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lovesodakid · 1 month

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sworn to secrecy

chris sturniolo x fem!reader

2 3 4 5 6

summary: chris and y/n have known each other, pretty much their whole lives. y/n has always had a crush on chris. chris always viewed y/n as ‘nate’s little sister’ until one day, he realized, she wasn’t so little anymore…which nate sees..in which. he does not approve whatsoever. (“brothers best friend trope”)

warnings: slight mention of toxic household. shouldn’t be any more than that, if there is, lmk !!

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i groaned as i opened my eyes, fluttering them multiple times so i could adjust to the sunlight hitting my face through my window, lighting up my room and painting a beautiful orange-like color onto my walls from the early morning sunrise. i extend my arm out from under the warm comforter, to turn off my blaring alarm. i move to my side to look over at the alarm as it reads, 6:04am.

i sit up, stretching and yawning as i grumble a few breathless words as i place my feet on the cold hardwood flooring of my bedroom.

i quickly shuffle my way to my closet to grab some clothes to change into. considering it’s the middle of august in boston, it’ll most likely be warm today, so i grab a short sleeve plain white t-shirt and light washed baggy denim jeans. also, of course socks, bra, underwear, the good stuff.

today is the first day of my junior year. which means, it’s the first day of senior year for my annoying brother, nathan doe, and the triplets, whom i’ve known since i was at least 5 years old. i’ve grown up with them. i’ve seen them pick their nose, pee in the pool, and scream that girls have cooties into my face. i’ve witnessed them going on dates for the first time and their first sip of alcohol. i’ve seen it all.

nick is my best friend in the whole wide world. hes the one person who knows every single detail about me. when mine and nate’s parents used to get into fights when we were younger, nick was the first one to distract me from it. i’d bring my barbie’s to the triplets house and play with him, while nate played x-box with matt and chris. speaking of those two, im very close with matt. he and i bonded in my freshman year, when i was discovering what having anxiety meant, so was he. we kind of helped each other along the way, ive always viewed him as a second brother. chris on the other hand? not as a brother.

christopher sturniolo. the guy i’ve had the fattest crush on since the age of 10. below that age, i also thought boys had ‘cooties’. until one day, when i was playing tag with chris on the playground in elementary school.

flashback

i was chasing chris down the sidewalk that separated the playground from the grassy area at recess, when i tumbled over and landed on my hands and knees. which caused my knees and palms to be scrapped up. as i stood up, my knees were slightly bleeding, along with my palm. i guess chris heard that i stopped, he hurried over to where i was.

“are you okay?” chris softly asked.

“n-no.” i softly cried.

he gently picks my right hand up, planting a microscopic kiss on the back of it.“here, i’ll take you to a teacher. okay?” he says, slightly holding onto my elbow.

“okay.” i sniffled.

from that moment. i knew. i liked him.

end of flashback

i sigh at the memory as i finish getting dressed.

once im done, i put on a pair of air force 1’s, and make my way to my vanity. i opt on just putting on some mascara and lip gloss, deciding that i dont want to do a full face of makeup today.

i pick up my hairbrush, slowly brushing out any kinks or knots in it. once im done, i walk towards my bathroom, and brush my teeth.

“hey! are you ready? the triplets are on their way!” nate yells from down the hall.

“yeah! almost! give me 3 more minutes!” i yell with a mouth full of mint toothpaste.

once im done in the bathroom, i make my way into my bedroom, picking up my backpack off the floor, and grabbing my phone off the nightstand. almost as soon as i head toward my bedroom door to open it, i hear a faint honking coming from outside.

“are you ready? they’re here.” nate says to me as i walk down the rigid, old stairs of my house.

“yes.” i say as i walk past him, to outside.

i make my way to the minivan in my driveway, as i walk around to open the door behind the passenger seat. as nate and i get into our usual spots. matts always driving of course. chris in the passenger seat, nick in the middle backseat, me sitting behind chris, and nate sitting behind matt. it’s the ‘unspoken seat chart’ we randomly came up with.

“you guys ready for senior year!” chris yells loudly.

“yes. my last year in this hell hole!” nate exclaims.

nick and matt just say ‘yes’ in unison.

“what about you, kid? you ready for junior year?” chris turns around in his seat to ask me.

“kid” how i hate that nickname.

“uh yeah, sure.” i mumble.

“junior year really isn’t that bad. don’t stress to much over it.” nick whispers to me

after 15 minutes of chris’s loud rap songs giving me a blasting headache, we finally arrive at the school. once we walk in, we all split our ways to head to our first period classrooms. this year, i have english, so i make my way there.

once i get into the room, i head to the seat furthest in the back. as soon as i sit down, the bell rings, signaling it’s time for first period to begin.

“good morning everyone. my name is mrs. steven’s, ill be your english teacher for this year. now let’s go over…” mrs. steven’s speaks to the room full of teenagers.

i allow her words to trail off as my brain blocks her voice out. i hate school. how long until summer break again?

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a/n: okayy sooooo. i know this part is actually so boring and kind of short. idk if this is actually good or not so lmk if you want me to continue. in this story, the triplets and nathan are the same age and y/n is a year younger. ngl, i kinda gave up at the end lowkey, i just wanted to get this part out to see if it’ll be worth writing a whole story over, which i do have a lot a plans for actually. but it’s also 1:30 in the morning so im tired as fuck so.

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic

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mammon-money-maker · 2 months

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G’DAY MATE, MAMMON’S THE NAME!

💵I saw Luci’ and some of the other deadly sins on here and Fizzarolli too, so I decided to sign up do I get money for this?💵

💵So uh, ask me shit I guess, maybe I’ll answer if you’re worth something.💵

💵No spamming walls of text/emojis in my ask!💵

OOC:I have no association with Vivziepop or her characters, this is just an obsessed fan being bored and goofing off. Things will most likely be out of character at times, I’m just kinda having fun with this.

Blog Tags—

Blog Tag 🝮 “#Mammon-money-maker”

Ooc 🝮 “#Andy Gossips:Ooc Posts”

Original Posts 🝮 “#Merchandising:Original Post”

Ask Answered 🝮 “#I dont get paid for this:Asks”

Reblogs 🝮 “#Cooyright:Reblogs”

Threads 🝮 “#Making Money:Threads”

End of Thread 🝮 “#The Payoff:End of Thread”

Lore—

A heartfelt message

Mod—

@sockmanduckman

Circle of role players—

Same mod—

@king--of--ducks—Luci’

@moxxies-wife

@wally-wackfords-wacky-blog—Guy I threw once

Family—

@headlessdeaddancer—Little shit

@ask-the-archs—Douche and Dumbass

Others—

@blitztheoissilent

@ducky-loyal-servant-of-lucifer—Squeaky toy and general nuisance

@cherri-is-bomb—fellow Australian

@fizzythefrog—Fizzy

@featheryhoe—Weakest sin

@vox-tv-demon—Hater

#helluva boss mammon #helluva mammon #mammon helluva boss #mammon helluva #helluva #helluva boss #helluva boss roleplay #helluva roleplay #helluva rp #helluva boss rp #hellaverse rp #Mammon-money-maker #pinned intro #pinned post #Merchandising:Original Post

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joviepog · 4 months

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Okay, I’m finally (kinda) back! I wrote a little siren x reader story based on a song! Hope you enjoy!

-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ

People I don’t like

Warnings: Cursing, Arson, mention of people checking each other out, fire, mentions of screams, alcohol

Who: Siren x Reader

Pronouns: She / they

Word count: 1,137

Tag list: @gaytoadwithapopsicle @corner-of-void @danny-yagami @loversj0y @ax-y10 @lanaxoxoxoxoxox @haunted-headset @phxntomsdusk

Anything else: It’s been a while since I’ve written! Please excuse any errors and bad spelling! I will try to write as much as possible during this Christmas Break! :D

This story is NOT proofread.

Listen to this as you read!

“Hello. It’s so good to see you!”

You hear a cheery yet smug voice behind you as you smoke a cigarette. Great. You get partnered with him out of all people? Like seriously, siren out of all people?

“We’ve met before but nice to meet you.”

You say with a fake smile as he walks in front of you. He’s wearing his masquerade mask which is a dark blue. Similar to his regular villain costume. He wears a black suit and his hair is slick back, a new look.

“Yeah, i dont really wanna be here.”He says with a sigh

You nodded and suddenly launch at him to knock him out. If you can, you can get all the money. But as soon as you got close you him, he grabbed your hand and pinned you to the wall.

He smirks as he looks down at you which only made you roll your eyes. “What’s my name? Do you remember?”

You scoff and give him an innocent smile, “I’m pretty sure you have my number.”

He backs off, “So let’s pretend we like each other.”

The two of you walk in to a big room made of what seems like gold. There are big windows that open to multiple balconies, there is one large door that opens to an outside area. The roof is high and there are chandeliers everywhere you look. People with fancy dresses and suits fill the area.

“This room is so suffocating.” You whisper to Siren. He tightens his tight on his suit and shrugs. “Walking on ice, but nobody breaks it.” He winks at you before walking off to talk to people. You follow suit and walk uncomfortably with your big dress to the bar area. This oldish man comes up to you, complimenting your body and outfit. You hated it but kept your cool. You were stuck in this one way conversation.

‘Guess i’ll be here for a while.’ You thought.

He starts talking about his paycheck, blowing smoke in your face.

You take a shot with a fake smile as you look at him, excusing yourself before taking another round.

You talk to a couple more people, making friendly banter. The only goal you had was to get everyone on your side and to distract people from the vault. Your coworkers are working to steal as much money as possible. You let out a sigh as you tune out the lady’s words.

‘Everybody in the party’s fucking fake. I really wish i could say it to this lady’s face. But i wont. So…’ you think before talking to someone new.

“Hello it’s so good to see you!” You say to a man

“It’s nice to meet you!” You say to another man only 10 minutes later.

“What’s my name? Do you remember?” You say with a smile to the first guy you talked to at the bar.

“I’m pretty sure you have my number.” You say with a wink to a random man.

‘Let’s pretend we like each other.’ You think at almost the people you’ve talked to.

You wonder if Sireb is doing well with the lady’s . You stole a couple things from the men you had talked to for yourself to sell.

You come up to a woman and compliment her shoes. Then only a minute later you ask to know more about another lady.

Your job was hard, but you loved to act like you cared when really you dont give any shits.

As you talk to another man you see Siren flirt with a girl, having her pinned up to a wall. You scoff in disgust before looking away. Why did it make your heart pound? The lady your talking to is going in and on about herself. You keep on a smile but you scoff at her.

‘Can’t you bother someone else?’ You think.

Only 2 hours in and you’ve made a large amount of progress. You now have a group of people around you. They were interested in you.

You make a quick toast, “Raise a glads if you like me!” They all cheer and raise their glasses. You smile and take a sip of your drink, everyone joins in. Siren comes up behind you and you smirk, you could smell the alcohol off him from a mile away. “You’re getting trashed ‘cause you can’t leave?” You look at him in your seat, he’s standing behind you. You felt like a queen

“Guess we’re in this together.” He says as he looks down at you.

“Makes my head hurt.”

You get up and excuse yourself from the crowd, now walking with him. He might be drunk but he still looks composed and he’s still doing his job. He just randomly blurts things out..

“Everybody in this party’s fucking fake.”

You smirk, “And so am i, but we just go here so we gotta show some face.” You give him a laugh and he laughs along. You both walk away from each other before finding someone else to talk to.

“Hello it’s so good to see you.”

“We’ve met before but nice to meet you.”

“What’s my name? do you remember?”

“I’m pretty sure you have my number.”

“Let’s pretend we like each other.”

Suddenly you and Siren get a message from your ear piece that they got everything. You excuse yourself in last time before running away with Siren.

“Finally, We’re done.” He says with an exhausted sigh. “Not me.” You shrug

His eyes widen and he looks at you. “Wait, what?”

You wink at him before running away. It only takes you about 5 minutes to set gasoline around some of the building. Suddenly your coworkers show up.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?”

“YOU’RE GONNA RUIN THE PLAN!”

You shrug and give them a smirk. “Oh well.”

You grab the lighter from my pocket and set the place on fire.

“Cya.” You run off, taking off the fancy dress and wearing your costume from underneath. As you run you see smoke and fire in the distance. Screams filling your ears. You smirk as you run away. Hopefully that gives the villains a distraction so that you could escape.

That doesn’t matter though.

You know they’re weak.

Once you get to an alley way you open your pocket to see that everything you stole was gone.

“Wait. What the heck?” You start to look all around you before you hear a voice.

“Looking for these?” Siren. He dangled the watched, necklaces, and bracelets that you had stolen.

He walks up to you, grabs your hand, and opens it. He places the stolen items in your hand before walking away.

“Next time Darling, be more careful with the things you steal.” He looks you up and down. “Also, be more mindful of the chance that people can follow you.”

He smiles at you before running off.

And you’re left there, furious.

And yet you’re blushing.

Why were you blushing?!?

If you don’t want to be tagged please private message me!

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olderthannetfic · 5 months

Note

I do think the disclaimers from authors about NOT ENDORSING!!!! certain behaviors in fics is pretty funny, but I’ll admit I do it too. Oddly I only put warnings for abuse of the self, not the abuse of others. I write a fair bit of fic that “romanticizes” (or seems like it does) suicide/self harm/eating disorders to the point where it can almost be a tutorial of how to do it if I’m graphic enough. So in those I normally just add dead dove tags and put a disclaimer about how the trigger warning is no joke and you shouldn’t do the things that the characters do in the fic. It’s not like a Lifetime Movie end credits where the authors note is filled with hotlines and stuff, just a quick little note that, hey, yeah, if you’re considering this, don’t do it.

Oddly, I don’t think that behavior comes from fandom itself but rather from a completely different corner of the internet — when I struggled with the same stuff that I write about, it was pretty common for everyone’s bio to say that they “don’t promote” or they’re “not pro” and I guess old habits die hard. (Whether or not certain types of depression/SH/ana blogs etc really DONT promote or those words are just a please-don’t-ban-me card is a completely different discussion.)

It’s pretty ironic actually because when I’m on the other side of things (as the reader), reading about it is really cathartic in fic, but triggering (not in a fun way) in “real” books. Like there’s several books I had to DNF or shelf because it got to be too much, but oddly enough fic actually helps me a lot.

WOW that was all way heavier than I intended to get when I first started typing this ask! But yeah, that’s my own personal relationship to “I do not endorse” and I didn’t realize how odd it actually is until I started reading some of these other asks! I don’t think any type of “this is bad, actually” authors note is ever necessary honestly, but I also don’t think they’re that big of a deal — if a note from the writer about how they’re ~totally against the “bad” thing they’re writing about~ really takes you out of the fic that much, I don’t understand that either…it’d be one thing if they rambled on and on but even then I don’t think it’s that big of a deal 🤣 Annoying maybe but no one is required to read the AN.

My general threshold is “would a movie/podcast/real™️ book have a similar Viewer Discretion Adviced notice? If so, your A/N is likely fine and not virtual signal-ly or OTT at all.”

Heh. I think you're assuming a very different type of PSA from what other people are.

From what I've read, self-harm, suicide, and disordered eating are some of the topics that are a bit Monkey See, Monkey Do. Even support group discussions may increase the desire to cut, for example. It's still not 1:1, and we should be able to make art about serious topics, but a PSA doesn't feel totally absurd here. There are plenty of scientific studies showing measurable increases in people hurting themselves IRL after consuming certain material. Even if you did include a hotline, most people's objection is like "That number isn't valid for where I live", not "No one should ever do this".

I think if you polled people, you'd find that many of the PSA-haters are actually totally fine with "Hey, this fic contains serious depictions of mental illness. Make sure you're up for that today." and similar warnings.

But what people are actually talking about in 99% of "PSAs suck" discussions is rape fantasies.

Some clown writes a fic that is blatant fap material for people who like bodice ripper ravishment, and then they plaster it with "Rape Fantasies Bad" commentary that shows that they're judging themselves and their readers in a puritanical way that's a mega-buzzkill, completely out of keeping with the tone of the fic, and completely out of keeping with the actual scientific evidence.

Rape fantasies are commonplace and not a big deal, and to the extent that any depictions are demonstrably harmful, it's things like mainstream Hollywood movies reinforcing very standard cultural narratives, not somebody's sex pollen fic that's probably full of "It's so wrong, so why is it so hot???" anyway.

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shimmerwindow · 1 month

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I Never Really

Part Eighteen

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: Angst, alcohol use, smut

Sexual content: Fingering n' fuckin. (it's a quick one)

Playlist | Masterlist

Tag List: @jazzyfigz @dont-go-home-without-me @poochiesworld @stardustcatcher @83rkblogs @jaketsguitar @dannys-dream @gretavanfan @do-it-jakey-baby @gvfpal @ignite-my-fire @gardensgatekeeper @torniturntomyarrow

“Are you busy tonight?” Josh’s voice was cheery on the other end of the phone you held to your ear. “You should come out with me and Danny!”

You had no desire to leave your dorm whatsoever. You hadn’t felt the need to leave, except for classes, for the past two weeks straight. Most of your free time was consumed with sleeping, to avoid the aches in your heart. “I really shouldn't. I’ve got some homework I should catch up on,” you lied.

“That’s what you said last time,” Josh said, sounding a little whiny. “Just come out. You won’t regret it.”

“I can’t. Have a good night, Josh.”

“Wait! Listen, you’ve been cooped up in there for weeks, haven’t you? That’s so terrible for the mind. Just a few drinks, nothing ridiculous, it’ll make you feel better, I promise.”

He’d called you a week ago asking the same thing, but he hadn’t alluded to knowing anything about the situation. You figured he must know, but he was giving you the space to only ask for support if you wanted it. And you didn’t feel like you deserved anything of the sort. “I feel fine.”

“You sound like you’ve spent the whole day fuckin’ crying. Just come out with us. Just for an hour, that’s all I’ll ask.”

He clearly wasn’t going to take no for an answer, stubborn as he was. You wouldn’t be surprised if you said no, he would come knocking at your door within minutes. “Fine. One hour. Then I’m going home.” You figured that was as long as you could hold it together for, anyway.

“Be there soon.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he hung up.

You pulled on something halfway decent-looking, trying your best in the mirror to cover up the dark circles under your eyes. You still looked a mess, but in the dark lighting of a bar, nobody would be able to tell you’d spent the last two weeks crying your eyes out nightly.

You met the two outside, Danny pulling the car around with Josh riding shotgun. You slid into the back, your mind in a daze, still unable to pull yourself out of the fog you’d been in.

“Hey, how ya doing?” Danny asked, turning around to give you a smile before he drove off.

“I’m alright.”

“You sure don’t look it. No offense,” Josh said, turning to face you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled. “None taken. Life’s been a bit hard lately.”

“I hear that,” Danny replied. “Sounds like you need a drink. Or five.”

“Not too much, now,” Josh said.

“I’m guessing...you guys know…” just attempting to say the words wracked your body with indescribable pain. The two of them stiffened, shifting uncomfortably in their seats. You wished you’d never brought it up at all.

“I mean, we don’t really want to…” Danny started.

Josh picked up where he left off. “If you want to talk about it, we’re here to listen. And help. If you want it, of course.”

“I don’t want to trouble you with all of that.” You waved a hand and offered a weak smile.

“It’s no trouble at all.” Danny flashed a grin at you through the rear view mirror.

“We can talk about it later,” you replied.

Later came quickly, several drinks in, as you and Josh slurred your words and spoke far too loudly over Danny, the only sober man in the room. One hour turned into many, and your heart finally opened, and you began to pour out all of the words you’d let linger inside of you. Voices drowned out most of your ramblings, as did the droning country-pop blaring from the radio.

“They’re both just fucking assholes,” you said with a flourish of your drink, nearly knocking a bystander in the head with it. “Both of them.”

“I don’t think you mean that.” Danny had been attempting to be the voice of reason, though it was difficult while caught between you and Josh.

“This whole situation is fucked up. I don’t get it, why didn’t you just tell Sam?” Josh asked.

“Because I knew he was fucking around with that other girl!”

“So what?” Josh gave an exaggerated shrug. “Fuck her. You deserve him more.”

“I think she was trying not to be a homewrecker, Josh,” Danny said.

“Exactly.” You set your drink down a bit too hard, sending droplets splattering onto your arm. “I really like him, I– I love him, so I didn’t want to hurt him.”

“You didn’t want to hurt him,” Danny began. “So you slept with his brother. Right.”

“Listen, I just thought…” You stopped in your tracks, the weight of your actions washing over you like waves of mercury once again. He had a point you couldn't refute.

“Those two, they’re always, like…” Josh snapped his fingers a few times, his eyes to the ceiling, searching for words. “They’ve got the same taste in women, I think. Causes problems sometimes.”

“Has anything like this happened before?” You asked.

“Not quite this severe.” Danny rested the toes of his shoes against the bar, leaning his chair back a bit. “You’ve got both of them all shook up like I haven’t seen before.”

“They don’t usually fight like that,” Josh added.

“Jake, he had a–” you gestured to your cheek, motioning in the shape of the bruise you’d seen. “Sam didn’t do that, did he?” You weren’t sure whether you actually wanted to know the answer.

The two exchanged glances, and Josh nodded, slowly.

You groaned, running a hand across your face. “Don’t tell me Jake busted Sam’s pretty face, too.”

Josh squinted at you, holding up two fingers in a pinching motion. “A little.”

“Jesus, I’m gonna kill both of them. Fighting over me like fucking cavemen.”

“It’s par for the sibling course, darling. Don’t worry about it too much,” Josh said. “We’ve all taken and given our fair share of ass-kickings.”

“Still doesn't make it right,” you sighed. “I wonder if Sam ever even liked me the way he said he did. Maybe he was just messing around so he could fuck.”

Josh blinked at you. “What on god’s green earth would make you think that?”

“Well, he just…he was able to move on so fast–”

“First of all,” Josh began, “All he’s talked to me about was you for the past fucking month. Also, he didn’t move on.”

“He didn't?”

“Of course not,” Danny chimed in before Josh could speak. “I don’t even think he’s seen anybody else since you. Not that we’ve heard, at least.”

“But I haven't seen him…not even once. Clearly he doesn’t care that much if–”

Josh cut you off with a loud, exaggerated groan. “Why are you arguing?”

“Josh,” Danny urged. “Be gentle.”

“Gentle? I don't need to be gentle. You–” he grabbed your shoulders, his light touch contrasting the edge to his words. “Need to realize that he loves you.”

“We never said that,” you said, struck suddenly by how Josh and Sam shared the same eyes. So kind, and inviting. “We never said I love you.”

“Then maybe you should. Because he's said it about you. Maybe not to your face, but he's made it plenty clear.”

“You just need to talk to him, honestly,” Danny said, gently lifting Josh’s hands from your shoulders. “Have you tried reaching out?”

“I haven’t,” you said, a bit guilty. “I thought that if he wanted anything to do with me, he’d have texted me first.”

“Then that’s exactly what you need to do. Call him, text him, hell – go knock on his door. Talk to him in person.” Danny watched you as your lip began to quiver, thinking about the anxiety of having to address your wrongs straight in the face. “It’s not gonna be easy. But you can’t just let this…fester. You two were made for each other.”

“Jesus, you really think so?”

“Everyone thinks so,” Josh said with a wide smile.

"Even Jake?" Just the act of letting his name grace your lips brought forth an entirely new wave of anxiety.

The two men paused, glancing at their drinks, though the silence was not awkward. "I think Jake..." Josh started, finding the right words. "I think he just wants you to be happy. He didn't really understand what was going on between you and Sam."

"Clearly," you mumbled.

"Jake is a bit territorial," Danny added, spreading his arms wide. "When Jake thinks a girl is his, he takes it seriously. More seriously than he probably should."

"Especially when he's not trying to date anyone." Josh's words betrayed a deeper annoyance, like this exact situation had played out far more than once. "It's partially on Sam for not mentioning how serious the two of you were sooner. But Jake won't sabotage you now that he knows," he shrugged. "But you still need to talk to Sam."

“Fine, then.” You took another deep swig from your drink. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him everything. Tomorrow.”

“Atta girl!” Josh exclaimed, giving you a pat on the back.

“I need a fucking cigarette,” you mumbled.

Outside, the sound from the crowd drained away, only the loudest of shouts and heaviest of glasses clinking audible behind the glass doors to the patio. You were too drunk at this point to keep a steady conversation going, but it was pleasurable nonetheless. Josh and Danny were an incredibly funny duo, and just a few minutes of casual talking had your sides in stitches from laughing.

You felt, dare you say, better. You did seem to have a terrible knack for avoiding talks you didn’t want to have. But Danny and Josh had assuaged those worries that kept you from saying what needed to be said. It was likely mostly the alcohol speaking, but you were feeling confident in your ability to finally speak to Sam. It needed to be done, no matter what. If nothing else, he deserved closure from you. An admission of the truth, straight from your lips.

The three of you couldn’t last long in the cold, huddling together to shield yourselves from the wind that whipped past the nearby buildings. Josh and Danny cracked first, and with a “fuck this,” they headed back into the bar, with you in tow. The two of them had just barely passed through the hallway back into the main section of the bar when they stopped dead in their tracks, so quickly you ran into Danny’s back, bumping your glass on him and sending an ice cube tumbling over the leather.

“Shit, sorry,” you mumbled, peering around both of them to see what had stopped them so suddenly.

It all seemed to happen so fast. Both of them turned around at the same time, stepping towards you, blabbing nonsense about how you should go back outside. But not before you caught a glimpse of the bar, straight ahead. Many unfamiliar faces, among them two you knew. One of which you knew well.

Sam sat at the bar, a drink in his hand, his arm around a girl, who was resting herself against him. A girl you recognized from your worst nightmares, some of which were waking. He was talking to her, a smile on his lips. In an instant, his eyes caught yours through the gap between Josh and Danny’s shoulders. His smile faded, turned into something you’d never seen. Like his lips would never know the sweet feeling of a smile again. And he turned away.

Josh and Danny had to nearly drag you back to Danny’s car, as your legs threatened to give out with every step with the force of your sobs. People stared, whispered at each other under their breath, but you didn’t care. You wished you’d gone blind. Your stomach churned on the ride home as you prayed to any god to turn back time just a few months.

Everything was a blur. You barely processed anything as Josh rubbed your back through your heaving cries, or kind words were offered from Danny when you screamed that Sam never cared about you at all. You wished you were being dramatic, you wished this was all not as serious as you were taking it. You wished you’d never thought of your future with him, that you’d never given yourself the space to hope and dream. The walls he’d broken down would be replaced swiftly, and sturdier than ever, you thought.

Danny, ever the caregiver, sat with you as Josh stumbled his way to bed. He gave you all the blankets you needed to quell the shaking your body refused to quit, as many tissues as you needed to dry your eyes. He listened as you rambled, drunkenly, about the same topics over and over. Rehashing the events of the past months, trying to make sense of it all, trying to find a solution, though there was none.

You'd taken Danny for some kind of frat-boy-type, player, seducer. But sitting in the living room with him, letting him hold your hand for support while he told you everything would be alright, you realized you’d painted him as far too one-dimensional. He was kind, and only wanted the best for you, even though he didn’t know you all that well.

You insisted you didn’t want to be a bother, and that you’d walk yourself home. He physically held you back as you tried to get up from the couch. “Absolutely the fuck not,” he said.

You’d pushed, saying you needed to be alone, you didn’t want to keep anyone up with your crying. “I should just go,” you insisted. “I can't–”

“Shush.” He placed a hand on top of your head, ruffling your hair a bit. “I didn’t bring down all those blankets and pillows for fun. Use them. Go to sleep.”

Sleep seemed like an impossible, far-away pipe dream right now, even through your exhaustion. Still, you were thankful he'd given you a warm place to rest your head, where you wouldn’t be entirely alone. “Thanks Danny,” you said, almost able to force a smile onto your face. “I’m sure I’m being a lot right now. I–”

“Don’t even think about apologizing. You needed a friend, that’s alright. Now go to bed.”

You did as he said, resting your head on the pillows. “Is…is he coming back tonight?” You glanced at the front door.

Danny followed your gaze to the door, looking at you plaintively. “Probably not. And Jake’s gone for at least the weekend. Don’t worry about that right now, though. You’ve been through enough tonight.”

You nodded in agreement, letting your swollen eyes slip shut as Danny turned off the lights. “Sleep well. We can talk in the morning.”

In the darkness, alone, your mind wanted you to think it all over again. You were exhausted, drained beyond belief, unable to even comprehend the events laid out in front of you. It took great effort, but you were finally able to relax just enough to drift into something resembling sleep.

That is, until you heard keys rattling in the front door. You shot up, staring at the door, your heart pounding immediately. Someone was out there. Someone was about to walk in. You prayed it was Jake, prayed he would simply walk right past you with nothing more than a half-smile and a nod. The door opened quietly, and you watched closely at the way the person swung it quickly past the points where it would creak.

Sam stood in the doorway, motionless, the door still open behind him, cold air pooling over you. He said your name, questioning, just barely loud enough for you to hear. You said nothing – what was there to say? You wished he would just ignore you, walk past you, go up to his room and slam the door. Instead, you watched, captivated, as he took his coat and shoes off, locked the door behind him, and sat down on the other end of the couch, cross-legged, facing you.

“Hey,” he said. A forced casualness tainted the word.

“You shouldn’t be doing this.” You meant that. There was no saving what you’d had.

“I know.” He let out a shaky sigh. “I don’t…know what to say.”

You could just barely see him, his features only dimly lit from a light in the kitchen. You pointed to his temple, where the remnants of a bruise darkened his skin. “Jake did that to you. Didn’t he?”

Sam nodded. “Does it look cool?” There was not an ounce of humor in the words.

“Why did you fight over me?”

“Because I thought I deserved you more.”

“You deserve far better than me.”

He tsked his tongue, shaking his head. “I don’t want anything but you.”

“But you were with that girl tonight.”

“Because you’re not mine anymore. Or, I guess, you never were.”

“Fair enough.”

“We never fucking talk,” he hissed. You were sure he would have shouted, if he could. “This is our problem. What we're doing right now. We never just fucking talk to each other. I’ve said it before, and neither of us change it.”

“I thought we were doing alright.”

“But you didn’t tell me you had been fucking my brother on the side.”

“It was twice. And I wanted to tell you, I was planning on it, I just–”

“Why? After everything I told you, why him?” You could see tears in his eyes, glistening against the glow from the streetlights peeking through the curtains.

You took a long pause. You wished there was a better answer, something more concrete or absolute, but the truth was all you wanted to say. “I don’t know. You weren’t there, and he was. It was fucking stupid of me. It wasn’t to hurt you, though. Not consciously. I saw you with her, and I figured there was no way you could want me more than someone who looks like that.”

“Right,” he scoffed. “Sure.”

“I’m trying to talk to you.” Another batch of tears was lining up behind your eyes, though you couldn’t fathom having any more left to cry. “I just want you to know the truth.”

“How am I supposed to trust you? Now, or ever?”

You could only shake your head. “I don’t know.”

“It’s been so hard,” he said, his hand coming to idly rest on yours, splayed out on the couch between the two of you. The simple touch felt like grabbing a fistful of snow with bare fingers, icy and shocking. “I don’t know…I’m just not me without you.”

“I know.” Tears started to fall again, and you didn’t bother wiping them away. Your eyes were already irritated enough from the hours you’d spent sobbing in this very spot. “I can’t bring myself to do anything.”

“What are we supposed to do now?”

“I think we have to answer that ourselves.”

“I just can’t survive without you.” His fingers walked up the back of your hand, wrapping gently around your forearm. “But we’re killing each other. I can’t…” He pulled his hand away, and hesitated. Stillness filled the air when his fingers ran across your cheek, wiping away a tear there. “I can’t see you like this. I can’t do this to you.”

“I can’t do this to you, either.” You mirrored his gesture, your thumb running trails over the tracks of tears on his face.

“Can I…” he shifted, gesturing to you to come closer. Despite your better judgment, you fell heavy into his arms, resting your cheek against his collarbone. That scent again, it hit you like waves, dredging up every hope and every wish you’d fought so hard to bury over the past two weeks. You wished you could lay this way forever, a familiar position you used to adopt when the two of you would lounge in bed together.

“Can we just pretend everything is normal?” You said, with the lightest hint of a forced laugh.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Please.” The word was choked, nearly a sob. “Just give me this one night with you.”

“We can’t.” His motions contradicted his words as his hands pulled you closer to his chest.

“Just tonight and then we can both forget.” It stung to say it, like a papercut. “We can forget about each other. I’ll forget about your whole family. It can be like we never happened.”

You heard him suck in a hitched breath through his teeth. With hands that trembled, he cupped the sides of your face and drew you in, stopping short of a kiss. You wanted nothing more than to break past his hands, meet your lips with his, feel every inch of him under your mouth. You needed him more than could be expressed in words or actions, it was far deeper, something soul-crushing and gut-wrenching.

He felt it too. And he was not strong enough to resist. He pulled you in, kissing you, with the fervor of a man who has waited his entire life for this moment. He tasted salty, the taste of your mutual tears collected on the corners of your lips; a reminder of that night at the bar with him, the salt of his neck.

You tried to hold yourself back. You knew you shouldn’t let this go any further, but your hands moved on their own to wrap around his neck. “We shouldn't do this,” you mumbled, peppering kisses along his jaw.

“Then stop.”

You couldn’t, and neither could he. It was so unceremonious, but there was something sacred about your movements. The way he ripped the blankets off of you, the way his hands slipped under your shirt, the way you pulled at his hair and fumbled with the button on his pants. Neither of you needed to ask – you were far past that point. It was all unsaid, as many things tended to be between the two of you. He only needed to give you that look he’d given you however many dozen times in the past, the one that you’d reply to with a nod and dewy doe-eyes.

Things were a blur, hands grasping and fingers trailing over flesh, lips colliding with fervor in dead silence and darkness. You could just barely see his face, but you didn’t need to see much. The sound of his breathing, the scent of his skin, it all led you back home.

He shoved your pants down to your knees, dragging you into his lap, his lips never leaving yours. He shifted your bodies, leaning his back against the couch, straddling your knees on either side of his.

“You always smell so good,” he whispered into the side of your neck. “I dream about it.” He slid a hand between the two of you, running a finger through the wetness already drenching your thighs. “I wake up sometimes and I could swear you’re right there next to me.”

You’d done the same, thought you were crazy for being surprised at the other half of your bed being cold and empty every morning. You couldn’t vocalize it, not when he slid a finger into you and you had to bite down on his shoulder to keep yourself silent. But he could feel it from you, the subtle agreement present in how your nails scratched thin lines into his biceps.

“Is that good?” He asked, his breath warming the shell of your ear.

You let out a muffled mhm, your teeth still sunk into his shoulder. If you hadn’t already broken the skin, you would leave a bruise for certain. He didn’t seem to mind, though.

You trailed your hands over the fabric of his shirt, down to where you'd managed to haphazardly undo the fly of his jeans. You hadn’t realized your fingers were cold until they settled on the warmth of his cock, making him suck a breath in through his teeth and jump back a bit. The two of you stifled muted laughs at the exchange, and even if it was only a glimpse, it was heartwarming to feel a brief moment of humor.

Your bodies moved in time quickly, your hand moving in languid strokes along his cock as he worked you open with his fingers. You didn’t want to wait, having waited long enough, having suffered more than enough lately. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes before you were begging him for it.

He slipped himself into you with little grace or fanfare, desperate for it. You let out a strained breath, watching what little of him you could see in the dark. You weren’t prepped quite enough, the stretch of him knocking the wind out of you.

“Fuck,” he whispered, the word coming out shaky. “You feel better than I remember.”

You let out a downright pathetic whimper, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, your legs already trembling.

“Move.” It was a command, not a request.

It was difficult, trying to force your body to move when each drag of your hips threatened to pull a moan from your lips.

Words piled up behind your teeth when he pulled you closer, his lips dragging across the skin of your neck. Your face buried in his hair, you tried to take all of this in. The silk of his hair against your cheek, the smell of sweat and cologne, the way his shoulders rose and fell with each shaking breath. It was so beautiful, so bittersweet, a gorgeous agony you’d never be able to forget.

“Just say it,” he said lowly. “I can tell you want to say it so just fucking say it.”

“I love you.” It spilled from your lips brutally, the sound crashing against the walls of the room like thrown fine china.

“Say it again.”

“I love you, Sam.”

“More.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you, you’re everything to me, you’re my stars, my sky, my universe–”

He wrapped his hands tighter around you, tight enough that you could barely breathe. But you didn’t feel the need to breathe, not when you were filled with him, surrounded by him. Your mind started to unravel, giving in to sheer, untethered bliss. Your eyes slipped shut and in the darkness you could see gold.

“I love you too,” he said, softly, casually, like he’d said it a hundred times. Maybe, in his head, he had.

This couldn't be it. This couldn’t be the last time you’d feel him this way. He broke into a steady rhythm, keeping himself buried inside you for the most part, grinding his hips against you.

You mumbled sweet nonsense against his neck, planting kisses between every word, chanting his name like a mantra in the hopes you might stay this way forever. “I never want you to let me go.” Both physically and emotionally, you meant it both ways.

“I can’t,” he breathed. “I can’t imagine me without you. I can’t imagine the sky with no moon and no sun.”

You exhaled a breathy laugh against his skin. “Still so corny.”

“I know how much you love it.”

You had to fight desperately to keep quiet when his hands wrapped around the bottoms of your thighs, lifting and dropping you slightly with each thrust of his hips.

“Stay quiet, baby. You’re doing such a good job.”

He’d never talked to you like this before, never during sex. This was more than just sex, though. What you were doing was something intimate, something deeper, something you both desperately needed. Some kind of closure, or the opening of another door, you couldn’t tell which one quite yet.

A quiet moan slipped past your lips when his hand dropped down beneath you to press against your clit, the perfect amount of pressure, just the way you liked it. His free hand clasped over your mouth, gentle but forceful.

“Quiet, my love.”

My love.

You were getting close to a peak you knew you couldn't keep silent, waves of it washing over your body and sending sparks down your spine, into the tip of every limb. He pulled his hand away at just the right time for you to warn him.

“Sammy, I’m–”

“I know. I can feel it.” You could faintly hear the rumble of his own groans that he caught in his throat, keeping himself quiet with what seemed like great effort.

“Is it better?” He asked.

“What?” You gasped, your focus faltering.

“Do I fuck you better than he does?”

There was no hesitation. “Much better.”

He pulled back a bit, searching for your face in the darkness, finding it and catching your lips in a kiss. There were so many words unsaid that passed through that kiss, every confession, every lie you’d ever told, it was all so glaringly obvious in the way your lips met.

His fingers were digging in tighter against you, his legs starting to shake with effort. He was just as close as you were, fighting, struggling to hold himself back.

“I don’t think I can– oh, god, Sammy, I can’t keep this a quiet one,” you warned him.

“Me neither,” he laughed, breathlessly.

His hand shot up to cover your mouth as you let out a sound that was far too loud. He, too, grit his teeth against whatever noise threatened to make itself known as both of you tipped over the cliffside of your peaks, together. A groan like a sob tore itself out of his chest and he had to cover his own mouth, his head falling back against the couch.

You held onto his shoulders for dear life as he plunged you down into a world of untethered pleasure, his name falling from your lips even though it didn’t make a sound. Stars exploded across your vision, your legs failing you as all you could do was grind helplessly against him. Your hips moved of their own accord, chasing the remnants of bliss.

His fingers gripped your waist after a moment, stilling your movements. “Stop, stop, oh my god,” he whispered, a desperate edge to his voice from the overstimulation.

There was no rush to separate. Neither of you wanted this moment to end. It was clear this was not something you could stop. Your love was an unstoppable force, and you both were incapable of living without it.

“Did you mean it?” His tone was nonchalant, as if he didn’t care what your answer would be one way or the other.

“Of course I did.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

The question caught you off guard, diving in so deep so quickly as you were still dripping into his lap. Gazing into his eyes, and the profound sadness you found there, you spoke a thousand words all at once. Wanted you, got lonely, took the next best thing. You could see it in his face; he understood.

“We need distance,” he sighed. An ironic thing to say, given where he was mere minutes ago. “If we’re not going to date. If we don’t trust each other.”

“But tonight…?” you didn’t finish the sentence, letting it play out in each of your heads.

He didn’t reply, only lifting you off of him, the two of you haphazardly pulling yourselves back together, and he lead you by the hand up to his room.

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clownboymcchucklefuck · 3 months

Text

Zecharias Theory

Before I start rambling, I do want to say that surprisingly a song lyric was what inspired me to write this theory because it made me think of Zecharias and therefore my brain started going off the charts with theorizing. I’ve also wanted to do something with Zecharias for a while now so if this also ends up being a analysis and also a theory at the same time then yall gonna have to deal with it.

“But you made me want to plan out my last days on earth, eating you. The tips of your teeth fit perfect in me. You’re a shower of light I’d devour any day of the week.” -LIGHT SHOWER by Melanie Martinez.

Now you might be thinking how this made me go into full theory mode. So let me explain.

It’s been mentioned a few times/implied that Zecharias has had muses before MC and in the NSFW alphabet it has even mentioned somebody but I’ve only seen who ever this person is mentioned in this one part and hasn't even been asked about smh.

“He hasn't been able to meet a lot of other people, much less get the chance to do the deed with them. At most, he likely could have done it with one person, but they're as inexperienced as he is.

Who is this person? Well, you’ll find out in the game. :>”

But here’s my thing, if what we know about Zecharias not being human then he’s probably immortal especially that I’ve noticed a few implications that he might be a god or demi-god (Hell, bring Percy Jackson into this and say possibly half-blood.) with one part of Be My Muse and there was a few lines about MC being into greek mythology and he brought up the god Mnenmosyne. (HELP I JUST REALIZED THAT'S HIS LAST NAME WHY AM I ONLY PUTTING THIS TOGETHER WHILE I'M WRITING THIS) Well now that I just figured that out it just puts more evidence to back up my theory and of course with all of those powers he has and everything. Now I know that in the SFW alphabet did somewhat imply that he would die for MC if it was to protect them but I think that just might have been figurative language. .

Zecharias eats people too, but it’s also been said he just does this as a way to survive so I’m not about to bash him about that.

“He’s only interested in adults to be his muse or his meals.”

ANYWAYS, Finally to my main theory that made me write this. Zecharias is likely immortal or lives for a very long time. But (from what we know) all of his muses have been human including MC. It makes me wonder what happened to the old muses, I mean of course it’s very likely they died inside of the backrooms, maybe from old age or something else. BUT that also brings the question of what happened to their bodies so going back to the lyrics that made me think up of this theory. I think it’s very possible that Zecharias could have probably eaten the old muses? Since its for his survival to eat humans and him being obsessed with them could prove this. Or he might just have those fuckers stored somewhere in the backrooms lmao.

I don’t know what else to go on about without going into a full analysis of Zecharias which would include me going more into what we know about his backstory so far and me explaining his motives and all that good stuff but I guess I’ll see how this theory does before starting to write all of that jfnlaajan.

Also keep in mind that this is all a theory, A YANDERE VN THEORY- *gets hit with fridge*

Word count: 647.

Zecharias belongs to @letmeremindyouvn

_______________________________

Taggy tags:

@dont-wannadothis-anymore @mr-ritza @mysticnebula

#hehehehehehehe #Yall going to be getting alot more big posts like this now lately dont yall worry #I wrote this in one sitting btw because I'm just good like that 🤭#I really love Zecharias #He has alot of potential and I can't wait until Let Me Remind You comes out #yandere vn #yandere visual novel #yandere #male yandere #visual novel #yandere male #letmeremindyouvn

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utahlive · 1 year

Photo

im sorry utah nation. I played videos game instead of working on an episode,, orz

on an unrelated note, I wanted to ask: does anyone have any tumblr themes or ways to make posts chronological? We have roughly 150 episodes of UtahLIVE, and although most of them can be read out of order, there is a timeline (plus it would be more convenient for new readers. Ive gotten a lot of asks about topics or scenarios that have already been answered). If there are any tutorials/themes/tips let me know via DMs or ask box!

additionally:

LETS GOOOOO!!! This is insane! 4000 people... thats roughly twice the size of the student body at my school. I dont know how many of you guys are porn bots, but im still going to take this W. I feel like I should do something special? People usually do community events for milestones I think so if you have ideas let me know?? Otherwise I’ll have something fun to post in the next week.

+ some quick q&a below

avoiding potential lawsuits 🙏

I know this one is meant for Wilbur, but alas thats just how I draw eyes. Sorry my art style gave your fave character cataracts. yeah its permanent. no sorry we cant fix it. um. insurance doesnt cover the surgery so hes like that forever. yeah. sorry

(i do like to mess with how I draw eyes, but the white color is a stylistic choice)

its a psycho-competitive relationship that can be construed to be romantic (but it's not explicit). obviously

anon im holding your hand so tenderly and lovingly. it means a lot that people like my art! more than I can say, which is why ive been trying to figure out how to answer this ask for the past like... two+ weeks since you sent it in! Im probably gonna hold off on sharing my other accounts for a few reasons (there might be some people who already know my other blogs which is fine idc welcome to my twisted mind etc im just not going to advertise them here). My main blog is basically a spam blog where I dont tag anything. I dont really post original art and my fandom art is few and far between. 90% of my work just goes in discord DMs or servers 💀 I think the main reason though-and this may or may not make sense to some of you-is that I don’t want your opinion of me to change how you view the story. This is a super specific example, but for all my fic readers out there: have you ever joined an authors server, and then after meeting them you feel a bit odd about the fic since the creator isnt exactly the person you thought them to be (not necessarily in a good or bad way)? That’s exactly what I don’t want happening with this blog. Basically: Nooo what if you find out about me as a person and realize im cringeeee aaaaa [image of the werewolf transformation (you know the one)] That being said, we’ll see how things go, I guess! At the very least, I’ll probably put my socials out when I’m done here (we got a ways to go before that happens though, so dont even start to worry about that) that was a lot of text for one answer. yeesh 😬 sorry about that

#utahlive #4th wall break #im a creep. im a weirdo #it is crazy as hell to see blogs and artists I really admire following this account #(image of the guy at the party) they dont know we're mutuals #also for the tntduo romantic ask; the implied answer there is that its up to you #I do have my own interpretation and canon but I know not everyone agrees so Im not gonna make it obvious one way or another #sorry for so many non-answer posts the past few days

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bandsanitizer · 5 months

Note

My man Jack was on a podcast and he wore purple pants and they made me think of you 💜

ahhhh blanca!!!! your man has taste 🤌

also that you thought of me i 🥹💞💞💞💞💞

#blanca!!!#i dont have a tag for asks so i guess i’ll make it this

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bylerfields · 14 days

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maybe it's space curating bc i definitely see the mike side as the higher volume/frequency, i mean most times theres discourse it's bc someone poking at the will preference. like with the polls anons this week that only happened bc an anon said bratty btm mike was obvious and "at most" btm leaning switch, but stating it as fact not opinion. all preferences are opinion for the reasons you said, we only see them until 14 and havent seen their sex life. usually anything else said is just response to the first rudeness, or thats what i see. theres an acc on here who used to comment on btm will fics calling for btm mike instead which i think is very rude for fandom. theres accs on here blatantly posting on the public dash how people who don't prefer subby btm mike are crazy and even not as smart for not seeing it. how is that not rude? then the multiple times spicy polls anons have been rude instead of just sending asks about their preference for mike and making the experience better for themselves. did you see the polls anon that said something and added "anyway btm mike >>>" months ago? i dont think i've seen that from a btm will? i tried really hard to think if i had! but it's those kinds of behavior we dont need amongst us bc no one is better. i follow lots of spicy bylers and havent seen that from btm will or switch bylers, they just post about their preference. i've made moots with people who came from twitter who said it would happen there too, they'd respond to rudeness for not "getting" sub mike and suddenly are the bad guys. so they got tired by the behavior and stopped being active. maybe your dash is more peaceful but i dont see will sides of things saying things until prompted. or with every right to offer an opinion to what was said bc this is a public space. i'm surprised you've seen more for the opposing side? tbh you will have people who are extra who are rude in every side of a ship preference but the 'frequency' to me has been the mike side. i was annoyed when i saw the bratty anon on spicy polls bc i knew it was going to start more annoying discourse that means nothing. how are they shocked people don't share the same preference? thats normal in fandom. you'd have to be new to fandoms to be shocked

anon I unfortunately think this is just a case of you not seeing the rudeness on the other side because you agree with the stance. especially with the sentiment of people not being as smart for not seeing it - that’s like, a pretty pervasive topic in the sfw side of our fandom as far as will goes.

the ao3 comment thing is obviously rude so i’m with you on that.

it could definitely be that i just don’t follow or see posts like that, though i do follow some really kind people with bottom mike prefs. i’ll take your word for it, but i guess i’d say that even the “anyway bottom mike >” posts come across as tongue in cheek, and again, isn’t it okay to share preferences? it’s a little brash, sure, but it shouldn’t be shocking for people to want to express these prefs in the tag, like you said.

i’m saying all this with a pretty clear preference for bottom will, too, so it’s always a little surprising to me that others don’t see it because it’s not like i’m biased. but it’s just always felt obvious to me that bottom mike fans are the minority in the fandom - think about the reason you haven’t seen any of the asks of similar nature for bottom will in spicybylerpolls. there’s no need for it lmao - and it just takes one annoying comment, likely from an anon or someone not active in the fandom (that the op probably made without even thinking) to get 10 people to come to it’s defense with think pieces galore about the canon validity. sure, they have every right to comment on what was said but there shouldn’t be such a big need for defense, i guess?

have you thought about the possibility that theyre likely just experiencing fandom a little differently than you and (other than the ao3 comment thing) are not intending to invalidate you or be rude to you?

even with the recent anon sharing how surprised they were to find that more people didn’t see mike as a bottom, i get how it could come across as invalidating if they weren’t coming from a place of clearly knowing theyre in the minority of opinions. imagine someone saying that around the dinner table with friends. its funny, its a differing take, sure its a little over confident but it’s not rude to anyone - even with an opposing outlook myself i think it sparks fun conversation when someone else is shocked theyre the odd one out. i’m more curious than offended. i may be naive and giving them the benefit of the doubt, but this is often the tone i perceive when i see pro bottom mike posts. i think they’re pretty aware of what the common opinion is.

this is similar to how i feel when i see “where are the bottom mike fics/poll questions/etc? i’m tired of bottom will” again, same situation, if a friend said this in a group of bottom will fans, it doesn’t come across to me as being actually upset and wanting to silence us, it’s just: silly. there’s that surprise of “am i really the only one who didn’t go crazy over [insert xyz thing that mike did in the show], where are my people?” and i think they’re entitled to do so. just as people with our preference are over things we saw in the show. bottom will fans already have their people, it was the default when the polls started. i guess thats all i’m saying.

from my now 1.5 years on the nsfw side, it seems like there’s always going to be an assumption from someone that people sharing opinions about a more subby mike are being spiteful, rude, or trying to be divisive.

you say no one is better, but seem to have a very low tolerance for posts about bottom mike. having the preference is okay, but only if they come with the perfect angelic attitude about it. i’d say we don’t hold the same standard for bottom will posters - and it makes sense that you’re not gonna perceive a (pretty consistent) negative, superior attitude if you’re nodding along to the sentiment.

thank you for the context!!!

#i fear i’ll manage to piss off both sides with this #as per usual #spicy byler

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 3 months

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I want to quit a03 and just delete all my current fanfictions, i haven’t updated any of them in months. I’m tired lol. The main reason why is I haven’t been getting a lot of interactions on my recent stuff and Ik that’s not the point of writing fanfics but idk it’s a nice from motivation. I’m an attention whore, sue me.

What i’m asking i guess is how do u stay motivated??? I have a lot of ideas for things but no drive to make them a reality.

(You probably can tell who i am from this lol but its kinda embarrassing so i wanted to keep it anon)

Oh dude I absolutely get it, for real. While we ultimately write for ourselves, a lack of engagement is REALLY discouraging! I’ve said before that I went through a REAL mental struggle writing The Webs In The Rafters specifically, and that still stands. I had a lot of super nice commenters, and that helped a lot, but it was so, so, sucky to see no engagement other than the same six people. As grateful as I was for them, I really wanted more interaction. I’d see the comment count go up, but no new kudos, and I’d feel like I was failing.

I almost dropped that fic. The only reason I didn’t was my dearest boxwinebaddie regularly doing cartwheels in the comments and messaging me about the story. Encouragement from an author you admire helps SO MUCH and I want to be that person to someone someday!!! The community of ao3 can be toxic, for sure, but it’s so kickass to see the same handful of people in someone’s comms every time you read something from a certain writer!

And man, I am absolutely an attention whore. I thrive on attention. I may be an agoraphobic asshole with no friends other than my partner irl and I may literally panic so bad that I faint when I get spoken to, but we are HUMAN!!! Validation is fucking NICE!!! Being a person sucks absolute ass and confirmation that we’re doing something right helps a lot!

The only advice I have on staying motivated: I’m just fuckin insane. And I’ve said before that the ONLY reason I started writing was bc I had an extremely specific set of tags I wanted to see. I wanted to see more style injury recovery and at the time, a lot of the style fics out there were literally just boring high school aus or Stan being suicidal and I was like helll no let’s switch it up! So I assumed my mission of renovating that ship tag. I wanted sot style h/c with an ungodly amount of comfort? I was gonna have to write it. And that expanded to all aus. I developed the OrangeJuiceVerse specifically with the message of healing as the central theme. And it means so much to me. What I’m getting at is that your work really does have to have something there that’s important to you. If it’s just all random drama with no reconciliation, it’ll be really draining on you and fall flat in your mentality surrounding it.

Another thing is: if you don’t feel like updating, DONT! It’s fanfiction. It’s something you’re putting on the Internet for free. If you aren’t 100% happy with a chapter, there is no obligation to post it! Also, if you aren’t feeling up to working on a wip, mentally or physically, you don’t have to! Come back to it when you are!

On obligation, something I struggle with is my own self imposed habit of daily updates on multichapters. I usually go really wild when I start a new au, and I’ll write for it every day. But for instance, right now, it’s been a couple since I’ve posted a new chap on In The Truly Gruesome. And I have felt some guilt about that, bc I’ve sort of garnered this reputation as someone who updates frequently on multichaps, but I haven’t been feeling so great, so writing isn’t my top priority. A couple lines here and there are what I can manage, and that’s okay! Again, it’s fanfiction. Ultimately, it matters to us as the author, the story can mean the world to us, but we shouldn’t feel obligated to update, because above all we are PEOPLE with LIVES!!!

It’s also important to remember not to treat ao3 as social media. Yes it’s kickass to form a community of like minded authors who all support each others stuff, but it isn’t something that should be expected. And I CANNOT stress enough how important it is not to feel obligated to work on something just bc someone wants you too. I’m a hypocrite, yeah, considering I had no intention of continuing my TFBW oneshot “We Did It We Are A Good Team” until I had someone commenting on my unrelated works asking for a second chapter. I don’t regret writing ch 2, btw, like im really happy with it, but I did cave under pressure to some degree. And that’s not something we should do when writing. Write for YOURSELF and (unless you’re doing an ask book or something) NO ONE ELSE!!!

That’s what I got my dude. If you feel strongly about what you’re writing, by all means write it. If you don’t, don’t feel obligated. I hope this helped!

#asks #south park #fanfiction #ao3 bs #ao3 shit #fic crap

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theartshift · 15 days

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𖦹 Welcome to my Art-Cade !! 𖦹

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【Names: Randy, Rands, Gnarpy, Gnarpz, Abbie 【Pronouns: Xe/It + Neos on my pronounspage (use them) 【Other blogs:@british-randyjade-rambles,@paintgrove-arcade @pixelfez-dialtown,@retros-dialtown-route,@the-dreamcrawlers-lair Blog master list here

follower goal: 261/300

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About me!

I’m a minor!

I am also an artist, and sometimes an animator.

i will often create characters and not use them, feel free to ask if you can use one.

I Kin a lot of characters!! (List later on)

I would really appreciate for you to use Tone indicators

i sometimes roleplay with ocs or fandoms on discord!

TW: BRITISH 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧☕️☕️🫖🫖🗣️🗣️

I have other socials but I’m most active on here and discord

I’m open to be anyone’s father or sibling. (I have 5 kids, Adopted)

Do not use they/them, he/him or she/her on me, read my pronouns page and use those please.

I have a fear of clusters of spots and holes. Please. Uh. Like don’t show me them please 💔

One of my special interests is Phobias ^_^!

I selfship w/ Oliver swift from Dialtown

Typing stuff below ⬇️

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sometimes I may use a typing quirk, S’ will be swapped with Z’s and occasionally Z will be slapped at the end of the word.

This typing quirk is mostly related to when I’m feeling more like gnarpy, so it won’t be as constant. (I can do that right???)

I don’t know if this counts but I guess I have a consistent typing quirk where I’ll miss out letters like typing ‘It’s’ as “ ‘s” and missing out letters at the end of words for speed!

An average sentence from me when addressing people usually starts with “dudes” yes, dudes, even if I’m only talking to one person. It will ALWAYS be plural.

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Kin list + Kin Info

Randy Jade - Dialtown Gnarpy - Regretevator Pilby - Regretevator Abbie - Fundamental Paper Education Visceral - CritterSpace

Some boundaries about these:

Please dont talk sexually about my kins around ME. Dont use your headcannoned gender/sexuality etc on me! I’m my own person!!! Selfshippers, feel free to interact dudes! I’m a self shipper too. Just if you selfship with one of my kins I may not follow you back as it makes me slightly uncomfortable!! please don’t talk seriously about any of my characters death or horrible actions 💔💔💔

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Tags:

Randy Rambles! - Text Posts Randy Scribbled! - Doodles! Randy Art! - Art I drew Randy Reblogs - Reblogs Randys Family - When talking to people I’ve adopted/are my online siblings Randy Asks - Asks Randy Wips - Wips I may post??? Randys Fanmail! - Art/gifts/fan stuff from you!

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oc carrd:

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smirnoffswitchblade · 2 months

Text

♡⸝⸝ about me .ᐟ

includes: introduction, dni/byf, etc . . .

— Finally im making an introduction after putting it off for a bit out of shyness (and laziness..+ being nervous, but i need to push myself to do things sometimes.) but i thought its time you guys know a little bit more about me! ^^

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀. 𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

‼️ • MDNI • ‼️

♡ ····· introduction

• Hello there!! im Sammy, but i prefer to be called Sakura if we aren’t extremely close. <3

• Im 20 years old! Im also a biracial lady, Bisexual, and my pronouns are She/Her! Please refer to me as so when talking to/about me.

• Some of my hobbies include : Cosplay, editing, drawing, photography (beginner), dancing, gaming, writing, reading, and baking!

• I like to associate myself with certain animals, specifically raccoons/deer/rag-doll cats/lambs/bats! Personally i think they fit me very well..so thats why you may see me repost those specific animals from time to time. (cause i think they’re me! ^^)

Tagged with: #irlsaku

• My few of my interests are cosplay, video games, anime, manga, flowers, greek mythology, herbology, nymphology, gloomy coquette and lolita fashion. among others too!

• i love many little men right now..but mainly ive been very lovey dovey over ren hana/fox, strade, lawrence oleander, sano kojima and vincent metzger! their just my favorites at the moment and i tend to self indulge in a bunch of selfshipping with them (persona x canon and oc x canon too!..maybe i will post my btd/tpof ocs here someday.)

♡ ····· DNI / BYF

• DNI: Minors, ageless blogs, zoos/maps, ableist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-xeno/neopronouns, i dont really have a big dni but these are my mains. I block freely.

• BYF: This account is my primary blog and it’s mostly just for me posting/spamming my brainrot of 18+ medias! (also made for self indulgence and other things but i wont speak on that too much) So please please if you are under the age of 18 or do not have an age stating that you are an adult in your bio you will be blocked! This blog and content is not made for your eyes to see and you can get others and the creators in legal trouble and yourself. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, Thank you.

• If you are not a minor but cant handle the topics/media that will be posted on my blog please don’t follow me, this blog again is simply for my hyper-fixations of 18+ medias, my own enjoyment, and more. Don’t hurt/trigger yourself intentionally by looking at the things i put here, and please look out for your wellbeing because you are special! <3 Thank you!

My sfw blog is @crunchysugarr so i wont mix my other medias with this one!

• I have ADHD/PTSD/anxiety and depression, please be mindful of these things when choosing to interact with me whether its in dms or my ask box!

• You can send anything (quite literally anything..) in my asks! I don’t mind it, but ill ignore it if i don’t feel comfortable answering it or if it makes me feel some type of way. Please remember i may take time to reply to them if you ever do send anything to my inbox. (I also ask that you don’t send me irl gore/animal gore/cp/etc in my ask box.)

- I tag my posts with my own hashtags, heres a few of them so you wont be confused about what I’m specifically trying to post!

- aesthetic: #sakuaesth

- rambling: #sakubabbles

- regular blogging: #sakuposting🌸

(This could change overtime but i don’t know if they will but if they do I’ll let you all know! I hate confusing others on accident, hope this helps somewhat!)

• Im still pretty new to the Boyfriend to Death fandom and other fandoms on here too, I’m always learning something new about these pieces of media every single day! so please don’t get upset if i say anything not really lore accurate (?) i guess.

• You can always dm me or reply in my posts freely! But please ask to dm me in my ask box if you do want to talk to me in private, i usually only chat on tumblr and not discord because only people i’m closest to have my discord. But feel free to ask to dm me and we can talk here on tumblr if thats fine with you <3

• Please be patient when it comes to me replying to messages/asks. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming knowing i have to reply to so many people so i may take some time to get back to you all depending on whats going on with me that day, i do have a life outside of tumblr thats way different from how i appear online! But just know i have no intentions of ignoring anybody, i just wanna try and talk to new people for once.

Note: i tend to use emoticons only because i just think they’re adorable simply and i like to use them when texting! (i dont know why i feel the need to specify this so much, or anything else for that matter..but i did!)

♡ ····· other / extra things

ill try and make this as short as possible so you wont have to do too much more reading.. sorry about that!! ^_^’

• on this account the specific content i intend to post is boyfriend to death (1&2), the price of flesh, ykmet, degrees of lewdity, lovers trophy, courtin’ cowboys, this is not romance, and Saw (2004)!

• i can give out some of my other socials below so feel free to follow them if you’d like to, or don’t! i would never force anything upon you or anyone. <3

Twitter: @/crunchysugarr

Pinterest: (the same as my twitter user)

• and i think thats really pretty much everything! i hope you enjoy my company and my blog, if theres any other questions you wanna ask to know other things about me that aren’t listed here then you are free to shoot me an ask anytime! (no pressure of course <3.) Im sure we will become good friends someday! take care ♡

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