#i don't trust this computer

[mrcspectr]

There's that literal side of Khonshu, and then there's the metaphor, which is the embodiment of Marc's rage. His rage at what has happened to him as a child, and his rage at himself that feels that he deserves it in some way. And that he has to be a slave to and that he has no choice, almost like an addiction.

Oscar Isaac on Marc Spector & Khonshu, Marvel Studios Assembled: The Making of Moon Knight

#i needed to immortalize this quote #like literally turned on my computer in the middle of the episode for this #oscar gets it and i love that he does #like tbh i don't think i could trust live action marc with anyone else at this point #we're his defense lawyers now we're a team #mcu #moon knight #marc spector #khonshu #oscar isaac

[clhampir]

Hi I had to made a gofundme for the cost of a new computer because my piece of shit finally died on me. Any and all help is greatly appreciated, including shares. Thank you

#crowdfunding #disabled #gofundme #personal #trust me i do not want to be asking for money again but my computer is my whole life #i don't have access to the outside world without it #i've cried so much today over this

[miahasahardname]

TURTLES BY NIGHT, BABY!

FINALLY WORKED UP THE COURAGE TO POST ABOUT MY AU (but apparently not to draw faces??? idk what happened)

so basically turtles by night is an au of mine in which the 2012 turtles are kraang experiments.

rather than fighting off the kraang droids, splinter (and consequently the turtles) is captured and taken to a kraang facility to be experimented on.

the kraang were working on perfecting the mutagen and had started creating various different strains to see how different balances of ingredients would affect mutation and be most effective in their mission to mutate the planet.

for the turtles, this meant they'd get a little more human.

by night they are the same humanoid turtle mutants we know and love (hence the name), but every morning at 7am they begin to transform into regular humans.

in their human forms they live a relatively normal life -- they go to school, hang out with friends, etc, but they have to be a lot more cautious and keep a lot of secrets, which makes their classmates suspicious.

splinter and the boys beleive that they have done a good job at hiding the truth, but that changes after their 15th mutation day, where they are forced to go out of hiding for a while to save the life of a classmate (and her father).

oh yeah, and the kraang have been spying on them this whole time, too. who would've thought?

hopefully i'll draw more stuff to post... anyways here are some low quality doodles :3

idk guys..... this might be a stretch but i think mikey is michalina's favourite turtle.......

#SORRY IF THE DESCRIPTION ISN'T THAT GREAT TRUST ME I HAVE A DOC FILLED WITH LORE AND IT'S SIGNIFICANTLY MORE COHERENT #i also have a shitton of doodles (mostly them as humans (i'm addicted to their designs)) but i don't have access to them on my computer #plus i kinda want to digitalise them before posting? #we'll see how things turn out #also REALLY badly want to write a fic but have no ideas and am unmotivated #SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS AU AGHHHHHH #i hope this hasn't been done before i'll cry #tmnt leo #tmnt donnie #tmnt raph #tmnt mikey #2012 leo #2012 donnie #2012 raph #2012 mikey #raph n mikey are totally twins here btw. i love 2012 sunset duo #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt au #feel free to ignore this i was just feeling a little silly when making this

[anothermonikan]

The thing about my brain constantly narrating my actions and my creative processes and that sometimes I'll just think something completely out of left field and I just gotta sit with that

#sorry sorry drawing something and I was think about how I would feasibly structure parts in a robot body #and Idrk why and where I got this from but I always think the hardrive should be a center piece #like I always describe hardrives as the heart and brain of a computer so I place it. where the heart would be #but I don't really think about how it would be protected it's just kinda. There amount the wires #and like. idk I've had a few too many thoughts about someone holding my heart and like. there's something about it man #like the amount of trust you'd have to put into a person to do that. Completely unfeasible fantasy yeah #But I think I'm making that feasible with the way I think about robot internals because there isn't like. an equivalent of a ribcage #so like ough....that type of thing is feasible to do to them #sorry sorry #I think this is gonna change people's opinions on me maybe now that I've in-tag mentioned that I think about people holding my heart yeag #I think it'd be pretty epic if it was feasible yeag #Android.txt

[ashtonisvibing]

oh, yeah, no, that's cool, that's fine

no, i fucking love when the computer charger i've had for three months stops fucking working and i'll have to wait another year to get a new one because we can't fucking afford a new one and even if we could my parents would just forget

what a great fucking night

#ashton is talking #bright side is i guess apparently my switch charger works??? #but i dunno how much power that gives out i'm not trusting that #y'know i this is the second time i've had a computer charger break at my friend's house #note to future me: don't use the outlet in his room cuz it's a charger killer i guess-??? #i know nothing about power but- i guess that outlet puts out too much for my chargers-??? #i don't fucking know #i'm just pissed cuz i'll have to use my mom's charger again #and also my dad's gonna be pissed about this so- i have to deal with that #maybe it'll fix itself while i sleep

[anthotneystark]

And I’m split in half (But that’ll have to do)

In the end, she’d seen it coming.

In the end, he’d felt it like a train that couldn’t stop in time.

In the end, there were ghosts of people who were lost and ghosts of people they never got to be, people who had never existed and maybe never had a chance.

In the end, they say goodbye to what was, what could have been, and what died without them ever knowing.

They’d both been pretending for too long, both been fighting for something they couldn’t really believe in. She’d fought to push down the nightmares choking her, he’d fought to regain the normalcy they never got to taste before. He’d fought so hard to keep things good, clinging to the idea of them and clinging to the her that existed before her best friend was killed. She tried to push and pull and shape herself into the mold that he looked for. She bent herself into a person she never could have kept playing, but couldn’t get the words out from where they lodged in her throat.

She saw his pain, even with hers clouding her thoughts. She saw it in the way he didn’t swim in the pool, the way he kept it clean but couldn’t stand being in it.

He saw her pain in the way her smiles couldn’t linger on her face.

Dinners were never with his parents, too busy for him and unknowing of the turmoil in his heart. Dinners were never with her parents, something she didn’t want to subject him to. Dinners with parents only happened when they were the parents of the ghost haunting both of them.

In the end, the ghosts get to be too much. They come to a head with too sweet alcohol and too much noise. They come to a head with words that hurt worse than any fist. He leaves her there, but only once he knows someone else will watch out for her. Because he hurts, but he loves, he loves, he loves more than he hates himself even on his worst days.

He’s no stranger to anger, no stranger to loneliness and the ache in his heart. He knows himself to know his anger is a poison and it’s better if he’s alone when he’s trying to get rid of it. He’s trying not to be his father, trying not to be Tommy, trying not to be King Steve, who took that anger out on everyone who got in his way because that was all he’d ever known. He’s tried so hard to be better, but he feels all that anger boiling and pulling at the person he’s been building himself into.

He knows she’s hurting, knows she’s saying things she wouldn’t otherwise let out, but that makes it hurt worse because it means she’s thought about it over and over until it stuck there.

And then she doesn’t remember. She doesn’t remember and she can’t say the three words he needs to hear to fix the hole left in his heart. He can’t blame her, but he can’t not blame her just the same as he can’t blame himself, but he can’t not blame himself. It’s a vicious war in his heart and he feels so empty and hurt and angry that he walks away.

He wants to fix it, thinks if he can just apologize, even if he doesn’t know what he did wrong, they’ll be okay eventually.

He can’t though. Because she’s gone, because she can’t let the ghosts lie and he can’t blame her for that even if it terrifies him.

Except she’s gone, and then when she’s back she’s got a spark in her eyes and she can’t look at him for more than a glance. He’s already an afterthought.

He’s got bigger things to worry about that night, things bigger than him and bigger than her and bigger than the pain that still exists between them and the love that might have been there once.

She moves on, and it seems as easy as breathing for her to smile with Jonathan. She can’t see how much it makes him ache and he can’t bring himself to do anything but smile because he loves her and can’t just stop even if she’s moved on.

She’s been through enough and his anger isn’t enough to make him hurt her.

It’s like the year they spent together is just gone though and he doesn’t know what to do with that. He doesn’t go back to who he used to be, not really, but he smokes and drinks and acts like some kind of authority to the kids who follow him around and he tries to act like his heart isn’t a black hole because falling apart isn’t an option. He tries to keep up a friendship, does his best to act like it’s enough, like he doesn’t dream about her every night, like he doesn’t keep fitting her into the plans he’d always imagined. He smiles as she holds Jonathan’s hand like he isn’t still picturing her there with him in a house with a picket fence and kids running around after them.

It's his dream, not hers, and he can recognize that, but he’s not ready to let it go yet.

He sees her mom in the grocery store and sees the faint recognition in her eyes before he turns away.

He knows she has to drive past his road to get to the Byers’ house but he knows without having to ask that she’s not thinking about him as she does it.

The pain never leaves, but he holds onto it even as he wishes it was gone. He holds onto it every time he sees her. It’s a cycle in his head. Aching longing, love, anger, pain, over and over and over again. He feels stuck, forever, like there’s no escape from it and time isn’t helping.

He graduates, the pain stays as his dad promises to teach him a lesson, as he knows staying means seeing her. He finds someone who makes the pain lighten up, but she can’t remove it completely. He gets dragged back into that world of monsters and pain and still dreams about her even as he reaches for the hand that’s right there with him.

In the end, that hand isn’t the kind of love he’d hoped for, but it’s enough to finally start stitching up the pieces of his heart. In the end, it isn’t really the end after all.

They still can’t talk, but he isn’t quite so lonely anymore.

They still can’t look at each other, but she smiles at him sometimes and it feels like forgiveness.

They still can’t be friends, but they’re bound together forever.

He watches her be left behind by someone she really does love, someone who loves her too even if he can’t stay. But he’s here with her and the anger is still there but it doesn’t feel like it’s choking him anymore. He stays busy and dreams of the things that used to be within his reach and doesn’t drag her back in because it’s not fair to her.

He loves her and wants her to be happy even if it’s not with him because that’s what she deserves.

He stays by her side as they’re dragged back into fear and pain, finds himself telling her that dream that he swore would go to his grave in the gentle sunlight and haunting shadows. He tells her and hates himself for it because it’s his dream, not hers.

He watches her hug Jonathan and turns away because as much as he loves her, wants her to have her dreams, it still hurts knowing it’s not going to include him.

So he walks away, lets her go, let’s her have her dreams because it’s the least he could do. He shoves his aching heart down further in his chest because he loves, he loves, he loved, and she’s got that piece of his heart, but maybe letting her go can be good for them both.

He walks away, a different soft, small hand linked to his by their pinky fingers, and as he breathes out, he lets go of the version of them that never existed, that never had a chance of finding a home in their lives.

That night, for the first time in years, he doesn’t dream of her.

(@sharpbutsoft - I got at least a very rough sort of something that came out! Thanks for the inspiration!)

#steve harrington #nancy wheeler #S2 stancy #kat writes #I had this written then I opened tumblr and my computer crashed and I had to rewrite the last half of it and I'm so mad #Listen I do love steddie but there's something so interesting about stancy and how they fit but they don't #There's something so important about the pain of losing something that never existed the way you built it in your head #and at the end of the day they were both teenagers trying to cope with horrible things and they both made mistakes because they're teenager #I do believe he really loved her and I do believe she tried to love him but couldn't deal with the trauma she'd been dealt #and that's not her fault but it's not his either it's just a shitty situation #anyways I'm a hundred percent a multishipper even if I have the ones I like best and I think if done right stancy could be satisfying #but with that said I don't know that I trust them to be done right

[taupewolfy]

genuinely nothing gives me a greater source of anxiety than this bullshit. I'd rather go up on stage and talk to a crowd that doesn't give a shit than this

#i literally did that frequently. for work. it was scary but it was fine #job searching however? i'd rather flay myself #my greatest source of stress helped by my nothingburger skillset #just put me in front of a computer and let me punch numbers i don't need certs for that. i can do that easy peasy #< you can't say shit like that though 'just trust me' doesn't sell you

[princeymarmar]

Identified Fucking Thing ("Bon")

#prince talks #I know he isn't about to jumpscare me but I don't trust him not to for reasons I can't articulate. can't look at him on his own page long #like at least Bon the Animatronic it's like yeah this thing WILL get me. he's the Animatronic of the Animatronic Horror #outside of that I think it's very funny that Bon's ai is the most blankest slate smiling blob thing ever. at least right now #my computer rebooted itself completely without warning while I was trying to post this. he is displeased. #between finding this out last night and my last wakeful thought being 'can't believe Edd had to get rabies shots' #my dreams were very files themed

[angeltism]

EEEEEEH honestly during the time we were mutuals we interacted like a maximum of . two times. perhaps even just once. which is a bit crazy considering all of this now. i was just scared of trying to keep interacting honestly HSJAHDJSHD but if you dont feel like dating after i reveal myself that is completely absolutely alright! i would appreciate having you as a friend just as much! its whatever you prefer and whatever you feel more comfortable with :3

- 💌 anon

oooh well . still honestly I bet uur kewl <3 and yayaya !! thank uu for being understanding , I very much appreciate it . to be faaair , I do . kinda . have a soft spot for uu , y'know ? so even if it isn't immediately . . . the idea isn't something I'm opposed to ^_^

#➳ the fool's mail box #➳ sender; 💌 anon #with all of this being said . there def are things I'd need to know before like . being in a relationship #likeee . are we close in age bodily . nawt that uu would know since i don't share my age online idk but still . like . age range ? #but also no need to directly share that . at least for nyeow ? at the least i trust uu are a minor 😭 #um . and also if uur . dating anybun else ? aha ? <- very monogamous very mono . unlike a lot of the beings I've met on here . scary ! #augh it's purrobably obvious by nyeow but I'm a clingy jealous mess so being with anybun who'd be dating others . i just . can't #and that's honestly something I'm worried about a little bit like poly beings r so kewl but it just isn't for me #and a lot of beings i know on here are poly . ^_^' #or like idfk being poly itself is fine in a theoretical partner as long as they aren't strictly poly #like ''no if i wanna date other people will i can't just be with only one being bc that doesn't work for me'' #but ''i could theoretically be in a polycule but I'm okay with being in a mono relationship'' is good ! #and ofc ''i am fully mono just like uu'' is . also something that works for me #idk #these are the kinds of things i didn't wanna ask right off of the bat and i suppose I'll purrobably find out for myself whenever uu reveal #but like . still . uu can easily see why we could be incompatible lol . so . #augh idk where I'm going with this . I mean uu should know my boundaries n such if uu like-like me I just feel like a bit of a downer #bc boom what if everything is ruined nyeow or whatever blehhh #but anyways I'm gonna stfu nyeow i have some chores 2 knock out so I'll speedrun em while uu either write back . or do something else and #then write back . orrrr while uu do something else and write back when I'm done and at the computer so I can reply asap etc etc #agh i feel like i got weird w this even if uu are currently w others or something again we can totally just be friends . buddies . pals . #uur still kewl and really niceys so !

[transxfiles]

if elon musk ever tried to put a chip in my brain i'd end up killing either him or myself. one of us has to die for that.

#i don't need a computer chip in my head girl wtf!! and ESPECIALLY not from the guy who is terminally bad at managing major projects!!!! #like.. the public failure of the modern entrepreneurial spirit!! hello!!! #sorry i just saw another article about elon musk's bullshit computer chip plans and im... AAA #like here's the thing!! cybernetics are really fucking cool and are literally lifechanging for so many people #i have a friend who has a new insulin pump thats basically ''smart tech'' and it has completely changed her life and made her type 1 #so much more manageable and i wish everyone who wanted that sort of tech could get it without having any worries #but its the fact that this tech is in the hands of corporations who are so so focused on abusing their power for profit that worries me #and ESPECIALLY when we circle back to the elon musk bs i start to gnaw the bars of my cage bc like #talk about THE WORST PERSON IN THE FUCKING WORLD. TO TRUST WITH PATENTS FOR LIFE CHANGING TECHNOLOGY.. #not to mention programmer bias on top of the capitalist hellscape we live in and like. the inherent biases of so much ''smart tech.'' #im on the ground. #cricket.chatterbox

[1ouis]

.

#uuuurghh i wish nightshade was available on mobile. not comfortable sharing art on here anymore until i can afford a new computer... #being a mobile artist really fucking sucks now 😮‍💨 #i opted out of the toggle but i don't trust tumblr's buggy ass #like the “disable double tap to like” toggle?? i have to keep switching that back on every now and then for some reason and i hate it lol #i've been struggling to make art due to mental health reasons again but i do have one i really wanna post and show to people eventually... #you'll see it when you see it ig 😭 #edit: since drafting this i found a site that can glaze but the max resolution they're able to do is so tiny it hurts 🥲🥲🥲

[all-made-of-stardust]

Anyway, this is my Baldur's Gate 3 experience.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #about me #trust me if i had the money and the tech i would 100% be playing this game #it looks so fucking cool #alas my computer is barely strong enough to run Scrivener let alone a massive game like that #and i definitely don't have any other options #been thinking about saving up for a steam deck tho! #also no i shall not pick a favorite they are all equally hot af

[dylawas-reblogs]

me: yeah so we haven't had a meeting about it yet, but I asked my coworkers about past interns and why they left; chances are they won't hire me full time at my internship immediately. However, the chances of having it extended are pretty good, and I like what I'm doing, and they're going to be talking about budget in July. Sure my finances are a little tight but--

my sperm donor (only slightly exaggerated): look for a new job immediately and tell them if they won't hire you full time you're leaving. and no, I don't care if you don't find something in your industry and you have to settle for a job that will make you hate being alive even more than you already do. Also I'm going to ignore how long it took you to find this internship to begin with

me:

#dylawa rambles #dylawa rants #this man gives zero fucks about actually seeing me go into what I fucking trained to do he just wants me to make him money #i am literally sick to my stomach right now thinking about job hunting again #'i want to see you successful and happy' okay why are you still charging me rent then #why are you making job hunting even more of a traumatic experience than it already is #literally said to him 'I don't trust my chances of finding a new job within two months' and his response: 'oh well go work customer service #it took me MONTHS to find just this internship and it's a miracle it's paid at all #it's in a nice office with nice people and i have my own computer and they feed me almost daily! #i'll live another six months in this hellhole if it means I get a guaranteed post-internship job like this #is it the ideal job? absolutely the hell not #the commute sucks i don't have work from home so i can't get away with doing other shit on the side #i feel limited in what the role requires of me vs what I'd like to make #but good fuck it's better than food service or retail #but nooooo he needs me to be his little rent cash cow without him feeling guilty about it #very tempted to bail even if it means I start eating through my savings a little bit #I don't know if I can go through the daily interrogations of 'did you apply? why aren't you hearing back? it's your fault' again #i have somewhere to go but I'm trying to keep it very 'last resort' territory #A) it would make my current work commute twice as long #B) it would require completely burning bridges with my old man bc I'd have to move out in secret #not just because i don't want him to know where the people who are sheltering me live #but also because if he saw that place even if he was willingly letting me move out he'd say 'absolutely not' #because I don't trust him not to do something weird. not necessarily DANGEROUS but. weird. #I want to burn all bridges someday! #but even now that I own my car it's still not the safest course of action #I'm so sick of being stuck dawg! #dylawa vents

[s-wordsmith]

Hardison in The Three-Card Monte Job when he thinks Russian mob assassins are coming to their secret base to kill him: grabs his laptop (Hardison with a laptop is unstoppable), a couple stacks of cash (food and a safe place to crash), a bag of some kind (presumably to pack the laptop and cash into once he has a second), and a partial 2-liter bottle of orange soda. Just the necessities.

#Leverage #Alec Hardison #The Three-Card Monte Job #I love him #He had none of this when they told him the guys were coming after him #Didn't even take time to pack the computer up safely or hide the full stacks of cash #But he had time to grab his soda #Did he even grab a charging cord #Unless it's in the bag already #no #Headcanon that Parker and Eliot separately pack him go-bags #after he makes jokes about running for his life with just his soda and the clothes on his back #(they say something about how he wouldn't have survived and he says he did before and they Cannot With Him) #Sophie understands; Sophie can run with just her brains too #(not that Eliot and Parker can't; they just don't trust it enough to not layer in backups because that's gone wrong before) #Sophie packs one for Nate though because he's too helpless to get by without one #Years later Hardison has a list condensed from his observations of everybody's go-bags #and includes it in the startup packet for every Leverage International team #Right after the 'team enrichment in your safe homes' section #And right before 'The Harlan Leverage III Banking System and the Concept of a Shared Emergency Stash'

[medicinemane]

"It even connects to your smart phone!"

Well... that's a huge downside for something to have, don't like that

#don't like it cause not only might it be harvesting data on me; but that also means it probably is real susceptible #to the manufacturer just deciding they don't support it anymore; specifically with software #and of course that not just meaning 'not support' but meaning 'we've bricked your working device' #like I get why people like it; the convenience of your whole life in the palm of your hand #but I don't trust like that #to me it's an unneeded massive point of failure that risks me not actually owning the physical thing I bought #this is about a density meter for like... figuring alcohol content in home brewing #and like... neat... but the moment they said 'it even connects to your smart phone' that's a massive red flag to me and I don't like that #takes it from 'if I ever start brewing maybe I should get that' #to '...man... I don't know that I trust them not to brick my shit with hostile software' #know nothing about the company; but that's how I feel about all app based shit #maybe just like... measure my shit for me and keep and internal log... oh; and a usb port and the ability to interface with standard OSs #that would be nice; like then I can rip the logs off your thing onto my computer #but nah... I don't want a phone involved unless I plug it in with a usb #I'd rather it be a little less convenient for me; but not use a wifi signal #cause then you can't fuck with it; no one can fuck with it; except me when I plug direct into it #...don't want my shit connecting to the internet; and that's the other problem with apps #they pretty much can't mean anything but an internet connection... cause how else does it talk to your phone? #if it's not my computer; frankly it should be dumb and totally offline with usb ports (or other HDMI whatever) for communicating #tv should be a dumb blackbox; oven should be a dumb blackbox; sadly even thermostats and shit should be a dumb blackbox #this shit makes life easier... till it doesn't; and if I don't have total control over it then someone else does #like... if I have a closed system smart home; that's one thing; but if I use a standard one that means anyone can access it #both in terms of random employees being caught peeping on me (and tos that say they're allowed to gather data on my sexuality and shit) #to the fact that if it hooks up to the internet and someone can connect to it... they just have to get past security and they're in #like my car shouldn't fucking be harvesting data on me; that tos example wasn't random; that's lifted from one of car companies tos #online is vulnerable; online is unsecured more often than not; it's a fucking risk that isn't worth it #it's like all those keyless cars getting stolen cause all they gotta do is catch your fob's signal and then spoof it #I want it dumb and connecting to nothing 95% of the time #sometimes I want it dumb and connecting only with a direct wire #I in theory might want it smart but on a closed home network I have complete control over

[rawliverandgoronspice]

also I'm pretty excited about returning to the place where I have a keyboard next week. If I can carve out some time, I'd love to keep on working on musical themes for the animatic project because I have ideas and I want to jam them out

#thoughts #animatic project #thralls of power #I have a pretty good headstart on impa's theme and I'd like to push it a little further #the main theme too (though I'm not sure it makes for a good main theme but I still really like the vibes of it so maybe something else) #I have a horrible idea for a theme so I want to play with that too (it involves the TP Sages theme which WILL be a leitmotif) #one thing that I find very liberating working about OoT/TP versions of the universe is that #my soundbanks are incredibly dated #I'm working on a Windows XP computer with all associated software #and I never really upgraded my stuff because I'm not sure where to begin #but!! I think it can become a strength of the soundtrack if I'm not afraid of how tinny it can sound at times #because it would echo some of the mixing limitations of that time #and I don't trust myself to do better work than that honestly #I have a very fraught relationship to music composition and sharing my work but I'm hoping this project can repair that a bit