#i don't see the point of putting our lives on hold when we're otherwise very financially stable

[unkownbee]

Eliza: Stop doing that.

Alexander: Stop doing what?

Eliza: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

Eliza: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma?

Alexander: Oklahoma City, bitch!

('Tis a joke. Ham would never swear at his lovely wife)

Alexander: Where did you get that tomato soup?

Eliza: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

(When Eliza's too tired to put effort into cooking actual food)

Alexander: So you like cats?

Eliza: Yeah.

Alexander: Tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table.

Alexander: You got a date yet Eliza?

Eliza: No.

Alexander: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Eliza: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Alexander: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

(She's mad at him because he swore in front of baby Philip and Angie)

Alexander: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Eliza meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

(I don't know if they would actually do this, but I like to believe they would <3)

Alexander: Snow got me feeling some type of way.

Eliza: That's hypothermia.

Alexander: Damn, the paramedics told me it was the magic of Christmas.

(Eliza is very much concerned and trying to get him to go inside and sit in front of the fire)

Eliza: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Alexander: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

(Oh, it means everything <3)

Eliza: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Alexander: Okay.

Eliza: And make out during the scary parts.

Alexander: Th-

Alexander: The scary parts.

Alexander: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

(Yes, Alexander. She didn't stutter. The scary parts. Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl)

Alexander: I’m so tired.

Eliza: Did you get to bed late?

Alexander: No.

Eliza: Did you do something strenuous?

Alexander: No.

Eliza: Then why are you tired?

Alexander: I’m alive.

Eliza: Sounds exhausting.

(Eliza is right. Being alive is super exhausting 😔)

Alexander: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Eliza: Aww-

Alexander: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

(No, because he would definitely do this. You can't prove otherwise)

Alexander: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Eliza: That's great, Alexander. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 10 years and have 4 children.

(Ham just got back from drinking with his friends. He's drunk 😁)

Alexander, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

Eliza, confused: I mean, this is our house, so yeah.

Eliza: Alex, could we go shopping? All the snacks are gone.

Alexander: I AM LITERALLY RIGHT HERE?!

Alexander comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Eliza’s bedroom.

Eliza: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?

Alexander: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend.

Alexander: Lies on the ground and falls asleep.

Eliza: ...

Eliza: We're literally married, though???

(Again, Ham is drunk 😁👍)

Eliza: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Alexander: It was autocorrect.

Eliza: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me"?

Alexander: Yes.

(Yeah, that happens sometimes. Totally 👍)

Eliza: Alexander, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.

Alexander: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

(Again, Ham swore in front of the kids)

Eliza: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Alexander: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day.

Eliza: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

(And that's on those rare occasions that he actually does sleep)

Eliza: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Alexander: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Eliza: ...

Eliza: You mean ring bearER, right?

Alexander: ...

Eliza: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

(He totally is. As he should 😌✨)

Eliza: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Alexander?

Alexander: …Not really.

Eliza: Nothing?

Alexander: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

(And that, kids, is the true meaning of Christmas. Exploiting people into buying stuff that they don't really need under the guise of it being worth it. That also fits for Black Friday, actually-)

Alexander: Alright, so the vampire's gravestone is—

Eliza: Cenotaph.

Alexander: What?

Eliza: It's only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honouring someone whose body isn't present is a cenotaph.

Alexander: I'm... not sure that's how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own.

Eliza: There's a precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and reinterred elsewhere. There's no rule that says the body itself can't do the removing.

Alexander: Okay, but the body is very much coming back. That's kind of what we're here to accomplish.

Eliza: So it's a temporary cenotaph.

Alexander: And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity.

Eliza: Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.

(I just thought this one was silly. I liked it)

Alexander: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Eliza: Steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to her knees and sob while apologizing profusely.

Alexander: That one. I want that one.

Eliza: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Alexander: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

#hamilton #hamiltrash #hamilton incorrect quotes #hamilton the musical #incorrect quotes #alexander hamilton #eliza schuyler #eliza hamilton #elizabeth hamilton #elizabeth schuyler #hamliza #hamilton x eliza #hamliza incorrect quotes #i was gonna add more but then i realized just how many I've already added #looks like this is gonna be a two-parter #probably more than 2 parts

[fairycosmos]

hey sorry if this is invasive but how do you know you have depression? things have been harder to cope with for the past month but i am incredibly ashamed of asking for help or even saying out loud because i feel dramatic, attention seeking etc. even realising how much it is affecting my life. do i really need to get it out to get better?

ive had it since i was a kid and my doctor has been aware of it since i was like 11 so it was just smth i grew up with - when im in a particularly bad episode i can tell because im extremely lethargic, unmotivated, don't look after myself, am prone to severe hopelessness and a sense of impending doom following me everywhere + self destruction, i drink more, i get paranoid, i dissociate and feel disconnected from the world around me and from my own body, im numb/sad most of the time, i have panic attacks and cant get out of bed even for things i would usually want to do, im very disorganised and have a flat affect/tone of voice, i don't interact with people much....honestly the list goes on LOL.

it's important to understand that depression manifests uniquely for everybody and if youve noticed a difference in your own behaviour/thinking patterns that is actively and consistently impacting your life negatively - then that is enough of an indicator that something is going on. it doesn't need to be any worse. if it's already difficult, then it's already difficult, and you deserve support with it. to some extent it's some normal to feel ashamed/afraid of reaching out - we're raised in a world that stigmatises mental illness and we've received that messaging for a long time. which makes it feel like the truth, but doesn't mean that it is actually true. i think the bottom line is that you need to treat yourself the way you'd treat a friend going through something like this. you wouldn't want them to cut themselves off from asking for help because they've bullied themselves into silence over what people might or might not think of them. if we want to live in a world that truly supports people with mental health issues in an effective way, then we need to hold ourselves to that same standard. i know it's incredibly overwhelming, and im not saying it's wrong to be anxious or scared about reaching out. i just think actively trying to frame it from a more objective mindset could help you accept what is happening and what the right next step is for you. if you have the opportunity to talk to someone - a hotline, your doctor, a local support group or therapist, even a friend/family member to begin with - i really encourage it. even write down what you want to say or bullet point what's been going on so you don't feel like you're being put on the spot. im sure you're imagining all sorts of reactions, but in my experience, professionals are very accepting of what you're going through and just want to work with you to see how you can process and cope with your current mindset more healthily. whether it's medication, talking therapies, showing you new coping skills - there's a lot that can be done for someone in your shoes. you're not stuck and they're not going to judge you. even if, in some alternate reality, you just wanted some attention - that's not a crime. i think it's natural to want someone to witness and acknowledge us when we're hurting anyway. sorry to ramble - there are a lot of depression self help and coping pdfs that are free and available to download online which offer a bit of support. maybe that could be a good stepping stone if you're feeling super uncomfortable with the idea of talking to someone. we all work on our own timeline and thats honestly ok. but if you're looking for truly personalised and effective help then i think working towards talking to someone is your best option. it's okay to not be happy about that and still do it, like swallowing a medicine that tastes gross. otherwise the thoughts just rot inside you and you get lost in a spiral of depressive thinking patterns and it weighs you down having to manage it all alone inside your head. you become at risk of losing all objectivity and sense of self, which happens to me often and is fucking horrible. if it's possible, i really hope you eventually bring this up to a loved one or a professional. im really sorry you're going through this and i truly hope better days are ahead. sending a lot of love. X

#anon

[livelovesimallways]

"Prayed Up"....Pt. 3 Cont.

Previous/Next

Read more under the link.

Sean: "So since she has me blocked, I can't see her last location on this Life app. I don't see any purchases on the cards I gave her either."

Teeleah: "Okay...umm, what about her truck's GPS?"

Sean: "I don't have any way to connect to that from here."

Teeleah: "Actually, you do. Lamborghini has location services. There's even an app."

Sean: "Wow...Never knew that was a thing. Kind of glad she didn't know either, otherwise I would've been..." *feels her death stare* "Aight so it's taking a sec to verify...It says the car is...Hmm."

Teeleah: "Hmm?? What does it say?"

Sean: "It says her truck's in front of your place. Orchard Ct. in Nova Park right?"

Teeleah: "Yeah." *very confused*

Moses: "See...You can breathe now. At least we know she's safe. "

Teeleah: "True.." *smiling* "Let me go before she leaves. Are you coming Mo?"

Moses: "Nah, y'all need space. Plus, Sean can use the company." *gives him the death stare too*

20 Minutes Later.....

"You had me worried as hell." *gives her a hug*

"I'm sorry girl. I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn't want to dump on you but now..."

"It's okay, let's go inside."

"Damn, I forgot how nice it was in here. I feel horrible for poppin up on you like this. Y'all just got back from your honeymoon. I would've bought a charger and called, but I wasn't thinking straight."

"Dana..." *puts her hand on her shoulder* "It's okay. Trust me. I wasn't home because we were out looking for you. You think imma sit back after some shit like this and be fine without reaching you for days? Shit, I was tempted to go to the police."

"Girl, really??" *both laughing* "I would do the same though. We're a little overprotective."

"Just a little." *smiling* "So where did you end up going?"

"A hotel. Nothing fancy, just the closest one I could find. I was a mess Leah. A fuckin mess. You would think it was all over Sean, but he takes up maybe one percent. That man has always been for the streets and I should've left a long time ago. Never in my life did I think Deanna would do some shit like this. And for years??" *starts crying*

"Shit...This is exactly how I was in that room." *wipes her tears* "Sleep didn't help. I woke up feeling worse and today it got to a level that scared me. I felt like there was no point anymore. Since our parents died, it's been me and her against everything. For fifteen years, Leah, she's been my priority. Legally, she is my daughter. She used to call me Mama-Sis when she was little and started back after we lost them. I thought we had this special bond, but it's clear she gives zero fucks." *still crying*

"The first thing I want you to do is breathe." *taking a page out of Moses' book* "I know it's overwhelming right now, but trust me, you will feel better with time. There's always a point to living, Dana, even if you can't see it yet. If you want, I can give you the information to my therapist's office."

"Never been to one but I'm sure it won't hurt. Thank you."

"Of course. And as far as Deanna goes, try not to focus on why and how she could do what she did. She and Sean don't matter at this point. It's about you finding peace and a new meaning to your life." *holds her hand* "Now another thing...You're not going back to that hotel. We have plenty of room and a huge guest room."

*hesitant* "Thank you, but it wouldn't feel right. Y'all are newlyweds, I can't interrupt that."

"Girl, please. We're good, trust me. I already talked to Mo about it and he was on board. I'm not taking no for an answer, Dana."

"Okay, fine. I promise it won't be long." *smiling* "Thank you, friend, for everything."

"You're very welcome, friend, that's what I'm here for."

To Be Continued......

#black simblr #black sims #sims 3 story #teeleah #moses #dana #sean #deanna #IYLIML #the weekend #tw: mental health

[mariacallous]

The core things I would and do tell anyone/everyone:

-Genuinely the best advice I have is to practice and try it as much as you feel able to - I've surprised myself with how often I'll be trying eyeshadow or lipstick randomly (it's a nice distraction and creative outlet when work or whatever gets to be too much and you need to step away real quick or focus on something else and take a break) and seeing what happens, and when it's an experiment like that I'm not as worried about perfect results or making a mess of myself (as if I'm not ridiculous and messy to begin with).

-I am not very technical or dexterous with my makeup application, and so I keep that in mind when figuring out what I want to do.

-Decide what your comfort area is, what your grey zone is, and what you think would be red line(s)/no-go areas, as well as what your ideal goal is and what you'd settle for. For me I made the decision to not bother with contouring my face - it's round/oval(ish) and not worth the trouble involved for the most part and more work than I care to do to myself. So I apply foundation and concealer when needed and otherwise decided that lips and eyes are where I want to put the most focus and attention. Eyeliner and mascara are my grey/uncertain zone is and I've avoided doing it for the most part so it's one of the areas I'm the weakest.

-Situation, situation, situation - decide which looks and which colors you're comfortable with/want to use for each situation. For most work looks the boldest I'm (currently) doing is a red lip (or a mauve lip) and maybe a neutral/tan eyeshadow (if even that). Figure out what your color range and specific items are for certain looks and events and keep those on hand/in mind so that you're more comfortable going right into the makeup and not holding back and spending time trying to decide what you're going to do.

-Wipes. Keep wipes, makeup or baby, nearby at all times. For more precise damage control, wrap the wipe around your index finger (or whichever finger you think offers you the best control and movement) before going to clean up the error (in my case, it's usually lipstick overdrawn or smudged, or excess/messy eyeshadow).

-What do you like and enjoy? That should be the main, if not *the* main, consideration when you're doing makeup. I fundamentally believe that makeup is meant to enhance and be enjoyed - by others maybe but mostly by me. If you're not having fun or don't like something, then you don't need to do or use it. For the longest time I avoided most red lipstick shades because, even though I loved it, someone made it uncomfortable for me to wear them and made me feel embarrassed about it, and also made somewhat unfriendly/derogatory remarks. Once I was away from them and experimenting again and redetermining what I liked and what I thought looked good on me, I re-embraced the red.

-Expanding on the previous point, don't be afraid to pick and choose certain looks or certain elements or trends if you like them, but always make sure that you're being yourself and remembering what you like and what you want.

(Also, there's nothing wrong with a no makeup look - as in not wearing any makeup. (if you want to do the "no makeup makeup" look where you're wearing makeup but in a way so that it looks like you're not, it's whatever but personally that's a lot of work for that end result and I don't think it's fun or looks all that good tbh) We're going to go through probably most of our lives with little to no makeup on anyway.)

[the-parentheticals]

"it can't be helped," from the scum who can't be helped

Warnings: mugging, brief thoughts about s/a but none actually happens

Summary: Koemi doesn't want to see her brother again. She never has. She never will.

Note: For @badthingshappenbingo, Banished / Cringetober day 15, song lyrics. Yes, this is based on The Purge March.

read on ao3

It's almost a blessing when Kiyoshi Nishimoto disappears the week before his eighteenth birthday.

She doesn't like him. She hasn't liked him in years. She hasn't liked anyone in this household for years, really, except for perhaps the goldfish.

Koemi's not an idiot. She knows what he was doing, despite their parents' best attempts to pretend otherwise. The jewelry that isn't their mother's, the late nights sneaking in, the discreet calls. Honestly, it's better that he left instead of disgracing their family that way when it inevitably came out.

"Good morning, everyone! It's the beginning of another wonderful day!"

Their parents had freaked out. Spewed the vulgarity that they had always warned her against. Her brother had it coming. She hoped he was dead.

"I know that this situation is a tragedy, but we have to stay strong for my dear brother's sake!"

Koemi doesn't quite believe in this one, but it's her duty to say the words anyway.

"We can't let our sadness control us! We have to move on and always remember him!"

As a terrible example, that is.

Her brother does not deserve her forgiveness. She knows what he was really like--not the hero he thought he was, not the good kid her parents thought he was. No, he was nothing less than scum.

---

Three years later, she's seventeen, and she's only further confirmed her belief that everyone else in this family was rotten.

It's not that Kiyoshi's disappearance had done her any favours when starting at high school. They mostly just thought she was weird. Or cursed.

That's the only reason she's walking home alone this late at night. The only one.

She doesn't even move when she feels the knife against her neck. She's grown up to be very pretty, if she says so herself, and she's not even surprised someone's taken an interest.

"You know the drill." The voice is deep and raspy, and she freezes for just a moment. It's a put-on. "Your wallet."

"Or what?"

The knife digs slightly deeper into her skin as answer. Not enough to draw blood, just to make a point.

"As if you could ever lay a finger on your little sister."

The knife pulls a bit, just long enough for a strand of blonde hair to be snipped off. It lies flat against her white sweater for just a moment, before he jerks his arm away and the strand falls to the ground.

She doesn't care for the face of the person in front of her very much, but she supposes she can't stare at her personal belongings forever.

"We're not siblings anymore."

"Of course we are. Unless you kill me now, I suppose, but like I said." She gives a self-assured smile. "You won't."

Kiyoshi looks at her with a characteristic coldness. He's a bit taller now, or maybe it's just his shoes. Not that it really makes a difference, with how short she always has been.

His clothes are surprisingly put-together for someone who's been living who-knows-where. He's still got his suit jacket, vest, and yellow shirt, dirty in a way that their parents would have hated but barely pings on her radar. His hair is messier and covers his right eye just enough that...oh.

"How is your eye?" Koemi smiles. If he won't talk, she'll just have to keep talking. "I suppose whoever caused it is dead now?"

"Why is that your first assumption?"

"I know you, that's why." She clasps her hands together and gives a little hum. He doesn't bother her anymore. Not the way anyone else would. "Pity they didn't take out both."

"My turn to ask the questions. How are our parents, then? Still holding you back?

"You don't know what they've done in three years. For all you know, they've become just like you, and my life's a living hell."

Kiyoshi raises an eyebrow in the way that suggests that he thinks his sister is an utter idiot but doesn't want to admit it just yet.

"They've been doing this for longer than we were alive. You were already in a living hell. But you can--"

"Pity they didn't take out your tongue too." Koemi's smile does not waver, 

Kiyoshi ignores her. "You think your rules will keep you safe from the rest of this world. Our parents, double standards..."

"It's worked, hasn't it?"

"You're just as rotten as the rest of us."

"How?"

"You think I'm scum, don't you?"

Koemi nods.

"Then do something about it."

"I could never." Koemi wrenches her arm away. In another universe, it would actually hurt. "That's the difference between us, brother dear."

"I don't make pitiful excuses for doing what has to be done?"

"I don't make people obey my every whim and call it freedom."

"I don't make them do that. I save them from themselves, Ko. I get them away from all the pain in their lives that results from them holding back against those that really want to hurt them."

"You destroy them from the inside. You make them do all the worst excesses we have good reasons for not doing. You make people live according to your beliefs. You're the worst one here, and you don't even know it. You're doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, categorically, emphatically--" Koemi has to stop, because her face is red, and Mother, Father, would never have believed her if she had said it that way. She breathes in. Breathes out. Next--

"I'm sorry for leaving you with them."

She blinks. It's not true. That's definitely not something Kiyoshi would ever have said.  Her disbelief has to show on her face.

"I am. They shouldn't have been able to influence anyone like that, especially not you."

"You're sorry? I don't care!"

"I know."

"Remember my screams? My cries? My apologies?"

"I know."

"Don't come back to the house. You left me with them. This should be easy for you." She crosses her arms and leans against a lamp post. "And don't even try following me. I'll know."

"You won't. And I won't."

#badthingshappenbingo #cringetober #pari writes real fics #pari's ocs #my stuff

[rhaenyras]

I have been with my boyfriend for four years. We have been intending to get married, buy a house and start a family, but recently I have been having doubts. He is from a Catholic family (I am not) and while he is not strict, his mother is quite devout. She’s putting pressure on us to marry because she doesn’t agree with us living together. I am nervous of what sort of daughter-in-law and wife she expects me to be. Along with this, my partner has a sketchy employment history and I am the main breadwinner, though I really hate my job. Previously I was in a relationship for the same length of time, with a hardworking, successful man, whom I left. My only other long-term relationship also ended after four years. While that was a destructive relationship, and I have never regretted leaving, I am wondering if I have a pattern of getting cold feet. Now I am 32, I really want to have children soon, and I love my boyfriend. But I am worried that I’m resigning myself to a life of regret, mediocrity, disappointment and compromise if I stay with him.

lol your mother-in-law got some audacity to expect 1000% catholic modesty and spotless purity from you while her own son is not contributing much in terms of monthly income (and i suppose he's not making up for it by helping around the house with chores either but correct me if I'm wrong, please). she should stop sticking her nose in your business. I'm serious, don't stand for it. instead of telling you how you should meet her expectations, maybe she should make such observations about her own son.

i always say that i never would have married my husband if we hadn't moved out of the country and left his mother behind lol my dealbreaker with him was having his old fashioned catholic mother constantly up in my business ready to criticize me and he knew how i hated it so i guess he found a way to make it work for us eventually.

but apart from obnoxious nosy mothers in law... i have this theory that i am a little scared to share out loud but I'll tell you so you can see if it resonates with you somehow: most women kinda settle for a man who's beneath them at some point in their life. even the most loving smartest man still won't hold a candle to our own rich inner lives, passionate souls and vivacious intelligence. why we do that, is a very complex issue with lots of aspects to break down.

let's say we're more pressured to seek out and idealize romantic love and its monogamous socially acceptable version aka marriage with subsequent childbearing since the very early stages of our cognitive development when biases and rational patterns are still forming in our brains. financially, we're also less likely to be making our own living, so we gotta ultimately rely on a man to make ends meet. thankfully that's not your case, though.

it seems that every woman will think that she was destined for something greater sooner or later but then she was somehow steered onto a safer underwhelming more conventional path of life (where marrying a man and having his children is strangely always a constant) by the circumstances in her life that she couldn't change. it's sad but it's secondhand news. and yeah, i might be happily married now, but i am very disillusioned about the whole thing. i know that women are intentionally stripped of their true potential to actually make things happen and change the status quo because otherwise we'd be unstoppable and the world would lose its chief care providers/broodmares/unpaid labourers.

in case it wasn't already clear ... i don't think you should go through with the wedding just yet. put if off a bit, see if you feel the same in a while. before even thinking about children, you gotta make sure your future husband will consistently contribute to the household's finances and also that he knows how to tell his mother to shut up, or married life will only be a long frustrating endless nightmare. and if he doesn't fit the bill for you, then have no qualms over dumping him and finding a new one. good luck 🙏🏻

#ask #anon #anonymous

[xbadgerbearx]

bird

word count: 1.6k

Can’t Sleep: [4] … [6]

Not too long later, Gaius Grieves revealed himself. Your little trio watched as Robert discreetly put a gun to his back and started talking. You weren't close enough to decipher what he said. Once he started moving your team got the cue to follow. However, everyone stopped in their tracks once soldiers were spotted.

"I thought Milton was supposed to be our lookout," you muttered as the soldiers started speaking Spanish to the patrons in the club.

As the soldiers got more aggressive in their search for Americans, Robert turned to Cleo.

"All right," Robert motioned to Grieves. "Take him out through the back, all right? Find my coordinates in the pad and meet me in half an hour," he ordered while handing Abner a gun.

"What?"

"Hey, did you hear what I said?"

"Yes, but-"

"Go."

Cleo hesitated before grabbing Grieves.

"Let's go."

As you were leading your small group to the back entrance, you heard Robert yell out, "Hey, calm down! There's no need to disturb everyone's night."

You could faintly hear Flag speak up as you found a door marked Solo Empleados.

"This way."

Unfortunately the door you opened was the dressing room for the dancers. You heard Abner say, "Oh, God," before a stumbling sound and a gun being handled. You briefly looked back to see Abner holding Grieves at gun pointing and ordering him to "Move it!"

Damn. That was a little hot.

Pushing your way through the dancers and out the door, you let out a small gasp at the soldier standing in front of you. Cleo, ever the quick thinker, used her device to have a rat crawl down his throat.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side."

You eventually made your way outside in an alley. Milton jogged over once he caught sight of you four.

"Your equipment manipulates animal behavior, clever," Grieves spoke out. "I'm working on something similar with humans."

"Be quiet, please."

"You are perceivably panicked. I'm guessing that you are not the alphas of this battalion."

"Do you want a dozen angry rodents crawling up your ass?" Cleo snapped.

"My answer might not be what you expect."

"Disgusting," you commented as Abner ushered Grieves to move.

You quickly made your way into the van. Milton took the driver's seat, Abner sat in the middle across from Grieves who still had a gun pointed at him, and you and Cleo took a seat in the back by Nanaue.

"Hello, friends!"

"Hi, yes, hello to you too, Nanaue," you said before pointing at Grieves. "Nom nom this man if I give the word."

"Okay!"

Cleo rummaged through DuBois bag before handing you the coordinate pad he spoke of earlier. Was that a picture of his daughter you saw? You couldn't get a good look since Cleo zipped up the bag. Coordinates in hand, you made your way back up the front to give Milton directions.

"Oh ho ho, what's this?" Grieves smuggly declared. You were too busy paying attention to the road to hear him.

"What's what?"

"I saw that little look you gave to your teammate."

"There was no look," Abner denied.

"Ah, but there was. How are you going to pretend you weren't just looking at their ass as they passed? You seem to have a school boy crush."

"Abner has a crush?" Cleo entered the conversation.

"No!"

Grieves laughed before answering Cleo. "You seem to have forgotten that I study people for a living, and I am very good at my job."

"Pet pet and Polky?" Nanaue piped up from the back.

"No! No Pet pet and Polky," Abner said with exasperation. However, upon looking at you and seeing how captivating you looked under the flashing lights of the street lamps, he followed it up with defeated, "Okay, maybe Pet pet and Polky."

"Dios mío!" Cleo exclaimed before she was hurriedly shushed. They both looked over to see if you heard.

"Okay, now take a right onto this street."

You did not.

"I'm happy for you, Abner."

"You seem to have forgotten you are on a mission. This isn't some little girl's slumber party."

Cleo slapped Grieves over the back of the head as Abner seemed to remember that he had a gun in his hand.

"Be quiet."

"Is- is that them?"

The team all looked at you as they looked out the window. Following your gaze, it landed on an upside down armored vehicle in a ditch.

"Of course it is, who else would be dumb enough," you sighed.

Milton slowly approached the area and parked the van. As soon as it stopped you jumped out to see if they were still there. Turns out you didn't have to wait long; the back door unlocked to reveal your three teammates scuffed but otherwise unharmed.

You wouldn't admit it but you felt relieved.

"All right," Robert grunted. "Let's go to Jotunheim."

"Nope. There's somethin' we gotta take care of first."

"What?"

Rick sighed out, "As much as it pains me to say, we gotta get Harley Quinn."

"Harley who?"

"Quinn. She was on Team 1 with me. Now that I know where she is, we gotta go get her."

"Fuck no."

"Come on, man." They made their way back into the van after you. "She's a valuable asset."

"I said no."

"Don't make me get Waller into this."

Robert thought for a moment. "Fuck, fine, alright. We'll go get 'er."

Everyone eventually got seated. This time you actually sat in a seat since you weren't planning on taking an impromptu nap—although that did sound nice. Flag filled Milton out on the details and directed him on where to go as you all got cozy. Robert and Chris were going at it again, Cleo was asleep, Nanaue was trying to get you to sit in his lap, and Abner was watching in amusement.

"No."

"Yes."

"I said no."

"Pet pet?"

"No, Nanaue."

Nanaue put on his best pout, "Please?"

You should not have turned around to look at him. Sighing, you stood up and made your way over to him.

"Hahaha!" He sounded like a giddy kid in a candy store. He gently picked you up and placed you on his lap. Immediately he started petting you again and hummed. Your legs were cramped and you felt like you were about to fall off his lap. Without saying anything, you sprawled your legs across Abner's lap. He just looked at you with a smile before adjusting himself to accommodate you. Resting his arms over your legs, he continued looking out the window.

"How fascinating."

"Hmm?" You looked at Grieves.

"You don't happen to also control animal behavior, do you?"

"Why would I tell you that?"

"Fair."

You heard a loud sigh from Chris. "Is this going to become a regular occurance?"

"What, you jealous? I'm calling it now, if we have another night during this mission I'm using him as my cuddle buddy."

"Whatever."

Although you said you wouldn't, you were almost asleep before Robert made the call for everyone to gear up. While everyone was rushing to get their gear on, you just yawned and leaned over to handcuff Grieves to a seat before making yourself at home on Nanaue again. You weren't exactly trained to fight with weapons, although you did grab a nearby combat knife to carry.

"You gotta be kiddin' me. You're gonna risk the entire mission for a mental defective dressed as a court jester."

"This is coming from a guy that wears a toilet seat on his head."

"We don't leave our own behind," Rick reminded.

"You're okay with this?"

"No, but I've been around Flag when he's got a rag in his mouth. Best not to tug it."

"Motherfucker!"

Just as everyone seemed almost ready, you hopped off Nanaue and gently nudged Cleo.

"Come on, gotta wake up."

"All right, let's go."

Everyone—besides Grieves—exited the vehicle before Flag announced his plan.

"All right, we'll enter through the third floor, go to the inner staircase, and then down to the cellar where they usually keep their detainees. Hopefully, Harley's still alive."

Still butthurt about what Robert said, Chris stubbornly muttered, "It's not a toilet seat, it's a beacon of freedom!"

Everyone got into position; Peacemaker somehow scaled a building to get a vantage point, Abner was down the street looking for traffic, Rick and Robert were beside one of the walls ready to climb to the third floor, you turned into a bird (much to the amazement of your team) so you could quickly enter the window Robert would open, and Nanaue—who forgot you turned into a bird—stared at you.

"Ratatouille, what do you got?"

"Third floor hallway's clear. Abner?"

"There doesn't seem to be any incoming traffic."

"Bird."

"Nanaue, that's Mimic you meathead- and stay off the comm!"

"Colonel, I got a clean shot on the only one in the office. Just give the word."

"Fire on three, two..."

"What're you guys doing?"

Rick looked at Harley, then DuBois, then back to Harley. "I... you- we're here to save you."

"You were gonna... save me?" Harley visibly looked touched.

"It was a really good plan, too."

"Well I can go back inside and you can still do it."

"That's patronizing," Bloodsport commented.

You saw Harley drag a big stick thing over to Flag and hug him.

"Uh, what's with the javelin?"

"I'm waiting for God to tell me."

"Jesus Christ..."

"Yeah, or Him. Or any of them, really."

You and Nanaue watched as Harley and Bloodsport had an awkward introduction.

"Never mind everyone, Harley is secure."

"What?"

"Meet me in the van so we can leave as quickly as possible."

Sighing, you morphed back into your original form. Nanaue made an audible gasp as he saw you sitting on the railing.

"Pet pet?

"Yes, Nanaue, it's me, Pet pet."

King Shark laughed as he started petting you immediately. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you swatted his hand away and motioned for him to follow you.

#the suicide squad (2021) #suicidesquad #dcu fanfic #polka dot man #bloodsport #peacemaker #ratcatcher ii #ratcatcher 2 #harley quinn #rick flag #abner krill #abner krill x reader #polka dot man x reader #cleo cazo #robert dubois #christopher smith #starro #reader #reader insert #Can’t Sleep

[mimisempai]

The evidences of our love are everywhere

Summary:

Thor is worried about his little brother's happiness and spies on Loki and Mobius in a more or less subtle way.

Tumblr request : Thor spying on Loki and Mobius.

As usual I got carried away and added most of my favorite tropes :p

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33254275

1643 words - Rating G

"I know it, that you are watching us Thor."

Thor wanted to protest at first, but even though he hadn't known Mobius long, he knew the man was perceptive and there was no point in trying to lie to him.

He sighed, "I admit it."

"I suspect you have no malicious intent," Mobius said kindly, "but I would like to know why."

Thor thought about what he would say in response.

He could see that his little brother was happy. That he had changed, or rather that he had become the best version of himself.

And this was partly thanks to Mobius, but he needed to see it with his own eyes. In their daily lives. So he had been watching for every moment he could spy on them during their stay in Asgard.

**********

One evening, he had overheard a scene he never thought he would see.

Mobius with a brush in his hand was sitting behind Loki and asked him softly, "Should I start brushing your hair?"

Loki nodded and closed his eyes, as if he already knew he was going to like it. Like it had become something familiar.

Mobius started at the bottom, taking care not to pull, then slowly worked his way up. After a while, Mobius' fingers replaced the brush and it was clear that Loki was enjoying it. He did not startle or protest. He turned his back to someone and let them touch him. This showed how much he trusted Mobius.

Not so long ago, such contact would have been unimaginable. If it was anyone else but Mobius, Thor thought, Loki would never have allowed it.

Thor could hardly tear himself away from the scene since he was so fascinated.

Mobius stopped and his hands slid over Loki's shoulders and Loki held his head back with a gentle smile on his face. Mobius leaned over and kissed him gently.

Thor thought it was time for him to retire.

**********

" Tell me candidly, is there anything in me, except my ugliness, which displeases you? Do you object to my birth, my temper, my manners?”

“No, truly,” replied the princess; “I like everything in you, except”—and she hesitated courteously—”except your appearance.”

Thor had just entered the living room of Loki and Mobius' suite and stopped in front of the incredible scene he had before his eyes.

Loki was lying on the couch, his head on Mobius' lap, Mobius had one hand in his hair and in the other hand a book that he was reading aloud.

Thor held his breath, because the two men had neither seen nor heard him.

Mobius continued reading.

“Then, madam, I need not lose my happiness; for if I have the gift of making clever whosoever I love best, you also are able to make the person you prefer as handsome as ever you please. Could you love me enough to do that?”

“I think I could,” said the princess, and her heart being greatly softened towards him, she wished that he might become the handsomest prince in all the world. No sooner had she done so than Riquet with the Tuft appeared in her eyes the most elegant young man she had ever seen.

Loki sneered, "Of course, to be happy, they both have to be beautiful and smart. I know it's a fairy tale and doesn't fit reality, but frankly, I'd never read that to my kids."

"Sweetheart," Mobius said softly while stroking Loki's hair soothingly before continuing, "Listen to the end, I think you'll enjoy it more."

Loki harrumphed, but remained silent as Mobius continued, " Some people have said that this was no fairy-gift, but that love created the change. They declare that the princess, when she thought over her lover’s perseverance, patience, good-humour, and discretion, and counted his numerous fine qualities of mind and disposition, saw no longer the deformity of his body or the plainness of his features. However this may be, it is certain that the princess married him; that either she retained her good sense, or he never felt the want of it; and he never again became ugly—or, at least, not in his wife’s eyes, so they both lived very happy until they died. Morality, all is beautiful in those whom we love, and those whom we love are witty and intelligent"

Loki turned on his back and looked at Mobius.

Thor stepped back into the doorway, he was no longer able to see but he heard Loki, "Mobius, it's kind of like the two of us in the end," he chuckled before continuing, "except that we're both princes. But what I mean is that you have seen beyond what I have shown the world."

Thor heard Mobius nod before answering, "And you, Loki, have opened my mind.  So there is nothing to stop us from living very happy until we die."

The only thing Thor heard again before walking away was his little brother's undoubtedly happy laughter.

**********

Thor had not often had the opportunity to see Loki in his Jotun form. He knew that even after all this time it was still an extremely sensitive subject for his brother, so he was surprised to see him like this, sitting on the balcony railing of their suite, looking at the sky.

He was about to join him, when Mobius appeared next to him bringing what appeared to be some refreshments.

When Loki was aware of Mobius' presence, he began to revert to his Aesir form. But Mobius protested, "Loki, you know you don't have to hide from me, Sweetheart. If you want to take on that appearance, I have no problem with it."

And as Loki returned to his Jotun appearance, Mobius put down the tray and approached him, gently touching his face, as if he was used to doing it, knowing that if he lingered too long, the cold sensation would be too much.

Loki said in a voice Thor didn't know, "Do you really not mind touching me while I'm like this?"

Mobius shook his head and replied, "No, the only downside is that I can't touch you or kiss you like I want to, but otherwise I have no problem with this shape. I told you before, I love you, I love everything about you and it's part of you so I love this form too."

Then Mobius sat Loki down on a small bench that was on the balcony, put a pillow on Loki's lap, and lay down next to him resting his head on the pillow then said softly, "And you see, even when you are in this form, it is possible for us to be close."

As he walked away, Thor thought to himself that he would not soon forget his brother's amazed expression.

**********

The next time, Thor had first heard just laughter, as he went to knock on the door of Mobius and Loki's suite.

"No, Mobius! Stop it! You're scratching! I don't want you to kiss me if it scratches like that!"Then Thor heard Mobius reply in a sulky voice, which was quite rare, "Loki..."

"No, no, no your itchy skin will not come in contact with my delicate skin!"

He heard Mobius cough before he replied, "Then would you please shave me?"

Then the two men seemed to be gone, and Thor couldn't help but be curious and slowly opened the door. The living room was empty, but Thor heard voices that seemed to come from a small adjoining room. He knew he shouldn't, but he peeked through the half-open door anyway.

Mobius was sitting with a towel over his shoulders, shaving cream on his cheeks and chin. Loki had rolled up his sleeves, and was holding a razor. He leaned over to Mobius, and with a serious look on his face asked, "Do you trust me?"

Mobius answered firmly, looking him straight in the eye, "Intimately." before stretching his chin forward and closing his eyes.

Thor once again baffled, discreetly turned back and left their suite.

**********

"I'm sorry Mobius. Of course I had no malicious intent. I guess I just wanted to make sure that Loki was happy. It was something I didn't expect to see. I think I wanted to see it for myself, I'm sorry I was kind of a stalker, I-"

Mobius stopped him by putting a hand on his forearm, "It's okay Thor, you don't have to justify yourself. I know Loki's life, his whole life, so I understand perfectly well the need to reassure you, but I can promise you one thing, that I will always do everything to make him happy. That will always be my priority. Loki is the only family I have so I will always take care of him."

Thor nodded visibly moved as a voice echoed behind him, "You see, brother you don't have to worry. My happiness is truly real."

As if to prove what he had just said was true, Loki approached Mobius and put his arm around his waist before kissing him on the cheek.

"This man Thor, is the person who allowed me to change what I thought was my destiny, he saw the good in me, and in doing so I finally believed that I was capable of doing good."

Thor answered softly, "I always knew you were capable of doing good, little brother, but I'm glad you believe it now too."

Then he stepped forward and took the two men in a strong embrace before stepping back and adding, "Mobius, there was only one thing that was wrong with everything you told me before."

Mobius and Loki looked at him in surprise.

Thor added with a gentle smile, "You said Loki was your only family, but that's not true, it's not true anymore. Welcome to the family. We are your family and you are ours now."

_________

Series of Oneshot : Together, for all time, always

Fairy Tale used : Riquet and the tuft, oft underrated or shallowly interpreted. Shaving scene, inspired by Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle shaving scene in CSI

As always, bear with me as it is not beta'd and english is not my native language I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless🥰

#Established Relationship #tooth rotting fluff #lokius #lokius fic #loki #mobius m mobius #thor #Loki/Mobius M. Mobius #loki x mobius #moki #wowki

[thorraborinn]

Some further thoughts on heathen organization

This is gonna be US- and Canada-centric. I dunno enough about how this works in other places to comment on the relevance.

I've been talking about how I think heathens should organize themselves in a way that reduces our dependence on top-down organizations, but I've been doing it reactively, in response to certain specific questions, and I've been neglecting to say something that hasn't pertained to those questions but is very relevant to a broader consideration of heathens and organization.

When I say "reduce our dependence" that is meant as an acknowledgement that we do depend, in degrees that vary by person and region, on orgs like the Troth. I critique these orgs, but so do many people within them, and that some people have decided to join them or not to join them does not necessarily point to a big difference between those people. I'm not calling for these orgs to be disbanded or dissolved, I'm calling on others to do the work that will make certain of their functions obsolete. If they're so inadequate, it follows that there must be better ways.

A decentralized, distributed network of heathen prison solidarity work is not only conceivable but kind of obvious, and it's not the Troth's fault that unaffiliated heathens haven't put in the work to creating one.

An open-source body of basic rituals, core lore familiarity standards, and trainings such as for clergy could be maintained by an independent, transparent organization. There could be several of these, corresponding to different philosophies. There could be rhizomatic lineages mapping the relations between these various projects. Again, someone has to do it, and if you haven't, don't blame the Troth.

If you've been holding out for a registered organization like Heathens Against Hate to endorse anti-racist tactics that are illegal or otherwise likely to be followed by repression then you surely aren't doing those things yourself or you'd know how little sense that makes. Is your vouch worth anything in your own local antifascist networks? Do your local non-heathens know to consult you on symbolism to check for dogwhistles and red flags? Are you a link in the chain that can get heathens to turn out to unannounced demos and events?

We could have all of this, but instead we have ten thousand proto-organizations in our heads, prototypes of everyone's model org that if only everyone would see that your way is the right one then heathenry would be great.

We could have backyard community gardens that are also vé and whose produce is used to contribute to public blótveizlur along with recovered food that would otherwise go to waste, which could be used to feed hungry people in public parks -- in most places this would be cost prohibitive for a registered org to get the necessary permits but a bunch of random unaffiliated people doing this would be protected by the first amendment.

We could have coalitions of kindreds united in making formal agreements with Indigenous nations to collectively take up certain agreed-upon support work, unencumbered by restrictions of maintaining our 501c3 or whatever status. We may not have earned the trust needed for others to recognize this but we know, internally among ourselves, that we are uniquely capable as a community of serving a role like this, because we're too superstitious to dare breaking an oath.

We could even find areas of productive cooperation between registered orgs like the Troth and unaffiliated affinity groups, using the resources of the former and the liquid mobility of the latter to accomplish things that neither could do alone.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I live in a densely-populated area and these things aren't available to most people, but my ideas are shaped by my environment and so should yours be. I don't know what's appropriate for where you live, but you can figure it out. You're too creative to sit around waiting to have the answer handed to you.

#heathenry

[marchioness-caprina]

Mentor Day

Note : In This AU, Hawks is adopted by the todoroki Family, enji is a good dad and dabi is not a villain. And Todoroki's Mom is a Hero.

Pairings : Jealous! Hawks x Reader

Writing style: 3rd Person

Warning : Cussing

Word count : 3623

3rd Person's POV

" I'm so excited for Today! I can't wait to meet your Mentors! " Kirishima yelled with enthusiasm punching the air.

Everyone was gathered around Ground Beta for the sole reason that the Head of Agencies they were currently interning in were coming over to discuss the growth of the students, also because they chose U.A as the meeting Venue knowing that it's one of the places in Japan that is Highly guarded and secured and the School was Near the City so if anything were to happen they could always get there in a jeepy. There was another Reason but it wasn't disclosed to any of the students and nobody questioned it.

" Shut Up shitty Hair! " Bakugou snarled smacking Kirishima who seemed to be unaffected by Bakugou's ' affection ' towards him.

" Hey aren't You and Tokoyami Under Hawks's? The number 2 Pro Hero!? " Mina pointed out and suddenly everyone's attention was now settled on Y/n and Tokoyami.

Tokoyami had an unreadable expression but his face mostly showed that he was awkward and uncomfortable with the Topic. Not because of His Mentor... It's because of His Mentor's Interest.

Y/n on the other hand looked annoyed pissed, it was very obvious that neither of the two wanted to talk about it because of the lack of answer and their current expressions.

" So... What's it Like to be Under Pro Hero Hawks? " Momo began to press deeper onto the subject and was oblivious to her two classmate's look of disapproval. And it seems like she wasn't the only curious one.

" Well? " Jiro raised a brow when they didn't hear an answer. The two were very hesitant until y/n finally spoke up.

" Tokoyami-kun would I be breaking the law if I talk shit about him? "

" Eeehhhh!? " Everyone was confused as to why the sudden change of their classmate's personality took shift at a questionable rate.

" Technically there's no law about that and since he's not here to hear it... It's fine " Tokoyami answered with a straight face and his response got everyone questioning their experience even more.

" What the hell happened to you two while you were there? " Denki asked staring at the two. Tokoyami was hesitant but y/n just looked pissed and angry .

She showed irritation that could match Bakugou's.

" That's not something you should be asking me... You should be asking y/n that... I just had the unfortunate privilege to witness... That.... And I know a very dark secret I wish to unlearn " Tokoyami muttered at Everyone was fidgeting with curiosity while staring at y/n who looked like she was about to explode any minute now.

" Well if you Must know. On the first week I had to endure a bunch of whiny one night stand's Drama and Rage while trying to get them to go fuck themselves and trust me... Persuading a bunch of love struck delusional hoes to go home and keep silent for the rest of their lives isn't a very charming job. I had to suck in every single cheesy pick up lines that'll have anyone gagging, I had to endure being dragged around through the wonderful 'skies' like a ragdoll in the most unfortunate hour and I had to deal with Birdman's constant fuckery every single day so yeah... It wasn't that bad.... It was terrible. " Y/n's tone was forcefully dragged out and polite but her hostile expression got everyone shuddering.

Yes, Hawks was a flirt and he'd flirt with her with every chance he got, much to y/n's dismay. But knowing Hawks's reputation she brushed it off like it was one of his most common habits and got used to ignoring him, he was nice though and she felt like a sheltered child. Hawks never let's her go out to patrol on her own unless it's with Him and only Him. He constantly brings her gifts and snacks to which she is thankful and greatly flattered but she didn't like hearing Rumors about her with the Pro Hero himself. Overall she was thankful that she was being treated well but she didn't appreciate the special treatment.

Tokoyami on the other hand knew of his Mentor's love and affection for his Classmate, if he knew any better he found out that Hawks had imprinted on y/n like a new born chick. The reason Tokoyami knew that was because of the gifts, the flirting, Hawks's constant need to be around y/n, His possessiveness and Don't even get Tokoyami started on How much Hawks talks about y/n during patrol. Hell, Even when Hawks is literally stepping on a Villain's Face he'd still talk about How ' Perfect she was ' . At most of all, his Classmate was very unaware of Hawks's actual feelings and he's afraid he couldn't blame her simply because of Hawks's reputation as a 'playboy'.

" Wow.... I didn't think it would be like that.... Hawks's still pretty cool though " Sero muttered and that left y/n gawking at him because the least they could do was sympathize with her!.

" No shit " She grumbled sarcastically and she felt two hands grab hold of her shoulder behind her and speaking of the Devil, Hawks was already here.

" Hey there chicken nugget, what are you kids talking about? " Hawks asked leaning down , resting his chin on y/n's shoulder while both of his hands clamped down on each side of her shoulder blades protectively.

" Nothing Hawks, we were Talking about Nothing " Y/n who was already immune to the Touchiness of the male behind her was nonchalant on her reply and she sounded bored but her expression clearly showed ' Oh No, Not this Shit Again ' .

" Oh really? Well ok then baby bird but I have to say You look Perfect little dove but that is to be expected by my Epitome of beauty " Hawks grinned rubbing his cheeks against y/n's own in a very affectionate manner.

" Yeah, Yeah. Get off me Birdman you're getting that irritating Chicken stench on me " Y/n grumbled pushing him away from her to which she was successful with.

" Aww~ But you felt so soft " Hawks whined in an almost childish way.

Everyone was witnessing the very thing Tokoyami dreaded and they were choking on their own spit after seeing the interaction between the two.

They and so many questions yet so little answer and they knew they couldn't just bombard y/n with questions, not when Hawks was around.

" Uhh... You two seem.. Close" Denki commented to where he earned a proud grin from Hawks.

" No we're Not. He's just being A flirt, you'll Get used to it " Y/n snickered rolling her eyes at Hawks who was trying to hug her.

" You should have heard How much He talks about her at Home... He's like a broken Radio. Y/n this and that " Todoroki snorted and his comment got everyone gaping.

It didn't look that way to everyone else, it was clear that the Pro Hero liked her if throwing himself around her wasn't enough, the look in his eyes definitely spoke otherwise.

" So this is the little Lassy Hawks have been talking about? " Fatgum along with the rest of the pro Heroes Were slowly gathering towards them.

" This is Her? She's adorable in person . Keigo Never stops talking about her at home" Another voice came from a woman with white hair, and is almost identical to Shoto.

" .... Hah! You should hear what he has to say when he's asleep " Dabi murmured with a laugh.

" .... You Talk about me? " Y/n asked staring at Hawks who was nodding his head, a smirk plastered on his face.

" Ewww, Stop that. It's annoying and creepy " Y/n sighed shoving Hawks away.

" Isn't she lovely? " Rei mumbled a small chuckle escaping her lips as Dabi stared at her in bewilderment .

" So you're not gonna question their age gap?..... Really mom? " Dabi snorted and enji stood behind him, patting his back.

" You know how your mother is " Enji muttered staring down at his son.

" You have a point.... "

____________________

By now everyone was gathered around, some of them chatting with their mentors and some were meeting their classmate's other mentors.

Rei, Enji and Dabi were intently observing Keigo who looked so close to snapping, sure his face looked playful and relaxed but they knew him well enough to know that it was Keigo's facade.

On the other side was Y/n and Hawks talking to Fat gum, well it was only y/n showing enthusiasm about their conversation, Hawks had never left her side the whole time. Always trailing behind her like a lost puppy.

" That's really cool! I heard from Kirishima that you have two Forms? " Y/n's eyes gleamed with curiosity.

" Why yes little lady " Fat gum answered as he nervously glanced at Hawks. He could feel the raging intensity of Hawks's Jealousy radiating brighter than the sun's ray. To which y/n was oblivious of.

" Ya know buddy, you really have nothing to worry about when it's me " Fat gum stated his words directed towards Hawks who let out a sigh and gave him a genuine smile for once.

" Sorry, I couldn't help it when it comes to my little dove " Hawks chuckled slinging his arm around her shoulder and y/n immediately reacted by shoving his arm away without even glancing at him.

" Stop talking about me like I'm not here " Y/n muttered to which Hawks replied by doing it again and y/n shoved his arm again.

Fat gum was both entertained and a bit awkward with the situation until he spotted his side kick. Tamaki whom he had kindly asked to pick up something for him

" Anyways! That's enough you two, I'd like you to meet Tamaki Amajiki. He's my sidekick " Fat gum proudly introduced Tamaki who froze in his spot and began trembling nervously.

" Oh wow! I've heard so much about him! Our class was introduced to him before! But I never got to see his face clearly because he had his face on the wall the whole time! Let's start all over again. Hey I'm y/n l/n! Nice to meet you senpai... For the second time " Y/n grinned putting her hand out to shake his.

Tamaki who was nervous and flattered that someone remembered him shakily reached out his hand to shake hers but a look of pure shock flashed through his face when Another hand met his.

" Nice to meet you Buddy " Hawks grinned in an odd and threatening manner squeezing poor Tamaki's hand .

" U-u-uhh" Tamaki stuttered at y/n was annoyed at Hawks's actions.

" Hey! I was the-- you know what? Never mind. Anyway, senpai I heard stories about you from Kirishima-kun! And I think you're really cool! And you're cuter up close! " Y/n tried easing the nervous senior with compliments in order to atone the actions of Hawks. But Hawks took it in a different way.

Tamaki flushed red and Hawks let go of his hand with disdain, his eyes having a deadly glint and his smirk almost looked threatening and sadistic.

Fat gum who witnessed the scene knew he fucked up by calling Tamaki over, the Todoroki family were astonished to see how reactive Hawks could be when y/n was involved. At home he was really hard to read and when they thought they knew him Hawks suddenly surprises everyone by proving them wrong. But now his expression looks so raw and unmasked.

" Tsk, He doesn't Look much to Me " Hawks suddenly spat out in an irritated tone.

Y/n elbowed him after seeing Tamaki's expression.

" He doesn't mean that! He's just really insensitive... Aren't you Hawks? " Y/n glared at the man beside her and he scoffed looking away.

" You're actually really powerful Senpai! Trust me! Kirishima talks about you all the time it's adorable seeing him look up to someone who's equally as cute as Kirishima " Y/n tried covering the damage done by Hawks and Tamaki was conflicted. He didn't know who to believe anymore.

Another scoff was heard from Hawks and before he could make another comment y/n stepped on his feet making him wince.

" Ouch! " He grumbled looking down at y/n who was glaring at him threateningly.

Jealousy bubbled at the very core of Hawks, She called two men cute at the same time and she dared to do it in front of him! He praised men who aren't him. Sure they aren't official but isn't it clear that he was showing how much he could give her? He knows he's enough but it seems like his little dove was very dense. It's starting to irritate him. He didn't feel good inside and he really wanted to punch a bitch. Was she taunting him? Oh she definitely was. Just look at how she looks at them , it really makes him want to rip off someone's throat.

His wings began to bristle and rose intimidatingly the edges becoming sharp and ridged, jealousy was getting the best of him.

With a rough Tug, he dragged her away forcefully even with the harsh protest from the girl.

" Hey! Ok this is getting out of hand! " Y/n pulled her hand away and Hawks looked back at her with a gaze that could kill.

" Stop taunting me Y/n. I'm not handling it well " Hawks muttered but his voice was rough and demanding. Y/n shivered at how her name rolled out of his tongue. He never uses that tone or calls out her name like that unless she's in deep shit.

" Clearly, you're mad about shit I didn't do so go cool off or something " Y/n shot back her expression was out of sheer anger and Hawks responded by spreading his wings and he flew off without another word.

With a sigh y/n went back to her classmates, she was unaware if the stares that were thrown her way.

" A lovers quarrel? " Mt. Lady mumbled.

" Definitely a Lovers Quarrel " Fat gum confirmed.

" Is no one seriously questioning the fact about their age gap? " Dabi stated and Rei gave him a cold glare. Even shoto was seen glaring at him from his group.

" Ok fine jeez " Dabi shrugged shoving his hands into his pockets.

_____________________

20 minutes had passes and Hawks was still gone, by that time everyone was gathered around, the class was seated on the ground as the Pros started giving out their opinions and deductions on hm their performance.

Rei began to feel worried about her adopted son that had raged out of the area. Enji tried reassuring her that Keigo was old enough to take care of himself.

And on cue Hawks had arrived holding a box in his hand, he looked calmer now and more relaxed.

" Keigo dear, are you ok? " Rei asked approaching the male.

" Yeah I'm fine... Just needed a little breather.... " He muttered, his eyes glued to y/n who was listening intently to the discussion. Rei noticed this and a smile graced her lips.

" Go get her dear " Rei encouraged the male and Hawks flashed her a grin.

" Oh I will. And I'm going to make sure you're going to have a daughter in law soon " Keigo smugly stated and Rei's eyes widened only to have the woman laugh.

Luckily the little lessons the Pro's were conducting had finished and everyone was free. As the students began to stand up. Y/n was pulled away immediately by Hawks. And once she was a few feet away a box was shoves towards her. She was caught off guard but managed to hold it in her hands as she lookes up at Hawks questioningly.

" What's this? " The girl asked suspiciously.

" You like that doughnut shop near our agency yeah? I was flying by and decided to buy some for you as a Sorry present.. I admit that I went overboard... " Hawks explained rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

" What!? I can't accept thi---"

" Eat it or Throw it. I'm giving it to you and that's final so do what you want with it... Although it would be a waste if you throw it away... I did go out of my way to buy that for you with my own money even though I was still angry---"

" Ok fine you don't have to guilt trip me! I'll accept it ok?.... But you did say I could do what I want with it so... I'm sharing this with everyone " Y/n smiled and Hawks snapped his head towards her his eyebrows furrowed.

" What? No. I bought that For YOU not for them " Hawks grumbled and the girl gave him a playful smirk.

" You did say it was mine and I could do whatever I want with it " She replied slyly and Hawks turned away stomping his way towards Rei, Enji and Dabi.

" Ooo... You got it Bad. She's denser than a--"

" Don't finish that Touya I swear " Hawks glared at Dabi who only laughed at his protectiveness.

" Just be patient Keigo, she is young and she probably still doesn't have Love on her mind yet " Rei assured Keigo while rubbing his back.

" Tsk. You better not give up. You're a Todoroki after all , and I already acknowledge her as a daughter in law... No crazy woman would stomp their feet on the number 2 hero like that " Enji nodded and Hawks should be delighted but his eyes were glued to the girl.

She was sharing the doughnuts he bought for her and the last straw came when she had fed Kirishima with a doughnut.

His fathers on his wings bristled and the ends began to sharpen, his eyes darkened at the sight and his teeth were gritted.

The girl took notice of this and approached him. God he was losing it. One wrong move and he might forget the fact that she's still a minor and just go straight up to breeding her if he had to. Fuck everything she does is turning him on . He is smitten.

" Hey what's wrong? "

" You have the guts to ask me ' What's wrong?' Oh why don't ask that to all the other guys you fed doughnuts to? The ones I bought for you! You're so oblivious it's starting to piss me off little dove. Was I not subtle enough? I fucking Like---mphf--" Hawks was cut off when a Doughnut was shoved in his mouth by the girl in front of him.

" Shut your worm Hole You stupid Birdman, I like you too ok? But please stop being so annoying. I'm also protecting your reputation as a Hero here. I can't have you all over the tabloids stating that you like a high schooler. You'd be seen as a pedophile you dumbass " The girl finished and was about to pull her hand away from his mouth when he grabbed hold of her wrist, he kissed her finger gingerly before licking and sucking on that very finger she held the doughnut .

She froze, Dabi Froze, Everyone froze.

" What the fuck? " Katsuki was she first to speak up.

" I second that ' What the fuck ' " Y/n muttered and Hawks gave her a look that could have her melt into a puddle. A smug and triumphant grin plastered on his face as his arms wrapped around her waist possessively.

" Awww~ it warms my heart to know that you're protecting me that way. For a moment there I thought you don't care and all that shitty jealousy was so worth it because you told me you like me in the end.... " Hawks cooed his face nearing hers and she immediately distanced her face away from him.

" Hawks get off me! " She yelled her face was flushed and he had the sudden urge to kiss her right now.

" You'll have to pay for making me jealous though. It was not a very pretty feeling " Hawks grinned before his wings spread open and gave one strong flap and he was already flying her away from the scene.

" Holy shit.... Dude " Denki muttered staring up at the sky.

" Enji! Do you think we should renovate the house? " Rei asked enthusiastically.

" I think we just might have to " Enji replied.

" .... I ship it though " Mina stated and the girls gave an unspoken agreement to her statement.

" So... How many chicks do you think they'll have? " Dabi asked and Rei smacked him.

" Touya! " Rei scolded making Dabi chuckle.

" Nah it's too early... He won't knock her up just yet... Or will he? " Dabi grinned and this time Rei had frozen him in place.

" Touya! Stop that! " Rei fumed.

Dabi shut up immediately fearing Rei's wrath after seeing her angry expression.

#bnha x reader #Keigo x Reader #Keigo Takami #Hawks x Reader #BNHA #MHA #Jealous!Hawks x Reader #Possessive! Hawks x Reader #Hawks Imagine #Imagine #xReader

[nurloxx]

tale as old as time

summary: it’s bedtime, and kam’lu is in charge of telling the story

a/n: MAY’LU SHIPPERS COME GET Y’ALL JUICE

"What story do you think papa is going to tell this time?" Brea asked from where she sat on her mother's lap as the older Vapra diligently combed her long pale locks.

"It better not be the one where he got sun frenzy and thought a Hooyim was trying to speak to him." Seladon sighed, running a silver brush through her own hair. She was curled up on a mountain of plush velvet pillows beside her sister Tavra, who was fidgeting impatiently.

"I just hope it's not boring." she said simply.

Mayrin chuckled as she finished up, pecking Brea on the forehead and placing her back down so she could rejoin her sisters on the bed.

"I'm sure whatever your father has planned won't dissapoint." She then discreetly added under her breath. "I hope...."

"Do my ears deceive me or are there four fair gelfling maidens in dire need of a story?"

Four heads simultaneously turned in the direction of a playful voice that boomed from down the hall. The girls squealed in unison as the door swung open to reveal the form of their father, and they abandoned the bed in favor of crowding around his legs enthusiastically.

Kam'lu laughed heartily, scooping his two youngest daughters into his arms, then bending down so that his eldest could climb up on his back.

Mayrin rolled her eyes. "Love, you know they're not supposed to get too excited. It is their bedtime after all."

The Sifa captain gave her a lopsided grin. "Oh but bedtime is the most exciting time of the day, didn't you know? Especially tonights!" He dug his fingers into Tavra and Brea's sides, making them squeal and shriek with laughter.

"Papa, do you have a story for us?" Brea asked, her characteristic curious pools of gold twinkling.

"He better!" Tavra jabbed her tiny finger into her father's chest. "Otherwise I stayed awake for nothing!"

"Fear not my beauties. Tonight's story is a very special one." He gently placed them all down on the pile of cushions, claiming his spot on the biggest one. "One I think your mother will be quite familiar with."

Mayrin almost wanted to ask what Kam'lu was getting at, but the knowing look he threw over his shoulder gave her all the clarification she needed. Smiling, she stood from the vanity chair and got comfortable next to her mate. Their hands interlaced in clear view of their daughters, both not even needing to think about the action. It was practically second nature at that point.

"So, first things first. I have a question for you all." Mayrin gestured between her and Kam'lu. "Do you believe our initial meeting was love at first sight?"

Brea nodded enthusiastically, while Tavra and Seladon shared a look of doubt.

"I'd be surprised if it was..." Seladon muttered.

Mayrin tittered, putting her fingers to her lips. "You'd be correct, my dear. When I first encountered your father, we couldn't have been more different from each other. In the back of my mind I couldn't even begin to fathom how I'd be able to get along with someone so oafish, and thick skulled, and brash-"

"Really feeling the love here...." Kam'lu deflated, ears pinning to the sides of his head. He was actually pouting, and it caused his mate to let out a proper laugh.

"You didn't let me finish." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I truly did believe you to be all those things. However, I'd be proven wrong later on. You were so much more, my love."

The smile slowly returned to Kam'lus face. He kissed her cheek, nuzzling it tenderly. "And to think, all it took was being swallowed up by a sea monster and fighting for our lives trying to escape."

"Wait, you got swallowed by a what?!" Brea exclaimed in disbelief, bouncing around in her seat.

"Sea monster?!" Tavra balked.

"How did you get out?!" Seladon placed a hand to her chest, eyes wide in shock.

The questions continued to pour in at a steady rate.

"Was it a big monster?"

"Did you fight it?!"

"Did you have to light a fire inside it's belly and have it sneeze you out?!"

All eyes in the room fell on Brea with varying levels of puzzlement.

She merely shrugged. "It was in one of my books."

Kam'lu and Mayrin bursted out laughing at that, the older Sifa having to wipe away a tear or two. Such differing personalities their daughters had, but it made them all the more lovable in their eyes.

"That is where our story begins, my young ones. You see, it was a rather dreary and stormy night. The waves had become quite restless..." Kam'lu started his tale, motioning with his hands for the girls to come in closer. They did so without question.

Despite her mate's rather.... eccentric style of storytelling, Mayrin found herself being oddly soothed by it. She studied her daughter's faces with a serene expression. Brea and Tavra seemed the most enraptured, while Seladon appeared more concerned than anything else.

A larger pale hand subtly reached out to grasp hers, and she unconsciously squeezed back.

"..... when we were suddenly face to face with Bobling King himself! Oh he was as helpful as he was fearsome!" Kam'lu made large theatric gestures with his arms, and Mayrin wasn't sure if it was solely for the girls amusement or if he genuinely remembered the King Bobling in that way.

"Pfft, he doesn't sound so scary." Tavra scoffed, crossing her arms.

"That's because he wasn't, dear." Mayrin interjected. She turned to Kam'lu and raised a brow at him. "Love, he barely reached your knee."

"I'm sorry, who is the one telling the story here?"

She pinched the tip of his ear, eliciting a slight yelp from him. "I was there too, you fool." When before the word rolled off her tongue with scorn and exasperation, now there was only fondness present in the Vapra's tone.

This time it was Seladon's turn to laugh. She doubled over on the pillow, clutching her stomach. "Father, you were scared by something so small?" Her sisters soon followed suite, and even Mayrin couldn't resist letting out a chuckle at Kam'lus expense.

The older Sifa's cheeks flared red, and he huffed indignantly. "Well, if that's how you're all going to act, then I think we should cut this story short."

He was only joking of course, but they didn't know that. At least, his daughters didn't. Only Mayrin seemed to catch on to the slight mischievous glint in his eye that told her he didn't really take it to heart.

"No!!!!" Three pairs of arms shot out and latched onto Kam'lu before he could even think about getting up.

"We're sorry Papa!"

"Yeah, really really sorry!"

"You gotta finish the story!"

He looked down at the pleading faces of his little ones, and feigned a look of pensiveness.

"Well, I suppose I can't stay mad at my beauties for long, can I?"

"No, no you can't." Mayrin smirked, playing with a lock of russet colored hair. "We all have you wrapped around our fingers. Forever."

"There's no other fate on Thra I'd rather resign myself to. Now then," He pulled his mate, along with his daughters onto his lap, much to their amusement. It was a tight fit, but they managed. "As I was saying, we had begun our treacherous journey into the belly of the beast..."

Kam'lu smoothly picked up where he had left off, progressing through the rest of the story with little to no interruptions. Though he had to pause multiple times to chuckle at Tavra's starstruck expression when the subject of the flying Zoa and the final battle aboard skekSa's ship came up.

"From that day on, I swore I'd stay by your mother's side through thick and thin. No matter what unholy terrors Thra tossed our way, I'd be right there with her." Kam'lu smiled lovingly, kissing the head of his mate, who hummed in acknowledgement.

"And not long after, we had our first daughter. Our little Seladon." Mayrin cooed, cupping her eldest's cheek and stroking it with her thumb. "Do you remember where your name comes from, dearest?"

"It was the name of a famous Vapran general, right? The one who saved her village from an avalanche?"

Mayrin nodded, tapping her nose. "That's exactly right. I sensed a very stalwart spirit when I was pregnant with you, and I wanted your name to reflect that."

"Can we hear that story next?" Brea asked, yawning.

Kam'lu chuckled. "I'm afraid we'll have to save that particular tale for another night. For now, I think it's time for my beauties to get some sleep."

A low whine of protest sounded from each girl, and Mayrin gently shushed them. "Your father's right. It's already past your bedtime, and you have a big day tomorrow."

"We do?" They all tilted their heads curiously.

Kam'lu grinned. "Yes! It'll be a nice sunny day tomorrow, and I figured what better way to spend it than to take all of you out on the ship for the afternoon."

"So the sooner you go to sleep, the sooner morning will come, and we can ready ourselves accordingly." Mayrin collected her daughters into her arms as she spoke, tucking them each into their respective beds and kissing them goodnight. Kam'lu went around to do the same, saying quiet Sifan prayers under his breath as he did so.

When they were finally laid to rest, Mayrin quietly stepped out of the room, holding the door open for her mate to join her in the hallway.

"Well, let it never be said that I didn't marry a halfway decent storyteller." She jested, elbowing Kam'lu in the side. "Better than I could have told it anyway."

"Ah, so you finally admit I'm better than you at something. Never thought I'd live to see the day." He grinned smugly.

Mayrin popped him on the shoulder. "Don't let it go to your head now. You're a better storyteller than you are a captain, let's put it that way." She ribbed him teasingly. Then she began to saunter ahead of him towards their bed chambers.

"Come, the hour is late and I could use some shut-eye myself."

Kam'lu watched her go at first, making sure her back was completely turned to him before responding.

"Right away, my All Maudra."

In one fluid motion Kam'lu came up behind Mayrin and swept her up into a bridal carry, walking her the rest of the way with a big smile on his face.

She slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter lest she wake the children.

He couldn't see it, but she was wearing a grin big enough to rival his.

#the dark crystal #the dark crytsal: age of resistance #prequel comics #all maudra mayrin #kam'lu #i write stuff

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I feel like you're the right person I can talk to you about so... A few days ago I got into a discussion turned into a heated argument with my friend about how it's important that we show sympathy with other people.This whole conversation started because our mutual friend did something that was really hurtful to our other friend and I made a comment that I realize how shitty that behavior is but I also sympathize with her and I fell so sad that she's so sad and suffering so much that she's hurting other people like this. And I said that if you look at it that way next time she does this it's gonna hurt less because you understand that she's also suffering and hurting herself. And you can make peace with it more easily.

My friend said if you're just saying you sympathize with her and not call her out on her wrong behavior then you're just selfish and thinking about your peace and not other people's. I made a comment and I quote "if we can't show sympathy for people who haven't had the same lived experience as us, our society can become a very dangerous place".

I personally believe in that statement. Often times when people see someone makes mistakes or do or say some thing stupid and hurtful or showcase a pattern of behavior that's not very healthy they say "well they chose to do this" or "it's their decision, they have to suffer the consequences". It makes me really wonder. I mean of course at the end of the day we are humans with brains and moral compass and we have the tools to learn what's good and what's bad. But I think we are all product of both generational and individual traumas. I think the traumatic experiences that we've had shape our perspective of the world tremendously. And I think that's where sympathy should come in. And I think we don't necessarily need to take sides or agree with certain things or not hold people accountable for their actions but I think having sympathy can help us understand each other better.

I explained all of this to my friend and she responded that "oh it's all pure bullshit. It's just a fantasy you can't expect everyone in a society to show sympathy all the time."

And I responded that it's not a fantasy. Look at all the social movements that have happened around the world. If we as society weren't capable of showing sympathy towards people with different lived experiences then how the hell these changes happen?

And at one point she said then what about a rapist? Will you be able to show sympathy towards a rapist and say I understand why he did this horrible action?

And honestly I was shocked and I didn't know how to answer that. Cause in my mind it was obvious that an action that's so violent and brutal and just so so so damaging to another person wasn't the point of the argument. I thought the boundaries were clear and we were just talking about human interactions on surface level. I didn't know we were gonna go there.

And I've been thinking about this a lot and I'm confused. Like where do you draw the line? Like where do you say I can show sympathy and where can you be like oh that person can go to hell?

And obviously everyone has their own biases and prejudice. But I can't stop thinking about it.

And I think my friend took everything so personally and felt like I was attacking her and calling her cold hearted and honestly I wasn't. I was just explaining my thoughts.

It really hurt me the way we spoke to each other. We're seemingly fine no3byt I felt like I was gaslit the whole time. She constantly put words in my mouth. Called me names and then turned around and said I was attacking her cause she's more extroverted and shows her emotions and shares her thoughts more which??? Wasn't the point at all.

Sorry I just rambled in your inbox. English isn't my first language . It's been really hard hearing these things from your friend.

Sorry this took me a while to get to anon - I think you raise some really interesting questions.

I agree that it can be useful and important to acknowledge that a lot of people's actions can come from pain. But I think the first thing to do about that realisation is to understand that it's not transferable.

That understanding, which says 'oh I see that this thing that you did comes from a place of pain' is only meaningful if it's optional and freely given. You can decide for yourself to see your friend's actions in that way, but as soon as you start advocating sympathy for others, your changing it's meaning'. Like kindness (I've talked a bit about this) the sort of sympathy that you're talking about is only meaningful if it's important.

Talking to someone who has been hurt (if I understand your story correctly) and telling them how to understand and see the person who hurt them - is neither generous nor sympathetic. The point about being freely given is even more true for people who have been hurt (For the record, I also don't think it's true that bad behaviour will hurt less if it understands where someone is coming from. We're all more complicated and have more depth of feelings than that sort of simple solution would allow). I'm not surprised your friend reacted as they did - defensive and angry. Telling friends how they should respond to being hurt is neither sympathetic nor generous.

You ask where to draw the line - and that's the point, that people get to decide for themselves what matters, where to be generous and where not to extend generosity. Generosity and sympathy are only meaningful from one person - if another person can say fuck off. Otherwise it's not generosity or sympathy - but social pressure limiting acceptable feelings and expression of feelings.

I think it's great that you're thinking about this, but I think the next step is to think a little more about boundaries. You are not your friend, your feelings are not your friend's feelings.

One of the things that interested me about this ask is that you don't specify what the friend did - you just describe something as hurtful, but you seem to see it as wrong. Not everything that is hurtful is wrong. Someone can say something hurtful and it also be true, or reasonable. It doesn't really matter what the action that sparked all that. But the way you wrote about it made me think that saying things that hurt other people is wrong - and I think that suggests a lack of boundaries.

Then at the end you use the term 'gaslighting' to refer to an argument where you didn't feel understood. In general, I'm against almost every use of the term gaslighting that doesn't include an actual gas lamp. But I also think to use it in a situation where you've already tried to tell someone how to feel about someone who hurt them, is particularly messy.

I think it's really cool that you're thinking about these things anon and it's very normal to struggle to figure out boundaries. I do recommend thinking a little less in terms of universal truths, and a little more in terms of what people get to decide for themselves.

#Sorry if I've got any of the details wrong #I would always recommend reading Captain Awkward #for a better sense of boundaries

[spacesuitsforemergency]

The Rise Of Iron Maiden

Chapter 4: Failure to Launch

Word Count: 2.9k

Originally Requested by: @amateurwriterbigdreamer

Previous Chapter: We’re in the Endgame Now

Next Chapter: The Return Of Iron Maiden

A/N: this chapters kinda slow, but I gotta fill the plot. Next chapters gonna be pretty Tye heavy (mostly from his POV)

“Wrah!” Nebula stood up, putting her hands in a fighting stance.

“You don't need to do that. Because uh... you're just holding position.” Tony mimicked a football goalpost with his hands as she flicked a paper football towards him. “Oh yeah, that was close.”

“I would like to try again.”

You and Tye watched from the front of the ship, both of you previously watching the stars. Both of you are silent, neither of you wanting to talk. You were still too shaken up from the events of nearly last month. Nebula had attempted to fly you back to Earth, but the Milano broke down and now you were floating in space, hopeless.

“Fair game. Good sport. Have fun?” Your dad asked Nebula.

“It was...fun.” She nodded slowly.

“Tye, Y/N, wanna play?” Tony looked over to the two kids.

“I’m good.” Tye mumbled.

“Hey, come on.” Your dad urged. “It’s fun. Right, Nebula?”

“It is fun.” She nodded, face deadpanned. Tye sighed, but eventually joined them.

“Y/N?” Your dad offered.

“Um...I’m tired, I’m gonna go sleep for a little bit.” You give him a small smile as if to say you were okay, before retreating to the back of the ship towards the bedrooms.

You lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. You think about everyone at home, and the frustration of not knowing who was still alive. Were Eduardo, Jaime, Peter, Quill, Drax, Mantis and Doctor Strange still alive? Or did they die? Would they ever come back? Could you bring them back?

Usually Eduardo was there to tell you you were overthinking and to calm you down, but he was gone. He turned to dust in your hands, and you couldn’t do anything about it. You hated it when you couldn’t control something, much like your father. If you couldn’t protect the ones you loved, you felt useless. You felt guilty, believing it was your fault that Eduardo, Jaime and Peter were gone. You were even guilty about the Guardians of the Galaxy, even though you barely knew them.

You looked over at your pile of armor on the floor. You dragged yourself out of bed, sitting against it. You clicked a button on your helmet, and waited for it to light up.

“This thing on?” You ask nobody in particular, then let it scan you. “Alright. Hey mom. Uh...sorry for not listening to dad. Again. I should be down on Earth, I’m sorry I’m worrying you. Dad makes you do that enough already.” You chuckle softly. “Um...it’s day 22, just floating in space. The blue meanie tried to fly us back. You’d like her, she’s very practical. It’s only her, me, dad, and Tye left. He doesn’t talk much-well, not that he did before. He’s pretty broken over Jaime. Peters gone too, poor kid. Aunt Mays gonna kill him. Um...I lost Eduardo. He just...turned into dust. I couldn’t do anything about it...I really miss him, mom. I won’t miss him much longer though, in fact, I might see him in the next...48 hours of oxygen. It won’t last long with four people on here though. I didn’t think I’d die like this, it’s so pathetic.” You scoff and shake your head. “I thought I’d die saving people. I want to die saving people, that’s how I’ve always wanted to go but...nope. I’m gonna die because this piece of junk broke down in the middle of the universe. So uh...I’m gonna go play some paper football with the two grumps and dad. I’m really sorry, mom. All you do is put up with our shit, and tell us when to stop. I should’ve listened this time.” You go to turn it off, quickly saying, “I love you.”

You fall back against the bed, feeling lightheaded and dizzy. The low oxygen levels are already effecting you, which meant your dad and friend were both feeling them too. You wanted to go join them, but you couldn’t move your whole body enough to do so. You lied there, staring at your Iron Maiden suit. The suit you used to save people, but you couldn’t even save yourself. You failed Eduardo. Jaime. Peter. Quill. Drax. Mantis. Doctor Strange. And who knows who else.

You feel yourself being lifted off the ground, and you look up to see Nebula. She was mostly machine, so the lack of oxygen wasn’t effecting her as bad as you. She carried you over to a couch that she had dragged into the control room, facing the window. Your dad was sitting in the middle, Tye beside him. Nebula sat you on his other side, then left.

Tony gathered enough strength to lift his arms, resting them around the two kids’ shoulders and pulling them closer to him. He wanted to comfort them, but he couldn’t speak. You all stared out at the stars, awaiting your deaths.

•

A bright light pierced your brain, making you cringe as you wake up. You open your eyes and blink until they adjust. You see a woman outside of the ship, looking in. You weakly shake your dads leg, trying to alert him. His hand rests atop of yours to tell you he’s okay, as he slowly sits up a little.

“Who’s that?” Tye mumbles, half asleep.

“Not sure, kid.” Tony replied. You pass out again, not able to hold consciousness. You wake up again when someone shakes you awake, opening your eyes to see your dads best friend, Rhodey.

“Y/N? Hey, think you can stand?” He asked softly. You nod, and he helps you to your feet you lean on him as he walks you down the ramp to outside.

“Is mom...?” You breathe out, still blinking away black spots in your vision.

“Y/N! Tony!” You hear her yell from somewhere, before Rhodey can even open his mouth. “Oh my god! Oh my god!”

Your mom practically crashed into you, holding you tightly to her. You fall into her, not having the strength to stand any longer. Your dad walks by himself over to his two girls, hugging them tightly. Back in space, he truly thought those would be his last moment, so he was eternally grateful that he got to live long enough to hold them both again.

Tye watched the scene from where Natasha was helping him stand, feeling alone. His mother was in a different dimension than him, and Tye felt like she probably didn’t even miss him.

“Nat?” He breathed out.

“What’s up?” She asked, looking down at the exhausted boy.

“You have food that isn’t freeze dried and in a silver bag, right?” He asked.

“Yeah, come on.” She chuckled, helping him walk towards the Compound.

“Don’t you two ever do that again.” Pepper began to cry.

“No promises.” Tony kissed each of his girls on top of the head, as Steve approached you guys. “Couldn’t stop him, Cap.”

“Neither could I.” Steve nodded.

“I lost the kids. Peter. Jaime. Eduardo.” Tony shook his head, guilt washing over him once again.

“Tony, we all lost.”

You’re brought into the compound, each immediately given an IV and some food. You and Tye eat like animals, not having any rations for the past couple of days. You watch a holographic screen listing the heroes that disappeared in the Decimation; Wanda Maximoff, Nick Fury, Jaime Reyes, Bucky Barnes, Peter Quill, Scott Lang, Sam Wilson, Peter Parker, T’Challa, Eduardo Dorado Jr...

“It’s been 23 days since Thanos came to Earth.” Rhodey announced.

“World governments are in pieces. The parts that are still working are trying to take a census. And it looks like he did... he did exactly what he said he was gonna do. Thanos wiped out fifty percent, of all living creatures.” Natasha paced slowly in front of the holographs.

“Where is he?” You ask timidly, still nervous about him.

“We don't know. He just opened a portal and walked through.” Bruce Banner said slowly, trying to not scare the kids even more than they already were.

“What's wrong with him?” Tony asked, motioning to Thor, who was staring into space.

“Oh, he's pissed. He thinks he failed. Which of course he did, but you know there's a lot of that's going around, ain't there?” A talking raccoon spoke up from behind you.

“Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear.” Your dad pointed at him.

“You’re with him, kid? Really?” The raccoon looked at Tye.

“You know a talking raccoon?” You asked Tye, staring at the raccoon.

“He’s not a-.”

“I’m not a raccoon!” It snapped at you. “Why do you humies keep saying that?”

“We've been hunting Thanos for three weeks now. Deep Space scans, and satellites, and we got nothing. Tony, Y/N, Tye, you fought him.” Steve interrupted.

“Who told you that? I didn't fight him.” Tony scoffed. “No, he wiped my face with a planet while the Bleecker Street Magician gave away the store. Nearly killed my daughter, and Tye. One hit away from it, in fact. That's what happened. There was no fight.”

“Okay.”

“He was unbeatable.” Tye shook his head, and you agreed.

“Did he give you any clues, any coordinates, anything?” Captain America asked.

“Pfft! I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision. I didn't wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming.” Tony said.

“Dad, calm down.”

“Tony, I’m gonna need you to focus.”

“And I needed you. As in past tense. That trumps what you need. It's too late buddy. Sorry. You know what I need?” Your dad stood up, slapping things off a table. Everyone winced from the sudden noise. “I need to shave. And I believe I remember telling all youse-“

Tony lunges at Steve, but Rhodey stepped between them and held your dad back.

“Alive and otherwise what we needed was a suit of armor around the world! Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not-that's what we needed!” Tony yelled at Steve.

“Well, that didn't work out, did it?” Steve kept his composure, only angering your father even more.

“I said, "we'd lose". You said, "We'll do that together too." And guess what, Cap? We lost. And you weren't there. But that's what we do, right? Our best work after the fact? We're the Avengers, we're the Avengers. Not the Prevengers.”

“Dad! Stop!” You shout at him, your head spinning.

“You know what, honey? The adults are talking, alright?” Your dad said, with a little more venom than he intended.

“Mr. Stark you made your point just-“ Tye started.

“Nah, nah. Here's my point. You know what?” Tony turned back to glare at Captain America.

“Tony, you’re sick.” Rhodey insisted, trying to get him to sit back down.

“I got nothing for you, Cap! I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust. Liar.” Tony slowly walked up to Steve, getting right in his face. You all tensed when Tony ripped his arc reactor out of his chest, smacking it into Steve’s hand. “Here, take this. You find him, and you put that on. You hide.”

“Dad!” You shout when he suddenly falls to the ground.

“Tony!” Steve reached down to help his old friend up.

“I’m fine. I...” Your dad trails off, falling unconsciously to the floor. You try to get up, but Natasha pushes you back down by your shoulders.

“Get him to a room. Call Pepper.” Natasha ordered the men, before turning back to you two. “He’ll be fine, Y/N. Just needs to rest. So do you.”

“Not tired.” You shook your head stubbornly.

“Nebula, Rocket, think you can handle watching them for a moment?” She asked the two aliens, sitting on the wall behind you.

“Yes.” Nebula nodded.

“Sure.” The raccoon, or, Rocket shrugged.

Natasha gave you a reassuring smile before turning to help the other bring your father to a room.

“Sorry about your friend, kid.” Rocket hopped down and rounded the couch you and Tye were on to face him.

“Yeah. Sorry about the others.” Tye nodded, expression not changing at all. Your eyes drifted back to the screen, watching more and more names and pictures appear onscreen.

“Where are you going?” You hear Natasha ask someone.

“To kill Thanos.” The lady that flew you home stated simply as they emerged from the hallway.

“Hey, you know, we usually work as a team here, and between you and I, morale's a little fragile.” Nat mumbled.

“We realize up there is more your territory, but this is our fight too.” Steve nodded.

“You even know where he is?” Rhodey joined them.

“I know people who might.” The lady said, blank faced.

“Don't bother. I can tell you where Thanos is. Thanos spent a long time trying to perfect me. And when he worked, he talked about his great plan. Even disassembled, I wanted to please him. I'd ask "where would we go once his plan was complete?". His answer was always the same: "To the Garden." Nebula stood up, walking over to them.

“That's cute, Thanos has a retirement plan.” Rhodey joked, earning small smiles from you and Tye. He smiled back, glad to bring the two kids joy, even for a moment.

“So where is he?” Steve asked, and the adults walked over to a round table. You and Tye joined them, regaining enough strength to stand. You still leaned on Rhodey, which he happily let you do.

“When Thanos snapped his fingers, Earth became ground zero for a power surge of ridiculously cosmic proportions. No one's ever seen anything like it... Until two days ago.” Rocket showed a hologram of a planet, with a shockwave visibly traversing the surface. “On this planet.”

“Thanos is there.” Nebula added.

“He used the Stones again.” Natasha muttered.

“Hey, hey, hey. We'd be going in short-handed, you know.” Bruce piped up.

“Look, he's still got the stones, so...” Rhodey said.

“So let's get him... Use them to bring everyone back.” The lady told you.

“Just like that?” Tye raises an eyebrow in disapproval.

“Just like like.” Steve nodded.

“Even if there's a small chance that we can undo this... I mean we owe it to everyone who's not in this room to try.” Natasha tried to convince everyone. You looked down, feeling the guilt from letting your friends die in the pit of your stomach.

“If we do this, how do we know it's gonna end any differently than it did before?” Bruce asked.

“Because before, you didn't have me.” The lady crossed her arms.

“Hey, new girl, everyone here is about that superhero life. And if you don't mind my asking, where the hell have you been all this time?” Rhodey put a hand on his hip, making sure to balance so you wouldn’t fall.

“There are a lot of other planets in the universe. And unfortunately, they didn't have you guys.” The lady narrowed her eyes at Rhodey.

Thor walked out of the shadows, towards the lady. They stand in front of each other as if challenging the other. Thor holds out his hand, and Stormbreaker flies into his hand. Then they both grin at each other.

“I like this one.” Thor said.

“Let’s go get this son of a bitch.” You growl.

“Like hell you’re going!” Natasha laughed.

“No way, kids.” Steve shook his head. “Adults only on this one.”

“Would you quit treating us like children?” You glare at them.

“We probably got more punches in on Thanos than all of you combined.” Tye said venomously.

“First of all, not possible.” Natasha said. “Second of all, you are not coming. Tony and Pepper would go into cardiac arrest if you came along.”

You and Tye exchange looks, looking to the floor in compliance.

“Look, we know you’re hurting. But going at him all malnourished and seeking revenge is not the way to do it.” Rhodey told you guys.

“You’ll stay here with Tony and Pepper, okay?” Natasha asked. “Rest. Let us take care of this.”

“...okay.” You sigh.

“Thank you.” She pulled both of you into a hug. You melted into it, Tye tensed up.

You hugged each of the remaining Avengers, even Thor let you hug him, though he didn’t hug back. You and Tye stood and watched at they boarded the now fixed Milano, then watched them take off. You stood there for a little bit after, staring at the dark sky.

“Tye?” You whisper after a long stretch of silence.

“Yeah?”

“You think they can do it?” You ask

Tye hesitates. You’re scared, he’s scared, and both of you just want even a glimpse of hope. He debates what to tell you, what he truly thought or what he knew you wanted to hear.

“...no.”

You nod slowly, agreeing with him. A single tear falls down your face, dropping onto the paved pathway.

“I miss them, too.” Tye took a shaky breath, fighting his own tear ducts. He never cried, let alone in front of anyone.

“I’m sorry you lost Jaime.” You turn to him. “I know how much he meant to you. Eduardo too.”

“I’m sorry you lost Peter. You guys are as close as Jaime and I are. And I’m sorry you lost Eduardo, too.” Tye quickly blinked away tears.

“Can you believe they’re all gone?” You ask.

“No.” He shook his head. “I wish it could just be a month ago. When we were on that one mission.”

“The one where Jaime and Peter accidentally broke into Scott Lang’s house?” You giggle.

“How do you accidentally break in?” Tye laughed, shaking his head. “They’re truly idiots.”

“But they’re our idiots.” You nod, smiling sadly at the sky.

#the rise of iron maiden #eduardo dorado jr x stark! reader #tye longshadow #natasha romanoff #james rhodes #tony stark #bruce banner #thor odinson #carol danvers #rocket raccoon #nebula #avengers endgame #marvel #jaime reyes #spiderman #peter parker

[festivecuriosity]

[October 13, 2020]

♡ Mercury retrograde in Scorpio is happening tonight. I can already feel/see it's influence. It also doesn't help matters that my current household is primarily made up of Scorpios or Plutonian individuals (most of my roommates are "essential workers" like EMTs or caretakers). Brad (the most Scorpio of the house) has called for a rare consideration; that there be silence in the living room (communal space) when he comes home. He's never asked for that before. This feels very symbolic of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. A moment of silence in our otherwise very talkative household. Besides that, he's coming home right around the time MRX/Scorpio would be officially beginning.

♤ Identifying omens is part of my practice. It's one of my oldest, foundational, cornerstones of how I communicate with the Universe and my guides. When you notice something (really notice it) to the point that it stands out in your mind and you end up thinking on it all day, it is an "omen". A symbolic representation of the message the Universe is sending you. I was given an omen by the Universe yesterday as to the immediate future/Mercury RX in Scorpio. I was outside (smoking) when I saw a hawk soaring in the air, being pursued by two black crows, and navigating around their assaults. The hawk (personally) represents my spiritual vision/focus/accuracy. The two crows, I believe, represented thoughts that attack my focus. I.e. Huginn and Muninn, thought and memory. Although, Huginn and Muninn are technically ravens. Not crows. I still think the message from the Universe is to tame my PTSD/where my mind goes/stay focused on my goals instead of letting my negative thoughts pick at me.

Also kind of reminds me of the qliphothic sphere/inverted sphere of Netzach. Where the "crows" pick at the beauty of Source. Another reminder to keep my inner criticism from attacking my spiritual focus/my ability to see the beauty in my life and self.

Two other people in the household got omens on the same day as me. One person got a vulture eating roadkill on the side of the road, the other got a brown cricket. Since the vulture means rebirth and ressurection through shadow work, I think the household is going through a transitional phase (what affects one person in the house typically touches all of us). I am not certain on the brown cricket, however. Good luck? What struck me the most about it was that my roommate was trying to catch it...and it always knew when to hop away just in the nick of time.

♧ I've been rearranging/unpacking my boxes from Seattle finally. For a long time now, I've just been living out of boxes, and refusing to do much magic. I didn't even set up my altar when I got all my stuff back from [Redacted abuser]. It's taken awhile to even get myself back to directly communicating with my guides...much less the Universe/Source. Anyways, I'm finally going through my boxes, and setting up an official altar area. When I was getting into my old rock and crystal collection (I was into that stuff way back before I realized how harmful the crystal/gemstone trend is for Earth's environment), I found an old piece of Mookaite that I friend gave me. And I shit you not, the thing physically vibrated in my hand when I touched it.

I've been holding it ever since. Have totally and honestly forgotten all the exact properties of the stones I own. It's been such a long time. I was also practicing "crystal/crystal energy psychicism" when I was homeless as a means to survive the streets so...I'm pretty sure my PTSD is blocking a lot of that information out.

I guess it's time to rediscover crystals again? Not buying any new ones. Just utilizing the ones I already have to the best of my ability. I feel like it was wrong that so many of them were taken from the ground to be pretty baubles for people. I might as well make it worth something by using them to help myself/others/incorporate them into my active life so they hold meaning.

Mookaite feels very grounding and soothing already. It feels like a very receptive stone, inviting energy into it much like organic pearls do. I also notice that it has almost a dream/trance-like affect to it's grounding energy. I think maybe I'll take time to meditate with it tomorrow.

◇ Brad pretty much runs the household that I live in. Further details; I live in a BDSM polycule, Brad is one of the doms. One of Brad's relationships was very close to being homeless recently. While normally, being homeless is... [redacted PTSD disassociating moment] being non-binary and homeless during COVID-19 is even worse. So we took them in. Inevitably, we had to make some major adjustments (about space, because technically we're fitting 9 people in a 2 bedroom house). It's been a test of adaptability through chaos for everyone. One of the major areas of contention is that everything inside the house is getting moved, rearranged, or tossed. And some people (mainly [redacted name]) is absolutely 100% terrible at adapting to change, unless someone is literally dying. Also, while I get that none of this can really be helped, I'm also a bit annoyed by the sudden introduction of someone new.

But even if I'm annoyed by it, I wasn't about to say "no" when Brad told us what was going on. I'm not a monster. I was homeless too and Brad helped me get off the streets. This person, while I don't know them well enough to make a judgement, deserves the same chance that I did to get stable in an era where stability is a pipe dream.

I'm actually not the one having the hardest problem. Surprising, it's the spirit of the house that's having the hardest problem. Our house is an old 1950's model built at the corner of a crossroads. Technically the house kinda exists as a liminal space. And there's so much stuffed inside of it that theoretically anything *could exist* in the house. Sometimes weird shit pops up and then disappears. It's very similar to the Seattle house I lived in when I was with [KILL BILL SIRENS] but has less of a metaphorical underworld cave vibe and more of a Howl's Moving Castle vibe. Anyways, the house itself is having a bad time adjusting to all the change/cleaning that the new roommate is doing...because it keeps hiding and moving (specifically) all the stuff that the new roommate has. They're not a stoner. They have a decently good memory. And I know that nobody in the house would do something like that. Plus, they apparently heard disembodied laughter right after discovering something was missing. The genuis locci (house spirit) is fucking with 'em hard.

I've never seen the genius locci do this before. The worst it ever did to me was hide a really expensive Egyptian cotton pillow case once. It eventually spat it back out after cuddling with it, I imagine. Seriously; Egyptian cotton sheets. Get you some.

So after the 100× time today that the new roommate was swearing about their missing things, I suggested that maybe they need to butter up the genius locci with gifts. Kinda romance the house a bit. Give it something so that it builds a relationship with the spirits that live here. They're a (self-professed) baby witch whose background is Jewish. They mostly excel at kitchen witchery (for now) and incorporating the works and wisdom of the Torah into their life. So they weren't too certain on ritualistic offerings to a house spirit. But with some suggestions from me and listening to their own intuition, they were able to put something quick together. It's nice to see people using magic around the house and learning new skills. And to their benefit, I felt the house chill out a bit after the ritual/gift giving was done.

I have been giving the house/my guides a portion of my nightly tea every now and then. It's honestly nothing fancy but I figure small gifts count for something right?

[kidmachinate]

Time To Turn Up The Heat

Hades. I've mentioned this game in my last few posts. Why? Progression. Almost like there's this theme or something. There's supposed to be even if rocky along the way.

Let's state this for the whole class to hear. If you're focused on shaping your present for a better future, the past doesn't exist. Take a fine look at this clown we've had in office for someone that consistently dodges issues and looks the the past claiming "unfair treament" when in fact it was he who failed America. Wanna harp on someone's life failures? That's a huge one and it affects everyone. Even this however, won't push us forward and we need to do that for ourseleves.

Heat is Hades form of difficulty levels upon difficulty levels. Some might say it is silly to compare games to real life. Another consistent theme on here. I respectfully disagree with that opinion. In my very household, there is progression within this game from three different people. Something else I'll be getting into real soon. We are each challenging ourselves, within our own skill levels, to slowly but surely, turn up the heat. Add one extra thing to consider on each of our between half hour to an hour runs, which hopefully end in victory, but not always. One extra micro decision that makes us think about what items we want to take on a run or what ways to make the game just a tad more difficult.

Roguelikes tend to juggle many micro decisions that hopefully lead to a macro victory. Sometimes I wonder if I'm holding myself back by knowing some of the same people for years. From time to time however, I do change that and may meet another person online or IRL. The huge plus to knowing the same people, you know what to expect. If you're close friends, you esentially grow up together and remain a positive influence in their life. Not everyone will. That's okay. That's their life to live. In a videogame, the goal is simple. Win. So how do we score wins for ourselves? Whatever brings you peace.

While I technically live alone and have for a while, I've esentially moved in two people close to me, to help bring peace in their otherwise crap home scenarios. Without getting into a lot of detail, I chose the route of forgiveness. I don't think something that has has a negative impact on your life should your tour attention for very long after the fact than to learn from it. Let's call it for what it is because one of the two is a previous partner of mine. Her name is Amber. It took a combination of therapy and other experiences on both ends to even come to the conclusion that maybe this time, things will be different. What happens there? My business. But it is currently what is. Outside of that, we're people trying to live. Live in South Florida no less. Hard times. We shall push through. The other person is my friend Corey. He makes some of the same questionable choices I do romantically that we find ways to joke about later, although I can't relate to how far they usually get. I've never been married. Don't care for it. Outside of this, we find a way to have very different opinions on either life itself or games even but still get along. If only that could apply to sports and religion. I'm intentionally leaving out politics because that is a seperate topic all together at this point.

We're not the most functioning family, the three of us, but we agree on enough to make a living scenario work, because who needs all the extra stress, right? For a long time, I've run from my own choices. My own opinions. All for some silly attempt to make anyone and everyone happy. It can't be done and the quicker we all realize that, it can lead to a more focused journey for us moving forward. I weighed out my options for how I'd like to live. For right now, I'm helping two others and providing a safe space of sorts. If this leads to a scenario past this aging apartment I currently rent, amazing. If not? That's life.

I focused on two people by name in this post because they are literally closest to me within my home. My best friend of sixteen plus years too does it all on their own. I respect that highly. I've done it. I've just decided to try a different route that can be beneficial to everyone. We each have moments of "I don't care what anyone says" in which we close our minds to any opinion but our own. The issue with this is it isn't sensitive to others needs. I'll take the blame front and center for my part on this. I'm used to rejection and being told no a lot. It's a goal of mine once reshaping my employment scenario. To fix unsolved trauma which hold me back at times from being more open.

This post is called what it is for a reason. It's been made clear to me who is willing to take the blame. Who is willing to blame shift. Who wants to change from toxic ways or to simply remain. The better part however is that none of this has anything to do with my personal journey. I base many of these posts off personal experiences with a dash of gaming references, but I don't want to target any one person for harm or help. It is all inclusive. We are after all supposed to be a UNITED states of America, even if we aren't now.

I'm turning up the heat and perhaps I like to play with fire a bit. Perhaps I want to rush life in the face and see what happens. It is how you learn. Sometimes we need a bit of heat to light the fire under our asses we need to do the right thing. Catch me at the right time and I'll do that. However, I've become more comfortable going back to some way of old where observing is better. Because you can't help everyone. This doesn't mean you turn cold.

People swear you have to take sides. If you take any side, take your own. What aligns and what doesn't. Those which align with you will understand that and won't try to change you for it. Some of us need more help too. Turn on god mode. Better resistance to deal with the challenges faced in front of you. Better than not having tried at all.

Heat is off. It's up to you now. Up to all of us to be more understanding while pushing ourselves forward and maybe, just maybe, not take things so personally. I'm not sorry that I don't want the worst for people, even if they have made some mistakes. I too have pushed some away after being wronged. I also was sometimes the offender. We all can be our own redeemer however and we need to encourage others to do just that. If you have to play the avoid game for your sanity or mental health, awesome. You don't have to put them in your Death Note.

#hades #heat #progression #creativewriting #mentalhealthawareness #right and wrong

[mbti-notes]

(1/3)How does one deal with feeling like your friends are neglecting you? I have these couple of friends that lately I feel like I don't hang out with unless I'm the one initiating. When we do see each other everything is going well, but I feel like maybe they take me for granted, or maybe I was the only one thinking that we're friends, while they don't care that much about me and don't really miss me if we go months without seeing each other.

[con’t: Frankly I want to just drop out of contact with them and “test” wether or not they’ll even make an effort to reach out to me, and if they not then why should I?. But at the same time, I’m aware that we all have our own lives to deal with, and people have different ideas of how much effort should be put into “maintaining” a friendship. Also, I never really communicated that I feel this way (cause I don’t really communicate feelings openly like that) and instead always just focus on having a good time with them, so if I were to suddenly make this an issue I feel like it could come out of the blue from their perspective. Should I just stop trying with them and see what happens? And if I were to pursue the issue, how would I do it without putting a needless pressure on them and making things weird? - INFJ]

Ignoring feelings is the road to ruin for Fs. Genuine question: How important are your feelings to you? For example, when you feel neglected or taken for granted, do you honor those feelings and treat them as important? They seem important to you, otherwise, you’d easily brush them off. If feelings are important to you, why can’t you talk about them, and why shouldn’t people talk about them? Is your perspective not important in a relationship? Why do you relate feelings to “pressure” or being “weird”? This seems to imply that you think it’s somehow “unnatural” to have feelings, otherwise, you wouldn’t ask how to “deal” with them as though they are some kind of plague or obstacle?

First of all, in a relationship, people owe each other certain agreed upon duties and responsibilities. If you relinquish them, the relationship ends as there’s no commitment to each other. You seem to think people owe you more than they’re giving you, perhaps rightfully so (as INFJs are often devoted friends to a fault), while you also recognize that different people have a different conception of what their duties and responsibilities are. How are two people, with two different conceptions of their duties and responsibilities, supposed to get onto the same page without DISCUSSING their conceptions and forging middle ground? It’s not magically going to happen without any effort. Long-term relationships require effort to sustain, and both parties must agree to putting in a relatively equal amount of effort, otherwise one party will always feel cheated. If someone isn’t willing to put in the effort, then you’re barking up the wrong tree and should simply move on. This connects to the next point.

Second, if someone doesn’t contact you as often as you’d like, it is unwise to speculate and ascribe motives to their behavior without knowing the facts of their situation. You feel hurt, fine, but don’t jump to conclusions and claim that they don’t care or that they don’t miss you. This kind of judgmental leap is unwarranted, and it actually reflects on your emotional insecurity rather than their moral character. Do you act on every thought and feeling that comes your way? You clearly don’t, because your question is about feeling neglected but not doing anything about it. People can miss you a lot yet still not contact you, people can care about you a lot yet still not contact you, for reasons that you aren’t aware of, because you don’t know what’s really happening inside them. Maybe they’re good friends, maybe they’re jerks. The point is that you don’t really know because you’re overlooking a lot of different possibilities by jumping to conclusions.

INFJs with poor emotional intelligence are often very judgmental (Ti fail), because they aren’t aware that negative emotions have hijacked their speculative process, and they believe that their “intuitions” about people are god-given truths. This often sabotages their relationships over and over again. Nobody likes to be misjudged or wrongly accused, and it’s not a good habit to go around judging people without giving them fair opportunity to present the facts of their case. I’m guessing the reason that you fear talking about it is because you know that the anger you feel in your heart is going to create a volatile situation. And the anger is there because you have jumped to a negative conclusion about their moral character. Blame is a defense mechanism that grants a false sense of power, FJs usually do it to deflect their feelings of hurt/inadequacy/inferiority.

A much wiser strategy is to figure out the facts rather than indulging blame. Once you have the facts, you’d be in a much better position to decide what to do. What’s stopping you from genuinely asking people why they don’t initiate contact? That would naturally open up a normal conversation/negotiation about how much to contact each other. Be honest: Do you actually want to know the truth, or do you like sitting in judgment of people and stewing in your negative feelings (as many INFJs do)? And you even want to “test” your friends in an experiment to prove your negative judgment, which will, of course, turn out exactly as you expect because you’re intellectually dishonest. It’s easy to hold a false belief when you rig the experiment and never actually open yourself up to real counter-evidence. It’s easy to maintain an illogical belief when you have already defined both the cause (bad moral character) and the effect (taking you for granted) in playing the judge, jury, and executioner. You cannot claim to know things through mere speculation, so stop leaning so heavily on Ni. Get the facts from the horse’s mouth instead of presuming to know.

Third, if you are afraid of conflict, you’re never going to get very far in relationships, because relationships are inherently messy and full of conflict. Two people cannot reach a place of mutual acceptance without going through the process of reconciling their differences. There’s nothing wrong with individual differences, the issue is whether you are genuinely able to accept that they exist, on both ends. The decisions that you have made indicate that you can’t accept your feelings. You say that you focus on having a good time, which is often the indirect Fe way of saying that your true feelings remain hidden. By not raising this issue in your relationships, you inadvertently inform other people that your feelings don’t matter, and downplaying yourself cannot lead to a satisfying relationship, can it? It is the fact that you have left your feelings unresolved for so long that makes this situation into “a thing” that you now fear raising with them and now even motivates you to slam the door. The molehill (of innocent differences) has become a mountain (of negative condemnations).

You can’t expect that others will know how to accommodate your needs if you never make your needs known. How are people supposed to know how to care for you if you don’t instruct them? How are you to know why they don’t initiate contact if you never ask them? The point is that these discussions are necessary and constructive for relationship building. If you want to get better at having them, then start having them and learn from any missteps. Communication is an art, a dynamic process that requires adapting to the circumstances of the moment. There are some things in life that mere speculation can never prepare you for, so stop leaning so heavily on Ni. Learn how to do it by simply doing it and gaining experience.

#infj #infj relationship #auxiliary fe #ti loop #friendship #communication #ask