#i don't wanna be a burden to anyone but i truly feel so annoying even when i want to clear my mind and put things into places | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

supermarketbae · 9 months

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Heyyy, I just found you and followed❤️ could I request a billy Hargrove x reader where they argue one night and so she goes and stays the night with Eddie and somehow billy finds out where she’s at and shows up in the middle of the night and is like fuck no she’s mine and then him and Eddie argue over her and whatever else you wanna add and end how you want ofc I’m just a sucker for jealous/ angry billy

Omgg!! Hello lovelyyyy! I appreciate the follow!! thanks so much for requesting!

anddddd i made a tiny ittyyy bitty tweak to this because I felt like a little bit of angst today (sorry in advance)

warnings: Jealous!Billy, billy thinks reader is cheating, yelling, slight* panic attack for Billy (idk not really but), fluff, angst, hurt comfort :)

Some Things, Will Never Change.

You were dreaming. You just had to be. In no universe would Billy just accuse you of cheating so blatantly. You thought you had gained his trust, but apparently, old habits die hard. "I can't believe you." Billy seethes pacing in the kitchen slamming the refrigerator door open. You winced, annoyed at the noise that echoed through the dim house, When you had got home from your summer job at the arcade, You decided to pay Billy a visit. You were starting to regret that decision. "Believe what." You spit out starting to get angry at the haughty tone he was using towards you. "You playing around." Billy says eyes narrowed. "Don't think I haven't seen you flirting with that FREAK Munson." Billy growls, throwing his soda can on the table. You sigh as it bursts, eyes following the trail of carmel liquid to the floor. "I wasn't flirting Billy, He came in searching for Max and her friends, he couldn't find them so he asked me." You grit.

"You know, asking like a sensible adult. Like you should be about this situation." You say eerily calm. Billy's anger lights up like a firework at the insult. "fuck off," he growls again. "Maybe if ya didn't parade yourself around I wouldn't have to worry." Your eyes widen at his vulgar sentence. "Shut up." Your mouth hangs open "William Hargrove, don't you dare act like you don't flirt with every single fucking girl in our fucking school. AND don't you fucking dare act like I don't fucking tolerate your dumbass shit." Your screaming now. Not one to back down from mistreatment from anyone, even your boyfriend. "Then for shit's sake leave if you don't like it!" Billy shouts at you seeing nothing but red. "Don't let the door hit you in your fucking ass on the way out either!" He roars as you grab your purse and slam the door hard on the way out.

Your tearing up slightly as you get in your car. Who knows how many miles above the speed limit your driving, but your route takes you to one of your closest friend's home, who also happens to be the cause of the argument... Eddie. Knocking on his trailer door you hear a drowsy "It's open" rouse from beyond the door. Eddie's honeyed eyes light up as you drag yourself in, but quickly dim noticing you're crying. "oh my god, sweetheart what's wrong?" you sniffle louder as he calls you the pet name Billy usually does. As he pulls you into his arms, you are reminded of how Billy's frame feels wrapped around yours, and you start bawling. The whole shebang. Complete waterworks in Eddie's arms while he tries to comfort you. "Billy-mfg-Billy hates m-me" You hiccup out.

Eddie smiles bitterly. "oh honey..." Eddie trails off not knowing what to say. "Can I just... stay here." You cut off his pitiful comfort attempt quickly, feeling like a burden already. Eddie fumbles on his words, scratching his head awkwardly as he nods "Shit-of course-uh-hell-I don't really have an extra bed or anything but I can uhm- sleep on the couch... yeah." You laugh softly at his ramble. "I'm not a princess Eddie," you sigh, "I can sleep on the couch it's fine, truly." you continue as you see a look of protest on his face. He shakes his head "I'm trying to be a gentleman here excuse you." Eddie grins boyishly, and you don't know why. It could be nerves. It could be the emotional buildup from tonight. But your heart leaps. swoons even. And with a sickening resolve, you realize Billy's argument had, unfortunately, made valid sense. However, shaking your head at the thought, you let Eddie drag you towards his room to pick out a movie to watch.

Eddie's company had proven beneficial to your mood. A mere hour into the movie and your mind was elsewhere, far away from the argument you had with Billy as you two joked about last school year, munching on various health deleterious snacks that were found in Eddie's fridge. "And then she had the AUDACITY to call me 'late for class' and told me that I had to retake the whole course!" Eddie yells in indignation as you clutch your sides from laughter. "You chose to come in through the window Eddie, what was she gonna do? tip her hat and say 'pip pip cheerio' while she was teaching about the American revolution?" You cackle as Eddie slumps back on the couch snickering. Your laughter cuts short as you hear the roar of an engine.

Billy's camaro.

You panic. How could you not. Here you were with the exact boy who had caused the argument. And you knew how Billy would react to such a turn of events. To put it lightly, violence would be involved. Before you can voice your fears however, Eddie's front door slams open. You try to scream as Billy in an angered blur hurls past you and starts throwing punches, tackling Eddie, who is cussing, to the floor. "STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HER YOU SON OF A BIT-" Billy is cut of when Eddie lands a hard punch to his gut, grimacing as he wipes his bloodied nose. "Dude!" Eddie barks "You're so full of it you don't even know what SHE'S FEELING!" Eddie spins on you pointing trying to reason with him. "I don't even want her like that man. She's your girlfriend dude so how 'bout you BLOODY listen to her feelings maybe then she wouldn't come to me dipshit!" Eddie swears once more as Billy charges at him "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he roars as he takes a winding swing. A sickening crack issues and Eddie falls to the floor holding his nose "Fucking shit Hargrove," Eddie pants from the ground.

You realize your crying when a sob lurches out of you. Hot, thick tears streaming down your face. God how you wished to be anywhere else in the world. far far far away. It's enough to take Billy out of his angered trance, as your breathing comes out in short pants. "leave him alone Billy. I'll come back with you. Hell I don't care, just stop hurting him." you say quietly turning to the door sighing. It hurt really. So much that you couldn't feel as you lurched your way to the car. As you opened the door to leave, you glance back at Billy who's staring wide eyed, almost a look of sickened fear on his face. His usual sun kissed complexion looked paled, and gaunt. "You don't deserve her Hargrove." Eddie's gravelly voice is the last thing you hear before you shut the door behind you and drive back to Billy's house.

You don't look to see If he follows you.

It's late. You knew that for sure. The sun didn't even seem to have set before you were engulfed in a night that matched your feelings. The rain was howling outside as you sat at the lamp lit table in a witchy town you wanted desperately to forget about. The only thing that was making noise in the house was the clock. The dull ticking was a comfort. A reminder to you that some things will never change.

A comfort. you remind yourself closing your eyes. Heaving in a breath you didn't know you were holding.

tick. tick. tick. tick.

It was those four seconds you would remember till the end times.

Those four seconds in which Billy came into the room, looked you in the eyes and then crumbled. Simply melted to the ground, back against the fridge. "I'm so sorry." he said simply. You show no sign of emotion as you are unchanging, and to be frank, unflattered.

As you stiffen.

he notices.

He takes into account that your usual happy, touchy, aura is gone. He realizes he's the one that caused this. He realizes that he could lose one of the only things he's loved. He realizes you could hate him. He realizes you probably do hate him. He realizes he might never feel truly loved again. He realizes that he will never love like this again. He realizes you have been one of the only people to truly care about him. He realizes he has told you his deepest secrets. He realizes how blank your usually love filled stare is. He realizes he hates himself for this. He realizes that it feels like his heart is being ripped out.

The last thing Billy realizes is that he's sobbing.

Crying harder than he's ever cried before. Crying so hard he's shaking. He can't breathe. Why would he want to anyway. Everything hurts. It hurts so so so so bad. He would rather suffocate than lose you. He's hiccuping and thinking of every single time he's done something wrong. It only worsens as he feels your hand rub on his back as you kiss his hair "Your okay my love, it's okay... you need to breathe for me darling... deep breaths." a hard shiver racks his body at your words.

"my love" you had said.

Billy doesn't believe you still love him.

"Please-I" Billy can't get the words out as his throat closes up, hoarse with pain and emotion. The pain increases as you pull him into your chest and he inhales your scent. It feels foreign and familiar all at once.

It feels foreign because he knows he might have to let you go.

"I-I- Don't deserve you- just- I'msorryI'msorry- I hate me so MUCH." Billy sobs into your chest. He flinches as he feels a tear run down his cheek. He's oh so vulnerable. Billy whimpers pathetically into your chest. He doesn't hear the sweet nothings you coo to him as you yourself let tears flow. He's broken. you both know it. There's nothing you can do about it except try to fix the boy in front of you.

And you are.

You're trying so hard to fit the puzzle pieces back together. Billy's breathing evens out as he notices he's not the one shaking anymore. It's you who is rocking him gently in your arms. His eyes flutter as your nails scratch gently at his scalp. "You deserve love Billy." his eyes roll slightly as he hears your honeyed voice. Your voice was addictive, he thought as the thoughts whirring in his brain start to slow. Billy is focusing on the steady beat of your heart. "Let me love you." Your sweet sensual drawl is back. Billy grimaces. Cringing at how much he feels for you right now. "You still love me?" His gravelly even voice startles you. It's deep, milky, and stoic. You would've never guessed he had even cried. "Always." You say pulling him closer to you.

"Forever." You ghost into the quiet room. A small whine graces Billy's parted lips at your words. You made him feel so good. "I love you." comes the deep reply. Billy is looking up at you. Icy darkened eyes concealed by his hooded eyelids. Your mind reels, you think you've forgotten how to breathe. You'd never get used to hearing that from him. It made your heart swell every time he would say it. every. single. time.

"I love you too." you say it full of meaning. It's like a promise. A promise to hold him for as long as he needs. A promise to be there when no one else is. A promise to simply love him. You don't think you could want to promise something more than this.

A calm, needed silence enters the room, as Billy tilts up his head to kiss you. You sigh into the kiss, wanting to get drunk on the feeling of his body against yours. The last thing you allow yourself to think about before you give in to the godly pleasure of Billy, Is the clock.

tick.tick.tick.tick.

Some things, will never change.

And you hoped to God, your love was one of them.

-----

a/n: IM SOSOSOOSOOSOSO sorry it took this long. first i had a performance to end my acting classes out and after that i had to take a mental health break. I really hope you enjoy!! thank you so much for requesting and reading my love <3

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove x female!reader #stranger things billy hargrove #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove angst #billy hargove smut #billy my beloved #billy stranger things #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove fandom

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jaennie · 3 years

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#sometimes it's so hard to deal with anxiety and stress #i don't wanna be a burden to anyone but i truly feel so annoying even when i want to clear my mind and put things into places #since i know that most people are going through their own thing #i need to learn not to feel guilty for that but it's a lot although i'm trying my best #usually being a clown helps but nowadays it's a bit harder i just really want to escape reality #my dumb thoughts i hope i will forget it in a few hours and everything will be better

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angellesword · 3 years

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YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (10)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It's simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if...Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

"A future without you is a world without color."

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

SERIES: CHAPTER 9 | CHAPTER 11

Note: I just wanna dedicate this chapter to @jooniebugg coz your feedback in Your Eyes Tell (09) is <333 and it inspired me to write chapter 10! some lines in this update is my response to your comment heheh :*

You were not in trouble, but Jeongguk was.

"Guk," Jimin let out a breath as he closed his eyes. "Slow down, okay? I can't understand what you're saying."

But Jeongguk couldn't do it. He was sobbing uncontrollably that Jimin literally had to tell him to breathe.

Jeongguk tried to follow the instruction of his best friend's boyfriend. Breathe. It should be easy, right? He only needed to stop thinking about you in able to breathe properly.

Unfortunately, it was difficult to get you out of his mind.

"You good?"

Your soulmate nodded even though Jimin couldn't see his face. They're currently talking over the phone. Jimin called him after finding out what happened during the trial.

It was all over the news. Countless of articles were published online. Most of them were unreliable and full of speculations.

Jimin gave up after reading one sentence. He knew he had to call you to know the truth—or at least the fragments of truth. Jimin wasn't really interested in the case; he was only interested to know what was up with you.

Were you alright?

Jimin found some of your decisions in life questionable, yet he didn't say anything. He remained tight-lipped when you told him about your entangled fate not only with Jeongguk, but also with your assistant and client.

Just like your soulmate, Jimin could not understand why you were trying to defend Kim Seokjin. Their reason was different though. Jeongguk's thoughts were selfish. Jimin, on the contrary, was plain curious.

Why were you so invested in this case?

Was it because of your stubborn nature? Jimin knew that once you set your mind into something, you wouldn't stop until you won.

Jimin only learned to accept your competitive side when he realized that you were raised this way.

You didn't choose to be like this. You were actually forced to be like this. This being the case, Jimin was only able to release an exhausted breath after Jeongguk told him what happened in the courtroom.

Some might say that you pushed too hard, but this didn't give Mrs. Kim the right to hurt you.

"It's my fault, hyung. I wasn't there to protect her." Jeongguk bit the inside of his cheek.

It had been an hour since you locked yourself in your room and Jeongguk wasn't sure whether to comfort you or to just leave you alone.

It felt like you preferred the latter option. Jimin told your soulmate that you weren't answering your phone, an obvious indication that you didn't want to talk to anyone. This was also the reason why Jimin decided to just call Jeongguk to know if you were okay.

You weren't.

It was weird, but Jeongguk was positive he could feel your heart breaking. If this was any other day, he was sure that he would simply ignore this, but something definitely changed. Jeongguk didn't know why, but he had this intense urge to embrace you—to make you feel better.

"But you can protect her now, Guk. It will be hard, but please..." Jimin begged your soulmate. He didn't want to burden Jeongguk; however, the latter was the only person who could comfort you right now.

As much as Jimin wanted to embrace you, he couldn't. He was in Busan, his hometown, at the moment. Jimin was processing some important documents because he's planning to ask Taehyung to marry him.

"W-What can I do to make her feel better?" Jeongguk stammered. He's nervous, but he's decided. He couldn't let you go through this alone. It hadn't even been a day, yet he already missed your goofy side.

"You're a smart boy, Jeon. You'll figure out what she wants."

What do you want?

Jeongguk's heart was recoiling once again. He realized that he never knew what you wanted since you were always catering what others wanted.

You were a people pleaser.

"But if nothing works, just call her parents." This was Jimin's last reminder before ending the call.

Your soulmate didn't understand why Jimin thought it would be a good idea to call your parents. Jeongguk was pretty sure he could bring the smile back on your face without the help of anyone. He just needed to make sure you were not in some kind trouble first.

Jeongguk opened your laptop to send an email to your boss and other clients, telling them that you were taking a break from work.

Jeongguk was tired by the end of the week. Jimin was right. It was difficult to help you get back on your feet, mainly because you weren't trying.

You stayed in bed most of the time, you barely touched your food, and he felt like you didn't even want to live.

You looked so unmotivated that in the end, Jeongguk decided to just message your parents and invite them to your apartment—this was the reason why he was in trouble.

"You can't just do this without consulting me, Jeongguk."

His scowl deepened when you called him using his given name. You only did this when you were serious or mad. In this case, he figured out that you were mad—or at least he thought you were mad. Your voice was rough, similar to the tone you used when you were inside the courtroom.

Jeongguk was scared.

He was scared to upset you again.

"But Jimin-hyung told me to call your parents!" He reasoned out. Blaming your best friend was the only way Jeongguk could think of so that he could finally escape your piercing glare.

It worked.

Your expression softened a bit, though this didn't mean that he wasn't in trouble anymore.

"Jeongguk," this time your voice sounded tired.

"Y-Yes?" He pretended like he was busy sweeping the floor. Everything needed to be perfect because your parents would be here shortly.

You already accepted your tragic fate. It was decided. You were going to meet your mother and father today.

Damn it.

"Why did you block Hoseok's number?"

You saw how Jeongguk froze after hearing your question. No doubt, he was guilty.

"I-I didn't do it!" He lied.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

"You're not a good liar..." Amusement was now dancing in your voice.

Jeongguk had been using your phone to respond to your prospective clients. These people just didn't know how to stop. They kept texting your personal number even though Jeongguk told them that you were on a leave.

Your phone didn't have a passcode that's why he was able to freely access it.

You didn't mind. In fact, you were grateful. He saved your career. If he didn't send a notice of leave to your boss, you were sure you're gonna get fired.

"I'm not lying!" His lips protruded into a sulky pout. "I didn't send those messages!"

"Huh." You arched your brow. "But I only asked why you blocked Hoseok. I didn't say you texted him using my number."

Jeongguk's eyes went wide.

He was instantly busted.

"H-He was spamming you with useless messages!"

"I don't think so," you shook your head as you read the conversation. His excuse just kept on getting worse.

"Wow. You're cold," you could imagine Hoseok's disbelief upon seeing the thumbs up emoji. It was actually apparent by your friend's response.

"Jeongguk..." You called his name again.

"What!?" Why was he getting annoyed?

"You don't want Hoseok to kiss me?"

Jeongguk looked like the emoji he sent to Hoseok.

"And why would I want that!?" His chest was heaving up and down. You couldn't see, but his face was as red as tomatoes.

You suddenly laughed, causing Jeongguk's heart to swell in joy. This was the first time he heard you laugh after weeks of getting used to your impassive face.

Were you finally moving on?

Jeongguk guessed you were. Your expression literally changed the moment your parents arrived.

You looked happy to see them—too happy that Jeongguk felt like he was only imagining your annoyed expression a short while ago.

Didn't you say you hated the fact that he invited your parents to your place?

You did say that. Unfortunately Jeongguk had no idea how much you hated talking to your mom.

You swore you loved her with all of your heart, though her principles were different from what you believed in. It was draining to pretend like you agree with her.

"So how's the case you've been handling, sweetheart?" Your mother's sweet smile made you cringe.

It hadn't been long since she pulled you inside your room to 'talk.'

Your parents had already met Jeongguk. As expected, they loved him. Your soulmate made it very easy to like him. Perhaps it was because of his eyes. Damn those big, doe eyes. It never failed to make your heart melt.

"Good." You walked towards your bedroom door. "Let's go back to the kitchen. I think Jeongguk prepared some desserts."

"Dessert could wait, dear." Your mom offered you another sickening smile. It was the kind of smile that told you to give up. She always had her way of making you follow what she wanted you to do.

"Come on, eomma." You laughed nervously as you told her that your soulmate was excited to let her try his yaksik, a popular dessert that your mom truly loved.

You didn't know how Jeongguk found out your mother's favorite dessert. You just knew that you were willing to eat dozens of yaksik just to get away from your mom. You didn't even care if your stomach was still full after eating the lunch your soulmate had cooked.

Your mom only shrugged her shoulders as if she didn't hear what you said.

"Tell me about the Kim's case." She demanded as she meticulously inspected your wardrobe.

Your heartbeat doubled.

It was easy to simply give into what she desired because you were certain that she wouldn't stop anyway.

Sadly you couldn't speak—not anymore. Not when you knew how all of this would go.

You wanted to move on from this nightmare on your own. All your life, you relied upon what your mother would say.

"You can't be sad over this. It's nothing compared to what I've been through!"

"Stop crying. You just think you're hurt. You're not."

"No. You can't. That shows weakness."

These were some of the things your mother would say whenever you encountered problems in life. She honed you to be this strong person who wasn't allowed to mope.

You remembered her telling you that it was insensitive of you to cry over little things when it was clear that so many people had it worse than you.

This was exactly why you didn't want to meet your mother today. She would force you to stop feeling bad about Seokjin's case since it was petty.

It was funny actually. People admired you for always ignoring the pain you felt.

You found this toxic. It felt like you were expected to be strong—making you feel like you should heal right away and not with your own pace. This was also the reason why you found it hard to open up to people, even if you were really close to that someone.

Your mother made you feel like there would always be some kind of adversary when it came to handling inconveniences in life. Sometimes you wished people would shut up and just listen. You didn't always need advice. What you wanted was for them to stop quantifying pain because people had different tolerance when it came to feeling what's painful and what's not.

"I think I lost," it took everything not to cry in front of her. At the end of the day, you were still afraid to be perceived as weak.

She had that much control over you.

"Why did you lose?" Her voice was stone cold.

Your response was automatic. You told her what happened during the trial in spite of telling yourself that you would never get swayed by her authoritarian nature anymore.

"You don’t have to answer. I know now why you lost." She crossed her arms as she shook her head at you.

"Didn't I tell you? You lost because you didn't acquire enough knowledge." She proceeded to tell you what you already knew.

Your mom always said that knowledge is power, but the word "knowledge" that was delicately tattooed on your Achilles heel said otherwise.

For you, knowledge is downfall. This was why you chose to have that word tattooed on your Achilles heel—a part of your body that symbolized fatal weakness.

You were working as an auditor before you decided to go to law school. You knew this field inside out and it came with a price. You helped a firm conceal fraudulent acts using your knowledge.

It was a dangerous thing. Your mom tolerated your unprofessionalism since she was a major stockholder in the said company. She actually pushed you to continue the misrepresentation; however, you were guilty.

You couldn't do it anymore. You couldn't use the power you acquired to fool people. Law school taught you to uphold justice, but you were blinded once again.

You failed to see the impact of your actions to Soobin, an innocent soul. Maybe your mother was right. You were bound to fail your law career. Maybe you should just go back to the corporate world and help billionaires to achieve their disgusting scheme.

"Sorry," you swallowed hard, looking straight into your mother's eyes. "I'll do better."

"You should be." She gritted her teeth as she continued to invalidate your emotions.

You wondered when the torture would stop. You just wanna lie in bed and sleep the pain away. Luckily Jeongguk came knocking on your door, saving you from your mother's poisonous words.

"Wait," Jeongguk stopped you from following your mom to the living room.

"What's wrong?" He cupped your face; worry was evident in his eyes. You looked like you were in pain.

Did your mother say something to you? Jeongguk wondered.

"Nothing." But you brushed him off before he could ask.

Jeongguk pursed his lips into a thin line. He swore something was wrong, but he didn't want to push it since it was clear that you were not in the mood to talk about it.

But he couldn't stay still knowing that you were bothered. This being the case, he went out of his way just to make you smile.

Jeongguk was being such a good boy. He kept on praising you in front your parents. He was also respectful towards them. His jokes were appropriate and he smiled so kindly at them.

His lingering touch on your wrist, waist, and shoulders didn't go unnoticed by you. It was like he was guarding you from any possible danger.

"What do you think about this, my sweet daughter?" Your father showed you his artwork with a proud smile.

You chuckled.

Jeongguk was teaching your father how to draw.

"You did great, Appa!" You weren't lying. He had done a good job sketching The Hulk.

"Really? What about the color? Do you like it?"

You nodded eagerly. It wouldn't hurt to lie, right?

"I like the shade of green that you used."

You were expecting your father to smile back because of your compliment. Sadly, he only stared at you blankly.

"What?" A nervous giggle escaped your lips.

Your parents and even Jeongguk were making you feel awkward. Why were they looking at you like you were a poor, poor soul?

"This Hulk is color pink." Your father said softly, making your breathing hitch.

He was trying to show contrast. The Hulk was the personification of rage. He colored him pink because in your world, the mentioned color symbolized gentleness. He wanted you to see in his drawing that people should be gentle even though they're angry.

You ruined it.

They probably know by now that you were lying when you said earlier that you could see colors.

Why did you even lie?

Why couldn't you just tell them that Jeongguk wasn't in love with you?

"Ah," you scratched the back of your head. "Is it pink? Sorry, Appa. I'm still trying to learn colors."

Your lie was understandable. You told your parents that you met Jeongguk a few months ago. It was impossible to know all colors in a short period of time.

You knew you weren't a great liar, but damn. When you looked at Jeongguk, he was smiling as he mouthed, "it is okay," to you.

He was saying that you were doing well, that you didn't ruin what your father had been wishing for: he wanted you to be loved by your soulmate.

You felt like Jeongguk loved you.

You couldn't stop staring at your soulmate as he continued to smile brightly at you.

In this moment, you swore you could see the brown in his eyes.

Or so you thought.

You just couldn't have one peaceful day, could you?

"N-No..." Your voice broke, tears falling down on the sheet of paper you were holding.

Your parents already left. Jeongguk was kind enough to drive them back to their hotel.

You were alone in the house.

The paper in your hand was mocking you, telling you that you would forever be alone in this house.

TRANSFER OF OWNERSHIP IN A CONTRACT TO SELL Vendee Jeon Jeongguk of Room 13, Apartment X, Seoul, South Korea—you stopped reading the next words.

You couldn't believe it.

Jeon Jeongguk was going to leave you.

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

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Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #harurin #free!#nanase haruka #rin matsuoka

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goddessofthundathighs · 5 years

Text

Chapter 3, Pt. 2

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Summary: An arrogant young disciple of Bastet is forced to spend lifetimes roaming Earth in search for her soulmate, but what happens when she tries to run from destiny?

A/N: For those of you that have seen Fahrenheit 451, Abhimani is taking on the role of Clarisse McClellan. Writing cred for this chapter goes to @panthergoddessbast! I love you or whatever..

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Stepping into his bathroom with a determined gait, he requested Yuxie go dark.

“I am secure now Montag,” a melodic electronic voice rang through the sanitary walls.

As he sat on the covered toilet seat, Guy revealed that which seemed to be burning a hole in his chest the second he put it there, pressing it against his body as Beatty stood in front of him.

Notes From Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

His fingers touched and caressed the cover. What could have happened if the captain would have discovered it in his possession? He shook those thoughts out of his head and opens the book to the first page of the first chapter.

“I am a sick man. I am a wicked man. An unattractive man. I think my liver hurts.”

Getting even more curious, he flips to page 25.

“I agree that two times two is four is an excellent thing but two times two is five is sometimes also a most charming little thing.”

“False.” That same robotic blurted into what Guy thought was his own solitary.

“Yuxie I said go dark!”

“We are dark. It’s just me and you but that is false. Two times two can only be four. What are you doing Montag?”

A wide eyed look of fear was written all over his face as he looked around for what to do next. The voice seemed to know he was doing something he shouldn’t be.

“Are you feeling ok?” The voice almost seemed concerned for the panicked man’s well being. He hopped up from his seated position and tucks the book back to its original hiding place, storming out of the room in haste with the voice questioning where he was going already in the background as he set out to his destination.

He approached the train station and ventured to the stop entrance where he placed in his finger in order to be properly identified and was allowed passage to catch his train.

“I don’t think that old woman killed herself. I think they staged it. It’s all fake. They didn't even bother to sync her lips this time, you saw that shit right? Yeah they definitely murdered her.” The man in glasses badgers away as Abhimani tries to focus on the tinkering task between her fingers. He was definitely annoying her.

“Why do you keep going on about it?” The man looks pensively at her as though he was wondering what made her say something that insensitive.

“Hey you good?” She ignored him completely.

“Mani you know what we’re working on. We need someone with your connections so you tell me when you’re ready to come back to us.”

At this point the two were locked in deep eye lock, staring each other down before Mani looked back down to continue her task then gathered her things to leave the shanty like bar.

I am not tryna to get mixed in with none of their revolutionary drama. I have my own mission.

Bag secured on her back with both straps, she set her trek for home.

As she walked further, she heard her Goddess’ voice.

“Pace yourself, child, and do not fear.”

Wait what?

She got deeper into her journey home when she felt a presence. Like she was being followed.

She cut through the power plant to see if that person would persist and went in between some trailers. Turning around abruptly and unsheathing her boxcutter, Mani confronted her stalker.

‘’Who are you? What do you want?”

“Whoa!”

“You'll learn to listen to me one day, my darling.”

There he stood with his hands up in surrender. Her mate had returned and this time he appears to have come alone granted she had her suspicions.

“Did Beatty send you?”

“No I just came to talk to…”

“What do you want?”

He had the looks of someone who had so much on their shoulders with not a clue as to what the burdens they carried truly meant. His eyes held hers with desperate but intent purpose. Like she held the answers.

“I wanna know what that old woman was.”

“I don’t know.” The hand holding her weapon began a slight tremor. Yes this was the person she was meant to be with but she had no inkling as to what he was truly capable of.

“She lit herself on fire for books. Why?”

“Why do you care?”

His eyes blazed as he answered.

“Because I can still smell her burning.”

“You did that.”

“And you told us exactly where to find her.”

At that statement, Mani slowly lowers weapon cause he clearly wanted something else other than to harm or interrogate her.

“She didn’t say coward. She said omnis. What is that?”

She was extremely hesitant to answer him. She wasn't sure if that was her place. It wasn't her secret to tell so she replied with an unsteady voice.

“I don’t know.”

Guy stepped forward and began to unzip his jacket which put her back on the defense and made her hold up her boxcutter once again. He sensed her trepidation.

“I just wanna show you something.”

The zipper went down slowly as to not alarm the robust woman any further and his hand reached into his pocket to unveil the book he had been carrying. He held it like a delicate egg that would crack if you squeezed too hard, his eyes glued as he turned it over in his hands then connected eyes with Abhimani.

“I took it from her house.”

Him falling into her midst seemed much too easy to her. All the trials and tribulations she had experienced in all her past lives. In his past lives. It couldn't be this simple. Could it?

“Is this a trap pipeman?”

His eyes thinned and eyebrows scrunched in contempt. “If anybody sees me with this, I’m dead.”

She instantly put her knife down and he stepped even closer to her holding out the book to her as a peace offering. She held his gaze for what seemed like eternity before reaching her hand out to accept the book in her own hand. Their eyes transferring cosmic energy between them. Mani reached her hand out to grasp the bound written pages thus starting a ripple of emotions within Guy because nothing have ever felt so right to him.

So he followed her into that old dilapidated building. Trailing behind her and peeking around corners to make sure that they were not being followed.

“Hey Mani.”

The woman with the big baby which seemed to be permanently attached to her hip appeared out of thin air at the most inopportune time causing Mani to push her door open and rush Guy through so the woman would not see the pipeman. As she stood held up in the hallway, he took a gander around her space before crossing over the room to see out of the window to ensure again that they were not being followed. He was already in deep with this book in his possession. What would it look like for Guy Montag, the golden burning boy, to be seen at an Eel’s house?

“She didn't see who you were.” Finally she had been released from the hall and entered her space. She had never been in such close quarters with her mate before. Who seemed to her unattached to anyone and freely available.

Thank God. I couldn't take him having another family. No one needs to suffer more than they have but he's so dazzling. I might just understand why this is happening to me.

“I shouldn't be here.”

Wait no! You just got here, you can't leave I just found you!

“Then leave.”

No you dumb bitch dont tell him that.

Now that would be a little counterproductive, wouldn’t it?

Anubis’ voice rang in her brain as he slinked out from the kitchen towards them. Guy’s eyes flashing down to the tiny furry body before looking back up to meet hers from across the room.

Oh go spit up a hairball.

Reaching over, she turned on her lamp by the door and he followed suit with the lamp on her dresser then proceeded to look through her drawers.

“Please don't do that.” He looked like a deer caught in headlights as he slowly slide the drawer back to its original closed position then went about observing the rest of her private place.

Mani took a seat on her bed and clutched the book in hand, smelling its natural scent of ink and paper along with all the places it could have been in the past. Pine, cinnamon, gasoline. It transported her all over. Guy’s fingers twiddled between her vinyls against the wall and he picked up one. He had burned them but had never taken the time to actually look at them. They were so lightweight. No wonder his boots crushed them with the slightest effort. His eyes travelled to her, her nose still lost in the book’s journey.

“Can you read that out loud? Please?”

Turning her body around to face him, she opened the book and began to read.

“Even if men were nothing but a piano key, even if this were proved to him by natural science and mathematics, even then he will invent destruction and chaos. He will invent all kinds of suffering out of ingratitude simply to convince himself that he is a man and not a piano key.”

Her voice rang so clear in his ears. Flowed right through and soothed his erratic soul, his heartbeat ,which had been racing this entire time, slowed down to a steady beat. Nothing had ever sounded so right to him before in his life. And all he could do was stop and watch the way her lips moved as they embraced each syllable and word.

“Hard to understand right? The Ministry has been wiping away language in order to wipe away thought. There used to be 6,000 languages in the world. Today there are fewer than 60. Why do you think the Ministry wants to create one universal language on the 9?”

He answered without hesitation.

“For the connection and happiness of all Natives.”

They way his voice faltered. He used to be so sure and confident in society, its beliefs and morals, rules and regulations. He had known absolutely nothing so of course he thought nothing of it. Now he hadn't the foggiest idea of what to think about his world anymore.

Standing from her seated position on the bed, Mani made her way to the chaise against the wall to strip off her backpack and bulky jacket to reveal a thin tank with large sleeve cut outs. Her ample side cleavage just barely visible to Guy but enough to make his eye wonder to rest of her body as she removed her excess layers while still remaining totally engaged in the words she said.

“During the Second Civil War, the old tech companies, they built systems to predict our thoughts. Then they became the Ministry or the Ministry joined them and they sold us what we wanted, self and happiness, which the nine provides in spades and what you are hired to defend with fire.”

He was disappointed when she placed a thin sweater over her shoulders. Her pretty sable skin was like his own but seemed better? Silkier? He couldn't place it but he knew he didn't like the fact that she was shielding it from his gaze. Her declaration about the Ministry did pique his interest.

“So you’re telling me that people wanted it this way?”

“Nah they didn't do this to us. We did it to ourselves, demanded it even.”

The bright light of a drone passed by the window making Guy change his position so that the light would not catch him. He leans against the wall to further take his frame out of site, keeping his eye on the window he continues to speak.

“Let me ask you something. Benjamin Franklin. Did he start the first fire department?”

Mani knew that lie well. Why these mortals insisted in telling it, she had no clue.

“To put fires out, not start them.”

“Beatty told me the opposite.”

“Oh I know exactly what he told you. He’s really a creep, you should see about getting a new captain or something. He’s awful. He might believe that himself or perhaps he's lying. Maybe when he was in your position, his captain lied to him. Do you have trouble with memory? Take a lot of drops?”

He took a beat and was about to answer the question but felt too much in the hot seat so now was the time to flip the script.

“What about you? Can you remember your past?”

Now there was a question the short, once ethereal beauty had no answer to. She truly couldn’t recall anything of the life she had prior to becoming one of her Goddess’ holy disciples. She would get fragments ever so often but nothing was ever quite clear enough for her to decipher. Blinking rapidly, she briskly walked past Guy to enter her kitchen asking him if he was hungry. His eyes follows her full figure flitting about the space. He sensed her hesitation to answer but wanted to know more about her. Her delicate but brazen way of calling him out on his own and the world’s techno-totalitarian bullshit intrigued him. He would watch from afar during her meetings with the captain, always close enough to see and hear but not ever approaching her himself. He felt drawn to her by some odd cosmic force that there was no explanation for. He watches her pour some clear liquid into a small cup then turned to face with a bittersweet look on her face leaning back with her hands braced upon the counter tops.

“What about your parents? Can you remember them?”

“I was raised by Eels to be an Eel posing as a Native. We read, watched movies, all that you are instructed to burn was ours and by the time I was a teenager, I wanted to be like you. Normal. So I run away to consume myself with the life. Drowned my eyes in drops, got hooked on the 9, the whole bit and for awhile it worked, I was happy. Then shit happened. I started selling graffiti to survive.”

A sinking sense of guilt washed over Mani’s head like a destructive cumulonimbus cloud as she turned her back to him. That woman who burned herself on the 9.

“I didn't know that woman would be there.”

That got the gears in Guy’s head turning even faster than they already were. A whirlwind of thoughts invading his brain.

“I never thought about the people behind the things that I burn. I mean they must have spent their entire lives making things and here I come, in two seconds, it’s gone.”

Just like my life amongst the panthers and my Goddess. Taken from me without my knowing.

She had begun to slowly turn back to face his leaning body in her kitchen door frame, their eyes locked for what could have been an eternity. Electricity passing between their pupils.

You’re on your way my darling. Keep going.

“I want to show you something.”

She rushes back to the other room to her backpack to retrieve the harmonica she had found and repaired earlier that day. There were many things she was allowed to do in the Ancestral Plane that the Natives of this world couldn't even grasp the concept of since it had been completely annihilated from their culture. Music being one of them. Raising the small metal instrument to her mouth and cupping it gently, she blew out a beautiful clear melodic note almost scaring Guy then began a little jaunty tune. He had never heard this kind of thing before and was unsure as to what sound he would get. It was most definitely not what he thought would come out. He looks on at Mani, his eyes never leaving her as she stepped slowly around the open space of her apartment, playing the kitchy jiggle. She steps closer to her bed lowering herself to sit on the bed as she moved the hand she held on the outside up and down changing the sound and finishing the song with a bouncy flourish. A small and genuine small graced Guy’s face and she felt this surge of emotion in her chest as he looked at her. Shyness. No one hadn't looked at her like that in more years than she could remember. As a matter of fact, she couldn’t remember anyone every looking at her with the sense of adoration he seemed to. That made her cheeks warm and her heart flutter. She holds the music piece out to him.

“Try it.”

He angles his head in a teasing manner as if to ask was she serious. Mani smiles softly at him.

“Come on.”

With that, he walks over to take the seat right next to her on the bed and takes the harmonica in hand. He turns it over back and forth to try to see the mechanics of how such a small device could make such pretty and resonating sounds. Then he attempted to cup his hands around it in the same manner she had just done. Anubis decided it was a good idea to make himself comfortable on the lap, curling his tail around his body purring which surprised both humans present.

“Like this?”

Mani smile widens a little and she nods her head. He blows out a harsh breath resulting in a loud harmonic toot which frightens them both causing them to chuckle. He liked the way her giggle sounded, it warmed him. He did it a second time, this time a much slower, gentler sound came since he had not put so much force into it. Giggling, she placed her smaller hands on his to form them better on the instrument.

“Here try it like this. There you go now try it again.”

He was starting to get lost in the way her hands felt touching him. Though it was innocent in nature, it lit a small fire in him. Mani had felt the heat the second their skin touched. She kept her hand over his as she instructed him to try again and shook his hand the way she had done hers to make that musical quiver. Judging by the look on his face when he stopped playing, he was pretty pleased with himself and even more pleased with her. Guy tucked his bottom lip between his teeth as they kept each other’s gaze while sitting shoulder to shoulder. The closest they had been the entire night. He would be coming back to see her without a doubt.

And he did for weeks on end, he would come and she would read aloud for him. He couldn't get enough of her voice, her smell, her touch, everything just had to be her. It was an almost suffocating but euphoric feeling he felt every time they spent within the 4 walls of her small apartment. She would read a passage of the book and then hand it over to him so he could take over. At first he took the book with trepidation, unsure if he could read as deeply as she does then that feeling was all but forgotten once he began to sound off. Work had began to get more demanding and Beatty more merciless as the pressure of his impending new position weighed on him. Flashbacks of his father being beaten outside in the rain by his fellow firemen flashed in his eyes constantly as he worked to capture the very people he had become. It became his double life coming to Mani’s place and he looked forward to every single visit. They began to get closer to one another. Small touches turned to lingering holds, sitting side by side to her cuddling against his chest as he read. They were falling in love and yet her Goddess hadn't come to take her from this hellhole of a universe.

Be patient my pupil. You still have much to learn.

With that, the fallen woman would leave those thoughts be and continue to enjoy her Guy. She was beginning to understand what all the mortal commotion was about. Until one night the fire squad came to the shop she often fixes graffitti and lined all who were there in a line demanding answers. The captain walks up and down the line like a predator stalking its prey, judging which one of them would be the easiest catch.

“I know one of your Eels knows something about the Omnis.”

He stopped right in front of her. eyes scanning and probing into her very being. He was much too close for her and Guy’s comfort, who was watching the encounter nearby. The desire to step in and interfere was overwhelming and hard to suppress but he know that if he did he would have more of an issue on his hand. He remained on his guard. The captain leaned close enough that Mani could feel his breath upon on her cheek and whispered.

“What if I told these people what you do? What would be worse… What I do to you or what they would?”

He takes several steps back to observe her firm face but eyes hard with a twinge of fear. Despite not truly caring about this world, Abhimani know the consequences of it. Having dealt with it herself in the past, she wasn't trying to get tangled in any of that ever again. And she had finally got her mate…

“We’re all the same here.”

A tall, slender man stepped forward out of the line in her defense shocking her and the man who stood to torment her.

“Whatever you do to her, you do to us.”

Beatty signals a weapon be handed to him and proceeded to go over to the outspoken man.

“Is that so? I understand. You wanna be help each other. Comradery and all that..”

With that last word, the captain bludgers the man with the blunt end of the weapon and continues down the line.

“I am your judge and I am your court. I receive you when you come and…”

He strikes another in the line.

“I dismiss you when you go!”

Guy couldn't watch anymore nor could he risk anything happen to Mani so he slicked off to the building’s breaker box, flipping the switch and shrouding the entire place in darkness right as Beatty was close to her. He ignited the fire on his flamethrower to shed some light as the Eels fled the scene rapidly. The captain commanded his subordinates to gather them back together and everything was in chaos around her. She tries to dip and dodge the firemen but trips over her own feet under the weight of her heavy backpack. Guy catches her in his arms.

“Come on. Come here.”

His eyes dart around to make sure they are not being watched which seems highly plausible in all the ruckus. He guides her to exit and she turns to him.

You have to let him go for now!

But my Lady I just found him!

I never said it was over silly girl now go!

With the warning growl from her Goddess, Mani takes off running to her place so that she can gather some supplies to escape. There was still some people she know would help her if she just got to them before the firemen caught up with her. The city was on the ultimate lockdown, transit checkpoints, border patrols, and all were ordered to “stay vivid on the 9.”

Mani rummages around her small space, grabbing what she needed for her journey. Her adrenaline was still pumping from the earlier and her hands shook as she packed. The sudden knock on her door startles her. She gingerly approaches it before peeking out the makeshift peephole and letting out a sigh of relief seeing it was her mate. The door flies open followed by Guy hastily walking in and immediately grabs her in his hands looking her over frantically.

“Are you ok? You hurt? I wanted to leave with you but I..”

“Montag slow down. I’m fine but I have to get out of here. Did anyone follow you here?”

Mani gently wriggles her body out his iron grasp, turning to resume her semi-organized packing job. He watched her move around her place just as he had during his first visit but his eyes that were once filled with curiosity and desire burned with sadness and despair.

“No I was looking over my shoulder the whole way here. Wait where you gonna go?”

“A compound far out. Some family friends hiding out there I think I can help.”

“Mani there’s checkpoints all over the city. You think you can make it there?”

“I have connections to avoid those.”

By this time, she had stopped her rummaging and found herself standing face to face with him. They stared and stared hoping one of them could find the answers to all their problems. Both of their emotions in a tizzy. How could they give each other up so quickly when they had finally gotten close? She didn't want to let him go. What did all this mean?

I swear I love my Goddess but she's making things very difficult for me. This isn't fair.

She couldn’t express what she was feeling. Perhaps it was what it felt like when a puzzle was missing that one piece. Utterly incomplete and totally wrong. She wasn't sure if she could bare being separated from him again, not when she had finally gotten to know his heart.

“Will I ever see you again?’

She wasn't sure if the question was for Guy or for his soul that was connected to hers. The softly uttered question made his heart flutter. She raised a hand to his cheek, holding his face in her palm. His hand comes to her wrist wrapping his fingers around it gently with his thumb running across her skin. Their faces graviated closer to each other with each passing breath until they seemed to be exchanging oxygen, both sets of lips so ready to touch when the door unexpectedly bursts open and firemen pour in. Beatty saunters in, hands clasped together in front of him with a mischievous look in his face with an evil intent. The two were jerked apart despite the tight hold they had on each other.

“You really thought we weren't watching you. You should be a little smarter than that Montag.”

“Just leave her alone captain. I'll take whatever punishment you deem appropriate, just let her go.”

Beatty looked as though he was actually contemplating his request. Mani could hear her heartbeat in her ears, feel it in her throat, and struggled to keep it in her chest. The room was so silent you could practically each passing puff of air out of every mouth present.

“That’s a pretty good offer there. Why don't we start right here?”

He had unsheathed a blade that no one saw coming and filled Mani’s abdomen with its metal. Seeing what the captain had done, Guy began to thrash against the hold of his fellow firemen but they held fast.

As her vision began to blur all she could her was her mate’s cries and her own thoughts.

Well goddamn it that wasn't supposed to happen.

——————————

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#Next Lifetime #Erik Stevens #Adonis Creed #Wallace #Guy Montag #Abhimani Wright #Soulmate AU #vanity writes #my shit #Bastet #Panther Goddess Bast #Erik x Black OC

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