this saturday I’m going to see my mother for the first time in 10 years
I desperately want to dress as gnc and weird as possible (definitely doing the shortest undercut possible short of fully shaving the sides) but also we’re going to a somewhat nice restaurant+it’s been hot lately so my current trend of shirts with loud prints might not be ideal, and neither is my other option of dressing all in black
I don't know how the others feel about this, but sometimes, I worry about what an integrated or fully melded system would look like in us...
Not that I don't want to be medically recognized as "healed", but I don't know how much of me would survive
Just because I'm a fighter doesn't mean I can't be scared. I don't want to disappear. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to integrate fully. I know that, medically, it's the best end goal, but I feel like I want to push back against it.