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#i dont even know how much money I'll get but i just want to buy a little treat
cherrygarden · 13 days
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#i hate being more financially responsible than my parents#I HATE IT#like i've lived through them obsessing over bills and having our services cut many many times and risk our shit being taken from us#and have to listen to my dad making phone calls begging for money from friends and how humilliating that is#and now we're doing a little better but i was raised with that stress and that just doesnt go away#and i see them spend money on shit we don't need and that would be fine if we didn't still have many debts and health issues we keep postpo#postponing bc we don't have money#and since my exchange i've been feeling so guilty about how much money it cost them#and ive talked to them about it when i was applying to give them the chance to tell me no and reconsider#and during it bc i felt like the worst person alive for needing to eat#and after bc i put them in so much debt with my uni that i can't enroll for this semester#and so much shit has happened and ive been feeling guilty and a waste of money and space and most of the time i feel like a shell of myself#and they see it but they dont know what to do because instead of comforting me ever they just put me in a psychologist's office#and just now my mom smiled at me and told me that since they weren't able to give me any presents last year they were talking#and wanted to buy me tickets for lollapalooza this weekend#and i want to go so badly and i entered so many giveaways and stuff but i didnt win so i was also sad about that#but i just looked at her like 😐 because we are definitely not in a financial situation to be spending money like that#like i appreciate the gesture but i've taken enough from them and i already feel guilty#i told her i would feel guilty and wouldn't enjoy it bc they literally don't have the money#and she said ''oh we just can't pay the full amount that we owe right now but we have enough''#???? then put the money on a savings account????? not spend it because you have '''extra'''#which you dont even have!!!!! i told her to prioritise our health bc we all have to get blood work done and exams and multiple doctors and#our general bills!!! like there's more important things that would put me more at ease than a concert which yes would have made me happy#but not like this and not when it's a present out of guilt and inability to know me#and i was crying and she was sad at my reaction and i had to apologise for not accepting it and being like this#literally told her ''i also wish i wasnt like this'' and she said nothing#so that was a fun start to my day :)))))))))#i hate that she thought it was a good idea and i hate that i had to say no#at least i didn't say any of the hurtful things that went through my head so i'll take it as a win#it sucks that we both feel guilty over the uni situation becuase we're both equally at fault
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the-kipsabian · 8 months
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very tired of pushing the ko-fi post constantly but idk what else to do :)
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remcycl333 · 5 months
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some thoughts on imagination and fulfilling ALL your desires, no matter how small ♡
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hiii! just wanted to share with you guys some things ive been thinking about lately and a new discovery!
so first of all! i went through a little phase this previous weekend where i could not imagine for the life of me. i just could not concentrate, and i kept hyperfixating on every little sound in my room and it was very frustrating. i also could not fall asleep because i usually use daydreams to lull myself to sleep and i couldn't daydream! it was very frustrating.
(side note--at one point i wished that my room would just be silent and then i lost power for a few hours and my room WAS dead silent for a while, lol)
but then i was scrolling thru loatwt, like i do, and i found this acct @/scriptercas and they made a couple of posts about the way they imagine (i like this one too) and i tried it that night and i was DEEP in my imagination for like an hour straight. like me??? adhd aphantasia me???
i know that a lot of you guys are like me and have aphantasia and therefore can't see mental images and you can get discouraged by imagining, but this is definitely my new holy grail and i think this will work so well for you guys too!
(p.s. if you guys are into shifting, that account has some great advice! i'd really recommend!!)
i also recently re-read edward art's series, which i have mentioned in recent posts. once again, i know ive also said this recently, but i highly highly highly recommend reading it (or listening, there's also an audio form) if you haven't already! even if you just read the first five parts. i swear if you are still struggling to fully grasp the law, after you read it you will get it. it's so good.
i bring this up because in a lot of the parts, edward talks about building the habit of fulfilling every single desire--no matter how small--that you have, as it comes to you. and i've just been ruminating on this so much lately.
i remember at the beginning of my loa journey, there would be things that i wanted and i'd kinda mourn the fact that i didnt have them... when i didn't have to. i could've just fulfilled myself. but instead i had the idea in my head that "i'll manifest my sp first, and THEN i can get my desire of receiving flowers." or, "i'll manifest money first, and THEN i can buy the expensive things i want" or "i'll manifest my new apartment, and THEN i can host dinner parties for my friends" etc.
but what i've been thinking about lately--prompted by edward--is that you dont have to want for anything anymore. i can give myself any and everything i want in my imagination. i don't have to wait to manifest something else first.
this has really bolstered my imagination game as well. everything you want to do with or experience once you have your desire, you can have/experience in your imagination right now. and it really adds to your imaginings. it really helps immerse you more and helps you capture the feeling of it being real.
for example, when i was manifesting my apartment, i had sooo many things i wanted to experience once i'd manifested it. i wanted to have my friends over for game night and cook them dinner and make them cocktails. i wanted to bake in my spacious kitchen and have fancy utensils and expensive ingredients. i wanted to shower in my fancy shower and use expensive bath products. i wanted my own vanity stocked with expensive makeup and perfumes. i wanted a large walk in closet with rows and rows of gorgeous clothing. i wanted to come back from a night out and leave my clothes strewn about the bathroom bc i was too drunk to put them away, and no one was gonna see them or yell at me for leaving them there. like some of the things i desired for were so mundane, yet i felt the absence of them in my life every day. for example: living close to a target, being able to make adventurous meals without worrying if my family members would like them, playing video games with my friends in my own living room.
everything i just listed were things i wanted so badly once i had my apartment, but whenever id run into the opposite in my every day life, i wouldn't fulfill myself at first. like i'd go to cook the same old dinner i cooked for my family every other night and i'd be like "ugh i wish i could be in my own apartment where i did the grocery shopping and i could buy fresh ingredients and make an elaborate meal instead of just having pasta and jarred sauce again." but then i realized that if i were in my dream apartment i would be able to do that. i spent so much time imagining waking up in my new apartment and what it would look like, but in the end, imagining stuff like this is what really helped me to fulfill myself and catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled.
i was really reminded of that whenever i re-read edward's series, and now im applying it to my new desires as well. it's so funny that no matter how much i manifest or how much i learn i always find myself forgetting little tidbits like that that really help me and are very valuable.
anyway i just wanted to make this post to help you guys a little maybe! i was just in the shower and i was remembering edward saying to fulfill every little desire you have--not matter how small-- and i was remembering the days i used to imagine myself in my current shower, and id close my eyes and imagine the scent of the shampoo i wanted to get and i'd feel where every individual bath product would be placed once i had my own shower. and all that inspired me to write this!
i hope that this helps you guys out and/or gives you imagination motivation! i feel like it's important to imagine all the small things that pertain to your desire that maybe you overlook while imagining, but that you know you deeply yearn for even if u think they're mundane or that you'll just get them once you get your big, overarching desire <3
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genericpuff · 1 month
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I dont think snailords is literally going to end the series in 20 episodes. I think he is plotting the rest of the season and has the option to extend it 10 or 20 episodes.
That's not what he implies in his post, though, at all. The wording is very clear:
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He's not saying "I have the ending for Death : Rescheduled planned out but I have this one mini arc I want to do before it", he's literally saying "the comic is ending whether you like it or not, but if you give me $1k I'll make sure it's 20 weeks from now instead of 10." He doesn't say he's plotting out the end which is however far from now, he just goes straight into "I'm gonna end the comic in either 10 episodes or 20". And then of course even goes to say "decide whether you want 20 more weeks with Kissae and Kreyul, or 10 more weeks to say goodbye". If he didn't want to give his readers the impression that that meant it was ending within that time range... then why phrase it like that? It doesn't help either that his phrasing is supported by his updates, where he says shit like:
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(Also I couldn't find them but there are other screenshots out there of him saying shit like "thanks for showing you love the series" in a way that's frankly rude af because it's basically like he's asking for money for his readers to 'prove' they love him and his work, and that wouldn't be the first time he's done that either.)
If he is saying what you're suggesting, then he's not being clear about it at all because the language is very seriously implying that it's going to be ending when it returns. Which I'd hope it isn't considering what other readers are pointing out that the story has basically just gotten going and I'd hate for this to turn into another Freaking Romance situation, but I don't know how else we're supposed to read "
And, as I mentioned in my post about it, why on earth even contemplate putting in this mini arc that he's asking for $1k as a deciding factor over if he doesn't even have it written? He says he's way more confident just writing the finale arc as is, so why drag it out with an arc he's not completely confident in?
And of course, there's the urgency. If Death : Rescheduled isn't entering its ending arc after it returns from midseason hiatus - if it still has potentially years of storytelling left - then why now? Why suddenly ask your readers to buy $1k worth of merch in 24 hours or less to help you make a decision... if the actual consequences of that decision won't be made apparent for ages?
And at the end of the day, even if it's a possibility he meant what you're suggesting, that doesn't make it any less scammy to hold the comic's potential ending for ransom? Speaking as a comic writer myself of the last 10+ years, getting money from the audience in this kind of way has never ever been a deciding factor in how I write my work. Sure, things like stretch goals and Patreon milestone rewards are a thing, offering bonus chapters or NSFW art or just additional goodies if you hit a financial goal or if people sign into a certain tier, all that makes sense, but if what you're offering is worded specifically to make your audience panic - not saying "hey , you guys get an extra bonus 10 episodes if I hit this goal by this date" but rather "hey, you guys won't get AS MANY episodes if you don't pay me $1k in 24 hours or less" - and ultimately gets your readers an extra 10-15 episodes of an arc you're not even confident in writing ... the fuck is that, even? Just write the story you want to write, why do you gotta make your audience freak over not getting as much comic as they might want only to twist it into "surprise, it was for charity!" in the end?
The whole thing is silly and yeah, I'm calling it for what it is - a scam - because it's not the first time Snailords has taken advantage of his audience and played on their emotions and need for short-term gratification all for his own financial benefit. It's not even the first time he's tanked his own comic from rushing the ending simply because he was done playing with it. So at this point I wouldn't be surprised if the comic does come back and proceeds to spend 10-15 episodes waffling on a directionless mini arc before rushing into a 10 episode finale.
That said, that's all my two cents on it, you don't have to agree with me. I really don't feel like I'm misinterpreting his words but maybe someone else could enlighten me if there's something I'm missing here; that said, considering even his own readers were calling him out on this and that he never actually made efforts to clarify what could be poor language, I don't think I'm an outlier and I don't think there's even any misinterpretation happening. Maybe he'll prove me wrong, but I've yet to see this guy do anything to prove that he's capable of doing the right thing. And frankly, even if what you suggested turns out to be true and the comic goes on for a long while before actually hitting that $1k-funded mini arc (and again, I kinda hope it does just so we don't end up with a repeat of what happened with Freaking Romance) it doesn't make any of this feel less gross IMO.
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AITA for accepting money/gifts from my mom?
(🦭🐟 to help find later)
Ok bear with me here because this is a serious question w/ some context even though the question doesn't seem bad.
My (19NB) mom (54F) is not a very good parent. Things were not great when I was a kid, to say the least. It's complicated to get into so I'm gonna glaze over most of it and say I plan to go low/no contact when I'm older and can afford to support myself on my own. For now I'm amicable since I need help while getting through college. This has been my plan for a WHILE but I've started to feel a little guilty?
My biggest issue with my mom is the way that she treats/treated my siblings. Sometimes she gets on my nerves but I know I have the privilege of being the youngest (and the favorite) therefore my parents don't pull the same kind of bullshit with me. For example one of my siblings had family therapy with her, and she would frequently not show up and leave them to do the exercises with the other families in the group session that they didn't know. She also complained about their suicide attempt. She talks down to my oldest sister because she couldn't pursue the medical career my parents wanted because she couldn't deal with the cadavers, and since she spent her whole education trying to reach their standards she's been lost trying to figure out what she wants for herself, and my parents keep harping on her for not having a career plan and being "useless". This is only the tip of the iceberg, and it's plenty enough for me to feel justified in my decision to eventually go no contact. I am not asking if AITA for cutting her off, that is not where the guilt is.
It's always been the case that instead of directly saying she was wrong my mom would spend a lot of money on us and buy gifts (usually stuff she likes and not what we like, but I figured out I could leverage her guilt to buy specific things bc free stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ even if I don't forgive her). I think this is because she didn't have much money growing up so now she's a shopaholic now that she has the money to do so (both my parents are in the medical field so they are far from poor. abt upper middle class). She also keeps defending our uncle despite us bringing up how he's creepy and pervy and makes us uncomfortable, and she has some... interesting political takes (like defending the price of insulin being so high???)
My mom I think has been trying to be better but she still never apologizes for any of her actions and is guilt trippy by saying stuff abt how we all think shes a bad mom that caused all her kids to be depressed and suicidal. So its not enough of an improvement for me to forgive her, but I do notice that she walks away from situations sometimes rather than blow her fuse, and she's more tolerant of my ADHD and queerness than she used to be. And she's been trying to be more supportive of me and my decision to pursue an art career. I do believe that people can get better and change themselves, I just think in the case of my mom it's too little too late (and she hasn't improved her relationship with my siblings as much). I've also been polite and friendly since I'm still living with her.
So like, this combined with me accepting her gifts makes me think I'm leading her on? Like she thinks that she's salvaging a relationship with one of her kids and that I'll stay. And I feel a little bad about that. Like if it was JUST the gifts I would feel no guilt bc if she thinks she can bribe her way into our good graces without changing her behavior than shes gonna be down money and still have no kids. But shes trying to improve, albeit slowly and not when we needed her, but better nonetheless. So it feels less "this is the least she could do given the trauma" and more "i feel like i'm taking advantage of her".
One of my siblings refuses to accept her money on principle (they've already moved out) and it makes me think I should probably do the same, but also i dont know if I can since I don't have a job yet and I'm still in school, so maybe just refuse the gifts thing? But neither of my siblings seem to have an issue with my relationship with her, so maybe I shouldn't feel bad? She's treating me better so I feel I have less justification for using her wealth for my own benefit, even if I still don't forgive her for how she treated my siblings.
Basically, AITA for still accepting guilt money/gifts from my shitty mom despite planning on cutting her off later on?
What are these acronyms?
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darkbluekies · 11 months
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Silas asks #6
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Previous one Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3 Warnings: bruises, unhealthy relationships, mentions of marking silas up
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What if I made silas a angry steak with vinegar 😡ok that sounded werid but here's the angry steak recipe 😂vinagear sauce, microwave that steak
He'll make sure all of your meals are cooked in dishwater.
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What if after the "basement session" Silas find out that now the little thing has a really strong self harm tendencies? Like she start to bite herself, physical abuse herself and not only that! She start to call herself "dirty" (or smt) and her self esteem start to go down very fast. Is Silas will help s/o with it or he'll like it? Hope not the second option <;;:(
Of course he'll hate it :( he doesn't like when you're hurt, hence why he uses the basement as a punishment and not something physical. He hates to see painful marks on your body. He loves to see you painted in bruises, but not the ones that hurt. He'll make sure to tell you how beautiful and worthy you are so make sure that you know how much you mean to him. He'll dress you up in soft, fluffy clothes until you look like a marshmallow to make sure you won't hurt yourself.
"Come here, little thing, fuck, I love you so much. Please don't think like that. You know I don't want you to be hurt. I'll make sure you get well, I'll even call a doctor if you want ... I'll do anything to make sure you're happy, okay? Tell me what to do."
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I was re reading your Valentine’s Day post with and I was wondering if he would be the type of yandere to buy his darling lots of clothes and made her spend hours trying them on in front of him? Ps you’re my favourite blog on this app, your writing is amazing and I’m always excited for your next post
[I did two valentines, but I'm guessing that you mean Silas? Thank you so much, btw that makes me so happy <3]
Of course he's the type to make you into his personal little runway model. He'll sit back in a chair and watch with dark eyes, loving everyhting you put on.
"And spin ... good job. I like that one. We'll get that one. What do you mean 'it's short'? It's supposed to be. I'm the only one who will see it anyway, so why does it matter? Try next one. I'm enjoying this."
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Hey how are you? I just came back from school and was watching in the gym and saw some kids practicing taekwondo, so I was wondering how would Silas react to his darling knowing taekwondo and can be his ass? Would he be amused or frustrated I just wanted to know cuz I kept thinking about it for about an hour before saying it now. I hope you had a good day :) -new anon
[I'm doing good, thank you!!]
He'd be both frustrated and amused. He would be able to playfight with you and not have to worry about you hurting yourself, but he'd be worried that you would be able to escape him easier now. If you weren't showing any signs of running away, he'd not think much about it and would enjoy getting lessons from you. If you could teach him how to be as good as you, he'd be able to protect himself and you better.
"Like this? No? Y/N, seriously, teach me. Stop playing around."
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How would Silas react to a reader with a bad light sensitivity disorder? Like irlen syndrome? I have it and it realy makes me feel isalated as no one elce i have met has had it in eny form (and i have move a LOT) if u dont want to do that what about an s/o who has dislexia? (As u can probarly gess i have that to. Life is so cruel 🥲)
Whatever problem you might be facing, whether it be physical or mental, he will be there for you. If you feel that it's hard to use your eyes, he will go to every doctor to try to find some kind of glasses to help you and if there are none, he'll be your eyes. The same with spelling and reading. He'll do everything for you. You don't have to lift a pretty finger :)
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I would've spent all of babygirl silas money the first day tbh
my eye is twitching at that nicknAME
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Hii I just read white bunny and I thought it was so good! It got me thinking about whether Silas would carry on treating the reader gently if they improved mentally or if he would go back to the way he was treating them before they ran away?
He would continue to treat them like he is. He's terrified of hurting you again and since you seem so happy when he treats you like this ... then he'll continue. Whatever you want, he'll do for you, don't worry about it. He's here for you ... always.
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Hear. me. out.What if darling (s/o? Still don't know difference) ENJOY being in a basement (I am talking about Silas by the way) I mean, they (sorry i forget if s/o (darling) has a gender) think it's something like a minute just for them. No talking, no these annoying "baby" or "little thing", no forced touching. Just you ...and cold floor.
He'll be so pissed and change his tactics. You're not supposed to like his punishments! So you like the dark and quiet? No more of that. He'll be cuffing you two together and talking to you nonstop about how perfect you are and how he's going to keep you for as long as he wants to, aka really getting into your head.
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I kinda want to bite Silas, he seem so chewy and acidic, green sour patch kid, especially his cheek, let me bite Silas, I need to bite Silas-
I mean ... he'd 100% like it so go ahead, leave some marks while you're at it.
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hi !! just wanted to pop in here to request smth as well as tell you i love your writing sm !! i cant wait for part 11 of "the alliance" comes out !! there fr needs to be more yuri content in spy x family.
also, have you ever thought of crossposting your work on wattpad/ao3/quotev ? i only say since at workplaces and school tumblr is usually blocked, and when i have a bad day im always here rereading your writing.
ANYWAYS ONTO MY REQUEST ofc its gonna be yuri x reader !! it can be headcanons or an actual oneshot, whatever you want to do, but ive always wanted to see how yuri would react to birthdays, whether it be his one or y/n's.
anyways, thanks so much for reading this. even if you dont do my request, i hope you know how genuinely happy and giddy youre writing makes me and other.
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        Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader
        This can be read with or without reading my Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series: An Alliance (part 1).
        Beware! This fic DOES contain SPOILERS for the manga and for the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series: An Alliance (part 1)!
        Series information: Setting is AFTER the reader rejoined WISE (so Yuri and [Y/N] are married and [Y/N] becomes an official double-spy).
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   Yuri doesn't exactly like celebrating his birthday, even when he was a kid he didn't care much. The only thing he really has to look forward to that day is Yor visiting him. Other than that, he sees the day as any other day. He wouldn't even celebrate if you and Yor didn't make him every year. 
        You and Yor would meet up the day before his birthday and bake a cake together. Afterwards, you'd both go shopping for birthday gifts. 
        Yuri swears he's in paradise on his birthday. You AND Yor both spending time with him, laughing and getting along with each other? That's enough of a birthday gift for him (until Loid and Anya walk through the front door).
        Other than that, Yuri would rather spend the day relaxing off work. He'd be up to going for a walk or a restaurant for dinner, but he's a little simple.
        "Yuri, it's your birthday, we're supposed to celebrate!" you explained. 
        "I know, I know. It's just... I've never really celebrated my birthday much growing up." Yuri admitted.
        When his parents died at a young age, he didn't really have the time to celebrate when he was busy studying for school. Yor would at least make him a cake (it wasn't very good... or edible) before heading out for work, leaving him to his own devices for his birthday. He didn't have birthday parties because of how poor they were and he didn't make friends either for anyone to attend them.
        "It is my responsibility as your wife to celebrate your birthday with you because according to this ring, I'll be with you for all your other birthdays." You spoke, showing him the silver ring with the ruby on top that he bought you.
        Your words made him tear up, his face turning red as tears and snot rolled down his face.
        "You're an angel!" he exclaimed, hugging you tight enough to suffocate you.
        "I know, now let go before you kill me and I won't be here next year!" you gasped, hugging him back despite your words of "let go"
        On your birthday, he's much more energetic and fun (he's a hypocrite).
        He'd buy you your favorite flowers and cook your favorite breakfast for in bed. After breakfast he'd bake a cake from scratch using a cooking book (no, you cannot help. Go watch TV or read a book). 
        He'd take you somewhere that you like to go or that's of interest to you: an aquarium, zoo, park, flower garden, beach, sports game, anywhere you'd like.
        He would blow his entire week's paycheck on gifts for you (he works for the state, he has the money). 
        "I have a reservation for that fancy restaurant that just opened up down the road." Yuri spoke, tying the tie on his suit.
        "How'd you get that done? There was a waiting list before that place even opened?" you questioned, brushing out your hair.
        "I have my ways." Yuri smiled. 
        "I hope none of those ways involved threats and bribery." You sighed, placing your hands on your hips as you looked at him.
        "No, no, I would never!" he said in a high voice, obviously lying. "...Maybe a little."
        "You'd go that far for me?" you questioned, holding your heart as a warm fondness stirred your chest, your heart beat raising. "You're such a sweetheart!" you cooed before kissing him on his cheek.
        "Psh! It was nothing! I just wanted to do something for you since you did something for me on my birthday." He spoke, acting as if it was nothing (the blush on his cheeks and the smile on his face said otherwise). 
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        Thank you so much for requesting! I do apologize for the request being short, I personally don't have much experience on birthdays due to growing up in a family where we don't do much for birthdays.
        I'm also working on writing a request for a Christmas one shot for Yuri that will come out in the middle of December so stayed tuned for that!
At the moment, I'm also crossposting my work onto Ao3, Wattpad, and Quotev. I've finished uploading the Yuri Briar x Fem! reader: An Alliance series onto Wattpad and Ao3. My account name is "Stellar Constallation" for Wattpad and "StellarConstellations401" for Ao3.
        Want more Yuri content? Check out the Yuri Briar x reader masterlist!
        Have any other requests? Check my official masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist
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wannaeatramyeon · 8 months
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Ok random thought, but what if Jake wore his hair down in illegal gambling arc because he wanted to save money, so he didn’t buy pomade? Like he did when he ate ramyeon for weeks straight🥹 Had to share it with somebody, you came to my mind
Sneaky sneaky, giving me brainrot. This is VERY indulgent. VERY rambly. More so than usual. Honestly, I dont even know what this is.
Jake Kim x Reader: Hair Pomade
G/N. Gambling arc. Jake has a new hairstyle.
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You didn't mind Jake's new hair, though you did mind why he had to wear it that way.
A part of you couldn't help but think that if your own features fit together as nicely as his does, you would never have any of your face covered up. Even if it was just his forehead, fringe sweeping over his eyebrows.
It just seems a waste to hide any of it.
"What, you don't like my new look?" he would ask with an exaggerated pout, after you brushed his hair back one too many times as he lay his head in your lap. It was clearly said in jest but you could identify some of the tension and hurt beneath his carefully casual demeanour.
That in itself was strange.
Jake barely ever cared about his looks. Coupled with the way he's become impatient and irritable in the last couple months, you could tell something had been brewing.
You did try to poke and prod at whatever was lurking in his mind, to figure out the source of his issues. You never got an answer. Every time you did though, you would get the old Jake back. Just for a few days. Where he was all smiles, attentive and affectionate until whatever burden he had hit him full force again.
Other changes caught your eye too. Don't think you've missed the way he's been more frugal lately, previous dates are now replaced with mostly hanging out at yours.
Again, you didn't mind. But add that to the fact you've seen him dropping a little of his bulk, skin losing its usual glow and you've also seen the amount of ramen (and only ramen) he has been eating-
You can put two and two together.
For whatever reason, you conclude, Jake is scrimping and saving. And that includes cutting back on hair pomade.
You barely have two wons to rub together yourself. However, the hair pomade, or lack thereof, made you a lot sadder than it really should.
Just that whatever Jake had to do, whatever he couldn't share with you, meant that he couldn't have that little routine he has followed for years. Since before you two got together.
That time to himself each morning, where he would get his hair just how he liked it. Smiling a little to himself once its styled in his usual way. A little peace before the chaos of the day truly started.
Maybe you over egged the significance of this, overthinking and spiralling. Nevertheless, you did what you could.
When Jake pulled the little tub out of a gift bag, the one he always used with the black container and white font, he mistook the gift for him as your own personal preference.
"You hate it that much?" Again with the lighthearted tone, yet his eyes are tight.
"No," you reach up to kiss him and ruffle his hair, "I just know how much you liked to wear it swept back... and maybe I'll cook tonight? You've had enough ramen for a lifetime."
Jake swallows down the lump in his throat.
He doesn't know what to say. Has it been that obvious with how much he has been struggling in the last few months? Of course you could clearly see through him. He should have known better than to keep it from you.
Jake can't tell you everything, but perhaps he can tell you some things.
The tightness in his eyes is replaced by a wetness. He doesn't look at you, he can't. If he does he thinks he might crack.
Jake keeps his eyes downcast, staring at the tub gripped in his hand.
The hair pomade, that really should be insignificant, that meant nothing - means everything to him.
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marcyyss · 2 years
Text
' Loving at the distance '
Vance hopper x reader
( Reader and Vance are 15 )
Summary: You love Vance Hopper, one day he appears with a girl so you decided to make him jealous, even if he doesn't know about your existence!
-
This one is short, and prob the next one is the last part!! Pls give ideas for the next part so it wont be so short :(
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After what happened, you called Bruce to search for comfort and platonic love..
Which you didn't get, he laughed at you
— " YOU CAN'T BE *THAT* BAD "
— " yes i am! I ruined everything "
— " How the FUCK you can say that to your YEARS crush, are you stupid? "
He said as he laughed at you, at least he was a good friend and told you that he is going to your house with ice cream
- 15 minutes lateer -
— " Ok but seriously, how can people ALWAYS have ice cream in their house? Like im not broke but i dont have THAT much money to buy ice cream everyday "
Bruce was talking about life, like he always do and you were crying in the sofa, like you always do
— " oh my god y/n, stop crying for that idiot, plus he already has a girlfriend "
— " But I can be his girlfriend! "
— " Keep dreaming y/n i dont think thats going to happen anytime soon "
— " Weren't you here to comfort me?! "
— " Nah, im here to eat ice cream, watch tv and make fun of you, like, my 3 favorites things in the world together "
You sobbed again, and he rolled his eyes and hugged you
— " Ugh Fine... Dont be sad y/n, there are a lot of people out there plus he isn't that pretty you know? He should brush his hair "
— " If i was his girlfriend i could brush it.. "
— " Okay, now you are just being pathetic, stop crying for him! You stalk him all summer and he knows it, and doesnt say anything to you, he doesn't care about you "
— " You're rigth, i should stop looking after him "
You sigh, and your hopes of being with Vance leaves your body..
BUT
Your hopes of being with someone new makes you feel good, you were pretty enough, some boys at school already asked you out so you guess you are really pretty
— " You're rigth Bruce! I deserve more then him! "
— " Exactly! I love when you listen to me and not your dumbass heart "
— " Im pretty rigth? Like, i could have a pretty boyfriend, and then Vance will look what he missed "
— " Yeah, um, i wouldn't say that you are prettier then ME but yeah, you are.. something "
You runned to the bathroom and started brushing your hair and putting makeup on your face
— " Hey Bruce, do you know anyone that has a crush on me? "
— " Uuuh, yeah? A 12 year old.. "
— " Come on, help me on this one, you said i should stop crushing on Vance so im trying and you are no help "
— " Ok.., um, yeah Mike has a crush on you, he told me that he wanted to asked you out someday "
— " Uuh.. He's not really my type but i guess it can work "
— " By the way, why are you putting makeup? Its like 1 am "
— " .. Fuck you're rigth. "
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When school begin, you and and Mike were taking, he seem nerveous to talk to you but you were trying to find anything atractive in him, so you can like him back
— " So Mike.. Do you want to go to the park someday? Like.. In a date? "
— " A d-date? Suresuresuresure i'll go with you anywhere if you want "
"Weirdo" you thought, you were kinda disgusted by him, but you tried to look kind and pretty, but in the inside you thought if there was ANYONE ELSE who liked you and was atractive, it seems like you could only think on Vance and how handsome he was
The bell ringed, so your nigthmare of talking to Mike the weirdo was over, as you were walking to your class, mr. Vance hopper grabbed you by the arm
— " Dont think you would get away with this bullshit, really, whats on your fucking mind you weirdo? You dont have a brain? "
— " Hey let me go asshole, i need to go to class "
— " Yeah no shit, you wont go anywhere with that idiot, you will go out with me "
— " YOU? Yeah, no thanks but im really over you so your chance are none "
— " Im not asking, im telling you that you will, see you in grab and go at the same hour as always "
He left after saying that "asshole" you thought, as you were going to that fucking date with him..
Okay maybe you will, you are not THAT over him.. But of course Bruce will be there because maybe Vance wants to beat the hell out of you, and someone has to be there to recognize your body
Thats the only reason
Rigth?
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Pls give ideas for the next part so it wont be so short 😭😭
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beeindaclouds · 2 years
Note
Hello!! Hope you're having the nicest day of your life^^ i wanna request something and if you cant do it its so alright so dont worry about it^^
Would you mind doing crew boys + anybody hoenstly reaction to you being so nurturing, happy and gentle with them and their friends until they wittness you be serious for the first time and it throws them so off guard when your being serious/professional?
Thank you so much and i appreciate you^^ love, anon 🥚
Hallo 🥚 anon, thanks for requesting!
I honestly love this request haha
Hope you enjoy <3
DTQK react to Kind!Reader being serious
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Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Jacobs
Click Here before requesting, please ^^
Reader: GN - They/Them
*tw: caps
You are basically the parent of the group
You always make sure that everybody is ok, everybody has eaten and drunk water and you also are a mod for all of them
Your friends and fans have always only seen the kindhearted and calm side of you
So imagine their surprise when you suddenly blew up
While on a dtqk + you stream, someone in chat decided to be rude and comment on the other boy's insecurities
You decided to not give it attention until the same person kept on resending the same thing over and over again
It all went too far when the person had the audacity to send you money with the same message just so it would be read put loud
No one insults your friends infront of you and gets away with it
"I'm gonna mute for a sec guys. Ok to whoever clearly doesn't want to be here, keeps on spamming in chat and was dumb enough to send me money to insult my friends, thank you so so so much for your view and your money! I'll make sure to use these 20 dollars to buy one of my dear friends merch and maybe use the spare change to buy you a single brain cell since you seem to have none. Love ya!"
And as chat cheered for you and the mods banned that person, you realized something
You didn't actually mute and the boys heard everything
Dream was in a fit of wheezes and probably fell off the chair judging by the noises. He did send also send you a privte thank you on discord;
George too speechles to even talk, he just let out a few laughs, surprised by your outburst;
Sapnap commented on how he should remind himself to never ever make you mad, because he is genuinely scared of you rn;
Quackity was cheering you on with a bunch of "YEAH, YOU TELL THEM" and "KICK THEIR ASS";
Karl, like George, didn't know what to say and had this "idk what I just witnessed" look on his face
Let's just say that people will think twice before making you angry from now on
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moonshine-nightlight · 3 months
Note
Hello! I Just wanted to let you know that I LOVED the published ver. of "Don't Shoot the Messenger". And I was so excited to hear that Dale and Sana's story might get published too.
At first I was really unsure about getting the book, as I didn't want to be disappointed if the changes made didn't translate well compared to the original. BUT YOU KNOCKED MY EXPECTATIONS RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER!! IT WAS SO GOOD!!
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm so excited for your future projects. And I wish you luck on your future publishing endeavours because I will be buying all future published books by you. And no one can stop me haha >:D
I also wanted to ask if there's a chance that any of your other previous works will also be published? Of course it's a huge effort of time and resources to publish something. But I do hold out hope that I might one day hold Heshi's story in my hands because truthfully it's such a comfort to me and I go back to it periodically to reread. I love that snakey boi. NO PRESSURE THO. If that's not in the cards, just the fact that it exists as a story is wonderful. Thank you so much for all the writing you do.
anyway, bye
@annjo-wolfe
hi! thanks so much! i really liked what DSM actually was and focused on my own edits and that of my editors just honing it to be the best version of itself - so i'm glad that came through and you liked it!
if ur interested in too much info about my self-publishing plans, pls see under the read more
Dale and Sana's story definitely will be self-published,its just a matter of when. it's also probably gonna get more tweaks than DSM due to the length and the way the story evolved over 2 years lol
thank you so much for your support and encouragement with publishing! i'm so happy people are excited about actually buying my stories lol
As for previous short stories that getting published, the answer is yes, i do have plans to publish them as well, they're just a lower priority for multiple reasons. firstly, me and everyone wants NWWD the most so its #1.
For 'Finally Woken' i actually already have the first 2 chapters converted to 3rd POV, however, its shorter than DSM and so would cost nearly as much to have edited but would sell for less (and amazon will try to tell me the spine is too narrow lol) so my current thoughts are to bundle it with 'Selfish' (helpfully already in 3rd person) and make a Naga Novella (called like 'Tangled Up in Tails' or something lol) with both of them in it so i can release it priced similarly to DSM.
For 'Sacrifice', i actually have plans to make that a 5 novella series about different forgotten deities returning to the same town, with 'Sacrifice' likely being offered as a cheaper, first book about a month or so before the second is published to get people into the series. the rest of the novellas would likely not go up on tumblr/AO3 at all and would only be published. i'd like to use this hypothetical series to see how that sort of model would work for me. i've planned out the 5 novellas to some extent but nothings really written yet besides 'Sacrifice'. as a complete project, its very low on my list after everything i'll b posting here and NWWD publishing, so since 'Sacrifice' is tied to that, its not likely to get published anytime soon.
For 'Snapped', i'd likely do something similar to 'Finally Woken' - write another short Sci-Fi/Alien story and bundle them together for publishing. However, i dont currently have anything written that would work so that's also a low priority evn if 'Snapped' is already 3rd POV.
I'm really excited to self-publish my work, but its expensive and what I've made from DSM has come nowhere close to covering my costs and likely won't. the only good thing is basically all the costs are up-front so its easy to jsut keep the books out there and making money when ppl buy it. i have a good job and am happy to spend my money to get my work out there and hope over time self-publishing will break-even, but that will take years at a minimum so it'll be slow going in the beginning.
my goal is to get everything self-published so it'll just be a matter of time - i too want to hold a copy of Heshi's story in my hands lol
thank you for all your support and giving me a chance to ramble about all my self-publishing plans!
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samuelroukin · 5 months
Note
might be a bit too personal of a question so feel free to ignore/delete but have you struggled w/ alcoholism? i think i remember you saying that you dont drink much anymore so i just wanted to ask for idk some kind of advice cuz i just cant manage to drop that shit. thanks in advance man
hi don't worry i don't mind talking about it, but i'll put it behind a cut for others bc this got kinda long and i don't want to trigger anyone
first off i wouldn't say i am or ever have been an alcoholic especially comparing myself to other people in my life but i've had periods where i was struggling with it, getting drunk most nights and even sometimes having a drink (or two) during the day if i had to do something i felt anxious about, it was def a crutch and i occasionally fall back into it but only for short times luckily. so have that in mind, my advice might not be that useful for you
so for me it was really mostly about realizing ok this is A Thing and i don't want to let it get too far, i was pairing it with some other really unhealthy habits and started noticing some side effects (other than money lmao)
so i kinda figured ok. you don't need to do this. every time you decide to buy a bottle of whatever that's the alcohol kinda whispering in ur ear like ohhh im so fun but in the long term it's only gonna make me feel like shit, both physically and mentally. so not having it in the house made it so i could go a couple days without it, and then cave again, feel like shit, repeat.
but by stretching that time before caving i could sit with it for better or worse like now what do i do? i feel bad but drinking is gonna make me feel a different kind of bad so that's not an option (today at least! there's always tomorrow for making worse choices, idk but having that in mind helped) and then i'd find ways to distract myself, something to do with your hands can be helpful but it depends on how much brain space you have. but it gets easier and easier, slowly but surely. it's cliche but at first it really is about having that bit of control to go even a day without. that shows you that you can do it, however short at first
and then in time i won't lie you'll have moments of missing it but it's like. i know the trade off and i know it's not worth it slipping into that again because in the end it doesn't help. it's a coping mechanism and you have to either replace it with something healthier or whatever, or deal with what's making you use it. for me personally it was (and is) depression and anxiety and just shit life syndrome which aren't easy to just fix but i know drinking is gonna make all of that worse and i know better ways to deal with my feelings (could be anything for you, some people like journaling or therapy and neither of those did shit for me so. but you gotta find something)
sorry this got kinda long and rambling, and i don't know how much help it really is. i never felt like i needed outside help so i don't have any clue how that works but i've heard from others that groups like aa (maybe not aa specifically cause i've heard some weird stuff about them) can be really good for more insight and accountability but idk on a personal level
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night-market-if · 1 year
Note
AHHHHH The last chapter, just AHHHHHH, it was expected, but unexpected, I, I just can't.
I think, I dont know if this was an error or purposely, but when you are talking with <3Malcolm<3 and you have the options "I do/I'm sorry/ I could" talking about Milo and if you love him, in "I'm sorry" option, you go to the same page than "I could", again I don't know if you wanted in that way or not, but just in case I told you xD
SPOILEEEERSSSSSS
I'm so hyped for the next chapter, I can already see my MC, someone who really are a "Kuudere stereotype" (more or less he is a "serious and sarcastic type of character who is often cold, blunt, and cynical without showing any signs of emotion". But this is all facade, inside they are very affectionate, at least when it comes to their loved ones) losing his shit with all the things happening and busting in flames and drama because:
"really, I was wandering like a lost puppy all over the market for so long meanwhile people here were busy making necromancy shit, broking spines, buying-selling people as prison system and my f-ing lover/boyfriend whatever we are, (BECAUSE I EVEN DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL WE ARE) were more worried hiding the secret I almost died for a couple of times and telling shit like "be careful" ohhhh im going to be careful, dear of course im going to, I'm going to be very careful when I catch you cause im going to kill you" and "all the people here are just worrying about keeping their secrets and making shit decisions instead of worrying about the end of the world so f u guys"
The meme of a doggo saying "Im fine" meanwhile siping it's cafe in a house in flames? That is my mc outside, inside is the meme of "gimme yo f-ing money!!" CHAN CHAN LAW & ORDER Special victim unit Being the girl my MC and all the other character and drama the doll.
Can we please choose to lost our shit? I will love my usually calm MC losing his cool and exploding in a flurry of pent up emotions (I love drama)
The worst of all? I know im going to feel so bad about Milo that, surely im going to choose the meaner option only to know the way he will react but then im going to go back and choose the better option for his mental health cause, lets be honest, the poor guy needs not a therapy, but a whole psychological office, poor baby boy.
PS: Malcolm is the sexiest, charmer cutest boy ever and every time he talk my MC simp, a lot. I loved the head?canon about him talking with the lamp lights and now I cant stop thinking about it
Okey, maybe its better for me to stop rambling, thank you so much for all your hard work! Really, you are writing a master piece, I hope you have a beautiful day
That was for sure a bug! I got it all fixed up for the next update. Kicking myself that that one got messed because the "I'm sorry" portion was kind of important for a future romance. But! I guess that's why we have wips. LOL
I like the headcannon MC you got going. That is awesome. And oddly works really well I think for a Milo romance. I think Milo needs someone that can put him in his place occasionally and who is not afraid to call him out on his bullshit. In chapter twelve, it is going to much more be about getting the information he is holding back. There are going to be some moments to get angry with him but there is a lot going on in the last chapter that it won't be the focus. But I promise you, it is going to happen in book 2. There is no way Milo could even be in the game anymore without a confrontation of some sorts. I'll let the reader handle how they would like to see that confrontation but it will be there.
🪷✨🪷✨ If you want to support me 🪷 ✨🪷✨
 Demo 🌿 Patreon 🌿 Ko-fi 🌿Discord
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iamafanofcartoons · 9 months
Note
i'll be real. you blazed a post onto my dash. i'm gonna block you. rules are rules. figured i'd help you out before i do.
you really want to know why the youtube algorithm is bad? positive feedback loops. not positive as in good, but positive as in they grow larger over time.
youtube's recommendation algorithm is partially based off of what it learns from users. it takes in all kinds of data on what users watch--the uploader, the title, the tags, the thumbnail, the description, anything it can glean from the audio and visuals, whatever. you name it, google's probably holding it. they dont have yottabytes upon yottabytes of data for nothing.
importantly, though, is that they also keep track of what the user watches Next. see, google (as with most social media that uses an ad revenue model) will run studies, where they try out different experimental algorithms created from viewership data on different users and see what is more likely to get users to click through. how they create these experiments is pretty complicated, and i'll save you the technogore. think of it as making tons of algorithms that each think different combinations of aforementioned viewership data at different amounts are the reason why that viewer made their choice, then projecting that onto all users to inform future suggestions. trust me, that's the easy way to think about it.
what makes it a positive feedback loop? well, recall that i said the algorithms are created on viewership data. the successful one(s) is/are then used to inform future recommendations. that data is then used to further experimentally tweak the algorithm. the choices user make influence the algorithm. what influences the choices users make? the algorithm. as time moves on, the algorithm becomes more and more biased until youtube decides to make more dramatic changes to influence things in a different direction (remember the change to favor runtime? then to favor watch-through?)
here's where i get all communist, and why i felt compelled to write all this. youtube isn't fixing shit about this system. why would they? people are clicking through recommendations at insane rates! they're watching more videos! and sure, a general societal right-wing bias might have positive feedback looped into turning the website into a facism pipeline, but google is making so much fucking money from gathering an insane amount of information from users that can be used in ad targeting the whole time. even if youtube itself struggles with profitability, even if people like. kind of say stuff about the problem but never really do anything about it at a large scale, even if people are being redpilled, why should google care when they make more money than anyone could even comprehend? until capitalism is overthrown, there will be a shit algorithm.
blocking channels is a start, but there will always be more shitty things to block (just like how there's always blazed posts for me to block the OPs of). apps that bypass youtube accounts and privacy loss (youtube vanced and newpipe) are privacy tools first, kind of hit or miss when it comes to the algorithm. never looked into the source code of them, but, if you ask me, it's either some amalgamation of everyone's recommendations who use those apps, a "default" algorithm, or one that's kind of tailored to you as youtube slowly worms its way into identifying you by your device and ip address.
point is, dont hold your breath waiting. keep looking for tools, keep spreading the word, keep finding ways to support content you like so the artist isnt reliant on ad revenue. dont keep throwing your money at tumblr, though, they really dont need it. they really never needed it. buy yourself a nice fuckin sandwich. everybody deserves a nice sandwich.
god, i'm going to look dumb if my ask gets deleted when i block you in five seconds. you have a good night.
Soo...yeah....this was based on this post
Basically I'm sick and tired of people like Manga_Kamen, Vexed Viewer, WatermelonCube, and other people raging about how they hate something that others like, and how people are supposed to hate what they hate.
I just wanted to give people the opportunity to remove those hate videos from their search results, so that they can at least find what they're looking for, using Youtube search.
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autismvampyre · 1 month
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/autismvampyre/741462958593441792/hate-how-its-practically-impossible-to-find-anti?source=share
I saw this post and I couldn't agree more and Im asking anonymously cause I don't want to get judgement and stuff and I know this is going to sound a little dumb but I'm having a crisis about like. Whether or not I should support Taylor anymore like. Im going for the eras tour soon and I'm obviously really really excited but I've been seeing more and more anti swiftie media and it all really makes sense. Your blog was like the only anti swiftie one that didn't say all swifties deserve to die lol (at least from what I could find) but I just wanted to know if you have any advice on like letting go of the music in a way. I love her music, and one of the reasons I'm really scared to let go is that my childhood best friend and I share so many precious memories over her music and I don't want to disappoint her in a way by not listening anymore and her music helped me through really really hard times, which feels kind of dumb to say cause I'm 15, but like it's always really helped me and I don't know if I can or if I want to let go but at the same time I'm huge on ethics and a big part of my life has always been helping people and empathizing, and I just don't know if I want to support an artist who can't seem to publicly do that. Idk I was just wondering if you had advice? Thank you so much :)
P.s. feel free to ignore this ik it's loaded and not related to your blog entirely
hey! thanks for the ask. i wanted to respond to this before i forgot so this might be rushed but i hope i can still help.
i get your dilemma, i really do. i like her music a lot and one of the worst things about the anti swiftie community is how much it relies on the "her music sucks" card. its lazy and just personal taste, and i absolutely hate the puritanical idea that if you enjoy a single taylor song you are in some way morally lesser. people like what they like, and i think it's completely fine to enjoy her music because that isn't really an ethical concern
you can separate the art from the artist. its fine to do so. you shouldn't force yourself to stop listening to music you like unless you feel thats right for you. im very critical of taylor but i still occasionally listen to her music because there are a lot of memories attached to it and those memories are precious to me. art can make you feel so much, and you're not dumb for feeling comforted by it.
i dont think you have to let go of her music unless you want to. i believe the most important thing is to let go of the idea of taylor as a brand. people tend to get attached to her due to clever marketing; to a lot of people she's their friend and they feel very protective over her for that. taylor thrives off the parasocial relationship of her fandom which is financially beneficial to her. the most important thing to remember is that she is a billionaire with more money than you could ever imagine and it is impossible to get that rich without fucking over the poor. the image of taylor in the media is not real, she isn't the girl next door, she isn't your friend, she's an ultra rich celebrity who gets richer by pretending to be your buddy. once you've realized that, you're pretty much done
now, i definitely wouldn't recommend financially supporting her. if you're going to the eras tour don't go alone, be safe, wear earplugs(seriously this one is so important you dont want tinnitus believe me). i know there are a lot of different factors and ethics about the shows but as someone who a) hates live music cause im autistic and just end up overstimulated and b) was never in a financial situation where i could or even would buy eras tickets i feel very under qualified to tackle any of that so i'd recommend talking to someone else who knows about that.
to end, i'll just say piracy isn't theft if buying isn't owning snd there are guides out there so you can listen without paying her dime. sorry if this was incoherent, i am tired. have a good rest of your day/night/whatever time it is and please take care
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Text
I feel like it is only time I make a stoner fic🤗hope you enjoy!!
*tw*: use of marijuana, stoner thoughts(im so sorry😵‍💫), if there's any more pls lmk and I'll add them!
It was no secret amongst the school that sapnap smoked weed. He talked about, he posted on social media about ut, he even got caught once smoking it in the back parking lot.
So when my mind was desperate for a chill out moment, he was the perfect person to help. I messaged him in search of a good time.
Hey, do you think I could buy from you?
What are you looking for?
Quarter ounce
Meet me here
2848 hasbul drive
He set the date for tomorrow night at 6pm. I requested enough that I could use tomorrow as well as this weekend so when j went to the location, and saw his car I climbed in with the money.
"Hey you got the cash?" I nodded as I hand him the money in exchange for a green bag.
"Quarter ounce?" He nodded as I opened the door and returned to my vehicle. Before I could even open the door he was gone and my phone rang.
Let me know how you like it
I left the message opened and didn't bother with a reply as I got in my car and headed home.
Upon arriving I see that all the lights are off which is good because it means everyone's asleep. I soundlessly slip inside my room and pull out the bag along with my pipe. I proceed to pack it and grab my lighter.
The first hit always hits the hardest so I have to take a minute to not let my coughs get too loud.
After about 3 or 4 hits, I sit back for a minute and just stare at my lights which are colored red.
I wonder what it would feel like to be floating right now. I bet it would feel nice. I have to make sure to thank sapnap for getting me this weed.
Wow, sapnap is such a great guy, his hair is amazing, he's so fucking cute but I can't tell him that because he'd never feel the same way. I wonder what he's doing right now, I wonder if he's thinking of me.
As I continue to think about him, I just feel myself getting happier. I want to talk to him right now and be with him, I want him to be with me. He would make this experience so much better. I should call him and tell him.
I dont need to call him, I can see him right now, he's in the room with me. That's concerning how'd he get in here, oh shut up logic. Come here lover boy. And if that doesn't work.
*I was gonna wait til I was high to put genuine stoner thoughts but I have none and haven't smoked in a couple of days.*
The next day at school I'm pissed and it's known to everyone except a certain someone who can't keep his hands away from me.
"Hey, how'd you like the za?" I shoot him a side eye to which he furrows his brow.
"I bet you would know wouldn't you," I say as I shove past him.
"Why are you mad at me? I helped you out?" I scoff.
"Helped me out? Are you shitting me?" I turn my voice lower as I look around at on lookers. I grab his arm and pull him to the side of the hallway.
"You fucking laced it." His eyes go wide.
"What the fuck do you mean?" He asked bewildered.
"When I smoked it and started feeling it, all I saw was you. So what the fuck did you put in it?" He looks like he's seen a ghost or he's listening to someone speak gibberish.
"What do you mean all you saw was me?" He asks
"You, your face, your body, as if you were in the room next to me. And there was this weird feeling in my chest, my heart was pounding." He takes a breath, and then starts to... laugh.
I stare at him as if he's disappeared before my eyes.
"What the hell is so funny to you?" He chuckles a little before talking some calming breaths.
"Sorry, sorry, I'm done, I'm done" He coughs before continuing. I stare at him expectantly.
"I hate to inform you but thats not laced weed. You have a crush on me."
"Are you fucking stupid? I don't have a crush on you, you fucking laced that shit." He smirks before taking one step closer, making our bodies practically chest to chest.
"Its ok, I like you too. When you asked to buy from me I wasn't surprised but I was a little disappointed that that was all you wanted from me." I stare at him, shocked.
"No, i- I don't have- wait what? You like me?" He smiles and puts a hand on my hip.
"Yeah, I've liked you for a while and I've tried to flirt with you before." I think back to the math class I have with him.
"Wow, I'm an idiot." I look at him and he says nothing.
"You're supposed to disagree with me." He laughs.
"Sure thing, whatever you say." He smiles and we walk to class together.
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