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You don’t have to apologize. Life happens. I understand! The important thing is that you’re okay. ❤

I am alright. A lot has changed with me within the last few months. Over the summer, my body decided to bless me with a new disorder, so that’s been interesting. It’s nothing too serious, so don’t worry. I can’t eat how I used to, so it’s been a weird adjustment for me. I can’t really eat anything that isn’t bland or healthy or else I get sick. It’s made me a little sad, and I’m finding it hard to deal with on some days. I lost weight through the eating thing and now that I exercise two hours daily, so that’s the silver lining, I guess. I’m just happy to put my health first, just wish it didn’t have to happen this way. 🥺

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I wake up in your arms and you smile at me despite the fact that we’ve only gotten about an hour of sleep. You whisper “good morning” and kiss me softly before crawling over me and out of bed. We were supposed to shower together, but we got carried away and our friends are already here for Sunday morning D&D. One of them brought massive amounts of coffee and bagels with cream cheese and our groggy, lagging, hungover, half-awake asses have never been more grateful for the taste of it on our tongues. 20 minutes into the game and the snow starts to come down in sheets so thick we can barely see out the windows. You keep it cold in the house even though it’s January so I’m huddled up in your sweatpants and my hoodie and a blanket from the couch. We play all day and it’s the most fun I’ve ever had despite how tired and sore and hungover we are. Everyone’s laughing all day. When we leave, I make sure I’m the last to go, trying to find a hat I’m not 100% sure I even had with me in the first place. I hug you and you tell me you had fun last night and to text you when I get home so you know I made it safe. I tell you I had fun last night too and that I will.  I hug you one last time and then I leave. When I get home, I text you that I made it safe, blissfully unaware of the walls you’re already starting to build between us.

- 9/28/2020

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hi Chii! thank you so much for these, all the questions from this ask game were so creative so i’m glad I have a chance to answer some of them ^-^

🖌 paintbrush: which F/O do you feel confident in creating content for? Which one do you feel insecure about? - Aqua came to mind as someone i’m actually more confident than not about, surprisingly. I think the fact that I had been actively selfshipping with her (albeit before I knew there was a whole term and community and everything for it) for such a long time already probably helps that, as well as having other people I know in this community who I can talk about her with. Luna is also sometimes a similar situation in terms of being more confident (in her case though it’s because she isn’t as well-known so i’m less worried about making her “out of character” since nobody here knows what her character is like), although given how.. not unpopular, but not very well-known Reborn is, i’m always so paranoid someone else from that community is going to see what I do ;w; 

(flashback to that one MMD render I did with Luna that I also posted to the Reborn Discord server that Ame herself saw and commented on - I am so glad I took any selfship-related part of it out given how many people saw and reacted to it)

💡 lightbulb: which F/O do you feel the most creative with when making content/coming up with ideas for them? Why? - hmm.. there was a period of time initially where I was really happy with how I was tying different aspects of Luna’s character to my selfship, like how I came up with reasons for her to have a Gothitelle and a Mismagius in the Glass Workstation fight despite being the Dark-type Gym Leader, and also with the parts of our story i’ve changed from canon, like her love letters and also interactions with her siblings (who, technically, she never actually gets to meet in canon). but at the same time, Skye also comes to mind here because of how I incorporated those headcanons I have about him being a changeling and stuff?? although I didn’t really come up with that so much as I saw someone else make a theory of it and immediately thought “okay no this is absolutely going to be a thing now”, hehe

⛪️ museum: if you could pick one piece you’ve made of your F/O to put on display, which one would it be? Could be your favourite, the one that took you the longest, the one you’re most proud of, etc. - now this is an excellent question.. “display” means it would probably have to be an art piece, right? so in that case, maybe that would be what I think is the most recent MMD render I did, of Aqua and Aria talking about each other even though they were separated? while I wasn’t too happy with how it ended up looking, i’m still pretty proud of the concept behind it. I really need to work on models for everyone, actually, since so far I only have a reference model for Nami, Luna, Aria, Aqua, IA, and Kyra. and since I can’t draw, I need the models to make content properly.

thank you so much again for sending these in!! sorry it took me until now to answer them~

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i was tagged in this by @kuroopaisen​ a um long long time ago and i probably hallucinated posting it (つ﹏<。) rowan i think we discussed this, but like i love how our charts are almost opposites hahahahaa

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Hey nonny! Thank you for the prompt, I hope you like it!

[send me an angst prompt + a ship]

Fitz had, what his therapist graciously called, abandonment trauma. It had started as a child, she said, with his father, and had grown with each event after. The brain injury he’d suffered had only exasperated it. On dark days, it was all he could focus on. He saw the door shutting behind his father, Jemma turning and leaving him when he needed him most, Jemma disappearing into the monolith. Jemma. Every time Jemma left felt like a bleeding wound torn open new.

“I’ve got to go,” Jemma said, packing her bag.  


“Mack asked me to go check out something on site, do a little undercover work.”

“Jemma,” he said.

“I’ll be okay.”

“No, I know, that’s,” he said, and he tripped over his tongue with a growl. He hadn’t had that happen in a while, and that day had been hard for his brain. “You’re always leaving me.”

Jemma stopped, and turned to face him.

“Excuse me?”

“How many times do I have to watch you walk away from me?”

“Fitz,” she said with a sigh. “We talked about this.”

“You talked, but I still have to stand by and watch you leave whenever something comes up, like you’re trying to get away from me.”

“That is not what this is.”

“No? Because it sure as hell seems like it to me.”

She set down the item she had been preparing forcefully.

“You’re still not over this cursed thing,” she said, trying for calm but the upset tremor in her voice betrayed it. “We are not cursed. I’m not leaving you because of some curse, Fitz. I have to go do my job.”

“It’s not just this. It’s not – it’s a recurring theme with us. It is always you walking away from me, leaving me behind, abandoning me when I needed you. I can’t keep doing this. Over and over.”

“I can’t do this right now,” she said, voice clipped. “I have to go do my job, and be in the field. So, if you don’t mind, we can argue about this later. Maybe when you’re feeling more reasonable.”

He scoffed, and didn’t flinch when she shot him an icy glare.  

“I have to go,” she repeated, zipping her bag and shouldering it. “We’ll talk about this when I get back.”

She left, shutting the door with an angry click. Fitz closed his eyes and regretted it all immediately. He hadn’t told her that he loved her. She was going out into the field where anyone could hurt her, could betray her, and the last thing she could hear from him was that. If she never wanted to see him again when she got home, his insecurities finally too much, he would understand. He didn’t really want to be around himself, either.  

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Hi everyone.

You know how everyone of us has like a type of character we always get invested into? (eg. Some of my latest fav characters in different shows have been Tissaia De Vries, Zelda Spellman, Lilith and Hecate Hardbroom, do with this information what you will)

I’ve been really thinking about what I see of myself in those characters (yes, yes, I know I’m queer and have mommy issues but let’s go deeper) and I’ve had an idea.

Next month is going to be inktober and I’m kinda lacking motivation to draw, I was thinking I’d love to get to know new characters from different fandoms and especially understand why people love them.

So, here’s the thing: if you want to, drop a character (+name of the show) in my inbox, and tell me why you love that character. I’d love to read what you all have to say about your favorite characters and maybe try and draw some of them during next month, both for practice and for fun.


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Someone explain to me why the idea of a sentient artificial being who has to program their sexual responses is something I want to read about?

I mean, I have theories about why I personally enjoy it, but I’d like to read some literary analysis/psychoanalysis/fandom wank on the concept.

Also, does anyone have any fanfic recs centered around this?

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