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#i dont care if you think im overthinking this
jrueships · 4 months
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getting told my professional emails are like fun bedtime stories that get reread & reread& reread by the people i send them to bcs they're always apparently very long(😦😦😦😦), humorous(?!?!??), charming(??), & never have a sequel bcs i do not respond after sending one 😦
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moving-to-dreamwinged · 4 months
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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol
#.mei chats#soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain#i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent#i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them#and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself#but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back#trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do#Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms#or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect#in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now#i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all#so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do#god this got long. sawry#.not f/o related
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salsa-di-pomodoro · 1 year
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I think even if Emmet and Ingo somehow ended up hating one another they would still give the other a kidney if they were to need it
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squishe · 8 days
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its. saddening seeing how ambivalent everyone around me is to the fact that im back on t actually
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tortademaracuya · 10 months
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puppygirlkat · 10 months
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Looking into aromanticism and queerplatonic relationships is a lot like idk im just vibing here kinda carefree, who needs a label for what i do anyway
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astrxealis · 1 year
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sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#unfortunately i doubt i will ever get therapy bcs i have this. thing. idk. but i believe in myself to just rely on myself?#and yeah i uhh can go on more about that BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS sorry i suck at explaining things. anyways#humans. interesting. i am fascinated by humans and myself and i'm tired of typing now GOODBYE anyways xiv music is so fucking good#and also idk how to interact w others sorry ..... i am scared of getting close to people bcs everyone i've grown close to has ended up#leaving me or i mess up! but tbh it's better now i think and also not as bad as i think but sorry i still have bad issues with. that#me saying i don't want to type anymore and then proceed to rapidly type out so many words oopsies#pls just do not PERCEIVE ME !! unless you want to ig but idk why you'd want to do that uhm#yk i like tumblr most out of all social medias bcs it feels like i can... sort of just be my weird self here! and it's not fully nice#and i still have anxiety problems and overthinking problems and whatnot which is evident by my 100+ notifs i havent checked since#christmas but that's not the point (?) idk whats the point honestly uhhhh nvm (??)#OH I LOVE FF SO MUCH tbh it's w/o a doubt still my favorite series ever but drake/nier is also up there for sure#which i think is amazing bcs i have yet to finish a game. and ive only like played idk 5 hours of replicant and automata#and then ive already spoiled myself on important aspects of all games but that helps ngl uh. i could explain but im tired of typing#ANYWAYS GOD actually noehgjbsejhbghjes i really suck w interacting w others i really wish i were better at all that#im not super introverted or shy im just kinda awkward and anxious but im a fun person and all and idk#and tbh its interesting thinking abt my personality... some parts of me havnt changed at all from a bit (/pos) like my lively. aspect of my#personality !! i was a bundle of energy and a little annoying (perhaps unintentionally but now i think its a bit more on purpose lol)#but the only person who really sees my true self is me. and the closest to that is lune. but even i dont know who i really am#and yeah... wnvr im like woa ill make more friends !! and then when i have the opportunities i suddenly dont care anymore IT SUCKS#anyways i think i have Opportunities now again so lets see haha ?? at least uhh in school. its like 2nd sem and i dont rlly have friends#as usual haha that sounds so sad help BUT its not like im disliked im just rlly quiet and shy at school..... throwback to 7th grade tho#that was rlly the worst but also now is just as bad in a diff sense but back then i cldnt talk w my crush at ALL i didnt speak at all im so#sorry about that HELPPP I RLLY JUST CLDNT SPEAK anyways moving on in my class rn i do have a group of sorts. like#we're grpmates wnvr theres grpworks and we can pick which is nice! ive been classmates w em all b4 and theyre the cool kids#but in the more fandom sense and one used to be a close friend of my twin and of mine too by extent and then the other was someone#who knew me when i was more extroverted so yeah uhhh anyways#OKAY ALMOST MAX TAGS im DONE rambling. bye. hopefully. bye. oh god
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knucklehe4d · 1 year
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realizing a lot of the friendships i felt insecure about i always perceived them thinking i was weird and everything i said was a wrong dialogue option but i dont feel that way with like. other people or my bf so i dont think its cringe of me to just dip if anything if you dont feel comfortable with people youve known for years maybe thats a sign things are not great
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arykaddictedtosoda · 2 years
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Tryingggggg to be open with the guy and he's so nice but I'm still afraid lmao
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jrueships · 1 year
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sometimes i think about the ask i got about making a tier of players who are alpha beta or omega
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ilyhaitanii · 22 days
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allow me ft. wriothesley
sfw. there's so much going on in your life that sometimes you just want wriothesley to do the thinking for you
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there's an odd anxiety brewing in your stomach as you sit across from wriothesley. the air in the room feels stuffy, your clothes just don't feel right, your body gets flashes of hot and cold. something just is not right. wriothesley immediately picks up on it the moment he sees your strained smile when you walk through the door.
he tilts his head slightly, watching the way you dust his bookshelf, reorganizing all the books by author. he notices the slight drag of your feet when you walk, the slouching of your shoulders, the furrow of your brows. he takes another sip of his tea. he's probably overthinking it.
however, he can't help but look up at you again. you inhale deeply, a sigh draining your energy. wriothesley's voice echos in the dark room, scaring you out of your daydreams. you look over your shoulder at him, eyes big and wide.
"come here," he says gently, a soft smile appears on his lips. you place one foot in front of the other, walking towards his desk. you stand in front of his desk, forcing a smile.
"what's wrong?" you ask him, peering over the edge. you look around his table. his mug is full, the tea is still hot, there's still biscuts on his plate, his work is neatly stacked. what could be the issue?
"i should be asking you that. what's going on with you?" he stands up from his desk, circling around the table before taking you into his arms. you let out a shaky breath in his hold. you look up at him with these big, glossy eyes and wriothesley can't help but kiss your cheeks.
"im so tired, wrio." you mumble against the fur of his coat. he hums casually, placing his chin on top of your head. gently, he rocks your body side to side as his large hands rub up and down your back and rubbing circles with his thumbs against your waist and hips. you hold back a wave of tears, trying not to cry. but you can't help it. something about wriothesley makes you so weak.
maybe it's his tall stature, the natural dominance he has, or maybe it's his gentle hands that rub and cup your body perfectly? there's so many things about him that just make your brain turn to mush when he speaks to you. his teasing words, demeanor, voice, everything about him just makes your eyes go blank.
the ever observant man wriothesley is, he is very much aware of this. he feels how you go slack in his arms whenever he holds you, or how your ears and cheeks heat up whenever he whispers something to you. he also watches the way your eyes twinkle up at him whenever he orders others around.
"i know, baby. i know." he scoops you into his arms, legs under your knees as he presses you against his chest, "come, rest for a little bit, okay?" by that wriothesley means: allow him to take care of you and don't bother using that pretty little head of yours. he can do it all for you while your body recharges, dont worry.
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© ilyhaitanii - please do not repost, translate, or plagarize any of my content, and do not repost it to any other platforms
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agi-ppangx · 4 months
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“what was your first impression of me when you saw me for the first time?” you asked faintly and minho abruptly raised his head to look at you. he tilted his head to the side. “why are you asking?” he responded, confusion clearly seen on his face. “just answer me,” you urged him and he gulped loudly. “i... i don’t know, i can’t really remember,” he mumbled, lowering his head again. you scoffed at his words, pouting and he sighed at that. “why do you want to know anyway?” you looked at him with teary eyes and shook your head. “forget it,” you whispered, wiping your eyes. “no, honey, please. what’s going on?” minho ran to you, sitting next to you on the couch and bringing you to his chest. he rocked you gently from side to side, rubbing soothing circles on your back as you cried silently. minho was dumbfounded - he knew about your insecurities and he was always there when you needed him, but he just assumed you were dealing with them just fine. “i don’t really look friendly, do i? i look like a bitch,” you mumbled into his t-shirt, not daring to look up at him. he placed a gentle kiss on your temple and hummed, trying not to giggle because of your directness. “but you are friendly, you don’t have to look a certain way to prove a point,” he said softly, as if he was talking to a scared child. you whined at his words, straightening up and looking him in the eyes, your vision blurry. “but i don’t want people to think i’m rude. i’m nice and kind and-” “exactly. then why do you care so much about the way your look?” minho interrupted you and it confused you, though after a while you exhaled loudly and nodded. “yeah, you’re right. i’m just overthinking it...” you said, laying on his chest again. you closed your eyes, inhaling deeply. minho wrapped his arms around you once again, creating a much needed safe space for you. your insecurities hadn’t evaporated in an instant, but minho’s words and support helped you to get through this episode of self doubt and you were forever grateful that there was at least one person who loved your not-so-friendly-looking face.
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this is very self indulgent bc i have a resting bitch face and because of that people think im rude and dont want to talk to me so bear with me yall ive been overthinking it for the whole day
taglist !
@lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01 @hannahhbahng @prettymiye0n @ggsez31 @laylasbunbunny @like-a-diamondinthesky @axel-skz @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @l3visbby
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borzoilover69 · 2 months
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Jake Writing Guide : 2024 Colourised!
Ok well, this isn't the prime year 2014 but I really wanted to make a concise and easy to consume guide for how to write Jake accurately since he can be quite the fussy tosspot if you dont know where to start. [ WARNING ITS A BIT LONG I INCLUDE JAKE DIALOGUE TO HELP WITH UNDERSTANDING WHAT IM SAYING. ] First off: drop the commas, and the apostrophes. He uses largely run-on sentences and has a sort of rambly sense of words. He does however use "these" every now and then and just as it strikes him tends to *Drag out the ole roleplayisms.* when it suits the situation.
Jake doesn't really tend to use old-timey slang but he does have rather antiquated ways of speaking, with a pension for more articulated language. He only REALLY breaks out the old timey words when particularly impressed or exasperated for emphasis. Usually, these words are british slang.
Note how he goes on a ramble that is slightly self-centred. He also spins stories similiar to how Dirk does, but without the ice-cold deal. Tossing in his own spin with his own words.
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This one is just really fucking funny.
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When hes particularly exasperated he leans into it MORE. Just really spreads it on thick. Like if he continues to say funny words you'll forget everything else and be distracted by his whimsy.
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Jake is FAR more socially aware than people give him credit for but prefers to avoid tricky subjects hes not too comfortable with until he feels suitably ready for it, prefers battles he knows he can win so to speak. He also tends to think hes overthinking it and backtrack into ignorance. He overcomplicates things same as dirk does but rather than doing Dirks "yup thats a me problem. Im going to quietly stress about it now!", jake brushes it under the rug and tries not to think about it like a college student trying not to think about their outstanding academic paper and the promise of "Yeah, I'll do it later" (doesn't)
Note his more genuine understanding of why Dirk functions the way he does, well aware of the pros AND cons of having something like a combat machine hunting him.
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His awareness of Janes crush and reluctance to deal with it:
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Subsequent backtracking and denial of said premonitions, brushing it under the rug. Again, stating his reluctance to get into it because it's a situation he's not wellversed. Jake doesn't like being put into unpredictable situations, he prefers the easy road that won't inconvenience him much.
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Also his desire to be seen as seemingly perfect and not have to dwell on others intents. Now this is something I don't see touched on as MUCH on writing guides for Jake English (then again the majority were made in 2014 so who can blame them.) But when Jake touches on what he views as MORE TABOO feelings aka ones which compromise the go-getter Adventurer image that arent BRAVE and GUSTO and GUNS, such as weakness, hesitation, he tends to pose back to the asking party as a question and reconsider his thought process. Like: Do YOU think its ok for me to feel this way? Why do you think that? Could you imagine me thinking something like that? He cares a LOT about his image and whats acceptable for him to be and to mask his difficulty in some social situations.
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He doesn't like acknowledging that which might be sort of difficult for him to come to terms with, with the ye olde character trait of repression that him and John share, believing if he keeps his feelings buttoned up, they don't need to feel embarassed (aka: avoidance)
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Hes also a fair bit more snarkier than fanon gives him hooks for. His subconscious takes the form of his best friend, but its commented as being “like hal, in terms of snarks”. Jake can also be the snarky customer to Dirk AND Hal, and Caliborn too. He's a gentleman to ladies (TO A DEGREE) but with guys he's not afraid to be more cutting with it. I am begging you on your hands and knees to drop the woobified jake english and make him slightly snarky and a bit offputting and weird. Jake grew up in the middle of a jungle and burned his grandmother.
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Also he seems to be slightly aware of outside forces, note him calling attention to the fact he knows things he shouldn't canonically even be able to know.
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Because Jake IS a little freak. He thinks corpse puppetry is funny. He punches what he thinks is fish hitler while ranting about movies. Hes funny as fuck. Hello.
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However, with all of THAT out of the way, lets focus on some of the more ABRASIVE parts of his personality. While Jake is funnily charming with his old lingo and tendency to ramble, he has issues! One HUGE one is reluctance to fully FACE things he doesnt feel he has a full grasp on. He DOESNT like going out of his comfort zone, he DOESNT like talking about his emotions to people he really cares about or thinks has fallen for his manic dreamboat pixie persona, He's well aware people fall for it. He works hard to make sure people DO. But it sort of restricts him to that persona, he can't grow from it as long as he holds onto the idea that this persona hes chasing is the only way he can BE without being vulnerable.
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Jake can be OVERBEARING, and not just that, painfully unaware when he's up his own ass! This critic he gives to Dirk applies to himself! The reason why he doesn't like brainghost dirk is because GOD forbid the man self-reflect juuust a little and find something that upsets him. Nope! Not going to deal with it. Just as quickly as he is to switch the thought that everyone loves him, he is just as likely to switch to think that everyone doesnt.
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Anyways, I think thats all I have to say, Jakes words speak a LOT about his character, and I genuinely love him a lot. He has some words i think about a lot and hes genuinely such an awesome guy. I'll let a few choice pieces of dialogue from Jake himself close this out for me.
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This was one of the last conversations we see with him. And I still think about his words a lot.
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I'll probably edit this when I get the energy. But I think i covered most of it. Happy writing!
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pinkswaet · 4 months
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Can you do a dark lewis smut fic
I was just thinking about writing a lewis smut, i hope you like it 😊
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Obsessed 🤍
Summary: you thought all your problems were gone when you dumped your crazy toxic boyfriend but you felt like someone was watching you for quite a few days. it felt like someone was keeping an eye on you, that is when you realized your problems weren’t gone
Warnings: nsfw, 18+, dark, tw, hair pulling, cnc, usage of rope, dacryphilia, stalking
You were on a relationship with lewis for a good 2 years. Those 2 years were really beautiful. He’s just so caring and protective towards you. But as time went by he started to become more obsessed about you. His behavior was more possessive. You had to inform him every single thing. What are you doing, where are you, who are you with, why are you out this late, why are you this, why are you that. God. Every little questions made you more frustrated. At a point you were just tired by his behavior. He was just over reacting. You hated it. But now that you finally dumped lewis, things were different. You felt free. You were happy partying with your friends, happy staying home alone.
But something seemed off. Whenever you’re home, you felt like someone was watching you. It terrified you so much. You told some of your friends about it but they just said that you’re overthinking. “Y/n my love, youre just overthinking. Its probably nothing like that” but you knew something was wrong. You knew there was someone who’s watching you. Watching every move of yours.
It was currently 10 pm or something around 10. You stopped all your thoughts and did all your house chores. You were washing your hands in the bathroom as you got lost in your thoughts. All those sweet moments with lewis. It was so pure. You were so in love. But he was just being a controlling psycho. Always controlling all your moves. Was it really love? Or did it just feel like it. Your movement slowed down as you wandered around all your thoughts in your head.
A sudden movement made you flinch as you saw a man behind you, suffocating you with a small towel around your nose and mouth. You tried to resist but it was too late. You blacked out. Before blacking out all you could see was, the man sedating you is, lewis. Fuck.
You woke up with an intense amount of headache as you furrowed your brows. You tried to collect all the things, all the things that happened before you blacked out. Right. It was lewis. You were laying on stomach as your hands were tied with a rope. Your arms were aching as it arched to rest on your back. You were so frustrated and scared at the same time. You tried to move and get up but you couldn’t. Your mind was just blanking out. Your movement stopped as you heard lewis’ footsteps coming closer. Your breath got heavier as you closed your eyes. He came closer and traced his fingers all over your naked body. You tried to roll over to get away from his touch but your action just made lewis laugh. “You think you can get away from me baby?” He said as he brushed your hair from your face. You then tucked your face in your bedsheet to avoid his touch. But that made him grab your hair from your back and pull your hair to lift your head. You whined out in pain as he whispered in your ear “i dont think so you can get away from me now love, even if you want to. you’re mine” his smirk grew as he heard you sobbing.
“Lewis p-please let me g-go” you said as tears rolled down your cheeks, ruining your mascara. “Aww but baby why would i let you go when all i want is you. All i need is you” he said as you felt his weight over your body. Your wrists were sore as you tried your best to break free. “I’ll date you again lewis, i-im sorry i d-dumped you” you said as your bedsheet soaked in your tears as your left cheek rested on your bed. You whined as you felt lewis rubbing the tip of his dick on your ass. “N-no no lewis please, i dont w-want to” you said as you cried. “Shh love, be a good girl for me” he whispered in your ear as he went inside. You gasped and hid your face on the bedsheet, your toes curled up at the anticipation. You hated the fact that your body wasn’t taking your side. Your body wanted more of him but your mind stopped you.
Lewis pulled on your hair as your head fell back. His grip on your hair was strong. Causing a stinging pain on your scalp. “If you don’t want it then why are you so wet me huh? Since you dont want it then I’ll stop love” he said as you shook your head, you were so ashamed of how you’re acting right now. He then stopped his pace as you shook your head again. “N-no no dont stop baby, please” you pleaded as lewis scoffed at your words. “Baby?” He asked as you hid your face on the bedsheet. His pace was fast again as the room filled with skins slapping together. His dick made your pussy clench. It has been so long since you haven’t had sex. His touch made you reach your edge.
His breath got heavier as he fucked you hard from behind. “Did you fuck anyone else after dumping me love? Did you make another guy cum in your bedroom?” He asked as you shook your head. He pulled on your hair as you whined. “Answer me!” He shouted as you cried out. “No! No lewis i didnt” you said as you closed your eyes. Tears drying on your cheek. He then pushed your face on the bed as he wrapped his hand around the back for your neck. His whimpers echoed in your room as you felt his dick twitch around you.
The last few thrusts before he came was rough. You sighed as you closed your eyes, breathing heavily. He then grabbed your jaw whispering in your ear “good girl” as he smirked.
A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️
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eilishsluv · 6 months
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could u write a fanfic maybe a angst to fluff? perhaps billie stops giving attention and reader overthinks which leads to angst then fluff. hope ur well:)
sure anon! i hope this is how you wanted<3
attention
billie eilish x fem!reader
summary: billie had stopped giving you the attention she used to which lead to you overthinking & so an argument
warnings: arguing, hickies, kissing & unedited
notes: this was fun to write, enjoy reading:)
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billie was an extremely busy person, she had been ever since she stepped foot into the famous business. but these past few weeks you've been feeling extremely neglected by her, its happened before but never for this long. usually only afew days but its almost been 2 months. this had made your thoughts sprial.
overthinking was a bad habit of yours but how could you not especially right now? her flirty comments with other famous people, fans & just anyone. you loved billie & so did she, but now you definitely doubted it.
you both laid in her bed, your head on her chest & usually she'd avoid her phone, or atleast her hands somewhere on you, but no, not today. billie had both her hands on her phone, with her arms on either side of you, barely brushing against you as she typed.
you were done, the jealousy, overthinking & worry got to you. you managed to move away from billie & off the bed.
"whats wrong baby?" billie questioned watching you look around the room.
you ignored her completely, although hearing her voice & petname hurt your heart terribly. scurrying around her room finding your clothes & some of your belongings, billies brain started to tik realising you were leaving.
"woah woah woah, y/n what are you doing?" billie started to move off the bed to stand with you. this made your blood boil.
"oh so you can flirt with other people, ignore me completely, make me feel like shit but you expect me to stay & deal with all of it?" as you talked your voice got louder & louder, you were pissed.
the distress was visible in her face, you stared at her waiting on a response.
"y/n what are you on about?" billie was on the verge of tears, you on the other hand had hot tears streaming down your cheeks already.
"you think i dont see everything you do billie?! for fucks sake, i mean really? really. every single comment you make on another person breaks me apart cause i went from hearing them every single second to once a week if im fucking lucky!" your voice broke all throughout that sentence but you had to get that out, but you couldnt scream all you wanted to.
billie slowly stepped towards where you were standing. she was insanely intimidating when she wanted to be, all you did was step further back up until you hit the wall.
she stared deep into your eyes, hers showed a sad although dominant expression.
"is that all you think & feel?" billie looked as if she was joking, you didnt care. she asked for it whether or not she was serious.
you scoffed looking down then back up into her eyes.
"do you seriously think thats all? i mean billie all i fucking want is your attention but you dont even give a single fuck to me anymore. you have done nothing but ignore me for weeks!" screaming that in her face felt therapeutic but also painful.
billie looked speechless, you guys had argued before but never over something like this.
"you think i dont love you?" her sentence hung in the air, your face gave it all away. billie cleared her throat before continuing.
"which other girl is dancing in my house, wearing my clothes, coming with me to events, sleeping in my bed in my arms, cooking me dinner or listening to me make a new album? y/n you are the only girl i want & need, i own up to being distant but i dont want another girl" billies tears started to fall. you wiped them away as she leaned into your touch.
"im sorry baby." you felt like shit for everything you did in the past 10 minutes.
"dont be sorry for my actions & how ive treated you" you both felt bad but only wanted one thing, & that was eachother.
billie leaned down into your neck, leaving kisses & marks. it was one of her ways of saying sorry & that she loves you.
"i love you" you spoke
"i love you mamas" billie answered back.
she was all you wanted & you were all she wanted, she definitely cleaned her act up after that.
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