#i dont even know if it counts as a terf post??? it was just like. fucking hell this site goes in circles

[sleepingfancies]

Ok if you can't figure out that ppl saying "actually I like men. Men are sexy and cool" is about their sexuality and not some pro-patriarchy statement then you need to log off fr

#personal #saw the worst post of my life as 'recommended for me' like bet #i dont even know if it counts as a terf post??? it was just like. fucking hell this site goes in circles #'i dont trust anyone who stands up for men or acts like im oppressing them by saying i want them all to die' do you hear yourself btw

[pastadoughie]

many people were confused about some of my previous posts, so for the sake of clarity i am condensing everything! tumblr has extremely transphobic moderation practices, often flagging completely innocent posts as explicit, solely for containing trans women in them or mentioning transgenderism. while letting untagged porn in sfw tags (ive literally seen porn tagged as "sfw agere") and blatent hatespeech, especially twards trans people (just look at the "gender critical" tag) go completely unchecked recently the CEO of tumblr had a big public hissyfit about people (rightfully) calling him transmysogenistic, going into random trans womens dms to harrass them, and saying that predstrogen saying she "hopes he explodes with hammers and then explodes again and hammers fly everywhere" is a death threat and saying he is calling the FBI on her (repeatedly misgendering her and calling her "it") and many bloggers, apon speaking out about it or even making harmless jokes (one trans woman posted a picture of a car and a hammer with the caption "reblog to scare matt" and got nuked for it) and many are very very angry (rightfully) about this whole affair and tumblr in general. if you would like to look into it i reccomend scrolling the "predstrogen" tag as she is the case most people are talking about at the moment. So, what can we do? this is clearly an ongoing issue, and, dispite having lost a lawsuit about their transphobic moderation in the past (see : https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21274288-tumblr-nycchr-settlement) its clearly not gonna stop with just user complaints, as staff members are perfectly content to just go scorched earth on users who even so much as lightly poke fun at them well if you want to help you should contact the human rights commision (i will give clear details further down) ! you dont have to be in the US, nor be an adult to file, and it only takes a few minutes. this is the best and most effective method to fix this, because it hits tumblr where it hurts. human rights acencies have a lot of legal and financial power and tumblr CAN NOT just ignore them, and given that this will be the seccond time this is happening, the commisions shouldnt be playing nice anymore eaither. its really important that AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE FILE, and with different examples! while maybe your case might not be enough to prop up a lawsuit on its own, we need to prove a general trend. so every little bit counts! to respond to another question abt this ive gotten, as for what exactly to report, you should a) write about an act of discrimination youve recieved on tumblr that was eaither administered by a staff member OR that staff refused to give adequate moderation action in for example : a terf posted some blatent hatespeech targeted twards you, and you reported them, and staff looked at the issue and refused to persecute it. example 2 : you were unfairly flagged, deleted, or otherwise punished by a staff member and you are queer ( AND the post they banned you for has some kind of tie to your gender, ex : a sfw transition progress photo ) OR b) if you have not personally recieved something like that, please look for other peoples stories (THEY SHOULDNT BE HARD TO FIND, within the last couple of hours trans people have been being banned LEFT AND RIGHT for trying to speak on this. i would reccomend checking some of the tags related to what happened with predstrogen) and you should describe that incident as best as possible (be sure to disclose that you are speaking for someone else, ideally you should tell the story of someone you know, if possible.) you can also mention any reports you have made twards people posting blatent hatespeech that, opon reveiwing tumblr refused to prosecute dispite it being very obviously against terms of service. just so nobody gets confused about the filing process, im laying it out in more plain languadge!!

first you should email the SF HRC (san francisco human rights commision), at [email protected] and say something along these lines :

Hello, I am [full name] from [country or state] and I am filing a complaint against Tumblr, witch is owned by the parent company Automattic Inc. located at 60 29th St, San Francisco, CA 94110.

Tumblr has had previous issues with the NYC DHR for their moderation being unfairly biased against trans women (see : https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21274288-tumblr-nycchr-settlement).

Despite a legally binding agreement with the NYC DHR, staff members still regularly harrass users based on their gender or sexual orientations. For example : on [date of most recent infraction] [describe incident] (if you are describing an incident that did not happen to you specifically, say something like) This incident involves the user [username] who I am not affiliated with (or/) who I am filing on behalf of.

I can be reached for further inquiries about this incident at [email you want to talk over] or [phone number you want to talk over]. (if you would like to be anonymous) However, In the event of legal prosecution against Automattic I would refer to be kept anonymous, where possible, in court proceedings. alternatively, you can also call the SF HRC at : 415-252-2500, you can use the above text as a starting point for this as well, next you want to fill out the form for the NYC DHR (new york city department of human rights) here : https://www.nyc.gov/site/cchr/about/report-discrimination.page for company you wanna put : Automattic and/or Tumblr for address you wanna put : 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003 for phone number you wanna put : [phone] and for category of discrimination you can put : Discriminatory harassment and basis of discrimination you can put : Gender; Gender identity you can then use a similar script on the written section of the form. when describing a specific incident, you should attach as many screenshots and links as possible! (for links, include both a live link and an archival link, so take a capture with the internet archive and have that as an alternative, incase a staff member gets petty.) this should only take a few minutes at most, and it helps alot! you can fill this out if you are a minor, and you dont have to be a us resident, please please take the time!!! and, just to clarify because there are many posts going around that are confused about this tumblr moved offices to san francisco recently, so their main HQ is at : 60 29th St, San Francisco, CA 94110 they DO still have an office in new york city, and thats where their PREVIOUS HQ was, the address is : 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003

#art #my art #mspaint #rowens liddol guys #mspaint animations #the beast speaks #important shit #transgender #trans #predstrogen

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

there is this Weird thing on social media of people being absolutely obsessed with phrasing re: trans issues, even when the person whos phrasing they dont like is pro-trans or trans themselves. and honestly as a trans person myself, id rather take a kind older cis person who still uses transvestite or transsexual but fully supports trans people than some random on the internet who spams hate messages because you didnt word something perfectly

a lot of the terms used today came after my time and I don’t really like using them because if I use them wrong or just clumsily I get babyqueers in my inbox calling me problematic.

I am glad language has evolved to the point it has so more people can accurately describe themselves if they choose, but at the end of the day it’s more important to me that a person is uplifting of the trans community than if they use the words right. Biased of me to think that way? Perhaps. But I do think this comes back to my opinions on the toxicity of infighting in the queer community. I don’t care if a lesbian would rather call herself a bulldyke, I do care if she is harming other lesbians in some way. Maybe when we get to a point trans people aren’t murdered on the street for existing we can start yelling at other trans people and acting like saying amab makes them a transmisogynist. We aren’t there yet. I genuinely do not care about this discourse at all because there is so much genuine transmisogyny from both TERFs and far right freaks that I cannot be assed to humor this really.

I’m sure I’ll have another call out post made, “watch out for owlvid! not only do they dare to HATE Purina Proplan Dog Food but they also used the term amab in a way I don’t like which obviously means they hate trans women and want them all dead!” or some such, but I really don’t care. I know what I stand for, and I think most people who follow me have figured that out as well. If everyone decides it best to shun me for my usage of amab then that’s their choice. I don’t track my follower count. If my wording makes anyone here uncomfortable they are free to leave.

Or be obnoxious in my inbox I suppose. I don’t actually mind that either.

[quenthel]

so many people will start to argue with reactionaries and at a point i do get it bc ppl esp ppl who care about others even a little bit give them that much credit like oh they simply not know the logical and scientific answers to why x and y are bad and x and y are incorrect or lies. and sure some people who do not think too deeply about the given issue will maybe change their mind and they might learn something but as soon as you see a person who is *in it* then you cant convince them using any kind of reasoning that they are wrong. Because they know its bullshit and wrong. No amount of data or numbers or whatever the most objective method of the time might be will convince them to accept the truth because they know its lies.

Like so many ppl argue with people being weirdos about who uses what bathroom but the fact is that normal people simply dont give a shit and people who do do because they have an agenda. And you cant argue with people like that using only data and logic you have to deconstruct that agenda and their argument and find out what they want actually and THEN maybe you can have a good discursive tool to get to them but EVEN THEN its just futile.

Like sure arguing against whatever weirdo online can be addictive and fun I guess but debunking the claims of terfs etc. will never lead anywhere because at least the ones who have a bigger brain than the size if a walnut know that they are in the wrong completely. And sure you can argue about the patriarchal structure of science here (true) or you can critique what counts as objective knowledge (also very worthwhile) but I never see people actually get to the heart of the issue: the agendas and ideologies. THAT’S what people should be deconstructing but thats more difficult than sui baiting weirdos or calling them or posting abt how terfs need to fuck off. Like sure they do and their ideology is poisonous but do you know why? Do you know exactly where their reasoning falls apart? Do you know why it is harmful and for whom?

#quenthel special #a lot of people are very performative when it comes to any kind of activism #i get it its exhausting but also do better lol #and by god read books... even ones you dont agree with so you can see how people you hate think if you can bear it #dont trigger yourself or cause yourself harm ofc have your own best interest at heart always but holy shit

[neechees]

I know jkr is a terf but how is she a racist

There have been like multiple posts detailing why extensively over the years & I'm surprised if you apparently haven't come upon any at all & google is a thing but you're lucky because my hatred of JKR is big so I'll give you a short rundown fueled by this hatred. Also I might've forgotten something but in short:

Just. The whole thing with the muddle/pureblood thing. This is reminiscent of white supremacy + antisemitism & how they tend to view Poc, mixed race, & Jewish people, but when asked to address the (correct) accusations & criticisms of racism in Harry Potter, JKR essentially said "well its just a book, I don't think its going to have a big effect on anything IF there's racism in it" (thus dodging the question, didn't actually address the racism in her books, & was comfortable with making wizard racists for her hyper popular shitty series but can't be bothered to talk about its racism?)

The fucking. Goblin race that run the banks?? That's like textbook antisemitism?

Asian people have pointed out discomfort with her turning Nagini into an Asian (Indonesian I believe?) Woman who can transform into a snake, played by Claudia Kim, who then becomes an evil white dude's eternal servant & his horcrux

Gave her Chinese character 2 Korean Surnames instead of a Chinese one

Made an entire race of creatures that are slaves, like being slaves, the ones that dont are considered weird, & Hermione was considered a nuisance & embarrassing for trying to change their situation (even worse when you consider one vers of Hermione is Black, in the musical I believe?)

Thought Indigenous kids + magic/spirituality + a boarding school was somehow a good combination & not at all a bad idea (like UHHHH HELLO? RESIDENTIAL & INDIAN BOARDING SCHOOLS?? Our kids were literally being sent to those to be assimilated specifically FOR our spirituality & "magic" (or "devil worship" as it was called") & this literally just clashes wish oyr actual hustory, doesn't make any sense, & is disrespectful. Native kids today STILL have trouble in school bc of how racist the education system is & Natives' trauma with mandatory schooling)

The trailer for said American magic school spinoff livermony shows two Native girls being burned alive for practising their spirituality

Used Native spirits as "houses" analogous for Hogwarts, which she had absolutely no business doing (and oh btw these spirits are also subservient to the white colonizers who founded the school) & there's also the use of sk!walkers because of course there is

Her newest shitty (violently transmisogynist) book features a serial killer who dresses as a woman as a disguise while killing in. A headscarf. She's adding Islamophobia to her list of bigotry I guess

Fantastic Beasts is suspiciously white & not that diverse despite being set in 1920''s Harlem, New York. Her response to being called out was, quote, "Everyone in fantasticbeasts is not white." (Like. 4 poc total in the entire movie where 3 of them are extras doesn't count)

In general this cunt literally dodges any and all criticisms of her racism while maintaining a mask of progressiveness. Oh and being a t/erf automatically makes you racist btw

& there's probably more shit that I don't know about but yeah JKR can eat shit & die.

#antisemitism tw #Islamophobia tw #racism tw #harry potter tw

[starwolf-has-moved]

Please read before you follow!

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They/them, please! She/her or he/him if we're friends.

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On that point, nsfw blogs if i think youre a porn bot you'll probably be blocked.... Sorry

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I mostly reblog posts, but my oc posts are tagged #not a reblog. Posts where I talk are tagged with #star talks, and posts where I talk in the tags are tagged #tag talks. Asks are tagged #got an ask. Posts that are not queued are tagged #not q. I also tag any art that is reblogged on main with #art. On the rare occasion i post or reblog something about/featuring a ship, its tagged #not to be shippy on main but. All of my posts are fine to reblog unless i tag them with #dont reblog.

Other things i try to tag: anything that tells you ar asks you to reblog a post (even posts that are like "reblog to give the person you reblogged from [x]" as: #reblog bait, #rb bait, #reblog bait tw, #rb bait tw. Long posts: #long post, #long post tw, and occasionally #long post cw, hospital and medical imagery as: #hospital imagery tw, #medical imagery tw, death mentions, animal death mentions, graphic gore or graphic descriptions of violence etc., eyestrain and flashing gifs, graphic or semi-graphic depictuons of abuse, animal harm, severe racism and transphobia etc.

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This post will be edited as the dni changes/new info is added

#star talks #not a reblog #pinned post

[zanathan-aisling]

terf bullshit below the cut (not like. sharing particularly heinous shit or anything they just live on fucking mars and i need to express my bafflement SOMEWHERE) (also when i get like this i resort to second-person talking at the person whose weird shit i’m finding... shitty, so if you don’t like reading “you” in the context of horrifyingly bigoted to the point of being a wierd surrealist cartoon character then that fair lol) 

saw this fucking paragraph in the posts notes, and like.

A) Why are you posting that. Unprompted. Like i get that the spirit of the reblog is tinged by you yourself reblogging the original post from a different terf, but. I. Ok this actually segues into the actual shit.

B) You.... the only context this statement has any reasoning in is if yer reblogging the meme and its “he would not fucking say that” out of some sort of allegiance to *cartman*. I MAY NOT HAVE EVER FUCKING GONE NEAR SOUTH PARK MYSELF BUT LIKE....?????? I *get* that its just the trannies being silly claiming characters that would obviously fucking hate us but any fucking rational mind would still fucking observe that in taking the angle of treating *that* as the point of the post, no matter how silly, it is implicitly siding with the fucking.... .. with CARTMAN????? FEMINIST ICON ERIC(?) CARTMAN.

C) “surprised they haven’t tried to cancel it yet” ok regardless of who “they” is, pretty much any “they” has in fact actively (and laudably) attempted to “cancel” south park. its a fucking universal constant. the unobstructed sky of earth is blue during the day, the majority of surviving bird species fly, and X demographic has had a vocal segment thereof attempt to “cancel” south park. Do you literally live 24/7 with your head up a cows anus because if *not* then....?!?!?!??!!? Were you born in the last five years??? It’s *south park*. It was the GTA of cartoons controversy-wise. JFC. 

D) “but the showrunners are men so of course they wouldn’t” I... ok. I’m. 

D1) Trying. TO... Think. About. That. In a logical *enough* way to like. Actually argue. Holy shit. UM. Ok. Attempted show/movie/book cancellations that i can think of: south park (run by men). Uh. Game of Thrones i *guess*?????? (Run by i dont fucking know). The 100 after whatsherface got lesbian murdered (developed by a man). Harry Potter, supposedly, i mean it was basically over when the backlash started to reach “mainstream” influence (written by a racist antisemitic homophobic *lesbophobic* fatphobic sack of trash but the films were directed *exclusively* by men and produced exclusively by men until JKR got involved herself in the last couple). Twelve Forever??? But like, the “female” responsible for the cancelling aspects of that discourse was a literal fucking pedophile sex creep so that’d be fucking weird and self-incriminating for even a TERF to defend. UM. Hm. Ok we’re talking specifically backlash from the tranny gendertrender brigade so can’t count more popular and dangerous nerd outrages. So like, no gamergate targets which usually WERE people of color and queer people and women. Oh whoops I mentioned categories of people besides womyn who are oppressed for reasons other than femininity uh oh intersectionality I Am Fucking Done With This Segment I Just Have No Fucking Clue What Precedent This Fucker Is Referring To

D2) WHY DO YOU THINK TRANNIES ARE GONNA BE OUTRAGED ABOUT SOUTH PARK BEING A TRANSPHOBIC PIECE OF *SHIT* (IN FAR MORE DIRECT WAYS THAN JUST DOING HORRID CHARICATURES OF SHITTY TRANS CELEBRITIES MIGHT I ADD) BUT THEN SIT BACK AND REALIZE “OH WAIT THE CREATORS OF THIS HAVE DICKS! THEY ARE OUR ALLIES” WHEN TRANS WOMEN ARE LITERALLY SUBJECT TO LITERAL PHYSICAL VIOLENCE BY CIS MEN NOT JUST IN REAL LIFE BUT, IN WHAT ‘YOU’ (apologies for egregious misuse of second-person, i do not mean to insult the reader by saying they are a transmisogynist lghfddfsg;ldfg) ACTUALLY GO ON ABOUT CONSTANTLY, OUR ~DELUDED VICTIM COMPLEX NARRATIVES~ OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. ITs. Literally our wholeass thing. Terfs are dangerous to trans women (and lesbians and trans men and nonbinary people and bi people and pretty much any racial or ethnic minority) in their cultural and political efforts and that factors into trans “narratives” but to act like prominent transfeminine narratives aren’t centered around victimhood under “”””””male”””””” violence is just like....., what the fuck are you even *smoking*. 

#transmisogyny #t slur #its just. so much. #EDIT: THE T SLUR IS THE TRANSMISOGYNISTIC ONE THAT I AM RECLAIMING. I AM NOT CLALLING TER FHG A SLUR

[charcolor]

oh and I realized you draw canonically pale characters with dark skin while being white.... so many people of color have mentioned this makes them uncomfortable, have you at least asked any if they're ok with that??? it's not for you to do. if you want to support black/otherwise dark skinned people then dont do something they say makes them uncomfortable. I'm not trying to say "changing characters skin color bad1!!1!!" I'm saying that that's exclusively for dark skinned people to do because they're the ones affected by racism, not you.

(sorry for the long response!)

well, i'm not responding to your first ask because it seems like bullshit. i don't remember directly comparing cryptobros to nazis and terfs, i may have referred to them both as cultlike but that's it. as for the voca-p ww2 song series thing, i don't think i ever directly called them problematic or even mentioned them by name. you can look in the notes of that post for more detail about it.

as for drawing characters with dark skin, i'd assume you're referring to vocaloids gumi, maika, the kagamines and megurine luka. this is something i've thought about too. when i was in my early teens i just liked the idea of drawing them (except maika) with darker skin. a few years later i saw noririn (maika's illustrator) draw maika in what she referred to as a traditional brazilian dress and i thought it was a good idea to depict maika as an indigenous brazilian girl.

i know now it's not really my place to do that. when i drew matching icons for me and my girlfriend, i consciously drew gumi with her canon skin tone because she is also white and i didn't want to sort of, implicitly encourage her to racefake. my justification was that this wasn't my specific depiction of gumi.

i have thought in recent years that it might be better to stop drawing these characters this way, even though no one else has ever confronted me about it. i honestly don't think i've seen people of color say drawing characters with dark skin is bad, though i have seen people say making edits of a character (i.e. taking a screenshot/official illustration of a character and editing it) to be a different race when it's not your race is weird. i'm not saying no dark skinned person of color has ever said that about drawing characters (i mean, you're right here. it's probably fair to assume you're a person of color).

the reason i've kept doing it though is because, at this point this is how i've always drawn/depicted those characters. i feel like it would be some kind of insulting to suddenly start drawing them pale. i feel like i would be making an implicit statement of "drawing dark skinned people was just a phase, drawing characters with pale skin will show that i have developed."

if it helps, i have not STARTED drawing characters with skin darker than canon since i was a teenager, only continued what i already had. (i did draw art of kasane teto with dark skin but that was gift art for a friend (who is a POC) and i was specifically referencing his design of teto so i don't think that counts.)

i'd appreciate other people's input on whether i should stop drawing those vocaloids this way. mostly just because this is an anonymous message and there is a chance (though i don't think it's likely) that you're white too.

[lesbiradshaw]

Genuinely interested in what you think about Bucky being perceived as female-coded in some parts of the fandom. I read that thread years ago and agreed with because it sounded logical, but now I'm not so sure. Recently found out about the existence of this Tony Stark meta essay called "Tony Stark as the most female-coded superhero" and they use the same arguments: loss of agency, playing the damsel in distress role more often than their counterpart, etc. I can't take "fm-coded" seriously anymore

oh boy ...

idk how long this will end up but to preface whatever we do end up with: 1) im a nonbinary lesbian so my perception on what it means to be a woman and femininity in general is not going to be what a lot of other peoples is and 2) im a few months out from getting a degree in gender studies. take that for what you will. no i will not be arguing about this in my inbox.

to be frank, in my opinion, bucky being female coded is bullshit. not only is it bullshit, i have seen it used as a weapon by so many white women and terfs that even if it were true, i wouldnt care! whoever came up with the term “woobify” (which i have most often seen used in reference to how tony stark is treated) needs to tell bucky stans that they aren’t exempt. a lot of them see bucky being a victim as something that needs a continuation into every other part of his life, hence why he’s so often put into these weird dynamics with his ships and given traits he’s never displayed on screen.

i keep thinking of disclaimers to make in anticipation of people coming to my inbox crying so here’s another: if you are a woman or someone who feels a close connection to certain parts of womanhood, me saying bucky isnt woman coded in no way takes away from you identifying with him or parts of his story. that is personal. a woman’s personal relation to him is not reliant on “woman coding” as i’ve seen a lot of white women and terfs suggest, not does it strengthen the existence of such coding. coding is created within the original media, not within the fandom.

i also just realized ive been using the term woman coded rather than female coded, but i think subconsciously there is a reason for that that ties into one of my main points pretty well: the mcu stan’s definition of “female” coding relies on stereotypes, not about female roles, but about what it means in their opinion to be a woman. the issue with this is they take traits they think only exist in (cishet) women and use them to deem these (cishet) male characters as woman coded when in fact these traits are not exclusive to women and enforce weird standards upon people who are women that might not be cis or het or share these traits!

tony stark being short and bucky having long hair is not what would make them woman coded. bucky being rescued by a man while woozy is not what would make him woman coded. bucky being submissive to pierce when LITERALLY BEING BRAINWASHED is not what would make him woman coded. and perhaps a harsh wake up call: bucky’s story hinging around loss of agency issues and trauma in no way shape or form is what would make him woman coded. does it perhaps make him easier for many women to relate to? yes. but is this something exclusive to women? no. a vast majority of trauma victims are going to relate to him, and chalking up trauma to being something female makes me feel really funny.

i know exactly what thread youre talking about lmfao and its right up there on my shit list next to the childlike bucky post. theyre actually very similar now that i think about it ... but anyways. now that ive listed my woes about what doesnt make a character woman coded, what actually would! AND HERE IS WHERE WE GET INTO AN ACTUAL CASE OF WOMAN CODING! mr prequel series anakin skywalker aka my shakespearean downfall dilf. why is he seen as a valid example of woman coding? i will tell you.

the thing about woman coding is that its meant to subvert heteronormative tropes while remaining self aware of that to exploit and emphasize the change. DO YOU HEAR ME? SELF AWARE! anakin is given many of these stupid stereotypical traits i mentioned before, but they arent reliant on physical appearance at all. they are reliant on roles. padme is the levelheaded senate leader, the one with power and stability, while anakin is hotheaded and frankly a bit whimsical while he struggles for his own type of power and control. another classic example of woman coding (which i actually wrote a paper on last semester in my men and masculinities class) is heathcliff from wuthering heights, whose counterpart to his coding is cathy. both men have that whimsicality in common that contrasts heavily with how we would expect them to act. bucky does not act like them at all.

the reason that this is different from bucky and steve’s ‘damsel in distress’ argument is the self awareness i mentioned before. not to mention the weird heteronormative standards being applied as requirements for their gay relationship to be seen as valid because it “fits the narrative” but .. anyways.

anakin and heathcliff both have their subverted traits played up in a way that shows off how ridiculous the women usually written in their roles are forced to act. its tongue in cheek, because woman coding is not only about individual traits, but about how the character interacts with the story because of this as a whole. bucky is often seen as woman coded because he is put into these situations where he is “rescued” by someone that half his stans see as his love interest (steve my baby im sorry) when hes really only rescued maybe twice? at azzano and from the water when the helicopter crashed. only one of those is a real damsel in distress situation. all of the others are cases where hes fighting his own way out ????? bucky doesnt just sit around waiting for a “real man” to get off his ass as that post suggested but i digress.

anyways. mcu stans lack any self awareness that would be required even if bucky and tony were woman coded. calling them woman coded does not count as self awareness! the real self awareness comes with recognizing that woman coding doesnt actually make these characters women and it doesnt mean they forever belong in these “female” roles. mcu stans take the stereotypes they pick out at face value and use them to say “look! bucky is a bottom!” or to continue taking away his agency by ignoring all of his other actions and traits that dont fit in to this mold theyve made around the idea that he needs a man to save him or boss him around. his story as a whole is the only thing that would make him woman coded and seeing as there is no self awareness of this shown, no attempts to subvert, he displays little to no traditionally feminine traits, and loss of agency on its own is not something that only applies to women ...

in short: in my opinion, bucky is not woman coded. mcu stans just like rolling with stereotypes that rely around cis bodies and straight relationships. the end.

#oh also woman coding does not make a mape character trans lmfaoooooo #thats frankly just insulting #trans men are not men with feminine traits please for the love of god shut up #anyways this is my opinion and you dont have to agree but cis people arent allowed to argue with me

[ceasarslegion]

This poem's really stuck with me since I first read it, and unfortunately I can't find it right now, but it goes something like "the child expects the world to be fair and just, and gets upset when it is not. And the child is right." Obviously, I'm super paraphrasing it, but I can't dig it up for the life of me right now

And this other concept has really stuck with me, as well. When I was watching Abigail Thorn's coming out video, Rhys talked about how you are simultaneously every past version of yourself at once, including your child self.

I've been getting a lot more targeted harassment since around when Elliot Page came out. Obviously, it's not his fault at all, it's the TERFs and run of the mill transphobes and the politicians screaming trans panic who took that and ran with it, which is disgusting and deplorable how they turned something so amazing for transmascs like me into another rehash of "wE'rE lOsInG aLl OuR dAuGhTeRs!!"

I mean, shit. It wasn't even that long ago when that stupid transphobic book came out that was titled something like "the gender panic plagueing our daughters" or whatever the fuck.

Plus there's so much community infighting lately because so many of y'all really do view oppression as a pokemon type damage chart instead of realizing that multiple things can be true at once, ie transfems and transmascs are both oppressed in different ways, so stop acting like either wanting recognition is ever taking anything away from the other. Other oppressed people are not your goddamn enemy

I don't know, I just... it's not even all the big things that are getting to me lately. It's the little things. Like when I've made it clear multiple times that I'm not comfortable being referred to as anything feminine, even slang. I try to be polite about it, say "please don't call me queen, or girl, or sis, it makes me very uncomfortable because of how hard I've fought to have my masculinity recognized" and people take it personally. People act like I'm calling femininity a bad thing, or that I'm making a totally unrealistic expectation of them, when I just said that I, personally, don't like this thing, so please don't do it to me, personally.

I think a good example would be a while back. I've gone by the nickname Dames since I first picked my name. It came pretty naturally from my high school friends, and I thought it was nice, I liked it, so I naturally kept it IRL and tagged all my personal posts with it. And evidentally my longer followers like it too, because I always get asks where people refer to me as Dames. That's me to all of you, right? It's a major indicator of the guy behind this weird internet facade tens of thousands of y'all saw some value in following. And good on him for only having followers on the one social media where that counts absolutely jack shit for, am I right?

I'm bound to get anon hate with numbers like that, it's expected, I'm not usually vexed by it. 9/10 times I just block and move on or find a way to make it funny, but a while back I got one that really kinda... stung. Mostly because it felt so targeted. Like, the others are usually just people trying to tell me what to post on my own blog or some shit about how my latest shitpost making the rounds sucks, but no one's ever gone for the nickname before this person. Not a single anon has ever told me that my nickname is shit, especially not with such targeted phrasing as "girl if you dont STOP calling yourself dames i refuse". I ended up making fun of them on here if y'all were here for it but it really kinda got to me in reality.

And I know what most people would say: "dont feed the trolls" "dont engage" "just block and move on" but I do have a few criticisms of that mentality. For one, it puts the onus on the person getting harassed to be the bigger person without ever addressing why the internet makes these people feel like this shit is acceptable, or how to fix that. To be clear, I don't know how to fix it, I just know it's a serious problem that disproportionately affects marginalized people online, especially those of us who have a bit of a platform to speak of and are therefore more visible, so it should be discussed more instead of just chalking it up to the lawless internet.

Second, on a more individual level, what the fuck has to be wrong with someone to actively go and figure out whats important to someone's sense of identity and then shit on it to them? I assume it was to get a rise out of me which I didn't really give them in the moment before I blocked them, but the total lack of acknowledgement of another person and the cold, calculating callousness is what does it for me.

I still go by Dames, but sometimes it gets to me. Like what if it is stupid? What if everyone does hate it? I didn't have these thoughts before I got that targeted harassment for no real reason than existing in a way this person found worthy of ridicule.

I think it goes back to what I was talking about before. The child part of me remembers how strong his sense of morality was, and how angry and betrayed he felt when things were unfair or unjust, or people were shitty to each other for no reason. He expects people to be better, to acknowledge that other people are people and to respect each other even on a platform as lawless as the internet. He's the part of me that's so hurt when this thing happens. And others always tell him that he's just naive, he shouldn't have responded, don't feed the trolls, etc etc without ever asking WHY this environment exists in the first place. It's not his fault for being hurt, that's a natural reaction, it's the bully's fault for kicking someone who's been systemically downed in one of the few places he comes for refuge and feels validated by.

The child is angry, the child says that people should be just and the world should be fair, and people say that the child is naive, but the child is right.

#my thoughts are very jumbled tonight i wanted to get them down somewhere #so thats what this is #shut up dames

[alukaforyou]

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

#.txt

[koncreates]

this is a real question and not trying to be mocking, feel free to not post if u dont want and discourse ((if this counts as it)) but is it transphobic to not want to date//have a sexual relationship a, lets say a transwomen, while being a lesbian because youre not... attracted to dick? if that makes sense? not that youre denying shes a women, but u dont like dick? im sorry if this is wrong. im just wondering

I am extremely not an authority on this since I neither have a penis nor am a lesbian, and I will be honest that this ask sounds a fuckton like bait to get me to say something transphobic or lesbophobic.  But, like a fool hoping that it is a genuine question and giving you the benefit of the doubt, I’m going to do my level best to answer it for you!

Just to set the record straight: i’m a transmasc dude who does not experience sexual attraction or desire, in a relationship with a nonbinary person who DOES experience sexual attraction and desire.  While that’s... almost the exact opposite of what you’re asking about, I think there’s potential that i can offer a little insight.  

First of all: People should be romantically (i.e. wanting to date, if you experience romantic attraction) people to you first and foremost, not genitals.  Personality traits and hobbies and quirks and favorite colors and the sound of a laugh and the look of a smile, not a penis or vagina.

If you meet a girl and you like to hang out with her, and want to date her, but learn she is transgender and immediately recoil and lose all the attraction or positive feeling you had for her based on her personality, looks, interests, ect before knowing intimate details such as her genitalia or medical history, then yes, I would say that is transphobic. (Bolded for ease of TLDR)  

She wasn’t fooling you with being trans.  You were attracted to her just the same way you would be attracted to a cis person.  The fact that she didn’t start a conversation with “Hello, I have a penis actually” is exactly the same as how you don’t start conversations with “Hello, I don’t shave my pubic hair actually” or “Hello, I have a genetic predisposition to strokes from my mother’s side of the family.”  It is intimate information that you don’t usually share unless you are close with someone and believe you can trust them.  

HOWEVER.  The act alone of not wanting to have sex with a penis does not make you transphobic.  I will talk more on this a bit further down.

Now here’s a pitfall I think people fall in to a lot: If you find someone unattractive because of their looks, personality, politics, or whatever reason you are not attracted to them, you aren’t required to date them.  You don’t have to give a reason why you don’t want to date them, and it’s generally seen as the right thing to do that if someone who does not fit your standards of attractive asks you out, you politely turn them down.  You should never feel pressured into any relationship, and if anyone hounds you for an answer as to why you don’t want to date, that’s on them.  If you don’t know someone/don’t like their personality/don’t feel romantically attracted to them, you are not required to date them!  

Nobody is required to find any one thing attractive, but boiling a person’s entire identity down to what is in their pants is in essence dehumanizing.  An intersex girl might have a dick as well, would you feel the same way when you found out, or is it the transgender title that gets to you?  I’m not trying to be accusatory, but it’s a very important factor to think about.

If your only reason to not date someone is “she’s trans” it does still make you transphobic.  If this is the case, I really encourage you to think about why exactly you believe this.  If, according to all your other standards, you would date her, why does her being transgender matter to you?

From the letter of your ask, it sounds like you would be fine dating a girl if she had bottom surgery.  That’s intimate knowledge that you would probably only learn after dating her for a while or at the very least being friends with her for longer.  Would her status of having had surgery or not having had surgery affect your feelings for her?  I’m not saying that she would or should keep being trans a secret from you for a long time during dating, but the main takeaway here is “Would you feel revolted immediately just by hearing her say she was trans?  Would you be constantly wondering about if she had or hadn’t gotten surgery?”

I Hope this next section will be very helpful to answering your question and hopefully easing some of your fears about dating a trans person.

There is a lot more to dating than having sex, and there’s a lot more to sex than genital on genital contact!  You can go on dates and can enjoy each other’s company, you can have long talks and get sentimental, you can go out to dinner and watch lights on the water by the beach.  There is plenty to a relationship that is not sexual, and even without being asexual I think it’s an important thing to make sure you don’t form a relationship souly on the basis of sexual actions.

With that being said, there are plenty of sexual things you can do that don’t require penis-in-vagina contact?  If her penis makes you uncomfortable by existing (and if she’s dysphoric, she might feel similarly), it’s a conversation that you should have when you get to that point in your relationship.  If after dating her for a while yall decide to have sex, you should discuss ways that don’t involve penetration and don’t involve you giving her oral and, just like in any other relationship, it’s important to express boundaries.  You can figure out toys that you enjoy using on her, you can find toys you enjoy when she uses on you.  You can figure out plenty of ways to satisfy each other that do not involve touching her penis and either making you uncomfortable or her dysphoric.  It just takes communication.  

Most trans people (including myself) are ready and open for conversations like this from our significant others.  We want happy relationships, and we know that requires communication.  I don’t think your girlfriend is going to react to you saying “I’m uncomfortable with the idea of penetration/touching your penis” with rage and vitriol.  She shouldn’t, in fact.  It’s the same as if I said to my partner “I’m uncomfortable with the idea of you eating me out”.  It’s a boundary that you should share and that she should listen to.  

If you’ve been together for (however long it takes you to want to sleep with someone you date) you should both be comfortable enough with each other to act like the adults you are and have a conversation with one another.  

If any transwomen following me have something to add on or correct me on, please feel free.  Like I said, I’m a transman, and my experiences are vastly different from what theirs might be.  I am absolutely not a scholarly source to get information from.  I’m just, quite literally, some guy.  These are just my opinions based on what I’ve seen said by transwomen and lesbians.  To get a better perspective on this, you should really find a transwoman to ask off anon.

I tried to be general and think about this from the perspective of if it were “My boyfriend is uncomfortable with me having a vagina”, but there is a lot of room for error there as well.  So again, transwomen and NB people with dicks and trans lesbians and cis lesbians with trans girlfriends please feel free to add on your take and personal perspective!!

Also TERFs/SWERFs/RADFEM/Transphobes do NOT fucking touch this post or get blocked on sight.

Trumeds should also watch their step because i do not take kindly to your exclusion.

#asks #anons #lgbt #trans #transphobia #cw #transphobic #ask to tag #kizza speaks #long post #anonymous

[oscar-mildes]

elvira you know I always see what you're hiding in the tags,, I will always read it if you answer all of them abhsjdbs

nev you asked for this and im going to go thru with it bc im an oversharing idiot like oh you asked me how’s the weather i will tell you about all my trauma instead :D 

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? i’m cis yo i’m she/her. i’m biromantic ace. thats the label i would put on it i guess. i really just refer to myself as gay bc i like pretty boys who look like girls and pretty girls and pretty nb and queer people and basically i just like pretty people ajsfbjf

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? theres no story to it. no epiphany or realization. i just always was ok with thinking that girls were pretty and that gay people are cool and it wasnt until recent years that i was like oH SHIT AM I GAY

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? no i guess bc i’m a girl and id as a girl and have a very obvious girl body

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? i guess my best friend. we’re both very ok with gay shit and we just always made comments about pretty girls and now we’re both pretty gay. i like my big tiddie anime girls and she likes her pretty kpop girl bands

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? i’ve only “come out” to some of my friends. i would NEVER in my LIFE even imagine telling my mom i like girls. shes homophobic Like That

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? uhh see above. my mom, stepdad, family members are all homophobic. hispanics in general are Like That rip. i think my dad would be the most ok with it but he lives in mexico and i dont talk to him often anyway. doesnt matter

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? i hate when people ask me about the ace part. like they have a bigger problem about my not wanting to have sex over the liking girls part tbh. sometimes it’s difficult for me to even describe where i am on the ace spectrum. it’s honestly the more difficult part 

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. basic nerd. you know those fics like “she dressed in a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and all star converse” yea that she is me

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ajkfj this is a good question and canon wise i love Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish, Uenoyama and Mafuyu from Given, Nezumi and Shion from No. 6, and Simon and Baz from Carry On. Not canon i love Kurama and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, Izuku and Todoroki from My Hero Academia, and Inosuke and Tanjiro from Demon Slayer. Note how most of them are anime i

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont really wear any bc im lazy. if you like it you do you but idrc for it? except for lipstick i LOVE lipstick i have all the colors. i wear it so it distracts people from the rest of my face

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? ...no

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? i live in the south so ive heard tons of shit talk about gay people. i dont really have any that stand out. my mom just likes to say that we’re going to hell :D so let’s give em a show ay

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? i guess i like how we find solidarity in each other just bc we’re not straight. most of the lgbt+ folks i know are pretty chill about everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? terfs but they dont count

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? i live in a small town and i could never sneak out of my house for that bc i still live with my mom so no

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? theres so many big celebrities now that id as lgbt+ but im going old school and loving my man, my tumblr url namesake mr Oscar Wilde. my man got put in jail for sodomy 

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? lmao never bc im mean, ugly, and terrible at talking to people irl. i had a bf in middle school? but bc i was 12 i dont count it 

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Carry On and the sequel Wayward Son. (very anxiously waiting for book 3 Anyway the Wind Blows come on Rainbow Rowell)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? for being gay? no. bc im not really out. ive faced discrimination for being a brown woman tho :)))

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? yall i love gay anime: Given, Banana Fish, No. 6, Yuri on Ice yeee. i dont really watch tv with real people but i think that Brooklyn 99 does a very good job with Holt and Rosa yall im love Rosa

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? um idk i love u nev so you count right @why-do-you-pick-flowers

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? for a while everyone was mad as hell about “im gay for ___” and idk im gay for everything so thats a “slur” i use for myself

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? ive never gone omg i’d probably be intimidated as hell like i have a lot of problems just existing so to be existing around very flamboyant and extravagant people like that makes me break into a nervous sweat

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? ive always felt like a girl even tho my mom always said “oh you like boy things??? you should have been born a boy” but like, your likes and dislike dont determine your gender. i like “boy” things and “dress like a boy” but i dont FEEL like a boy. ive never had any desire to become a boy or id as a boy. gender is a social construct fuck society

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? i have a very complicated relationship with children. babies are ugly and toddlers are annoying but i feel like if i had children i would love them obviously because theyre mine. this is gonna be a weird analogy but like i dislike cats. BUT  i have cats. and i love the fuck outta them. so i feel like thatd be me with kids. but im ace so like.... who would even have kids with me. i could not. pregnancy seems like a hassle and adoption is... i have thoughts on that but thats for a different post. also i can see myself being married and not having children OR having kids without a spouse. theres just something complicated about having both??? maybe im just fucked in the head idk bro

What identity advice would you give your younger self? you dont hate girls you like them, dumbass

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? fuck gender roles. get pegged, bros. i also have a very specific dynamic if i ever got into a relationship (which you know. wont happen) but like if i dated a guy i feel like i’d be very top. a MAN telling ME what to do??? fuck that. but if i dated a pretty girl??? top me pls

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? i think ive already said too much oh god someone is gonna look at this and be like what the FUCK but like lmao dont be afraid to ask me i apparently have no shame

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? it’s scary at first because you think “im not normal” but like pray tell me what is normal. do what makes you happy. fuck society

Why are proud to be lgbt+? i’m comfortable with the people i like. i might not be very confident and i have depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, probs adhd or ocd idfk but at least i know if i see a pretty girl or smth im gonna be like wow that girl is pretty and have no bad thoughts about it. it’s just how it be. after a lot of dissecting my past behavior, ive always been this way. you cant change who you are. just accept it

#asks #nev you asked for this #oversharing??? me??? never #lgbt stuff #im gay yall

[suolainensilakka-fr]

(A much more serious non-fr post today, I know, it's not exactly something I wanna be posting either but it's important. I'll be tagging any future heavier non-fr posts as #serious / if you're just here to have a good time like I am and would rather not have to see text talking about emotionally heavier stuff. It's ok, I understand and can relate.)

Alright. I know that the creeps who interact with random posts of mine that float up in search results arent gonna see my DNI list, or probably even read it even if they did see it, but I'm still incredibly fucking tired of having to look at my notifications and seeing someone with a word I shall not name here right there as the first word of their url who straight up posts racist and transphobic /pol memes and uncensored horny anime ass, among probably other equally awful things that I didn't have the stomach to dig further for.

If you cretins who are reading this post think for a single fleeting second that my content and my dragons are meant for you to look at and enjoy, kindly fuck off and maybe trip on a rock on your way out. I literally dont give a single solitary shit if this sounds "too aggressive" or whatever bullshit - I'm actually holding back a lot more expletives that I dare not say in case tumblr staff looks at this post and decides to nuke my account from orbit - but just know that I, personally, loathe your guts and don't want you anywhere near me or my posts.

So, one more time, loud and clear: TERFS, SWERFS, transmeds/truscum/any and all other transphobes, LGBT+phobes, racists/antisemites/islamophobes et cetera, MAPS/MAP supporters, "anti-antis" or anyone who supports or consumes/creates abuse/noncon/incest/cp or anything similar (yes, all of it counts even if it's fictional or "aged up" or an AU, fuck off) have no rights and don't belong here.

#salty speaks #not fr #serious / #ask to tag / #i woke up to look at my notes and im already tired. god #if anyone needs me to tag anything here please shoot me an ask!

[explosivepies]

i dont wanna awaken any kind of discourse, ok?

i'm on tiktok a lot, and end up following/enjoying content made by queer people most of the time. like even the people i wouldn't have thought, are queer. this brings with it all of the awesome trans people on there, naturally. and so many trans people talk about gender (in really interesting ways and i love that for them). it has made me think about myself a lot, because for years i've been saying idk what my sexuality is (now i'm saying bi) but i'm absolutely sure im a woman.

im a woman who will buy "men's" clothes if i like anything about them (such as pockets). who is sort of "gender non-comforming" on some days - other days i'm all for pink and cute and soft, but when i'm feeling lazy, i end up "masculine", and have been told a few times that oh i have masculine vibes, or really strong masculine energy, and my mother's way of understanding/accepting my attraction to women was "well, G0d might make a female body with a male soul" and i'd never been so insulted in my life.

but i am still convinced i am a woman. i would not feel comfy being called anything else.

the problem is, so many nonbinary people (on my fyp) make all these videos about their experience with questioning their gender and very often they say "thinking about your gender means you're not cis" which has bugged me for so long.

for weeks i thought, what the hell makes me a woman?

and i decided it was my desire to be seen as a woman.

now you see this answer felt like enlightenment to me, i think it was as affirming as if i'd been questioning why i'm non-woman. because the thing is, i wouldn't feel good with any other identity. (which is why i think that terf arguments that go "trans propaganda is seducing the cis kids" is absolutely backwards)

but you see i'm very afraid to post hehe i went through questioning my gender and i'm still cis, because i'm quite young (not on the internet, 24 counts as old in most spaces nowadays, but irl it is young). i don't think it would change, as it didn't for 24 years. but i'd hate to come back to this with "hey guess what hehehe", especially since if anyone ever refers to me as "girl" (as in 'hey girl') or "sis" ('got you, sis' or 'good point, sis') i feel icky.

well, the girl part might be said because i don't consider myself a girl anymore, as i'm way over 18 now, in fact in my first year of univeraity my father didn't just say hello to my roommates, but used a formal salutation for grown women - so i'm not a girl, i'm a woman, but idk what terms i'd be ok with? girl certainly not. babe would make me puke. and sis...i don't even know them, why are they calling me sis? it's uncomfy. just use my @. such as "good point, explosivepies" or "hi nihilistmike". not hard. use my name. oh good, it isn't a gender crisis, it's a culture shock thing.