda not really completed yet."

The rock candy began to shake as well as turn several different colors.

Maude gulped, grabbing Will to the ground. The rock exploded and bits of rock candy seemed to blow everywhere.

Luckily, there wasn't any other workers nearby, but Maude and Willy.

Willy grabbed his cane, and started laughing. "That was magnificent! We should do that again, but next time we should add different labels on the colors."

Maude chuckled as well. "Hehe, of course."

"Yes, we should definitely do that when I get back from India."

Maude's smiled quickly faded. "Leaving? To India?"

"Prince Pondicherry asked me to build him a palace entirely made out of chocolate." Willy chuckled. "It's really a strange request, is it not?"

"Yes, but, who will be in charge when you're gone?"

"You will, of course."

Maude's eyes widened as Willy headed out the door. "But, wait, why me?"

"Why not you? You're the only gosh darn person I'd trust to run this entire factory."

Maude smiled, slightly. She seemed a little troubled. "I'll do my best, Will."

He smiled back at her, pulling her into a hug.

Maude hesitantly hugged back. She looked up at the chocolateir's face. He looked young and bright. His lips were almost kissable. His hair was all short and crooked.

Maude pulled out of the hug and looked away. The very words "I love you" hung to her tongue, as Willy walked out of the factory.

"Good luck, Will."

A few weeks later, the press were hounding the factory, curious to where the chocolateir went off to.

Maude tried to maintain her composure without him, but it was no use to the press. They liked to dismiss her like she was some secretary. It annoyed her at times.

Even some of the workers in the factory didn't seem to care that she was in charge. They would say revolting things behind her back. Soon she didn't show up to the break room anymore. She started chewing her gum a lot faster.

"Um, excuse me, miss." A man said, knocking on the door of Wonka's office.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Wonka isn't here right now. Is there anything I can help you with?" Maude asked, opening the door for the man.

"No, actually. I was just looking for you." The man stammered.

The man seemed to have red hair, with captivating green eyes.

"Well, is there anything that you need help with, sir?" Maude repeated.

"Um, I apologize if this comes off as a bit dodgy, but I wanted to ask if you'd get drinks with me later?"

Maude crossed her arms at the offer. "I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to decline, because I've got lots of work to catch up on."

The man still insisted. "The drinks would be on me."

"Uh-huh. Another thing is I don't even know your name." Maude said, rolling her eyes.

"It's Ron, Ron Duncan." The man stuck out his hand.

She looked at his hand, and raised an eyebrow. "Maude Figgle. Now, I'm really swamped with work, if you'll excuse me."

"Look, I get that you're busy, but, I really admire your since I was a kid. In my opinion, you'd be better off without Wonka." The man turned to leave.

Maude stopped whatever she was doing and looked at him. "That's very kind of you. You know what, sure, I'll go."

"Great, then it's a date." Ron smiled at her and walked off.

From that first meeting, Maude didn't expect to be in a relationship with him. Ron seemed so nice and caring, but there was something off about him. She didn't exactly know what, but she did have a feeling that his intentions were cloudy.

When Willy got back from India, he was greeted by a tight hug from Maude.

"Ah, it's good to be back after such a long time. India is scolding hot, you know." Willy said, as he hugged Maude back.

"There's someone I want you to meet." She smiled at Will, bringing him over to Ron.

Willy's smile faltered, when she gave Ron a kiss on the cheek. "Heh, hi."

"This is Ron. He's my boyfriend." Maude said, holding onto Ron's hand.

Ron stuck out his hand for Will to shake it. Will hesitantly shook it with a disgusted look on his face.

"I find it extraordinary that after all this time you guys held up your friendship." Ron smiled. It seemed to have a sour connotation to it.

Will smiled back, just as sourly. "Uh-huh, yeah. We've had the same dream since we were kids."

Ron's smile disappeared, slightly. He gave Maude another kiss before heading off. It made Will grimace slightly, as Ron walked off.

Will didn't know how to describe it, but he didn't like Ron. In fact, he grew to despise him, but he just didn't know why.

Whenever he would see Maude all lovey dovey with Ron, it just made Will sick to his stomach. Soon, candy sales began to drop. His chocolate just wasn't tasting as good as it used to.

It started getting worse when spies began stealing his life's work. The only thing that kept him afloat was Maude.

One day, Maude announced that she was getting engaged. However, she didn't seem too thrilled about it.

Willy picked up on it right away. She didn't seem to want anything to do with him anymore.

Maude began to distance herself from Will more and more. He felt more hollow without her.

During the wedding, Will showed up to walk Maude down the aisle.

"H-hey, Maude." He began.

"Yes?" She answered.

Will couldn't get over how she looked in her wedding dress. Her hair was done up all nice, and her lips looked almost kissable. He placed his gloved hand on her cheek, as the words "I love you" hung on the tip of his tongue.

"Good luck." He said, as he walked her down the aisle.

#catcf #catcf 2005 #willy wonka #maude figgle #maude and willy #catcf fan character #catcf oc #willy wonka x reader #willy wonka x oc

[abalonetea]

Ok, first, let me just say WOW because you have the coolest page and I love the theme. This is.... so cool.Ok, but yes, back to the question. I was asking about horses because, yeah, I ride occasionally, but I don't really know cool horse terms. Trying to write about them and didn't know if there's good lingo for such. Or like, long term traveling no-no's. Obviously food, water, and distance, but if there were other tricks of the trade. Have any pointers?

thank you!! i’m absolutely in love with the lay-out of it, and how the theme ended up looking! i wanted something new and figured, hey, why not fully embrace the video game aspect of my wip? c:

i’m always down for horse chatter, no matter what it’s about! i’ve been working on horse farms since i was nine - which sounds strange to say, i realize, but i used to do farm work in exchange for lessons, and then it just evolved to paid farm work, haha. so, yeah, knowing how amazing your writing always is, the thought of you doing some horse related scenes just makes me incredibly happy and excited?

for long term traveling inspiration, i would check out endurance rides! it used to be primarily dominated by Arabians and half-Arabian breeds, but a larger variety becomes prominent in the circuit every year. we’ve had Morgan’s and quarter horses win the Nationals before and everything.

outside of food, water, and distance, some of the biggest things that i see forgotten about (but might not be relevant to your writing!) would be the soundness of a horse, and whether they’re still being groomed. and all this rambling is just! me guessing at the setting and situation! so it may or may not be helpful but - well, i like rambling about horses, so i hope you don’t mind! i’m mostly going under the assumption that by long distance you mean cross country, or something close to that, spanning several days or at least a week’s worth of riding. c:

depending on the setting, the thought of grooming a horse during a long distance travel might come across as strange. but if the same sweaty blanket, cushion, or saddle pad is left on the horse’s back for an extended amount of time, the sweat and the friction can rub sores - which then make the horse irate, and sometimes can even result, depending on the temperament of the horse, in being bucked off. 

solution for a desperate time - hop off, undo the girth on one side, slide the saddle back onto the haunches or up onto the neck (if a well trained horse, otherwise if the horse is young or antsy, the saddle may need to come off completely) and take a dry rag to the coat. if a hard brush or curry is available and time allows, a quick rub down wouldn’t hurt, but a dry rag will work if time and supplies are limited.

then flip the pad over, so the dry side is against the horse and tack back up. if time is extra limited, just flip over the saddle pad and skip the rag.

the other big thing is that a horse can easily injure itself on a trail. i love them, but half the time i feel like horses are held together by used chewing gum and some old string? so even if your horse doesn’t actually injure itself during the story, it might be something to keep in mind. they can pull leg muscles, bruise their frog, damage their hoof, and even cut their coronary band if the foliage is particularly thick and thorny!

so if you’re looking for extra drama, just nudge the horse into a situation that will leave it lame for a little bit, haha!

and some of favorite horse things that i love to include when writing about horses!

*when you’ve been riding for a really long time and your back is starting to hurt so you lean forward, draping yourself over the horse’s neck and it’s sweaty and dirty but the smell of horse is a comfort so you both just stand their silently for a few moments

*after a really hard ride but you can’t get off just yet so you do stretches in the saddle, like bending backwards so your shoulders are on the rump of the horse, and bending your legs in weird ways because they’re cramped

*a horse that’s too scared to walk through tall grass on its own but trusts you so much that as long as you walk in front of it, he’ll follow behind you

*horses playing with each other! halter tag, anyone?

*the specific sound of horse hooves hitting the ground, especially when it’s hard packed earth, especially if there are a lot of them

*hot horse breath on your hand when you give the horse a treat or hold up a bucket of water for them to drink out of

*that one horse who fills its mouth up with water and then purposefully dumps it on the rider’s shoulder

*the sheer exhilaration that comes from galloping a horse through a wide, open expanse where there’s nothing keeping you confined and the wind is cutting against your face and your heart is pounding and it’s like the both of you are the same being

*if you’re going long distance and are able to plan ahead of time, the pack you bring needs more than just food for the horse. pack smart and light! hay string is invaluable. so is vet-wrap (or an ace bandage swiped from the med bay) and duck tape. those three things can fix nearly any problem that occurs during your travels.

some facts from my personal life experience!

*did you know that you can fix a horse’s injured hoof with a preemie diaper and some duck tape

*did you know that you can fix their knee the same way

*did you know that you can make a sweat wrap for a horse’s swollen leg using clingwrap

*braiding a horse’s tail all the way to the tip is actually really ineffective for a horse that’s outside for any length of time. if you braid it down halfway, they still have the loose hair at the bottom to use as a fly swatter!

*horse bites are incredibly painful and not just when they nip your hand. i still have scars and tissue damage from being bit on the shoulder and thrown across the ten foot stall by a horse that was in pain and lashing out at me. it turned into a massive hematoma and i couldn’t lift my arm up past my breasts for almost three months

*getting kicked by a horse is incredibly painful but certainly not a death sentence and might not even leave you out of the field for a long time. i was double barreled out in the field one day, got the stitches put into my chin, had x-rays taken, and then went to finish my day’s worth of work. 

*that being said it absolutely can be really awful. my first trainer was thrown by a horse and landed the wrong way, so it completely shattered her arm and she ended up needing five surgeries. my second trainer was kicked in the face by a horse and it ended up breaking off parts of her teeth.

*night riding is asking for trouble, because the eyes of a horse have a hard time distinguishing things in heavy shadow. it’s why they tend to freak out over seemingly little things; the cones in their eyes just aren’t meant for distinguishing things in the dark.

*if your horse has never seen a cow or donkey before, it will terrify them. 

*ive never met a horse who didn’t like gatorade and that really has no relevance to anything, and probably is no use to anyone, but it’s still something that i wanted to share! i’ve worked with over 500 separate horses at my various farm jobs, and i’ve never met a single horse that turned down gatorade when i offered it to them

*rice bran tastes like vanilla cookies

*bute powder might smell like fruit loops but it does not taste like fruit loops

*sweet feed is edible for humans but the molasses gives it a very bitter flavor. alternatively, non-sweet feed kind of tastes like you’re eating dry bran cereal

i don’t know if any of this is even slightly useful to you, but it sure was fun to write up! and i am always up for talking about horses or answering any questions that you (or anyone else) might have! i’ve basically worked in every aspect of the horse industry at some point or another, and while i’m not a specialist by any means, i am most certainly a jack of all trades when it comes to farm work, barn work, and horse work

[sagebodisattva]

Severe Condemnation of Mediocrity

Yeah, it's a shame to have to say this, but somebody's got to do it. Not only for your own good, but also just to go on record as someone in the masses that finally said what needed to be said, concerning the pervasive permeation of rampant vapidity that has saturated the human consciousness. So, you know, the ole roll up the sleeves dirty job requirement thing.

The most shallow superficial individuals with the lowest intelligence concern themselves with people and gossip, the moderately shallow superficial ones with average intelligence concern themselves with places and events, but the truly wise conceptually deep ones with the highest intelligence concern themselves with concepts and ideas. I say this because sometimes people ask me:

“Sage, how come you never do videos about people or current events?”

And, I have to tell you, the reason is simple; because that kind of content is trite, shallow, superficial, air headed, mediocrity, that only appeals to the lowest common denominator; which means, of course, the majority; of which, I have absolutely no interest in appeasing, nor to whom, the appetite of which, I will not be catering to. I am here to wake people up from delusion, not to enable sleeping lemmings to get more comfortable in their delusion by serving up predictable cheesy junk food entertainment that telegraphs all its intentions, so as to be more easily consumed by lazy sedentary brains, that love to get banged over the head with sophomoric catchy unchallenging candy coated tripe, so as to mask the inner quiet desperation with some fake outward appearance of arrogant clever self satisfaction, which upholds a contrived self image as being one who is among those who fit in, and are accepted into some smug group, that imagines itself to be just so great, because it attracts so many others of the same type, of which, you can be sure, is a whole lotta people.

This is the essence of mediocrity, and it's not anything to applaud, condone, encourage or feed into. Mediocrity is the death knell of artistry and creativity, and is a omen of bloated decadence and the rapid decay of intelligence, wisdom, philosophy and mindfulness. We should be careful when maintaining standards of quality to not reward mediocrity, for this only gives it more motivation to repeat itself, which is what it's best at, for one of the great hallmarks of mediocrity is the constant rehash and regurgitation of anything that was previously popular; and in this regard, mediocrity knows no decency, or shame. It will beat a dead horse into a pulp, and then take the pulp and make it into a smoothie, and after you throw that up, it will take the vomit and incorporate it into an energy drink.

This is the degraded state of mainstream pop culture, which began it's gradual degenerative descent into insipid superficiality in 1980, and has gotten regressively worse and worse upon each passing decade. Things got so lame that, after 1999, we even lost our creativity in the clothing styles that usually reflects the particular flavor of bubblegum that represents the pop culture zeitgeist of a decade, which you would think would be the bread and butter. Have you noticed that? If you look at the 50's, 60's, 70's. 80's and 90's, each decade has it's own unique style, but does anything really come to mind when you think about 2000 to 2009? What about 2010 to today? Anything? I can't really think of anything, other then just a mish mash rehash of past styles. There's no more distinct style accompanying the decades anymore. Everything now is either just streamlined brand names and commercial logos, or a x-factor, hipster, socio-historical grab bag of random appropriation, or just the usual formal business attire. Not that I really care all that much, but it is a demonstration of the decline of creativity via the saturation and satiation of mediocrity on the masses, which dilutes, or dries up completely, the wellspring of primary source content and original expression.

And you know that the mediocrity has reached epic proportions, with the reality shows the way they are nowadays, along with all the various parades of side shows freaks, drama queens and attention whores. It's gotten so bad, that they even do FAKE reality shows now. That's right. TV is gonna go to great lengths to indulge your need for sniffing other people's dirty underwear, and providing you with a role model archetype you can identify with, so that you may properly vicariously indulge in all the attention whoring and drama pornography, even if it mean it has to stage events to appear real. Sound familiar? This is seems to be related to a theme we find present here in this reality. This gusto for lies and fakery. Much of the time you even know it's a lie, but you love it anyway. We love fake people and fake personalities, because we are not self accepting people. We hide our pure natures behind the superficial facades of luxury, plastic surgery and extravagant lifestyles. And we keep ourselves happily sedated in this shallow fluff by consuming large amounts of prescription drugs and mainstream popular culture. And, isn't it curious that the biological definition of culture is: the cultivation of bacteria, tissue cells, etc., in an artificial medium containing nutrients. Artificial. Got the drift? And so, who is the most popular bacterium of the day? All the sheep want to know.

Yes, sheep. As in, sheeple. It's always been kind of a cool way to refer to the adherents of mediocre conformity, but I always had my own little pejorative label that I liked much better than the sheeple, which has grown into a bit of a cliche. I have always called them, the Ones. I call them the ones because they are the ones that all agree, and they are also called the ones because they are all like little metaphorical number 1's, uniformly basic, all running around in giant packs of identical meaning and purpose. What are all the ones watching? What are all the ones listening to? What does the latest poll by all the ones reveal? Which contestant have all the ones voted off the show? Because, you must be like all the ones. All the ones agree on this. Don't find yourself in opposition to all the ones. All the ones might pass a new law to crush your individuality. Cause you must be like all the ones. You must be like all the ones and (X8)....

So, to appeal to all the ones must mean that you are successful, right? To be celebrated by the lowest common denominator has become the measure of greatness. When all the clones love you, you know you have achieved something magnificent. You are now a popular mainstream product of pop culture mediocrity. Congratulations! Obviously, your appeal must be a reflection of good taste, because all the ones approve of what you are doing. You are normal, non-threatening, and unchallenging to the ones sensibilities, and thereby fit for mass consumption, and other such facilities. Because you know how bubble gum logic works, if it's popular, then that must mean that it's the best. That it's better then all the alternatives. That it's top shelf, crème de la crème, right? Yeah. And that's why fast food cheeseburgers are so much better then filet mignon. This is why junk food is so much better then gourmet cuisine. Are we to believe this? Come now. It's not better, it's just cheaper. Easier. Flashier. It's mediocre. Which, at best, just means supremely average.

How does something like that sound to you? You are so stupendously average. Quite Ordinary. Unremarkable. Standard. Normal. Typical. Regular. Are these descriptors getting you horny yet? No. Popular doesn't mean better. It means mediocre. Which, from the perspective of the refined aesthetics of a creative discerning mind, means complete and utter artistic failure. You got that? Under most circumstances, with few exceptions, popularity means epic fail. Artistically, popularity isn't indicative of success, but of a failure that is obscured by a sort of ironic condescending mocking lionization. Behind all the applause and smiling faces is the secret desire to see your downfall. This is why so many artists who were lauded and celebrated and pushed to the heights of praise and attention are promptly kicked and dragged through the dirt the second they are down. The media and paparazzi just love that, don't they. Like buzzards and vultures circling a fresh corpse. That's why they celebrate you so hard when you're on the way up. It's fresh meat. A future meal. Another mediocre subject for them to rip apart and play in the innards.

You feel bad when you see this happen to someone like Marlon Brando, but not so bad when you see it happen to anyone in this new crop of snarky millennials, who knew or blew their way to the top because it was always their dream to have the lifestyle of an artist. You dig that? The lifestyle. Actual artistry is a glossed over afterthought. They don't have much talent, but talent doesn't matter if you have a really good looking superficial appearance! Don't worry about talent, we got teleprompters and auto tune for that. What we'll loosely call your so called body of work, is really just generic filler to justify the lifestyle of a pop star, which is more important and incidentally, the subject of a new reality TV show, where the lifestyle is the feature showcase of the show! And have you seen one of these shows? They are expositions that provoke misanthropy, which is why they are best avoided; for they inspire the desire for bloodsport. They make you root in favor of the media vultures, and even want to assist them, by sharpening their talons and feeding them cocaine. Give you some privacy? Please. You got what you signed up for, so don't sneer and push the photographers, lest you get thrown to the lions. Yeah. I'm in favor of bringing back the colosseum games wherein reality TV stars and their ilk must engage in gladiator battles to the death. Now that would be something to celebrate!

And speaking of celebrating, the crypto semantics of which brings us the word "celebrity", it's amazing how mediocrity, which works so little and contributes works of such little value, feels it needs to be praised and awarded on a regular basis. You know... The type of mediocrity that is so average and so propped up by nepotistic handicapped assistance that it just simply deserves to be showered by various awards granted from itself to itself!! There's nothing better in the whole wide world then mediocrity patting itself on the back and bestowing itself mediocrity awards. A reward for a job well done, right? And they call this professionalism, which is a real slap to the intelligence. More like professional mediocrity.

But do you know what the real kick to the kidneys is? If you look up the word mediocrity in the dictionary, it's lists as a related synonym: amateur. And this is a common misconception and misassociation, as, obviously most people don't understand the meaning of the word, as it's often wrongly used to indicate a meaning of one being green or unskilled or of lame creative abilities, as we have often heard it spoken in response to displays of buffoonery to "knock it off and stop acting so amateur"... amateur doesn't mean unskilled. It means someone who does something out of a love for doing it, as opposed to the professional, who does something out of a love of profit, which automatically means it just has to be better, right? Making an amateur mistake means that you haven't been thoroughly trained on how to produce to the cookie cutter standard. You aren't formula enough. You need to become more predictable, less thoughtful and cater to someone else's standards. That's funny, considering so many of the styles and techniques that come naturally to the amateur are often later adopted and replicated by the so called professionals. The amateur has heart. The professional wants money. And that's exactly why the quality of all these mainstream projects has gone so low. The motive of profit almost always necessarily equates into a decline in quality and substance. And this truth pervades all arenas of human achievement. Ask yourself, what kind of doctor would you like treating you, or operating on you, one that loved what he was doing, or one that was just doing it just because he loves the paycheck? And what kind of politician would you want representing you, one that loves and serves the people? Or one that will use the office to benefit himself and his corporate pimps? Profit is a recipe that poisons the well. But with art it's even more of a factor that will determine quality. When you are pushing out content for profit you have basically become a pimp who is prostituting an art form, which drastically cheapens everything, despite the million dollar budget, and that's really an unfortunate shame.

And it’s really all quite depressing; which is why I’m done talking about it now... but, uh, yeah it kinda had to be said and uh, I had to say to say it. It was really not really pleasant. But I, you know, had to really deconstruct it. Chop it up, and slice it the other way... into little cubes. Can’t have that. Too much. Too much facade; it has to be chopped. You know? It’s bad enough there’s a facade; but a facade on steroids? No, it has to be chopped, sorry.