#i dont even know what this is the quote was amazing and i had to do something with it 😌‼

[braxlrose]

head canons where the reader is like trad goth or something like that?? 😁

OFC!! I absolutely adore trad goth women 😍 (totally not my type at all, wink wink nudge nudge. they definitely shouldn't say hi to me in the dms at all. No way jose) but anyways, I didn't know which guy you wanted so I did all of them!

SOFT/SFW HCS FOR TOKIO HOTEL W/ A TRAD GOTH GF

bill

-literally LOVES doing your hair, whether it's slicked back, teased up, gelled up, shaved on the sides, different colors, different textures, HE LOVES IT.

-if you dye your hair hair other colors than just black, he would beg you to let him dye it. he gets all the shit for it too. And even picks up snacks for you while doing it. But it's kind of chaotic bc the mf is impatient af 💀

-if your hair isn't naturally black he will also help you touch up your roots

-THIS MF LITERALLY BEGGED YOU TO TEACH HIM HOW TO DO YOUR MAKEUP

-he watched so many videos on YouTube to figure out how to do your hair and makeup

-SHOPPING SPREES ALL THE TIME

-you guys get so much stuff and you always do runaway/model shoes for eachother

-he loves listening to new music, so when you introduced him to bands like Siouxsie and the Banshees and the Bauhaus he was super excited

-LOVES tagging along to your nail appointments to watch your nails get done

tom

-so bc he has a lot of fangirls, you got harassed a lot too. and these fangirls were commenting on your appearance all time. sending letters to you and tom, death threats, screaming stuff at concerts, harassing and stalking you and tom. It got to a point where tom had to hit one of the girls who tried to come at you with a switch blade. pookie is so protective 😘

-the way you do your makeup is literally magic to him. like he's seen bill do his makeup, but yours is so much more intricate.

-he literally loves it when you leave kisses on him from your black lipstick

-he gets internally pissed off whenever an interviewer talks about your appearance, it's crazy obvious

-hes a little fucker and acts like he's dying whenever you're touching up your roots because of how strong the hair dye is

-he goes to places like sephora w/ you to buy new makeup when you run out of something you need and he's so surprised by everything in there. he had no idea how much makeup one store has

-he thinks you look super fucking hot in your outfits too.

-he got you black lingerie and quote on quote said he thought you would like it because it was "goth", but he definitely just wanted to see you model for him

georg

-as we know, georg has AMAZING hair. so he let's you try differently hairstyles on him all the time

-whenever he walks by a store and sees an outfit you may like, he goes in and buys it immediately as a gift for you

-if you're overly obsessive about music or gothic celebrities, he'll let you lay in his lap and let you talk for hours

-if you have a lot of tattoos on your body, he loves tracing them

-he gets annoyed as shit whenever anybody talks about you and will glare down anybody who stares at you funny

-dont come for me for the stereotypes but if you like movies like Frankenstein, he will 100% watch it with you. he loves you more than anything in the entire world so whatever you like doing he will do it with you

-he loves it when you scratch his head if you have acrylic nails, it feels so nice and he will fall asleep so quickly in your lap

gustav

-like I've said before, I fully believe gustav LOVES LOVES LOOOOVES alternative women. I think I mentioned that in the rockstar post. so bc of this, he thinks you're insanely hot.

-he sits on the bathroom counter and let's you practice your eye makeup on him

-bros eyes actually widened when he saw what you looked like without makeup. NOT IN A BAD WAY OR ANYTHING THOUGH. he thought you were totally hot with makeup and w/o it you were even hotter.

-if you have your eyebrows shaved off, he literally won't stop touching the place where your eyebrows used to be. apparently it's "super soft" 💀

-if you were platforms that make you taller then him...OH MY GODDD he'll probably cum in his pants.

-I'm 99% sure sub gustav has a mommy kink or atleast a fem dom kink sooo

-he gets so mad whenever anybody sexualizes you. yk that video of Rent A Poarch or wtv it's called where th is singing Schrei and then Gustav goes and punches that guy. well if it gets to a point where someone has made you uncomfortable as fuck, that's what he'll do

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel smut #smut #fluff #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz being sexy as hell #tokio hotel fanfics #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel fanfic #tokio hotel imagine #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz fanfics #tokio hotel edits #gustav schafer #gustav schäfer smut #gustav schäfer x reader #gustav schäfer #gustav schafer x reader #georg listing edits #georg listing smut #georglisting #georg listing #georg listing x reader #gustavschäfer #tokio hotel members

[plantboiart]

Okay finished relistening to episode 1 (will listen to episode 2 and maybe more tomorrow but its like 10 pm and i have school tomorrow) of bitb and heres just like small collection of things that stuck to my mind!

Rolan does in fact canonically have a car i forgot about that so sorry rolan in my fic you got to live but lost your ability to drive such is life

Kian’s first act being just drinking something…. Like he wakes up and immediately gets alcohol… grizzly honestly just does such an incredibly amazing job making kian seem so like depressing but hiding it so well behind making everything seem like just some funny rockstar stuff its amazing

Also! The super tired ‘hey’ before he remembers and switches to ‘i mean whats up dude’??? Like could that have been a genuine mistake by grizz, sure, but i highly fucking doubt that. Like grizzly is so incredible at voice acting i refuse to believe that wasnt intentional

Rand. Just. How fucking mad he is at rolan. Its just painful. And how clearly done with it rolan is like you know this is an argument theyve had like hundreds of times before

So so so many details about kian that are so fucking fun to think about, specifically when he describes the look officer dudes gave him? Like (cant remember the exact quote but you get it) ‘ive seen some bad people in hollywood, people who just smile at you a certain way and you know you wouldnt want to meet them at night because they want to kill you’???? I am using that against him so hard holy shit

They just. Know nothing about how time works. They keep saying that its been a decade (it hasnt its been 15 years) and barc is supposedly old enough to have met them but no he is absolutely not and also charlie described barc as a golden retriever but then who the fuck is the black dog in rands official art just. Wow theyre so inconsistent about everything.

Theres definitely a few details about kian that i had forgotten about (like him just saying he has plenty more cars at home and whatever) but the pros of that is. I dont even need to decide to just ignore canon because i can just fucking believe that hes lying! Like its kian we cant trust his word on anything and thats great for me because i dont need to worry about messing up the canon!

Trying to just keep track of their stats and such but its. Its so hard. Because most of the time they just say ‘thats a success/hard success/failure/etc’ and not even what they actually rolled and then when they say what they rolled they still usually dont say what the number they had to beat was so just like.

Kian has 30 strength and 75 in guitar and 11 hp and that is all i can actually remember

Rand has 45 strength and 30 sanity (for like the first half hour) and ive already forgotten everything else

And rolan. Im going to be real i remember nothing already. I think he has 8 speed? But that was in the solo ep so i cant be sure. Also either him or rand had 14 hp i have already forgotten which one

Rat’s death is so hard to think about but its also very hard for me because im just thinking of kian going through the same fucking thing. Like hes aware of it and hes in pain and he just hears a buzzing and. Augh. (And kian probably died alone. God knows becky wasnt comforting him through that)

…..kian going fucking four times over the speed limit getting to galloway but then specifically not speeding with the others until theyre trying to leave after seeing rats whole thing? You cannot convince me that thats not like him being passively suicidal and just not caring about his own safety unless other peoples lives depend on it as well

Also, quick pat on the back for myself, i feel like i did very well with especially rand and rolan’s dynamic. Like just the intense care and love they have for each other but its been overshadowed by years spent apart and basically the second theyre left alone they immediately get into an argument and instantly start going right for all the things that hurt the most? Jesus they need therapy

Also kian (yes of course im focusing on him again thats my guy) just cares for them so much?? Like him immediately going after rolan and trying to help him without even knowing whats going on, also as fucking stupid as it is grizzlys plan being literally ‘im going to flirt with donna so john walks in on us and chases me with a shotgun to give a distraction for rand’ its like. So ridiculous. Yet somehow also very caring that this idiot is really willing to risk getting shot at to help rand out a bit

#jrwi show #jrwi #just roll with it #jrwi bitb #jrwi blood in the bayou #blood in the bayou #jrwi spoilers #jrwi bitb spoilers #bitb spoilers #blood in the bayou spoilers

[kennysimp101]

i’m begging for an Aj imagine where he dates a (female) f1 driver for red bull and in the beginning his friends don’t believe that they are dating cause of how pretty she is 🙏🙏🙏

btw love your work 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

"No chance": Aj x reader ☁

A/N: Hello Anon!! Im not a big Aj girly but I love f1 so ofc I loved this idea. I tried my best but it's like I forgot how to write 😭

Also, thanks Love <33, appreciate all of yall, and sorry for the very late update

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Aj have been dating for 5 months. It's been amazing. You are a racer and this year you got signed with the leading team in F1, Redbull. You were overjoyed and had your first race in a week. You invited Aj and told him to get his friends along as well. 

A week later

The first GP was in Baku, and you had just reached. You went to your hotel and were planning to have lunch with Aj and his friends. You had never met them but you had watched a few of their videos when Aj showed you their channel, and you thought they were hilarious. Aj texts you to come downstairs. You go to the reception and you see Aj standing. “AJ!!” You shout and run over to hug him. You hadn't met in a week since you were so busy with practice. “Y/N, I missed you soo muchh” He says hugging you back. “Are we ready to go?” You ask about the lunch. “I just need to go to my room and wait for the guys to get ready too” He replies “Okayy, im just gonna go get ready as well” You both go into the elevator, Aj gets off on the 3rd floor, where u see his friends, wave slightly before the elevator goes to your floor.

Aj goes to his friends. “Your telling me you pulled her??” Kenny asks. “NO CHANCE MAN BROS LYING” Chunkz shouts louder than expected. “Yeah??” Aj replies confused to all the commotion. “Aj, you know your my friend right? Like we live together and im so close to you, but i call bullshit” niko says. “Aint no way shes your girlfriend, shes too pretty” sharky added on. “I cant believe this man. HOW DO YOU LOT NOT BELIEVE ME?” Aj gets upset. “Nice one bro, its gonna be a great video for you” Chunkz laughs and the rest join in. “I dont even care, just go get ready in 10 minutes for lunch” Aj says as he shakes his head and goes to his room.

10 mins later

All the guys meet up downstairs and are waiting for y/n. “Sooooo your “girlfriend” isn't here yet huh aj?” Niko says, air-quoting girlfriend. “She's coming omg guys believe me she's my girlfriend,” Aj says getting sick of his friends. “Right right we totally believe you bro,” Sharky says sarcastically. Then y/n comes out of the elevator “AJ!! Here!” you shout at him. “Y/N!!” He says back as you walk towards him and his friends. “Guys this is y/n my girlfriend, and y/n this is Niko, Chunkz, Sharky, and Kenny,” He said pointing at each one. “Hey guys, im glad I can finally meet you all!” you say while smiling. All the guys stand with their jaws dropped. “SEE I TOLD YOU!” Aj shouted at them. “What?” you say confused. One of them, you remember as Chunkz says “We saw you in the elevator before, and since youre soo pretty, we just assumed Aj was making this whole thing up as a prank, and we didn't believe him at all… Clearly we were wrong”. You laugh while Aj stands there pouting. “But why?” Kenny asks. “Cause y/n is beautiful, kind and ambitious af?” Aj says like it's the most obvious thing. “No I get that, i was wondering why she would choose you, she's literally a goddess-looking F1 driver, and you're a rat,” He says and all the boys laugh. “Awww, he may be a triangle, but he's a cute triangle” You reply which gets then laughing even more. Aj smacks your arm as you giggle. “She's funny too?? Damn Aj you got nothing over her” Niko says as all of you walk out to go to lunch.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kinda short so sorry about that, finals approaching BUT IM TRYING TO START POSTING AGAIN SOOO YAYY. Also I went off the story so many times lmaoo (Thats y the ending is shit sorry). Im gonna try and finish up all the requests I have soon, then I was probably gonna put some f1 fics (Open to requests too)

Anyways love yall <33

#beta squad #aj shabeel #chunkz #king kenny #niko omilana #sharky #aj x reader #sidemen #british youtubers #beta squad x reader

[pub-lius]

Hiiii, I don't know if you have answered this before (sorry if you did) but what's your opinion about the book "hamilton by row chernow", I saw that you don't like it but I don't know why haha (sorry bad english)

Thanksssss

STOP APOLOGIZING I LOVE YOU THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH REPEAT ASKS AND YOUR ENGLISH IS AMAZING IM SO PROUD OF YOU

anyway

yeah i fucking hate that book. for starters, it’s excessively long because chernow is really bad with staying on topic and only including relevant information. this is evident in chapter one when he starts explaining how the island st kitts and nevis was formed. like i dont give a rats ass

also one very big literary and historical skill is the use of quotations, and chernow is HORRIBLE at this. very often he will say something and then include a quote that says almost the exact same thing, or vice versa, and it causes the book to be a very tedious read.

my biggest problem with the book is the fact that chernow is constantly contradicting himself and his own logic. for example, he says that based on the letters exchanged between angelica church and alexander hamilton, there is obvious romantic feelings there and they possibly even had sex. however, he includes the same amount of evidence for angelica church and thomas jefferson’s relationship, which is arguably more (if not the same amount) flirtatious, but says this was not AT ALL romantic and they definitely DIDNT have sex. this is a larger example of something that happens more often in small historical reasoning examples within the book.

so overall, the simplest answer to your question is that ron just isn’t a good historical writer and he contradicts himself which gives his theories less credibility. it’s definitely a difficult read because of the length and complexity of the issues discussed in the book, and ron does a poor job of executing this, whereas other authors, who keep things more simple, have greater success.

absolutely feel free to ask for clarification on any points if you need it, or if you have a hard time understanding my language, i know i can be a bit wordy. but thank you for the ask!!!

#alexander hamilton #ron chernow #books #amrev #history #asks

[avpdpossum]

Hi. After following a hyperfixation rabbit hole (thank you, ADHD and Autism) I have been wondering if I have AvPD. I've been obsessively researching it for a while now, and it would make a lot of sense for the struggles i've been facing that just aren't really explained by my other diagnoses but also aren't really *normal* per se, but I'm scared I'm wrong or just looking for something else to be "wrong" (i put wrong in quotes bc i dont think any disability/mental illness is actually something wrong, but that's how a lot of the people around me perceive it) with me so I feel like my suffering is more valid. My thoughts and hang ups are this:

I feel like my avoidance isn't severe enough to qualify (also me: hasn't made a follow-up appointment with either my neurologist or psychiatrist bc the idea of making the phone call "wrong" is crushing; changes the time I eat lunch so I don't have to either ask to sit with the people I know would let me sit with them bc they consider me or a friend or have them see me sitting alone even tho I literally like them and want them to be my friends; still haven't applied for my college housing accoms that I literally need bc I'm too scared i'll get turned down; feels crushing embarrassment even existing in the same space as my roommate; has a grand total of 1 friend)

It could just be my social anxiety/autism/agoraphobia. I feel like none of these really explain how deeply I feel rejection (my best friend was too busy to eat dinner with me like we usually do bc finals season and I nearly threw up bc of how much it hurt, and I ended up in tears for almost an hour) or just how crushingly embarrassing I find being perceived by others/existing to be (I literally can't make phone calls unless I'm locked in my dorm without my roommate there because I feel like people will judge me for doing a normal human activity like answering my mom's phone call; can't brush my teeth in the morning bc what if people see and only do it at night when most of the dorm hall is asleep), the constant reassurance I need from people (I'm constantly asking my best friend (only friend really) if I'm annoying them/too much work/going to get left by them/actually welcome to hang out with them).

I also wonder if my self-esteem is too high since I know low self-esteem is a key part of AvPD? I don't feel like I'm inferior academically/intelligence wise, hell I'm kind of arrogant in that respect, but also feel like I'm not good enough/interesting enough/pretty enough/funny enough for someone to want to be around me and have struggled with suicidal ideation because of it. I sometimes (by that I mean almost weekly) have meltdowns where I end up just wallowing in my own self-hatred for hours and ignoring people's texts/my homework bc I feel like i'm not good enough to have friends/long term partners.

I'm also not particularly quiet when I *am* in social situations. I tend to blurt out whatever's on my mind, even though I immediately regret it 99.9999% of the time, and my ADHD impulsivity results in me interrupting people a lot even tho it makes me feel like a horrible person. I always feel like I've overshared to everyone (tho my best friend, the only person I can be around all the time and not have a meltdown, says I actually under-share and should open up more to people).

I don't have any childhood trauma that could have caused it, at least I don't think? Like. My parents are amazing, they've always been there for me emotionally and physically. I was kind of bullied in pre-school through elementary school (people would take stuff from my bag and throw it and make me "fetch like a dog," I was really short so they'd hold stuff out of my reach) and never really had friends in middle school, just these three girls who let me hang out with them when I was around but would ignore my texts a lot, not invite me places they were going, etc, and after I moved away just before high school i didn't really bother to try making friends bc even tho i was lonely it just didn't seem like it was worth it bc they wouldn't like me anyway and I was just gonna go to college soon and they'd leave me then but none of that's really traumatizing?

I don't know. I feel like it really fits but also like if it were actually a big enough problem to qualify as a personality disorder my therapist would have caught it by now? And I'm scared to bring it up bc if she thinks i'm wrong i'll probably never want to talk to her again bc i'd be so embarrassed. Sorry, this was really long. If you actually read all of this, I guess I just want to ask if you think it's even possible I could have it.

i'll give you the short answer first: yes, it's absolutely possible that you could have it. i can't tell you if you do or not, but i can tell you that all of the doubts you mentioned are things i've personally struggled with while figuring my avpd out.

i'll put a much more in-depth answer addressing each of your concerns under the cut:

I'm scared I'm wrong

here's the thing: being wrong doesn't hurt anyone. people will act like researching your own potential diagnoses and coming to the wrong conclusion is the end of the world, but the reality is, there's very little actual harm that could come from a self-misdiagnosis.

with a clinical diagnosis, if the doctor is wrong, that could end with consequences like taking the wrong medication or doing therapies that do more harm than good to you. but just doing your own research and coming to your own conclusion? the worst that happens is you use the wrong word for a while and then eventually realize it doesn't fit as well as you thought it did, or you ask a doctor about it and they decide it's not a good fit and (if they're a good doctor) help guide you toward a more accurate explanation of what you're experiencing. either way, there's no harm done!

or just looking for something else to be "wrong" with me so I feel like my suffering is more valid

here's the thing: whether avpd is the answer or not, you're suffering. and if you're suffering and you want to better understand why that's happening, you're allowed to do that! your suffering is valid whether there's a name attached to it or not, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to want a name for it. it's only natural to want to understand why you feel the way you do and find people like you.

and if you're worried about a "psychology student syndrome" kind of thing – that you might just be projecting symptoms onto yourself that you don't really experience – the best thing you can do for that is to take some time to really look at yourself and your life and see if you see those things taking place. don't worry about if they're "as bad" as other people's; if you see examples of those things in your life and you're suffering because of them, that's all it takes to know you're genuinely experiencing it.

I feel like my avoidance isn't severe enough to qualify

it seems like you already know this on some level, but yeah, all of the things you listed after this sentence absolutely sound like some pretty significant avoidance to me. again, i can't tell you if it's avpd or not, but those do sound like the kinds of things i would count toward my own self-diagnosis if it were me.

there's no hard line of how severe your avoidance has to be, or any real way to objectively measure severity in the first place. if those things are getting in the way of you living your life and/or causing you to suffer emotionally, that means they're bad enough to be taken into consideration.

the secret is, almost no one feels like what they're experiencing is bad enough. i've had times in my life where my avoidance literally almost killed me, and i still wonder if it's "bad enough". don't let that imposter syndrome feeling stop you from better understanding your brain and getting the support you need.

It could just be my social anxiety/autism/agoraphobia. I feel like none of these really explain how deeply I feel rejection or just how crushingly embarrassing I find being perceived by others/existing to be, the constant reassurance I need from people.

this feeling was actually exactly what started me on the path that led to me realizing i had avpd. i knew that i was autistic and socially anxious, and i thought for a long time that those explained what i was experiencing, but the more i interacted with people around me who were also socially anxious autistics, the more i realized i was dealing with something none of them seemed to understand.

and all of the things you described – intense emotional dysregulation caused by rejection and embarrassment and needing constant reassurance to function in social situations – are classic avpd things. so i would say, if your gut tells you those things aren't being explained well enough by the words you already have to describe yourself, avpd is definitely worth considering.

I don't feel like I'm inferior academically/intelligence wise, hell I'm kind of arrogant in that respect, but also feel like I'm not good enough/interesting enough/pretty enough/funny enough for someone to want to be around me and have struggled with suicidal ideation because of it. I sometimes (by that I mean almost weekly) have meltdowns where I end up just wallowing in my own self-hatred for hours and ignoring people's texts/my homework bc I feel like i'm not good enough to have friends/long term partners.

hey, you're talking to the guy who's not just avoidant but also a narcissist. avpd can absolutely coexist with being highly confident (or even overconfident) in certain parts of yourself.

it also sounds like that confidence is an exception to the rule. feeling like you're "not X enough" for other people to the point of having self-isolation spirals or suicidal ideation because of it are really common forms of low self-esteem in avpd. if you ever here an avoidant refer to having an "avpd spiral" or "shame spiral", the experience they're talking about is a lot like what you described.

I'm also not particularly quiet when I *am* in social situations. I tend to blurt out whatever's on my mind, even though I immediately regret it 99.9999% of the time, and my ADHD impulsivity results in me interrupting people a lot even tho it makes me feel like a horrible person. I always feel like I've overshared to everyone

the stereotype of avpd is a super shy and quiet person, and some of us definitely are like that (myself included), but not all avoidants are. there are some who mask their avoidance by coming off as incredibly social and talking to people a lot, and others who (like you described) talk a lot even if they don't want to because of other aspects of their neurotype.

i think those feelings of regret and shame that you feel in response to what you're saying are really the important thing here. those internal experiences are much more fundamental to what avpd is than how they present externally, so the fact that you're experiencing them means i definitely wouldn't count avpd out just because you're not as quiet as some of us are.

I don't have any childhood trauma that could have caused it, at least I don't think? Like. My parents are amazing, they've always been there for me emotionally and physically. I was kind of bullied in pre-school through elementary school and never really had friends in middle school, just these three girls who let me hang out with them when I was around but would ignore my texts a lot, not invite me places they were going, etc

first of all, a history of trauma isn't actually required to have avpd. it's often assumed that personality disorders are also trauma disorders because they are often associated with trauma, but there's nothing suggesting that's always the case.

there's also research that has shown some people are born predisposed to avpd. it tends to cluster in families along with social anxiety, suggesting there's some sort of heritable aspect, and some research suggests avpd might start in childhood with a person having a nervous system that's naturally hypersensitive to certain triggers.

it's also important to remember that the kinds of trauma that can lead to something like avpd aren't always things we would look at as obvious trauma. for example, one paper i found said that a possible form of trauma that could lead to avpd is having an overprotective parent – the parent projects their fears onto the child and, despite just trying to keep them safe out of genuine love and care, ends up teaching their child that the world is dangerous. we might not look at that kind of parenting and automatically see it as traumatizing, and it's hard to fault that parent for trying to keep their child safe, bu the result for the child is the same. especially if we are born with more sensitive nervous systems than the average person, things that seem totally mundane could have a significant impact on how our brains develop.

all of that to say, it is possible that the experiences you described –being bullied in school and excluded by your friends – had enough of an impact to cause the struggles you're experiencing now, even if they don't feel like trauma. it's also possible that they're unrelated, because avpd (if that is what you're experiencing) can develop even in the absence of trauma.

I feel like it really fits but also like if it were actually a big enough problem to qualify as a personality disorder my therapist would have caught it by now?

you'd be surprised what therapists don't catch, especially if there's a much more common and less "scary" label (like social anxiety) that can, on the surface, explain away what you're experiencing. i've been seeing my therapist for 8 or 9 years now and she's very aware of my avoidant tendencies, including how much they get in the way of my life, but she still never brought up avpd with me. whether it’s because they just don’t hear about avpd enough to think of it, because they avoid diagnosing personality in general, because they don’t know “do with” avpd and would rather assume it’s something they do know how to handle, or because they think avpd is just another word for severe social anxiety, a lot of therapists will see all the signs of avpd in a patient but never actually bring up avpd as a possibility.

at the end of the day, you know better than anyone how much of a problem these struggles are for you. if you think this really could be the explanation, don't worry about what she did or didn't catch. therapists aren't infallible; they're human, and they can miss things.

I'm scared to bring it up bc if she thinks i'm wrong i'll probably never want to talk to her again bc i'd be so embarrassed

i 100% get that fear. i actually had that happen to me with my therapist – i brought up a few theories of mine to her, she shot them all down, and i ended up stopping our sessions and eventually going to a different therapist for a while because i felt like i couldn't trust her anymore. ultimately, i went back to her (mostly because the second therapist was an incredibly condescending asshole and my parents didn’t know of any other options), but i honestly still haven't brought avpd up to her to this day because of that.

so i can't blame you at all, and it's okay if you feel like you need to work up to bringing this up with her. try doing some more research and getting more confident in your theory so you feel like you can explain it well to her, and maybe even put together a collection of the evidence you have for it – examples of how you feel like you exhibit the symptoms, things like that – so you have something to hand to her instead of having to explain it on the spot. once you've looked into it more on your own, you can reevaluate how confident you feel in the theory and decide if it's time to talk to her.

in the meantime, you could try testing the waters to see how she might respond to you bringing up a theory. there are some therapists who are super against patients doing their own research and having their own ideas about what's going on, so it’s good to know if your therapist is one of those people ahead of time instead of finding out the hard way.

i would also recommend telling her that exact fear if/when you do bring this up to her. that sentiment of "one somewhat negative interaction is all it takes for my embarrassment to be so bad that i can never talk to you again" is a really common thing with avpd, and is one of the reasons a lot of avoidants struggle with therapy. so being honest about that fear can both help her understand that she needs to be cautious in her approach if she does disagree with you and could actually make her more likely to agree.

I guess I just want to ask if you think it's even possible I could have it.

so yeah, like i said at the beginning of this, i think it's very possible that you could have avpd. i can't tell you for sure, but pretty much everything you've described here sounds very familiar to me as an avoidant person, so at the very least i think it's definitely worth looking into further and seeing if it continues to feel accurate as you learn more.

i hope this helps! and whether you end up concluding that you're avoidant or that there's something else going on, i hope you're able to find the understanding and support that you need.

#poss.answers #avpd #actually avpd #actually avoidant #avoidant pd #avoidant personality disorder #cluster c

[bubbles-lounge]

Hi!!

I’ve had this brain rot for like MONTHS now and I wanted to spill it lol..

This I my first time requesting so bare with me here 😭

So what if the reader was a singer and whenever the reader would go on tour, or hosted a concert, Dottore would secretly watch. but what if one day reader noticed Dottore and accidentally made it obvious that the reader knew he was there.

So like when the reader would end the concert out of fear, Dottore decides to take reader. 🫣

Bonus; if you could make the reader female 🤧

Imma send this before I chicken out..😭

.... Anon... Give me your brain pleaseeeeee/j

Nook don't chicken out I'm nice I swearrrrr(I think at least) I love the request, im here for your brain rot.

Dottore has been plaguing my mind so I'm really happy.

Ima add someone else who likes reader but like they are just a background character they aren't important if you want one without the guitarist then I'll re make it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were have having in of your normal concerts as the crowd was singing along with you as you shrugged off the felling if being watched, everyone got louder as you and the guitarist were looking at each other and smiling. You had quickly skimmed over the crowd to see the people's enjoyment as it kept you going but then you see someone, you see him..

Dottore...

Why was the 2nd fatui harbingers here?! You panicked but kept your cool so your performance wouldnt be effected... Was he the reason you felt like you were being watched? You kept looking over at him and staring at him he was excluded from the crowd as he stared right at you even when you looked away he was staring at you.

The sing finished as you quickly made an announcement that you had to end the concert early due to a problem, as you looked over to dottore seeing him smirking at you... You quickly bowed as your band followed picking up something was wrong with you as you all left the stage, you being faster than the rest.

You quickly explained it to your hand as they were in shock and hugged you. They promised to help you if you get in trouble with him, they truly were amazing friends. As you all packed up to head home back to liyue, you apologized as they promised it was fine as you had a valid reason.

You all went back to the shared house that you had rented for the trip and you were all trying to sleep, if only you knew what would be waiting for you, you would have asked your friends to sleep in the same room, you used to do it all the time... You wished you had asked....

You woke up as you opened your eyes to a....different room?! You panicked. You quickly looked around seeing a coat and placing it on you as you opened the door to see him... How did he find me... Why am I here?!

He smiles at me as he stares at me with obsession. He grabbed your face as he asked you questions.

"Are you alright your in quote the state? I hope your not uncomfortable in your new room. Why are you leaving in your nightgown? "

I stared at him in horror. Why was I in his house?! What is going on?! I opened my mouth as I spoke in a shaking voice

"Why am I here? What do you want from me? "

He smiled at me as he leaned down and whisper to me

"I dont want anything but you. I don't give to your shows for no reason you know and when you spotted me I just had to grab you for myself. "

You have had a few stalkers but none as powerful as him nor willing to actual kidnap me! He took my hand as he led me back into the room as he sat down on the bed pulling me beside him, it was only then I noticed the chains on my wrists... I was to panicked before to realize... Now I'm stuck here.... Alone with him..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you liked this!

Remember to eat and drink lots<33

Remember that you are stunning, beautiful and wonderful<33

Enjoy your day/night<33

#🌹Yumi-Writes🌹 #genshin impact #yandere #yandere genshin impact #unhealthy love #dottore x reader #yandere dottore #dottore #singer!reader #singer x stalker #ask

[katherinegraceeee]

History. Part 2.

summary: you’re a wrestler being interviewed for different companies and it just so happens that dean is watching…and luckily for him..he already knows you all too well.

tw: arguing/yelling, cussing, smut (MAYBE DONT QUOTE ME ON THAT), mentions of blood/violence/gore? idk

a/n: okay so like ik i said this would be a 2-3 part thing but i love me a slow burn🤭 sooooo it’s def gonna be longer hehe. i also didn’t proofread this shit

you had gotten more interviews but none really stood out to you. you were on the fence about taking the WWE’s offer because a certain someone works under their name. the more you thought about it, the more you realized that he shouldn’t dictate your happiness and your success. you ended up taking their offer and began the process of getting you in the ring. you were actually supposed to begin in NXT but pretty much skipped that and went straight to smack down. you got to picking your gear, your song, your name, you know..wrestler things. your song fit you perfectly and your gear looked amazing. you went with the same name you had in CZW because you were proud of where you started.

~~~~~~

a/n: so of course you can choose your song but mine personally would be one of these:

Product of My Own Design- Artio

SWINE- Demi Lavato

Standing In The Sun- SMKC

Beautiful Dangerous- Slash ft. Fergie

-ANYWAY BACK TO WHAT WE’RE DOING-

~~~~~~

you were preparing for your first match. first time in the ring. first time on the big screen. your nerves were shot and you’ve never been more nervous. you were up against Nikki Bella. she had Cena ringside with her and you had Mcyntire. you didn’t necessarily like Drew but like…fuck it. your song begins to play and your name is announced, you come running out and you’re shocked about the cheers your getting. Drew isn’t far behind you while you stare Nikki down. she’s talking shit and so are you of course. you hop in the ring and come face to face with the Bella twin. you’re given a mic and you begin to talk, “So!! how fun is this guys? *the crowd roars in response* a little birdie told me that uh bitchy bella got a mouth on her! yeahhhh talking so much shit on the noobie right? well guess what sweetheart, where i came from, that shit does. not. slide.” you go to continue talking when she interrupts you, “where you came from? where? the goonies?” you laugh at the sad excuse for an insult. “as i was saying, where i came from, shit talking got you in whole lotta trouble. i’ve had mirrors broken over my back, body slammed on light sticks, pocket knifes through my thigh, more than you could EVER imagine.” before you could continue, without you knowing, drew unexpectedly kicks your legs out from under you and holds your arms behind you while Nikki throws punch after punch to your gut. Cena enters the ring and helps her out by giving her a boost to slam into you. before he could throw her, The Shields entrance begins to play and you see the three walk out. You’ve always known the hate Dean had for Cena AND Drew so this…this was gonna be fun.

Roman begins to take care of Cena as Seth and Dean get Drew away from you. That’s when you and Nikki begin to go at it, y’all are both strong fighters but Nikki is quick and agile so she takes to the sky and pulls a frog splash on you. funny part is though, you roll away just in time and she slams down into the floor of the ring. you stand over her enjoying the pained look on her face when Cena kicks you in the back causing you to fall. Dean catches sight of it and hops in the ring, pulling a dirty deeds on Cena. the fight goes on for at least another 10 minutes and you have Nikki pinned. 1! 2! and- of course she kicks out. but that doesn’t last long. everyone’s look at you, even Dean, he has that look. the look he’d give you way back when. the look of “cmon. you got it. it’s in your hands. take it” and so you do. you get her to the top rope, pick her up, and bodyslam her to the mat. you just lay on her, pinning her down. and the count starts again, 1! 2! and 3! you won. you did it. YOU WON. times slows and it seems that you forgot about the heated argument with dean all those years as he opens his arms and you run straight to them. the other guys surround you guys and y’all are jumping up and down like a bunch of kids. then…reality sets in on what you’re doing..dean apparently felt it too and you both quickly separate. you finish celebrating not looking at him. you slide out of the ring and run backstage into your dressing room.

as you close the door behind you, you try to fathom what just happened…while you were happy about winning your first match, you couldn’t help but wonder what happened with Dean. you just ran into his arms like nothing happened…like you used to and it’s freaking you out. those feelings you had for him were still there, they never went away. you can’t lie to yourself and say that you don’t miss him. his hugs, his laugh, his voice, just him overall. but he hurt you, bad. you shouldn’t love him anymore. but they way he helped you. they way he looked at you tonight, has you remembering Jon. your jon.

it’s been a little less then a week since your moment with dean and you’re still feeling off. you’re avoiding him. he’s avoiding you. poor seth and roman are still in the dark about you two and lord knows they aren’t gonna ask. they both keep checking up on dean and had even asked if you were okay. you see dean less and less as time goes on and you can’t tell if you’re happy about it or if it’s pissing you off. there’s a part of you that wants to go and talk to him, rekindle the flame that was put out so many years ago. but there’s also a part of you that wants nothing more to go give him hell. you never forgot what he said to you and how he acted towards you. it hurt. you can’t lie to yourself and say it didn’t or that it doesn’t hurt now. but at the end of the day, you miss him and you don’t know that he misses you too.

#jon moxley #dean ambrose #wwe #aew #jon moxley x reader #dean ambrose x reader #fanfiction #smackdown #raw

[t4tduo]

listen. c!eret gave Wilbur that sign that said you’re safe when Wilbur had just joined the server. He only had a van, a brother, and sapnap constantly trying to take those things away from him.

Eret knew nothing about Wilbur. None of his morals, goals, habits. But she sided with him. Why? That’s a crazy thing to do. It’s insane. To agree to build a country with someone and be by their side when you’ve never met them. Did she just know? Know they would have a future together in the home they would build? How did she know they would all become friends. Become family, even..oufgj

And it was going so well. Eret built the walls of their home and built love for her new people.

Then war was declared by dream.

And he hated it.

Nothing felt good anymore

Love replaced with fear, it became tense. There were borders built tall between the joyous conversations they used to have. She missed peace, and started to hate the fighting.

Then dream came to her with a deal. That if eret betrayed everyone she would become king of the smp. And she thought about it. If they all died, and if Wilbur was smart, they would be discouraged and resign. And she got the bonus of power. She could make up with everyone later.

So he took the offer.

And she lived to regret it forever.

She looked into the eyes of her family as they realised what had happened. She led them into a dark, underground room. And out from the walls came the other side, murdering them one by one. All she could utter was “it was never meant to be,” and all Wilbur said was a quiet, hurt, “eret.. how could you?”

Now listen. Things did not go as eret planned. They weren’t discouraged they only became more spiteful in the war. And she realised the crown she held high on her head didn’t mean anything. Dream gave him no control over the smp and she felt so stupid and guilty of course dream was to power hungry to make the title “king of the smp” mean anything for her.

Do you think she held the cold gold of that crown and felt a pit in her stomach as she missed the warm embrace of her friends.

She spent her entire life doing amazing things to make up for her biggest regret. Genuinely she became a saint in my eyes so like.

She started idolizing Wilbur as an amazing person and all this stuff, but finally grew out of that. She realized she only did that because she regret hurting him. They were both hurt people who did bad things.

Also some things worth mentioning is that erets betrayal is what led c!wilbur into his paranoia spiral in pogtopia. He also made the button room, where he died, to look like where he lost his first life and even quoted eret. He never forgot that experience. And also c!wilbur was SO jealous of eret for a long time. It was kinda funny. Eret also built a museum so the legacy and events and history of their lives would be remembered forever. Also c!wilbur was forever scared of eret

I’m so sorry this was way long and unorganized buttonduo makes me go crazy.

AND THEY ARE NOT TRAITORDUO. THEY ARE NOT TRAITORS THEY JUST LIKE PRESSING BUTTONS.

i dont know them like u do but i love them. they r now very dear to me. thank u for enlightening me. i am a changed zombie.

#sunrise.asks #fave #fave ever #ultimate fave

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

mailbag!! for the event!!

franks mama, emily, had no idea she was fucking a god until after she found out she was pregnant

annabeth's step mother has a peanut allergy, but annabeth loves peanut butter. annabeth isn't mad about it, bc her step mom also them to have peanut butter, just away from her

estelle jackson (sallys mom) was also clear sighted, she just thought she had a vivid imagination

leo has so made a joke, where he has a candle and lights it with his flames

leos mom liked star trek thats why he was confused af when jason said vulcan and he thought it was a star trek ref

piper knows every mean girls quote

hazel likes f.r.i.e.n.d.s for no reason

nico always let his sister (or mother before she died) brush his hair, so hazel and will are the only ones allowed to brush his hair

persephone actually likes hazel, bc she reminds her of demeter when her mother was younger

beryls one night stands with zeus/jupiter were pity fucks rather than actual love

thalia swears a lot

luke is allergic to bananas

percy is a chronic insomniac, annabeth is a chronic sleeper

Hephaestus and ares sometimes forget theyre fucking aphrodite at the same time bc theyre too busy betting on which capture the flag teams gonna win

"nico i had a nightmare" "go back to sleep" "but dads sculpture keeps looking at me" "huh--oh shit thats actually creepy, um.. okay anyway--" = hazel and nico at some point in time

amphirite and sally get along rlly well

ares has a son called marcus and he thinks its cute but also funny (marcus means son of mars)

(pssst the even did technically close but i dont mind breaking the rules for you pookie)

also i love love love the hc that ares has a son named marcus that's so funny-

children of aphrodite are amazing public speakers bc it's largely based on emotions, which there very in tune with

frank carries a little bottle of maple syrup with him everywhere he goes 'just in case the restaurant doesn't have any.'

hazel starts to carry some too, 'just in case frank's runs out'

jason starts keeping a journal (it's a diary but he doesn't want to call it that lmao) after the whole juno thing bc he never wants to have his memories stripped of him like that again

nico wears ONE singular gold ring on his ring hand, for will

will cant wear rings bc doctor, but he's got a black one on a chain around his neck, something about it being like dogtags

a lot of children of aphrodite are like pan or similar sexualities because they just have so much love to share that they can't just love one type of person

leo, unironically, loves 'over the hedge'

percy is the girl scouts biggest supporter, him and his mom go crazy in the spring and march back to their apartment with their arms just stuffed with boxes of cookies

he through a fit when they raised their prices and wrote them a ragey email with the help of annabeth

percy takes blurry pictures of architecture things and send them to annabeth, asking her what it is, just to see her ramble about the things she loves, bro doesn't even care or understand completely frfr

coach hedge keeps a photo of leo, piper, and jason in his wallet. his babies frfr

leo still has nightmares from the wilderness school but piper is always there to comfort him

big sister behavior frfr

clarisse once unknowingly got into a fight with her father on twitter and won

luke throws up every time he drinks ambrosia bc it tastes like his mom's cookies and the thought of his momma makes him sick

charlie once made a dagger for silena with their initials etched into it. it know is proudly framed in cabin nine, a constant reminder that the children of hephaestus are deserving of love

roman demigods can't stand gyros and greek demigds would rather eat dirty socks than cesar salad

connor makes friendship bracelets for all the new campers that come through cabin eleven, so that they don't forget them when they get claimed

mr. d never gets over the lost of his son, even struggling to look at pullox on some days bc he looks too much like his lost boy.

chrion likes to play pattycake with the younger kids

#tradin my thougths for yours fr fr lol #covey’s 350 follower event 𝜗𝜚 ‧₊˚ ⊹ #all my love ౨ৎ

[magicalgirlagency]

Whats your thoughts on Mami Tomoe in general? I dont like PMMM but Mami does interest me alot as a character concept: a veteran MG who took other, younger MGs under her wings to guide them; whom sees enough shits in her time that shes gone somewhat unstable but keep up a facade of cheerfulness to comfort her students. Im intending to create a character using this concept as well.

I wanted my character to have her Happy Ending - the rest of her younger teammates as well. I think it'd be rather ironic to base her on a dark MG while she belongs to a lighhearted Magical girl story. Shes still in a vague designing state, with a concept and some basic traits and backstory. I wanted to her to be a MG veteran who saw some serious shits during her younger days too, but with help from her mascot (who is not the bad guy in this story) and eventually the MGs whom shes teaching, shes healing from her past traumas and is on the road to a beautiful future.

I know there are other MGs from other shows that are good mentors for their team, but weirdly enough Mami was the first one who introduce me to this concept (PMMM was also the one to introduce me to the Maho Shojo gerne, but I dont like it so I evetually follow Pretty Cure instead, best choice ive ever made) so shes the one I pick to base my character on. Mostly for the ironic part.

I absolutely adore her. I even had a sideblog entirely dedicated to her back when this account got temporarily deleted, just to have any idea of how much I loved her. Heck, one of my self-inserts was inspired by her, too.

One of the many reasons why I love Mami could dial back to Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon's Kino Makoto/Sailor Jupiter. A strong yet sensitive girl who has lost her parents on a tragic accident and now craves the feeling of a family with the friends she makes.

Mami is indeed a fascinating character herself, and I think her death, while understandably haunting the narrative afterwards at least, was very disrespectful (she died in the span of ONE episode! Right after she debuted!) and the jokes that were relentlessly cracked by everyone and their mother for 10+ years are not funny at all.

Imagine if I were to crack jokes about Flapjack's death. You guys wouldn't like them, would you?

No, you guys wouldn't like them. It'd be cruel and done in bad taste.

Anyways, back to Mami...

She's the cool and experienced onee-san/senpai type of character, approachable and friendly; she's skilled and graceful, plus with an epic theme tune to boot. Of course, her calm and collected persona is just a mask that hides how terribly lonesome and scared she is. To quote Bebe in The Rebellion Story:

"Mami is a real crybaby. She gets lonely super-easy; I know, I know."

Homura's description is more in-depth, though:

"She would always put on a strong front and push herself too hard, despite having the softest heart of any of us."

This vulnerability of hers is more explored in Magia Record, though. She joins the Wings of Magius so she could help in finding a cause to save her friends from despairing and becoming Witches, as she feels guilty for dragging them into such a hostile world.

Except that the WoM's methods were very cultish, thus causing her to be brainwashed and used as a puppet, distance herself from the ones she was supposed to guide and protect, and when she'd be challenged by outsiders, she'd quickly lose her cool.

Turns out that no matter the timeline/universe, Tomoe Mami will always be the first one to crack at the revelation.

And I like that, because it makes her morally grey, which it's something quite rare in the Magical Girl genre. She wants to save her friends, but she has participated in dangerously unorthodox methods to achieve such an end.

Anyways, I've been rambling about Mami for too long, that I've forgotten your concept. Sorry! Your idea is amazing! My followers having galaxy-brained suggestions, as always!

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Hello, I just wanna say that your scene rewrites are amazing. Seeing Stars has got to be one of my favourites.

On the topic of Octavia, I agree that Viv and her team missed an opportunity with Via. To me in the context of the narrative, Octavia can be a tragic character that is screwed over by the writing. It is implied that she takes after Stolas with her love of astronomy as their form of bonding. Yet, she slowly watches her father drift away from them and is probably wondering if they—she even matters to him. You’re just watching a parent that you had a close bond to just leave you behind because they found someone else that captivated their interest. On top of the divorce that is currently going on would leave a child feeling doubtful.

I also just never understood why the writers want to keep having her being mad at her dad, even though they say that Stella has clearly been ruining the family, yet it’s his fault? Half the time the writing seesaws on Stella and Via’s dynamic because the only time she does care is when Stolas is there and…I get that could be counted as gaslighting, but the character lacks subtlety that it’s hard to tell when she’s always yelling. More often she doesn’t even care for her with two episodes implying this.

I just in general feel frustrated with this family because either avenue could be interesting if the writers took it seriously enough but they don’t and instead choose spur of the moment scenes that we have to use as jigsaw puzzle with some pieces not fitting because world building barely matters.

Sorry for the ramble. You’re version or fix it is probably one of my top favourites for the characters because I can definitely see the use of the loosely outlined jigsaw puzzle. Have a nice day/evening.

Thank you anon, im glad you like my rewrites

I agree 100% with via, they did the same thing with moxxie to her, that being repeating the same arc again of her being mad at her dad but forgive him in the end. It kind of shows that just like moxxie, they didnt know what to do with her which is a shame because the small details she has are there to be fully explored, but they never explore them. Like her and music, she oftens listens it even at the dinner table and with stellas reaction to the cheating affair, we can peice a puzzle of her doing it as a coping mechanism; escaping her problems through distraction. And with seeing stars main plot is around via running away to see a meteor shower, it would've been perfect to explore that side of her along with more knowledge of the family in general to piece this puzzle their giving (like the relationship with her mom, her uncle, the rest of their family, how they react to the situation, how their currently dealing with it, etc...) through flashbacks (since the whole point would've been that these issues wont go away no matter how much you try to ignore them) And yes, her closeness with her father drifting away is definitely tragic and its sucks that it wasnt futhered explored, especially with the entire goetta situation as a whole since were in season 2 and we dont even know how they reacted to it. It makes me wonder why even give us these pieces to solve properly if its so little that it makes it pretty impossible without theorizing from any vague info we have and thats not how problem solving works.

And yes, its odd that shes only mad at stolas but never to stella. I mean, i get she would be on her moms side because of him cheating but still with how stella is written, you'd think she'd hate her too. In this rewrite, stella would actually be subtle in her abuse to stolas in a way where you can still recognise it but also understand why other (like via) wouldnt. An example of this would be my first post where her and stolas confront each other about the divorce, the quote; '-or did you forget? Like you always do?'. Its meant to showcase her most common tactics, shaming. From her background (that i'll explain further in her own post), she oftens picks up things from her family, which shaming is included. She would shame stolas whenever he makes a mistake or does something she doesnt approve of (like if he wore a suit she didnt like, she would say; 'you know were meeting your family right? You think they want to see their son of royalty in that sort of wear?' or them arguing on how much time via should spend on her astronomy lessons; 'Shes going to be a future you and what, you wanna just, make her lazy, huh?!' (or even 'I didnt think you'd care that less for your own daughter....') See these are what you could recognise as shaming but also understand why people may not consider it so, potentially using excuses like 'oh shes probably right because its royalty/she just cares about looking good enough for her family' or 'oh she just cares for her daughter and her future' (ironically enough, those are kind of what fans AND the show itself use as an excuse for stolas lmao) but just because via doesnt recognise stella's abusive tendencies, doesnt mean she isnt upset with her. She very much is, mainly with stella's aggressiveness as stella developed anger issues throughout her life and didnt have anything to help it. Via hates it whenever stella yells because of course she would be, no one likes angry loud noises! Its just that unlike with stolas, shes not as open with her frustration to her mother because shes genuinely scared of her from that aggression that makes it much more harder to truly express her feelings about her, instead keeping it to herself along with her feelings towards how the rest of the family is reacting to it given that it just feels too much for her to be involved in. So the reason why shes only open on being mad at stolas is despite what he did, he's the only one she feels safe in being mad about (I mean, she does have andrealphus as someone safe to an extent though he's very dismissive of telling her whats going on with the goetias and definetly doesnt take being wrong well like stella so hes not much better) that way, it'd be more understandable and futher peice the puzzle of their family and their dynamic. Family itself is quite complicated because of the nuances it has behind it and i wanna incorporate that to the goetias were their not fully evil but tend to care about their statuses rather then whats right in front of them (that being them as a family) since i think its interesting to explore and wouldve suit stolas, stella and octavia really well.

No need to apologise for rambling, i like getting asks of peoples thoughts/ideas on helluva. Hell look, im rambling too. I hope you enjoy the future rewrites i have in store, have a nice day/evening too

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #helluva criticism #helluva critique #helluva boss rewrite #ask #anon

[sunflowersteves]

I did a lot of reflecting with myself and my very wonderful and lovely mutuals on an anon I received about confusion on my fic.

And I just wanna say, first, that my response was a very nice one, and also me defending some of the choices that I made (again, v nicely). But I realized after thinking about it that the reason I responded in the first place was that I felt as though it was my fault. The entire tone of the ask felt extremely accusatory, and not once asked kindly for any help.

No author should be torn down and ridiculed from your own confusion. Even if we look past the blatantly rude and entitled tone, the anon didn’t say hi, didn’t ask for any clarification, didn’t point to any specific passages or quotes, and didn’t ask if they could send me a dm. They didn’t give me anything to work with.

They just ridiculed me. They asked if I was serious—if I could “get things straight.” They told me every single issue they had rather than actually engaging with me on any confusion.

I have no problems if someone is confused about dialogue or plot or character decisions and asks, kindly, for clarification. Please, understand that. I encourage you, very much so, that if you are confused, please let me know. I will gladly help, and I have in the past.

And! I have no problems if you don’t like the choices I make regarding the plot points of my fic. that’s okay! You don’t have to. You’re not obligated to enjoy every single fic you read.

But when you tear my fic, limb from limb, and make me feel extremely discouraged, to the point where I thought any and all problems were my fault when it was yours? Especially as the pieces they complained about are in the warnings. All of them. Yeah, that’s not okay.

Here’s a bullet point list of some of the “confusion” they had and how I know their ask in my ask box was bullshit:

Joel was mean (in the warnings)

Joel is jealous (in the warnings and the literal plot of the series)

reader gets mad at Joel, Joel gets mad at reader (in the warnings)

smut after a six-week coma/hygiene (we’re literally talking about a post-apocalyptic reality, and others have confirmed with me that the reader is heavily implied to be bathed)

Joel is jealous (referenced again; THE PLOT & IN WARNINGS)

Ellie is two doors down from the smut happening (she is not, use context clues)

My point in responding and breaking down their “confusion” is to point out two things.

One? Read the warning tags. For the love of god, read the warnings all the way through. I promise you, you will not only understand more about the fic but you also won’t be surprised by anything.

Two? Please don’t do this to writers on this app OR anywhere at all. This is not how you ask for help when you need it. This is an extremely rude, arrogant, and entitled way of telling a writer you’re “confused.” I seriously doubt you would tell a writer this irl, in my opinion.

If you actually want authors, especially on this app, to engage with you, write the fics you want them to write, etc., DONT ACT LIKE THIS.

But also, it’s my fanfiction. It’s my writing. Every ridicule they placed on my fic was given to me as if my particular plot points were awful, and it felt as though they were insinuating that I should change them.

And you know what? I’m 21. I’m a college student. I’m still learning to write because it’s a skill. And that’s okay! It’s okay when fanfics lack clarity or have rough grammar. It’s okay if the plot doesn’t make entirely a lot of sense. It’s okay!

Now, I’m so happy to have grown from that experience, as well as have an amazing support group of people on this app. So, I will continue to be writing the series. I will continue to be writing for that character. I’m not changing a damn thing in my fic for clarification.

Again, I want to thank my mutuals for yanking me back up and helping me understand the depths of the ask they sent me. And big, big thanks to @honeystevie for helping me see that because without her initial reply, I’m sure I would’ve been in a very large discouraged writing hole. love you, rika <3

tagging some wonderful mutuals as a thanks and I’m giving a big hug: @moonlight-prose @cocoamoonmalfoy @tarrenterror25 @themarcusmoreno @fleurfairie @indouloureux @ghostofskywalker @iraot @dearest-readers @fxllfaiiry @fluffyprettykitty @targaryenvampireslayer @galatially @navybrat817 @rae-gar-targaryen @saradika

#vic's coffee talks♡༉ #fanfiction writers #writers on tumblr #joel miller

[asexual-spongebob]

TWTLTS incorrect quotes:

Tweak about Paani: he’s going to go jump in the water and cry now.

(source : my dad)

•••

Paani: “Yo can you pass me some of those chocolates?”

Kwazii: Oh yeah for sure, but let me get some of sauces!

(source: Danny Gonzalez) •••

Kwazii and Paani skipping stones on lake* Paani : It’s such a beautiful evening. Kwazii, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

•••

Peso : Sighs Kwazii was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Kwazii: Well, they shouldn't say "All you can eat" if they don't mean it.

Peso: Kwazii, you ate a chair.

(source: the amazing world of gumball)

•••

Shellington: MY MOTHER, SHE’S GONNA HURT ME- SHES GONNA KILL WHEN YOU DESERT ME-

(source: myself)

••• Kwazii. Walking in to a room: Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.  *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* 

Shellington: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

(( Source: scatterpatter’s incorrect quote generator)

••• Kwazii: I turned out perfectly fine! Paani: Kwazii, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast Kwazii: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

( Source: scatterpatter’s incorrect quote generator)

•••

Peso: The stars are so beautiful...  Shellington : They're just giant balls of gas.  Peso: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-  Shellington : And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.  Peso: Oh... 

(source: this incorrect quote generator)

Peso: This date is boring!  Shellington : This isnt a date. I said I was going to the store.  Peso: Then why did you invite me?  Shellington : I didnt, I specifically said "dont come with me" then you said " fuck you Shellington I'll do whatever I want!  (source)

Peso: I’m in love with you.  Shellington : We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.  Peso: I know.  Shellington : Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

(same source as the last one)

Shellington : That's ridiculous, Peso doesn't have a crush on me.  Dashi: Yes he does. Kwazii: Yes it does. Peso: Yes I do. 

•••

Shellington : Do you love Paani?  Kwazii: Yeah, I do.  Shellington : Peso! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!  Peso: We all love Paani. You should've asked if they were IN love with them.  Kwazii: I thought that was implied.  Peso: ...  Shellington : ...  Kwazii, looking straight at Peso: Congrats Shellington , you just won 100 bucks.  ••• Peso: *about Kwazii and Paani* They make a cute couple, huh?  Shellington : They certainly are standing next to each other.

(Source: incorrect quote generator)

•••

Peso: Hey Kwazii, wanna third wheel on my date with Shellington tomorrow?  Kwazii: Sure.  Peso: Paani! Wanna third wheel on my date with Shellington tomorrow?  Peso: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!  Kwazii & Paani : ...  Kwazii: Peso...

(source: incorrect quote generator)

••• Kwazii: Bye Paani! Bye Captain Barnacles! Bye Dashi! Bye Peso! Bye Inkling! Bye Tweak! Bye Paani~

Shellington: You said “Bye Paani” twice.

Kwazii: I like Paani.

(Source: SpongeBob SquarePants)

#kitty giggles #shellso #kwazini #the waves that lap the shore au #octonauts #octonauts above and beyond

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: nibbleinephym

our interviewee is @nibblelinephym (known in 2020/2021 as severely-nearsighted). here is a copy/pasted transcript of the questions and answers!

(if these posts are too long, please let me know, and i'll incorporate a cutoff in the future!)

Q: What do you remember most fondly about ‘Early MCYTblr’? (2020-2021)

A: i think im most fond of how tight-knit the community felt in the 'early days' honestly? dont get me wrong seeing it grow and new creators bring even more people in has been wonderful but theres just something about a smaller fandom that feels nice. we were never by any means a Small fandom but we're a Lot bigger now than we were just a few years ago!

Q: I understand that you were the face of Silverfish2020 (winner of the first MCYTblr elections). What was your experience in the elections themselves like?

A: first, clarifying; unfortunately silverfish2020 was Not the winner of the first election; that was quotes2020, represented by mcyt-quotes (who i believe has since changed urls? apologies but im not sure what their current one is or if theyre still active at all ^^;) by exactly four votes -- for me the elections were a lot of fun! when they were first starting up i wasn't sure if i wanted to join, since there were a Lot of people involved already and i hadn't really solidified myself as part of the community yet (i think i was still almost exclusively a musical blog back in the first days of it, not multifandom, which is so wild to think about tbh). im really glad i did though, i met some truly amazing people through the event that i still talk with to this day :] everything felt very fast paced at the time, especially since the discord was almost always going at blink-and-youll-miss-it speeds; you had to be Constantly in there if you wanted to participate in conversation. i remember whenever someone joined the server there would be a mob of people from different parties trying to convince them to side with theirs. surprisingly, that tactic worked pretty well for a lot of parties. i vividly remember that there was usually a pause of activity in the general server when results were being posted and a boom when they were all out. it was overall just a generally pretty positive environment from what i remember

Q: You were also a contestant in the MCYTblr ‘Friend or Host’ for Paint (adhddream). What do you remember of it?

A: friend or host was great! i wasnt in the competition long (iirc i was one of the first five out??? i dont actually remember how many contestants there were for the round but i know i was pretty early ^^;) but paint seemed really chill, it was just a nice little thing that we did for fun at love or hosts peak. i remember the discord stream of it didnt exactly go very well -- there was an issue with the visuals i think? so it might have been only audio. but im not entirely sure about that, it didnt really stick in my mind as well as other things from that era.

Q: What was the roleplay for Silverfish2020 like? 

A: the silverfish roleplay was very,, im not sure what the best word for it would be. chaotic maybe. there were a lot of things going on there just because there were a lot of things going on in the elections roleplay as a whole. we really leaned into the cult thing when the jokes started and it just kinda spiraled from there. in the beginning we toyed with the idea of a chestburster type thing living inside of the party members but it never really went anywhere despite how much we talked about it in our private discord,, instead we just focused on the party being a sort of hivemind. they lived in a stronghold under a dead forest and would try to get others to listen to 'the buzz' (like. insect buzzing. except if you listened to it long enough youd start hearing promises of a new family and respect and power and shit like that). one of our party members, shard (@shardofsun) was very thorough with all of her lore, going so far as to make detailed plans in a notebook of hers. the roleplay extended throughout the other elections as well (if you ignore the third and only through past lifetimes in the fourth) and is still partially going on now!

Q: You’ve been consistently keeping a list of all ‘kinnie’ (content creator imposter) blogs. Which ones stood out to you?

A: i think one of the imposter blogs that stood out most to me was definitely iamdreamwastaken (who eventually moved to tmblrdream) just because they were very interactive and took all the shit we sent them in stride. i also really liked the timedeo imposter despite never watching any of timedeos stuff. just thought they were cool. honourable shoutout to the eret and nihachu imposters too they rocked

Q: What are the biggest blogs you can remember? What was your impression of them?

A: the biggest blogs i can remember are probably gnfkitten [braveboyhalo] back when cat was the only one on the blog, adhddream, hearty-an0n(maybe not a Big one?? but very active and in a Lot of peoples inboxes from what i saw) and wooteena. there are definitely more urls i remember like georgeeehd (i think?) and wormweeb but i dont think i followed georgeeehd and i cant remember a whole lot of wormweebs stuff apart from the infertility post so i cant accurately answer for them ^^; wooteena was an acquaintance of mine; we didnt talk a whole lot but we were mutuals for a while. they were always pretty chill, despite the fact there were people out there shipping them with a friend of theirs?? ive always had huge respect for them just because they had the energy to deal with shit like that. i was friends with gnfkitten and hearty-an0n, at the very least in a 'wave at each other on the street' way, and i have really fond memories of the both of them :] hearty is still active, they post about sports these days from what i see on my dash, but im not sure if cat is despite gnfkitten being active as a group blog. adhddream always seemed really cool! my memory of their blog isnt super clear but i know i really liked seeing them on my dash back in the day. since this is tumblr i have no way of knowing if any of these people were actually Big Blogs but it definitely seemed like they were to me at the time haha

Q: What was the most insane piece of fandom drama you can remember from early MCYTblr? Did you participate?

A: i dont actually remember a whole lot of fandom drama from that time honestly. i tended to stay in my bubble of mutuals and other people i followed so it rarely ever crossed my dash. i was like ,, 15-16 at the time so fandom drama stressed me wayyyyy out, i tried my best to avoid it. the only stuff i can really remember at all was people fighting about whether or not it was okay to ship the characters from the dream smp and if shipping the characters was the same as shipping the players, but i never participated in any of the discourse from what i can recall

Q: Is there anything else you want to mention or that you want to be written down and remembered?

A: nope! though im happy to clarify on anything stated here if needed or answer any other questions that may arise :]

#Early MCYTblr Interviews #Volume 1 #nibbleinephym

[strozzaprete]

hi. i feel so awfully bad and i need somewhere to vent and im so sorry to do it here but i need someone to just. tell me what to do or how to feel. this is pathetic and i apologize and you can always just dismiss this ask. sorry.

but, see, i'm in high school (already inherently bad) and i have no friends but my boyfriend. he is really an amazing dude and i know i shouldn't send this to quote unquote misandrist blogs but whatever. he is truly fantastical, somehow.

as i said, i have no friends, and it's been that way for... a good while, aka years. i've been bullied a considerable amount and my mind itself is not the prettiest landscape. i am frequently alone, constantly lonely, and rarely happy. my only relieves are my family (sometimes, not even always because it can be a very toxic environment too) and my aforementioned boyfriend.

he has helped all the way through my eating disorder and all other troubles - i don't self diagnose, but, just so you can get an idea, the BPD and depression type. we see each other every day at school. he is the only person i know i can always count on. the two only other people i sometimes talk with and laugh with, both girls ive known forever (been at this school since kinder), are often pretty mean and have no problem ignoring me when they want to. my boyfriend never does that. never has.

but now he is changing schools too because he also is having a shitty time without much friends. and i cannot change schools because of budget. but i simply don't know what to do without him every day in my life. i dont know who'll help me when ive been so down i cannot listen at all in class and cannot understand the work. i dont know who i'll sit with. i don't know how i'll have lunch all alone and feel this invading me again. he had helped me be calm so many many many times and now it's so gone and i'll be without anyone once more and i've been proven right that everyone ends up leaving me. he'll have a better life than me and i'll stay in this cursed place imprisoned while he is out meeting people so much better than me in all aspects. he swears by his mother he'll keep in contact and not fall for anyone else but how am i supposed to believe that when i am so inherently unloveable? why wasn't i enough for him to not leave? why does he leave when he can still hang out with me? why can i be able to endure having no friends, but he can't?

there's no way to convince him to stay, and i don't want to go around begging him and, even worse, affect his academic future, given he is going to a "better" school.

i'm so sorry. i send this to u because everyone else here on radblr is like. 30. and that'd be uncomfortable for both.

please remember u can just delete this. god. sorry again

i know this feels like the end of the world right now but it'll pass. i've even graduated postgrad now but i haven't finished high school that long ago really, and for the first couple of years it was basically the same for me – minus the boyfriend lmao. i know it sucks. teenagers were fucking horrible in my time so i can't even imagine what they're like in 2024. i am so sorry you're in this rut right now but remember that even if it feels so far away high school will eventually finish! it'll be so liberating, and it'll be easier to find people you actually want to spend time with, especially if you continue your studies.

it pains me that you're putting so much importance on a single person who is not you. the only piece of advice i can really give you is to try to get to know yourself a bit more, and get to the root of your discomfort – you're not inherently unlovable, your life experience might have lead you to integrate that into your belief system because it's a normal reaction to the bullying. i know it's easy to say and hard to do but you must learn how to be comfortable with yourself because at the end of the day you're the person you're going to spend your entire life with. your personality will shine through and the people who are right for you will eventually find you. (fuck those mean "friends"! you deserve better)

you're young so i know everything is so intense for you right now, and i understand, honestly i usually don't respond to anons like these cause idk if i'm equipped to give real advice, but really i was an infamously shy weirdo loner and everything gradually got so much better towards and after the end of high school and now i'm literally unrecognizable lmao while the "cool" people in my class stayed the same... and they were only really "cool" in high school. this entire post sounds like a cliché i know lmao but it all changed once i realized that these people ain't shit... but i am lmao. because i slowly got to know myself, figured out what i liked doing more than anything else (listen to music), and specifically because i told myself so. i started standing up for myself against some things that i wasn't okay with, like bullying (and for a considerable amount of times i was bullied by teachers lmao). and i wasn't always successful but it helped build my character in the long run. i also stopped reacting to stuff that was going wrong by being self-deprecating or making suicidal jokes, even if they were just in my head, and replacing them with some flavor of "i can't wait for this moment to pass/high school to finish". it sounds stupid but it really works. and it gives you something to look forward to. i really wish you the best

[bentosandbox]

More sporadic Lone Trail ramblings/TLs

prev one here this time more about the saria/kirsten/mumu trio and fanservice and the CGs in general spoiler warning etc etc

1

(From 4-END) Silence asks Saria if she's incapable of standing against Rhine Lab because deep inside she's the same as them and when she finally answers she's like

......I'm sorry, Silence. I did think about it thoroughly, but I can't give you a definitive answer. If Kirsten's experiment does touch a law that should not have been, then I will stop her, just like all the mistakes Rhine Lab has committed over the years-- they ought to be corrected, for I have always believed, the more power one holds, the less they should act recklessly. But if I were to go back in time, to the moment where Kirsten and I first met, when everything had yet to transpire...I would not have stopped her then, nor the birth of Rhine Lab. Yes, even if I knew that Rhine Lab would create this many Catastrophes, even if I could have predicted that Kirsten, Parvis and Ferdinand would eventually grow out of control-- I would still have stood together with them as I did.

(From 5-END) Mumu:

Did you know? Back then, Saria and I even picked out Kirsten's clothes. Yup, Saria cares about fashion more than she does! (Control truly only has 1[or 2 lol] things in her brain)

Yara (HR and the one responsible for Silence2's outfit) is basically kind of a parent figure to Kirsten 🥹 (so I guess they're a parallel to Silence and Iffy...)

uhm what else. the 3 of them used to go stargazing together and in a flashback mumu picks up a (shiny) rock

Mumu: Kirsten, see that rock on the ground? What does it look like? Kirsten: ...... Mumu: It's like Saria, right? It's so hard(like, firm) and yet it shines so 'perfectly'! Kirsten: ...Like the stars.

idk how global is going to do this part but in CN (and in JP?) Rhine Lab is literally 'Rhine Life' and mumu asks if Kirsten really wants to name it that instead of something like 'Rhine Physics' since she 'just wants to fly to the sky' and she says no, RL is good, because

I want to know what exactly are the stars we see. I want to know what lies beyond the barrier wrapping around us. I want to know...to see just what kind of land do we live in, if I can really take a look while standing among the stars.......Most of the answers I want are about 'us'.

oh one last one quote out of context for you fic writers Saria (to mumu): You're the same as always. The moment you get a little nervous, you forget just how frail your body is.

2

Love the idea of mumu being doc's bestie/oomfie but her and hol's lines/whatever else have irreparably damaged the AK ecosystem fr tbqhwyf and i thought skadol was bad lol. Now we'll have triple the NTR jokes great amazing wonderful (i launch myself into space)

'But its rationalized they're all the last of their kind!!!!' Justification doesn't fucking matter the damage has been done to their (perceived) characters i want my insane morally fucked up scientists not some generic lonely gf that steals the mc from other girls or some harem bullshit forgot what the term was and i dont want to know

Imagine getting a generic ass cg of 'pov mumu is so sad and helpless and needs your help to rescue her!!' (this happens after and not getting one for the extremely kino saria and mumu fight where you find out more about just how inter-connected the 3 of them were (are…?) and saria is first overwhelmed by all the water and she remarks how shes has never seen water(from mm) this turbulent before but within the waves she cant find the elf and all she finds is are sad eyes and tears…I can only feel pity for Mumu fans who don't give a damn about shipping themselves for her. speaking of CGs...

3

AK is clearly inspired and references a lot of IRL media and it shows with their graphic design work (UI, motion graphics etc) here's a link to a Lone Trail analysis but....for some reason the story CGs are quite bereft of the same energy (dare i say passion even lol) imo

ofc CGs are to immerse you in the story etc etc and they're really pretty but

how immersive is a fucking practically copypasted photobashed kirsten (the CG is very beautiful otherwise I love aZling4's rendering style sm.. probably my second favourite CG after the depressing 2nd lobby one you get post-ST4 where......shes also in the same pose.........motherfuckers)

Like man could you not have posed him any other way than hand in pocket with average cosplayer photoshoot lighting

this CG of hol almost getting rekt by saria is pretty weak imo that grip is non-existent nothing much to say (atm) about hol but that i love fanart where she looks/acts like a freak instead of (90% of fanart)

saria literally just fell from almost space back to earth and she looks almost unscathed lol mumu's water can't possibly be that rejuvenating

Maybe it's meant to be kind of incomprehensible but uh when the story went tonight the truth is finally glimpsed by humans for the first time or something I was like ....what is even happening in this picture lol

idk like doing partitioned CGs like how limbus does it would be so good tbh sometimes all they just show is a face and its like ? all that space? I'm guessing the artists have to do the concept/compositions themselves and some just have fresher ideas than others or time constraints etc basically i would just love to see CGs that are references to kino movie shots or something, they love movies so much right??? what about some good cinematography????

Dont want to sound like im flexing my useless veterans card or whatever but like. im a day 0 fan, i played their OBT, i started my acc on day 1, i remember being so excited about this game being so different from the other mobages, i didn't like how GFL was becoming way way more fanservicey then so AK was like a literal noah's ark with a whole bunch of artists ive revered from my touhou days, and now seeing it (inevitably!) slide towards GFL and the average mobage has me like 'well im glad limbus exists they let their women wear pants and be irredeemably insane(looking at you talulah 🥲)'

regardless of all that complaining this might beat italiano perros for favourite event because i was one of those kids with a space phase and something about the trio's dynamic.... (brain chugging) something about water unable to move unshakeable earth (but it can soften though...) that in turn can never reach the sky you know you know just like how a tiger can never be on the same level as a dragon 'real' animal vs mythical

#arknights #bentotexto #Lone Trail