#i don't think she should have been in it or anything but i just love her and want her to get as much screen time as possible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

panchatea · 2 days

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Aletheia & Etterath

ChaCha Story Commissions.

Gahyeon x Male Reader ft. SuA

Tags: Romance, Lover’s Sex, Dreamcatcher, Gahyeon, SuA, Fluff, Melodrama

Wordcount: 11956

LAST PART OF THE SERIES

PART 1 - Aulasy & Kairoclerosis

PART 2 - Amour & Liaison

A/N: This is the last part of this series. Yey! I hope it's okay, I haven't written anything this technical before and I haven't written smut for more than a year. please do tell me how is it. It's not perfect but yeah.

Support me on KOFI

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“Unnie, do you love me?” There’s just something that has always been both a blessing and a curse for me. People seem to think I am just a dumb pretty face who is unaware of anything around her—even my members always treat me like I'm a child.

However, the truth is, I know…

I observe and I always watch.

I know.

I just don't talk.

“Gahyeonie, of course, I love you.” She smiled caringly as she continued to wipe that iniquitous body of hers that I’m so jealous of—slender, sexy, toned, and petite so unlike my curvy voluptuous body. Well, despite my jealousy of her body and other things, I’m glad to have her, she loves me so genuinely like her own sister.

I love her too.

But I know…

She’s jealous of me too, and makes me so happy.

“Do you love him too?” She smiled again, but this time it was almost too bittersweetly. Bora-unnie opened her mouth and she didn't speak for a moment.

“Of course, I love him.” I know you. That was your true feelings, wasn't it?

“Every member loves him. He’s cute and he takes good care of you. There's no way we wouldn't love him.” That was true. She didn't lie, but it was far from her truth.

Nonetheless, I just tucked myself in the sheets and pretended to sleep. I just didn't know what to say to her or you so I held back. It wasn't before I felt her warm body beside me. It was Bora-unnie.

She's always been good to me. She always took good care of me. What's mine could have been hers, but she didn't take it. She gave you to me.

I always knew.

I saw it.

That spark in your eyes the first time you met her. Time must have slowed for you during those five seconds.

The way you listened intently to my stories, but you always had ears for things about her. You were always curious, but you never asked.

The way you glance over her reaction whenever they teased us of being lovers before.

The way she had always greeted you first. And was always there watching over us two.

You two always had an eye for each other.

It always felt like she wanted you.

And when you asked her about love.

When you said “I love you” to her.

I knew.

“Can’t fall asleep?” I heard Bora-unnie say. I thought it was for me, but then…

“Noona, what will happen from now on?” You answered her from my left side. I only noticed your presence then, maybe from all the thinking.

“I honestly don’t know,” Bora-unnie said as I felt her warm embrace engulf me, “she didn’t say it but I think she knows, but I’m too scared to ask.”

And I’m too scared to tell you two. Why didn’t I just wish the two of you to live happily? Why must you two hurt because of me?

“I’m happy and grateful for her tonight so I decided not to be greedy from now on. Tonight might happen again or not ever again but either way, I’m fine with it,” she continued as her hug tightened.

I’m the one who should be sorry for ruining something beautiful between the two of you. I’m sorry for being selfish, but I’m sorry because I don’t regret it.

“Whether she might decide to keep this sexual thing going or decide to acknowledge my feelings for you and let me share your relationship with the three of us or just bury it, I will not complain and do something.” I already did acknowledge it Bora-unnie, but the moment you surrendered him to me, that was when you already lost.

“After all, I already gave you up to her ever since that day, and it’s a decision I don’t wanna take back and regret,” she said lastly. The pain was apparent in her tone. Her hands that hugged me were shaking. You sighed, you were quiet, you were just listening, and I wish you had expressed your thoughts more, but as usual, you were reserved.

“So that’s it?” You said with a tone of acceptance and defeat.

“That’s it,” She agreed before breaking her hug and turning her back to drift to sleep.

I opened my eyes, only to be met by your sleeping face.

The face of the man that I love.

The man who I wish loved me as much I love him, but sadly I’m not confident.

What a player. It feels conflicting. I don’t plan on giving you up, but I’m not sure what these emotions are or what should I feel. You never cheated on me with her. You never did anything to compromise this relationship. You worked so hard to show your love for me, but whenever Bora-unnie is here, it always feels like you are chained to her, and she only pulls once, then you’ll leave me. I’m always at the mercy of her pity for me. Your words earlier still linger in my ear. I trust you and your words.

“I loved you but I love Gahyeon.”

“Thank you, but please wait for me… at least until I can make a decision”

That's what I said but then again,

I knew…

I would still choose you even if you don't.

And I wish,

You would choose me too.

The next day after that night was anticlimactic. It was awkward eating breakfast that morning. Everyone was quiet while eating the hotel room service food. It was a simple breakfast of toast, honey, butter, bacon, eggs, and coffee.

“This breakfast reminds me of Europe, we would eat this every day and I kinda missed the usual Korean breakfast after a while,” Gahyeon reminisced and you followed the conversation by asking about things about their tour while SuA stayed quiet, just listening to the two of you until breakfast was over. Gahyeon was weird today. She wasn’t doing that thing while she ate.

SuA excused herself, saying that she had an appointment and left you two alone.

“I’ll go now, Kids. Take care you two.” SuA said before she left. SuA looked rather down, she wasn’t being her usual mature and mischievous self. It felt like she had a problem she couldn’t share.

“Worried?” She asked you.

It became even more awkward when you and Gahyeon were left alone inside the room. No one dared to talk about what happened last night. It felt like there was a wall between the two of you and Gahyeon had a lump inside her throat that she couldn’t get out. She tried to smile but they were bittersweet. You wanted to say something to help her but there was nothing, as you were painfully aware of the fact that you were the reason.

“About what?” You answered back but you knew it was about SuA leaving so abruptly.

“I have no things to worry about.” You added as you smiled awkwardly.

Gahyeon stayed quiet after that and sat right beside you before locking hands with yours as she leaned onto your shoulders. She was clingy, refusing to let off your hand. It was comforting and reassuring, but it might be even a call for help from her.

“Do you wanna stay like this all day?” You opted to stay with her.

“No, I should visit my mom and dad. I haven’t seen them for so long,” She said and asked you to drive to her parent’s house. They haven’t seen her for so long you agreed.

The drive wasn’t any better. It was uncomfortably quiet with only the radio music filling the air. Thankfully, it played one Dreamcatcher’s song, and Gahyeon humming along with it made the atmosphere a little lighter. It was quite a long ride, but you survived.

Something was going on, and you were being kept in the dark. You knew it was about SuA. About what happened yesterday? It was not like you weren’t affected either. But you knew it was because of you, and you couldn’t do much.

“I love you,” you whispered before kissing her gently on the lips in front of her parents’ house. It was the only thing you thought you could do. A gentle kiss and the words she wanted to hear the most.

Gahyeon reciprocated with a peck of her own on your lips. She inched close, another on your cheek. Before whispering her reply to your words.

“I love you too.” This time the side of her lips raised as she was almost too drawn by the black hole in front of her. Three words and a kiss were the reassurance she deserved. She turned around happily to their house.

The night before, Gahyeon wished for you to express yourself more. Say that you wanted her as much as she wanted you. Reject Bora flatly, but instead, what she got was only you wondering and a last defeated line.

But this time, the saying of those three words and the kiss reassured Gahyeon of something. Something that made her feel less of a pitied woman and more of a chosen love.

Months have passed since then and it was like the hatchet was buried. The topic has never been talked about. Unsaid feelings and concerns were left unsaid, but you and Gahyeon continued to work on your relationship. It was like she didn’t have to bring it up, as you knew ever since that moment in front of her parent’s house—it was a testament to your feelings—it was all that was needed.

Today, there she was sitting on her chair. With that black dress’ fitting her, she would make every model in this world thankful that Gahyeon became an idol—it hugged her body tightly, proudly highlighting her gorgeous figure. Not just that, the French tips, the designer ring you gifted her, a scrunchy just in case, pink hair, and red lips, complete a date night look.

Gahyeon was a goddess.

Gahyeon no matter what she was wearing or even if she was wearing nothing at all, she would be the most beautiful girl in this world to you and many people. Today though, she was dressed extra special, just for you, and with that, you were thankful for being the one chosen by this goddess.

Gahyeon’s attention was all poured into the menu in front of her. She giggled as she looked at each page excitedly. Why wouldn’t she be excited? The meal was treated by you, and it was your second anniversary. You just stared at her, reminiscing all of the things that you two had gone through for the past year. From a rather peculiar deal after a one-night stand, a night for three naked bodies with the same girl you had a one-night stand with, and through all of that confusion and pain you had caused the girl in front of you, here you were celebrating this festive day.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m gonna melt,” she teased as she closed the menu and gestured for the waiter to take her orders before looking back at you. Gahyeon smiled naughtily as if she had concocted something mischievous inside her head.

She inched closer until there was only a few centimeters between you and her lips which made you instinctively close your eyes.

For a kiss, but you just heard giggling before you—

“Ahh! What was that?” you asked as you opened your eyes only to find the love of your life back at her seat with the same smirk she had earlier. You just caressed your forehead, trying to ease the pain of her attack.

“You looked too cute, I had to tease you.” Her laughs echoed into your ears—a symphony you would never get tired of. Sadly, that soon came to a halt as the waiter came to take the food order. Of course, the order was hers to decide alone, you had given her the privilege to do so on this special occasion.

She opted for a specialty dish, a whole pizza, a side of roasted potatoes, an assorted seafood dish, and pints of beer to keep the cold night warm.

“Yah, that’s too much, we can’t possibly finish all of that,” You said to her to which she replied with a pout, “Aish, you’re not planning on making me finish all of that?”

“Of course! It’s the man of the relationship's job to finish all the food his woman ordered.” Gahyeon pointed out before handing the menu to the waiter. There she goes, a typical girlfriend moves to use gender roles to get what they want.

The food didn’t take too long to arrive. And it also didn’t take any for you two to enjoy the feast in front of you.

“Here try this,” Gahyeon offered you a spoonful of the specialty dish she ordered which you gladly accepted shyly before she herself tried it. Whether she was sweet or she wanted to see how it tasted first, her mixed expression said it was both.

“How was it?” She asked and you just nodded. Gahyeon never was the kind to hide her affection. She didn't even try to hide the relationship from the media. For a while it became a headache for her management, but with time and effort, it all became fine. Now it is an open fact that Gahyeon from Dreamcatcher is dating a non-showbiz man.

“It’s delicious!” Gahyeon blissfully exclaimed after she took a bite. You smiled unknowingly while watching her—it looked like it was worth it to book this restaurant months earlier for this date. She was happy—the way she hummed as she ate was a testament to this.

“Don’t stuff yourself too much or you’ll end up complaining to me later that you gained weight,” you teased her as you too stuffed yourself with the delicious food. She glared at you—never mention gaining weight with someone who controls theirs for their job. An idol needs to always stay in shape after all—their almost impossible-like figures.

“I’m sorry.”

Time passed like that. You two passed bicker on to each other. Talking about all the mundane things. Just there, enjoying the company of each other.

The night has been perfect so far. The cold breeze was countered by the alcohol, delicious food alongside great conservation, and the reincarnation of beauty and kindness, your date Gahyeon has been nothing but lovely(also a teasing master), there was no reason to be unhappy.

“I said to stop staring at me like that.” She looked at you sourly, pretending to be annoyed at you.

“I wasn’t, I wasn’t looking at you!” you retorted at her. “I was looking at that last piece of pizza.”

You took it, bit on it, and she looked like hell rose and her soul left her body.

“But, I was gonna take that last piece,” she dejectedly said as she pouted at you.

“Yah! You, we’re breaking up! You stole my pizza.” Gahyeon pointed her fork at you, threatening you with it.

“Come on now, fox, I’m sorry. Here take the piece.” You placed the pizza on her, but she just glared at you.

“But, you already took a bite!” She moved the piece back to your plate but you refused and placed it again on her plate.

“No! This is betrayal! Did you know wars started because of pizza!” Whelp, that was clearly an overreaction. Or maybe not, you made a mental note to search later which historical event she might be referring to.

For the second time, she returned the pizza. And by then you had already noticed other guests from the tables near you looking. Not that it was embarrassing you, but being a cause of distraction to other people was bad.

“Babe, I’m really sorry,” You apologized sincerely. “Look, we can order another pizza if you still want them. We can also take them as a takeout for later.”

“The next time, I promise I’ll ask you, if you want the food before I eat it, okay?” You held out your pinky, and she raised just her eyebrow and crossed her arms as you wiggled the finger in front of her.

“Hmm, k. You better order the same one!” Gahyeon hooked her finger onto yours and stood up. It all happened too fast and before you even knew it, her lips connected to yours, not caring if it was a public display of affection or if she could be photographed by a random fan.

You two had done it more than times you could ever count, but it was still as magical—her soft supple lips landing on yours, staining it with her red lipstick.

“Be ready, I think you’ll be on Dispatch tomorrow,” Gahyeon smirked as she disconnected her finger from yours and snatched the piece of pizza on your plate before she sat again and ate it. You will definitely be on Dispatch tomorrow after that, but this time, it won’t be a controversy but it is to report about Gahyeon’s successful relationship.

As for you, you shyly sat there—red as an apple after that scene straight out of a KDrama.

You shyly gestured for the waiter.

“Can we get the check and then a pizza for takeout,” you said to the waiter as Gahyeon continued to enjoy herself, taking pictures as she ate her food. You took out your phone to capture some photos.

It was such a mundane thing, but it was so beautiful. Her just being there, eating the food you treated her comfortably without any care in the world.

The way she smiles.

The way she munches her food.

It was love when even the most boring things became the most interesting.

There was no worry in this world with you and her in it. It was proving how fruitful your efforts were in this relationship.

You love her and that is all that matters. You wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone. That was what you decided ever since that day.

Soon the waiter came with a box of pizza and the check for the food. You paid for everything and got ready to leave. The night was still young, there were so many things to do, and there was only so much you could do.

Not much time after, Gahyeon found herself walking alongside the beach, and you followed her from behind. The air was cold to feel, the song of the ocean resonated to the ear, her footsteps left prints on the sand beneath, and her dress flew and formed waves like the ocean’s.

It was a sight to behold.

There was just a certain kind of beauty as the moon just shone on her like it was a spotlight, her porcelain skin glowed as if it was reflecting the moon like the water does. The focus was all just for her and everything, even the breathtaking view just became a backdrop to her beauty. It was a picturesque sight that would forever be imprinted on one’s brain.

However, it wasn’t anything special. Rather it was just Gahyeon and your eyes. The eyes that allowed you to see her for who she was. It wasn’t because of her beauty, or her personality, it was Gahyeon as a whole.

What people don’t really understand was that attraction and love are two different things.

Seeing someone and wanting them is attraction.

Seeing someone and wishing to be with them is love.

Of course, attraction is normal among lovers, but there is a fine line between lust, infatuation, and love. To which is what is underneath all that attraction. The normality and comfort of just being in her presence. Gahyeon isn’t the goddess or the idol of everyone. The difference between your love and the love of her fans is that you don’t look up in the sky for her—seeing her in glasses of such absurdity and obscurity.

Gahyeon is there.

She’s always been there up ahead. She’s not up there on a pedestal.

She’s there with you.

And that’s what you call Love.

And that’s when you truly see. It was not the glow of her skin under the moonlight, or the way her pink hair and black dress swayed to the blow of the sea breeze, or the way that sight was like a masterpiece waiting to be captured and kept in an art museum.

It was again only Gahyeon. Gahyeon who was just walking alongside the beach. Gahyeon, who was stuffed with all of the food she ate. Gahyeon, who probably was feeling cold, because one, she wore sleeveless, two she didn’t bring any jacket even though you told her to do so earlier, and three, because it was simply cold during that night.

Gahyeon makes you worry. Gahyeon makes you feel unease. Gahyeon makes you hurt. Gahyeon makes you wanna care. Gahyeon makes you feel alive. Gahyeon makes you cry. Gahyeon makes you laugh.

Gahyeon is Gahyeon.

She took out her phone, pointed it onto the horizon, and soon you felt a vibration inside your pocket.

“The moon looks so beautiful isn't it?” Her message said alongside the picture of the horizon as if you weren't there with her. You smiled as you typed the reply.

“Come on, why are you acting like I’m not even here,” you said as you approached her and nudged her. She giggled and looked at your face for a second before she went back to staring at the horizon. You dropped the pizza that you ordered as takeout at the sand, took off your jacket, and shielded Gahyeon from having a cold later tonight.

“I knew you’d do that. That’s why I didn't bring a jacket. It is a boyfriend thing to do,” she commented and you just giggled in response.

“The moon looks so blue.” There it was up above the skies, shining alone brightly. It must have been lonely. There were no stars above and even if there were, no matter how it seemed like they were close to each other, they were truly drifting away from each other. It was scary.

She held your hand. Tightly as if she was scared you would just disappear through thin air. It was sweaty and cold, but she didn't mind.

“I prefer the red sunset.”

Yes, that red sunset back when we were just teenagers without any care in the world, chasing our dreams, and then and there I knew I only had one dream.

And it was to be with you.

It was funny because I was making fun of how frail you were, and how you wouldn’t be able to run a mile. You wouldn’t be able to reach the beach at the end of the town. Your house was on the other end of the town after all.

But you did, and the first thing you did was send me a photo of that beautiful red sunset.

t was so beautiful.

It made me happy.

You were amazing and it was beautiful.

I could imagine how you were frowning when I replied and said how pretty it was.

I mean, you sent it to me to show how amazing you were right?

It made me so happy so I took my bike and pedaled all the way to you.

You were so funny. I caught you complaining.

“Not that! I want her to know how awesome it is that I ran here!” You exclaimed.

“Oh, you didn’t want to show me the sunset?” You didn’t even notice that I was behind you.

“That’s right… not the sunset…” That was when you realized, and looked back before jumping out of shock.

“Gah, what are you doing here?” You asked me.

“Talking to you last time made me want to see the sunset.” That is what I answered, but the truth is…

I wanted to see you. I even brought you a bottle of water. You drank as we sat on the sand.

“I’m so happy,”—I expressed— “you ran all the way here to send me a picture of that beautiful sunset.”

“It’s not like that…” you denied but you were blushing. You continued mumbling, trying to come up with an excuse. You were so cute, you didn’t know what to do and you couldn’t even understand what you were feeling.

I called out your name. You were so rattled.

“It’s so red, isn’t it?”

“Red? Am I blushing?”

But I just said…

“It’s a beautiful red sunset. So pretty…”

“The sunset? It sure is. It’s red, isn’t it.”

“Well, it’s not as red as you.” I couldn’t really help but tease you. Your reactions were so cute.

But really… I was so glad.

I could watch that beautiful sunset with you.

Those were the days.

That was also the day, I realized… It wasn’t a crush.

I love you.

“Red sunset?” Your question brought back Gahyeon from her trance.

“Yes, I wanna see it again,” Gahyeon said as she continued to watch to the horizon while you watched her.

“Is this that beautiful?” You asked her.

“Yes, it was so beautiful,” Gahyeon answered. She turned to look at you and locked eyes.

“Yes, beautiful.” She giggled.

“Take me to the beach again soon,” Gahyeon asked full of expectations.

“Why?” You asked but you already made a mental note to plan another beach trip. Maybe this time back in yours and Gahyeon’s hometown. You remember visiting alone the last time you drove her to see her parents, and it was beautiful. Maybe you two could eat some crabs and other seafood.

Gahyeon loves seafood a lot after all.

“I wanna see a nice red sunset again. Also, I really want to catch some crabs.” Gahyeon said and rubbed her stomach. Is she a mind reader? Or was she just thinking about using her stomach? Either way, it made you laugh a little. You expected her to say something about food.

“Then, we should go earlier than today so that we catch some crabs while we wait for the sun to set.” It’s been decided. You don’t when, but you knew it was gonna happen, maybe when Gahyeon’s schedule loosened up again.

“I wonder how many I can catch.” She said after you ruffled her pink hair. Gahyeon retaliated, trying hard for you not to ruin her hair that she had so much time to perfect just for your anniversary date. When she finally was able to stop you, she glared at you and pouted cutely.

“You won’t be able to and you’ll make me catch them instead.” You just laughed as you tried to fix her again. You know her too much. Gahyeon would say that it’s a boyfriend thing to do to catch crabs for her girlfriend and cook them—she would leverage her girlfriend card again.

“That’s rude, I can do it too.” She slapped your hand and fixed her hair herself. Of course, her slap didn’t use too much force. Gahyeon is sulky girlfriend but she doesn’t want to cause you harm.

“I didn’t say, you can’t. I’m saying you’ll be too scared to do so.” She threw punches. Again they were not hurtful, but she was throwing a real tantrum and if you don’t calm her, she will sulk for the rest of the date.

“Come, sit here.” You held her hand and pulled her to sit on the sand near where you put down the takeout food from earlier.

“Open the pizza. I’m hungry.” She ordered to which to gladly followed. As soon as the box revealed the food, her eyes widened. Gahyeon, who was almost drooling turned her mood upside down because of the luscious pizza in front of her. She couldn’t restrain herself, as she excitedly hummed before she went for a piece and ate it.

“You’ll get fat,” You commented and she nudged you while her mouth was still stuffed.

“You’ll exercise with me, don’t worry,” Gahyeon retorted and you just laughed as you too took a piece.

The box of pizza was emptied as the night went on. Conservation under the moon went by faster than normal and that’s okay. As long as it was with her, time spent was time spent well.

Soon she decided that the cold ocean breeze was not doing it for her anymore and opted you two to leave the beach. Hand-in-hand you two went back to your accommodation for the night—a hotel near the beach and the restaurant.

The hotel room was nice. It wasn’t anything special like what most fans would thought idols were always staying in. It was a small suite with a single bed, kitchen, bath, and a balcony that overlooks the ocean. It was nice and not over the top. Gahyeon loved it. As soon as she entered the room, flopped and bounced on the bed, playing as if she still had so much energy to burn.

“Come on, our anniversary night is still not over!” Gahyeon had her arms open wide, tempting you to jump on her arms. It wasn’t an offer anyone could refuse. A woman as cute and attractive as she flopped her arms open wide on top of a fortress of pillows and mattress, there was no way you would pass on that.

It was a long night that you wish wouldn’t end.

You didn’t waste any more time to accept her offer as soon you were engulfed by her arms. You were on top of her, pressing onto her as she caressed the back of your head. Gahyeon smelled nice. Gahyeon always smells nice. Her smell made you feel relaxed, and her hug was comfortable. She gently ghosted her hand back and forth of your hair as she hummed your favorite song.

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It felt like a baby being held and hummed to sleep. It felt like heaven. It felt like home. It felt like the right place. And that place was inside her nestling hug. Gahyeon cuddled you, and you nestled back. Her voice was angelic. It was a known fact, but hearing her voice almost whispering the melodies of love, was the greatest fan service only available to you.

Your phone vibrated a few times, but you ignored it as you focused only on her and her alone. Relish the moment while it lasts. Take advantage of each second before it passes. For God JiU’s sake, it was your anniversary and nothing is more important than Gahyeon and you—it was probably just some work problem needing of solution anyway, they could at least handle it for one night.

Before you even knew it, Gahyeon finished her song.

“Thank you for putting up with me.” She whispered.

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m your boyfriend.” You answered back.

“Do you lo—”

“I love you,” you cut her before she could the question to allow her to hear the words. However, she didn’t do so after all.

“I love you too,” Gahyeon whispered before she pushed you off her and got off the bed with a mischievous smile.

“You’ll suffocate and squish me if we stay this way for long,”—Gahyeon pointed at you—“Special cuddling fanservice session is finished.”

This time you were the one to pout at her.

“No fair, I wanna cuddle more,” You complained.

“Take care of that constant vibration on your phone first while I take quick shower.” Gahyeon winked, “We’ll do something special when you come back.”

In the blink of an eye, Gahyeon disappears to the bathroom after insinuating something naughty for later. You were left in a daze for a few seconds, imagining what she meant by her words. You were only able to break the trance after a vibration.

You finally opened your phone only to be shocked by what was on the screen which made your smile turned upside down.

You quickly went down to the hotel lobby, where the message on your phone led you to find her.

“I just came back from a long hiatus and you’ll greet me with that face?” She pointed out your conflicted expression.

“Noona… why are you here?” She approached for a hug, but you were quick to step back and draw a line between the two of you.

It was SuA who you didn’t hear so much after months of cutting the connection from all of you—or at least from you. You were reluctant to talk to her.

“Why are you giving me the cold shoulders?” SuA teased as she once again approached step-by-step and you backed down for each step she took.

“Noona, stop this… what are you doing.” But she didn’t listen and forcefully tried to take your hand. Of course, you had more strength than her but being forceful to someone you cared about was hard.

“I’m taking you with me,” SuA declared as she tried to pull you, but you just didn’t let her as she pleased.

“Noona, I’m not going with you. Where? Where were you even? Where are you trying to take me?!” You lashed out at her. Thankfully, no one was around to see the scene. The older one just stared at you annoyed that you didn’t listen to her.

That standoff took a few seconds before you turned your back to walk away. You were finished with her. You were not doing this. Atleast, not on your anniversary night. You were not going to get swayed by her.

“Didn’t you say that you love me?”—her words stopped your steps—“Prove it to me now, ran away with me.”

Turn back. Look at her. Hear her cries.

“I love you.” Beads of tears slowly fell down her gorgeous face.

“Please, say it.

I wanna hear it again.

Say that you love me.

Choose me.”

It was painful, watching her cry fully knowing that you were the reason.

“I love Gahyeon.” Three words. One sentence. One name that wasn’t her.

It was short but meaningful. You didn’t regret. You were straight. You didn’t apologize for either hurting her or not choosing her. You said it. And that broke SuA.

“I shouldn’t have let you go.” Those were the words that escaped SuA's mouth as she realized it was too late and where it all went wrong for her—where she lost. You helped her. She looked so frail. What did she even do all this time?

“Noona…” SuA wiped her tears and quickly composed herself.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” SuA faked a smile and you returned it to her with a caring one.

“I’ll be off your back, don’t worry,” SuA said as she tried to walk away. You stopped her. You held her hand, but just like what you did earlier.

“Where are you going?” You asked her worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I already told Minji-yah that I’ll be coming back. I ain’t going nowhere,” She explained as she walked away.

“Let’s catch up soon.”

She looked back.

She smiled bittersweetly.

“Tell me, when did you realize that you love her?” Those were her last words before she walked away and left you speechless. However, maybe it wasn’t really what she wanted to ask, but rather the words were…

“When did you realize you didn’t really love me?”

It didn’t take long before SuA was no longer in sight. And her words are still stuck in your head. When? When did you really realize it?

Take out your phone. Stare at the picture of the woman on your wallpaper, Gahyeon.

When did I realize I love you?

That’s a really funny question.

But really.

It was maybe sometime after we officially started dating.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure yet. I knew I loved Bora-unnie or so I thought I loved her. I wasn’t sure. I was confused at that time. But I did my best to make you happy.

To try to make it with you.

I said I love you. We kissed already. We even had sex already at that time. I’m cruel aren’t I? I’ll probably go to hell for being a liar.

I knew I didn't love you yet. I felt disgusted with myself. You were like a sister to me after all. And I was lying and taking advantage of your feelings for me.

But…

Love is a Lie.

I said and I knew it was a lie.

But I wished, for one day… I’ll be able to truly tell you without any lies. To be able to kiss you out of love. To be able to be one with you. To want you as much as you wanted me.

To love you more than you love me.

One day…

It happened.

It wasn’t like I expected it to be.

It was a normal day. It wasn’t anything special.

I just woke up and that was when I realized…

I love you, Gahyeon.

When I saw your face the moment I opened my eyes. You were far from your beautiful self in front of the camera. You were ugly. Your hair was like a broom. You were snoring. Your breath stinks. You were eating your hair and you had dried drool on the sides of your lips.

You were ugly, Gahyeon.

It made me laugh. Although, I wasn’t any better. I was just fortunate enough to wake up earlier than you. I had time to fix myself before I got called ugly by you.

But I didn't…

I went for the kiss on your drool-painted lips. Mine wasn’t any different.

But this time it was different.

I kissed you because I love you.

I love you.

Not anyone else.

How could I be so blind when you were here all along?

I kissed you again and it felt so right.

But I accidentally woke you up.

You were smiling. That was the brightest smile I've ever seen in my life. You giggled as the sun funneling through the window illuminated you.

“Your breath stinks,” you teased.

“Please, brush your teeth then come back and kiss me,” you added.

It was funny. Yours stinks too! I didn't mind it at all, and I bet you didn't mind mine too.

That morning was a drop of dew. And I just watched you with love. The way you walked around with your disheveled hair and just my shirt on. You didn't care at all. Why would you? It's just me, the man you love.

You were so lazy that I had to brush your teeth and tie up your hair. If only your fans could see you, I wonder how they would react?

You're a slowpoke, Gahyeon. I couldn't blame you though, with a schedule as busy as yours. I would use any free time to laze around.

“When will breakfast be ready?!” You exclaimed from the bathroom while I was in the kitchen. You always cared about food.

“In a few minutes, take your time with your routine!” You were sleepy and lazy but you were always so diligent. You never skip on anything. You always took care of yourself. Although, most of the time, I still had to take care of you.

Maybe, that's my job.

“Gah! Breakfast is ready!” When breakfast was finally ready, you sprinted to the dining table. You were suddenly but then became sheepish. You took most bites with your eyes closed.

From then I took a mental note to prepare something that would help you sleep better every night before bed.

You took each bite excitedly but still sheepishly. You hummed as you ate. You always hum when you eat. It has always been an indicator that you were eating something delicious.

“This sucks. Do you want to take cooking lessons?” That was what you right after when you literally handed your plate for a second serving.

I gladly gave it to you. Do you remember?

That morning was so bright, comfortable, and was fleeting. Before I knew it, you were going to leave for practice and I was going to work.

However, I wasn’t sad because we were parting for the day, rather, I was already expecting the bliss that I would have when I finally met in the night.

It was such a peculiar thing, but I knew right then and there when I saw your back passing through my apartment door…

I love you.

“I should go back to Gahyeon,” You muttered to yourself as you made your way back to your hotel room, but unbeknownst to you, you would find an empty room. You wondered where she was. Did she meet SuA? Or did she somewhere else?

You were worried. You tried to text her and also tried to ask the hotel staff if they saw a pink-haired girl roaming. You might have taken too long because of SuA and she went out to look for you.

That was when you received a reply from Gahyeon.

“Wait for me.” That was what her text message said.

Where were you Gahyeon?

“Unnie,” Gahyeon called who was waiting at the other end of the hallway for SuA. The older stopped and looked at the younger. Did she he—

“I saw and heard everything.” For the first Gahyeon admitted that she was there or that she was listening. She always kept to herself and was always patient whenever something like this happened, but tonight Gahyeon decided differently.

“Not gonna welcome your unnie back? I just came back from a long hiatus,” SuA commented as they faced each other. Two women, who love the same men, but while the other succeeds, the other fails.

“Well, I would be happy to welcome you with a hug and a kiss but you just tried to steal my boyfriend,” Gahyeon answered with an annoyed tone.

“I didn’t try to steal him,” SuA corrected as she approached Gahyeon step-by-step. The younger stepped backward every time the older closed in up until she couldn’t, hitting the wall behind her. SuA was so closed, uncomfortably closed for Gahyeon, but she didn’t backed down.

“He’s mine to begin with,”—No one dared to break eye contact—“He loves m—”

“He loved you, Bora,” Gahyeon cut. She said so sternly and clearly, even opting not to use any honorifics. SuA bit her lip in response to what Gahyeon said. She knew deep down it was true. She just couldn’t accept it.

“He loved you,”—Gahyeon reiterated before SuA could even retort—“What? Cat’s got your tongue? It’s true is it not?”

Gahyeon had put SuA in her place or rather, she had put her back in her place. It was harsh, but SuA was reckless. She came out of nowhere and tried to hijack their anniversary night. It was almost as if SuA went there and just hoped for the best and trusted the little hope she had. Gahyeon, on the other hand, didn’t think twice to defend her place.

“I shouldn’t have pitied y—” SuA said before biting her lip as she instantly regretted what she had said, but it was too late. Gahyeon after hearing what SuA said, had a hammer punched in her stomach. She wasn’t expecting SuA to at least not say those words. Or at least for SuA not to feel that way. Gahyeon knew her and you happened partly because SuA felt bad about her, but for it to be said in her face…

Something inside of them broke, and a bottomless pit sunk inside of their hearts.

“I don’t know you anymore.” Gahyeon pushed her, and SuA fell to the ground. She didn’t mean to push her down to the ground, just enough to put distance between the two of them. Her heart ached. Gahyeon was worried as she looked down on her as the older looked away in shame.

“Please don’t call me or him. I don’t care about our jobs. Please, I’ll find a way. Just leave.” Gahyeon walked away and SuA could only watch her as tears once again flowed out of her eyes. She knew she had not only lost you, but now she lost Gahyeon.

Gahyeon wasn’t any better, she cried and wept as she took heavy steps fully knowing she had just cut off one of the most important people in her life. They both didn’t want for things to end up like this, but emotions cascaded like a waterfall and there was no way of stopping this. There was no way it could have ended with all parties happy—it was simply impossible.

Love takes.

Love is painful.

Love comes with a price.

Gahyeon clearly remembered. She didn’t want things to end up this way. She tried. A scenario where no one was hurt, but in the end… all of you ended up hurting. It was foolish to hope. Gahyeon wiped her tears and found somewhere to sit. She closed her eyes.

“Gahyeonie, wake up.” I opened my eyes and my eyes met with daggers of light before I saw her—the face of the person I was most jealous of. SuA, who was asleep beside me. SuA who made love with me and my boyfriend.

“Swa, good morning,” I greeted, still half-asleep.

“Good morning, Baby.” She caressed my face. Her eyes… They looked so sad. She looked like she was in pain, but she smiled.

“What's wrong, Unnie? I asked worriedly. Although, once again I knew… I knew but I couldn't do anything. Or I wouldn't do anything. I would die if I were to give back what she gave me.

‘Gahyeonie, do you love him?” SuA said, almost choking on her words.

“Yes, I love him so much. I have loved him for so long.” Those were my words. Those were also the words that drove you like this.

I'm sorry for being selfish.

“Unnie, do you love him?” I asked her once again. The same question from the night before.

“I do,” She confessed, and tears started to flow down her cheeks, staining her pretty face. She confessed… it came straight from her mouth. Her true feelings.

“But I love you more.” Those words… I didn't even know how to react. It was so sincere.

I wiped her tears, but I was crying too. Everything was a mess, and honestly, I was surprised how you slept through all of it.

When you woke up, it was as if nothing happened. We had a pleasant breakfast but the atmosphere was so awkward.

But I didn't expect it. That was the last I would see SuA for a long time. She just left. If I knew I would have hugged her. But I only found out later on from JiU-unnie that she left the country and went on a sudden hiatus.

If I knew…

I should have known at that moment.

It was goodbye.

That is until now.

Gahyeon opened her eyes. She had calmed down. She stopped crying. She knew she had to return to your suite. You were waiting for her, but she knew you would notice her puffy eyes.

That she cried a lot.

“So much for an anniversary night,” Gahyeon muttered as she stood up to head to a comfort room before going back to the suite where you were waiting.

Soon, Gahyeon stood in front of the door. Nervous about how she would explain what happened or how to open up about the topic or how to even talk about it. She wasn't ready, but she knew you would ask.

“Please, don’t ask.” She grabbed the doorknob and turned it. As the door swung, she found you, and couldn’t help but smile as she found you pacing back and forth, worried about her.

“Gahyeon!” You exclaimed. You saw her and ran up to her—finally relieved that Gahyeon had come back.

Before she could even react, she was engulfed by your arms in a bear hug. Her arms enveloped back as yours tightened. Hearts were booming. You could feel it, she could feel it, every fast-paced beat booming as your hearts connected.

Gahyeon had let go. She just let it happen. She didn’t speak, she just nestled into the comfort and protection of your hug. It was her home. It was warm yet something cold on your chest countered it. It was your shirt wetted by the diamonds dripping down her beautiful face. You caressed her back, trying to lull the crying girl as Gahyeon buried her face against your chest.

“It’s okay.” Gahyeon clenched her teeth and fists, took a handful of the backside of your shirt, and bit on the fabric her mouth was able to reach. She just kept crying without uttering a word. She just released what she was holding back inside of her.

It broke your heart seeing her like this. You couldn’t do anything but caress her back and hope that it was enough to ease her pain. Several minutes passed and she wasn’t calming down. You kissed her forehead and she looked up to you.

“Do you love me?” Gahyeon asked, her eyes pleading for reassurance as they continuously stained her face with tears. You kissed her once again, but this time it wasn’t your lips and her forehead, it was her lips and yours colliding softly for a peck. She smiled brightly. You haven’t even said the words she wanted to hear, but her eyes already lit up as if she knew it was coming.

“I love you.” The words were finally uttered and it was all that was needed for Ghayeon to wrap her arms around your neck. Pull in. Let go. Hug it. Before you even knew it, your lips collided with hers once again. Close your eyes. She captured your lips and pulled you into a longing hungry kiss. Knots were tied, and two soft marshmallow muscles clashed, moving with the rhythm of her hunger.

She was a blackhole longing for love. It was scary how a woman in pain like her craved love like this. It wasn’t a sweep inside your mouth as she playfully tickled the underside of your tongue while exploring the depths only she could reach.

Gahyeon pulled out, caught her breath, and chased once again as she lured you. She started sucking on your tongue, and you gladly let her without any resistance. She pulled and sucked. She circled her tongue around yours.

Seconds passed by and the endless exchange between lips didn’t end. Seconds became minutes, and tears already stopped flowing, but the fervent kiss didn’t end there. It started with a peck and it ended up in a torrid kiss. Eyes closed and lips glued to each other. Her arms traveled around your neck while yours gently caressed her hair.

She pulled out and a string of saliva bridged the two of you. Her eyes still brimming with hunger as yours locked with her lovingly. She wanted more and you would gladly give anything for her.

“Do you love me?” Gahyeon asked once again. This time you were the one to capture her lips and Gahyeon couldn’t help but smile while her lips were still connected to yours. Glide from her back to her lower hips as Gahyeon cupped your cheeks as she continued devouring you.

In one swoop motion, you lifted her off the ground, resulting in a momentary disconnection between the two of you. That didn’t matter though as she was quick to clash lips once again while you tried to excruciatingly navigate around the suite to get into the bedroom almost blindly.

You had hit several corners. Topped down appliances and broke a few glasses before you found a counter to sit Gahyeon on. It wasn't the destination, but you soon would get there but for now.

She was laughing and smiling, you were in a crazy haze. You pulled back. Eyes locked as the playful hands grabbed onto the ends of her black dress. You didn't waste any moment as her porcelain skin revealed itself as you peeled that dress off her—from the tips of her toes, her luscious legs, toned stomach, and torso. A momentary break of eye contact as the garment blocked your sight of her.

Look up and down. Magnificence exuded as inch and every corner of her felt it was sculpted by a higher being itself. Her porcelain skin felt like clouds on your palm, and the way her body subtlety reacted… each touch shivers, each touch was electrifying.

Gahyeon wasn't one to just be the one almost on her birthday with only her matching black lingerie. She pulled you by the hand, grabbed your shirt, and didn't waste any moment to remove it. She ogled at you—it was a sight for her—it was the prize that was for hers alone.

“You’re mine,” Gahyeon said, asserting her ownership over you as she bit her lips, almost drolling while eyeing you. She didn't waste any more time as she pulled even closer for another make-out session—this time more athirst. Each feathery touch made her more hungry, intoxicated, and addicted. Kisses were her morphine—each one made her forget the pain and put her on a high.

“I’m yours.” You broke the kiss. You traveled from her lips to her left ear as you engulfed her for a hug. She wrapped her leg around your hips. The distance was small. It didn’t allow any wild movement, but that was okay, being able to see her gorgeous face up close was more than enough. This time she was smiling. You had only seen it through your peripheral vision, but her lips, her eyes, they both were happy.

“Shut up, carry me to the bed, and fuck me,” Gahyeon ordered. Giggles left your mouth as you gently carried her off the countertop table. She hugged you and nestled on your shoulders. She rested and relished once again taking advantage of the comfort of your warmth.

Soon you laid her down on the bed. While you caught your breath, you took a moment to once again look at the art in front of you. She wasn’t crying. Gahyeon was happy. She was anticipating. She was like a kid waiting for her request to be granted. You could stare at her all day, but her order, you needed it as much as she did.

You smirked at her as you unbuckled your pants and stripped down to your birthday suit. She smirked back and taunted you with her body. She didn’t have any intention to remove her lingerie. She wanted you to do it. Although fucking her with that sexy lingerie still on was still also an option, you wanted her to be as bare as you were—completely naked and vulnerable.

“Why are you so lazy?” You grabbed the hem of her black thong and tried to peel it off her. It was stubborn, and her ass held on to it. You lifted that peach ass of hers that she spent so much time in the gym to achieve for a moment just to get it off, began to slowly remove it off her lips, making its way down her smooth and slender porcelain legs, and revealed a treasure, her smooth, glistening pink lips.

You wanted a taste. You wanted to tease her. So you dove right into the treat in front of you. You started with kisses up and down her inner thighs, gaining soft moans while your lips repeatedly contacted her warm skin. You planted wet kisses on her thighs again, but this time dangerously near her wet folds.

“Just do it already.” Gahyeon was already squirming. She wanted it, and a lick down her thighs, staining her pristine thighs with long licks garnered even more moans. You giggled mischievously while she was getting more and more impatient, but before she could complain once again, the first lick came in, tracing her pink slit—one long sweet taste of her wet folds.

Teasing her might have backfired as she grabbed onto your head, and pushed you in her legs forcibly, forcing you to continue eating her. You didn’t have any choice, buried in her crotch, you accepted your fate, and her delicious pussy. Explore every corner. Reach the deepest depths. You dove in to find out how deep your tongue could reach inside her. You basked and inhaled the aroma of her pussy. You didn’t let any of her juices pass your mouth. And Gahyeon took it all in, receiving all of it, moaning and expressing how pleasurable it was all.

You let your hot breath blow against her crotch, and she whined in response. Quickly, you went in with an up-and-down motion deep inside using your tongue. She cussed, she moaned, and she quivered as you continued eating her out.

“More!” She exclaimed as if that was the cue, you put pressure on her clit. You swirled around it, gaining louder and more high-pitched moans as you ran circular patterns on it. Push and swirl. You gently pushed it with your tongue, then took it in your mouth and sucked on her clit.

Her legs squished, and her nails dug in deeper and deeper as every second passed by. She pushed you deeper in hopes that your tongue would reach deeper inside her slits. It was getting harder to breathe as minutes went by. Your head was going numb from the pain from her nails digging. Her wet pussy almost drowned you. Buried against her crotch, all you could do was go crazy, trying to taste and service her as much as you can, sucking her wet and delicious pussy as you turned Gahyeon into a squirming mess.

The only option was to tap out. You forcibly disengaged, simultaneously edging her. It wasn’t time for her to reach her climax, and it wasn’t time yet for a death by thighs head locking you. You licked your lips and caught your breath. You smirked fully knowing what you did as you tenderly caressed her thighs while she pouted.

“What are you looking at?” You teasingly snarked at her, and she glared at you before you got on top of her. You weren’t one to keep her waiting when you just edged her. And just like any other time before and now, you lined the tip of your cock up against the opening of her entrance and captured her lips for a kiss as you pushed—slowly and caringly, entering her inch by inch smoothly inside of her already soaking wet quim.

Gahyeon hugged every bit of your cock. She was perfectly wet and perfectly tight every time, and it was always cute how she was also perfectly cute, innocent, and sexy at the same time. Sex with her had always been a mix of comfort and excitement. With Gahyeon you wouldn’t call it sex, it was the ever-cliched lovemaking.

You started fucking her, slowly, sensually, and carefully. It was different from how you teased her and edged. You pressed bodies, allowing each other to relish the warmth of each other. You let her feel you gravitating against her. Gahyeon had your weight on top of her and she had always loved it. It felt like the sun, warm on the skin, but it didn't burn. Sweaty and almost smelly but it felt cold and fresh to be so close to her. Again and again, like clockwork, you slowly pull your member out from her, but as soon as your tip peeked out of her, you bury yourself deep inside her, causing a melody of her pleasure getting fill up.

“I love you,” she uttered in between her moans.

Again, pull, and push.

“I love you too.”

Now that you had built a slow and steady rhythm, you gradually upped the pace. Faster but not so sudden. The goal was to induce pleasure and not pain, pushing in but within the comfort of your lover just as she loved as both of you became moaning messes—quick huffed breaths—sounds of sex only the two of you know of. The smell of sex, sweat, and saliva lingered in the air. Moans, squelching noises, profanities, proclamations of love, and chased breaths, roared inside that hotel room, accompanied by the warmth of each other.

You started pounding her, faster and more vigorously than before. Full of vigor but full of control. A little bit rough but Gahyeon wrapped her leg around your lips nonetheless, she wouldn’t want you breaking off her while you thrust and looked at her with the desire to pleasure her. Her eyes shut close and she became louder, screaming at the pleasure of your cock.

For Gahyeon this kind of physical intimacy was a form of assurance to ease her fear. Gahyeon feels your love the most when you two are connected. Sex is the highest form of love. Sex is the greatest expression of it. The heat she was relishing, the roughness, the gentleness, the pain, and the pleasure were evidence of love.

It was a treasure how your palm caressed her cheek underneath all that mess. After all, she was a mess and you were a mess, but there was this certain kind of beauty and order amidst all of that and only you two knew of it—only your love knew of it.

There was no time for rest as you as that climax was coming. She didn’t want you to stop fucking, and you didn’t want to either. You fucked her hard and fast. It was a high that you knew too much of. A drug that was only available for you. A medicine that heals Gahyeon and you, but keeps you addicted. It was a contradiction, amidst all that high and intoxication, being lost in the trance of pleasure, you didn’t get lost and chased the pleasure for you alone. You chased her pleasure, and she chased your pleasure, aiming to please each other.

You found her breast, still clothed in her black brassiere. You squeezed and she whined in response and quickly tried to get rid of it, reaching for her straps and setting them aside before flipping them to expose her bountiful mounds. You dove right onto it, took her hardened nippled, and suck on it while massaging the other breast. It was softer than marshmallows, it was like you were kissed by a cloud.

However, you didn’t forget fucking her, you thrust as you sucked like a baby on Gahyeon’s breast. All Gahyeon could do was to receive all of it, and hug your head, hoping it would help you eat her better.

It was time to give attention to the unattended boob. You removed yourself from her boob and left red marks all over her breasts, and a lingering feeling of stretch on her nipple, saliva all over it. You did the same to the other boob, suckles, bites, kisses, peck, smack, smooch, and snog, all the things you could to do to make her release those lovely sounds and to compel her to hug you more tightly and to enable yourself to feel her warmth more, get buried on her breast more.

Although you couldn’t give her boob as much attention at the one as she pulled you up for a momentary rest. You made eye contact with you and chased your breath. Get pulled by her brown orbs. The tips of her lips raised, showcasing her iconic fox smile. Her eyes were as dazed as yours, but she still gazed at you lovingly before uttering the words, “Kiss me.”

“I love you, Lee Gahyeon.” You gladly complied and dove right into kissing her. Gahyeon cupped your cheeks. It was an amorous kiss you shared. A kiss to last a lifetime. One of too many. Certainly not the last but you kissed her as if it was the last. It was as sweet as the first though. You slowed down your pace to allow yourself to relish it more, the way your cock stirred her insides, the it twitches after hitting her deepest parts every time, the way it filled her, the way her lips connect to yours, the way you fuck her while you two shared a loving kiss, and the way she loves you.

Soon a knot in your loins introduced itself to you. What she was chasing for you eventually came and without breaking the kiss of the movement of your hips. You felt a built-up in your groins as her quim clenched, and tightened around your cock. It was time for her too. She tightened her hug, nails dug into your back as you slammed deep inside and pulled her out again and again until you could no longer hold it another.

One last time for the last run, putting in all of your remaining stamina. You fucked like you had every intention to impregnate her. Both of you groan in great pleasure as you let loose to release wave after wave of your thick semen deep inside her while quivered, shut her eyes, bit your lips, and bucked her hips as her orgasm collided with you. An instant climax, and delight, with her plugged pussy leaking out juices that were mixed with her fluids yours. Her orgasm was strong as all of that built up in her stomach released a wave of ecstasy.

The high felt like forever. The satisfaction was great. Both climaxes subsided and you felt your flaccid member slipping out of her, and her pussy finally unplugged, leaked out your cum. After a few seconds of being frozen in place, Gahyeon released your lip and you let out a sigh of relief before licking the blood off your lip. You collapsed beside her and she turned to face you and hugged you as she tried to recover from the hot session herself.

“I love you too.” Gahyeon gave you a peck, resulting in you blushing. Out of embarrassment you turned your back on her, stood up to get tissues and that thing, and hid it underneath the box of tissues. You went back to the bed and helped her wipe herself and lean off the leaking semen in between her legs. She was smiling mischievously as you wiped her as if she was planning to tease you.

“Why are you acting shy? You’re wiping as if that’s not your cum and you didn’t just eat my pussy.” Her words made you choke and she just laughed heartily. Gahyeon was back to her usual self—cheerful and teasing master.

“I’m not, I’m just thinking about how much I love you.”

You reasoned out. It was far from what she said, but it was the truth. Looking back to all that happened, you couldn’t help but just be happy and relief that you ended up this way. It might be just a hunch but it felt like things would finally get better from here on. It was a little bit chaotic but you finally settled it with SuA. You didn’t choose Gahyeon instead of SuA. You just love Gahyeon and there wasn’t even a competition. What happened with SuA and your feelings for her won’t be forgotten, but it was a lesson. A lesson you would take as you journey with Gahyeon.

Gahyeon is love.

“Why do you have to think about that when you just have to show me?” Gahyeon gazed at you. Her eyes were full of expectation. She was looking far ahead. Looking at the things you two will do from now on. You were looking forward to it too. Gahyeon is the loveliest girl and she isn’t one to hide her love. You just hope to be more like her, and be more confident of your love for her.

“Yes, I’ll do that from now on,” You answered her. You took her hand and smiled at her lovingly. Love was truly bare. Your feelings were as bare as your naked bodies as both of you wore your hearts out. And looking at her, you knew it was time.

You took her left hand and kissed it. Gahyeon just smiled, not suspicious of anything as you reached for the ring you had hidden earlier. Gahyeon just watched. Her eyes showed a hint of confusion. You just continued smiling. Although, maybe there was a hint of nervousness and awkwardness.

“Gahyeon…” You call for her before kissing your fist, still not revealing the ring you had inside it. At this point, Gahyeon already had an idea of what was happening. Tears formed in her eyes with the anticipation of it. And she was right as you revealed the ring. Her mouth kept agape, surprised, and couldn’t believe what was about to happen. Gahyeon’s puppy eyes were both in shock and filled with bliss.

It felt like your heart was about to burst out of nervousness. Will she say yes? Will she decline? Those questions played in your head on repeat as you held the ring tightly. It was an expensive ring or anything that could put a hole in your pockets, but it was something more important. The heirloom ring from your mother. An old piece of gold jewelry with a humble diamond.

“Will you marry me?” You finally asked her and beads of clear crystal started flowing down her beautiful face. You let of her hand and wipe them off.

“Stop crying will you?” You said to her but you started crying also. With the ring, you imagined dreams of seeing her in that white dress, walking down the aisle while you wait for her at the altar. You’ll spend time off for a vacation, a honeymoon on the beachside—you know how much Gahyeon loves the beach. Maybe even starting your own family.

Fingers fidget, and hearts boomed. Time slowed down at that moment in that hotel room. You panicked and weren’t sure if you would wipe her tears first or wipe yours first, but you opted for a third option. You took her left hand once again, and carefully put the ring on her finger.

“Yes, I will marry you!” Gahyeon didn’t stop crying, but she didn’t seem sad at all. The smile painted all over her face said it all, and seeing that made you feel warm inside. It was burning, but it didn’t hurt at all. Neither of you stopped crying but it was okay.

It was a beautiful moment to share. She hugged you tightly, and you reciprocated until you found yourself sharing a kiss. A lovely kiss. Then once again locked eyes, gazing at each other, ever smiling and happy.

Her smile was beautiful. Her happiness was the most beautiful thing to exist. And you’ll do anything to protect that.

Yes, just like that day.

That one cold winter night.

We were out late because of a schoolwork project. The other kids had already gone home and were the only ones to go in the same direction so we walked together. Well, I wouldn’t let a girl walk home that late at night.

We were walking and at that time, we weren’t particularly close or friends yet.

But we ended up talking.

You talked about your dreams. And I talked about mine.

It was just fun.

And maybe,

That was when I started developing something for you.

Well, I realized too late that it was love.

But maybe at that moment, I fell in love with you unknowingly.

All of you were just too beautiful.

The moon bore witness to it.

Your laughs.

Your smile.

Your eyes.

Your dream.

Your everything.

That was when Jasmines bloomed in winter.

Aletheia & Etterath

*Series End*

***

A/N - idk did I do something? i think it's bad HAHAHAH

#reader insert #panchatea #kofi commission #kpop smut #readerinsert #dreamcatcher smut #dreamcatcher #gahyeon x reader #sua x reader #Youtube

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thinkingaboutjaedyn · 11 hours

Text

my heart over yours; part two | j.fleming x reader

prompt: your attention is suddenly not fully on jessie and she's not taking it well.

author notes: here's the part two y'all wanted 🥳 thanks for all the love on the first part like i swear i seen everything, just too nervous to say anything back lmaoo. regardless i hope this meets expectations 💗 enjoy! p.s. i swear the fic reads better while listening to the song...

contains: ucla!jessie x reader, childhood bestie!jessie, jealous!jessie, jeffery is trying to not tweak out 💔 #failed, reader is sorta of a bad gf/about to be gf to blondie, slight guilt tripping (?) not on purpose, spelling / grammatical issues maybe ignore them, jessie is sorta mean in this..

part one

playing been away by brent faiyaz 🎵

you don't answer jessie's question right away. easily being able to spot the badly hidden irritation in her voice, she could never hide her emotions from you. your heartbeat picks up as you look away from your screen. your eyes landing on your wall before you say anything. jessie asks something else before you can even answer her first question; "what did you say?"

"jess, what do you mean what did i say? if i said i forgot.. and.." you try to figure out what to say but can't find the words to tell your bestfriend that you forgot her game and technically can't make it because of a date with some girl you hardly know from class. jessie stays silent as she gets up out of the hotel bed. leaving her phone on the bed, her camera just facing the ceiling. you narrow your eyes in confusion, but before you could even say anything jessie comes back into the frame.

she grabs her phone then sets it up against something on the nightstand next to the bed. your confusion worsens as you notice some type of shirt in her hands as she walks back a little so that most of her is in the frame; now that you can fully see her you notice that she's wearing your plaid pajama shorts and your hoodie.

"so that's where my clothes went?" you say in a joking tone, trying to lighten the mood. you smile once you see jessie let out a soft giggle. she shakes her head before holding up the shirt; showing off the backside that has your last name on it. now that you can see what the shirt actually is you can see it's a national canadian team jersey. you let out a loud laugh of disbelief, not expecting to see your name on the back in of a national team jersey ever. "jessie..what..?" you say, a smile on your lips.

jessie holds up the jersey for a few minutes before moving out of frame to go put it back near her bag on the other side of the room. she comes back to the phone, picks it up, and lays down on her bed.

"all of the team said we should get you this since you're always at every game.. sometimes.." you giggle hearing jessie say sometimes, she gives you a little eye roll before continuing, "and we were going to surprise you with it this weekend but.."

her trailing off makes you frown. guilt rushes into your mind. you have been to a majority of the canadian national team's games especially if they happened in canada; it just felt natural to support jessie and pretty soon after attending your fifth game, you weren't just attending for jessie. you went to the games to see the other national team players as well. with the whole team becoming close to you just as they are close to jessie. you're basically a honorary player.

"god, jessie-" again you try to explain yourself more, but she cuts you off again. "sorry i just keep not letting you talk, but, god.. you don't have to come if you don't want to. it's not like i want to guilt you into doing something. never that," jessie says softly. you let out a sigh at how kind-hearted jessie can really be. she was a true sweetheart.

you go silent for a few moments. thinking about the current situation and how you could possibly not hurt anyone's feelings in the process. jessie was your top priority, but sasha didn't deserve to just be blown off. she wasn't too bad; she was really a good person too. it didn't feel fair to just drop her. you let out a soft gasp when an idea comes to your mind. jessie furrows her brows as you say, "i'll come but i have to talk to sasha first. you know about the date. don't wanna just blow her off."

"oh, okay. yeah that's.. whatever," the freckled woman tries to hide the irritation that's back in her tone. why did you have to talk to sasha about anything? especially something pertaining to you and jessie, not sasha. you hardly knew the girl and now you needed her opinion on decisions that frankly don't have nothing to do with her? it was slowly pissing jessie off. she fights off to urge to say that you actually don't have to talk to sasha first and you could just get on the first flight to san diego instead of wasting your time on some blonde chick who doesn't even know you; well, doesn't know you like how jessie knows you.

she wasn't even your girlfriend, just some date. hardly that, more like a project partner.

you can hear the irritation in her voice easily, again, jessie couldn't hide her emotions around you to save her life but you don't address it. reminding yourself to talk to her about it when you come down to san diego for the game.

soon enough the conversation moves away from anything sasha related with you not wanting to annoy jessie any further. she rambles to you about this show she's been watching throughout camp and how when she went to the beach she got thrown in the water and also how she saw this shop that she thinks you would like and so much more. that short time period where it felt like you two hardly talked really took it's toll on her, who else could she talk to about anything and everything? no one else. that period of time took it's toll on you too. you didn't realize how much you missed jessie until you talked to her for hours.

that night she refused to let you hang up, not that you were going to. asking (pouting at you) for you to fall asleep on facetime with her. you obviously agreed; falling asleep first. once you fully fell asleep, jessie took a few facetime photos. putting them in her folder in her gallery that she has for you. eventually she drifts off to sleep too. sasha long forgotten.

in the morning you're the one who hangs up first at the dismay of jessie. the canadian player tried her hardest to get you to stay on the phone until she had to go training which was in two hours. unfortunately, you had a morning class and felt weird about staying on the phone while in a classroom of nearly hundred people.

"i'll be silent, c'mon," jessie pouts. her hair is an absolute mess, stray hairs flying everywhere out of her loosely tied ponytail. she's still so tired. you can tell by how she's trying to keep her eyes open; her tired voice makes you smile.

"no, jess, you c'mon. you are so noisy when you're getting ready," you say. jessie lets out a groan before shaking her head, "no i'm not. i think you confused yourself with me because that's all you."

"stop lying to yourself, freckles."

"whatever, whatever. go ahead and leave me here.. all alone.." you roll your eyes at jessie's dramatics. she groans again when even her dramatics don't work. you finally hang up after promising her that you would call her tonight. she texts you hardly a minute after you hanged up,

freckles 💗

you woke me up, left, and now i can't sleep 😐

you

that's not even my fault

blame ucla

freckles 💗

im not saying you should have skipped class for your long term bestfriend..

but im not saying you shouldn't have

you

did someone replace my bestfriend?

my jess always forced me to go to class so..

freckles 💗

👎👎👎

not replaced it's called upgraded

you send a few texts back before slipping your phone into your bag. it seems that jessie falls back to sleep as you don't feel no vibrations from your phone as you walk to your first class.

the day passes by slowly as you bounce from class to class. why did you pick this major again? you can't even remember at this point. jessie sent you a few photos of her eating breakfast earlier. those made you smile and feel a little less exhausted. if only she was here. the day continues on and eventually you reach the class where sasha is in.

you two haven't talked since she asked you out yesterday. you were busy talking to jessie and you guess sasha had other things to do as well. now she's sitting next to you in class. sasha's playing with your fingers while telling you about how she struggled to cook dinner last night. you make a few jokes about how she could probably burn water if she had the chance which makes her give you a playful push to the shoulder.

"uh, sash. can i call you that?" you ask softly, unsure about giving her a nickname. sasha smiles, "of course you can. it's better than blondie, you know."

"who calls you that?"

"idiots who don't know me," she gives you a cheeky smile before shrugging, "but you do know me so don't call me blondie. alright?"

you give her a nod while smiling. the woman has a good sense of humor, you won't deny it. not like jessie's but funny. you mentally scold yourself for comparing the two; they are two different people, obviously they won't act the same.

"alright. anyways, i have something to ask you," your eyes glance over to the door of the classroom where your professor now comes though, "after though. our professor finally decided to show up." sasha giggles at your jab before nodding, pulling away from touching your hand.

the lecture lasts for nearly three hours. with the professor at the end reminding everyone to turn in their projects next week. good thing you and sasha finished that huge hunk of work earlier in the week; you didn't feel like stressing about that while down in san diego. sasha holds onto your arm as you two walk out of class then towards her dorm. "i didn't know rather your question was something important, so i wanted to give us some privacy. you know," sasha smiles as she lets your arm go.

"yeah, i get it," you walk into the vaguely familiar space after she unlocks the door. dropping your bag onto the floor next to her bed before sitting on it. you watch sasha slip her shoes off before joining you on the bed; shoulder to shoulder. for some reason you shift away, not out of rudeness. you just didn't want to be that close right now. if sasha cared she didn't say anything.

"okay, so, do you know about the usa vs canada friendly that's happening in san diego over the weekend, right?" you say, remembering how sasha and you talked about soccer sometime ago.

"yeah. what about it?"

"you know my bestfriend, jessie?" you don't notice how sasha purses her lips hearing you say jessie's name, you continue, "she plays for canada and i always go to her games. i been missing her and her entire team, so i planned to go to the game this weekend and forgot to tell you. i don't regret saying yes to the date, but i was thinking.. instead of going on the date you could come with me to the game? it would be so fun, i swear!"

sasha was feeling conflicted at first. she wanted to spend time one on one with you, so you two could possibly further this relationship between you but having the opportunity to go to an international friendly wasn't usually given to her. "yeah! okay, let's go. i been wanting to see the usa play for so long anyways," she gives you one of her usual bright smiles. seeing that smile calms your nerves. now you just had to tell jessie.

you spend almost ten minutes in sasha's dorm. just playing around and talking before you notice how it's starting to get late. sasha walks you all the way out of her dorm building, telling you to sleep well as you leave. you give her a smile before continuing to walk away.

the moment you get into jessie and yours dorm, you text her.

you

i asked sash if she wanted to come to the game

she said yes

can you get her a ticket pleasee. all the good ones sold out

freckles 💗

who is sash??

you

sasha..??

jessie just came back from training, already having taken her after practice shower and changed into some sweatpants and a hoodie. she wanted to be ready to facetime all night, no interruptions. she wasn't expecting you to text her about sasha; at least not like that. after last night, jessie almost prayed for you to text her the next day that you were coming alone. she didn't expect you to text that you invited sasha to her game. and now you're giving this blonde chick nicknames? all jessie can do is roll her eyes. she fights the urge to lie and say that she couldn't get any tickets; that the game is fully sold out, but she knows you would catch that lie easily. while jessie's thinking about it, her phone vibrates with another text from you.

you

im going to get in the shower

text me yes or no

if yes send the ticket 🙏 ur a lifesaver if yes

your text makes jessie sigh. she doesn't want to disappoint you even if it kills her. around ten minutes after you sent that text, she starts to ask around if she could get a ticket for the game. claiming it was for "a friend" she cringed saying that, but regardless. it wasn't hard to get a ticket, she is a player after all.

you get out of the shower an hour later. you're drying your hair as you move over to your bed to grab your phone; noticing a text from jessie. you smile as you read,

freckles 💗

i got one

*photo attachment sent*

you can give it to her when she comes down with you i guess

i'll just give it to you

you click on the photo, zooming in to see what seat sasha will be sitting at. your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you realize the seat on her ticket is on the other side of the stadium, away from you.

you

bro jess

that ticket isn't even near me 😭

freckles 💗

you didn't say anything about wanting the ticket to be near you

be clearer next time what 👎👎

you

be so serious..

jessie facetimes you and obviously you answer. now sitting down on your bed, your phone propped up against a plushie near your pillow. you sitting slightly to the side, trying to braid your hair. once jessie phone connects, she's pouting, "i can't see your face."

"yes you can, jess," you giggle. jessie pouts gets worse, "hardly.."

"you're such a baby," you look at the screen to see jessie resting her face against one of the hotel bed pillows, her hair a little messy and out of a ponytail. the sight makes you giggle again; how she's looking is just proving your point. jessie is a baby.

"i'm not a baby. just miss you..wanna see you," she says softly. being away from you without talking much was already tiring her out. she wasn't used to it, if you two could be on the phone all day she would. the second you step foot into san diego, you aren't getting rid of her. irritation bothers her mind again as jessie remembers that you invited that blonde to come see the game. she smiles when you say, "miss you more. i feel so bad. it's my fault we haven't been talking and seeing eachother as much."

"blame ucla, isn't that what you said earlier?" jessie jokes, "no but seriously, it's not your fault. you're just so hardworking. it's admirable"

"i know jessie fleming isn't calling someone else hardworking," you joke back. trying to hide how jessie's compliment makes you smile so hard; it's her favorite thing to tease you about. she was addicted to complimenting you it seemed. the canadian always had something good to say about you, it's a habit she gained back when you two became friends in elementary.

she scoffs, "i swear you work harder than me." right after saying that she yawns. you don't even try to argue with her. knowing how stubborn jessie can be sometimes. you yawn too, the day was tiring enough and seeing jessie makes you even sleepier. you read somewhere about how people get all sleepy around others who make them feel safe? yeah, that's what's going on here. too bad you weren't in her arms right now, instead talking to a screen. you get up out of bed, going out of the frame to go cut off the light before coming back to lay on your bed. shifting to be in a similar position as jessie.

"god, now you're copying me? you're obsessed," she jokes, making you roll your eyes. "be so serious with yourself. you are the one always wearing my clothes."

"alright. i can't argue against that," jessie yawns again. you decide this is the best time to talk about the ticket situation before jessie ends up dozing off like she always does. you shift again, pressing your face against your pillow as you pull up the cover; making your lips slightly pouty. jessie smiles seeing you all pouty and sleepy. she couldn't wait to see you in person. too bad that smile doesn't last long as you say, "why would you get sash seats so far away from me? that woman is going to be so lost."

the canadian scoffs, not wanting to talk about this right now or talk about sasha in general, ever. she curses how kind you are; why can't you just not care about this blonde girl? like you don't even know her truly. "that's the ticket they gave me when i asked. don't blame me, all the seats around you were sold out," she pushes away your concern nonchalantly.

"and since when was blondie, sash?" she asks. it's your turn to scoff, remembering how sasha said only people who don't know her called her blondie, you say, "since today. and why do you call her blondie?"

"because i don't know her name."

"you literally called her sasha the other night."

"not my fault that it's forgettable. it's not like she's my friend," jessie says, not adding in how sasha isn't your friend either. you stop yourself from rolling your eyes at her childishness. it was funny and adorable, but slightly annoying.

"ugh, alright, freckles. i'll drop it before i annoy you to death," you roll your eyes once jessie smiles. she thanks you before the conversation falls into talking about how she failed a push-up contest earlier.

you and sasha fly out to san diego the day of the match. unfortunately college made it a little hard to come out earlier than saturday with you having an exam on thursday, but still you two make it.

checking into the same hotel as the canada national team at around six, an hour before the game. getting from the airport to the hotel was easy but the traffic was not fun. at least it wasn't as bad as la traffic, but still horrible.

you're standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom of your shared hotel room with sasha. you texted jessie earlier before you boarded the plane that you would be there with her text back a quick okay since she was busy preparing for the game. there wasn't a need to text her that you were here, it's not like she would be able to answer it.

"wow, you betrayed me. canada really?" sasha playfully says as she walks into the bathroom. wearing a usa jersey that has s.mewis on the back while you're wearing your usual fleming canada jersey. you smile as you tease back, "i'm canadian. what did you expect? you betrayed me actually. really, usa?"

sasha shrugs, leaning against the bathroom counter, "gotta support the fellow tall blonde. sammy is a total beast." you just smile and don't argue back. what could say? sam mewis is a force on the pitch. it's been years since you played and even you knew that.

you finish getting ready after almost fifteen minutes. with sasha coming in and out of the bathroom while explaining that she actually really enjoyed the usa when they played, but is just a casual fan. you two leave out of the hotel room with just enough time to grab a drink before going to the stadium.

"sorry that your ticket is like so far from me. jessie couldn't get one closer," you say to sasha as you sit beside her in y'all's uber. the blonde woman takes it well, just saying that she will catch you after the game. you explain to her that you two are going to go down on the pitch after, so she shouldn't leave and go back to the hotel.

"forgot your bestie was a bigshot," she says when you two reach the stadium. shutting the car door after you get out of the backseat. "yeah. freckles is just that good," you smile, pulling sasha along to one of the entrances. once you two go inside, y'all split up. sasha joking that she'll see you on the other side which makes you laugh.

when you reach your seat, you get comfortable. sipping on your strawberry drink as you wait for the match to get started. the stadium has a nice amount of fans, with you even noticing that some seats around you are empty. shaking your head as you think about jessie's excuse last night; all the seats around you were sold out? as if. speaking of jessie, you spot her on the pitch. she waves once you two's eyes meet. quinn, who's beside her, waves as well. giving you a heart gesture that you return.

soon enough the game starts. it's fast and intense with players on both sides being aggressive in their own right. jessie even scores a goal for canada which makes you scream. she gives you a smug smile when she passes by where you are in the stands, making you roll your eyes. the match continues on with you screaming a bit more everytime things got too intense. the score line ends up being seven to six; the usa scoring a last minute goal to secure the win. your eyes look at the usa players fall into a group hug before looking around the pitch at the canadian players who obviously didn't look as overjoyed.

fans start to leave the stadium after some of the players walked around to interact. jessie is still far off somewhere on the pitch while you get out of your seat and walk over to the stairs of your part of the stands. leaning against the railing, trying to look around if you can see a certain tall blonde in the rapidly emptying stadium. you don't notice when she comes up to you. she playfully pushes your arm as she says, "told you the usa would win."

"yeah, whatever. canada is going to get y'all back next time," you tease back. you two stand near the bottom of the stairs, right where the pitch meets the tunnel. it takes a bit but jessie starts to make her way over to you. a bright smile on her lips. you can tell how excited the freckled woman is by her fast walking, making you giggle. when she gets close enough you walk onto the pitch to meet her. pulling her into a hug, your arms wrapping around her neck. sasha walks onto the pitch behind you but stays a few steps back.

"god, missed you," jessie's words come out half muffled as she nuzzles her face into your neck. her hands holding onto your waist. you sway a little, saying, "missed you more." soon jessie pulls her face out of your neck, still hugging you as she rests her head onto your shoulder. sasha and her eyes meet; jessie's hands moving lower onto your lower back, rubbing at the skin there with one of her hands going underneath the fabric of the fleming jersey you have on. the other resting on top of it.

"ew, your hand is all sweaty.." you mumble against her ear. jessie just chuckles, partially at your small disgust and partially at how sasha's eyes glance from where jessie's hands are on your body then back to meeting the canadian's eyes. the soccer player gives sasha a smug smile right before you pull away from the hug. you don't stray too far though, interlocking your hand with jessie's afterwards.

you pull jessie closer to sasha. smiling as you say, "sorry sash. we haven't seen each other in a while, so i got distracted." sasha nods, a small smile on her lips that don't really meet her eyes. she's about to speak when jessie cuts her off, "yeah, sorry.. savannah..? we just get carried away sometimes. i just been missing my bestfriend so much." you gently smack jessie's arm which makes her let out a soft ow. she looks at you and you look back.

while you and jessie are looking at each other, having a silent conversation with just eyes alone, sasha is looking at how you two's hands are interlocked. the way your thumb is rubbing on one of jessie's fingers; the way jessie gives your hand a light squeeze. her eyes look back up when jessie speaks, "sorry for forgetting your name. with the game and all, i'm just so tired."

"oh no, it's fine. we haven't even met really so i get it," sasha says. you let out a sigh of relief. just thankful sasha didn't take any offense; being rude to the only person in your entire lecture who actually talks to you would not be a good outcome. the conversation soon falls away into something else, with everyone wanting to move away from the awkward interaction.

eventually it's time to head to the bus to get back to the hotel. jessie doesn't let go of your hand once as she walks with you to the bus. sasha trailing behind. jessie stops next to the bus, glancing at sasha before saying to you, "are you going to come on the bus with me? everyone wants to see you and we were going to stop by this donut shop nearby that i know you'll like, i don't know where we're going to park such a huge bus, but we'll make it work i guess?"

you let out a giggle at her last sentence before considering jessie's question for a moment. stopping yourself from saying yes right away; jessie and donuts? you wanted to say yes badly, but then you looked behind you to see sasha and remembered that you didn't come to san diego alone.

"can't, jess. i don't want to let sasha take an uber alone. it's evening time," you explain. the blonde woman smiles hearing how you are so considerate. jessie wants to pull that smile off her face; what is she even smiling for? it wasn't some over romantic gesture. you're just a nice person. that's why blondie is here anyways because you want to be nice to people who frankly don't even hold value to you. jessie pushes away her annoyance, just saying, "okay. better come to my hotel room the moment i get to there, you have to get your donut." you smile and nod, pulling jessie into a hug before letting her go onto the bus.

sasha and you walk back to one of the entrances of the stadium. waiting for around five minutes for an uber, you hold the door open for sasha to let her in first and then you get in after.

the ride back to the hotel is awkward, but alright. you wanted to apologize for basically leaving sasha out the moment jessie appeared, but you thought that bringing it up would make everything else worse. while in the uber, sasha asks you a question, "there's this pizza place near the hotel that i been wanting to go to. never had the chance, college and all but i was wondering if you wanted to go. like tonight."

"tonight?" you look at sasha, seeing a hopeful look in her eyes. that look sealed your fate the moment you saw it; you been blowing her off all day, she deserves this one thing, right?

"yeah, sure."

you two reach the hotel before the canadian national team bus does. after going to y'all's hotel room and changing out of your match outfits. you slip into one of jessie's t-shirts and some jeans. while sasha is changing in the bathroom into a yellow sundress. while you're sitting on your bed, waiting for sasha, you get a text from jessie that the team is back at the hotel.

"i'm going to go see jessie! she's here! i'll be back soon though, i swear," you shout out towards the bathroom before leaving out of the hotel room quickly. not even catching sasha's response. you find jessie's room, the freckled woman standing there next to her door. she must have put her bag inside of her room because it wasn't anywhere near her. she's holding two donuts, smiling when she sees you walking towards her, "gotchu your favorite. had to fight off ashley for it."

"you could've let her take it. we could have shared," you take your donut, taking a small bite. you enjoy it for a moment before remembering you have come here on a mission. "okay, jessie, listen.." by your tone jessie can already tell you're about to say something she wasn't going to like.

"sasha asked to go to this pizza shop that she's been wanting to go to for so long and i have been ignoring basically all day and i feel so bad, so i'm going to go with her but once i get back, i'm sleeping in your hotel room," you say. jessie lets out a soft groan at hearing that you were going to technically blow her off for blondie. that tall chick couldn't have to want to go to that place that bad. she does smile hearing you say that you'll come sleep in her room after, but still, she wanted you for the whole night. not as some afterthought.

jessie shakes her head before saying, "i don't wanna impose but can i come along? you know i'm always hungry after games." that sentence wasn't even a lie she made up to join in on your little pizza date. you knew how hungry jessie got after every game especially if she was a starter.

"your appetite can never be squashed. whatever, c'mon," you laugh, pulling on her arm to bring her along with you down the hall.

"i haven't even eaten my donut yet and neither have you!"

"we'll snack on the way to the room!"

"what about my clothes? i have to change, i don't even have my hoodie on anymore."

"god jessie, you steal my clothes any other time. just borrow again."

you two bicker like usual all the way on the walk to the hotel room. the donuts are half gone by the time you two reach it. "so is sasha like in the room on the left or right of yours?" jessie asks. you give her a look, about to tell her that actually sasha and you got a joint room, but you don't even have to as sasha opens the door.

jessie stares blankly from sasha to you to sasha to you and finally landing her glance on you.

"what..?" jessie doesn't even hide the irritation in her voice, this was really starting to piss her off now.

author notes: woww another cliffhanger 😱😱 i hope y'all liked it because i enjoyed writing it, tell me your thoughts about it too 💔💔 all the engagement was fun last time

#jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming #woso x reader #woso fanfics

177 notes · View notes

ot9snumber1 · 3 days

Text

masterpiece

artist!son chaeyoung x reader

summary: sana's curious about that painting hung on your wall

warnings: pure smut, fucking on the canvas, implied poly!sachaeng x reader

notes: "quick blurb" to celebrate chae's day that turned into a short fic! dedicated to @nr1chaedickrider of course <3

—

you notice that sana had been staring off into the distance, her hand constantly swirling the wine as the gears turn in her head.

you follow her gaze, looking back to see chaeyoung's newest painting. to anyone else, it was unintelligible. the colors were splashed together in an almost unharmonious way, creating ugly browns in the midst of bright pinks and yellows.

to you, it was chaeyoung's greatest act of love.

"is that chaeyoung's new painting?" she asks, crossing one leg over the other. you nod, feeling the excitement creep up your neck at the thought of her figuring out what it meant. you didn't need to explain it, really, sana was a smart girl.

"looks nice." she smiles knowingly, finally sipping her drink. "you must have really inspired her." sana adds, her expression teasing. you laugh.

"you could say that, yeah."

—

chaeyoung's careful not to get any paint on her hand, making sure the lower half of your body doesn't either.

one hand is on your boob, massaging gently as she continues to push her tongue inside of your mouth. "fuck—chae—" you groan, making her smile as her fingers slowly run along your folds.

"yeah, baby, keep moving like that." chaeyoung whispers against your ear, smile growing devilish as you continue to squirm around the canvas. you aren't sure how your back hasn't hurt from the rough texture—you'd guess it was the wet paint saving you. (though, you hated how it was definitely going to dry in your hair later.)

chaeyoung's fingers slowly enter your pulsing core, slow and steady just to watch you get desperate. "shit—faster!" you breathe out, paint–covered hands reaching up to grab chaeyoung's shoulders. she didn't care if you'd leave colorful stains on her skin, it was just part of her artistic process.

she presses a chaste kiss to your lips, eyes hungry and tongue poking out as she quickens the flicks of her wrist. "anything for you, baby. just keep moving like that, yeah?" she hums, knowing her words fall on deaf ears as your eyes roll back from the feeling of her cold ring graze your entrance with every thrust.

chaeyoung doesn't tease you today. she doesn't make you beg, nor does she degrade you like she usually did. this was more than having you writhe under her—it was her sharing her greatest passion with her greatest love.

she only observes, holding your waist with one hand while the other continues to fuck you good. she's bordering on being rough, her moves were almost calculated. chaeyoung knew you like the back of her hand. she knew exactly how to get you to squirm as much as the painting needed you to.

you don't even have to tell her that you were close, the way your grip tightened on her shoulders and how your teeth caught your bottom lip was enough. "that's my girl." she smiles tenderly as her fingers curl inside you, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body as you ride out your high.

her pace slows down as she peppers gentle kisses all over your face, slowly rubbing your thighs with her other hand.

"five minutes and it's your turn to paint." chaeyoung whispers, pulling you up to sit.

you turn around to see that the canvas was only half–colored. the other half was reserved for chaeyoung's body to come undone on.

you smile excitedly, grabbing chaeyoung's cheeks and kissing her.

—

"i helped her with it."

"i can tell." sana replies. you were both standing in front of the painting now, each and every 'stroke' clear to her eyes.

she clears her throat, turning to you.

"you should tell chae to invite me next time. i'm really good at painting, y'know?" she whispers, hand on your ass.

it was a death wish for you, you think. you could hardly handle them one at a time, much less the two of them fucking you hard enough just so you'd move around the canvas.

it didn't sound like a terrible idea, though.

"i'll keep that in mind."

#son chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung x reader #son chaeyoung smut #twice smut #twice imagines #son chaeyoung imagines

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thewertsearch · 3 days

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GG: i think you are projecting your own attitude on to others […] GG: rose just sent me a code for a crystal ball, shes my friend and is basically the best! […] CA: its probably a trap i wwouldnt trust her CA: she is a cunnin and treacherous sort trust me i knoww her type GG: wait do you have a thing for her too??? GG: did she reject you or something?

Annihilate him, Jade. This would be a good time to unleash that rage you've been cultivating.

CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike

This dude's on some Methods of Rationality type shit.

I'm not sure why Eridan is on a crusade against magic. He's been insisting it was fake since his original introduction page, and it's pretty clear he has some sort of complex about it. Is there some unseen history here that we're not yet privy to?

GG: wow what are you talking about CA: so really you should be honored to inherit my old callin CA: both my armaments and my feud

To be fair to Eridan, he is accomplishing something useful here, even if it's by accident. Jade needs to get that rifle in her pen-pal's hands in order to fulfil the Endgame Bunny's time loop.

Recalling Eridan’s introduction reminds me that this is one of the most powerful riflekind weapons in existence. This should imply that top-tier weapons cost tens of millions of grist...

...but we just saw a weapon that costs much, much more.

Maybe the Proton Cannon has the same damage as the Crosshairs, but it also has an incredibly broken non-combat use.

GG: i have seen this before […] GG: i am very sure its the same rifle included with johns present […] CA: probably a cheap imitation of the original […] GG: i did not provide the weapons! GG: my penpal did […] GG: we worked on it together but he supplied the bunnys weapons GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson

Really?

I suppose being raised by a Sburb veteran would explain why he uses terms like 'boonbuck' in casual speech - but almost nothing else makes sense when viewed through this lens.

If Pen-Pal is Jade's grandson, then he should be from decades in the future - presumably long after the game has ended. This doesn't sound like a problem, until you remember some of the references he made.

As much as it pains me to admit it, the Earth is probably gone for good - which means that any descendants of our Players will be raised somewhere else. Why would someone presumably raised in a completely different universe be so familiar with Earth's culture?

You could argue that he picked up his love of Earth movies from one of the surviving Earthlings, such as adult John - although that raises its own issues, because PP talks to John like he's never met him before. Maybe he died young, and passed his love of movies to PP posthumously - but as you can see, we're really having to stretch things to make this make sense.

Plus, there's an even bigger problem - namely, his 1920s 'accent'. None of the surviving Earthlings have it, and it's not like he just developed it spontaneously. If he was raised by Jade or her child, why does he talk like her grandfather would?

See, I'm still sure that PP is connected directly to Grandpa, and may well be the man himself - which means either PP is lying, or there's something more complicated going on here.

We don't know anything about Grandpa's life after he fled the Crocker household. If he was somehow raised by an adult, post-Sburb Jade, then he could consider her his grandmother, while still talking and acting like the Grandpa Harley we know. Plus, it would explain why he acts like he's from the past, but knows about the future. He already has a history of time travelling - maybe he's been doing it since he was a kid.

Similar to my old theory about Spades Slick, this one is a little too convoluted to be 100% true - but still I think there's something to this idea. Being raised by Jade would neatly explain where he got the bunny's weapons...

Ugh, I don't know! This Pen-Pal really is the biggest curveball this comic has thrown at me. I need to think it over some more.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #s106 #3175 #theories

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franzkafkagf · 2 days

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okay so i want to hear about your take on aegon i know you like him and all (so do i no matter how much i wish not to) but whyy

yess thanks for asking, I love being insane about him<3

I think Aegon is such a wildly tragic character– many asoiaf characters are but I'm so drawn specifically to him; he didn't want power or responsibility or the crown. It all was bestowed upon him against his will, and he shouldn't; putting on the crown is his definitive death sentence. The coronation scene has got to be one of my favorites in the season– he is quite literally walking up to be butchered like a sacrificial lamb, there are tears streaking his cheeks in the scene! I love the tragedy of it, the way it couldn't have been avoided anyways; his fate was sealed from the very start! He was quite literally dead from the very beginning.

I'm going off a mix from the book and the show but I actually love what they did with the character in the show? The book version does have some hard-hitting moments from him that are missing ("What sort of brother steals his sister's birthright?") but there wasn't that much there in terms of characterization and relationships. And wow, did they deliver on that in the show; I'm gonna give whoever came up with his mommy issues a forehead kiss.

Because YES! He and Alicent are reflections of one another– Alicent suffered under the heavy boot of Otto, turned into the perfect daughter, turned into the perfect queen for him. She recognizes that this was wrong and abusive of him, then she turns around and does the same thing to Aegon– the poison DOES drip through, the wheel is NOT broken!! It's BRILLIANT.

@atopvisenyashill put a GREAT tag under one of my posts–

#he looks like her and he’s weak like her so why can’t he get strong like her.

While Alicent persevered, Aegon crumbled under the pressure. He is miserable when we meet him– and he should be! He is unfit for the role of king, but it is his destiny nonetheless, everybody tells him so. It destroys him.

It's so sad too and I cannot help but to feel bad for him. No one knows where he is in ep 9, I don't think he has anyone to confide in; it must be lonely. Everybody seems to have written him off already– he is a drunk and a failure at being heir, being a son, being a father. He tries to prove them wrong later, and does in some aspects.

His loneliness plays into another aspect of him that I really love; his desperation to be loved. He will never be enough for anybody, he probably knows it deep down.

"[Aegon is] desperate to be loved but destined to be hated." – Tom Glynn-Carney

Obviously there is the carriage scene with Alicent that shows this. But I also really love the moment in his coronation, where he basks in the people's affection and cheers. He is poised to bleed out in front of the throne, he was crying and fighting for his life not to take the crown just minutes before. But now he's here and they love him and he can't help but love that.

He takes the crown to protect his family (the show does hint at that with Alicent telling him as much in ep. 6– in the book it's much more explicit with Criston pressuring him on the day of the coronation itself) and then his son DIES because of it! And he drinks and rages and drinks some more; he must've blamed himself. He goes to battle, flies too high (figuratively), and he FALLS; he burns and falls to the ground. He isn't made to be king. He knows. He does it anyways.

"You have already written yourself into legend, you survived dragonfire" – Larys Strong in season 2 (probably)

He survives, he is gone for over a year, unable to do anything but he SURVIVES. He escapes the capital, takes Dragonstone, he falls AGAIN, he loses most of his family; but he still goes on. Fueled by what? Maybe anger, or bitterness or just pure lust for revenge. It doesn't matter. He must've realized somewhere on the way that this was always meant to go this way, ever since he put the conqueror's crown on. It doesn't matter.

And then he dies and it's not grand or spectacular or anything like that. He drinks poisoned wine, nobody even sees him die, they only find him after. It's so uniquely lonely.

#hotd #house of the dragon #tom glynn carney #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #hotd meta #aegonposting #alicent hightower #otto hightower #omg now im sad </3 #ales.txt #asks

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echos-gal · 16 hours

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ok i'm rapidly losing hope that Tech is still alive, and this sucks because it was basically the top thing i desperately wanted from this season. i wanted to see him survive. so here's my exhaustive and embarrassingly long list of reasons why he SHOULD still be alive, and if he isn't, why it was a missed opportunity. obviously no hate to the writers or anything, i love them dearly for creating this show!!!

(if you're a "Tech should stay dead for the stakes/so someone in SW stays dead for once/i hate delusional Tech stans" person, kindly keep scrolling, this ain't for you)

SEASON 2:

right from the start, Romar connects with Tech and calls himself "a survivor." HELLO???

in this same arc, Tech breaks his leg in a fall which he survives. he continues to walk on it, fighting off troopers to save Echo & Omega, showcasing his persistence and grit.

one of Phee's first lines is "better late than dead," and we know she shares a connection with Tech. she flirts with him later in this scene. it would be a shame not to reuse this line, i'm just saying....

Cid still owes Tech for racing for her in Faster. we see Cid looking miserable as she betrays the batch in Plan 99, so her playing a part in his rescue/comeback would be a nice way to show her growth. (i'm afraid there isn't enough time for this, though- as much as i thought a Cid redemption was on the horizon!)

Phee and Tech's departure is awkward, and although we have some context from season 3 (they talked more than we realized), the scene would do best if reconciled in person imo. it felt like it was setting up for something, and feels weird to leave hanging.

"don't go running off with any pirates or smugglers" could not have just been a throw away line. it set up for him to do exactly that. how fitting would it be if pirates or smugglers actually did manage to pick him up before the empire made it to the railcar crash site?

Hemlock's retrieval of the goggles shows that he sent a team to look through the wreckage. he thought there was a chance Tech survived, and may have him.

i won't go into the logistics, but big falls ARE survivable. in star wars especially. we have no idea what was below the layer of clouds/mist Tech fell through.

SEASON 3:

this is mostly CX-2 centric. their armor is very similar: the jaw/mouth shape, the hexagons over the ears, the rectangles on the chest, and the pouches/pockets.

"domicile." that is all.

CX-2 uses technology more than the other operatives we've seen, and he gets past the encryption on Phee's ship with ease.

"who are you?" was enunciated in the exact same way Tech says it to Trace and Rafa, which i definitely think was intentional.

CX-2 stops to use his rifle scope in the exact same spot where Tech and Phee stood to let down the ladders in the sea surge on Pabu.

he survives a waterfall plunge on Teth, which appears to have fooled Rex's group into thinking he'd died. the writers could have killed him off there and sent a new operative, but they chose to stick with CX-2 pursuing them to Pabu.

it's worth noting that while this CX is designated as "2," Tech's CT number is CT-9902. he is associated with the number even on a visual level: he's a dual-wielder, he wears goggles, he salutes with two fingers.

FROM A STORY PERSPECTIVE:

firstly, i am sorry and i LOVE the writers, but if you want people to accept a character's death, you've got to show his family and friends' grief. we saw no reaction from Crosshair or Phee, no tears from Hunter or Echo. it feels like fans were sadder about Tech's death than the characters in the story.

Tech seems to have been mentioned more in the second half of season 3 than the first half, which works if they want to bring him back in the finale.

the finale is called "The Cavalry Has Arrived." i really don't think you can have the cavalry (aka the bad batch) arrive without every member present. i also don't think it would feel right to play their theme without Tech there. idk, that feels incomplete!

we saw no body, and Hunter received Tech's goggles not from a trusted ally or friend, but from Hemlock. this calls into question the legitimacy of his claim that the goggles were "all he could salvage."

Tech alive and being held on Tantiss would provide a nice parallel to Echo in the first mission where we meet the batch, in TCW. and [ep 14 SPOILERS] we see that Echo is currently looking more like his TCW self, with his earpiece removed.

feels kinda sour that a character who a lot of people related to as neurodivergent representation would die just a few episodes after having a deep conversation with his sister about it.

likewise (and as a white woman i can't speak for WOC), from what i have seen, Black women are rarely the main love interest of a series! Phee is the ONLY love interest in this whole show, and it would suck to just cut off that romance before it could really become something. a lot of people wanted to see TechPhee become canon.

CX-2 is the one who destroys the marauder. it works well storywise for its pilot to have been the one to do that- the person who worked so hard modifying it, flying it, and teaching his sister to fly it. i'll be lowkey pissed if it turns out some random dude blew it up.

it's also CX-2 who invades and sets fire to Pabu. this is emotionally gripping on its own, but if he is Tech, it's even more so.

we have no idea what the operatives go through. Crosshair isn't telling, but it clearly put him in a really bad place. if Tech underwent this conditioning in his post-fall injured state, there's a chance he could come back from it. Emerie is probably the key to this, if they take the CX-2 route.

this show is all about a family trying to stay together as the Empire desperately tries to rip them apart. seeing the whole family together again - even if not everyone survives - in the finale is the satisfaction that the show ideally would go for. the last time they were all together was the season 1 finale. that was about 2 years ago in the show's timeline.

leaving Crosshair and Tech's final interactions be where they parted on the Kamino platform also feels off. Tech was the one who really vocalized the need to rescue Crosshair in season 2's finale. Crosshair, in the meantime, has changed significantly as a person. Tech's comment about Crosshair being "severe and unyielding," and unable to change this facet of his nature, is incorrect. leaving Tech dead would mean that he never gets to see this change in Crosshair, which makes me feel like a deflated balloon.

FROM MY SELFISH PERSPECTIVE!!!

give me Tech with cool scars and slightly disheveled longer hair. this is such a good opportunity for the creators to give him a sweet new look!

we never got to see Tech without his goggles on, despite Phee constantly referring to his eyes. he definitely doesn't have them right now (they're in the Archium), so we could get Mister Big Brown Eyes if he's alive. it's another missed opportunity if not, imo!

the goggles being placed in the Archium was a beautiful scene that makes me tear up whenever i think about it. it's symbolic, it's bittersweet, and it's exactly where the goggles belong. but was it closure for me? not really.

Tech is a character who became a LOT of people's favorite in season 2, including my own. why kill off a fan-favorite with an entire season to go?

yes, i desperately want a Rex and Echo series. yes, i want the batch to cameo in it, and yes... that includes Tech. making up for lost season 3 Tech content 😎

the finale will feature the zillo beast, and Tech loves the zillo beast. FREE HER! REUNITE THEM! he would love to witness her rampage.

FROM A "SURPRISE!!!!!" PERSPECTIVE

it seems like most people think Tech is either CX-2 or dead. it would be a great finale twist if we DID get CX-2's identity, it's NOT Tech, the audience loses hope, and then he shows up. i think this is actually plausible given the other assassin schematics Hemlock was looking at in Point of No Return. Tech might be in Hemlock's grasp, but not an active operative. having an enhanced clone to toy with is something Hemlock would want to keep under wraps. we see him step out of the assassin chamber at the start of that episode - if Tech is anywhere on Tantiss, i think it's here.

i think the writers have expected us to have all lost hope by now, so his finale reappearance would ideally come as a shock. the finale is almost guaranteed to be a very long episode, so we really might have quite a bit of time to explore his return, if it happens.

secret 16th episode: i know, i'm putting my clown makeup on as i type this. but the previous 2 seasons each had 16 episodes, with a two-parter finale. season 3 is just 15, with a single episode finale. TBB formally ends may 1st, so what if we get a may 4th surprise episode detailing how Tech survived? (that or an epilogue leading into a new series, which i think is more likely actually!)

#i definitely forgot some points but i just need to post this and be done with it #feel free to add your own observations 👀#tbb tech #the bad batch #tech lives #techphee #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers

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runningfrom2am · 3 days

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cold nights // part thirty-one

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.6k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: heyyyy ttpd has got me fucked up and ALSO guess who heard from her ex for the first time in years?? that's been so dope and not at all causing me to spiral over the last like week :) anyway missed this series so here.

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

"You didn't have to come." You whisper in the dark, the open window doing very little to illuminate the room without the help of the stars.

"Yes I did." Lennox answers you, matching your hushed tone. You roll onto your side so you're facing him, smiling slightly. Sejanus had given you both your own rooms, but rarely did a night go by where you didn't miss sharing that mattress on the floor with your brother back home.

"Did Sej have to convince Ma to let you come?"

"He didn't ask me to come." You feel the pillows shift as he shakes his head. "He told me what was goin' on, and I said I'd be on the next train and that was that." He pauses, chuckling to himself. "I appreciate you havin' your meltdown on the last day of the month, by the way. Was awful convenient for me."

"Yeah, me too." You giggle. "How was your Halloween?"

He shrugs, tucking his hands behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. "It was alright. Same old."

"Did you do a costume this year?" You ask, already knowing he didn't. Apparently sixteen was too old for that- he was too "cool" for that now.

"Nah." He laughs. "You?"

"Yeah." You whisper, your smile dropping slightly. "I was Juliet, Tigris helped me make it."

"I'm sorry, but that means nothing to me." He chuckles, looking over at you.

"Well, it was an angel costume. We made the wings, and Coryo was supposed to be Romeo. We made his too. I was real proud of it, he was 'sposed to be a knight." You explain.

"But he didn't wear it?"

You just shake your head.

"Prick." Lennox mutters.

"He actually... ruined it on purpose." You whisper. "Poured red wine all down the front."

"Why the hell would he do that?" Lennox frowns. "I mean, I coulda' told you that guy was an asshole, but that's just cruel."

"It was my fault." You admit. "I didn't tell him that couples costumes were a thing until the day of. I didn't give him a choice, and I should have asked if he was okay with that."

"No... No, Y/N/N, don't do that." You feel him shake his head again, dragging a hand down over his face in frustration.

"Don't do what?"

"Blame yourself." He states. "You coulda' asked, sure, but I can't think of a problem he could possibly have with it. That's, you know, actually a valid reason."

"You know how they feel about us here, bug." You say softly, reaching out to push his hair back for him from where it had been pushed down on his forehead. "Sej has never really fit in, and he's been here ten years. I can't expect to walk in and have everything be perfect. Of course he's going to be a little embarrassed."

"But you can expect someone who's supposed to love you to be willing to prove it." Lennox says frustratedly. "You taught me that. So don't go changin' on me now."

"I would never." You smile slightly. "But... real life is different. Real love is different, I think."

"Real love shouldn't be embarrassing." He mumbles. "Not that I know a thing about it, but I think he's an idiot. I mean, I'd wear a matching costume with you tomorrow if you asked. I'd do anything for you."

"I know you would." You smile sadly. There are a few beats of silence between you while you remember all the signs you missed. Coryo telling you the school was strict about physical contact, causing you to turn a blind eye to other students kissing or holding hands in the halls and him hugging Clemensia that very same day. Him telling you to give him space when your only crime was standing too close. The only times he would hold your hand in public being in the backseat of their car or under a desk or table, hidden from view.

"He's lucky to have ya. Hell, we all are." Lennox says after a moment. "If any of these stuck-ups had any humanity they would treat you just the same. I'm not here to convince you to come home, but I think you're better off with us. That's all. At least at home, you're treated normal."

"But I'm not." You reply. "Not anymore. I might as well take this chance to get an education, so I can get a good job and go home and provide for you guys. Dad could retire instead of workin' himself to death in those mines, and Ma would never have to patch another pair of coveralls for as long as she should live. You could do whatever you wanted, bug. You could go to school too if that's what you decide. I could buy you a house, a bike, anything you want in the world."

"That's great and all, but I don't give a shit about that stuff anymore." Lennox tells you honestly. "As long as you're... alive, I guess, we're happy just the way things were. We talked about it a lot. That we'd give anything just to have you back."

A smile twitches on your lips. "I get it." You agree quietly. "But if I can get something for all of us out of having to go through... all of that, I'm gonna take it. Then we can all be together and all the better for it."

"For how long? Until one of us gets hitched and has kids, and then in twenty years we're sending them back here to go through the same shit you did?" He argues. "It's all for nothing. We just gotta make the time for each other while we can."

You chew on your lip, sick at the mere mention of your kids possibly getting picked. Or, god forbid Lennox getting picked in the last three years his name is entered in the reaping, and the number of entries increasing with every passing year. "I suppose." You agree. "But, can you keep a secret?"

He smiles at the familiarity as he looks over at you. "You know I can."

"Coryo is gonna be the next president. I'm sure of it." You whisper. "He's sure of it, too, it's all he's been raised for."

"Forgive me for not feeling reassured by that fact."

"No, but you should." You insist. "He's... He's a good man. He knows how to do the right thing, and I'm sure he'll call off the games one day. He has to."

You can hear your brother's sharp intake of breath. "If he's got you, he will." He mumbles in realization and you nod slightly.

"I think I'll be able to help. To actually do something good if I stick with him." You whisper.

"That's... a lot of pressure." Lennox agrees. As of right now, Coriolanus Snow is far from in his good books. 'If he was, I'd burn my library.' He recalls you laughing over the line in the book, recounting it to him just a couple of months prior. He wants to see you like that again. Happy. Yourself. But if you have to throw that away to save a future of who knows how many children, would that even be worth it to him? He feels guilty for thinking that it wouldn't.

"I love him, Len. I do." You assure him, somehow seeming to track his thought process. "I just don't know... If he truly feels the same way about me. I thought he did, when we were back home. When he came to Twelve, he was different than he is here."

"That's not fair." He replies quietly, deciding that now would certainly not be the time to bring up the fact that if you did end up marrying the future President of Panem, that would mean there would be no "coming home" for you. This, here, a city that tore you apart and left him to try and pick up the pieces, would be your home. He knows that as much as you love him and your parents, you're too noble to give up the chance to spare his children from your fate. He wants to hate you for it, but he never could. "That you have to defend him at all, I mean. You deserve to be angry sometimes, Y/N/N."

"It's fair." You smile slightly. "I just... I was so sure he was the one for me. You know? He cared about me when no one else did, he risked so much for me. You can hate him all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that he saved my life."

"That doesn't mean you owe him your love."

"I know that." You whisper, lips pursed in thought as you pause to figure out what you want to say. "But I think I would love him anyway. More than anything, I feel bad that I put him in this position."

Lennox shakes his head abruptly. "You didn't do anything. He made this decision, that apparently he wants you here, so he shouldn't be "embarrassed" of you, or whatever. Not at all."

"I don't know what to do, bug." You admit quietly. "I don't want to leave him. I don't want him to leave me behind now that the Games are over and done. I feel like for a while it was like... like I was a shiny new toy. And now I'm not clean and fun anymore."

"You really love him?" He asks, and you nod. He sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Then I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but you've gotta talk to him."

You open your mouth to speak, a small smile forming on your lips at his acceptance despite your nervousness about seeing Coryo again. "But don't let him off the hook yet, just let him plead his case." Lennox adds.

"I have to, bug."

"You're too forgiving." He replies, understanding but still disappointed. "I don't want to see you hurt."

"If I couldn't forgive, I would be ruined."

Coriolanus doesn't know what to do other than to go and get you before school come Monday morning. He hadn't heard from you, but Tigris insisted that you just needed your space. So he left a little early, the brisk air chilling him as he stepped outside the apartment building where their car was waiting.

He jumps nearly a foot in the air when he hears his name.

"Coriolanus Snow, fancy finding you here." He abruptly turns to look at the boy leaning up against the cement pillar only a few feet away.

The smug smile on your brother's face at his own joke is only mildly off-putting.

"Lennox. What are you doing here?" Coryo asks, clearing his throat and quickly readjusting the front of his coat. He knew your family- he knew he shouldn't be shocked that if you called, your brother would come running. Now he's just realizing that this didn't mean anything good for him.

Lennox shrugs as he steps away from the wall, a toothpick poking out from the corner of his mouth as he chews on it. "Sejanus called on Halloween. Said Y/N was having a tough time, and what kind of brother would I be if I didn't come to help?"

"That's very kind of you." Coryo states, eyeing him carefully. "So, you've been with her then?"

"Mhm." Lennox nods, smiling proudly as he not so subtly sizes up the boy in front of him. "Should we talk in the car? Wouldn't want you to be seen with me." He winks, flicking away the toothpick before brushing past your boyfriend to let himself into the backseat.

The blonde boy swallows, rolling his eyes before climbing in after him. "You going to school?" Lennox asks, already playing with the switches that roll up the windows and adjust the seats.

"I was going to pick up Y/N. She has class at the same time."

"Oh, she's already there. She got a ride with Sej this morning." Lennox states. "So don't worry, we wouldn't want her to be an inconvenience for you."

Coryo sighs, rubbing his head. "Listen, I don't know what they toldyou, but-"

"Oh, no. You're gonna listen to me now." Lennox cuts him off, suddenly serious as the car begins to move. "I don't know what you want from her. Not anymore. I had a pretty good idea when you showed up at our home unannounced, but clearly, that wasn't enough for you. So, correct me if I'm wrong, but you kidnapped her, right-"

"I didn't-"

"Yes, you did. As I was saying, you kidnapped her, but why?" Lennox shakes his head, eyes wide with genuine confusion. "If you don't want her, if you treat her like she's a burden to you, or that you're embarrassed of her, why would you bother? Was it just to break her again, because The Hunger Games didn't do a damn good enough job?" He hisses, fists clenched together like it was all he could do to not take a swing at him right now. "'My tribute gets touchy when she drinks'... Are you kidding me? You did this to her! All of it! I don't think it's too much of her to ask for you to care when you promised that you would!"

Coryo flinches a bit as his own words are thrown back at him, looking down at his lap in nothing more than shame as it fills him slowly from head to toe.

"It's not like that, Lennox. Not at all." Coryo settles on, shaking his head. "She is the furthest thing from a burden to me. I know it's hard for you to believe, but I want her to be happy. I want to help her."

Lennox looks down at his lap, the act of 'protective brother' crumbling to pieces over the back seat as tears brim at his eyes. "Then why would you take her away again?"

Coryo is shocked by this, eyes going wide as he stares at him. No longer was Lennox only your little brother who puffed his chest and rolled up his sleeves at every given opportunity to take a stab at your boyfriend, he was just a kid. A kid like you, who was completely torn apart by the games even though he had never set foot in the Capitol until the day before.

To Coryo, Lennox looked like he would have made a strong competitor in the same games; had his name been chosen. He was cocky, normally, and that was something that could be made into the spectacle that Dr. Gaul wanted. He would have no doubt done well. Coryo recalls you talking endlessly about your brother before the Games, and he remembered meeting him in Twelve and thinking that he was nothing like what he expected from the way you spoke about him. Gentle. Kind. Selfless.

From his limited interactions with the boy, Coryo only saw anger, distrust, selfishness. But knowing that he had to stand by back in District Twelve and wait for the news of his sister's death, maybe even watch it live, Coryo can now see that not only did it anger and scare him, but it traumatized him almost as much as it did you. The boy sitting next to him was nothing more than a kid who had lost his best friend. Who lost his sister.

"I..." Coryo stammers, waves of realization hitting him like he's run into a brick wall. "I had no choice." He says quietly to spare the driver's ears, and Lennox snaps his head back up to look at him.

Long gone was the sadness that told the story of who he had been while you were here fighting for your life a few months ago. Now, his eyes were ice cold, red from the tears that he didn't let fall.

"You're gonna have to explain before I tear every piece of that strangely white hair from your big head, Coryo."

Subconsciously, Coryo reaches up to make sure his hair is still styled the way he had just done it before he left as he swallows. "You know what happened to that peacekeeper?" He leans closer to say it so they won't be heard.

Lennox is scanning his face for any sign he could be lying. "And Billy Taupe?" He prompts him, the sad look flickering back in his eyes for only a moment. You had told Coryo about the relationship your family had with the Covey children, he hadn't even considered how your brother would handle the death of one of his closest friends without his big sister there to help. He lost you both in one night- that couldn't have been an easy pill to swallow, especially when he had only just got you back.

Coryo nodded slightly, looking up quickly to make sure one more time that the driver wasn't watching in the mirror.

"She was there." He explains it in as few words as possible. "And I knew if anyone found that out, if anyone saw her, the finger would be pointed her way."

"Did you kill them?" Lennox asks quietly.

Coryo shakes his head. "No, but I did hold one of the guns. She's the only reason I didn't. She wouldn't let me."

"Who did?"

"Spruce, I think his name is, but I shouldn't be telling you any of this."

Lennox gives him a solemn nod. "It's fine. I'm the one who hid the guns. Spruce brought them to the house and I ran everything out to the lake that night. Was sleepin' like a rock when Y/N/N came to pack all her stuff, I'd only been home for an hour or so." He explains, wiping a hand over his face as he remembers making that familiar hike in the dark. "They got Spruce, he was done the next day but I promise they'll never find any evidence connecting to you guys."

Coryo nods, internally sighing in relief.

"It's all secrets, now." Lennox adds, and Coryo knows what he means by that.

"What kind of secrets will she find at the bottom of the lake?" His own question is echoed back to him, but now he knows the answer.

"But if I knew it coulda connected you, maybe I would have left them somewhere more obvious."

Coryo doesn't expect the small smile that forms on your brother's lips. It was a threat, but first and foremost it was a joke.

"I'll be honest, I panicked." Coryo admits. "I couldn't just leave her there not knowing what would happen to her. I had to keep her safe, and bringing her back with us was the only way I knew how."

"I coulda protected her." Lennox insists, but the shake in his voice indicates that he knows that isn't necessarily true.

"I know." Coryo agrees anyway. "And I know it sounds like I'm lying to you but I mean it when I say I just want to help her. To give her a better future."

"Maybe," Lennox's jaw tenses and he slightly shakes his head. "But that doesn't mean you can treat her like she's nothin' to you. Especially if you actually care about her, which I am still skeptical of- for the record."

"I do." He assures your brother. "It's just... I don't expect you to understand but it is extremely complicated. There's a lot of pressure on me to keep the impression that our relationship is... professional."

"The hell you mean, 'professional?' She loves you. She loves you more than she should and you don't deserve that from her. Even if you saved her life, she doesn't owe you anything."

"I know." Coryo says again. "You're right. I won't deny that, but I need you to trust me when I say that everything I have to do, I'm doing it for her- so the Games didn't just chew her up and spit her out for nothing. She saved my life- and all I have to repay her with is my name. So I'm trying my hardest to do that."

Your brother is quiet for a moment. "Do you love her?"

"Yes," Coryo answers without a moment's hesitation. "More than I ever thought it was even possible to love another person, and I've known that since long before she ever set foot in that arena."

When Lennox doesn't reply, staring at him and trying to decide whether or not he believes it, he continues.

"I risked everything for her to win. I gave her that scarf, the rat poison, I even put something of hers into the snake tank so they wouldn't hurt her even if they caught her." He explains. "I was told before the reaping that if we cheated to help our tributes, we would have no shot at any kind of viable future but when it came down to it I didn't even consider another option because I could not live in a world without your sister."

Your brother's eyes soften as they find his again, a subtle nod indicating his understanding.

"She's... she's like a book whose pages I never tire of turning. I love her more than I could ever explain to you, Lennox. Please, even if you never trust me again, trust me right now." Coryo pleads. "I would never want to hurt her, and the fact that I have is killing me every moment she is not here."

Lennox straightens up, looking out the window as the university campus comes into their view. "I think she's the one who really needs to know that. Don't you?"

Coryo looks out the window, nodding in silent agreement and chewing on the inside of his cheek as the car comes to a stop for him to get out.

"By the way," Lennox says, that smug smile returning to his lips. "You spend too much time with my sister. 'She's like a book whose pages I never tire of turning'." He mocks his voice, using finger quotations to make his point and polishing it off with a scoff. "Never say anything like that again, Coryo. That's corny, even for Y/N."

Coryo laughs slightly. "Noted." He agrees, pushing the door open.

Armed with the information that you did still love him and maybe your brother wouldn't be hunting him down just yet for hurting you, he heads into the building looking forward to finding you for lunch.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl , @dreamyysouls , @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie , @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @cascadingbliss

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

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kteezy997 · 3 days

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Daddy’s Boy- Part Seven//t.c.

Warning: some angst

It was an extremely filling breakfast at the local diner, and you had a great time with the two boys. A part of you felt giddy, like you were on a date that your son just happened to join. You felt like something was really blossoming between you and Timmy again.

Timmy had forbidden you to pay the breakfast bill, and Theo was playing the claw machine piled high with stuffed animals nearby. You had an idea that had been brewing during the meal.

“So I was just thinking: maybe tonight Theo and I could stay at your place? Or maybe just him, if you want to spend time with him one on one.” you hoped he would say “Oh no, I would love for you to come, too.”

Timmy's eyes widened, and he didn’t immediately agree.

Your heart dropped and you were instantly embarrassed.

“Oh, well I would love to have you both, but I have plans tonight, actually.” he slid his hand into his pocket, retrieving his wallet to pay.

You nodded, feeling almost sick to your stomach, “I see. What plans do you have?” you shook your head, knowing you had overstepped, and maybe assumed too much. “No, it’s none of my business.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just…I’m meeting someone for dinner. A coworker. She, um, asked me to dinner. It’s not that big of a deal.” Timmy tried to brush the whole thing off in front of you.

“She? It’s a date? That’s nice, Timmy.” you weren’t being condescending, but you were masking your true feelings.

He looked at you, shook his head, his curls going wild just for a second, “Not really a date. It’s just dinner.”

“I bet she likes you. Everyone likes you.” And I have fumbled you.

“I hate that stupid game!” Theo grumbled as he came back over to the table.

You cleared your throat, looking at your son, “Hey, we don’t say those words, and you know that.”

“Sorry, Mom. It’s just that I never win anything.” the boy frowned, picking up his little cup of chocolate milk and taking a swig.

“It’s okay, bud, you have plenty of toys at home. And I’ll tell you something that’ll make you feel better.” Timmy said, leaning across the table.

Theo perked up, his eyes glued to his father, “What, what is it?”

“You are gonna come spend the night with me tomorrow night.” he grinned.

“Yeah!" Theo cheered, throwing his arms up in the air like he had won a prize from the claw machine after all, "Sleepover at Daddy’s! Can I bring my Hot Wheels?”

"You can bring whatever you want." Timmy said.

You gave him a look from across the table.

"Within reason." he added.

.............

You were a bit of an emotional wreck for the rest of the day. Timmy went home and you talked Theo into spending the night at your parents' house. You needed a break. You needed time to think.

You needed to talk to someone about your situation with Timmy. You had begun to think that you had let him slip through your fingers, and now you were worried that you would only be Theo's mom in Timmy’s eyes and not a potential partner.

You asked your best friend Lucie to come over and she came through with pizza and her listening, compassionate ears. You had told her everything. She had always liked Timmy; she thought that you were a great match together, and she adored Theo.

"I don't know, Luce, what if he goes out with this other woman and they start dating? My life would be ruined having to see him with someone else.” you put your hand to your head, “And it would be another thing that Theo would have to get used to. Things were going so good. I should have just told him that I wanted to be with him."

"Y/n, you have trauma, not necessarily from Timmy, but from the breakup and not having Theo's father around. Of course, you were skeptical about putting yourself back out there, and you were right to not rush something that you weren't sure about. Especially since you also have Theo’s well-being to consider.”

You sighed, knowing that she was right. "But if it was the right thing, why do I feel like this? It's too late to do anything now."

Lucie frowned, "Who says it's too late? You could leave right now, and stop him from going on that date."

You laughed, "Right now? That's crazy! He could be gone already.

"Let's go, let's go right now!" she said, "We can try to catch him." Lucie grabbed your hand, pulling you, and rushing out of your home. "You are going to tell that man that you love him, and you want to raise Theo together and make more babies." she said, matter-of-factly.

"This is insane!" you yelled, getting into your best friend's car and she sped off into the night. You could feel the adrenaline and exhilaration that the moment was bringing.

…….

You knocked the door of Timmy's apartment, not even certain if he was home. All you had was hope. After a moment, your stomach went sour as there was no answer. You decided to give up, as he was probably out on his date.

You swallowed your pride and realized that it was time to come to terms with your relationship, or lack thereof, with Timmy. This night could be detrimental to your life going forward. He could have a new girlfriend, and everything between you and him would wash away with the changing tide. You decided to walk away.

You were walking away from the door, when suddenly, you heard the turning of a the door knob.

"Y/n?"

You turned around quickly, seeing Timmy standing in the doorway that you had just left. "Timmy." you said, going back over to him, feeling a little dazed because you couldn't believe he was actually there. It wasn't too late!

"Are you okay? Is Theo okay, wh-where is he?" the concern in his eyes made you feel terrible guilt. You had caused him to needlessly worry.

"Oh we're fine! Everything is fine! He's with my parents for the night." you assured him. "I just had to come and see you."

"Y/n, what's going on?" his face softened as he looked at you.

"Timothee, I don't, I don't want you to go on this date tonight, I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. And maybe I have no right to say that to you, but-"

"I won't go if you don't want me to." he shook his head, gazing down at you, so tenderly.

You couldn't help but smile a little at what he had said, and for the first time, you felt like your feelings and assumptions were validated. "I love you, Timmy. I've always loved you. I love the man you are and the father you are becoming to our son. I think we... should be together." you felt your throat tighten up with the nerves you were feeling.

He grinned, saying, "I hate that we were ever apart." He took your hand, pulling you close to him.

In an instant, you felt warm and tingly in the best way. You were mush when you were this close to him. You felt at home.

"Come here." He put his forehead to yours, wrapping his arms around you and shutting the door behind you. "I love you too." he kissed your lips softly, then parting to add, "And I love our boy more than anything."

You threw your arms around him as well, and you pressed your lips to his. Your heart and your body were on fire. After a moment, you were making out shamelessly.

Timmy picked you up and took you over to the couch.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @mel-vaz @thatoneweirdgirl17 @iwishchalamet @jindongdongie @elloise0 @rennyd26 @briefkittenearthquake @that-one-fangirl69 @sammy-halpert

#timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet #timothée imagine #timothee x reader #timothee fanfic

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fabuloustrash05 · 2 days

Text

Some of My TMNT Hot Takes (PART 2) 🔥

Warning: More Opinions

Part 1 Here

I don’t like that in Mutant Mayhem Donnie is not a “science guy” but instead is more of an anime and pop culture geek. I’m not against him being an anime fan (I love anime too) but I wish we saw more of his science and being a tech genius side instead of him just liking stereotypical “nerdy stuff”. If that makes sense.

I don’t like the Punk Frogs (any version).

The 87 crossover episodes in the 2012 series (as much as I did enjoy them & are great episodes) should not have happened. They leave no real impact or development to 2012’s overarching story and just waste time. These episodes could’ve covered more important things that 202 was desperately lacking like like character exploration and character dynamic development. It was just nostalgic fanservice. The arc in S5 specifically would’ve work better as a movie instead of a 3-4 episode arc in the (most likely non canon) final season.

Shinigami being Mikey’s second love interests ruins her character a bit (for me personally). That was a pointless decision that did NOT need to happen. She would’ve been our first recurring female character to not be a love interest, but nope!

People are allowed to like/ship Donnie x April in ROTTMNT (this is coming from someone who’s not crazy about April being shipped with the Turtles).

I ship Yuichi with 2012 Leo more than Rise Leo (still ship Rise Leoichi, but I just think 2012 Leoichi is way more interesting, plus 2012 Leo deserves a good love interest).

The humans in Mutant Mayhem look ugly af (I know that was probably an intentional design choice but still. It looks bad.)

I hate Raph x Casey (any ver). I’ve stated in part one that I don’t like Raph (any version) being in a romantic relationship with human characters and yes, that meant him with Casey. Not only that but Raph and Casey being a couple ruins their whole dynamic and iconic friendship I love so much. I’m all for friends to lovers but they are a line that should not be crossed. Not every friendship needs to turn romantic.

2012 Karai’s hair looks bad.

Fans often over exaggerate Rise Donnie’s character and badly mischaracterize him in fanfics and fan comics to the point it makes him feel like he’s an entirely different character.

Shinigami should have been revealed to be a villain.

Rise Donnie was just as mean to his brother as fans claim 2012 Raph was to his. Yes, they both do love their families and I’m NOT saying either of them are abus!ce (they’re not), but fans praising Rise Donnie for doing similar things fans criticize/hate 2012 Raph for doing just makes them hypocrites.

Venus does NOT need to be in every iteration of TMNT. It gets kind of annoying when fans keep on saying that she should be in all the other iterations when in truth her presence would not make sense based on the already established canon story. The only (recent) version of TMNT where I think her being included would’ve fit the best and deserved to make her comeback in is ROTTMNT.

The side plot of 2012 Karai being mutated and later getting brainwashed by Shredder was a waste of time and the most boring arc in the series.

2012 April, Donnie and Casey being in a poly relationship does not fix anything with their problematic dynamic and massive flaws with one another. I'm not saying you can't ship all three of them together, you do you! Idc But in reality their relationship would be a train wreck, that's why I personally don't ship 2012 Capriltello.

Renet is probably one of the most powerful allies the Turtles have in the 2012 series.

Rise Donnie would NOT hate 2012 April. He’d go crazy over her psychic powers and want to study them to help her explore them more.

From what I've seen so far, Leo x Usagi seems like the only GOOD ship in the 2003 series (this hot take might change tho).

Raph had the best character arc and development in the 2012 series and changed the most out of the four brothers. Next would be Leo. With Mikey and Donnie have little development (or none at all sadly).

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feluka · 2 days

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Hi, I don’t rlly know how to explain this but I’ll try haha.

I recently found out I have Egyptian and specifically Coptic ancestry, through family tree making, matching with cousins, gedmatch, dna testing, etc and now personal confirmation from family/ancestors.

The problem is idrk who was the Coptic ones in my family as my dad died when I was four and I’ve had no contact with his family at all since. I know it came from his mother, but I can’t even give you her name let alone where she was from, or anything. Although I want to learn more and reconnect and eventually find out who they were exactly. It’s just hard because my dad’s living family has no contact w us and since he’s dead, it’s been hard to get records as well.

I would like to learn more about Coptic culture and Egypt in general but I am worried about people considering me a ‘culture thief’ since I only recently. found this out a few months ago but didn’t really have 100% confirmation until like 2 weeks ago. And even though I can prove genetically I have ancestry Coptic I can’t really say who my ancestors were which would probably make some skeptical.

Especially because I am African American and there already exists a rift between Egyptians and AAs bc of hoteps who claim Egyptian culture/claim Egyptians are just Arabs who ‘stole’ Egyptian culture. I want to be respectful but I’m unsure how to navigate this.

I guess I’m asking if you have any idea how I should move forward, or if you know of any resources to learn more? I want to be respectful, but I would also love to start to reconnect even if I don’t know where my ancestors were exactly from other than ‘Egypt’.

Hello! First of all, this is both a very respectful and a very personal ask, so I want to thank you for trusting me with that. I hope my answer can help you find peace with the matter a little.

Instead of trying to figure out if the overall sentiment of trying to reconnect is harmful or not, because there's really no answer to that in and of itself, and instead stop at every individual action taken to reconnect and asking: could this be harming anybody?

For example, if you'd like to pick up Coptic language lessons, could this action possibly be harmful to anyone? Not really. Is reading about Coptic culture and engaging with what survived of it in modern day harmful? I don't think so.

The only possible thing that I can think of that might be harmful is, I have awful experiences with certain diaspora Copts who have never really engaged with the community nor know much of it, who suddenly butt in conversations about Coptic politics in Egypt like they're an expert on it despite never having been or known anything about it themselves, but from the way you've written this ask I doubt you're the kind of person to do that anyway, seeing as you're being very respectful and that you recognize that there's some dissonance in your experience (which there's no shame in, but the self awareness is helpful as a guide of when to participate and when not to!)

I don't know if I said this before on this blog but, to my knowledge, the matter of the hotep subculture entails far more than just questioning the Egyptian identity, and seeing as I'm neither African American nor Black at all, I don't think it's my place to comment on it. I invite any of my Black followers to contribue to intra-community discussion in the reblogs/comments for you to read, though!

All I can promise you is that even if the notion that the population of Egypt was displaced rather than converted during the Arab conquest of Egypt is false, there still are Black Egyptians and there always have been. Sadly I'm sure there will always be people who try to make you feel like a pretender, but that is true of so many things and regardless of what you do, so always remember thay Black people have always been part of Egypt's history, and that nobody is entitled to know your personal details or family history and you don't need to disclose anything you're not comfortable with to prove anything to them.

As for resources, there's always a lot on Egyptology in general, so the specific topics that would be helpful to be aware of are: modern history of Copts (or Copts post the Arab Conquest of Egypt), the persecution of Copts, the decline of the Coptic language and the efforts to revive the language. The last two are especially pertinent nowadays.

Lastly you can always ask other Copts! I may not have all the answers but I'm sure between me and my followers we can find something helpful for you if you're trying to find a specific resource of have more questions. (The scarcity of resources is something we *all* have to deal with, even us here in Egypt, I'm afraid, but it's not a lost cause! You'd be surprised how much is out there on internet archives.)

I hope you have a lovely day. ♥️

#asks

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greendragon19 · 10 hours

Text

Ok but TK and Marjan, both trying to figure out if Buck and Eddie are dating after following them on Instagram because they both seem to exclusively only post stuff of each other and Chris.

Like TK would see it first but it doesn't take long before Marjan is right there with him and they both become lowkey obsessed trying to figure it out.

And then season 7 happens

TK - who the fucks Marisole?

Marjan - no clue why?

TK - she just tagged Diaz in her story, I guess they're moving in together

Marjan pulling up Instagram - when, I've literally never seen him post anything about her before

TK - I know, it's weird right.

Marjan - really weird

TK - Marj have you seen?

Marjan - seen what?

TK - Buckley took a guy to his sisters wedding, I knew he was flirting with me

Majan - as in some guy that's not Diaz?

TK - yeah he's called Tommy

Marjan having already pulled up Tommy's profile - wow…

TK - he's hot right

Majan - yeah but that's not what I meant have you been on his profile

TK - no I just saw the pictures from the wedding why?

Marjan - he also a firefighter, he's ex army and he seems to be into basketball, cars and Muay thai

TK - So Buckley is dating a clone of Diaz

Marjan - certainly looks that way

Like an hour later

TK - do you think we should tell him?

Majan - Buckley? You know I was thinking the same thing. Like we should just drop him a quick dm or something

TK - I don't know it feels like the kind of thing you should call someone about

Majan - Wait, you got his number when he was flirting with you during the wildfires?

TK - unfortunately not

Marjan - damn, you think you could convince Carlos to find his number in the police database?

TK - If I explain it's for the grater good maybe

Paul who has been listening to these two idiots speculate for the past few years - No no no, you absolutely can not do that!

TK - but it's for love

Paul - you're going to what call this guy up and and be like hey you remember when we might briefly in Texas during the wildfires well me and my friend have been insta stalking you and think your in love with you best friend

Marjan - well it sounds crazy when you say it like that

Paul - you would be lucky if they don't file restraining orders against you for stalking. Look, you don't think I clocked them both during the whole five minutes I spent with the two of them, of course I did but you can't just tell people how they feel either they will figure it out on their own or they won't. But whichever it is you have to stay out of it.

TK & Marjan pouting - fine

TK once Paul is out of earshot - what if we dm Diaz?

#911 abc #911 lone star #911 show #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tk strand #marjan marwani #paul strickland #buddie

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cubeapples · 2 days

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the reason i think tomarrymort is a predator-prey relationship is because in reality, if you look at it completely objectively, harry is just an obstacle voldemort has to beat down. he is not an equal enemy. it's really not that deep. put down your pitchforks, let me explain.

obviously, they are enemies in the way that they stand for opposing ideologies. so it is an enemies to lovers dynamic, but it isn't THE enemies to lovers dynamic. they just don't have enough history to be portrayed as arch enemies in my opinion. that title goes to dumbledore.

you have voldemort, who is a terrifying warlord who has brought britain to its knees. he has stricken fear all over the world. people are afraid to say his name. and then you have harry, who is powerful in his own way, he is a decent wizard and is considered voldemort's enemy by a prophecy.

voldemort, in his paranoia and fear, decided to kill this toddler who is considered his enemy and ends up without a body. as you can already tell, there is a maaajor power imbalance here, it's laughable that voldemort lost to a baby. because of this, he has to spend 13 years as a wraith without a body. that is probably one of the most traumatizing things he has probably went through. obviously, when he recovers, he becomes even more irrational. he makes another horcrux, he considers harry as a real threat because he thinks harry's power did that.

we, as the readers know that the last statement is untrue. canonically, it was lily's love that protected harry. not some magical power harry possessed when he was a toddler, but because lily loved him so much that voldemort's soul was split apart again and he was left in agony.

then, harry grows up. he is a bright student. he is good at DADA, he sucks at history, he is powerful enough to cast patronuses. but overall, he is mediocre. we don't see him having a thirst to learn, we don't see him actively seeking out ways to destroy voldemort, we don't see him taking his occlumency lessons seriously. (rightfully, because snape was being an ass) but overall, he doesn't go out of his way to do anything significant. he's just trying to survive. but that doesn't mean he is not brave. when he's put on the spot, he faces voldemort and hardly runs.

but overall, he is not in control of the grand scheme of things. dumbledore is the one orchestrating voldemort's downfall behind the scenes. harry is just a particulary shiny pawn needed to win the chess game, but the queen is still dumbledore. sure, harry is scene forming the da in book 5 and sure, he goes on the hunt in the seventh book, but that is only because voldemort is actively pursuing him. do you see it now?

yes, you could say harry would have graduated and fought against voldemort but... so would everyone else. there is an entire order dedicated to fighting against voldemort, harry isn't special.

harry is only significant to voldemort because of the prophecy, without it, he will always be a no one to voldemort. you can't disagree with this, because if you do, you should be prepared to ship neville with voldemort because he could have been the chosen one, but the prophecy wasn't about him. he fought alongside harry, too. he slit nagini's throat, and yet voldemort barely pays attention to him.

you can say harry isn't prey-material because he fights back. but that is because he's been put on the spot. he has no where to escape at all. harry never instigates any of their fights, they are not on equal footing. they can therefore, never truly be equals opposing each other, simply because harry does not have the expertise to hold his own against voldemort. the prophecy labels them equals, but is this ever truly portrayed? no! voldemort literally has a piece of his soul inside harry, it's like he partially owns harry already. they were never equals to begin with. if jkr truly wanted to portray them as equal enemies, she should have given harry more credit. he is never anywhere near as powerful as tom riddle. she shouldn't have had dumbledore providing all the info, she shouldn't have had harry be a martyr-like figure who has to sacrifice himself to save the world, she shouldn't have made harry win based on pure luck.

the only reason harry won was because of voldemort's irrationality and harry's plot armour.

#is this not obvious? 😭😭😭#voldemort #lord voldemort #tomarry #harrymort #tomarrymort #tom riddle #harry potter

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wulfhalls · 3 days

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(im just a movie fan) ik u dont ship them bc u think they could/should end up together lmao but, do u really think paul x jessica is the most plausible incest ship in dune? bc personally as someone whos only watched the movie, it seems like paul, even before everything goes down, has a sort of unease towards his mother and the bene gesserit ways she pushes onto him (idk if im reading it completely wrong, its been a while since ive seen the first movie). and the resentment only increases in the second movie in a way where i wonder if paul will be able to even speak to her without screaming at her in movie 3 lol. although they did have some INSANE chemistry dont get me wrong.

on the other hand, i feel like paul, from the movies at least, has some level of devotion with Leto, and leto obvi loves his son the most in the world. and ive also come across these book excerpts ppl have been posting, and it seems like the paul/leto relationship is even deeper in the books bc from the excerpts it seems that leto makes a point to confide in paul to prepare for dukedom, which is like a responsibility only those two can understand with each other. and then i remember an excerpt i saw where paul is the last memory that leto remembers before his death, which i thought heartbreakingly sweet (does paul gain that memory after taking the water of life?). Paul just loved him soo much the fact that hes starting the holy war bc some part of him just wants his father back its like insane and a lot. anyway idek what i'm saying anymore just that all the relationships in this story are great and rife with potential.

last sentence really sums it up! all relationship dynamics are deeply compelling here! I don't think this boils down to with which parent paul had the objectively "better" relationship with tho. for me pauljessica is more interesting because well first of all we just get more time with them. more time to explore that tension speaking strictly from a movie pov here (because in the books jessica giving leto a son is framed more as a decision made out of love that echos down the millennia even 5k years later and less stemming from her desire to bring forth the kwisatz haderach even tho it certainly is also an element at play) that mary/jesus imagery is just so potent! bearing a son u will lose to the world to his destiny but on purpose!! u did this to him! u made that choice! u wanted to bear the saviour and u did! but he's ur child and u love him u love him more than anything but his path is set and u did this and now what. u prepare him u train him u make him so he'll survive because he is urs and if the world burns? so what? as long as he is alive to rule over it does it matter? the way he was so tender and loving and protective of her pre water of life. that's his mother (and sister)!!!!! the only thing he has left of who he was!!!! his maker (in more sense than one)!! and having jessica emerge as this almost empty vessel for the other memory to flow through. to inhabit with only glimpses of what used to be his mother.......... delicious. he loves her he hates her she is his enemy his only respite his maker and his undoing. I love drama

#he has more than one birthright (derogatory) sksje #asks #i also lost the plot of what i was even trying to get at but so true 🤝 i love insane dynamics in all its forms #dune #pauljessica #dunetwo

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cevansbaby-dove · 2 days

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Labor of love.

Pairing:Chris Evans X Ofc Ellie Evans.

Warnings:Freaking out Chris (yes he is a warning no joke!) Birth scene.

A/n: thank you to @hollybee8917 for the mood board!! Also a huge shout out to my bff for writing part of this for me, bff it was perfect thank you so much! @cutedisneygrl I love you!

Ellie was sipping on water as she cleaned up a bit. "Ellie what did I say?" She heard Chris say. "I'm ok cleaning right?" he walks over to her and says. "Come on sit down and take a break"

He takes her hand in his and leads her to the couch. "Chris why don't you go back to work?"

He smiles. "And let you get back to cleaning uh?" He asked raising an eyebrow. Ellie is now two days past her due date and Chris was keeping a very very Close eye on her.

"No I just want you not forget about your work" Chris kisses her head. "okay but i'll have Ava help you around ok?" Ellie nods. "okay okay" he walks to the stairs. "Ava Maxine Evans get your butt down here"

Ellie smirks. "take it easy Evans" he looks at her and is about to shoot her back something when Ava walks down. "What did I do this time?" She huffs in this oufit.

Ellie is in this outfit

Ellie smiles. "Your father is beyond worried about me darling you didn't do anything wrong"

Chris says. "What the fuck are you wearing?" She looks at her outfit. "it's just a skirt and shirt" Ellie rolls her eyes. "Chris behave" "No I will not stand for my daughter wearing this shitty slutty outfit! go change right now"

Ellie stands up. "Christopher that's enough!" Chris looks at her. "do you want her dressing like this? really Ellie!?" Ellie Crosses her arms tapping her foot. "She's old enough to wear whatever she wants" Chris rolls his eyes. "Fuck that!"

Ava says. “Mom did you just pee yourself?” Ellie looks at her feet and says “nope, I think your father just broke my water.”

She looks at Chris and says “Okay don’t freak out we are only sixteen minutes from the hospital.”

Ava says “I think us girls aren’t going to freak out but you sure will.” Ellie smiles. “nice one.” Chris rushes around. “Oh my gosh! Your…your…we need to go now!”

Ellie looks at Chris. “Chris calm down it will be okay. We aren’t far from the hospital remember.”

She says calmly. “I know but…” Ellie puts her hand on Chris’s shoulder. “Its going to be okay. We have been through this three times already.” “I know but…”

“I’m going to go grab the bag for the hospital. Call your mom so she knows what’s going on.”

Ellie heads to the bedroom and grabs the hospital bag that she already had ready and heads back to where everyone was.

Ellie says to Ivy. “I need you to look after your brother and sister okay?”

“Yes mom.”

“We will call you when we can.”

Ivy nods. Ellie looks over at Chris who is pacing back and forth while on the phone. “Ellie’s water just broke! We heading to hospital now!” he says anxiously.

“Okay. I will head that way. Calm down Chris. You got this. This your fourth child. You should be used to this by now.”

“I know but…I….she…” “Chris, breathe. It’s going to be okay. You need to be there for Ellie. She needs you.”

Chris takes a breath. “Yes your right. Okay I’m good. I will you soon.” Chris hangs up. Chris looks at Ellie. “Mom is meeting us there.”

Ellie nods. “Well you ready to go? You got the bag?” Ellie holds up the bag. “You got everything you need?”

Chris looks around. He grabs the keys on the end of the kitchen counter. “Umm yep. Lets go!”

Ellie looks back at Ava. “We will call you. I will have to stay in hospital at least one night. But…”

“Mom, I will be fine. I’ll call if I need you, but I will be fine.” “El lets go!”

Chris says anxiously Ellie looks back at Ava and then takes Chris’s hand and they head out to the car.

Chris helps Ellie in and then climbs into the driver side.

He quickly pulls out of the driveway. He has just pulled out when a contraction hits Ellie.

Chris looks over and takes her hand. Ellie squeezes it hard. Chris bites his lip a little because she squeezes it so hard. “It’s okay El we will be there soon. Just remember how to breathe and…” Ellie squeezes it again. “Shit! El!”

He starts driving faster and drives through a stop sign. He reaches the hospital and quickly parks the car and then runs around and gets Ellie out and walks with her into the hospital and up to the desk.

“My wife is in labor! We need the doctor!”

The receptionist is really nice and speaks calmly to Chris. “Okay sure we will be right with you. Just remain calm."

After a few minutes Ellie is taken to room and hooked up to a monitor to monitor her contractions.

After about an hour they get to 3 minutes apart and she gets moved to the delivery room.

Chris is holding Ellie’s hand as the doctor walks into the room and gets ready.

She smiles at Ellie and sits down in front of her. “Okay Ellie are you ready?”

Ellie nods her head. “When I tell you to push I need to push for me okay?” Ellie nods her head again. The doctor leans down in front of her and gets ready. “Okay Ellie push for me.”

Ellie starts to push and screams as she does and squeezes Chris’s hand hard. Chris ignores the pain and talks Ellie through it. “You got this El.”

“Keep pushing Ellie, your getting there.” The doctor says. Ellie pushes again and screams again “Ahhhhh!” and squeezes Chris’s hand harder “Shit! El!”

“I see the head, give me two more big pushes.” The doctor says. Ellie pushes again hard and screams again.

Chris looks over and see the baby coming. “I see her! I see our daughter!”

The doctor looks at Chris. “Would you like to cut the cord?” Chris nods and cuts the cord and smiles.

The doctor then holds her in her arms and washes her off and wraps her in a blanket then hands her to Ellie.

“Here is your daughter. Congratulations.” Chris looks down at Ellie and smiles.

A few hours later Lisa brings Ivy, Ava and Matty over. Ellie is watching the newborn sleep on chris's chest who is also sound asleep.

Ellie turns and says softly. "Hey" Ivy sit by Ellie. "did dad lose a hand?" Ellie laughs. "I think I broke his pointer finger." Ava smiles. "What's her name mom?"

"Chrissy...wake up" Ellie says looking at him. He slowly opens his eyes and looks at his newborn sleeping on him. "i'm up you ok?"

Ellie nods. "I'm fine, how's the finger?" Chris chuckles. "just dandy" Ivy and Ava giggle. "so the girls were asking about a name"

he sits up slowly. "You can tell them if you'd like" Ellie smiles. "okay okay" Lisa sits next to Chris on the sofa and says. "She has your hair color chris'

Ellie smiles. "Her name is Christina Grace Evans" Lisa smiles. "Oh that is a wonderful name" Scott and Steve walk in and Scott says. "What about my middle name?

Chris and Ellie say at the same time. "No!" Scott walks over to Chris and says. "oh my God she's cute!!"

Lisa smiles. "well we wanted to just pop in and see how you guys are" Ellie smiles. "thank you Lisa" Mathew says. "I like her already mom" Ellie laughs. "glad to hear it"

"All though I wish I had a brother, way to much girly stuff in the house as is" Chris laughs and says. "goodness your picky"

matthew says. "Next one better be a boy" Ellie says. "Oh god no thanks no more kids for a longggg time worst pain in my whole life" Chris flashes her a smile.

After everyone leaves, Chris says. "Were you serious about no more kids? like...for good?" Ellie looks at him. "Not for good but a while like ten years..."

He nods. "right" Ellie looks at his hand that has a band-aid on it. 'How's the finger?" he looks at it. "Oh it's broke for sure but it'll heal' Ellie laughs. "Good to hear"

Ellie and Chris stay at the hospital for a few days then head back home to the rest of their family with Christina in tow.

All though Ellie did break chris's finger during labor she is grateful for him being right by her side.

Tags:@nicoline1998enilocin @armystay89 @patzammit @angelbabyyy99

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #Chris Evans RPF #chris evans characters #chris evans cute #chris evans drabble #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #chris evans imagines #chris evans married #chris evans one shot #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x pregnant!reader

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noacfapologyst · 2 days

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telltale heart — matty healy. part 2

´part 1´

summary: you and matty have a pending meeting at some awards where you promised to go as a couple. but something goes wrong.

wc: 2,5k

a/n: hey! i'm so sorry for the lateness. a lot has just happened these days but here is the second part. thanks for the love, x.

The weeks between the awards and the proposal to take Matty as your date have been from the moment he left the studio, the only thing you've ever seen going on in your mind.

You haven't been able to sit down and compose peacefully, or be able to just have a conversation without mentioning him without you slipping through your cheeks. Or that he appears in stains on your writing, the references may be exhaustive at some point, but your brain is about to explode just to think that he'll be there for you, and just for you. You wish his hand would occasionally slip into the waist of the dress you will wear and you would use that touch to keep it forever in your memory.

Even in your best dreams you wouldn't have had the courage to ask him to accompany you to prizes like your date, you can actually stand near him without trembling about it by mere chance.

Two weeks before, you go back to the conversation that tortured you several days ago with your team.

"Matty Healy, are you really sure?" Your manager inquires again, you cross your legs again. It's a sequence you've been living since Friday. "It dissolves your image too much in front of his. I don't know if it fits."

"Really, I don't care." You shrug your shoulders with heaviness. Your image is ruined anyway, but you're not going to let them take this off your hands. "Whether i go with someone or not, there is a stir. I was cheated, remember." You point again and you look at your fingernails, you need to finish defining everything now. "I don't care if it ruins my reputation. Matty is my friend, end of discussion, Helen."

Maybe it's the tone of voice or maybe you've just fed everyone up with it but Helen, your manager for years, sighs and nods with discontent. A winning smile sits on your face. You understand the worry in that office really, but you have one more card to play. You don't really care what his image is from doors to the outside because with everyone around him he's never been more than a gentleman and that's the only thing you really stick with when you have to talk about him.

"Plus, we give the media what they want. The antithesis of Sam." Helen decides it's time to let the argument go and even though her face is a weak grin they decide to move on to the other agenda items.

"Have you decided the dress, at least?" Your innocent smile betrays you and you're nowhere near getting a blow to your head.

You run into a bubble of teenage foolishness, she should understand that. But you won't discuss that either because deep down you've let him look distracted.

"I'll see the dress later, I'll let you know which one I choose." You inform her at the end by taking a sip in the cup of coffee. Helen doesn't make any sound anymore, and you know you've officially won.

Stylists really only want to kill you now or throw some fabric over your head. But they are right in their anger, you shouldn't have waited until the last week to choose the dress or gather too many designers in one place without having a very clear idea of fabrics, cuts and necklines. All you know is it has to be red, it can't be any other color under any forecast.

But it's not that you didn't want to choose it, you just couldn't find the right one. Which is kind of a lie.

No one can deny that there is an attraction in you posturally just by seeing you from afar, there is some light in you that stands out without you trying. You know that you're actually beautiful and that you're lucky enough to fit in dresses and that anything would be fine to show off on you. Your face has small freckles and you have good proportions between your nose, your eyes moderately green and almond, and your round lips. Your hips and abdomen are fine although you've never paid too much attention to them, or at least lately. But you know that your figure is imposing and immutable when the line is drawn between your low back and your high back and everything stands out there.

But this is different, it's a dress for and by Matty. It has to be perfect, not close to it. It may be one of the few opportunities you have in your life to receive his look on your body and make you tremble even just by looking at your cheeks. And that's also why the red dress has to be camouflaged on your cheeks.

In the end you find it and you couldn't be happier with the result. Red satin, straps around the back and neckline. When you test it automatically your body functions like a teenager and you start spinning around it without even finishing tying your high heels properly. But as you see yourself spinning in the mirror a smile sits on your face from ear to ear.

"It honestly feels like it was designed for you." After everyone in the room approves it by nodding as they take the measurements for the final adjustments, your image advisor shows up at the door and his confirmation lets you see that you're going to be relevant at the awards and with several glances on it overshadowing several more artists. "You look like the fucking winner."

And that confirms that you've finally found it. And it's perfect.

---

"Hey." Matty's face appears on your computer screen when he calls you on FaceTime. They haven't seen each other in person since the night at the studio, but their contact has been maintained anyway. "How do you feel about the awards?"

"Why the question?" You better place the device on the table and rest the guitar on your legs. You take the opportunity to spend some time watching how the hair on his front move each time he accommodates the camera.

"I wanted to make sure you remembered that we will be the best couple at the awards." Your heart stops for a second. "Believe me when I tell you that Sam is going to vomit with resentment when he sees us." The archness in his voice, the change of tone, the punctuation of the latter. The silly smile and the wink he makes. Too much for three o'clock in the afternoon.

That's when you realize something else. Ever since Matty became your supposed date, you haven't spent a second thinking about your breakup or your ex or who she's going to take. Just now you're rethinking it.

"You still there?" Matty claps his palms and looks at you from the screen with a frown. He doesn't mean it in a blunt way, but he knows how your brain works and he knows you've frozen to yourself.

"Yes, I don't know, I had forgotten he was going to be there." In fact it's a confession would be because it's realistic. You've been in your pink bubble about Matty that you forgot your ex would be there. "I don't wanna see him. I would like he stop exists sometimes." You laugh silly and he gives it back to you with a supportive look.

"It won't bother you, darling. I'll protect you." You feel like you're gonna throw up rainbows for the next five minutes and you don't know exactly what the trigger is. But luckily you can hear George's voice in the background and you know Matty's going to say goodbye. "See you on Friday. I'll get a red bow for the suit."

"That would be fantastic." You wink at him revealing the color of your dress and he smiles waving his hand around the camera as if he were a small child. "Bye bye, Matty."

When you cut off the call you have your head burning up from the amount of information you're processing right now, and then you go back to the first point you noticed today, the initial cause you owe to being able to go with Matty to the awards has stopped crossing your mind the moment this whole plan happened. It's also when you realize how self-destructive it is to have portal notifications on your computer just to keep abreast of public opinion about you.

You shouldn't let it get to you so much, but it actually does. Sam and her, the girl the rumors of your infidelity fed on and then confirmed, holding hands in front of the last bar you and he went to as a couple, two days before the breakup. His hands on his waist, he looks happier than he ever was with you. Smile more, he has a genuine expression in it. She's cute and it hurts you because you thought you were her ideal type and she, ironically, is completely different from you.

Your breath is cut short and you force yourself not to blink so fast and control the splash in your eyes. Yeah, maybe it's been a few months, but you're back in front of that studio and you're back in front of the words that stuck like a dagger in you when he said he didn't really love you and you just bored him. That feeling makes you get carried away and after weeks of holding back you get carried away and you just cry liberating yourself. At some point you let go of a drowned cry when you think about how you imagined a life full of it or at least imagined it would last more than a few months.

In the epitome of your catharsis you stretch between the guitar and the notebook and reveal that not letting yourself feel in its totality is what has not allowed you to put words in a line. And that is now broken from the moment your fingers prick the guitar in a melancholy and sad way, your thoughts fly and stay on the page when you denote the betrayal in your story, the lie and the reality of the facts. As your facet of strength and pretending smile and well-being collapse and leave you reduced to your tear-filled role, your knees on your head and the floor next to the gray armchair.

Maybe one of the best songs of your career. How you died waiting for a sign that never came even if they had sworn you everlasting love. Like you would actually have given up everything to keep it.

Suddenly you calm down just as quickly as you have acquired the previous state, when you manage to breathe properly thinking that Matty said he would be there and accompany you in front of Sam. That he has used the word protect gushes warmth within you, and you know that you can rejoice in the feeling of affection that he inevitably gives you. Therein lies the essence and effect Matty has on you and how important his friendship is to every aspect of your life. He's been there in every stage of your life and he's never stopped accompanying you even when he wasn't at his best.

Then you relax thinking about how lucky you are to be able to take him to those awards regardless of the terms agreed between the two and what the media put on. At the end of the day you'll be going to the awards that you and him have been talked about for thousands of nights being the best choice of both because understanding was never faked and that chemistry is always instantaneous.

When you realize you're tapping the guitar without a predetermined note, it's glimpsed between scratches of melancholy and a pink bubble. But now you're back to your usual thoughts and now you can't stop thinking about Matty dressed in a suit (and looking awesome, by the way) with him basically matching you in his tie.

Since you open your eyes on Friday, the day becomes chaos. Dress test, hair test and make-up test. The walk in heels, the review of the speech. Thinking about what to say about the breakup, that your figure remains dazzling no matter if the person able to disarm you is the one standing next to you. Both for your ex-partner and your date. Then they'll come and tell you about your nomination and how some song will be better than yours. The vicious circle of being an artist.

You wish it was a quick day, but it becomes extremely heavy. You hardly have time to stop for a drink of water and when you realize you are already changed for the event.

You look in the mirror with your stylist and then he starts to take shots while he changes between different angles to have the best pictures. Your hair is semi collected in a braid from behind and only a few waves break off on the wind but it gives the feeling that you have a princess collection and is not in danger of collapse.

Your dress gets all the attention, you look taken off the cover of a magazine. The red satin falls on you adjusting your curves and marking your figure in a rather attractive way to see, the cut on the leg does not take out the dainty of the dress. Your neckline falls on a beak held by a very thin thick straps that connect the dress with the neckline at the back, leaving your back open only with a few straps crossing to your low back.

You're perfect but you can't help but want to bite your nails because you feel there's something still missing even though you're being manic checking your makeup all the time. And if it wasn't because you don't have a second for your stylist to talk to you about important things, you'd have tried to touch up your makeup many more times.

When you get in the limo, you breathe until you calm down, and then you have a millisecond to talk to Matty.

see you, x

hey

we're coming for you soon

You turn off the phone and leave it on the seat when you feel your manager's gaze pointing at you.

"Where's Matty?" You ask after a while starting to listen to your senses that tells you something is wrong. They should have passed Matty's house a few miles ago, and your heart speeds up when you know you are entering the freeway.

Your phone vibrates and lets you see the Brit's messages making you form a thick grimace between your lips. Your brow automatically frowns and you feel your makeup heavy as you read each word carefully and feel like someone is playing a heavy joke on you.

only a thing

if you promise someone a date you have to keep it or at least warn that it's a fucking joke

Your vision becomes blurry for a few moments and you feel your world just stop in front of a polarized window and the body of the seat. You don't want to believe that what your head is thinking is actually what's going on, you can't just go overboard like that. The chances were very slim.

And then, come the words that confirm how you dug your own grave without it being your fault. You feel like someone's slapping you right where it hurts the most.

"Oh yes, about that. Matty isn't a good look for you, so we just got you someone else. You'll thank me later."

actually i think it sucks but will be rewarded in the next part? anyway let me know what you think <333

#matty healy #matty the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #the 1975 fic #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x you #matty healy x oc #matty healy x reader #matty fic #matty healy blurb #telltale heart au

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