#i don't. know if im actually gonna finish the whole thing but who knows lol

[fullonfandomindulgence]

dimple is a great fucking character and i will fight anyone who says otherwise. specifically i will fight them by making them read this masterpiece client-crashing god-tackle effortpost about dimple

ive deliberately put off watching the telepathy arc episodes so i could finish this. i like tome So Much. you have no idea how much willpower it took. but it is done and its abt dimples like whole story and purpose and life and i think its a real good thing for you to read and enjoy

im so serious about this that I'm gonna capitalize and punctuate. My sorta thesis here is that Dimple's goals of manipulation are an expression of the basic act of choice that Mob Psycho 100 defines as living, but caring for Mob freaks him out because it distracts him from that purpose, and that contradiction and desperation to choose to live through control is tragically what ends him. Dimple is a friend. Strap in, motherfuckers, we're going for a ride.

Dimple's Goals (Dimpoals)

This is kinda an easy one.

I'm gonna be using images from the show and the comics but I'm not talking about anything past season three, episode six, so no worries anime-onlys. I describe all relevant visual info for each image, though there are also extra IDs in the alt text--I try not to repeat information.

Dimple wants to be a god, "the ultimate being in all creation," "the greatest power in the whole world," and "an object of devotion for all humanity." This dovetails with ideas about superiority and idealism in other parts of the comic but this post ain't about that. It's important that he never says what he'd actually do as a god. Like what is the power for? This comes up in his final confrontation with Mob, too.

Dimple claims that Psycho Helmet leads "people onto the right path," but the second Mob interrogates that he admits he has no plan, "no codex of any kind" from the comic. I don't think that's entirely true, though. Clearly Dimple doesn't care about ruling, because he doesn't actually know what he'd do with the power. But he does want to be revered--he wants positive attention!

Dimple's LOL cult is all about people laughing, and in this panel he says he chose that so he could gain a following without violence. Dimple's attempt with the divine tree is the same, he's trying to keep people the same besides their worship of the tree, make them feel happy in togetherness, help them "find peace at heart." I think there is a reading where making people happy is just a means to an end for Dimple. He for sure tries to kill Mob the first time they meet. But he doesn't have any logic for why he's not, like, using his powers to threaten people and demand tribute. He wants to become a god by making people feel good.

All this said--he's not gonna do it by being himself.

Identifying as evil

When Dimple meets Reigen he identifies himself as an evil spirit. Obviously this is sort of a joke. Like the idea that Mob's pet/mascot is actually an ancient malevolent ghost is pretty funny. But it's meaningful for Dimple's character too, so let's talk about what "evil" looks like. First, obviously the possession thing. How good is it that among all the people trying to manipulate Mob, one of them wants to literally control his every move? Second, here's a bunch of bad stuff Dimple did that Mob thinks about right after Teru tries to exorcise him:

Bro! She's like fourteen! (Dimple makes a lecherous comment about Tsubomi in this image.) He threatens Reigen, he tells Mob the body improvement club is a waste of his time, he straight up asks Mob if he can possess him... He's vindictive, pushy, mocking, and transparently manipulative.

Now to be fair lots of Mob Psycho characters are Like That. But there are some other things more specific to Dimple. Third, he tries to possess Ritsu, taking advantage of his fear of Mob. Fourth, again, the attempting-to-kill-Mob thing. Fifth, here's a bit from a recent side story:

My god. Dimple is terrifying in this. If you haven't read it, Uu is a little dog spirit that Reigen's been keeping around as a pet. Dimple notices that it's feeding on Reigen's energy so he gets rid of it. In these panels he waits until Reigen asks him where Uu is before telling him that he ate it. He has all these lines on his face and this expression of like hostile delight. There are creepy effects blobs behind him. He burps! He does a thing he knows will hurt Reigen and then rubs it in his face, acting like he takes pleasure in it. And finally from one of my favorite scenes in season 2:

I love love love this scene, when Mob is asked to exorcise the ghost family and he refuses. It takes the existing tropes in the story and introduces this like moral complexity and thoughtfulness, it communicates a change in stakes... "They won't have to exorcise you if the clients are dead." Again Dimple is smiling maliciously. He tries to manipulate ghost dad into attacking the college assholes, which is the one hand, for the purpose of getting him exorcised by Mob, which is the other hand. Harm in both directions. There is a third hand! We'll get to it.

But I want to summarize this section first: Dimple's default tool for dealing with adversity is manipulation. He, unlike, say, Reigen, is very comfortable looking like the bad guy, and to some extent he believes he is one. He wants to reach godhood by making people feel good, and he's going to do that not through bloodshed or by being a paragon of virtue but by using other people's flaws to control them.

The Living Spirit

Sorry, I want to do some more stuff before I get to the third hand.

I'd like to think I've been helpfully analytical up to this point, though probably not too novel. But I haven't seen anyone talk about this. Dimple is the liveliest dead guy in the comic, by a wide margin. He has multiple genuine relationships with people, he gets embarrassed, he gets happy, he fears things, he fully laughs. Sure in-canon this might be a proximity thing but in a narrative context I think it's significant that he's so much more of a character than other spirits. Here, in essentially his introduction as a significant character, he says, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a ghost!" There's also a great pun he makes in the Dark Horse translation when Reigen questions the existence of urban legend spirits--"Look, pal, just because you're a fake, don't disrespect the lived experience of the dead!" He thinks about living a lot.

Dimple comes back from apparent evaporation more than once, first when Mob exorcises him at the LOL meeting, second when Teru exorcises him in their first encounter. He really really wants to live.

Then there's the brief conversation between him and Reigen about the woman being stalked by what appears to be a spirit, but ends up being a neighbor astral-projecting himself. In this panel Dimple denies that spirits get horny. "It's not like we can do anything about it." He doesn't even think about like romantic love. So most importantly, canon aroace Dimple. But also Dimple believes that being a ghost reduces your existence. It's not even a possibility to do certain things, whether you want to or not. There's a tension here, Dimple craves life but knows that as-is he can't have it.

And then there's this six-page omake at the end of volume five. Please please read it if you can, it's not in the anime and it's such a good little story. When Dimple is almost exorcised by Teru, he only just manages to pull together an ant-sized form, and is rescued from being eaten by a pig ghost by a tiny human spirit called Stubble. The above image is an abandoned house in the woods, with Stubble, off-screen, monologuing, "I simply don't want to perish. I don't hold any grudge against this world. Neither do I have any dreams. Years have passed, without a clear goal." Stubble lives an extremely reduced existence, figuratively and literally. He rides around on the back of the ghost of flea, i.e., he is dependent on the echo of a thing that needs to latch onto something else to exist. He has no agency at all.

It's disconcerting, how Dimple starts at Stubble's size and slowly grows--or, reframed, Stubble slowly shrinks. Here Dimple accuses Stubble, "You died, even before your death. But I on the other hand..." Stubble gets angry. "You're dead too!" Again you should read the story, the way it concludes really blows me away.

Remember in the first episode of season three the S&S crew help the bald guy out of his funk, and at one point he says, "Am I doomed to just repeat these meaningless days until my death?" And then, soon after, "Wait, is my life already over?"

This is about the desperation of agency. Because like, Stubble is right. Dimple has been dead for a long time. His goal is ridiculous. His existence is scraps, yet he's clinging to them with everything he has. What's the point? Lay down alone among the insects, shrink and fade.

Dimple doesn't have a counterargument to Stubble. He doesn't justify "why." But the last sentence he says in the omake is, "I want to stay alive." Dimple, and by extension this omake, and if I may be so bold all of Mob Psycho 100, identifies agency with life. It's not even that life is about making choices, it's that life is literally the act of choosing. You have to choose to live. And Dimple does.

He likes control. He likes choice. He may not be alive but he chooses to live every day. Why? Because he has a purpose: he's going to become a god. And he's going to take Mob there with him.

The Third Hand

Are you good? You're like 1500 words in, feel free to take a break, drink some water.

Maybe you're starting to sense where this is heading. On the third hand, Dimple manipulates ghost dad to help Mob. He attempts to take away both of their autonomy in order to ease Mob's obvious distress. Let's talk about Dimple's evolving relationship with Mob.

I say this a third time, Dimple tries to kill Mob when they meet. Then, despite a positive spin on his initial pitch to Mob, he's pretty transparently evil about it.

These frames of the show are from that introduction, the first with Dimple surrounded in stars and bright colors saying "Let's shoot for the top of the world together," the second with Dimple thinking, face lit from below and body language full of menace, "I'll just wait for my chance to possess him." To be fair again, lots of Mob Psycho characters are Like That. Compare this to the first episode of season two: when Mob tells Dimple the story about Emi, Dimple, excited, assures him that they should keep sticking together so Dimple can help him out with these things. The animators even use the same image of Dimple with the stars and colors:

"Looks like you'll always need an advisor like me!" But this time he doesn't have the sinister turn he did when they first met. This is how Dimple keeps acting throughout season two. He helps Mob, apparently so that Mob trusts him so that in turn Mob can help him reach godhood. But he goes so far above and beyond without any malice: he keeps Banshomaru safe, he possesses one of the high school kids bullying Mob, he eats the curse off Reigen's back, he tries to defend Mob against fucking Toichiro.

Here's a great couple panels: after Dimple explains the deal with urban legends becoming real, he reiterates that he wants to be a god. Then Mob asks Dimple to "make sure [Banshomaru] won't get hurt," and little surprise lines come off Dimple. He agrees but says, "You gotta do me a favor sometime too." Dimple is a little struck by Mob's trust, but maybe more importantly this is the first time in a while, and I think the last time in season two, that Dimple suggests Mob do something for him. It only comes after he reiterates exactly what his purpose is. Dimple's priorities are a little unstable.

Yeah this is just a full comic page from the encounter with Mogami but it's meaningful as shit. Dimple has just suggested taking over Mob's body to protect it. The first panel is Dimple looking away and down, deflated, ashamed. A few sweat drops come down his face. He says, "but something like that..." And to his surprise (action lines, closeup, wide eyes) Mob agrees. Dimple puts on an evil affect when he responds: a horizontally squashed panel shows his backlit face. He smiles unpleasantly and laughs a little, "Kuku..." But his heart clearly isn't in it! His eyebrows are worried, not hostile. There's no pleasure in his smile. He's covered in sweatdrops, eyes wide. When Mob assures Reigen, "It'll be okay," there's another panel of Dimple where the remnants of that affect slide off him. The backlighting is still present but not as severe, the echo of that smile is on his cheek. He's openly worried and covered in sweatdrops. Mob's speech bubble covers a large portion of his face.

Points about this. First, by now Dimple has given up on possessing Mob. This thing that seemed like the main path to his goal is not an option. Second, while both Dimple and Reigen believe that this is a bad idea for Mob, Mob disagrees. Dimple identifies as evil. Reigen identifies him as evil. Mob no longer does. This is classic Shigeo Kageyama behavior, being generous to people even when no one including themselves thinks they deserve it. And the worst part for Dimple is he's starting to agree with Mob. When the option he'd dropped is handed to him on a silver platter, he finds he doesn't want to take advantage of this kid that way. He's a different person than he was.

I don't even know how relevant this is but. Look how much fucking fun Dimple has when he's possessing Mob to protect him. He's doing all these flips and kicks. His smile when he's fighting Mogami!Asagiri is so funny. He does the wildest mid-air combo I ever did see when he attacks the Claw guy as Mob.

Mob becomes such a top priority for Dimple that in the first episode of season three he realizes he forgot that he wanted to become a god. Not only that, but when he comes to Mob to convince him to lead the cult together he's immediately distracted by Mob and what's going on in his life. Mob has to prompt him for him to remember that he's there about the cult.

All this is why Mob's mistrust of Dimple in this conversation is so tragic. Dimple has helped Mob so much, and been so much of a genuine friend, because he knew that Mob trusted him. Where did it go? What happened? Mob's parting words to him are, "Why don't you give your schemes a rest already?" What schemes?? This is the first he's had in months. The translation in the comic, though, is so much more brutal:

"Why don't you stop doing bad things?"

Dimple is

Dimple is terrified of Mob. When Mob wonders if Dimple is scared of him, he's right, of course he is. He has lots of reasons. Mob almost evaporates Dimple when they first meet, threatens him multiple times. Dimple saw him at 100% rage, Mob's first on-screen. He watched Mob hit ???% without being knocked unconscious. This is all especially threatening given Dimple's drive to live. He's terrified when Ritsu tries to fight Mob, he's terrified when Mob asks him if he had anything to do with Ritsu's kidnapping, he's terrified when he thinks Reigen is about to tell Mob that they don't know what happened to his family. But I also read his fear as a symbol of how important Mob is. Dimple attached himself to Mob as the way to achieve his goal. Dimple helps Mob out in so many ways, putting off his goal, so that eventually they can fulfill his purpose together. Then he starts caring about this kid so much that he forgets his purpose! Of course Dimple fears Mob, because their relationship threatens what drives him to live. As much as Dimple is a manipulator, Mob is the one who ultimately has power over him.

Dimple so easily reverts to an evil persona once he leaves Mob because without Mob that's all he can be. If he can't get to the top with Mob, then he has to do it the old way, by using people's flaws to manipulate them. He's able use the broccoli to become a physical presence and get around the "amazing power" problem--though the broccoli's presence and power are still kinda Mob's! But why does he need to become a god at all? Because that's all he is. If he doesn't have Mob and he doesn't have his purpose, then he has nothing.

"Don't go casually denying the thing I've been wanting so badly!" Dimple gets so angry when Mob tells him he's being fake because first, Mob is denying Dimple's manipulative tendencies, which are really important to Dimple right here because he feels his identity is so precarious. And because second, Mob is denying Dimple's purpose. Dimple is in equal danger from Mob's physical attacks and Mob's denial of what he wants. What he wants, what he chooses, is what living is. Dimple doesn't want to die.

Here's a lot of a comic page again, from the final confrontation. Dimple tells Mob that he's just been using him the whole time they've known each other. Mob says, "I'm sad... Does that mean it's time to say goodbye to Dimple?" He steps towards Dimple, who screams in fear and anticipation. I think this is basically the worst thing ever, because god, Dimple is so afraid. Mob is justified in what he's doing but Dimple's desperation is what stands out to me, how hard he's tried to cling to agency and life and how sincerely he believes Mob is about to take it all away from him anyway, to disappear forever and ever.

And then Dimple insults Mob's shirt.

Dimple insults Mob's shirt

Fucking kills me. These are two frames from episode six, Dimple sees how much Mob suddenly trusts him and his reaction is anger, "You okay with leaving me like this?" His eyes are wide, brow down in anger. And then what he says next, "I'm... a dangerous evil spirit!" Here the anger is present but has softened with worry on his brow. The lines by his nose and his pouty lower lip make him look scared and sad. This fight has made it important to Dimple's identity that Mob try to stop him, because he's evil, and Mob stops evil spirits.

Panels from the comic where Mob tells Dimple, "You weren't doing bad things. You were just doing what you wanted to do. Together with me. You trusted me before I trusted you, Dimple. Thank you." Mob doesn't think Dimple is evil, but he identifies how important Dimple acting on his wants is, and he tells him that he still values their relationship. He denies that he has to hurt dimple but affirms his power to choose.

I maybe could've skipped a lot of BS if I put this page further up but I wanted this to get felt, what Dimple's admitting to himself here. It's another section of a page. Panel one, a white splotch in darkness with Dimple's thoughts, "It felt like my ambitions would fade away. Did spending time with unselfish Shigeo cause even me to lose sight of my goals?" Panel two, Dimple is the white splotch. He's scared. "...eh? Wait, that's a problem...!! I'll lose my reason for existing!" So Dimple tells Mob, angry, "No, not yet... I'm not done yet! Even now... I've still got... plenty of things I want to do! And ambitions!" Mob agrees, with that tired, frank look. "I'll hear you out for real. As your friend." Accepting Mob's friendship like this is terrifying, because it means what it always has, forgetting about this purpose. What if Mob stops trusting him again? If he really, consciously abandons his purpose, will he still have agency? He wanted a friend, always wanted a friend. Will it be enough? Will he disappear?

Dimple takes Mob's hand anyway. This was such an amazing shot, I've reproduced its animated glory here, Mob and Dimple reach towards each other, Mob weakly, so Dimple closes the gap and grabs him. The hand grasp of all time. I'm not gonna talk about how this fits into all the other Mob Psycho hand symbolism, that's another 4000-word megapost.

It's worth it. I'm convinced that by involving yourself in a network of people and creating some sense of obligation to others you can actually give yourself an even deeper kind of agency than you could achieve alone. And this is awful, terrifying. Because it involves giving yourself up a little bit. You have to give up some control. Dimple wants to be a god, to have ultimate power and control, so much of him is his manipulation, but he has to give that up for this. Goals that may have guided you for a long time can become irrelevant--and then who are you? If you've defined your life by something for years, and at the end of the decade you realize you don't fit your definition anymore, where do you go? Dimple tells Mob, "Let's go home." But...

Panels from the comic, where Dimple carries a sleeping Mob and thinks, "I said 'let's go home,' but I don't really have any place to 'go home' to... And I don't have anything to aim for from here... I wonder what I should do now." That Dimple is allowing himself to think this is really powerful. I don't think this has to be a sad moment. Like obviously Mob thinks that Dimple's home is his house. He just asked him to stay away until he reverts to his smaller form, as in, he otherwise would've expected Dimple to stay with him. I appreciate the larger point that now Dimple feels unmoored, and deciding on a new purpose is existential. But I think Mob also has a larger point that he believes he can help moor Dimple. I think allowing yourself to wonder where to go next is so important. Dimple is where Mob was a few months back when he decided he wanted to join the body improvement club! He has a future, even if he can't see it very well.

Or, um.

I keep fucking crying while I'm writing this. I love the translation in the comic here. Dimple kneels before a prone Mob and, finger touching his forehead, says, "Listen well... I'm giving you orders for the first and last time. First, wake up. Stand up, Shigeo." Mob is still for a moment and then says, "...it's no use. I can't put any strength into my legs. I can't move my arms either." Dimple is very serious now as he relays, "Your body may complain, but still... stand up. Even if you cannot stand... you must stand." God damn it, god fucking dammit.

Sometimes it's not so easy to change. Your actions have consequences. Your history follows you. Dimple's desperate attempt to keep his old wants comes back to kill his new ones.

Dimple's final act is the same thing he always does, he manipulates Mob to protect him. And it is good and kind. Suddenly his reason for existence is paradoxical: he's going to have to die to fulfill it. Who exists to die? But that's not what it is. Because he's making a choice. He denies death, he says, no, you can swallow me whole, you can annihilate me, but even then you can't take my agency away from me. And I will use this final choice to protect someone I love.

Dimple was a friend.

#mp100 s3 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mp100 dimple #tumblr labeled this as mature! idk why!! #there is nothing in here that would warrant it #look out for spoilers in the replies #this is 30 images and thousands of words i deserve all these tags #as a treat #ekubo #mp100 ekubo #dimple #analysis #meta #mp100 meta #shigeo kageyama #mp100 shigeo #mp100 mob #IDs in alts #and in the post itself depending on context

[stgosupremacy]

MY SATOGOU GOODBYE RANT.

so yeah i said i would do one so here i am. honestly dont know how long this will be so let's get stuck in lmao <33

I'm starting after the 'im glad i met you part', bc i kind of already did a post on that anyway lol (and just wanted to add, in the dub they changed it to 'I'm sure glad i met you,' and Ash says it so soft omg i literally died on the spot watching it ;-;

(headsup ignore the fact some of the images are off a youtube channel i couldn't find the scenes💀)

so i hope this is all in order, but this bit is so so SO sweet when Goh tells him 'thanks for reaching out for me' like no surprise i was literally crying at that point like sgdxkjnfsgf it's so sweet to me that without Ash none of his journey would have really happened, but tbf you could say the same for all of his companion tbh. either way, i am very glad goh met satoshi too omg <3 🥺

theennnnnn this part is Ash just offering some sweet words of advice and comfort, talking ab their dreams ect, like, nothing too bittersweet to see here, but i guess you can say the way he said 'WE' and meant both of them is sweet lmao

OK so on the palm of our hands thing i have a few things to say

first of all i love how Ash knew that he knew what to continue with bc they are just so in sync with each other ofc <3 and OFC they had to put that scene in for the last episode, like when it was in the Mewto episode for the first time, i was honestly screaming of how cute it was LIKE THE FACT ASH MADE THE LITTLE ADD ON OF 'OUR HANDS' IN THE FIRST TIME THEY DID IT JUST MAKES IT EVEN MORE CUTER EJHSKF

but anyways as much as i love this scene because of how 'the future is in the palm of our hands', can be interpreted in some otherways, 👀 I also couldnt help but thing about something else.

after/before the Project mew stuff actually started/finished (pretty sure it was after,) we see a scene of Goh, Gary and Horace using the 'palm of our hands' phrase together, and yeah its rlly cute lmao, but i was kind of hoping it was something unique for Ash and Goh, not trying to be a fusspot, but i think the scene now feels slightly less special to me now Goh used it with some other people?

I mean sure, ash and goh were still the first people who did it, and it IS their kind of thing lmao, like they created it. Even tho it was just an initial thought, it is still really sweet that goh used it with others don't get me wrong <3

when i was watching this i was like no way this is it lol like are you not gonna confess

jokes but thankfully they made a bittttt more to it (and good bc if they left it there I would be sitting there like what)

so they start to walk away from each other and you see Goh is still quite sad while Ash is still holding up, my heart was dying </3

STOP IT WHEN GOH STOPPED AND HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY AAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺

BUT OFC

OFC ASH HAS TO CALL OUT TO HIM AND THE WAY GOH'S EYES HAVE THE LITTLE SPARKLE WHEN HE HEARS HIS VOICE 💖 The fact Ash actually thought while he was walking away 'oh shit need to check up on the bf' lol and climbed up the little hill to wave him off again is the cutest thing; CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE this made their whole goodbye for me tbh 💕💕💕

SUPPORTIVE BROS FOR REAL <3

ofc they want each other to achieve their dreams aww

ok but THIS

the bit where they nod at each other is so comforting to me like it's weird, but it gave me a little more satisfaction i'll say, lmao. also gives you a hint that they are wrapping up the goodbyes fully so it gave me some very brief preparation time 😢

and with that, Goh runs off into the distance.

</3 (my boy has grown up sm) 🥺

OK i do love that when he runs off, he's more confident, and when it switches back to Ash, it has him watching over Goh until he can't see him anymore, which is rlly cute <333 ahhh they're so pure man

Ash runs off to his new journey too, and he begins to talk about Pallet Town to Pikachu...

Thats it

yeah

SOOOOO BASICALLY THIS IS MORE OF THE RANT SECTION:

uhmmm so first things first. Did i like the goodbye for them? Well, yeah, it was quite cute, especially the end part where Ash gives him that last bit of encouragement and called out his name, because SHEESH if they left that part out and gave them that first goodbye without Ash calling out to him, and they just left each other....yeah, i wouldn't be happy.

see, i just kind of thought they deserved a bit better. It was v cute and all, but like they've been through so much together 😭 😭 😭 😭 like I'm saying this as a shipper but still 😂 tbf if they hugged I probably would have cried but let's be honest I could cry at anything at this point

but hey what we got was pretty cute, I just would have tweaked some things because honesty this duo are literally the closest I've ever seen in the anime, and I would have hoped for a little bit more, BUT IT'S FINE IT HAPPENED *mentally counts*

9 MONTHS AGO (??? where has the time gone)

but thank you for coming to my TED talk <33

#pokemon anime #anipoke #ash ketchum #pokemon goh #firstfriendshipping #satogou #ash x goh #goh pokemon #i miss them #pokemon journeys #fatedencountershipping #pokemon #episode 136 #ash and goh goodbye

[bonesandthebees]

help, I am starting to lose myself in my glass ch28 brainrot note and I really want to finally put it together so I can shift into rose mode so im just gonna start putting my finished subsequents here

that being said dont expect any logical order whatsoever

1. wilbur vs the pythia + 2. others learning wilburs name

1. there was not a single slip into the pythia this is huge, didnt even get close to it and hes been so much more comfortable in his "wilbur", the progress just from before the palace is huge, like he told phil, it really did help him a lot to be able to move and and kill the pythia, leave it behind for good

and not just that, even his relationship with the title got better as a consequence of all this so when being called that while it did feel wrong it doesnt make him flinch, doesnt make him spiral or anything

its so satisfying to see it finally come to this, this is what the story has been going towards this whole time basically, or at least its the representation of wilbur finding himself which is the point of this story

2. I wonder if tommy felt a bit sad about wilbur telling his name to other people. bc it is losing a part of wilbur he only had for himself. and im sure that being happy for wilbur overweights it, but did he feel a sting of jealousy when he heard niki or tubbo use the name? I like to think he did, crimeboys unhealthy possesivity/dependence bond and all that. I like to think hes not perfect, even in his feelings about wilbur. feels fitting. and it shows that thoughts dont actually matter that much its how you act upon them/bc of them. nobody ever only thinks the right thing.

finally going to start working through your glass asks but don't expect any consistency with me answering these lol, I love hearing your thoughts though I promise!!

oh yeah I always knew from the start that I wanted the final chapter to be entirely 'wilbur' without slipping into 'the pythia' once. the pythia was left behind when the palace burned. wilbur is the one who survived. and now that he's finally accepted that he is a person, it's easier when he does get called the pythia because he knows that's not what he is anymore.

tommy was definitely a little bitter hearing others use wilbur's name. he's extremely possessive of wilbur's trust and liked being the only person who knew all these things about wilbur for the longest time. tommy's love for wilbur was never a proper healthy thing, and the dependency the two still have on each other is bound to cause problems in the future, but it works for them and tommy is able to put his jealousy aside for the time being because another part of him is still happy that wilbur has finally accepted his name and identity as his own

#ask #jiksvokrat #glass ch 28

[daisychains111]

live "tweet" books with me (via the goodreads progress bar) pt.2: Lore by Alexandra Bracken

idk who the narrator of the first part was, but I'm very confused...if he's not a god anymore is her love interest...or maybe her dad?

who is gil...how did he die?

her grandfather? wasn't gonna guess that

potential love interest spotted..hey masked dude

oooooo does she know him? intrigue

SEVEN YEARS HOLD SHIT THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD

potential love interest #2...van hello

I cannot stress enough how happy I am that her name isn't actually lore

wait nvm it is actually her name...that's stupid

Annabeth come get you mom, this is embarrassing

Percy come get your namesake ancestor...this is embarrassing

they are saying a lot of words that mean absolutely nothing to me?

happy to report that her name isn't actually lore...thank God...gods? whatever

"the Olympics but with murder" Nothing better happen to Miles bc I love him already

HAH poseidon and perseus reference

(I'm gonna spend this whole book talking about pjo just fyi)"

I get this feeling that apollo let Castor kill him

nooooo not the doggg

castor out here with the Olympians shittiest moments highlight reel to remind athena that he's cooler than her

oooo are miles and van gonna be a thing..that would be cute

athena deciding to keep miles around like he's a puppy is peak comedy

just because you're pointing out that the names are getting stupider doesn't mean you don't lose a point for continuing to name your characters stupid things

van and miles going on a secret special side quest together? mmmmhhmmm checks out

don't get me wrong I love a good enemy's to lovers but istg destiny if she gets with the guy who killed her family I will never forgive you

EW CREEPY PEDO GUY GET BACK CREEP

I am directly halfway done with this book, and there has yet to be one single ounce of romantic subplot...This is extremely disappointing"

WAIT IS GIL HERMES!!!

IS AEGIS THE NECKLACE

MILES HAS IT

I asked for romantic subplot but idk if this is what I wanted...however I'm a suckered for childhood best friends to lovers so we'll see"

"do that again when you mean it golden" period you tell her castor (I 1000% agree)

also him calling her golden is cute...even if I'm not sure why he does it"

hehe miles and van bonding time.. thats a romantic subplot I can get behind"

"oh so you're in love with him" YOU TELL HIM MILES

throwing away the necklace as if it's not extremely likely it's the thing you need...aces move lore, stop pouting and think

istg if you kill castor rn I'll never forgive you

IRO YOU MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU REALLY KILLED THAT BOY

 HES ALIVVVEEE

ATHENA YOU MOTHERFUCKER...I should've know better than to fucking trust you

MELORA I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST DO THAT

SHE WASNT EVEN LINKED ATHENA WHEN I FIND YOU

it doesn't make sense that she's had aegis the whole time and wasn't even thinking about it enough to hide it from readers...im sorry thats just lame"

this book lacks interesting romantic subplot but " I was born knowing how to do three things: how to breathe how to dream and how to love you" is the smoothest shit ever"

him calling her golden? cute...her calling him big guy? really fucking weird

istg don't pin with a couple separated by mortality, I can't handle that rn

HEHE lore calling van out for staring longingly at miles

lore and miles bestie vibes only

I get the sickening feeling castor will not be making it out of this book alive

holy shit she killed athena"

holy shot did athena just redeem herself

apollo let castor kill him CALLED IT

YAY FOR STAYING MORTAL AND STAYING WITH OUR FRIENDS!!!

This book wasn't bad but after the literally masterpiece that is the darkest minds series I expected more from miss bracken...the only reason I was able to read this as fast as I did was bc I had to finish it to read iron flame LOL

#lore #alexandra bracken #athena #melora perseus

[lautakwah]

omg jing yuan !! as soon as i met him i knew he was gonna be a fav of mine, and his deal with the finches just sold it. i really love his cn va. he was also really fun to play as for that little stint he was part of your party, i got the awakened dan heng card Right before that final battle which felt perfect and now they have this guy and im like i NEED him his mechanic lags my entire laptop. the xianzhou luofu has been very fun to get to know so far, i do love what dan heng/dan feng and jing yuan have going on, and i guess blade is part of that? i love edgy characters but ironically he's felt like the most boring of the cast so far... but that means i still have two of the quintet yet to meet i think! i cannot guess who theyd be right now. the timelines theyre working with are so funny to me like i guess dan hengs supposed to be 700 years old but also still a teenager? being eternally 17 sounds like some horrific curse. which im still not entirely sure of what he did but that seems undeserved. speaking of which reincarnating (?) and then ending up befriending someone who looks more than passingly like your old life's old friend (the trailblazer and jing yuan's visual similarities are a coincidence im sure but its funny to me) is such a neat concept i hope they touch on. + SEELE AND BRONYA!! they were an amazing part of that storyline i want them on my team so bad. I just got the missions to go back and see whats up with them so i'll have to check it out... when i first continued the story to get to the xianzhou seele was visiting and i thought the game would make her disappear after the warp but she was still there... i was like we've taken this kid 500 million light years away from her home planet we've committed a crime here. ANYWAY this is a mile long i hope u have a good weekend nd get rest o7

yeaaahhh jing yuan's va is so good!! i love playing on cn tbh the other dubs dont hit the same idk... i dont have him tho (f) and both times his banner was on i didnt have enough jade to pull for him 😭 first time bc i spent everything on seele, second time bc of sparkle KHFDKJGFDG literally my roster is almost all the girls (not you topaz. and silver wolf was bc i lost 50/50 💀) and barely any guys (i have dhil and luocha and dr ratio bc he was free... all the others i skipped and im gonna skip aventurine as well LOL) can u tell im a lesbian :'))

and i thought dan heng was like in his early 20s??? but none of it rly gets explained so KFDJKDG we do know viyadhara when they reincarnate become children again and then age up before they go through the whole egg-reincarnating thing again. but like in his prev life he was several decades old and looked the same anyway, yet blade/yingxing at the time was like. an old man (the only "mortal" among them 😭). and then baiheng and jingliu were around the same age as jing yuan? wait actually jingliu is older since she's his master but yeah. it IS interesting to see how their dynamic has shifted tho but you'll see (if you havent gotten to that part yet in any case, i think if you finished the tingyun/emanator of destruction part you should've already known abt most of this due to companion quests!)

also YEAH KDFJHKJFDGD it's so funny that characters from different planets can visit the astral express even when they're not on/near their home planet like oh... i guess we kinda abducted you, lol. although, hey, look at it like this: you can show them entire fields of grass or something which they don't have on their home world...! (and obvi you can just take them back to their home world in a snap 😌)

also my weekend was great!! went to a film festival and talked to friends and had a good time overall fdkjghfkjdg idk if i already said this but saw zhu yilong on screen twice (!!) and also met the director of the movie he was in it was super fun <3 def needed that lol

#answered #hsr anon #<- ur tag hehe

[tolerateit]

ME8 BESTIEEE

First, merry Christmas eve eve!

Second, I got this gel nail kit because I wanted to try doing my own nails for the first time, because they're handy since they don't chip as easily as regular polish with everyday tasks. I also didn't want to ask my sister to keep doing mine (she does her own every few weeks) when she has a busy life of her own, and paying someone and then waiting for them to do their job while I sit in silence and stare for about 3 hours is really not my thing, I've tried it a couple of times before and even though I'm just sitting there, it's exhausting. I don't even feel comfortable enough to be on my phone. So I was thinking of getting everything I need to do them myself but the process looked a bit complicated for a noob like me, who's most complex nail design has been those water marble nail designs of yore lmao. Not to mention everything I needed to get, with like the different layers and the lamp and whatnot felt like too much clutter for my taste, especially since I'm planning on moving soon. And last week, as I was ordering a birthday gift for a relative, I opened the beauty section of this website I was searching, and saw this tiny gel nail set, which blew my mind! Everything I need is like the size of my hand?! The lamp is like super tiny and you gotta do the nails one by one but that's perfect for someone like me?! It arrived today, and I'm now in the middle of doing my nails (jk I just finished my thumb and still have 9 to go), and I just had to brag at how awesome and easy this thing is! I feel like this whole ask sounds like an elaborate product placement so I won't be mentioning the brand unless someone wants to know more lol I just had to share because I'm so excited to have pink glittery nails (it's the color I got, there were very few options left in stock, a red, regular and glitter pink, and black, with the lamp in the same color, so this was the prettiest one imo) and I'm gonna go out and buy more colors and a top coat next week to have more color options!

mk

PINK GLITTERY NAILS FOR THE WIN im so here products that actually try to make things easier for us!! I bet your nails look amazing and sparkly and cute!!! 💖 💕 ❤️

#you ask for the tab* #MK #Your ask made me go back and watch a simplynailogical video LMAO

[noco7]

What do you think of All Stars and how the writers handled the characters?

Now, I don’t know how much of a hot-take this is, but I don’t find All Stars that uniquely bad, at least for Total Drama. Unjust eliminations and lost potential? I’m a Noah stan who had to watch I See London, and then see Blaineley take his place. Villain that nobody votes out despite the obvious? I’ve watched Heather dodge elimination after elimination in Island and World Tour alike. Random evil mental disorder? That’s just Trent in Action, baby. All Stars is more of the same bad writing, just cranked up a little higher and all at once. But it’s still the same bad writing. Tho, I may be a little biased here. Not because I like All Stars, I don’t - but I knew how bad it was before I watched it. I had seen the rants about every major plot point before I watched a single episode. So I never had hopes for the thing. Perhaps that explains my detachment during viewing. And I'm gonna be honest - I *don’t* have strong feelings on most gen 1 characters, so it’s hard for me to work up the passion about their character derailment. 

But if you still want my specific thoughts on each character:

Courtney: As one of the few gen 1 characters I do care about, I should probably be more mad about Suddy Muddy Sundae then I actually am. But uhhh. I actually like it when Courtney is evil and mean, lol. So the idea of her betraying a close friend? That’s funky, that’s cool - in isolation, that is. In the context of the show, it doesn’t really work. There’s no foreshadowing to the twist, there’s no gradual darkening of her character. It’s just “And Now Courtney does something Evil.” Great. My condolences to anyone who watched this show blind and thought they were getting a character development arc. Probably felt like a slap in the face. But out of context, the idea isn’t that bad. 

It's like that Game of Thrones thing, with Daenarys going evil. Could it believably happen? Sure. But should it have happened so fast? NO.

Gwen: ... Ehh. I think this season was trying to redeem her from WT. That's why she's trying so hard to apologize, that’s why Gwuncan breaks up. And that’s why Gwen says "he wasn't your boyfriend.” I don’t think she was trying to lie, but that the writers wanted us to genuinely believe that, retcon style. But overall, she was fine. A little weird, because WHY is she trying so hard to makeup to Courtney, the girl she was barely friends with? WHY would she ever go back to Total Drama, the show that she hates being on, just for the girl that wasn’t even that good to her in the first place? That’s weird. But “character derailment,” is a lot easier to swallow when it makes the character a nicer person, isn’t it? Also the joke in the beginning where she's the only villain character trying to be sincere and help the team is pretty funny.

Aleheather: I’m grouping them together because they’re very similar people. Evil, conniving villain that no-one really trusts because they’ve seen it all before. They do both get more stupid in AS (why would Heather just leave the victory idol? and why does Alejandro not like... do more with the Mal plotline). But they’re still funny in their own rights. But as a ship, they were disappointing. I think that's because the writers did not know what to do with them after they got together. Which tbf, isn't just a TD problem. A lot of stories end when the characters get together. The romantic plotline is fulfilled. So what are you supposed to do in the sequel, when the Will-They/Won't-They is done? What now? TD's answer was just to pretend that their romantic arc WASN’T finished. So now they're back to hate-flirting, in the exact same way they did in WT. I think a person who cared more about Aleheather (@tdsierra) would probably have a lot more to say about the ship in All Stars, that might even contradict what I say here. But this is all I have to say on them.

Duncan: I don't hate him in AS. I think the whole "no one can know im a nice person," although exaggerated in AS, is true to Duncan as a character. He always had a masculinity so fragile a tap-dancing ant could break it. So whatever, I guess. Probably didn’t help that the girlfriends who used to boost his ego - Courtney and Gwen, left him behind. Tbh, he might be the best written character on All Stars. His ending of blowing up Chris’s house and going to jail does feel odd though. It’s such a sad end to his character. In TDI he was growing to open up, but in AS he’s so defensive that he ends up in jail. I don’t think it’s a bad ending persay, that he regressed. But it’s definitely sad to see. Also the bird he was friends with was ridiculously cute. I love that bird.

Sierra: Gonna be honest, although she is very different in AS - (in a like, psychosis way, when she never had them before) I don't know if I'd call it "character derailment," that she’s still obssessed with Cody and still a creep. Because honestly, I don’t think she ever stopped being one. We’ve never seen her acknowledge her actions as wrong, nor has she apologized/promised to do better. Even in the episode in WT where she accepts being Cody's best friend, she also tries to kiss him again. Perhaps this is the true hot take - Sierra never underwent character development in the first place. I also don't understand why she's on the Hero's team. Was it *heroic* when she stole Cody's underwear? Was it? Did the writers just put her there so as to even the numbers? Or did they buy into the idea that Sierra is a good person, despite being a stalker, because stalkers act out of “love,” and she always just wanted to “protect him.” And therefore, she’s a hero. But perhaps it’s just that she’s not a standard villain. All TD villains are in it for the money and have master-ish plans, while Sierra... does not. I guess that’s close enough to being a hero for AS team designations. Anyway, Sierra should have been cut from AS all together. Nothing here adds to her character, she didn’t belong on the heroes team. [However, if they put her on the villains team and she had to grapple with the idea that her actions were evil and terrible and learn from that... honestly could have been a baller redemption arc.]

Lindsay: Whatever. She was there for one episode, what do you want me to say? Lol. I guess I could say that I don't think she was "character derailed" (she has voted for herself before, and has been bad at voting, so I don’t think it’s OOC for her to vote for herself. 

SECOND GEN

Sam - I agree he should have been replaced with Brick. He doesn’t have anything to do this season. It is touching that he wants to be a mutant to be with his mutant gf though.

Jo - they did her such a disservice im crying thats my girl!!!! like she was such a cool character who had obvious development that needed to happen, and then they just chose not to. It's so weird. Especially when Cameron is on the show, and there's already a history between them. They could work smth out! Or not, but still. And if Brick was indeed on the show - that's another avenue for development! I love Jo, and she was still funny on AS but... they should have taken the chance to flesh her out. But they didn’t.

Honestly, the 2nd gen characters deserved more focus. And I'm not talking about Mike and Zoey, but Lightning and Jo. 1st gen had 3 whole seasons already to flex, but 2nd gen had only one shortened season. As such, maybe focusing on them would have been better.

Lightning: Man also deserved better. He was very funny though. But still.

Scott: This one's weird, because AS Scott is funny, but he is also a completely different person from ROTI Scott. I don't know what I would change about AS Scott, other than make him more like ROTI Scott. Also maybe he and Cameron could have teamed up to expose Mal, considering Scott also has experience with Mike's Alters.

Cameron: why did they make you so stupid. and why was he not able to expose Mal earlier? why? i did like the scene where he used Scott as bait for Fang tho. That was really funny. And I always wished Cameron had ended up as the Villain of ROTI, so it was gratifying.

Mike - ugh. Using his DID as his only plot point was bad enough in ROTI, but to also use it as the main plot of AS? Really guys. Read the room. Also, they were wrong about alters, and as multiple people have said, Mal should have been more of a protective alter, rather than just evil for the sake of it. But I think Mike was always a kind of boring character because his main/fronting alter is Mike. And Mike's just a boring guy. I feel like TDI was trying to do the activist thing where "people with X can still be good people!" and so you get the blandest characters. Think of the Love, Simon movie. "im such a normal guy EXCEPT im gay." that's the vibe with Mike. "im a normal guy EXCEPT i have DID." to prove that people with DID can be "normal." But it stops the character from being interesting, and also... is *normal* the thing we need to be aiming for? There's a lot of interesting discourse around that, but that's not important for this post, lol.

Zoey - she's Zoey. She wasn't a great character to start with and she's not a great character now. And she's also very stupid - Mal has that effect on people. It's hard to have strong feelings on a character you never cared about in the first place.

Overall I'd say that TD had a bad vision of making their most "evil" villain yet, and what makes a villain frightening is how much power they have over their victims... but the victims were all capable people who had won survival shows and were known for being smart and/or athletic. And instead of taking that into account and writing the villain better, they just... forced all the victims to be stupider. 

I think they should have written All Stars as a “wrap up loose character development season,” instead of coming up with a mega villain plot. Because total drama fans are in it for the Characters more than anything else. So just focus on growing them, and people would have been happy.

#total drama #tdas #total drama all stars #td askbox #total drama writers know the ending of their show #and thats good #but they don't know how to get there #and thats bad #they make square holes but their characters are circles #or perhaps TD writers are like mad scientist farmers #they have crops they want to grow #into some bizzare shape #like they want a carrot that looks like a watermelon #but instead of planting a watermelon #they just douse it in 50 different fertilizers and pesticides #and hope it works out #because god forbid they let a character grow organically

[agustdiv1ne]

i dont wanna reblog on this acc for reasons, but i just finished telepathy (got off track so many times im sorry) and its literally the best thing i have ever read in my entire life. like istg there were a few moments when i laughed out loud (taehyuns "thats nepotism" caught me so off guard i giggled) (there was another moment at the beginning i don't remember the line) and i genuinely laughed when he first found out what she listens too 😭 i think this fic is the most relatable to me, tbh, bc like if you saw me in the street, i look like an innocent chubby girl, not someone who writes hybrid smut about people on the internet 💀 like im totally the type to get off to someone i saw randomly somewhere (ive done it before)

AND THE SCENE WITH HIM JACKING OFF>??????? like i was reading with a straight face until the fUCKING BUTTON UP???? LIKE ITS THE LITTLE DETAILS THAT COUNT ISTG (mental reminder for when i write later)

i already knew what was gonna happen as soon as i read pseudo-fingering in the warnings last night, but reading it was a whole fucking other story, i swear to fucking god. i've become kind of immune to reading smut in my experienced age (😭), so it's rare for me to find a fic that gives, like, ALL the tingles (iykyk)

and this one gave so much more than that- like if i was home alone right now, this would be jackoff material, i am not kidding you. like the pretty girl thing was already a little sjkhbdehdfb to me, and then just the whole "dont make it obvious" was so sjkdhbshjdi

AND THEN THE FUCKING SCENE???? LIKE IM SORRY I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT AT ALL and like, im sorry gyu but if this ever happened to me i would not be able to stay quiet at all. like legitimately i'd be crying.

i was just WAITING for that ending if im being honest, like i LIVE for stuff like this where its so nonchalant at the beginning like "are you alright? 🥺" and i was just waiting for her to recognize his voice ACK and then the "pretty girl" GOT ME LIKE IF THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND IT WAS SOMEONE SO FUCKING ATTRACTIVE ID FAINT

here's my actual reaction to that last line (the middle is cut off because i had my hand over my mouth going "oh my god oh my god") (and dw im okay that squeak was a laugh)

ADA I LOVE U.

mannn what if i cry. then what. genuinely that is such an honor :'))) no bc same, like u would never guess what i do on this hellsite j from what i look like LMAO

SCREECHES i loveee adding little details to my scenes (it's also why my fics are becoming obscenely long,, sorry everyone, idk what happened to the 7-8k projection,,,,), idk why but writing that had my heaving trying to hold myself together...yeah

pseudo-fingering LOL i truly still don't know how else to describe it...my guy was mind fucking her fr,,, can't believe i actually broke ur immunity for a hot second that's so funny to me

HGKDJL i was projecting heavily in this one i'm ngl 🤣🤣 like exhibitionism is kinda,,, yeah. Yeah. i also dream abt being called pretty girl one day 🤣 manifesting it rn actually

HAHAHA no bc same, i wouldn't be able to keep it together i'd writhing and crying and disintegrating LMFAO,, mc was so strong ngl i wish i could be like her.........but alas, i am Weak

UR REACTION I'M FUCKING DYINGGG,, but that was what i was going for so i'm glad it worked 😁 THANK U FOR READING!!! AND SENDING ME AMAZING FEEDBACK ILY ADA PLS TAKE CARE OF URSELF <3333333

#ada ⭐ #moots! #banggyu0308 asks #asks #🪐 — feedback #agust.nsfw

[esmorothfallen]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST.

name: color!!

pronouns: she/her

preference of communication: if you have it and you're comfortable adding me, i much prefer talking on discord!! tumblr ims are kind of clunky and hard to deal with imo.

name of muse: simon laurent!

rp experience / how long: i have about twelve years of roleplay experience. i started on roblox when i was around eight, and gradually worked my way up from there. as for tumblr roleplay experience specifically, i don't remember, but probably 5+ years.

best experience: the period when the infinity train rpc was active was my best period for tumblr roleplay, i think. it was a small rpc, but that also made it more chill, and i really enjoyed it. i miss my infinity train rpc mutuals a lot, but i know how it goes. switching to other fandoms, getting too busy, getting burned out on tumblr roleplay. all of that happened to me too.

rp pet peeves / deal breakers: pretty much just what's listed in my rules for deal breakers. for pet peeves, i am a bit of a stickler for grammar, lol. not that big of a deal in the long run, though.

fluff, angst, or smut: okay well first of all i don't do smut at all. i'm majorly uncomfortable with nsfw content in general. with that out of the way though!! my best genre is definitely angst. it doesn't have to be pure angst, mind you. but tooth-rotting fluff is very hard to write for me. albeit i am currently writing a muse that's hard to do that with anyway, so y'know. kind of comes with the territory!! i will do slice of life threads, i've gotten better at those than i used to be, but there's always gonna be some level of angst involved even if it's not the main focus.

plot or memes: i'm down for either, actually! i'm not the best at coming up with ideas, admittedly, so i do struggle a bit with plotting sometimes. but i'm trying!! and i've been doing a little better at it than i was, to the point that i'd actually like to do a little plotting with all of my roleplay partners if we can. at least enough that i have a concrete idea of what kinds of interactions you're interested in. memes as first interactions are fine too, though! just so long as you're comfy with me deciding based on my own discretion what verse to use and other things like that.

long or short replies: on your end or mine? lol. i'll always write at least a paragraph (unless i'm specifically posting a one-line starter), but most times my minimum is 3-4. that said, sometimes i go crazy and write much more, from 11-20 paragraphs. so i'm kind of all over the place there. as for your end, i don't mind how long your reply or starter is, as long as you give me enough to work with! i'm not a stickler for matching length. i also don't force myself to match length exactly if i can't think of anything else to add. i'll never give you a drastically shorter reply, but i won't stress over it if it's a paragraph or two short of yours.

best time to write: ridiculously late o'clock, for some darn reason!!! my writing motivation is ALWAYS the highest right before i go to bed and it drives me absolutely crazy because i don't have time to get anything done. but if i don't finish it and try to go back to it the next day, my motivation is much lower, and i end up staring at it for so long that i start overthinking it and want to rewrite the whole thing. head in hands. i'm such a coherent roleplayer.

are you like your muse: LOL i hope not!!! not this one, anyway. i used to write noelle holiday from deltarune, and i think that's the closest i've ever gotten to really seeing myself in a muse. there's a lot about noelle that i relate to. but simon? no, not really. i just have a thing for complex villains with tragic backstories.

tagged by: @countlessrealities! thank you for the tag! tagging: @dreamsofalife, @cauterisen, @rathalascendant, @rxtroskull! and anyone else who wants to do it.

#ooc | mun related #ooc | dash memes #// this was fun to fill out!! not sure when you tagged me lol i've been on my personal for a bit so sorry if it was delayed

[arlecchno]

oh good lord , h i hope you know what youve gotten yourself into by asking for the fic … [insert evil laughter here] okay okay now actually , the fic series doesnt focus on serial killers it was just that one fic in the series , but the serial killer fic is Blind Mirror (linked) by StrangeDiamond on Ao3 !!!! i have the print copies of the series (behold my collection) i think i also have to mention that its not an xreader fic lol

songs of resistance isnt part of the series but yaknow whatever . the ragnvindr brothers are a passion of mine and theyre my favorites i love them so much SHIDJSKDKD AND WHILE WERE ON THE TOPIC OF FIC RECS if you just so happen to have my horrid taste in men (/hj ?????) and like alhaitham , heres another one of my absolute favorite fics , i just call it Summers Fic (i hope these links are working properly lmao) and its got our favorites !!! murder / crimes , slowburn , (kinda) enemies to lovers (i fucking love the banter the author writes between mc and haitham) , + forensics stuff !! which is totally my jam because im a stupid little science gremlin .

you saying my board looks cool is so funny to me because like its a literal stock image , and while i couldve gone without it , low quality stock images just make me giggle for no reason so .. its also a little surprising you think its detailed because when i was making it i felt like i had to condense so much information for textbox space😭😭

i actually do a handful of things in the arts department , ive written my own little short stories and poems , and every once in a blue moon (when i have enough motivation) i make games ! granted theyre not very good , because im pretty sure im jackshit at characterization LOL heres a silly authors note i put in one of my short story docs just cuz why not honestly

also , YES I AM A DAIN LOVER IM ACTUALLY HIS BOYFRIEND (REAL) /j . all the khaenriah boys in general are my little sillies (i say as if they arent older than me) SO IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT DAIN WITH MY MESSAGES ARE OPEN (and i am more than willing to spout theorist nonsense about him and the other khaenriahn boys as well)

also you absolutely do not have to worry about your wording of anything , none of it came off negatively at all ! i think youre very nice lmao

heres a little question to end off because im running out of creative ways to signoff , do you kin anyone from genshin ?

hoping the images dont glitch out ,

- jellyfish

OHHH WAIT i think i've heard of that kaeya and diluc novel thingy??? i'm pretty sure i've seen them around twitter or tiktok some time ago and omg i should check them out then!!! those covers look so good maybe i'll actually get around with the whole series now that you've mentioned it

and omg that summers fic you just linked is already so amazing. you've captured my taste in genshin men perfectly (i say as i drool over alhaitham). i just finished with the first chapter and the author have really captured my heart with the bits of forensics and crime, adding on with the tinge of arab culture too!!! i'm gonna go ahead and read them when i have the time hehe

you do short stories... poems... AND GAMES???? hello am i seeing this right

(p/s: i low-key do those kinds of a/n in my google docs draft for ma too... but they just never made it to the finalized version 😔)

and actually dain is in bed with me rn idk what you're talking about 🙄🙄🙄 /j

me personally i am very interested in khaenriah lore but i really haven't gotten to it (tbh the overall lore of the game is a lot to take in) but i probably will someday,, if i am not lazy /hj

and honestly... i don't exactly know who i kin in genshin tbh. so i have decided to take this VERY extensive genshin kin quiz (as per what they've named their site) and surprisingly i got... collei?

though when i read this, it made me realize that, maybe i do kin her. whoops

okay i'm heading to bed now it's 1 am and i'm busy tomorrow 😔 it was nice talking with you again jellyfish !!! have a nice day 🫶

#h answers #okay that quiz took me longer to do than expected #i was... baffled to say the least #how did this quiz capture my character quickly #jellyfish <3

[calumsash]

2022 Writing Evaluation

thank you for my amazing friend taylor @jbhmalumm for tagging me in this!!! i totally forgot i wrote (even if it's been like half a year yikes) and can actually be tagged in those things so im excited <333

1. number of stories posted on ao3: a whole 3 fics!

2. word count posted for this year: 17,741 words!!

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos

4. pairings: romantic: cashton (2) & mashlum (1) / platonic: malum (1) & cake (1)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: all three of these categories go to three that's the magic number <3

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): im proud of all of them! just the fact that i actually sat down this year and wrote something AND posted it?!!?!!!! i think that's something to be proud of!

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): i love all my kids!

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: ok so there's this comment @ghost-of-you left on my mashlum fic that just said "I don't think I've ever laughed this much at a fic before. This awesome." and i remember smiling and thinking about that comment all day so thank you anna <3

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: idk a lot of times i found myself really frustrated that i couldn't just sit down and write 5k in a sitting, or i was feeling i wasn't getting the tone right and then tried to compare myself to others? but once i let that go, stopped looking at other fics and just setting myself smaller goals i think made the difference!!

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the ending scene of malum in the daylight fic!!!! when i started to write that scene i totally planned for it to go in a different direction, a much more funny way (michael finding out calum is a vampire because he found him drinking blood smoothies lol), but as i was writing it the words just flew into a more angsty approach and i liked it so!!! it stayed <3

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: i still think the delivery of “I need to know, who came first? The chicken or the egg?" and the response after it was incredible on my part <3

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? actually finishing a fic and posting it!

13. how do you hope to grow next year? honestly just hoping to set little goals and maybe write some more, maybe try other fandoms and see how i do!

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? just gonna go ahead and tag my wonderful friends @myfalsedevotion @jbhmalumm @lukemichaelcalumashton @daydadahlias @merry-the-cookie @calumthoodshands because you guys hyped me up when i started writing and when i sent you screenshots as i progressed and gave me encouraging words!!!! i probably wouldn't have had the guts to post without you <3

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? oh yeah i totally thought capybaras were called chupacabras SORRY AJSHDHSJ (from the halloween fic)

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? literally just write for yourself! i can't even count the amount of times i reread my own fics because it's exactly to my taste!!

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? there's a song fic i wrote for cashton that is mostly done that i do wish to finish at some point!!!! also coach calum fic would be amazing if i ever finish it so hopefully that!!!! plus not 5sos but i have this idea for a buddie (911) fic that haven't left my mind since i thought of it and im hoping maybe start and finish before they come back from the hiatus!!!

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: probably everyone have been tagged already so if you haven't already and wanna do it, count this as your sign <3

#what a year! #i think it's cool i tried neww things this year and actually posted something #it's been long since i touched a doc but maybe..... maybe..... we'll see #ok time for sleep 🫶 #maya talks

[dreamwritesimagines]

before reading this chapter i was fully resolved to do a less detailed commentary on it to focus on school (i'm writing my essay on reason and passion in pride & prejudice and tbh this fanfic may have had something to do with it-) but honestly so many things happened and i could not help myself because PROPOSAL!! god it WAS time elias got his shit together and i'm so glad he did right in time!! i would kill to see the actual conversation between him and hugh btw (mostly whether or not hugh got to punch him finally) and also the duke's reaction to it all- but ANYWAY, on to the chapter

“Well anyone who cares about that is a fool and seeing that I’m quite smart, no I do not,” you stated, and she let out a breath, then pulled you into a hug again, making you giggle. once again friendship goals but also i'd like to add that cherie is very much a fool herself just in different ways- also wtf that was one VERY VERY lucky card game??

“You should marry my rake of a son even if you deserve better?” cecily being the most iconic friend ever as always

“Oh I didn’t know we had a guest,” he smiled as you waved at him. “Have you come to further our courtship, Lady Y/N?” hugh im literally in love with you- marry me at your earliest convenience pls we don't need anthony anymore

“I think considering everything, I will accept.” CECILY NO!! i will not stand for this bs

“I must hasten a plan,” you called out and stepped out of the room. “I will be damned before I let either of you marry anyone you’re not in love with—Lucie! We’re leaving!” im gaining more and more respect for lucie and her ability to deal with cherie's bs at any given moment in time 😭😭

You got momentarily distracted and awwed at the baby playing with his toys right beside Daphne, and Eloise tilted her head, staring at you. i love cherie once again giving off major adhd vibes with her momentarily forgetting her goal of murdering her brother as soon as she saw the baby

“I asked him before I made his list, he said it was just a rumor.” oh elias is gonna get murdered TWICE. stupid stupid man

You were so angry and in a hurry that you couldn’t even let yourself be distracted by Anthony, instead you went straight to Elias. lol not getting distracted by anthony but a baby is fine- alright cherie i can see you got your priorities straight

“Why did you not tell me you were in love with Miss Cecily?” Elias’s jaw dropped and he turned to you. “You tattled on me?” love violet being their mother figure even in things as childish as this bc i, too, would tattle on my siblings if they were pulling bs like this

“Well, I—” he stammered. “Anthony said—” “No, you’re not dragging me into this.” Anthony cut him off before he could even finish his sentence and you pursed your lips, glaring at Elias. anthony bestie you DESERVE to be dragged into this it was partly your fault also im once again imagining this exact scene with mr darcy and mr bingley explaining why tf he suddenly seemed to have lost interest in jane

“May she rest in peace.” Anthony pulled his brows together. “Lady Miriam is not dead Eloise.” “Might as well be, socially speaking.” let the girl speak anthony!! she's right!!

“I will ask her to marry me today, I will go to her house—wait, what if Trenlove is there?” “It’s his house and you have to talk to him first anyway.” Anthony reminded him and you frowned. “No he doesn’t, he needs to talk to Cecily first.” honestly these two are just the two halves of my brain going back and forth because yeah it's probably better to speak to her brother first but also CECILY- the romanticism of it all!! also i love elias rightfully being scared of hugh

“You should elope!” honestly i had two initial reactions and they were both yes and no and i'm still not sure which one was right

“You know, you seem to have a lot of audacity and too many opinions about this situation considering this whole mess is completely your fault—” yknow what cherie is right and anthony should get bullied for it more by his family. i mean cecily almost married mr randolph because of him ugh 🙄🙄

“I can’t believe the ton thinks you two are courting,” Colin’s voice stopped your bickering, making you both turn to him. “Lady Whistledown must be blind.” colin darling i love you but you're literally the only blind person around

“My dear sister Cecily, the kindest and nicest lady in the ton.” when i tell you that i laughed out loud- at like 12 am too might i add 😭😭 this fic is driving me crazy but like in a good way that has me laughing to myself in complete darkness on my bed-

“Young man? Trenlove is my age in case it has escaped your notice, Y/N.” once again this has no right being this hilarious and also this is definitely a comedy instead of a romance fic

“I’m not doing that.” Anthony scoffed and you pulled your brows together, blinking up at him. Anthony’s gaze stopped on you for a moment, a fond light crossing his eyes and he heaved a sigh as if he couldn’t believe himself, then motioned at Elias. lol cherie is just making sure anthony isn't about to ruin her plans AGAIN also i can definitely just see him doing this like all of the entire interaction the bridgerton writing team should hire you

“Alright, I think we should first talk about the marriage settlement—” i want to say his impression is better than cherie's but i can't even do that he's actually the worst 😭😭 also if he's been imagining his conversation with elias that way i'm sure he's in for a rude awakening-

“And why would he try to be romantic with her brother, exactly?” Anthony asked you, making you huff out. i'm on cherie's side here but he DOES have a point- the fact that i and pretty much anyone would take any chance to be romantic with our dear hugh doesn't mean elias should considering he's in love already

Elias nodded with an excited smile on his face. “I think I will get down on one knee, do you think she would like that?” actual golden retriever i'm telling you

“You’re not getting down on one knee Elias, why on earth would you—” he was cut off when you reacted almost automatically, reaching up to cover his lips with your hand without even thinking about it while keeping your gaze on Elias. honestly should have been like that for the entire conversation if he'd listened to like any of anthony's advice he probably would have failed i very much hope anthony won't be like this when proposing to a certain someone

“Flowers are a good idea, I’d love to get you a book on love poems but we cannot lose any more time in case Cecily changes her mind, and yes you should get down on one knee,” you said and stole a look at Anthony who was just watching you with his brows raised, so you instantly dropped your hand. cherie bestie he was merely contemplating which flowers and love poems you would like best for YOUR proposal

“I’m going to marry the love of my life,” Elias breathed out and swallowed thickly before snapping his fingers at you and Anthony. “You two are coming with me.” i love elias he really just is mr bingley and it's incredibly cute!! also tbh i'm sure if he invited all the bridgertons to come with they all would have-

Anthony rolled his eyes. “He’s not going to do that, Eli.” well you don't know that for SURE anthony- and i bet that he wouldn't mind the opportunity to duel hugh himself after seeing cherie spend so much time around him

“Well I have to admit,” he said. “This is going to be a score for you, not me.” is this just their default subject of conversation or something-

“Well you helped,” you said. “Even if you did sort of sabotage my carefully prepared plans and had that tragically ill-considered idea of him keeping his proposal straight and to the point without getting down on one knee, I don’t think he would have done it without your support. Back at dinner and today even.” i love how she's still complaining about that even when complimenting him (as she should!!) and also once again their brotherly affections are the cutest

“We’re all invited for tea,” Elias said as he pulled Anthony into a hug, then clapped him on the back. “Thank you. For everything.” well you should be thanking your SISTER but also this is cute and the tea!! i am begging you i want to know how the tea went bc hugh and elias and anthony and cherie being in the same room should be hilarious

“No I do,” she cut you off. “You are the reason that all of this is happening, and without your support, I wouldn’t have known… I wouldn’t have known what real love is. This is the happiest I've ever been, so thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I’m very lucky to have the privilege of calling you my best friend.” okay but this is the actual cutest 🥺🥺 they really are the best friendship goals i know i also said that about anthony and elias but this!! this is amazing and i love them

“Do you wish to hear my ideas about your wedding gown?” you asked her. “I’ve been planning it ever since that dinner party, I think you will like them.” lol if they existed back then this is the exact moment cherie would've gotten out a whole binder and several pinterest boards to show her the entire wedding she's been planning in her head- probably even more so than her own

okay this was the absolute greatest and i do not regret spending too much time on this instead of precious essay writing time bc it was all worth it!! they are ENGAGED!! it feels so surreal after the struggles but i could not be more glad- only a bit of fear that the conclusion of this angst may make way for cherie/anthony angst and i am NOT ready- either way i can't wait for next chapter!! i hope you have the most wonderful day <33

Omg Merel loveeeee! ❤

Wait I would love to read that essay, it sounds very interesting! ❤

Cherie is definitely a fool on some things, like for sure 😂

Cecily has a zero tolerance to bs policy when it comes to Anthony 😂

hugh im literally in love with you- marry me at your earliest convenience pls we don't need anthony anymore HELP I’M DYING AT THIS😂

Cherie is so lucky to have Lucie in her life 😂

Oh she gets distracted so so easily 😂 It will come up in the story a lot 😂😏

She is a great mother figure to all of them!❤

Anthony totally deserved to be dragged into it and Cherie had no problem whatsoever with dragging him right into the middle of it 😂

honestly i had two initial reactions and they were both yes and no and i'm still not sure which one was right Elias had no idea who was right either 😁😏

Cherie adores Cecily, like she so adores her ❤

OMG YOU’RE SO SWEEEEET! ❤❤❤

i want to say his impression is better than cherie's but i can't even do that he's actually the worst 😭😭 also if he's been imagining his conversation with elias that way i'm sure he's in for a rude awakening- Lollll I mean it was more rational than Cherie’s that’s for sure 😂 But if/when that conversation happens with Elias…Things will get very complicated 😏

actual golden retriever i'm telling you HE IS! HE REALLY IS! ❤❤

i very much hope anthony won't be like this when proposing to a certain someone Merel honey, remember this for the following chapters 😈😏

cherie bestie he was merely contemplating which flowers and love poems you would like best for YOUR proposal Ooooh my God 😂

Anthony will get very jealous of Hugh for sure….😏

A HC with that tea time is coming soon! ❤

Chérie basically planned their whole wedding 😂 Like, she will spend hours telling Cecily about it😂

Honeeeeey you’re absolutely amazing, thank you so much for this! I LOVE IT! ❤❤❤

[casual-flower]

aww thanks!! yeah im sure it'll be great. i'm super excited for college actually!

HAHA i guess we all think alike like that 😂😂

YES YES HAND APPRECIATION!!!! 💕

ikr!!! its so much fun. ooooh i'd love to see that!! i'm sure it would look amazing~! (yup its corrupting my whole body and mind, really)

sure! i have like a bunch that i wrote down yesterday.

...okay now im looking at my notes and realizing i did less of "plot ideas" and more of "here's my philosophical take on this song and which character(s) i should write for it"... oops lol

but still

like, Not Today by TØP. that would parallel a scenario in Saeyoung's route, because it talks a lot about how like... okay i mean just look at these lyrics:

I don't know why I just feel I'm better off / Stayin' in the same room I was born in / I look outside and see a whole world better off / Without me in it tryin' to transform it

You are out of my mind, oh / You aren't seein' my side, oh / You waste all this time tryin' to get to me / But you are out of my mind / Yeah

Listen, I know / This one's a contradiction because of how happy it sounds / But the lyrics are so down / It's okay though / Because it represents, wait, better yet it is / Who I feel I am right now

...

I'm, I'm out of my mind, oh / I'm not seein' things right, oh / I waste all this time tryin' to run from you / But I'm, I'm out of my mind

Heard you say, "Not today" / Tore the curtains down, windows open, now make a sound / Heard your voice, "There's no choice" / Tore the curtains down, windows open, now make a noise

anywayyyzz... i dont have a specific scene in mind, but i know i can do like an introspective thing with this

(if u have any ideas about this feel free to share hehe ^^)

[417]

Ahhhh sorry it took me so long to get back to this, Four!! I had it in my drafts and forgot to finish it 😭😭

Omg that's great!! What are the parts you're most excited for? :D

Yeah it does seem to be that way lmaooo, and there can never be too much hand appreciation dksksksk

Thank you!! 😭 Its gonna be tricky to draw much, I found myself in a point where I'm gonna be very busy for a long time I think 💀💀 I'm gonna post as often as I can tho :p

OMG I get u tho I do the same thing djajsjejne it's like a analysis parallel moment, I love doing those eeeeee

707 route spoilers ig? mysme spoilers in general idk lol //

WAIT I've never heard this song before, the lyrics u sent fit so PERFECTLY?????? 😳😳😳 Like with the whole thing abt 7 avoiding MC, her chasing after him, the curtains down and window lines kind of reflecting saeran breaking into the apartment THERES SO MUCH EEEEEEEEEEEE that's such a good choice for a song!! :O

#ask #four!! :D #✨

[bmpmp3]

i often, with very little seriousness, say that i prefer to read shoujo, josei, and the occasional seinen manga over anything from shounen magazines because even if they take a turn in quality, at least they will End within my lifetime HFKJSDHKDSHFD and this really is a joke: mostly as a way to combat the last 15 years of shounen elitists coming at me for liking things published in different magazines while also, in a slightly self deprecating way, pointing out how a lot of series in other magazine demographics usually either end at a natural stopping point or get canned unceremoniously with no conclusion (although shounen magazines are no stranger to the latter either LOL the nature of magazine publishing........) compared to just going on for hundreds of chapters after the quality took a nosedive

but make no mistake, despite how a lot (and i mean a LOT) of shoujosei is cancelled early before it can really start to get bad (or it gets trapped in an eternal hiatus because of magazine changes, or it just ends normally LOL), there are still plenty of series that went on way too long or struggled because of their length. some are worse than others: i remember Special A being solid but with a serious plateauing problem in like the latter half where it felt stagnant and boring (albeit not egregious or anger inducing or anything). but then theres other stuff like. hkjfdajhkgrlfjd. Peach Girl my beloved and beloathed <3 HHRJKFJRFEd and dont even talk to me about Vampire Knight or Black Bird. don't even say those words to me

and of course getting cancelled early can also give a series a great opportunity to fumble the bag horrendously in 3 chapters or less: one of my favourite shoujo manga of all time, Penguin Revolution, has an absolutely hilarious last chapter in that you can feel how much the author was like "SHIT FUCK I NEED TO WRAP THINGS UP RIGHT NOW" so hard that i cant even be mad about it LOL

and with that as a preamble: last night i finished reading A Devil and Her Love Song/Akuma to Love Song and well. um.,

quick TW: because of the topics that the manga touches on, I am going to talk a little bit about sexual assault, specifically sexual assault of a minor, and suicide. i will do it somewhat frankly because i want to take it seriously and not beat around the bush and i will do my best, but feel free to let me know if im off-base

SO the first half of the series is really solid, specifically with the characters. Maria in the beginning, especially with the bullying arc, was really engaging as someone so (intentionally or otherwise) neurodivergently coded. and The Boys: Shin and Yusuke were also really strong - moreso on Yusuke's end as like, a foil to Maria's complete inability to mask, Yusuke is like the king of masking. but even Shin, despite everything that comes later (and we'll get to that. by god we will get to that) was also interesting as like a foil in a different direction: a person resigned to his loneliness compared to Maria's drive to connect despite her struggles. And despite how sidelined the girls get, in theory I really loved Ayu and Tomoyo's connection to Maria and the whole squad as well (can't help but love a mean girl redeemed and a shy but secret goth kid respectively)

the series starts to take a turn for the worse after the new school bullying storyline and into the beginning of the Anna Situation. im gonna refer to this Anna, the friend of Maria's from her old catholic school who lost her voice as Anna (friend). it seems clunky but we'll come back to that LOL

i actually didn't hate the whole situation, i found Anna pretty compelling in her anger and resentment and even cruelty, and i was invested in seeing how her relationship with Maria would pan out. unfortunately she herself was basically forgotten about after she moves away to america and instead a lot of the situation was spent focusing on Shin's turmoil which was where his character started to. test me.

this is where Maria's backstory with her mother comes in: maria was born from the rape of her 14 year old mother, who then committed suicide with a preschooler Maria in her arms because of the turmoil and the way she and Maria were treated in the aftermath. this is. an absolutely unreal turn. really fucking dark and tough topic, but i had an inkling of hope! the series was handling its first like, 30 chapters with a surprising amount of care despite some clumsiness...

and the thing is i love a lot of stories that attempt to handle dark topics in loud, fumbling ways as long as theres a sense of compassion and honesty in it you know? and compassion and honest really is the thing, i actually prefer a messy but earnest story about dark and sad events compared to something that knows all the correct words to say while still dancing around serious topics (this is a problem i run into often in recent years. i think its a selfconciousness in storytelling that makes me feel like im being talked down to you know?)

but there is a difference between fumbling a bit an dropping the ball entirely. and MAN that ball was dropped HARD when you bring in the american soldier kidnapper and rapist of the main character's middleschool aged mother and try to turn him into some "redeemed" priest goofy crybaby dad character for the main character to forgive and reconnect with. but we'll get to that, i need to get back to shin

Shin learns from Anna (friend) about Maria's past and how Maria had forgotten it all because of the trauma, but may remember when she's held by others. not wanting to retraumatize her, and believing not remembering her past is what's best for her, he starts distancing himself from her. he also tells the other boys, the blonde bitches (Yusuke and Kurosu (we'll get to him later i prommy)) that have a crush on Maria as well about this, essentially deciding for Maria that she should never learn her past and attempting to control her relationships with other boys behind her back. THIS is intensely possessive and paternalistic WHICH in a vacuum COULD BE a really interesting, dark, but prescient and complex major character flaw to explore (especially in a story written for young women and girls like a manga serialized in Margaret would be). unfortunately the story never grapples with it, its framed like your classic possessive-but-like-in-a-sexy-fantasy-way despite being written in an incredibly embarassing and pathetic manner

like dear GOD i wanted nothing more than him to get some sense knocked into him by the blonde bitches. i LOVE a good character arc where a shojo manga love interest with possessive tendencies learns to respect his gf's autonomy its a classic!! especially with Maria's past, learning that helping someone with trauma means being there for her, not controlling her life behind her back! so much potential there

but alas. all we got was Shin hiding in the shadows from Maria for several volumes until, during an argument where Maria remembers her past and has a panic attack, he attempts to force himself on her and gets his hand hurt in the process. and. god. this is a shojo manga trope i Do Not Care For, honestly it is one of the few things that'll sour me complete on something:

the plotline where through a series of very bizarre circumstances the main love interest will sexually assault (or attempt to) the main character and then get really mopey about it (ouuhhhh im the baad guy how could i do thisssss i feel so sorrrrrrry for myself) and then the narrative will bend over backwards to say that UMMM ACTUALLY its okay the main character wasn't upset about that! it was something else! she didn't think it was rape!! she's cool with it!!! don't feel bad love interest guy!!! LITERALLY i hate it so much. the next several volumes spends so much time on Shin trying to make him feel better about his hand injury and how everything he did was okay because Maria loves him and it was PAINFUL so so frustrating

which brings me to the other guys, the blond bitches. Yusuke is mvp we know this, especially in the early volumes. but after he realized maria's in love with Shin no matter what and he has no chance, he also becomes frustrating because all his edges get sanded off, he's still a wonderful friend to Maria (although he unfortunately drinks Shin's koolaid and also hides her past from her) but he completely stops pushing Shin to be better which makes both characters worse. he was so interesting as the king of masking, such a relatable character type but MAN things went downhill

earlier in the series before Shin tries to push himself on Maria and I was still a bit sympathetic to him, i was thinking like damn. Maria should just get with Shin because she likes him but also setup a polycule where the two blonde bitches can orbit around and keep shin in check LOL

and kurosu. im going back to kurosu finally. a third anime boy has hit the love triangle. hes contentious for very valid reasons but the thing is. i kinda liked him? OKAY okay he has serious SERIOUS personal space issues which were played a little too much for laughs and we'll get to his relationship with Maria's father in a moment but i couldnt help but relate to a big dumb seemingly outgoing but still distant kid who talks too much about horny shit. Yusuke is just like me fr but. also. Kurosu is just like me (idiot highschooler edition) frrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorry i do see a bit of myself in him. hell i even see a bit of myself (dumb possessive middleschooler edition) in the earlier versions of Shin (before you know. he went off the rails), and i think thats whats so frustrating: these characters start with ideas that are ALMOST relatable and intriguing character flaws and then it just descends into madness

and back on kurosu's relationship with Maria's biological father, it is pretty fucked that he hides the fact that he knows Maria is the daughter of the child his adoptive father figure raped for so long, and its especially fucked he brought Maria to the church where maria's bio dad is now a priest taking care of orphans as like a way to "reunite" them and show that "he's changed" and such, but this is really a problem less with the characters and more with the way the story's themes are coalescing in general. The character of Kurosu himself was quite interesting as like a foil to the foils of maria and yusuke, simultaneously really good at masking while also not being good at ALL. and I loved that he got on Shin's case to stop being so possessive and weird about maria. And not to be all "he's literally neurodivergent and a minor" but i can't get all that mad at a 15 year old who (as revealed really quickly in a random chapter near the end) who had to leave his abusive father and scared abused mother under really traumatic circumstances and then suddenly was taken in by a seemingly kind priest trying so hard to defend said priest. i think theres something very compelling and emotionally resonant there: grappling with the the fact that someone you love, someone who treats you with such kindness, someone who you think saved you even, could have been so cruel to your other loved ones.

i know i have a bajillion experiences like that (much smaller scale things like finding out a person who was nice to u is bullying others, or more serious things. im sure im not the only one who's got crazy shit happening with cousins and aunties and uncles and such). like it changes things: you can't just sit idle about it, but you also don't have the authority to confront anyone, you can't go back to the way things were before and there's an irreparable distance between you, but you don't know how to move forward other than letting that distance grow. I think theres something here!!! but unfortunately, the series as a whole was largely uninterested with anything other than turning the main character's mother's rapist into a doting father type character out of nowhere, treating the aforementioned rape as if it was just a little "mistake"

when i read or watch something and i have a very strong reaction to it, good or bad, i often like to look at reviews afterwards. a lot of people seem to think theres no reason to look at reviews if you already have your own opinion, but i personally find them really helpful to get new perspectives and sometimes find catharsis with others with similar perspectives to mind. and so i was looking at some fan reviews and this review's first line killed me

THEYRE NOT WRONG the full sentence is "This story really reminds me of Usagi Drop, just for the way that the ending butchers my enjoyment fo the entire series" which is VERY true, but also its very true more specifically n the sense of WHY on gods green earth is this series trying to frame the rape of a young teenager as a romantic thing (albeit in akuma to love song's case the circumstances are less grooming and more violence, which just makes it bizarre in a different way). but this person's review is great, it just puts the problems with the series in such a succinct way: it swiftly turns from a decent little drama about teenagers learning to grapple with communication into Rape Apologia: The Manga.

all in all i think the big problem with akuma to love song is how much the story is just uninterested in the topics it brings up. its not a matter of taking on tough subject matter and handling it in a slightly clumsy way, its a matter of taking on tough subject matter and then trying to tie it all up in a neat little black and white bow. the series best part of the series, which is kind of seen in the section where all the kids go to the beach together, is when the characters try to learn to communicate and be honest with eachother despite their difficulties. but that was forgotten and thrown away for some very bizarrely cruel melodrama, brushing aside one of the biggest victims: Anna (mother), the girl who was assaulted and the abandoned by all her loved ones in the process. a teenage girl alone with just a toddler. a character the series had no interest in, not her life or thoughts or agency. really depressing

also yeah maria's teenage mother has the same name (and looks???) as one of her former best friends. and you know. thats what got me kind of thinking. with how much Anna (friend) was like completely forgotten about. i honestly wonder how the writing for this series went. this is why ive been so frustrated after all, its highs are so good but its lows are so so SO disastrous. it appears to have been in a biweekly version of Margaret, im unsure if it was published in every issue though. if it was, maybe rushing to get out something every two weeks was in part to blame for how downhill the writing got? i dont think manga should be published more than once a month at most, i think its unethical working conditions for the sake of a worse product and its bad for everyone involved.

and i know its not really considered standard in art and media criticism to focus so much on the working conditions and mindset the author was in while creating. looking at art as itself divorced from its circumstances and death of the author (as in the actual essay meaning like the author is not god and the intended interpretation is no more or less important than the audiences) and so on and so forth. but i can't help it ive always been like this LOL if something bad i wonder how the creator felt creating it....

but anyway. now. one thing i will give the series: they did not randomly pair off the remaining ensemble cast at the end. one thing about shoujo manga, especially from the 2000s is that if there are an equal number of boys and girls, they will be unceremoniously split into couples by the end regardless of how compatible they are HJKDLDHFJKD i was so scared when i realized there were three boys and maria had two gal pals. i was so scared. but we were spared from that at least orz

i do want you to know something though. despite all my criticism, the thing about this all: i love garbage. i love trash. i will read like anything even if its bad as long as i think i can get SOMETHING out of it. even if that something is just "wow that was bad". do you remember the aforementioned Black Bird? what did i get out of that? i dunno, probably just something absolutely crazy to read in a public library as a 17 year old LOL. i love garbage melodramatic soap opera bullshit so much

but i think what frustrated me so much about akuma to love song, as mentioned before, is that it was like. genuinely really good! in some parts! its the potential that is killing me i think. its one thing to read some big dumb and questionable melodrama knowing what youre getting into in the first few chapters, and its another thing to start out written with such emotional intelligence only to take a complete and utter nosedive so dramatically

is this how shounen manga readers feel all the time. dear god.

but well. i guess i still got something out of 90 chapters of this. a really strong start. some good art. and a what-not-to-do manual for the latter half

#impromptu reviews with bmpmp3 #im ignoring an assignment again. why write a 200 word mini essay for class #when i can write a 2000+ word blog post about a manga that pissed me off instead <3

[bright-and-burning]

unhinged ask time:

a/b/o opinions on the Ferrari, McLaren, and Williams garages

just poured a second mason jar let's get this bread. i am here to SPEAK MY TRUTH!!! (and also with the caveat that i am the most easily convinced person on the planet when it comes to the Dyanmics [here referring to both a/b/o dynamics and also in general how mfs be interpersonally relating] so like. my opinion will be different as soon as 11:30pm EST and Definitely by whenever i finish the next a/b/o fic i read. very recency bias influenced). also click clacking on my laptop drunk occasionally pausing to sip on my wine is SO FUN i feel very uhhh typewriter-using drunken noir writer i just need a cigarette and like. a femme fatale

carlos - i mean . alpha is the go to right? (i have no idea actually) omega carlos would be FUCKING INSANE tho actually my god those eyes... a crime. alpha but more than a little down bad (sub alpha carlos would be . BONKERS actually tho)

charles - well we all know the go to here. and i dont disagree lol. assigned pretty boy by internet. can i be honest here for a sec. i do fuck with a good bitching fic (MORE ON THIS LATER) (there's a batman fic w this premise that makes me more insane than you could even fathom. well actually two. im realizing i read a truly absurd amount of porn) so like in theory alpha charles... also i kind of think beta charles would be kind of hilarious in a . u r so omega coded and yet... kind of way. sluttin it up anyways

lando - I SUBSCRIBE TO ANYTHING FOR THIS MAN!! small freak alpha? yeah alright. big-handed sharp-edged omega? yeah i got u. altho the whole obsessed-w-being-smaller thing is Soooo chewy w/in the context of being an alpha ykwim.... i do think he is too freak-coded (or what did that person on tiktok say. "h*rny") to be a beta.

oscar - my guy is also malleable. i lean towards alpha i Think? although i am being influenced by thinking ahead to my logan answer lol. he's just very in control but in a way that is fundamentally a little sharkish to my brain. but also like i have distinct memories of some truly bonkers omega oscar fics... im still gonna say alpha i think. beta feels like both a cop out and like im calling him boring. and i dont think he's like. blank is the wrong word. perfectly stationary all the way down... i think he's got this mildly hidden Hunger that doesn't lend itself to beta designations... altho idk a Hungry beta would be kinda . something to consider...

logan - alright my brain was fundamentally reset by . hold on im gonna find this on ao3 bc it was truly life changing. i'll come when you call me a little bitch. (alpha logan who is a big fan of getting dicked down by alphas) except in the process of searching for this . i discovered that of my five bookmarks tagged w both logan and a/b/o. there are 2 alpha logan fics. 2 omega logan fics. one false-front-of-beta-truly-omega logan fic. and i love them all dearly. technically this should be a 3-2 vote for omega but like. i think logan can be spun in many different directions !!! also lowkey beta logan feeling like he's constantly on the outside of whatever the fuck is brewing... kind of chewy in an emotional conflict sense. anyways final vote very tentative sub alpha logan.

alex - alpha i think . world's most disdainful and unclockable omega? but probably alpha. sorry i ran out of steam i don't have an essay for him. i really really really enjoy alex in alpha4alpha fics tho

#ask #i... am not tagging this w the drivers. lol. #does this satisfy? do u disagree anon #pls lmk some of these i was truly Pondering On

[2tahstatepark]

That last new years post was depressing as hell so I'm gonna at least talk about some positives.

1) I found out I was trans.. at first I just assumed I was nonbinary but I quickly realized that I wanted to change that, as everything masculine about myself just puts me in a state of despair, so I've been fluctuating with that.

2) along with that, I've finally started therapy, and got diagnosed with a whole steaming heap of disorders so that's like.. something I hadn't realized lol, I've been bad about actually going to therapy because of financial situations and such but I'm hoping it can be better coming into the new year,

3) I've gained three rats!!! There the cutest things even though they constantly try to escape, they are so sweet and are finally getting around to cuddling with me. They've really helped with my general sanity and I love them so much.

4)I saw my family and learned a lot of history and I even had a bug get stuck in my ear! Having to go to the ER on multiple occasions haha

6) this year, I really really tried to improve on myself, it took me way too long to realize my mistakes, and recognize how toxic and terrible of a person I really was. I kept falling into terrible habits and I would always know what I had done, but never truly work on what was wrong and improve, and only feel bad for my actions, I feel as this year has been the year Ive truly become a better person, im not entirely proud of myself, but I think I've really changed as a person, and I'm working on becoming happy in the person I've become.

For anyone I've hurt, for anyone who I've never had the chance, or my pride or immature behavior prevented an apology I'm Sorry, I hope life treats you well, and that your happy where you are. To the friends I don't keep in touch often, know I love you and I hope the world treats you with kindness.

I'm hoping the new year goes even better, I can start HRT, finally forgive myself for shit. Maybe even try and finish learning Spanish, or maybe it'll be just like every year and I'll just be happy that I've lived. I hope you all have an amazing new year (even though it's late) and an amazing rest of your lives.

#emory personal #new year #new years