#i dont have any reason to deal with any of my family anymore

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I am exhausted. I'm exhausted and I can't keep going at my job. I just can't do this anymore.

The last three days at work have been hell.

First day: I show up and there's no one there. I start work an hour after the store opens and two hours after someone else should've arrived. There was no one. So I texted my boss and started all of the prep, but I wasn't going to open without someone else because fuck that. Finally one of my coworkers showed up because he overslept. To his credit he apologized. Then it was just the two of us for three hours until another coworker came in. Two people didn't show up that day. One called out sick and one just decided not to come.

Second day: The worst and the one I'm saltiest about. I show up and the store isn't open again, but at least there's a coworker there. I didn't see her at first because she was asleep. So we opened, and it was just the two of us for FIVE HOURS until someone else came in. It was the three of us for a single hour until one had to leave and there were just two of us. During peak time. I decided to shut down the drive thru because again, two of us, but a manager from fhe gas station (I work in a restaurant connected to a gas station) came over and told me it had to stay open or I could be fired. The way she said it was so fucking condescending, I nearly told her she could fire me and considered walking out. But I didn't. I had to stay an hour later because only one person, my coworker, was scheduled for that hour and I didn't want to leave him alone. It was so busy we didn't have a chance to breathe, but I still managed to finish a couple end of shift things. Not everything, but some. After that extra hour I HAD TO LEAVE and I apologized to the next manager, told him it was just the two of us and told him what I had managed, and that I needed to go. He just said "Okay." He didn't say "Can you wait while I see if there's anything I need you to do?" Or "Before you go can you finish X?" If he had I would've. But he said "Okay." And I had to fucking go. And again, I had done a surprising amount for the fact that there were two of us. To do everything. All day.

Third day: I show up and there are only two of us again. An hour passes and two more people are supposed to arrive. They don't. They didn't call out, they just didn't show up. Finally, an hour and a half after his shift was supposed to start, one of the two showed up. Three of us running everything. An hour before close one of them had to leave, so it was two of us to close. We stayed an hour and a half late. That's midnight thirty btw. We stayed until midnight thirty because people decided not to fucking show up to their goddamn job and I had to pick up their slack.

Then today, there was a manager's meeting. That includes me. In that meeting, the manager from the second day said, to the damn general manager "I know they were short staffed, but so were we, and this is unacceptable" and handed the GM a list of the shit we hadn't gotten done. Y'know, after I stayed an hour late, after running a shift with two people on one of our busiest days. And by the way, he had four people. Four people for a closing shift is a fucking luxury. He wasn't short staffed by any stretch of the imagination, but he had the fucking audacity to complain about me.

I can't keep doing this. Three days like that nearly killed me. On that second day I cried after my shift because it was so frustrating and overwhelming. It's taking such a horrible toll on me. I dread going to work because I'm afraid it's going to keep being like this. I'm afraid I'm going to show up and no one will be there, or I'll have to deal with a rush with just two people, or some asshole manager will call me out at a meeting with every manager for not being able to leave the restaurant spotless after I stayed a fucking hour late, after running a shift with two fucking people. I wish I didn't have to pay rent because I want to quit. This is ridiculous and I shouldn't have to put up with it, but here I am, putting up with it and still getting shit for it. No matter what I do, no matter the shit they give me, I provide service with a smile and I get absolutely nothing but shit in return.

This is why I hate being a fucking reliable worker. I'm expected to do everything and do it perfectly, while other people will do less than the bare minimum and it's tolerated. I'm held to a higher standard, I'm expected to do all of this and not have a single complaint, but people are welcome to complain about me. I wish I could just not care and not work hard and not show up for half of my shifts, but of course I can't. I can't keep doing this, because one day I'm going to have to run a two person shift or deal with a shitty customer or manager, and I'm just going to walk out and not come back. I don't deserve this shit but of course I'm stuck dealing with it, dealing with the crap that everyone leaves me. I work my ass off all the time, then I have one of the shittiest days ever and can't manage to leave the restaurant perfect, and I get called out in front of everyone. Fuck him. Fuck him fuck him fuck him. I've been pissed about this all day which is why I just had to get it out. I can't keep fucking doing this. I shouldn't have to.

#my last job i was treated like shit too whoch is why i left #but it was my favorite job ever and im so sad that i left it but i couldnt deal anymore #one day i came in ON MY DAY OFF so that i could learn how to clean the oven #i needed to learn so that i could do it when i COVERED MY MANAGER'S SHIFT so she could have Christmas with her family #i came in on my fucking day off to help her and that is the day that i learned all the shit she'd been talking about me #one of my coworkers pulled me aside and told me all she'd been saying. she complained to fucking everyone fhat i never did X Y or Z #THE PROBLEM WITH THAT IS THERE WAS FUCKING PROOF THAT I ALWAYS DID THOSE THINGS #she most commonly said that i never did pull-to-thaw. theres a fucking sheet that we always record numbers for and mark if its been done #anyone could look at that sheet and look in the cooler and confirm that i did it so she was just blatantly lying to all of my coworkers #(the reason she could lie was that i mostly worked alone so usually i didnt have coworkers there to watch me) #she decided to take matters into her own hands for. she changed my schedule so that i had to work with her. i was the only one on my shift #WHICH MEANS THAT SHE LEFT A WHOLE SHIFT OPEN. SO NO ONE DID ANY OF THE CLOSING TASKS. BECAUSE I WASNT THERE #our store manager fixed that real quick #what im most pissed about is that she never told me. to my face she said i was doing great. thanked me for running things on my own #but behind my back she said nasty shit about me to everyone else. have the decency to tell me about it #i cant fix anything if i think its all fine. so i left after i learned that. i applied for a new job that same day #after all i did for that bitch. she had the fucking audacity. after all i do at my current job they have the fucking audacity #i like this job. i loved my old job. the tasks were great and the work was a dream #but i can't stay when i know these people dont respect me. i dont deserve that #that fucking old manager chased two other people out btw. theyre understaffed because people fucking hate her #i bust my ass for people that dont care about me and i cant. i cant keep doing this. i shouldnt have to #this is such bullshit

[normansnt]

Almost got you, bitch

(Hazbin Adam x fallen angel!Male reader)

No warnings I think perhaps cursing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were a fallen angel.

You questioned heavens doings after finding out about the extermination, and of course heaven didn't like that.

When you fell, your best friend, Adam, was the most pissed off. Granted he was the one who told you about it one night when he was drunk and you had to get him home but he didn't know you were gonna make such a fuss about it.

You were in heaven, everything was fine you had your friends there, no one important to you fell before you, and most importantly you had him there, your best friend. Why would you care about those misfits in hell??

All though he shouldn't have been surprised, even though you put on a hard shell and make very similar jokes than himself you are a kind soul, a very kind one at that always helping others. But still, you fell, you are not here with him anymore. That sucked.

*flashback*

Heaven was a pretty new invention and adam and eve were trying to settle, for that god sent an angel, you.

When you knocked on the door adam went to open it.

"Who the fuck is here this early?" Was the first sentence he ever spoke to you.

Now you aint gonna take shit from nobody.

"Im the fuck who is here get you asses moving cuz we're going to heaven" you said with an equally annoyed tone.

Thats when Adam knew he liked you. And with the same amount of sass to each other the two of you became fast friends.

"I Almost got you, bitch" yelled Adam. You guys were playing flying tag cuz he just got his wings and they were completely new to him.

"You wish, fucker" you answer with a shit eating smirk. You were the one to teach him how to fight, the one who helped him through his divorce withe eve, you were his best friend.

*end flashback*

"...Shit" adam called seraphim, an idea occurred to him, how about they move up the next extermination, that way he has a reason to get down there sooner and bring you back, also slather some demons.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up in hell, the first thing you saw was someone trying to cut out your organs.

"WAAHH...MOTHERFUC-- WHAT THE HECK R U DOING??" You jumped up and started yelling at the demon.

"Calm down pretty boy, the cannibals pay good money for fresh organs like yours."

"Well guess what jackass I dont give tiny rats ass how good those fuckers pay you my organs aint for sale" and with that sentence you quickly kicked him in the nuts and when he fell to the ground brocke his neck. Yeah...you were kind but god help people who mess with you...literally.

"Well shit, never had to fight without wings."

"...Interesting, and here I thought I would have to come to your rescue in exchange for your soul." Came a...static voice from behind you.

"Uhhh...thank you?? I guess, but there will be no taking my soul." You looked at the grinning man in a red suit.

"Such a shame, you'd be my first fallen angel"

"...Ok, listen can I help you with something ooooorr??"

"Not particularly I just wanted your soul, but alas that ship has sailed, however since you just fell I assume you have no where to stay" his grin stretched a bit as he said that.

"Well, you assume correctly but Im not gonna agree to any deal you have to offer just for a place to stay"

"Well, well, you are smart one even though angles can be so gullible, but no there is no deal the only thing you'd have to do is perhaps act nice"

"I can do that." you answered finally smiling at the strange man.

"They are coming" you whispered to yourself. After you arrived in hell, Alastor offered you a place in the hazbin hotel and you were happy to take it. This was over 7 months ago, in that time you grew close to everyone who was there, they were your found family and now you will protect them even if its against you first family.

Today was the day of the extermination, the day you'd have to fight heaven, the day you's have yo fight Adam. Even though you never admitted to yourself you had deeper feelings for him than friendship, but since he literally went around fucking bitches that kind of lowered your hopes.

The fight was raging on. Since you were the one who literally trained these exorcists they were no match for you. However Alastor was supposed to take on Adam, and that worried you. You knew how powerful Alastor is supposed to be but you have seen Adam's powers first hand.

Just as you suspected Alastor couldn't take on Adam. So Charlie had to take over which made you even more worried. You climbed up and saw Adam hitting Charlie into the hazbin hotel sign.

"NO" you yelled

Adam turned towards you with a smile that said he was ready to kill, that disappeared however when he saw that it was you.

"(Y/N)...."

He looked at you for a moment when someone punched him out of no where.

"Oh shit" you said while looking at Adam flying away and than back at who punched him. Lucifer.

"Lucy?" U asked baffled. You met him when he was still in heaven. Personally you loved his creative ideas while the making of earth so you guys would talk a lot. You also found it highly unfair when he fell and considered going after him, but Adam held you back.

"...Who--? SHIT (Y/N)? Omg why tf are you down here??" He asked half pissed half happy to see you.

"Well a little this, a little that, you know, also I fucking fell so." You replied while hugging him.

"How many of you fuckers do I have to beat before I can take (Y/N) home with me" said Adam very pissed after crawling out from the window he was punched into.

"What?" You asked

"I'm the only one that matters, you messed with my daughter and now Im gonna fuck you" said Lucifer proudly smirking. Everyone went silent while you were trying to hold back your laughter.

"Khmm...its fuck you up, dad" corrected Charlie

"Wait what did I say?" Asked Lucifer confused.

After this a kind of...fight started between Lucifer and Adam. Well, only adam was fighting Lucifer was mostly changing forms.

It was quite funny to watch.

At the end Lucifer won over Adam and he wanted to kill him, but your body moved on its own and you threw yourself at Adam.

Charlie also told his dad to stop.

You stood up from Adams body.

"Take your angel army, and go home" you told him in a soft tone.

He painfully stood up and looked at you with sadness...and something you couldn't quite place.

"(Y/N)..." come with me, please. Is what he wanted to say, but he knew you are still mad at him and that your answer will be no. Or he just didn't want to seem vulnerable in-front of demons.

"I Almost got you, bitch"

Your lips twitched upwards a little bit.

"You wish, fucker"

And with that the angel army and adam flew up to heaven.

When adam arrived in heaven, something downed on him.

"Fuuuuuuckkk..IM GAY-"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is he an (at best) mid white man who thinks he is the shit?

Yes.

Is he a fucking loser though and a lil bitch

Also yes.

BUT YK WHAT.

HE IS FUNNY AF I LOVE HIM AND HIS SONGS R FUCKING AWSOME.

HOPE MY FELLOW ADAM ENJOYERS LIKED IT THOUGH😎

I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies gentleman and others, good afternoon good evening and good night🦖🧡

#male reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin x you #hazbin hotel x male reader #male y/n #hazbin adam #adam x reader #gay fanfiction

[loversj0y]

id meet you where the spirit meets the bones

inspired by @lillylvjy's ghost au! go give it a read and give lilly some love!!

wilbur soot x gn! reader

TWs: death, lots of talks about death, reader cries a few times, nightmares, reader nearly dies, stalking, body horror, slightly suggestive stuff (wilbur is flirty af)

word count: 13k. i am not sorry

note: this has not been edited/beta read at all. also i know jack shit about ghosts tbh aside from the light pagan/spirit work i used to do so. dont take any of the ghostly advice here seriously its all for spooky vibes and ambiance. also if anyone can notice the red flags i include at a Specific Section i will give u a smooch, title taken from ivy by taylor swift

taglist: @l0veb0mb1ng, @core-queen

You didn’t believe in ghosts. You weren't strong in this opinion, it was just a matter of not believing everything you saw on the internet. You never had any personal experiences with ghosts yourself, so you had no reason to actually believe in them. 

While this didn’t mean a lot, it did mean that the house everyone avoided on the corner was about to be yours. 

You knew the stories and the warnings:

Be careful! You know they say those boys haunt those walls!

It was brutal what happened here, are you sure it’s safe? 

Good luck! They say those who move in there either leave dead or never leave! 

Honestly, it didn’t deter you. A brutal murder of two brothers in the 90s should have scared you. However, you went in for a showing, and the place seemed perfectly fine. It was the cheapest place you could buy, and you couldn’t stand having a landlord anymore. Ghosts are miles better than landlords, at least they live in the place and don’t just act like they do. 

You took the deal. The move in process was pretty easy, too. You borrowed a work friend’s truck, and you and her brought in some of your heavier furniture (your old mattress, the couch you bought on Facebook, the TV you got from a friend who couldn’t take it with him), and the rest of the boxes you and her just piled into the living room. You thanked her, paying her for her help as well, and then it was just you, standing in your new, box-filled living room. 

You took a deep breath as you looked around, almost stunned by the stillness of the room. You’d never actually lived on your own before, always some family or roommate with you, so it was… almost uncomfortable to see an empty room with no sound. 

The silence was broken after a moment, though, your phone ringing loudly from the kitchen counter. You walked over and answered, starting to unpack as you spoke on the phone. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, sweetie, how’s the move going?” It was your mum, voice kind and welcoming. 

“It’s good, mum,” you chuckled, opening up your first box of kitchenware, “Working on boxes now.”

“That’s good, I’m glad to hear it.” You could hear her smile through the phone. “The place is nice?”

“Yeah, the house is really nice,” you carefully shifted some pots into the back of the cabinet, “it’s an older house, but it’s lovely. The backyard is really pretty too, I think you’d love it. Really peaceful.”

“Oh, love, not to be rude, but I don’t imagine I’ll be coming there anytime soon.”

“I know, I know, you don’t like the drive.”

“Well, yes, but…” you could hear the apprehension in her voice, “sweetie, you’ve heard about this… place you’re living in, of course. I’m not sure how safe it is.” 

You chuckled, standing up fully and leaning against the kitchen counter, “Never took you for a believer in ghosts, mum.” 

The air felt a bit tense around you. 

“Well, when you’re my age, sweetheart, you’d rather not test your luck.” 

That brought a laugh out of you, “Mum, you don’t look a day over thirty.” You smiled, looking around the house a bit. “Besides, have you even heard the full story?”

“I’ve heard about the brutal murder part, but I suppose not much else.” 

“It was two boys,” you sighed softly, “Eighteen and twenty-six. If ghosts are even real, I don’t imagine they’d want to cause much trouble. If anything, they’d probably be scared.” 

A rattling sound came from your left, causing you to falter in your words. You walked to see the source of the noise, quickly noticing a few of the pots still in the box had shifted, presumably having fallen over.

You continued speaking easily, “I mean, god, mum, imagine dying and being forced to live in the place you were killed while seeing tens of people move into your home. I’d be confused and scared too.”

“I suppose,” you heard your mother reply, and it felt like some of the tension left the room. “Either way, just promise me, you’ll be safe? If anything seems amiss, I can call my sister-“

“Oh, god, mum, Aunt Cate couldn’t tell a ghost from a sock, I’d rather not have her in here spewing her Catholic bullshit.”

Your mother laughed, and it made some of the homesickness fade a bit, “Fair enough, dearie. Listen, I’ve got to run, but call me tomorrow, please?”

“I will, mum. I love you.”

“Love you too, dear.” 

The line hung up, and you sighed softly, hanging your head for a moment. It felt too quiet already. You opened up Spotify, choosing some random playlist and continuing your work with unpacking. You played some soft indie music, gentle but upbeat guitar flowing from your phone's speaker as you finished unpacking your kitchen. You started working on the living room items, small knick knacks and photos being arranged carefully. 

As you cleaned, the playlist took a bit of a wild turn. Instead of the soft plucking of a guitar, the next song starts, and you’re immediately stunned by the sound of some electronic-sounding music. You walked over to your phone which — you didn’t remember leaving it unlocked — was playing a song called “Able Sisters”. From Animal Crossing. Very odd choice. It wasn’t bad though, so you pretty much just shrugged it off, going back to unpacking. 

Nothing else weird really occurred that night, and you wouldn’t even consider the music thing that weird. It just was technology being weird. You ordered food, sitting cross-legged on the couch and watching a movie while you ate. After you ate, you cleaned up after yourself and became acutely aware of how you felt far more Adult than you ever had before. You sat back down and relaxed for the first time all day. You were curled into the side of the couch, and to your surprise, you actually didn’t feel very alone. You figured by now you’d be going through your contacts, calling anyone just to feel like there was another person with you. It wasn’t long before you’d fallen asleep, and if you woke up with a blanket around you that certainly hadn’t been near you the night before, you didn’t notice. 

You finished your move-in process with little hassle. By the end of the week, you were pretty much completely moved in, save for a few boxes that you had to bring up to the attic. You began to understand why people thought the house was creepy, especially with the amount of creaks and noises you’d hear throughout the day, but given the age of the house, it didn’t bother you. 

You carried the boxes upstairs, opening the door to the attic and stacking them up in the corner. You looked around at the attic, smiling softly. There were signs that the attic was lived in, and it was actually kind of nice to see. There were a few things that had been left behind from past owners, and you walked around, taking a look at some of the items. There were a few boxes with things like old clothes, and from looking at them, it hit you that these weren’t any items that had been left behind, but rather the items left behind by the two dead boys’ family. It sent a shiver down your back, but it made you more sad than scared. You went back to one of your boxes, pulling out an old candle and a spare box of matches. There was a small table in the corner of the room, and you set the candle down, lighting it. 

Even though you didn’t think there was anyone here, you still spoke outloud, “it’s not much, but I hope it’s something.”

You went back to looking through some of their items, trying to find anything that seemed important to add to the corner table. It relieved you to see that most of the items were non-sentimental items. There were no photos or family heirlooms that had been left behind, just normal items. You did find some smaller objects that you could add to the small table, though, like a red beanie and two CDs. You walked around the small attic a bit more, smiling at an acoustic guitar you found stashed behind some of the boxes. You were shocked by the lack of dust, but it was even more shocking that the guitar was in tune. You didn’t know how to play much except for a few simple chords, so it was at least nice to know there was one up here.

The next object you found was also hidden. It was stashed in the very corner, hidden in a small crevice between paneling in the wall. It was a small compass. You held it up to the light, gently trying to clean some debris off of it. The weird thing happened when you turned the compass over, noticing a small engraving on the back. Before you could read it, though, the compass flew out of your hand, hitting the wall before rolling back into the crevice that you’d found it. 

Okay. Definitely weird. You felt your opinion of whether or not ghosts existed being swayed. 

“Okay,” you said, backing up a bit, “Sorry. I won’t touch it again.”

You spoke simply. If ghosts were real, you still did believe that they’d probably be more scared than anything, especially if someone was touching their things. And there wasn’t a problem until you’d touched the compass, so you figured that must’ve been something important. If it was something important, you didn’t want to mess with it. It wasn’t yours, point-blank. So, instead, you went back to cleaning up the attic, sorting through boxes and neatly arranging them, and adding small things you’d find to the table in the corner. By the time you finished it was nearly dinner, so you carefully put out the candle (not wanting it to be burning unsupervised) and went downstairs to make dinner.

The few days past that went by with pretty much no weirdness. You truly weren’t sure what to believe now. You almost thought yourself crazy, but it was probably just a side effect of not having left the house since you’d moved in. You had work today, though. It was your first day back, and for whatever reason, you felt nervous. You definitely seemed it too. You nearly burnt your breakfast, cursing and fretting around the kitchen, a slight shake to your hands. You chose an outfit for the day, setting it on the bed. You rushed to take a shower, leaving the bathroom humid and steamy. You got dressed and finished making yourself look presentable before making some coffee to bring with you to work. You kept fretting with your hair and fidgeting. You walked back to the bathroom, trying to double check your hair. The mirror was still fogged up, causing you to groan. 

Instead, though, you felt your brain short-circuit as you leaned back and words started slowly appearing on the foggy of the mirror. 

‘Don’t worry. You look amazing.’

A blush rose to your cheeks as you took a moment to process. 

Ghosts?

Yeah. Ghosts.

Nice one, though, at the very least. You weren’t exactly going to scream and run when the compliment did actually help relax you a bit. 

“Thank you,” you smiled softly, focusing on the matter at hand a bit more. 

“Can you write your name, if you don’t mind? I’d like to know who I’m living with.” The question felt a bit risky, especially since this was the first time you’d gotten proper confirmation that he existed. 

‘Wilbur. And the other one is Tommy.’

You nodded, “Well, thank you, Wilbur.” You thought for a moment before your phone alarm went off, letting you know you had to leave for work. You cursed, sighing, “Okay, I have to go, but I’d like to talk more when I get back. Is that possible?”

You awaited a response, and you got one after a moment. 

‘:)’

Okay. That’s good. At least you think it is. 

You nodded, pulling your bag up on your shoulder before walking to the door. You paused at the door, turning back,

“Bye, Wilbur. Bye, Tommy. I’ll be home later!” you spoke out into the empty room, hoping they were there to hear it, before rushing out the door to work. 

Work was uneventful for the most part. A few coworkers asked about your new place, asking if you’d heard any ghosts or creepy things. You decided to lie, telling them that you hadn’t experienced anything. The last thing you’d wanted was people somehow confirming the existence of ghosts and either considering you crazy or trying to make a spectacle of the boys. It was bad enough that they weren’t allowed to move on in the afterlife, you didn’t want to make things worse for them. 

You did spend quite a bit of your freetime at work looking things up about ghosts, however. Most of the stuff you found was pretty fake from the looks of it, but honestly, up until you’d moved in, you never even thought about if ghosts were real or not. You found a lot of potentially good information too, though, about pendulums and spirit boards and how to make them at home. 

When you got home, you opened the door slowly, humming as you walked in, “Hi, Tommy. Hi, Wilbur. I’m home.” There was a smile on your face. You didn’t get much of a response, not that you were really expecting one, but there was a knocking that let you know you were at least heard.

You went to your room, grabbing an old necklace. It was a simple necklace, a thin silver chain and a small guitar pendant. You also grabbed a pen and a sheet of paper. After a moment, you had an idea as well, printing out a morse code guide. You sat down in front of your coffee table, writing out a circle with ‘Yes’, ‘No’, and ‘Maybe’ written along opposite sides of the circle. You also put the morse code sheet next to you, sighing softly. Okay, communing with the dead. This is nothing. Sure. You can do this.

“So, if you’re ready, and want to communicate, can you move the pendant to yes?” You asked outloud, holding up your necklace over the circle. After a moment, the pendant started swinging to ‘yes’, and you took a slow breath.

“Okay, so for yes and no, we can use this. If you want to elaborate, you can knock with the morse code here, and I can work it out. Does that work?”

Once again, the pendant swung to yes. 

You nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Who am I talking to right now? Is this Wilbur? Or Tommy?”

You got no response from the pendant. Instead, you heard knocking on the table, and you started scribing the knocking.

‘-... --- - ....’

You looked down at the sheet. ‘Both’. 

You nodded, thinking for a moment, “Is it okay that I’m here?”

The pendant swung to ‘yes’, and you let out a soft breath of relief. 

“Are you guys okay? I mean, it-it’s probably scary being stuck as ghosts and such, so…”

There was a long pause before you got any response. 

‘.. / .- -- / -. --- - / ... -.-. .- .-. . -.. / .. / .- -- / .- / -... .. --. / -- .- -.’

‘I AM NOT SCARED I AM A BIG MAN’ 

Before you could even respond, there was more knocking.

‘... --- .-. .-. -.-- --..-- / - .... .- - / .-- .- ... / - --- -- -- -.-- .-.-.- / .-- . .----. .-. . / --- -.- .- -.-- / - .... --- ..- --. .... --..-- / ..-. --- .-. / - .... . / -- --- ... - / .--. .- .-. - .-.-.-’

‘sorry, that was Tommy. We're okay though, for the most part.’

You chuckled softly, “That’s good to hear. Sorry, Tommy, I didn’t mean any offense.”

‘.. - .----. ... / ..-. .. -. . .-.-.- / -.. --- -. .----. - / - --- ..- -.-. .... / -- -.-- / -.-. --- -- .--. .- ... ... / .- --. .- .. -. --..-- / - .... --- ..- --. .... .-.-.-’

‘IT'S FINE. DON'T TOUCH MY COMPASS AGAIN, THOUGH.’

“Oh, of course,” you hummed, “if you want, I can set up an area in the attic for you guys to keep more private things. Two areas, actually, so you guys have your own space. Does that work?”

The pendant swung to ‘Yes’ incredibly fast, and you chuckled. 

“Alright, good to hear, then. Speaking of, is there anything you guys want me to do differently? Or maybe that you want me to stop doing?”

There was another long pause.

‘-. --- .. ... .’

‘Noise.’

“Noise?”

‘.-- . .----. .-. . / -- --- .-. . / ... . -. ... .. - .. ...- . / - --- / .-.. --- ..- -.. / -. --- .. ... . ... / -. --- .-- .-.-.-’

‘We’re more sensitive to loud noises now.’

You nodded, “Okay. When I put on the TV or music, just knock and I can turn it down. Or, if you’re able to, you can turn it down yourself. I’m not sure what I can do about my alarm, though… I need them loud to wake up.”

‘.-- . / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / .-- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..-’

‘WE COULD WAKE YOU’

“You could?”

‘.. / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. .-.-.- / -.. --- / -. --- - / .-.. . - / - --- -- -- -.-- / .-- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- / .... . / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -... .-. . .- -.- / ... --- -- . - .... .. -. --. .-.-.-’

‘I could. Do not let Tommy wake you. He will break something.’

You giggled a bit, nodding, “Alright. Sure. I don’t have work tomorrow, so we can test it out, and if not, we can see what else we could do.”

The pendant swung to ‘Yes’, and you hummed happily. 

“Alright, if that’s everything, then I’m going to make dinner. But, if you need to get my attention, just knock three times. Or if you have a better way, you can do that too, but still. This is your home before it was mine, and I want to make it be comfortable for you both. You guys are more just like… my ghost roommates. Okay?”

The pendant swung to ‘yes’ once again before you gently set it down. 

You stood, going to the kitchen before speaking again, “Oh, and if you want to use anything that’s in the living room, feel free. I don’t mind. If it’s something in my room, just ask first.”

You turned on some music as you started cooking, keeping it low for their sake. You were in your element when you cooked, finding comfort in the motions as you thought about today. Ghosts were real. It was not something you could be indifferent to anymore. Ghosts are real, and not just that, you also lived with two of them. It was actually nice, though. You didn’t feel alone, at least. 

You hummed to yourself as you cooked, leaning up on your tiptoes to try and grab a plate from one of the top shelves. You struggled, nearly dropping the plate before it carefully was lifted, seeming to float down from the shelf. Even if you couldn’t see the ghost, you could feel how close he was to you as he gently set the plate down on the counter.

“Thank you,” you spoke softly, cheeks tinted pink. You smiled, once again feeling relieved by the fact that you weren’t alone. In a house known for being scary, you’d never felt safer. 

You finished the rest of dinner with ease, taking a plate and walking back to the living room. When you walked back in, you noticed something interesting. The seat on the far left of the couch, while still empty, had your Rubix cube floating, turning occasionally. You chuckled softly, sitting to the far right to eat your dinner. You looked back at the Rubix cube, trying to figure out which one was playing with it.

“Is there anyway for me to tell the difference between you both? Since I can’t see you?”

The Rubix cube paused in it’s movements, and for a moment, you almost wondered if you scared them off. 

After a moment, the pendant you had been using earlier lifted, and you watched as the necklace floated to presumably be placed around a neck. 

‘.-- .. .-.. -... ..- .-.’

You looked down at the paper. ‘Wilbur.’

You nodded, understanding quickly. “Hold on, I’ll get one for you, Tommy.” You set the plate down, hurrying back to your room and grabbing another old necklace. This one was simpler, a thin black chord with a small silver dog-tag on it. 

You walked back in, moving towards the Rubix cube, “Here, Tommy.” 

You felt a cold tingle on your hand as the necklace lifted, slowly being arranged around his neck as well. To you, it was just two floating necklaces. However, it gave you enough distinction that you could at least tell who was who.

You smiled, sitting back down to finish eating. You turned on a movie, though you didn’t pay too much attention. You were incredibly aware of the two ghosts sitting next to you. It was Wilbur sitting next to you and next to him was Tommy. It was almost weird how comfortable you felt with them here. Even if they’d been here the entire time, it was different now that there was actual confirmation that they were here. You didn’t know anything about ghosts. You felt completely out of your element. You knew that they could interact with the environment, since they could pick stuff up and put things on, but you didn’t know what else they could do. Could they make noises? Could they become full-blow apparitions? As little as you knew, you felt worried about asking. It took a few days just for them to actually let you know they existed. The last thing you wanted to do was scare them away in their own home.

Could they even leave if they wanted to? People only ever spoke about them being here in the place they were killed. They probably wouldn’t even want to stay here if they had a choice. It made you upset to think about, the fact that they may not have a choice in this whatsoever. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to yell or cry or hug them because of it. 

You stood up and cleaned your plate, chewing on your lip while you did. You wished you could help them. If they wanted it. That was another thing you had to consider. Maybe they were happy here. You didn’t know, honestly, and you wanted to know. For now you wouldn’t ask, though. Maybe, hopefully, when you got closer with them. 

You walked back over to the couch, sitting back where you had been before. The TV had changed to some ghost show, and it almost made you laugh. You went to grab the remote, but knocking stopped you.

‘- .... .- - / .. ... / -. --- - / .-- .... .- - / .. - / .. ... / .-.. .. -.- . --..-- / - .... . ... . / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. / .-- .-. --- -. --. ..- -. …’

‘THAT IS NOT WHAT IS IT LIKE, THESE FUCKIN WRONGUNS,’

You snorted, chuckling a bit, “Yeah. Most of these ghost hunting shows are completely made up.” You looked, noting that it was Tommy who had moved. “They fake everything, so they can keep making money, Tommy. It’s stupid. They’ve probably caused more harm than anything else.”

‘- .... .- - .----. ... / -.. ..- -- -... .-.-.- / - .... . -.-- / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. / .--- ..- ... - / .- ... -.- / ..-. .. .-. ... - --..-- / .- - / .-.. . .- ... - / - --- / -... . / .... --- -. . ... - / .- -... --- ..- - / .. - .-.-.-.’

‘THAT’S DUMB. THEY SHOULD JUST ASK FIRST, AT LEAST BE HONEST ABOUT IT.’

You sighed, nodding, “I agree. I mean, if there are ghosts there, they’re probably just annoying them. Or even worse, they’re probably scaring them.”

You got no response to that, deciding instead to change the channel to something more lighthearted. 

You started getting tired, and you grabbed your blanket, pulling it over your legs. You spread it out as well, letting it cover both of the boys as well. You noticed and looked curiously as you could “see” their legs through the blanket. Obviously, it was just the outline of their – bodies? Ghost form? God, it was starting to confuse you a bit. You chuckled a bit when you noticed, though, smiling softly. At least you weren’t going completely crazy. 

You leaned back a bit, leaning your legs on the coffee table as you watched the TV. You felt the cushion behind you shift slightly, a cold and tingly feeling coming across your shoulders. You looked to your right, seeing Wilbur’s necklace shift a bit. Huh. Did he- was his arm around your shoulder?

You felt yourself flush a bit, leaning into the sensation. The tingling feeling went away slowly, and you felt yourself relaxing more and more. It didn’t take much longer before you fell asleep.

When you woke up, you were in your bed. You didn’t remember how you got there. What you did wake up to, though, was a gentle shaking and a chill on your arm. Your eyes fluttered open, and you were met with the sight of a floating necklace. You almost laughed out of absurdity, blinking the sleep out of your eyes. 

“Good morning to you too, Wilbur,” you chuckled, slowly sitting up. “Thanks for waking me.”

You stretched, and the only reply you got was a gentle knocking on your nightstand. There was no pattern or morse code used, just a few taps to let you know he was responding. 

You stood and got started with your morning, and you noted the soft sound of the necklace Wilbur wore as he followed you out to the living room. It was harder to spot Tommy. What wasn’t hard to spot was the girl sitting in your living room. 

“Uh… hello?” You asked, and the girl’s head whipped around to see you. 

“Oh! Sorry! Tommy let me in.” 

… What? “What? He did?”

She stood, walking over to you, outstretching her hand, “I’m Molly.”

You shook her hand, nodding, “Nice to meet you. Wait- I’m sorry- you know Tommy?”

She nodded quickly, and you noted a light blush on her face, “Yeah. I’ve been visiting this house for a long time, so I’ve known Wilbur and Tommy for a while. Tommy and I are really close.” 

You nodded slowly, “Right. Okay. I didn’t realize they had friends.”

“Tom and I are a bit closer than that,” she blushed darker, rubbing the back of her neck, “Wait, you know about them, too. And you’re staying here?” “Yeah. It’s their house, I’m just living in it,” you shrugged. “You and Tommy are… dating?”

“Essentially. Sorry about just coming in, he said you wouldn’t mind.” 

“It’s alright. I mean, bit of a scary way to wake up, to be honest, but if he trusts you, and you do this often, then I’m sure you mean no harm.”

She smiled, “I really don’t. I just liked giving them company at first, and then Tommy and I got closer, so…” the blush returned, and she leaned back into what you assumed were Tommy’s arms, now that you noticed his necklace behind her. 

“Alright. Cool. As long as you don’t break shit, I don’t mind.”

Molly nodded quickly, “of course! I usually can’t stay long anyways. I just like stopping by on my way to work or when I have a day off from classes.”

“Alright,” you nodded, walking to the kitchen, “well, if you ever want, I can clean up the spare room for you to stay in if you need it. Do you want any coffee?”

“I’m good, thank you, though.” Molly smiled, moving to sit back on the couch. Wilbur was still behind you as you started brewing coffee, and you could faintly feel his hand on your back. 

You grabbed a notepad, holding out a pen for Wilbur and whispering to him, “So, they’re dating?”

‘Yep. She’s really nice.’

You nodded, humming softly, “She seems so. Do you like her?”

‘Yeah. She’s good for Tommy. He would get pretty lonely when it was just me here and everyone else would leave due to us being here. Plus, it’s funny to watch him get flustered whenever she comes around.’

You chuckled, nodding. “Alright. I’m glad he has someone then. Are there others? Do you have anyone?”

‘There were others. We don’t know what happened to most of them since they all pretty much just stopped coming around. But if you’re asking if I’m single, darling, I’m very much available ;)’

You flushed, turning to grab your coffee, “I- I just meant if I should expect any other visitors or anything.” You took a sip as he replied.

‘Nope. Just her. And don’t get shy on me now, love. You’re too cute to hide your face from me.’

You choked on your coffee, face turning a beet red as you coughed. 

Molly ran in, looking at you with concern, “Are you alright?”

You nodded, giving her a meek thumbs up as you calmed down, “‘m fine.” You coughed a bit more, slowly taking in a breath.

Molly looked down at the notepad, grinning after a moment, “Ohh, I see. You’ve caught Wilbur’s attention, then?”

“Guess so,” you rubbed the back of your neck, a blush still resting on your cheeks.

“No wonder he seemed so happy when he talked about you.” She giggled, turning.

“Wait- talked about me? You can hear them?”

She turned back, looking a bit confused, “Uh, yeah. I’m actually shocked they haven’t spoken to you yet. Though, it took them a long while before they started talking back to me too, so I guess it makes sense.”

“So, they can speak then?”

She snorted, “Yeah. Of course they can. Do you- you don’t know much about ghosts, do you?” You shook your head slowly, “I didn’t even know if they were real before this.”

“Oh,” she hummed, “Well, as I’m sure you know now, they are very real. Tom and Wilbur and most ghosts are really cool. They’re just kind of doing their own thing. Some can be less than friendly, but don’t worry about them too much.”

You nodded as you listened, “How do you know so much about this?”

She shrugged, “I’ve been talking with ghosts since I was a kid.”

“Huh. Alright, well, you clearly know more about it than I do. Anything you can tell me, I’d be glad to hear.”

She thought for a moment, “Tommy’s favorite color is red. And Wilbur’s is teal,” she perked up, “Oh! And Tommy’s birthday is April 9th, and Wilbur’s is September 14th,” she smiled.  “It’s probably best if they tell you more about themselves, though.”

You nodded, “Right, well, thank you, though.”

She grinned, “Of course. Have fun with Wilbur,” she giggled, and it made your cheeks flush once again as she walked back out to the living room. 

You took a deep breath, leaning against the counter. Wilbur was still by you, and you watched as the pen lifted once more. 

‘Didn’t mean to make you choke. Sorry for taking your breath away ;)’

You snorted softly, “Oh, you very well meant it. But I don’t mind.”

‘Oh? Good to know then. I am glad you’re okay, though. Don’t need three ghosts in one place.’

For some reason, him wanting you to be okay made you flush more than any of his actual flirting.

A few weeks had gone by, and now, you had fallen into a comfortable routine. Wilbur was always ready to flirt, it seemed, whether it be through morse code, notes left around your house, or by using your phone to play romantic songs. It was really nice. Your week always followed a similar pace, you’d go to work on the weekdays, spend time with the boys when you got home, and Molly would come over on Saturday mornings and most of Sunday to hang out with you and Wilbur, but mostly Tommy. You learned more about her, learning that she was going to a University nearby, and that she’d moved to this town a few years back, where she quickly started visiting the boys after learning about the rumors of them in town. You learned more about Wilbur and Tommy too. Wilbur liked indie music and cats. Tommy liked songs that reminded him of being alive and video games, watching them and playing them if he could. You really enjoyed your routine, and you had grown to genuinely care about them.

The first time you hear Wilbur’s voice was an accident. It was late, about three A.M., and you couldn’t sleep. It was a weekend, thankfully, but you couldn’t stand just sitting there in the dark anymore. You got up, walking around the living room when you heard soft music playing. Curiously, you walked up towards the attic where the sound was coming from. You could make out the sounds of a guitar, and from outside the door, you could hear singing. And my god, it was beautiful. He had a soft voice, melodic but not too deep. After listening for a moment, you opened the door, searching for the sound.

While you didn’t see him, you saw the guitar perched up, so you knew it was Wilbur. You walked in slowly, as if treading on eggshells. 

“Your voice is really lovely,” you spoke softly, standing in front of the chair Wilbur was on. 

It was silent before you heard his actual speaking voice. 

“Darling, what are you doing up? It’s late.”

You took a deep breath upon hearing his voice properly for the first time. “Couldn’t sleep, and I heard music, so I got curious, I guess,” You sat down in front of him, “You’re speaking. I’m sorry if I wasn’t meant to hear you, I just…” you couldn’t really think up more of an explanation, shrugging.

“it’s alright. I was mostly just trying to spare you from hearing Tommy talk your ear off,” he chuckled, and if his singing wasn’t melodic enough, his laugh alone definitely was. 

You chuckled, smiling softly, “Well, I’ll make sure to be prepared for that in the morning.”

He chuckled once more, “Good. He’ll be wanting to say a lot now that he can.” He hummed softly, “do you want me to play for you? Since you can’t sleep?”

“That would be really nice,” you smiled, rubbing at your eyes a bit.

“Alright. Let’s go to your room then? It’s probably far more comfortable than sitting up here.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to disturb you too much or anything.”

He nodded, “I only came up here so I wouldn’t wake you. Come on,” you watched as the necklace and guitar lifted, signifying that he’d stood up. You and him walked back to your room quietly, and you laid back down once you got there. You felt the bed dip next you, and you saw the guitar shift into a playing position. He started playing, and you heard him start singing once again. His gentle sounds quickly lulled you into sleep.

And if you woke up feeling a bit colder than usual, and more specifically a cold spot where an arm would have wrapped around your waist, neither of you mentioned it. 

Tommy did talk your ear off that morning, excited to finally be able to talk to you, making comments about how “he’d wanted to talk to you weeks ago” and that “he’d only kept quiet because Wilbur said he had to.” Communication was a lot easier now that they felt comfortable speaking to you. There was a consequence to hearing them now, though. Wilbur’s flirting only got more bold. When you’d get ready for work, he’d always meet you outside your room with a smart comment about how “lucky those coworkers of yours are if they get to see you looking like that all day”. It was interesting, though, the little things you’d noticed about him. He was always more flirty during the daytime, but once it was night, he was more soft. You’d grown used to the chilled feeling that comes from his arms wrapping around you as he whispered about how glad he was that you’d stayed. 

He didn’t really sleep. Neither of them needed it, but you found that Tommy liked to, so you always kept the bed in the spare room neat for him. While Wilbur didn’t like to sleep, he was protective of you. It was a bit odd at first that he wanted to be with you when you’d slept, but you found a great deal of comfort in feeling the chill from him pressed against you while you slept. Especially on some nights like tonight. 

It wasn’t often you got nightmares anymore. They grew less frequent when Wilbur would hold you in your sleep, but he didn’t always do that every night. You didn’t know what he did when he wasn’t here with you, but you weren’t going to ask. He deserved his privacy, after all. Despite it, you did always miss the feeling of his arms around you. He wasn’t with you when you’d gone to bed. 

You woke up screaming. Within seconds, you were pressed against your headboard, head pressed in your hands while you sobbed and gasped for breath, thumb placed on your pulse point. Tommy actually arrived first, your door flinging open and his necklace swinging wildly. 

Before he had time to react, Wilbur was rushing in quickly behind him, going straight for you. You felt his arms wrap around you tightly, and the cold did a great deal to shock you out of the panic, leaving you just sobbing. You wrapped your arms around him, though it took you a second to process how he was positioned. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he whispered softly, “you’re right here, you’re with us, it’s okay.” 

You leaned into his reassurance. Eventually, you felt more movement on the bed, and Tommy’s hand rested on your back gently as both boys helped you calm down. Your hands gripped onto the feeling of soft fabric that you couldn’t see. 

Wilbur continued to whisper reassurances and reminders that you were okay and that he wouldn’t let anything hurt you. When you stopped crying, Wilbur slowly helped you lay back down, never letting go of you for a second. He didn’t want you to think you were alone, even for a second. 

You were exhausted when he laid you down, still wrapped in his arms. Your eyes opened, and for a moment, you could’ve sworn you saw the slightest bit of a faded blue sweater through bleary, tear-stained eyes. You didn’t think about it too long, and instead you went to bed in Wilbur’s arms with Tommy next to you, falling asleep quickly from the exhaustion. 

(When you woke up, you basically had to wrestle to get out of bed between Wilbur holding you close and Tommy’s limbs strewn out over the two of you. But with a bit of wrangling, you chose to stay in bed and wouldn’t have changed it for the world.)

While your routine was good, there were still some rougher days. Work could go so well before things went wrong. Like today, when you’d fucked up an assignment and proceeded to get yelled at by your boss for about thirty minutes before hiding to cry in the bathroom. You calmed yourself down enough to at least look like you hadn’t cried, using some cold water to calm the redness down your face. You walked home slowly, opening the door, and you were quickly met with Wilbur’s voice chiming out from the living room.

“Welcome home, darling! How was work?”

You dropped your bag at the door, shrugging, “Eh. It was honestly quite shit. For now, I just want to relax a bit.”

He chuckled, “Well, I’ve got some ideas to help you relax.”

Instead of getting flustered, or having any major reaction, you just smiled flatly, sighing a bit. You could feel his concern, sighing again, “I’ll be fine, Wilbur. Just a bad day.”

You walked to your room, grabbing a notebook and a pencil case in the hopes that some drawing would calm you down. You walked back out to the living room, sitting on the couch next to Tommy, who was playing with your Rubix cube again. Wilbur walked over and stood in front of you, and you could feel his eyes on you as you set down your pencil case.

One of the more endearing habits that Tommy had was how he only liked his things near him. He always wanted his space to be the exact way he put things, and he would complain, loudly, if you moved things whatsoever. The most often way he complained? He would just smack things. Just completely push them out of his space and across the room.

And he did that now. You watched as you went to grab a pencil, and before you could, he smacked the pencil case across the room so hard it slammed against the wall before hitting the floor. 

“Tommy!” Wilbur chastised, but before he could actually get on his case, you burst out laughing.

Full, genuine laughing, your eyes closing . Your life was so bizarre already, what with the whole living with ghosts thing. And after an absolutely shitty day, one of them just smacked your entire pencil case against the wall just because it was slightly too close to him. It was bizarre and weird and absurd, but it was your life. 

You laughed until your ribs were tired. When your eyes opened again, still crinkled at the sides, you were met with a sight, to say the least.

You saw Wilbur. You saw him. He was looking back at you, face flushed and staring at you in awe. Holy shit.

“...Wilbur?”

He looked startled by the fact you made eye contact with him, and he struggled to find words. But god, he was gorgeous. Thick curly brown hair with beautiful brown eyes to match. He was tall, too, and he wore a faded blue sweater and plain black pants. 

He didn’t have a chance to respond before Tommy did, and you watched as, within seconds, he went from being completely invisible to… Tommy. He had blond hair and blue eyes, and he was wearing a white t-shirt with red sleeves, and a pair of cargo shorts. 

“Thank god, we don’t have to be invisible anymore. I was getting so tired of it, but of course Wilbur said we had to, didn’t want to risk scaring you off, as if you would be!” He barked out a laugh, and you chuckled as well, blinking a bit.

“I’m sorry, what? You- I can see you? And you can control that sort of stuff?”

Tommy snorted, “Of course you can see us. That’s kinda how ghosts work, innit?”

You gave them a closer look, noting that, although you could see them, they were still slightly translucent. “How the hell should I know how ghosts work? I’m not the ghost here!” 

You laughed, and Wilbur seemed to finally gain some sense of vocal ability, “We can control it, but our natural state is like this. Well, kind of. There’s a more… accurate form, but we don’t really show that to anyone. We’ve found that it usually scares people out, so we tend to wait.”

You nodded, “What is the more accurate form?”

Wilbur leaned forward, ruffling your hair, “Don’t worry about it.”

You pouted a bit but nodded regardless, “Okay. Well, as weird as it is, it’s also… really cool. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to see you guys.” You took Wilbur’s hand, inspecting it carefully. Other than the slight translucent nature of them, they just looked normal. A bit paler than they probably would have been alive, but still just completely normal. 

You let go of his hand, looking up at him, “Sorry, it’s just interesting.” Wilbur chuckled, and it was so different to actually see him laugh rather than just hearing it, “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize, darling.”

You flushed lightly, and Wilbur took immediate notice, leaning in close to your face. 

“Are you going shy on me, darling?” His hand gently cupped your chin, “Do you just find me that attractive?” Your cheeks flamed up, and as you stuttered out a response, Tommy groaned, smacking Wilbur’s shoulder.

“Take your flirting shit out of here, dickhead.”

Wilbur scoffed, sitting next to you instead, “Hey, I put up with your shit attempts at flirting with Molly for months, I’m allowed to have my fun.”

“I am not shit at flirting! And even if I was, you’re the one who taught me, so that would mean you’re also shit!” Tommy exclaimed, putting the Rubix cube down. 

“You never listened to my instructions!”

“Because they were stupid”

You rolled your eyes as they continued to bicker, standing and walking towards your room. You waved a hand nonchalantly, “I’m going to take a bath. You guys just keep… doing whatever is it you do.” “Want my help in there, darling?” You flushed, flipping him off behind your back, “Unless you’re bringing me wine and leaving right after, I do not need your help.” 

You walked into the bathroom and got a warm bubble bath ready quickly, getting into the water and relaxing as the heat soothed your sore muscles. You played music from your phone softly, closing your eyes and letting the water alleviate your troubles from the day.

After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. You fixed the curtain to maintain your modesty, before humming out a soft, “Come in.”

Wilbur opened the door with a smug grin, a glass of wine in his hand. 

You laughed, “Jesus, I didn’t even think we had wine in the house.” “We do, it was just too high for you to reach.” He chuckled, walking over to hand you the glass. 

“Oh? And who put it up there then?” You took the glass, taking a sip.

“Hm, I wonder.” He chuckled, crouching down to be eye-level with you, “You feeling any better?”

You nodded softly, smiling, “Yeah. Just had a rough day, I guess.”

He sat down, nodding, “I figured. It took you longer to get home than usual, and you just seemed a bit down. I’m glad Tommy was able to make you laugh, even if the whole reveal thing wasn’t planned.”

You hummed, “It definitely was a shock. I do like being able to see you, even if I’m still just processing it. It’s easier to tell where you are.”

“Oh, I bet,” he laughed, “But sneaking up on you is half the fun.”

“For you,” you rolled your eyes, “I quite like being able to see my housemates. I’m almost offended, actually, that you hid such a pretty face from me for so long.”

It was an incredibly satisfying feeling to actually watch him get flustered, his cheeks turning pink while he looked away. 

He composed himself, clearing his throat, “Didn’t want to scare such a pretty person away is all. Especially such a kind one.”

You flushed, taking another sip of wine. “Well, I can definitely say I’m not scared.”

He smiled (a beautiful sight to see), reaching a hand up to gently play with your hair, “Good. For a moment there I thought you’d just bolt when you saw me.”

“Honestly,” you chuckled, leaning into his touch, “You guys having a form I can see is the least weird thing I’ve dealt with since I’ve moved in.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I guess that’s true. We’ve just… grown to be a bit wary of showing ourselves to people. Molly was the most recent one, actually, and that was because she snuck in without us noticing. The first time someone moved in, we didn’t think to hide ourselves, and that’s what led to all the rumors and everything.”

You nodded, “Shitty exploitative people or people running for the hills?”

“We’ve had both,” he sighed.

“How do you guys know about all the rumors and stuff though? Did Molly tell you?”

He shook his head, “We can’t leave the house most days, but there are a few exceptions. We can leave on Halloween, and the anniversary of our deaths. Or if we possess someone.”

“Wha- okay, you can not just say that like it’s a casual thing. You can possess people?”

He chuckled, looking coy, “Yeah. We don’t do it often, only if we really need to or if we’re given permission.”

You nodded, “That’s respectful, I guess. When would you need to?”

He shrugged, “We’ve done it to protect people. There was a kid living in here with the last family, and he nearly drowned, so I had to possess his father to save him. The only problem is that, usually when we do it, people move out right after. But if we can stop another person from dying here, we’ll jump at the opportunity.”

“That makes sense,” you hummed softly, “Must feel weird to get possessed.”

He hummed, “I’ve heard it is. Tommy’s possessed Molly before so they could go on like pseudo-dates. She said you’re still aware of everything, you just can’t move your body yourself. She and Tommy were able to talk in her head, though so it’s not as scary as you’d think, as long as you know it’s happening. There are some side effects for a short while afterwards though.”

“Like?”

“She said that she felt freezing cold for a while after. She had a few bruises as well, but that could’ve easily just been from Tommy remembering how to manuver an actual body. That’s another thing, if you do it for too long, you kind of forget how to move your own body, so she had to sit to keep herself from falling.”

You nodded, humming, “that’s not too bad.”

“Well, yeah. That’s with permission, though. Most of the people we’ve possessed without permission haven’t exactly stuck around long enough for us to ask how they feel afterwards.”

You leaned your head on the edge of the tub, going silent as you thought. “We could do that one day, if you want.”

“What?” He stopped his hand, eyebrows pinching together. 

“Yeah, like Molly and Tommy do. That way you can go outside a bit more and do stuff that you can’t do anymore.” 

He grinned softly, “Is this your way of asking me on a date?”

You groaned, and he immediately laughed at your reaction. “I’m trying to be nice, dumbass.”

“I know, I know. But man it is so much more fun to flirt with you when you can actually see me. You get flustered so much easier.” “Maybe I’m not used to seeing cute boys flirt with me.”

He frowned slightly, and it quickly dissolved into a grin, “Well, you’ll get used to it soon enough because I definitely don’t plan on stopping. Unless it makes you uncomfortable.”

You smiled gently, “It doesn’t. I would’ve asked you to stop a long time ago if it actually made me uncomfortable.”

“Good. Because I am going to be so much worse about it now that I can flirt physically with you.”

“Oh, god.”

“I’ll make it good for you. Don’t stress.”

You chuckled, taking another sip, “I’m not stressed, more concerned about how I’ll ever be able to deal with a cute guy flirting with me all the time.”

“Well, I’ll take good care of you, obviously.”

You smiled, biting your lip softly, “Thanks, Wilbur.” 

He smiled, running his hand through your hair once more. “Of course, darling. What do you want for dinner? I can start making it while you finish up here.”

You sighed softly, “I have no clue honestly.”

“So surprise you?”

You grinned softly, “Yeah. Just please don’t burn down the house. I like living here with you guys.”

“Alright, so don’t let Tommy into the kitchen, got it.”

You laughed, and he gave you that look again, the same one he was giving you when you saw his face for the first time. 

“I guess so.” You hummed softly. 

“Alright, well, I’ll go get started,” He stood, and he leaned over, pressing a kiss to your forehead gently before walking out. 

It took your brain a moment to catch up before you felt yourself blushing deeply once more. It was a new but definitely welcome sensation, the feeling of his lips on your forehead left a gentle chill. You bit down a smile, but even if you really tried, you wouldn’t have been able to hide the gentle grin. You took a final sip of your wine, setting the glass down and letting yourself sink into the water.

You got out of the bath and got dressed, taking your glass and walking out into the living room. You weren’t quite used to just being able to see them, almost feeling startled as you saw Tommy sitting on the couch playing on your old DS, and seeing Wilbur standing in the kitchen. 

You shook it off, walking to the kitchen and looking for the wine.

Wilbur looked over at you, smiling softly, “Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “How’s dinner coming along?”

“Good,” he smiled, walking over and wrapping his lanky arms around you while you poured yourself some more wine. You leaned into his grasp, smiling softly. 

“Yeah? House hasn’t burnt down, so that says something at least.”

He chuckled, wrapping you up tighter in his arms, “I still remember mostly what I’m doing. I used to cook for Tommy when our parents were working.”

“You haven’t spoken much about your parents.” You noted quietly. 

He sighed, leaning his head on you, “No. I haven’t. I try not to think about them too much.”

You nodded softly and didn’t ask further. Instead, you relaxed in his arms and drank your wine. He swayed a bit, and you chuckled, closing your eyes. 

“It’s still weird being able to see you.”

“Yeah? Like what you see.”

You chuckled, flushing, “Maybe. Is there a problem if I do?”

“The opposite, actually, darling. I think it’s absolutely lovely. But not as lovely as you.”

“Wilbur?”

“Yes, my darling?”

“Something is very much burning on the stove.”

He quickly pulled away, rushing to the pot on the stove and taking it off the heat. 

“Oops,” he grinned at you sheepishly, “Sorry, love. You’re just so distracting.”

You flushed and rolled your eyes, “Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted you in the kitchen either.”

He scoffed, “I’ll have you know I’m a great cook. This was simply a method of cooking, I’m enfusing the food with smoky flavor.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes a bit, “You’re such a dork.”

When you looked back at him, he was giving you the biggest grin. He turned, grinning down at the counter as he worked on plating the food for you. He handed you the plate, gently kissing your head.

“I kept the burnt parts out of it.”

You blushed, smiling, “Thank you, Wilbur.”

“Of course, darling.” 

You started eating, and he watched you as you did, waiting for your reaction.

“Holy shit, Wilbur, this is fantastic.”

He threw his arms up, cheering, “Yes! Oh, I’m so glad you like it. It’s been a long time since I cooked.”

“It’s amazing, seriously, thank you.”

He smiled, wrapping his arms around you again, “It’s actually our mom’s recipe. She was the best cook, taught me everything I know.”

“Well, she taught you well.” You ate more, and Wilbur was absolutely beaming behind you.

The rest of the night was quite calm, just sitting with Tommy and Wilbur, watching videos and stuff. You got tired quite quickly, so the three of you retired to bed, Wilbur following you. You both got comfortable quickly, your head resting on his chest. His hand gently trailed up and down your back, and the sensation used to make you shiver, but now it just felt comforting. In the silence, you began thinking. 

“Wilbur?” You spoke softly.

“Hm?”

“You’re very touchy,” you stated plainly.

He chuckled, “That’s true.”

“Why?”

He was quiet for a moment before speaking up, “I like the feeling. Reminds me of being alive, I guess.”

“How so?” You asked quietly.

“Well,” he took one hand, gently placing it on your cheek, “it warms me slightly, same way it cools you. So it becomes grounding, after a while. Especially when I start to comprehend the reality of the fact that I am a ghost, I can’t leave, and I don’t know if I’ll be like this forever or if one day I’ll just suddenly stop existing. It’s scary sometimes to think about the fact that, at one point, I was living, and I got killed, and now I am undead, and I don’t know why. I don’t know if one day, just by saying something, I’ll fade. You weren’t wrong when you said ghosts are probably scared of their own situation because we are. There’s no rulebook to being a ghost, and I remember, the first few years, I was just so aware of my own… mortality, if you can even call it that. And it was terrifying. Tommy and I mostly stayed in the attic at all times because we didn’t know if we’d fully move on just by walking out the door. So, when I touch you, it helps pull me out of that fear. Because I remember that being alive was just as terrifying because there is no rulebook to living either. And it’s grounding. If I could do it once before, I can do it again. You remind me of being alive. Because you’re the first person to look at me, even when you couldn’t see me, and have empathy before anything else. So touching you and being around you, it makes me feel something other than the usual dread and sadness, and I will cling to that as much as I can while I still have time with you.”

You leaned into his touch, shifting a bit to wrap an arm around him. You didn’t really have a response. It was the most vulnerable he’d ever been. 

You cuddled your head further into his chest, nodding softly, “If you ever need it, you know, i’m here for you. I don’t know much about ghosts or living, and I’d never given the things much thought before moving in here. But anything that can help you, I’m willing to help you with. Even if it means having you attached at my hip all day. You know better than anyone just how fragile life is. I could die tomorrow. So, we need to make the most out of what we have, I guess.”

He smiled, kissing the top of your head gently, “That’s all we can do. It’s what made life worth living, and it’s what makes being stuck like this worth it too. Just appreciating every moment, even if all we have is your living and my ghostly-ness.” He chuckled softly, and you did too.

You gently moved his hand from your cheek, solely so you could hold it. “Goodnight, Wilbur.”

“Goodnight, my love.”

You and Wilbur got closer seamlessly. You don’t know what made it so easy to talk with him or just be around him. Overtime, his flirting got bolder, but so did yours. You’d be lying to yourself if you were to say that you weren’t attracted to him. You absolutely were. You were just conflicted.

You didn’t know how human-ghost relationships worked. You knew they happened, obviously, Molly and Tommy were clear proof of it. But you didn’t really know how they worked. One person was dead, firstly, but there was also the concept that their spirit had a high chance of outliving you. You would grow older, but Wilbur would always be twenty-six. Unless you died, of course, but that would be a pretty major commitment to make, and it honestly made your head hurt to think about. Plus, that’s if Wilbur even would be okay with that which, based on the way he spoke about being dead, he wouldn’t be. The morals and mortality honestly gave you a headache. So you talked to the only other person who would possibly understand.

When Molly walked in that morning, you were quick to stop her from walking up to where Tommy would be.

“Molly! Can I talk to you for a moment?” “Uh, yeah, sure.”

You carefully pulled her into the backyard, sitting down on the concrete porch.

“I… have a few questions.” You spoke softly in case of any peeping ears.

“Oh?” She sat down next to you, “What about?”

You sighed, “You and Tommy’s relationship. How does it work?”

She chuckled, “What do you mean?”

“I just… I’ve been thinking a lot about like how a ghost-human relationship could work, and I just feel overwhelmed. I like Wilbur,” you admitted softly, blush rising to your cheeks, “But I keep thinking about how a relationship between me and him would work since it’s… unconventional.”

“Well, I’ve found your problem already,” she gave you a kind smile, “You think too much. With Tommy, we don’t think about it. We’re both aware of how weird it is, and how it probably won’t last forever, but we don’t mind. I mean, he and I have been dating for months, and I’ve never been able to tell anyone for obvious reasons. We just honestly don’t think about it. And maybe that’s not healthy, but it’s what’s right and what works for us right now. So that’s all that matters.”

You nodded, resting your head on your knee, “It doesn’t bother you? That you don’t know?”

“Honestly? No,” she shrugged, “It’s something about living in the moment, you know. Sometimes I think about it, but I know that there’s really nothing Tom and I can do anything about it. So, I just don’t think about it since I can’t find a solution.”

You nodded again, “Thanks, Molly.” She patted your shoulder, “Listen, if you want my advice, I say do it. Wilbur is absolutely head over heels for you. And even if he is blind to it, I can tell you are the same way about him. So, don’t think about it much, just do it. If it makes you both happy, then it’s worth it.”

You flushed, nodding, “I just have to figure out how. Thank you, Molly.”

“I have work off today, so I was probably going to let Tommy possess me so we can go for a walk, if you want some privacy,” she winked, standing and heading inside.

You sat there with nothing but the deep blush on your cheeks and the things she had told you. 

You were thankful for the later privacy, though, solely because you didn’t want Tommy there when you confessed. It was nerve-wracking enough without Tommy there to potentially make fun of you. 

After dinner, you and WIlbur were sitting on the couch like normal, but you couldn’t focus, too in your head about how to word everything perfectly and oh god, what if he says no. 

“Darling, are you okay?” Wilbur asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You nodded, biting your lip. You turned, facing him now, and gently taking his hand, “I want to… talk about something.”

“Oh?” he turned, holding your hand tightly, “What’s up?”

Fuck, you really should’ve practiced this before hand. “It’s just…” here goes nothing, “I like you, Wilbur. I’ve known for a bit now, I just didn’t really know what to say or if it would be good to even bring it up until I talked to Molly today, but, yeah. I like you. And, if you’ll take me, I’d- I’d like to be your partner.”

For the first time in your little speech, you looked up to him. And he, god, he looked ecstatic. He had a soft smile on his face, but you could see in his eyes just how overjoyed he was. 

“Darling, nothing would make me happier. I’d be a fool to not take you,” he squeezed your hand gently, “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded, and he brought a hand up, slowly guiding your lips together. The kiss was enchanting, and the sensation – a mix of cool and tingling – it reminded you of peppermint chapstick. You held onto his shoulder gently, kissing him back and putting just as much love into it as it gave you. 

You both pulled away quickly, solely due to the sound of the door opening. Both of your heads whipped towards the sound, watching as Molly-Tommy walked in, and after a moment, you watched Tommy’s spirit separate, and he carefully held onto Molly, so she wouldn’t fall. Once he looked over, both of you red-faced and looking like you were clearly caught, he raised his free arm up, cheering, “Holy shit! Wilbur finally got bitches!”

Your relationship with Wilbur was surprisingly easy. Not much actually changed between the two of you, aside from kissing and making out more. He slept in your bed more often, though he still had those nights when he would disappear to the attic. He also tended to be more generally affectionate rather than flirty, now that he knew it was okay to kiss you when he felt like it.

There was something not-house related that popped up recently though. You didn’t notice it for the first few days, but by the fourth day it was glaringly obvious. Every day that you would leave your house for work, you noticed a man, around mid-fourties, sitting on a bench across the street. He would follow your path to work, but he would never interact. It made you feel uneasy, though. You told a few of your coworkers, and they all agreed that it was weird, but you refrained from telling Wilbur and Tommy. You didn’t want any problems, you just mostly wanted to figure out why this guy kept watching you.

Thankfully, it didn’t take too long to find out. On the second week of this occurring, he actually came up to you, holding a single flower out towards you.

When he spoke, it sounded as though he hadn’t spoken properly in about two years, and it sent a shiver down your spine, but none of his words were mean or harmful. 

“Hello. I’m sorry to bother you,” he handed you the flower, a red chrysanthemum, before continuing, “it’s just, well, I used to be friends with the boys who lived in that house. Not a lot of people move in there, so when I heard you did, I got a bit curious.”

You accepted the flower, somewhat shocked by the plainness of his statement, “Oh. I understand the curiosity, the house has quite a reputation. It’s a lovely place, though.”

He nodded, “I loved being in there. I’ve heard the reputation it has as well, but I wanted to ask, as the current owner, do you believe in any of it? I’m not quite sure I believe in these ghost stories.”

You chuckled softly. You had gotten used to lying about your ghostly boyfriend and roommates, “No, I don’t believe in any of it. However, if it keeps my payments low, I don’t mind.”

That brought a laugh out of him, and it eased your nerves a bit. “I get that. Sorry if I weirded you out at all, It’s just- not exactly easy to come up to people and ask if they believe in ghosts.”

“People do it all the time now, actually,” you hummed. It wasn’t uncommon, these days, for anyone who knew you lived there to ask those types of questions. “But you said you were friends with the boys?”

He nodded, “Yes. We were good friends for a long time. It was tragic what happened to them, but I am glad to hear that you haven’t had any problems. I always worried that their souls may not have been able to move on.”

You gave a soft smile, “Yeah, I worried the same when I moved in. I imagine it’d be quite scary to exist like that. But, no issues, really.”

“That’s good, then. The boys were so kind, too. William and Thomas, their names were.”

“Oh, really?” You asked, as if you didn’t know.

For the next week, every day, that man would walk with you to work, telling stories about the boys, and every day, he would bring you a red chrysanthemum. It was nice to hear about the boys when they were alive, even if it was a bit chilling to think about how they lived before knowing what would become of them.

One day, the man brought a whole bouquet of the red chrysanthemums, and you accepted them with a soft smile. As he told stories, he spoke in a bit of a far-away tone.

“I’ve always wanted to go back in, actually. To see where we all used to goof off. I think it would be a nice way to get closure, after all that’s happened. The guy who killed them, he was smart, really smart, but he never got caught, so their story never got closure. I never got closure. I’m not sure, I’ve just always thought that, just walking around and seeing their rooms, it would help.”

That brought a thought to your brain. This guy used to be their friend, and Wilbur said that they always wondered what happened to all the people who they never saw anymore. It would be a really nice surprise for them!

“Well, if you’d like, once I get off of work, I can let you in, let you walk around a bit?”

He grinned, “Really? Oh, that would be lovely. You get home around six usually, yes?”

You nodded softly, “Yeah.”

“Perfect! Oh, thank you so much, it would truly be the best thing to be able to see in there again. You don’t know how much you’ve truly done for me.”

When you got home, he was waiting at your front porch. You smiled softly at him, waving as you went to unlock the door. You opened the door slowly, to give the boys time to go invisible when they realized there was someone in the house.

“You can just take a seat on the couch, alright? I’m going to put my stuff away and then I’ll walk the place with you.”

He nodded, taking a seat and looking around. You walked to your room to put your bag away, but the moment you closed the door, you were met with the two ghosts, startling you backwards.

“Jesus, you guys scared me,” you whispered.

“What the fuck is going on right now?” Tommy whispered harshly.

Wilbur just looked angry, the silent type of angry that honestly put fear in you as well.

“What are you talking about? Him?”

“Of fucking course, we’re talking about him! Why is he here?” It was weird to hear Tommy sounding so quiet and panicked.

“He said he used to be your friend. I wanted to surprise you guys,” you smiled a bit, not yet understanding why they both looked so upset and fearful and angry.

“That dickhead was not our friend.” “What? Tommy, what are you on about?”

“Love, that’s the man who murdered us.” Wilbur spoke for the first time, anger clear in his voice.

You felt a chill go down your spine, straightening, “What?”

“The bastard pretended to be our friend, talking to us, bringing us shit like gifts and flowers,” you felt your entire body go cold as Tommy continued, “All so he could fucking murder us.”

“He’s been giving me flowers every day.” You noted simply, and the two of them both lost all the fear in their expressions, now just looking purely angry and protective. They shared a look before looking back at you. Wilbur placed a hand on your shoulder, gently despite the ferocity in his expression.

“Go back out there before he gets suspicious, but if he wants to go to the attic, do not walk in first, let him go first. You hear me?”

You nodded quickly, and Wilbur pulled you forward, kissing you passionately, “I won’t let him fucking touch you,” he growled out softly.

You kissed him back, slowly pulling out from Wilbur’s grasp and heading back out into the living room, a bit more stiff than before.

“You ready to look around?” You asked, trying to sound as normal as possible. He nodded, standing up. You and him walked upstairs to the boys’s rooms, and the entire time you could feel Wilbur and Tommy’s presence behind you.

You went to both of the boy’s old rooms, and he seemed completely normal, talking about all the times he’d seen the boys in here. After Wilbur’s room, he spoke up properly.

“Can we see the attic? The boys and I used to hang out there at night.”

You gulped softly and nodded, “Do you remember where it is?”

He smiled and nodded, “of course! I remember sneaking up there with them all the time.”

“Alright, lead the way then.” You gestured for him to lead the way, but he shook his head.

“Oh, no, I couldn’t, it’s your house after all.”

“No, really, I insist.”

He tilted his head, smiling, and this time it brought you waves of unease, “Is there something wrong?”

Fuck. There were two ways this could go. You could say yes, and he could just kill you right here. Or you could say no and deal with Wilbur’s anger later. 

You’d rather deal with Wilbur’s anger later.

“...No. Nothing’s wrong, um, follow me, I guess.” You started walking upstairs to the attic, and you practically hear Wilbur’s curses in your ear. 

You opened the door and walked in, and the man walked in behind you. Before either of you had a chance to react, the door slammed shut and locked, and you were pulled into the chair on the otherside of the room.

You watched Wilbur reappear, standing over you protectively. Tommy reappeared after, standing by the door. The man looked around wildly at the two of the them, stuttering.

“You- you said they weren’t real!” He looked at you angrily, and he started advancing towards you. 

Wilbur grabbed your hands, placing them on top of your eyes. “Do not open your eyes.” He ordered, and all you could do was hear for a few minutes as the sound of strange whispers filled the room. There was light coming from the center of the room that you could vaguely make out from behind your hands, and soon, there was the sound of the man screaming. The room felt heavy, as if every negative emotion you’d ever known was flowing into your body all at once.

You knew you shouldn’t, but you couldn’t help your curiosity as you peered between two fingers.

Tommy and Wilbur stood over the man as he sank into what appeared to be a portal into the floor. That wasn’t what really caught your attention, though. 

What caught your attention was Tommy and Wilbur’s appearances. This must’ve been the true form they mentioned, you realized. They looked nearly decrepit, Tommy’s stomach covered in blood, and his neck showing a long open wound. Wilbur wasn’t much better, a clear stab wound going straight through his chest. If you looked hard enough, you could see through it. His face had a long scratch going down the side, hitting through his eye. There was another stab wound on him, a clear chunk taken out of his arm. Both of their eyes were glowing, Wilbur’s a haunting cold blue, and Tommy’s a deep red. 

You gasped softly and quickly covered your eyes in full again.  No wonder they didn’t want you to see it. It was entirely haunting to see.

A few minutes later, Wilbur walked over and pulled your hands off of your eyes. The light, the portal, and the man were all gone. You had started crying at some point after seeing them like that, and Wilbur quickly pulled you into his arms. 

“It’s okay, he’s gone.” He whispered, kissing the top of your head and rubbing your back soothingly. You sobbed against him, gently moving a hand to the center of his chest to make sure the wound wasn’t there anymore even if you’d already seen him looking normal.

He seemed to realize what you were doing pretty quickly, but he never let go of you or seemed upset in the slightest, “You saw, didn’t you?”

You nodded, another wave of sobs wracking your body.

He sighed softly, just holding you closer, “I’m sorry, darling. I never wanted you to see that. I’m so so sorry,” he whispered.

You didn’t respond, just sobbing against him and clinging onto him desperately. 

He helped you calm down, and after you got past the tears from processing their true forms, you had to come to terms with the stark reality that you would have absolutely been killed, the same way the boys had, if they weren’t there for you.

The house was mostly quiet the rest of the night, though Wilbur and Tommy were both clearly filled with a sense of relief. 

You asked Wilbur about it later as you rested on his chest in bed. “Are you and Tommy happy he’s gone?”

He hummed, looking down at you, “He’s not gone, per se. Just in his own personal hell. It felt good, but, if you’re wondering why we’re both relieved, that’s not why.”

He got better at reading you as you two grew closer, and this was clear evidence of it, “Then why?”

“We didn’t know if that would be it for us,” he sighed softly, “There’s always been this idea that ghosts stick around due to unfinished business. We don’t know if that’s true or not, but we always assumed, if it was, it was because he was still here. So, there was a chance that when we got rid of him, we both would’ve just ceased to exist, or moved on to the afterlife, whatever. We’re relieved that didn’t happen. Neither of us could stand leaving you and Molly like that, with no clue what happened to us.”

You nodded softly, “But, wouldn’t it have been nice? To move on?” 

“No,” he almost laughed, “Not without you.”

You held onto him tighter, nodding softly. “He would’ve killed me, if you two weren’t here.” You whispered.

He nodded, but he didn’t speak. 

“If we let him, maybe I would’ve been here with you guys forever, like you are now.”

He looked at you, horrified, “Darling, don’t start with that. There’s absolutely no way we could’ve been certain of that, and I don’t want this for you. I want you to live a full life, and I don’t even want to know what would’ve happened if he killed you and your spirit didn’t stay. It would’ve been devastating for both of us, Tommy too. So, please, don’t start with that. I’m glad you are alive.”

You nodded softly, and his arms tightened around you, “I owe you both my life regardless.” He chuckled lightly, leaning down and kissing you gently, “Darling, the only thing you owe us is your happiness. All I want is for you to be happy. Nothing else matters to me anymore.”

You smiled, kissing him back lovingly. 

“I love you, Wilbur.”

He smiled, eyes glowing the same blue, but lighter this time, as you exchanged your first ‘I love you’s. “I love you too, darling.”

#wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot #mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #mar writes #wilbur x reader #mcyt x you #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot fanfiction #mcytumblr #mcyt wilbur #theres an alt ending :) #not written out but :) #i know what it is :)

[chososbabymama]

𝒫𝓁𝓊𝑔!𝐵𝒻𝒮𝓊𝑔𝓊𝓇𝓊♧~~~~

personal headcannons bc plug suguru puts me in H E A T ! ! ! :)

PlugBf!Suguru who gives you free flower. Has the BIGGEST pout on his face when he finds out you bought from other people before y'all got together. 'It doesn't matter if I met you 7 months later y/n, it's the principality of it!'

PlugBf!Suguru who buys you anything you need. You want a new bong? He buys you a pretty heart shaped piece w/ a bowl crafted into the shape of a rose. You needed a grinder cuz yours squeaked? He bought you an electrical one. You burnt a nail tryna light the blunt? He cashapps you $250 to get a refill.

PlugBf!Suguru who plugged you for the first time after you got his # from Shoko, there was something about you that made him so fuckin nervous that he accidentally gave you 3gs more than you asked for (you only wanted an 8th).

PlugBf!Suguru who is your self-proclaimed #1 fan. Reposts all your IG photos, shares your TikToks, he even got one of those lighter clips that attach to his pants and keeps a light w/ your face on it w/ him 25/8.

PlugBf!Suguru who pearls the blunt in a way that makes your stomach tight and your thighs clench.

PlugBf!Suguru who shuts down anyone who tries to flirt w/ him during a deal, 'no i dont wanna smoke a blunt with you, get out my car before i call my wife and have her show you whats good' Satoru lets out the ugliest laugh EVERY time.

PlugBf!Suguru who taught you everything you need to know; how to roll, how to scale, how to tell if the flower is synthetic, etc.

PlugBf!Suguru who has to go out of town sometimes to make drops so he leaves you with enough money and flower to keep you comfortable. If you needed anymore he'd send you however much you needed and make toji bring you a bag. If you buy from someone else while he's gone he'll catch such an attitude (big baby will still roll your blunts but he'll FS talk shit while he do it 'you wanna buy from other people? that's cool... why don't you break off my fingers and tell me to go fUCK myself while you're at it huh?')

PlugBf!Suguru who buys you the prettiest gold anklet with an 'S' to match his gold chain that has your initial on it. He got it for you when he first got in the game, saying it was 'only the beginning.' Since then Suguru has spoiled you in ways you'd never dreamed of, but that anklet? That anklet meant more to you than anything else.

PlugBf!Suguru who has sooooo many tattoos dedicated to you. He gets them on special occasions (anniversary, birthdays, holidays, etc. any reason he can find he'll do it). He has your anniversary on his ring finger, your lipstick on his lower back, scratch marks on one side of his back, and a bouquet of your favorite flowers right above his heart. With each one he shows you, you fall deeper in love.

PlugBf!Suguru who also makes a lot w/ his tattoo shop. People travel from across the country to get tatted by him. He's not just your only plug but your only tattoo artist as well. He'd had an extensive portfolio with a plethora of darkskin clients who had a hard time finding artists like you had. Suguru doesn't even consider people like that artists and refuses to work with people who can't tattoo dark skin. When asked why his response is always the same, 'why would I want to work with talentless losers who's terrible character is reflected in their subpar work? I could spend my time doing better shit like... smokin a blunt.'

PlugBf!Suguru who drops the blunt in shock when he learns you're Kento's cousin. Bloodshot eyes widen in shock when he's lookin at old family photos you brought out, completely ignoring the ember burning a hole into the rugs you JUST bought. ('whaT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS RELEVANT? I had a thing for you for fuckin WEEKS before I asked you out and that bastard knew-!')

PlugBf!Suguru who knew from the moment he met you, that you were someone to be loved, cherished, and desired. And he would stop at nothing to prove how dedicated he is to making you feel as special as he knows you are.

#jjk x black reader #anime x black!reader #getou suguru #geto suguru #plug!geto #jujutsu geto #jjk anime #geto hcs #geto jjk #geto jujutsu kaisen #black yn #black reader #black fanfiction #black femme

[thegrumparoundthecorner]

clothes in grumpus society would be pretty hard to get for two main reasons:

grumpuses have wildly different proportions from eachother which makes it basically impossible to mass produce clothes, that means the only way to get well-fitting clothes is to go to a tailor or seamstress

clothes are completely optional and usually unnecessary when you have fur, which adds to the first point that mass producing clothes would not be profitable

this means that when a character wears clothes thats a big deal and it could say alot about them

now that I've explained my thought process, here are my headcanons about every character that wears clothes (not counting hats or other accessories):

Wambus: the vest helps block direct sunlight when working outside for long periods of time, he got it custom made before the expedition.

Gramble: he wears a sweater because he has patchy fur from stress, and his pets getting eaten probably didn't help, he knit the sweater himself.

Wiggle: in the credits artwork she is wearing what looks like a fur coat, she probably has more clothes like this because she's a celebrity, idk I don't have much to say here.

Triffany: same as Wambus, the jacket protects from the sun and has lots of pockets to hold tools or shiny things, she got it custom made.

Chandlo: the tank top is the only item of clothing he has and the only reason he wears it is because he thought it wold be unprofessional to be undressed, he got it when he used to play for a baskesball team.

Snorpy: in the credits artwork he is wearing a tank top and shorts, this is important because he is the only character that wears a full set of clothes in the whole game. he naturally has thin fur (in the dlc he talks about putting on sunscreen) and he has been losing fur from stress about the Grumpinati, he got the clothes custom made after returning from snaktooth. as for the apron, it is one of the things that can be mass produced because the only thing that needs adjusting is the straps.

Shelda: in the credits artwork she is wearing a long sleeve sweater, she is old, skinny and is probably loosing fur so it's not a surprise that she gets cold easily, she got the sweater as a gift from a family relative, she also had it with her at snaktooth but never wore it because she spent most of her time in the desert.

Floofty: in the credits artwork they are wearing a lab coat, the only thing confusing about that is why they didn't wear lab coat at snaktooth, it is important protection when doing experiments and it totally makes sense to get one custom made. my reasoning is that floofty isn't really the "safety first" kind of person and they never got any serious injuries from an experiment gone wrong so they just didn't bother, but when they became a teacher/professor they started wearing a lab coat to set an example for students who are more likely to mess up and get hurt.

eggabell and lizbert are wearing matching shirts in one of the photos in their hut, they got them for their anniversary. the shirts don't have a purpose egg and liz are just cheesy like that

SPOILERS FOR DLC UNDER CUT

alegander wears a sweater in the image we see of him. we dont know much about him so I don't have many thoughts

maybe the triplicate space is cold, maybe he wanted to look professional, maybe that's an old photo and he doesn't wear that sweater anymore.

same thing for how he got it, maybe he has someone close to him who made it for him, maybe he stole it from gramble, maybe he just cares alot about how he looks so he had lots of clothes unrelated to the snakolytes

SPOILERS END

Filbo, beffica, cromdo and clumby don't wear clothes

an extra headcanon is that when grumpuses get wet they feel naked because their fur sticks to their body. this explains why snorpy got clothes for working out, but this could also be used an excuse for why swimming clothes would exist for grumpuses

#long post #bugsnax #wambus troubleham #triffany lottablog #gramble gigglefunny #snorpy fizzlebean #chandlo funkbun #floofty fizzlebean #shelda #eggabell batternugget #elizabert megafig #alegander jamfoot #bugsnax headcanon #headcanons #I was thinking about how clothes would work for a society of plushies and realised that alot of the logic also applies to grumpuses #whooo this is my first headcanon post #so many tags

[aropride]

speaking of psychosis- i wasn't speaking of it here but i was speaking of it- i've been trying to figure out what was up with the great psychotic episode of freshman year, because i had assumed it was a trauma-induced psychosis type of deal, but it occurred to me that i was definitely having sort of thought broadcasting types of beliefs, probably some other stuff but i can't remember atm and don't feel like digging thru my old vent account lol. (ramble continues under the cut this got VERY long)

(line with text so tumblr doesn't eat the image. idk if it still does that but better safe than sorry)

(the months with "2" are split into first and second half of the month bc it was relevant, couldnt figure out how else to signify that succinctly)

i cut out the labels of each belief for safety + in case that's triggering to ppl but each row is a different belief i had that in retrospect was probably some sort of delusion? top two are very similar but different enough i tracked them differently. bottom two might have just been anxiety+ptsd but i do really think they're connected to this

it was definitely at its worst mid nov-end of jan, but started in september and didn't really let up til like june

anyway like i said i had assumed it was a combination of trauma and being off my meds and isolation that made the perfect situation for me to go fucking crazy, but i hadn't really thought about it that hard . but now that i Am thinking about it, again, i was definitely having these kinds of beliefs before The Trauma

and in my past self's defense. one thing about my thought broadcasting beliefs specifically was that i was straight up being essentially cyberstalked at the time and didn't know, so i was completely right that certain people knew more about me than i had told them, but i was wrong about the reason why

anyway i was reading up on schizospec disorders for class (kind of. also just for fun) -- also important context schizophrenia does run in my family i think on both sides? but my parents are weird about talking about it. so that's part of this also.

but i noticed that of the three labels i was looking at- brief psychotic disorder, schizophreniform, and schizophrenia- (i didn't look into schizoaffective bc i dont think i have many bipolar symptoms, and didn't look into stpd bc i don't think it counts as a personality disorder if it lasts like 10 months lol, and delusional disorder because i do think i had some negative*&cognitive symptoms (*psych term meaning absence of things present in nonschizospec people, not literally just bad symptoms lol)-- though to be fair, that may have just been a combination of situational aspects & autism?)-- either way, it's not on this beautiful and awesome diagram in mspaint i made so i could illustrate the timeline aspect of the diagnostic criteria:

bc a diagnosis of brief psychotic disorder requires symptoms to only last a month, and schizophreniform for 1-6 months, whereas schizophrenia is lifelong .

basically the problem is- while the worst part of my psychotic(?) symptoms lasted ~4months, they were definitely there in some form for around 10 months, which is too long for a diagnosis of schizophreniform, but i don't feel comfortable just, assuming it's schizophrenia lol, especially when most of the symptoms i experienced dont affect my life anymore? it does make me nervous though that this happened right around the typical age of onset.

this might just be a problem with diagnoses being too specific to cover the entire spectrum of human experience, and i might just be outside of any area where a specific label could be applied . also, i know it's been written about but not become an actual diagnostic label- but there are places where ocd and psychosis can over lap, and schizo-obsessive disorder has been suggested as a diagnostic label, but not officially used anywhere afaik..

i think my main concern at this point is just, whether or not i should be concerned about it coming back. like, is it possible to be in various stages of active psychosis(?? it still feels very strange to refer to it that way but i guess that's what it was, so) for ~4-10 months, and then just be chilling after. or should i be worried. was this a one-time thing starting because i was off my meds and being worsened by isolation and trauma or is there a possibility of this happening again. and i think that's a question that can't be answered with any certainty, probably

#text #health tag

[x1702x]

For Honest favourite characters asks: Do 3, 8, 11, 13, 18 and 43 for Gehrman! Open the floodgate

Wanting to make me cry as always? yep.

3. What first drew you to this character?

Gehrman drew me in mostly because I found him endearing, just an old geezer telling you what to do, I enjoyed hearing his dialogue, his voice is calming to me.

8. Does the character’s looks/design matter to you?

His design is very solid, I like how peaceful he looks hunched over with his cane and then suddenly kicking your ass, besides, HIS HEIGHT? How did all thay hide so casually in that chair?? Grandpa go take ur meds

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

My liking of Gehrman grew once I figured his background, I pity him a lot, you see, I've mostly dealed with old people in my life, I used to take visits to my great uncle's residence and I grew fond of the people there. Many are there alone without their family visiting or any grandchildren, I liked talking to them and hearing stories of their lives, being their "surrogate grandchild" in a way.

But since he passed, I believe 2019, I stopped going there since I wasn't a visit anymore. But I had fun there and made acquaintances with some old ladies :) It was nice to see Old people have fun and be so alive.

A year ago my drama club used to take its classes at an eldery center, they were very polite to our group and loved seeing us act, we gave them many laughs and joys. I don't usually cry much about things unless its something i resonate with, and Gehrman just hits different, he's lonely and his only company being the doll (The literal living image of Maria) whos a constant reminder of someone that isnt there with him, you know, it sinks someone down. Ive known people like that, which i think is the main reason I sob over him and yadda yadda. Hes just full of pain and it hurts my soul.

13. If you could draw effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what scene (s) would you draw for this character?

Perhaps something with Maria, tender at most. I dont know, but I want to see him happy. I really do.

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

Peace. He has struggled for long and the way he ends in the game is tragic, no ending will bring him or anyone peace, the moon presence lurks and still wins, you become her surrogate child, another puppet, or continue Gehrman's suffering.

I really wish people saw further than the stereotype they so wrongly put on him of "Creepy old man" Its VERY incorrect and really dims his potential. He's more than "some weirdo stuck on Maria's backstory" He was the first hunter!! He literally made a deal with an eldritch being for hunters to have a respite, brushing aside his life. Hes literally stuck in a nightmare! Aghh,,, sorry im ranting too much but I just appreciate him a lot like errm thats my GRANDPA ur talkin shit about ermm.......

#asks #gehrman the first hunter #the crypt opens once again

[qumiiiquinnquin]

im scared to tell my psychiatrist i tried to end myself twice within a month (sep-oct). i dont know why i am. i have to call the office myself since im an adult now, but im really scared making phonecalls. i have to do it because its been since april that ive seen my psychiatrist but i have to do it. i dont know when ill do it, im too scared. that fear frustrates my family a lot. i feel like im already a failure of an adult and will continue to be like that forever.

today was mostly good, just uneventful until this evening. but now im feeling depressed and i want to cry until i cant anymore, but i cant cry, so i just feel bad. i dont feel tired so i dont want to sleep, but its almost midnight so i should soon. im feeling stressed out about needing to call the psychiatrist's office, so i dont feel like i can relax at all.

ive just been feeling bad a lot lately but thats not new, i say think that to myself every other week or so. whats making me sad the most right now is hating my art. i dont have any confidence in my art but i want to get better, but i dont think i ever will. i will always have mediocre talent, no matter how hard i try. i keep thinking about burning my physical art and either deleting my digital art or just even destroying my laptop, though the latter is very excessive, but i still think about it every now and then out of frustration. i want to give up but i really dont know what else id do, ive always drawn since i was very little, its always made me happy. i really want to not care how upset stopping would make people, including myself, but if i dont stop out of just purely giving up, i probably will stop because i k!lled myself.

every day is feeling the same, it even felt that way when classes were still going. i got so used to the schedule that i got used to the systematic cycle. i partially dont want classes to start again because of that, its boring and the amount of work is stressful, im just going to go back to breaking down and nearly attempting from stress and lack of confidence that i can really do this, that i can really power through and get the degree i want. i keep getting told im smart and always work hard, but that really doesnt mean anything now. being and doing those things doesnt suddenly mean that because of those things, ill survive the stress. it only actually makes it worse, like im ridiculous for feeling the pressure and have the mental health collapses that i do because of college, that im not trying hard enough and am lazy.

for some reason the desire for love has been on my mind and i dont know why, youve seen the pathetic longing things i say about romance. right now i feel like i am missing out and am a failure by societal standards for not even have dated in my life, and i still dont have a partner at 18 years old. i feel extremely lonely to the point that seeing other couples makes me depressed, which is probably selfish of me. i feel like and believe now that i will always be alone. i know i am not beautiful to anyone, i know i am not funny, i am not interesting, im a pain in the ass, im too much to deal with and am just unlovable in general. i hate feeling this way, i never cared about romance or relationships and have always been repulsed at the idea of me ever being loved romantically or being in a relationship. i feel stupid. i feel like a jerk. i feel like i deserve to be alone forever, and i really do. or maybe, just end myself, if im so unlovable in every way, then why not just weed myself out? whoever takes my place will be much more worth it than i ever could be. its so stupid thinking about myself d*ing from a broken heart. "just grow up, sad excuse of a grown adult." (in quotes because its a direct thought to myself towards myself, nobody else)

i really doubt everything will get better, ive felt this same exact way for 3 years now. sad, burntout, stressed, like im nothing but a problem for my family, a burden and waste of time to be around or talk to or care about. i did attempt once in 2021 but failed, obviously im still alive. i really want to try again. im really scared of pain, so im trying to find the quickest way or the least painful option. if i just call, i can get different meds or a different dosage and i wont feel this terrible. im so childish for an adult to be unable to make a fucking phonecall. i feel like next year might be it, im not sure why i get that feeling, but i dont have any reason to keep going. im not looking forward to anything. nothing is really that fun or exciting, i just try to distract myself. i know im not wanted, and im too difficult for my family.

its now a half hour after midnight because im incapable of shutting the fuck up. i might just lay down and watch youtube or cry myself to sleep, whichever happens first

#vent #tw sui ideation #tw sui vent #tw sui attempt #long post #well this escalated fast #i am useless and pathetic. i am going to remain this way forever. the only way out is to just disappear i think. im tired of being alive

[genderwoods]

this is a long post talking about my ocs and my wip. feel free to skip!! i just want to get over my embarrassment of talking about them

ok so. to talk about my ocs first i need to talk about the world theyre in. this is still a nameless wip but for now im calling it 'through the mist' while i decide on a better name.

brief explanation about the world: its the modern world as we know, maybe a few years into the future, but its not very important because society and technology are still pretty much the same. the difference is that in this story, the earth was enveloped by a dark and mysterious mist that is invisible to most people. the origins of this mist is still unknown, but what is known is that: 1) it affects peoples health in the areas that the mist is the most dense, and the number of lung diseases and cancer has incresead ever since it appeared. 2) it has some type of dark magic to it. its essence creates demon-like creatures called spectrums (i still want to find a cooler name) that are unknown by most people, but they bring chaos to the world. you can read more about spectrums and understand them better here (please mind any grammar mistakes, it is still a rough draft!)

but there are special people in the world known as the Enlighted that not only can see the mist, but they are aware of the existence of the spectrums and are given special powers to fight them. most of these people are born like normal humans, and only when they grow up they start to realize that they are different and that theres something wrong in the world they live in. once they find out about their own powers, they are located by a institution called Lux Mundi, and they are recruited either to be a scientist and schollar that studies the mist and the spectrums, or to be a warrior and fight the spectrums.

there are three types of enlighted: the lumen (those who are born with paranormal abilities to help them fight the spectrums), the saltium (those who are born with advanced intellect and are able to understand the complexities behind the magic of the mist and the spectrums) and the granum (those who are both lumen and saltium at the same time. they are very rare.)

this is all you need to know to understand the ocs!! i wont say a lot abt their backstories here so to not make the post even longer but if you want to ask me anything about them, feel free!

btw all of these characters are brazilian and the story takes place in brazil bc well. im brazilian and it was easier this way.

also im not an artist so all i have are picrews 💔 sorry for the low quality of some pictures, for some reason tumblr wont show the album i have them saved in when i open the gallery so i had to screenshot.

1. Kaiki Vitorino, 17

she's our main girl! Kaiki was born Salvador, Bahia but moved to São Paulo with her mom when she was a kid. she and her mom were very close, but due to complications caused by a lung disease, she passed away three years prior to the story, and Kaiki had to move in with her aunt (who also lived in São Paulo). Kaiki is very kind and empathetic, she would never hurt a fly and puts other peoples feelings above her own (sometimes a little too much). she loves geology and has a cool rock collection. Kaiki is a lumen, and her powers are called 'Blessed be The Light', which is basically light manipulation. i won't dive in too deep about their powers here, but you can ask me if you want to!

2. Ayla Rodrigues, 17

Kaiki's best friend since childhood (and secretly love interest)! Ayla was born in São Paulo and met Kaiki in school. she has a very complicated family, which includes divorced parents and a dead younger sister, who died in a car accident with her dad when he was drunk driving. she doesn't speak to him anymore, and grief they dont know how to deal with has led her and her mom to a complicated relationship. Ayla is closed off, aloof and even arrogant to most people. When someone wins her heart however, she shows her more vulnerable side: she's a nerd, loves literature, music and cult movies, likes anime, and will do anything for her loved ones, especially Kaiki, who she is so in loved with is embarrassing. she is a lumen, and her powers are called 'Blesed be the Gravity', which is, you guessed! gravity manipulation.

3. Dandara Carvalho, 20

Born and raised at Lux Mundi, Dandara is the Head Trainer of the Lumen's division. Daughter of Eva Carvalho, supreme leader of Lux Mundi's instalations in Brazil, and Isaac Carvalho, Vice-Supreme and Head Counselour for the Saltium's division, Dara is the real deal: strong, disciplined, determined. she has been training since she was a kid, and her mom has always been very strict when it comes to this. Dara was trained by the old Head Trainer before her, an old man called Kaluanã. He was wise beyond this world, but after his passing at the old age of 80yo, Dara took over his functions. Eva wants Dara to be the next Supreme Leader, but all that she wants is to keep training and teaching other Lumens. They have a very strained relationship, but she gets along very well with her dad. Dara may seem intimidating, but she actually has a heart of gold: she's a dork who loves her friends to death and has a loud and weird laugh. she wont stand for injustice and is extremely reliable. shes also extremely, totally down bad for her girlfriend Yasmin. her powers are called 'Blessed be The Fire', but she also knows a lot of different martial arts.

4. Yasmin Senna

Yasmin may not be very impressive at first, but those who know her know that she is, in fact, a genius. Born and raised in São Paulo, Yasmin has always been the pride and joy of her family: as a kid, she was mostly quiet and kept to herself, didnt talk to other kids a lot and prefered to spend the day cracking her toys open to see how they worked. Her bad social skills and reclusion made her an easy target for bullying in elementary school – kids would take her toys away and mess with her all day long. this lead to a fatidic accident where one day she had a meltdown and unleashed her powers, 'Blessed be the Sound', a type of soundwave manipulation, and left everyone in the scene, including her, deaf. nowadays, yasmin uses hearing aids, but she has long ago gotten used to being deaf, and she doesnt mind her disability, but feels extremely guilt for the accident. she's the grandaughter of kaluanã, daras old mentor, but she had only know him as a kid before he moved to Lux Mundi. this is what made dara want to get closer to her at first, but then they feel in love. yasmin is extremely smart – in fact, she is a granum, but she refuses to use her powers, so she only works in the Saltium division.

5. Eric Senna, 19

Yasmin's twin brother, Eric is probably the only out of the Lux Squad that has decent social skills. He's charming, charismatic, funny, smart and has the world's biggest ego. Eric carries a lot of guilt over the bullying that happened with Yasmin, because he feels like he was too weak to protect his sister, so he has kind of become overprotective over her, even this kind of pisses Yasmin off (and Dandara too). he's one of those people that always act like they're the best, but deep down are their own worst enemy. he's talented, has a hundred different hobbies and speaks three languages. eric is always down for challenges and he loves to prank people. he has a cat and dog relationship with Dandara: they're always fighting and bickering, but they truly care for each other a lot. Eric is a lumen and extremely insecure about his powers – 'Blessed be the Thunder', electricity/lightining manipulation – because no matter how much he trains, his powers doesn't seem to get stronger.

These are the 5 main characters kf my wip! WOW ok this was. a lot. If someone has actually read untill now. thanks a lot, and let me know if you have any questions about anything in my wip or about my ocs! I love to talk about them!! :D

#my ocs #through the mist #my wip #oc tag

[miutonium]

I am in my flop era right now and I just want to write what's going on with me lately _(:3」∠)_

I have been feeling meh lately. As everyone already knows, I am dealing with constant feeling of loneliness due to my lost of a long term friendship which has been quite devastating to me because I know a part of me kinda die and I don't feel like I am fully myself or been myself for months now. I dont care if people think it's ridiculous and I'm being dramatic but just like relationship, friends break up too and I am dealing with it. Some days I'll be fine and some days I just feel awful and everything I do just feels like I'm on autopilot. I'm sad but I can't be sad because I just don't have anyone to rely on now so I rather try not to be sad and do something else. I'm trying though.

I think what makes me sad is my acc getting banned out of the blue. I made a private twitter last month that I use to update what I do whenever I want to and it was such a relief and a safe space to me because I had a place to talk with a very small crowd of people I trusted and I was devastated when it was suspended because of bullshit reasons. I quit insta 2 months ago because I realize I am surrounded by self-centered people and I don't update anything personal regarding my life and feelings anymore elsewhere other than this site. I haven't have any long meaningful conversation with anyone irl other than my family for months and only talk to people when it's related to school work or anything non-personal related. I have been actively avoiding people and avoiding talking too long to people for months.

I tried to get back to interacting with others through my private twt acc and I actually feel safe. Now when it's gone Im sad because I can't be myself elsewhere anymore and I just kinda feel like the world is punishing me right now. It's like I don't deserve to have friends and be happy _(:3」∠)_ what if things wont get better for me? Idk I don't want to feed those thoughts but I wont lie, I'm scared if one day I am going to be extremely sad and do dumb things _(:3」∠)_

I still want to live and do good things but it just seems like good things doesn't happen to me lately and everything just looks so muted to me for now

#i will be fine i always do I just dont feel alright right now #maybe I should continue watching frasier now to cheer me up #I'll be honest: i haven't feel and think about selfshipping too because im just so sad these days #i missed it when i was enthusiastic about Utonium but now everything is just too sad for me rn #also i have a cold rn so i haven't stop sneezing lol #im writing here because this is like the only place i feel like ppl would understand me #cw vent #cw negative

[altschmerzes]

also. once a-fucking-gain The Fuckening Continues To Continue With My Fucking Dad’s Fucking Estate and the way everyone is handling it in a way that seems COORDINATED to be as cruel to me specifically as possible. sorry for Continuing Oversharing lmao hopefully this is just. done now.

to recap the previous Fuckening, i was misled in a way that feels extremely clear and deliberate by the HR lady at my - abusive, now deceased - father’s work to think i was a beneficiary of his life insurance policy. I Am Not. my sister is the sole beneficiary and im named as the contingent which based on surrounding context is something he did as a “fuck you” to me for not having anything to do with him for the last seven years. as a result of the way the HR lady spoke to me about it - grouping my sister and i together as a unit, as Beneficiaries, plural, etc - i ended up under the clear impression i was one, until a phone call with the insurance company cleared up that he basically disinherited me as directly and deliberately as possible. even so, i have been dealing with the major bulk of the stuff his work and associated accounts and estate stuff needed from the family, because my sister is too despondent to want to deal with any of it and is refusing to answer phone calls, emails, or do any paperwork. my mom is babying and coddling them about it, as per the usual approach to my sister, who it is a cardinal sin to upset in my family.

so today i get Another email from the HR woman at my dad’s work. she is like haha yeah too bad i wasn’t clearer that you don’t get anything before making you do all this work! anyways, we need xyz paperwork from you guys still :). and i just.

she is. STILL hounding me for shit i dont have and am not INVOLVED IN because my fucking sister - who by the way is a grownass adult, and i know i sound insensitive but they’re almost 24 and i know they’re grieving but im not exactly having a fucking awesome time here - is dodging all attempts to contact them.

so i email her back and say i am almost entirely uninvolved in any of this please contact my mother or sister for further assistance. and then screenshot the email and texted it to my mother and told her hey. im done dealing with this. please take point on this because my sister’s inability to answer an email has caused ME to carry the burden of all of this constantly and i have compassion for them and what they’re going through but im fucking done. but in like. lawyer speak.

mistake, clearly, to mention my sister at all bc in the ensuing back and forth where im attempting to make it clear that my sister’s consistent non-responsiveness from the very beginning have made me the only person who will answer a phone call or email from this HR lady who has important paperwork she needs to do, and i am fucking Finished and will Not be doing this anymore because for obvious fucking reasons im uninterested in doing any more work for this estate situation - and fuck this lady for effectively lying by implication to get me to chase my mom and sister down for her. and all my mom is doing is getting defensive and protective of my sister. ignores a message i sent her that was long enough it wasn’t containable in a single phone screen and sends back two brief sentences about how my sister is completely blameless for anything and they don’t even have the paperwork HR Lady wants from us. and goes around and around about how my sister has done Everything Right and any contact i’ve gotten from HR Lady is not related. despite this woman saying to me repeatedly “we have not heard from your sister” as an explanation for why she was emailing to calling me.

the whole time too im like. texting her in Lawyer Speak lmao i am writing this as if i am communicating with Combative Opposing Council.

and it just. my fucking mom. the fucking fact that my mother is prioritizing my sister over me even in a direct conversation with me when she knows well and fucking good why i might be KIND OF UPSET RIGHT NOW - and it’s something she herself seems upset! - about is just like. gd. yeah. this isn’t news but this is such a clear and fucking. ice cold reminder that she has one child she will invest any amount of energy into and it is not me and it never will be. she has room in her heart to care about One Kid At A Time - which she has fucking all but TOLD ME to my face before - and it will never, ever be me.

“i know we’re ignoring you lately but your sister needs us and the squeaky wheel gets the grease” real thing my mom said to me when i was like, sixteen. fucking incredible. nothing ever changes does it.

like i know my sister was getting really close to the fucking bastard before he kicked it and is devastated about this but does anyone want to spare two fucking seconds to consider that my father fucking died too and just because im not SAD about it doesn’t mean im not dealing with some seriously upsetting and emotionally heavy shit. like perhaps the administration of my abuser’s estate - which he CUT ME OUT OF as directly as he could without writing a will to disown me in - isn’t something i should be forced to deal with and be retraumatized by because my sister, the precious baby of the family, is fucking sad. my mom said to my grandmother at some point about all this that “[gav] and [sister] didn’t get the same dad” and the fact that she is at least that aware of how this is impacting me and is still getting defensive of my sister when talking directly to me about how this is impacting ME is like. jesus jennifer.

they can just all go to hell and leave me the fuck alone.

#gav gab #abuse cw #long post #im done. im literally just done. #sorry im like. incredibly angry about this still. gd #death cw

[sketching-shark]

Ngl sometimes i feel bad abt disliking LMK so much because some of my friends like it alot and one of them hyperfixates on it. But then i remember just how badly it fucked up in depicting Sun Wukong's character that im pretty sure even villainous portrayals of him in media have given him more dignity, how Six ears basically got woobified and Karma Houdinied despite the show itself showing him as a pretty fucked up villain in S1, how much the Eng Dub butchered the hell out of the Bull Demon Family's dynamic and that this show basically removed one of the core aspects of the story (Buddhism) and then i suddenly dont feel that bad anymore.

Plus its not like they know my actual opinions abt it. As long as they dont ask i think im good lol

Monkie Kid spoilers & complaining & likely exaggerating things below so avert thine eyes if you don't want to see all that

gterewfs not to add even more to the apparently intolerable trend of bringing up Xiyouji when talking about Monkie Kid but it is kind of funny how I've now seen multiple people say a lot of their dislike of the lego show comes from knowing how Sun Wukong can be depicted when he's not being written as a cringefail hermit (X_X). And as is @seasonalsummers if pressed you can probably just tell your friends that Monkie Kid just isn't your thing & leave it at that. Because yeah I've spoken before how it's not fair to expect people to make their way through the ~1,400 pages of the best English translation of the og classic in developing their sense of the journey and Sun Wukong's whole deal, and the vast diversity of depictions of the Monkey King in retellings does seem to stand testament to how much this monkey can be changed to suit the needs of a story. And as is the existence of Zaju Xiyou Ji does demonstrate how even in China this monkey's had bouts of being depicted as little more than a selfish clown, so maybe this is just the west's version of that lol.

THAT SAID, aaaaaAAAAAAA yeah genuinely is baffling and frustrating watching many people cheer and clap for what feels like the constant traumatization of Qi Xiaotian and the constant use of Sun Wukong as Monkie Kid's punching bag. Like heavens to betsy Flying Bark has so relentlessly focused on how thoroughly SWK screws up everything in both the past and the present and apparently, on his own admission, spent the entirely of his immortality doing little except making one mistake after another (i.e. routinely fucking up his life and the lives of everyone around him) that one really is left wondering why any of the show's cast would want to be even within 50 miles distance of this monkey, which is definitely something made all the more awesome by the sense that maybe the main reason is because the obvious villains of every season are explicitly trying to take over/ blow up the entire world rather than blundering their way into that position :(. And that's a dynamic definitely made even MORE awesome by everyone's favorite poor little meow meow never did anything wrong ever the Six-Eared Macaque spending the majority of his screen time both beating the tar out of Qi Xiaotian and telling anyone who will listen what a dumb bitch Sun Wukong is before the show then bends over backwards to validate his claims all while making sure he's never even slightly called out for the shit he pulls, with the clear favoritism made all the more clearer by such facts as Sun Wukong got screamed at by Long Xiaojiao in an extensive and dramatic scene for putting basically the monkie gang and the entirety of reality in danger through his doofus decisions and yet even though she literally watched the shadow simian beat Qi Xiaotian into unconsciousness and literally had her life seriously threatened by this same monkey until Tang Shifu started oh yeah the Fire of Samadhi ritual she's apparently perfectly fine with working with Mr. Six not long after. Add on top of that the way it now feels like SWK's not even really allowed to be friends with anyone except Macaque or even to interact with any of his other former besties in any meaningful way, and well this is really making for a not fun situation that keeps steering the plot away from some of the most interesting fun and heartfelt things that Monkie Kid could have done. And then on top of that Flying Bark has now shown themselves to have this habit of spending the majority of each season focusing on what a screw-up SWK is before waiting until the last possible episode before characters who up to that point couldn't have made their hatred for the Monkey King and Qi Xiaotian by extension more clear start pulling out abrupt and honestly hand-wavey reasons for why they suddenly like him. IDK! I like a good redemption arc but that's not something you can speedrun and then pretend like it's even remotely satisfying! And definitely doesn't do SWK any favors with the way he just stands there maybe looking kind of sad while someone yells at him for sucking entire before he runs off to suck at everything again and is barely ever allowed to be explicitly and messily upset about that or about what a colossal failure his life is or idk mayhaps what happened to the og pilgrims that apparently resulted in their premature deaths!! For as much as people keep saying they want characters to redeem themselves through living and working to be better and be upset and fucked up about their pasts well it sure might be nice in this situation if we actually got to spend some time on that instead of just relentlessly piling one catastrophic blunder on top of the other! tsetawraer sorry for the rant but yeah still pretty shocked on how much a silly lego show that started off as having fun adventures with the Monkey King would turn into the grimdark adventures of Young Man Traumatized, Asshole Goku, and the Stalker Shadow (X_X)

#ask answered #monkey critical #pour one out for the lego show that would have let swk and his friends find redemption together #and maybe also given MK a smidge of a break

[fairys-dream]

wrote a vent piece using origins victor. yea.

actually its short enough i can probably just put it here too soooo under the cut ⤵️⤵️⤵️

When his Father died, Victor stole a pair of his jeans.

He went through his Fathers drawers and took it.

They were baggy at first, but with age, he grew into them.

The eventual rips and stains were his, but the jeans were still once worn by his Father.

He didn’t ever want to become Him.

Never wanted to hurt Jimmy like he had been at the hands and words of his Father.

But when he yelled, he heard His loud voice. And when he hit, he felt His fists as his own.

Jimmy never fought back.

Never even struggled the times he tightened the grip around his throat.

Victor wished he would.

He ached for him to show some hint of them being the same, selfishly, so he wouldn’t have to feel so guilty.

But part of him barely even registered it was wrong.

Jimmy was his family, his friend, and they needed eachother. They could never leave eachother, so why worry?

When the moment came that finally pushed Jimmy enough to fight back, he could tell the kid was giving his all. It wasn’t enough, but he was trying.

Victor laughed as he took the punches Jimmy threw at him, which only urged the other on more, to Victors delight. He wanted to see that same rage he showed the night he killed their father.

But, as the tears started to fall down Jimmys face, he knew it was time to stop.

As much as he internally wanted to keep pushing him, to keep feeding his own ego, he knew better than to make him cry any harder.

Anger Victor could deal with, but it pained his heart to see his little brother upset.

His father never seemed to notice anyones tears, but Victor saw Jimmys, and that gave him a sense of pride, even when being the rare cause of them in the first place.

Victor wrapped his arms around his brother held him close, nuzzling his face into his wild hair as a silent apology. And, as usual, Jimmy held him back just as tight.

The jeans he wore would always be his Fathers, regardless of the years spent owning them.

His genes would always be His.

Notes:

while at work today, i was thinking about how even though i had ripped holes into the jeans my father gave me as a teenager (that i was currently wearing and still wearing as i write this), they were still technically once his, even though i had made them my own.

so i put my thoughts of my own daddy issues + older brother issues through origins victor.

i dont remember much from my childhood or teen years, so i did my best to remember the reasoning behind the things i did and the ways i felt. i would like to think i was more good than bad, as we were once eachothers closest friend, but i really can only remember small bits and pieces. victor had a different experience since he had to actually take care of jimmy, and i sometimes wonder if i would have been nicer if that were the case with me and my younger brother. im better now, stopped being mean when i was 14, but we dont hangout anymore. my father never hit me, as far as i can remember, so im not sure where i got all the violence from….he was always blind to my tears though. that i do remember.

i had dinner with my father today. i havent lived with him in years and he feels like a stranger now. as we were leaving, he asked if the rips in my jeans were made by me. i said yes, and that the jeans used to be his. he didnt remember giving me them, but i swore that he did. thats probably symbolical for something.

#sabretooth #victor creed #xmen origins #my writing

[ha-youwish]

This is not a vent post, it’s a book recommendation and self-analysis kinda. Please consider reading this, I won’t blame you if you don’t.

Last year around this time, my granddaddy passed away. Usually, online and in formal spaces I would call him my grandfather, but that’s not what I call him and I will not limit myself for this post.

Last year around this time I was beginning my second semester of college ever. I was not doing so well. My grades were low because my attendance was abysmal and my work outside the class was shit. However the previous semester I had taken a class that I was able to stick around for more than the rest.

This class was studying how different major religions and cultures coped with death and how they thought of the afterlife. I bought the books for that class with financial aid and never read them.

Just now I got done reading one of the books, When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner, never read it until I found it sitting around today.

It’s a relatively short book, under 200 pages, about how Kushner deals with the question “Why do bad things happen to good people?” from his place as a rabbi.

Now I don’t have any sort of relationship with god. i’m not strictly atheist or anything but i tend to believe in whatever religion people want me to believe in if they ask me to pray for them or a family member.

when grandaddy died, i had nothing to fall back on. granddaddy was extremely religious and generous, i am so incredibly grateful he was involved in my life and there for me. but people from his church said it was a part of god’s plan or that there was a reason he passed when he did and when i was in such a low state at college already.

i moved away to college and the landlord sold my home. i was in an unfamiliar uncomfortable place where the only place i felt fully comfortable was now completely inaccessible. my mom moved in with grandaddy and took care of him before he passed. it was tense. he was kind but old and stubborn and so is everyone else. the drain of taking care of someone can be worth it, but that doesnt mean its not there.

i was, and am, dealing with severe depression surrounded by other gloomy people who didnt make it much better. i never went to class and i had, and have, crushing guilt that i was wasting the time and money of my family.

and then granddaddy went to the hospital. and then he died. and its unfair.

all of it is unfair, and if it was a part of gods plan then hes fucking unfair too.

now, i have not necessarily moved on. my fingers shake still if i think about it too long. i dont even know if im going to post this because of how exposed and raw i feel. but its important to me that somehow in some way this gets expressed and that someone other than myself will read it.

your suffering was unfair, whether it was a lot or a little. the world is unfair. we all know it. i hope you know that you will never be able to look into the eyes of someone who has never known suffering, and i hope you can find some comfort in that connection.

this book is from the point of view from a religious man. it talks a lot about a god i dont believe in. but the way it talks about suffering and how it effects people makes it helpful for me to parse my own feelings and thoughts.

so feel free to replace god with whatever you want, with humanity and spirit and the universe and everything good. here are some quotes, alt text included:

- sometimes i convince myself that what i feel is nothing more than chemicals, that the regret i feel from not driving home the day before and visiting before he passed was just something my mind is doing.

i once stayed up late at grandaddys house after he passed and i was shoved right back into school like my life hadnt just gotten its shit rocked.

my mom was in her room asleep, but i really couldn’t take it anymore. we stayed up late just talking through how we felt after i had cried to her. and to be completely honest, hearing that she had regrets and wished for just a little more time fucking sucked. knowing the people around you are going through it sucks, even if it was to be expected

but we connected over that long early morning. we resolved almost nothing. i felt the same as i did before and granddaddys still dead and buried. but it was easier to go on after that.

another quote, a tldr if you don’t want to read the book but want to understand what he gets at, in the end of it all.

i dont think i can forgive other people for being unfair, not without effort. but i think i can forgive the universe because the unfairness is proof that people have choices. shit happens, you choose what to do after it.

for a lot of people, mourning and religion bring them the strength to move on, as he talks about in the book. things dont get better because of prayer that god will fix everything or the universe will set itself right again or you can escape through fantasy books to another world,

they get better because something gives us strength to get up again and keep moving. to kushner, thats god and people who came together to support him. to me, i dont know yet, i dont know if i’ve really started to pick up my life yet. but i think this book helped me start to see the bigger picture

#long post #sorry this is kinda personal #but like thanks for reading if you made it this far #im not putting a readmore for Reasons. sorry

[koco-coko]

Ikemen Vampire OC: Elizabeth I

(Don't worry many more ocs are to come, but I thought I'd start with my most 'normal' as of now hehe.)

Also, I modified https://yanderepuck.tumblr.com/post/649268127267504128/free-to-use-character-sheet this for my use so yeah :) Anyways-!

Elizabeth Tudor (Bethy, Lizzie)

General Information

Full name: Elizabeth Tudor

Nickname: Bethy (close friends), Lizzie (acquaintances) 

Age: Unclear, but on the younger side of the mansion 

Nationality: English

Current place of living: The Mansion

Income: (… 'borrowing' Comte’s money) Works odd jobs around Paris, mostly at art galleries.

Birthday: 9/7

Likes: Paintings, theater, music, novels, etc.

Dislikes: Small spaces, inequality, coffee

Background: Former Queen of England, bringer of the Elizabethan Era, England's self-proclaimed Golden Age. Sassy and quick-witted, Bethy always has something to say about everyone and everything, critical or not. Despite her apparent vanity and tendency for self-praising, she’s incredibly generous. Elizabeth actually ends up running herself into debt from how much she ends up donating to art galleries and theaters. To be fair, she was royalty in her past life- She never had to worry about finances like she does now. Thankfully, Comte's 'willing' to deal with her habitual overspending.

Relationships:

Mary Tudor: For your own sake, never bring up her family. Especially her sister. Mary and Elizabeth got along once, but after a deep “falling out” over Mary’s… devotions, Elizabeth wants nothing to do with the Tudor name anymore. If Mary and Bethy are put in the same room, a loud argument is likely to break out in five minutes. (Oh no she's totally not another vampire oc of mine she totally won't show up totally not I'm definitely not making the three main Tudor children at all why would you even thinking that)

Though a few residents find it suspicious she talks about her sister like she’s still alive…

“Oh, there’s a reason she’s nicknamed Bloody Mary. She’s everything I stand against! Now, I’m not a very superstitious person, but… I’d rather not say her name more than twice… She was always sneaking up on me when we were younger…”

Napoleon Bonaparte: One of Elizabeth’s closest friends, being a fellow former ruler and both having eras named after themselves. They often get into heated debates, but it’s all in good fun. They could be yelling one moment, then out for lunch another. Napoleon is also one of the few who have ever seen the deeper side of Bethy, a simple woman who sits alone at night and overthinks far too often. Napoleon is really the only person in the mansion Elizabeth feels safe around, revealing her true thoughts and perception of herself to him. Still, that's only on rare occasion, but it's a start. (she is totally not mainly shipped with him I dont even know whyd you think that mhm yep totally not oc x canon here)

“Oh, please! Crepes again? Is that all you eat?”

“Says the tea fiend. I’m fairly certain you’re made of that drink.”

“At least it’s something dignified. Ugh, let’s just hurry up. I want to get a good seat at this new café, you know!”

“Hey– wait up!”

Vincent Van Gogh: These two became friends by accident. Bethy is friends with both Theodore and William, so they ended up near each other often. Vincent often acts as Elizabeth’s grounding beacon. Bethy tends to overthink and get stuck in her head, so eventually Vincent allowed her to view his paintings whenever she so pleased, whether he’s in the middle of a work or it’s the dead of night. They’ve yet to intentionally spend time with each other, it’s always accidental. That doesn’t stop the two from getting along, though, and Elizabeth is one of the first in line to buy him new paints or donate to the art gallery he’s a part of. She truly admires his work and would support him in any artistic endeavor. Though, William has caught a glint of jealousy in her eyes whenever Vincent and Theo are talking to each other every now and then.

“Hm? Oh, Bethy! Nice to see you. I’m almost finished with this piece.”

“Wow… It’s wonderful, Vincent! Every work of yours's just seems better than the last! Not to say those are any worse, of course. Where are you going to display it”

“Aw, thanks! This one’s just for my Broer. I thought I’d make him something nice. He’s been working so much lately… Bethy? Is something wrong?”

“... Not at all. It’s just… That’s sweet of you, Vincent. You’re a good older brother.”

Theodorus Van Gogh: Both frantic art enthusiasts, these two clicked instantly. Elizabeth was impressed by his dedication to the arts, Theodore was impressed by her’s. They go to art galleries together and tag along to his work when she can. He’s also one of the few that have seen her true side, but unlike Napoleon, neither Bethy or him get very personal about it. Both know the other is more to the other, and they just accept it. In truth, she’s actually a bit jealous of Theo for having such a good relationship with his older sibling. She’d never admit that, though.

“Didn’t expect to see you here, Hondje.”

“Hm. Well, hello to you, too, Theodorus. And for your information, I imagine myself more of a cat type. Cute and cuddly–”

“Horrible and vicious.”

“Aha, yes! Exactly!” 

William Shakespeare: Elizabeth’s best friend in the whole wide world forever and ever and ever and ever! Elizabeth is Shakespeare’s biggest supporter and defender, taking his side over anyone else’s in the blink of an eye. She goes to every one of his plays, donates to his theater weekly, proofreads all his work, and often helps him with costumes and props. There’s a 50/50 chance on any day that she’s at William’s villa instead of the mansion. They’re almost glued to each other, really. They’re so close that many nobles believe they are lovers, but both are entirely against the idea. 

“Me? Courting Will? Ha! You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s disgusting. I wouldn’t even wish that upon my worst enemy!”

“Oh, Bethy. Thy words cut sharp into the heart of mine.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure they do. Now, as I was saying, I believe there were some grammatical errors in Act 5...”

Le Comte: Despite their differences, Elizabeth and the Count get along incredibly well. Bethy spends many nights chatting with Le Comte and becomes a reoccurring partner to galas and balls. The main reason for this is because Elizabeth actually finds navigating and manipulating hedonistic life quite enjoyable. She also joins him so she can get in his good favors. He’s rich, and she often gets into debt… 

At night, Elizabeth can be found with Comte sometimes, drinking tea and speaking about the menial and the existential. She asks him the same question every night. “Why did you give me a contract?” 

At times, they’re two competent adults, and at others, they resemble a teenage daughter asking for dad’s money.

“Why did you give me a contract, Comte?”

“You ask me the same question every night… Do you regret signing it?”

“Not at all. In fact, I’m entirely grateful. I just don’t understand why.”

“Your name is in history, like every other lesser vampire here. Is that not sufficient?”

“... I don’t know.”

BONUS! Arthur Conan Doyle: Elizabeth beats him with her heels whenever he makes a move on her. I mean it. She will snatch her shoe off her own foot and give chase until the end of time if she has to, just to get some good swings to the head. (Theo cheers her on whenever he gets the chance to witness it)

Pet, Prince the Frog: When Elizabeth was first revived, it was raining. The first thing Bethy did after she realized she was alive was to run outside and feel the rain, screaming: “I’m alive! I have no idea how– I’m alive!” While she was out there, she found a frog. In her euphoric state, she found this amphibian life so fascinating, wondering if it could turn into a real prince with a kiss. Unfortunately it didn’t, but Elizabeth has kept him in a large flower vase in her room ever since. And yes, occasionally, she gives him a peck. It never works… but maybe one day…

Physical Characteristics

Addictions: If Bethy gets particularly stressed or upset about anything, she turns to her favorite sweetened teas. She drinks at least 3 cups every day, and when an stressful event occurs, it can easily jump up to 10 and above. Current record is 19.

Bad habits: Bethy bites her nails whenever she’s nervous. Also, whenever she’s mad at anyone, she discreetly starts chewing on her thumb nail specifically. (Elizabethan version of the middle finger).

Eye color: Bright green

Hair color: Hot pink

Skin color: Slightly tanned

Dialect: English, can slip into Old English if she’s upset or passionate about something (or around William in private.)

Drink often: Sweet tea and hot chocolate. Doesn’t find most alcohol appealing.

Good habits: Puts others over herself in almost every scenario, incredibly appreciative of people’s hard work

Height: 5’6”

Hobbies: Going to plays, concerts, art galleries. Window-shopping

Clothing style: Always tries to wear the best dresses she can. Usually wears bright pink, accented by black, and looks very regal (purely on accident). She dresses similarly to Shakespeare, combining the the 15th century clothing with a 19th century style.

Talents: With an incredibly sharp tongue, persuasion is one of her finest skills.

Mental Characteristics

Education: Highly educated for her time due to her status and is constantly spending time in the library so she can catch up with the times. She’s very encouraging to others who want to pursue an education as well (she buys hundreds of books for Jean).

Fears: That one day her sister will return, that she’ll be powerless to stop her. Has a minor case of claustrophobia. 

Life goals(next 5 years): For art and education to be enjoyed by the masses, rich and poor, male and female, etc.

Self-perception: Although she has strong convictions and acts like she belongs wherever she walks, it’s just a cover. Elizabeth struggles intensely with inferiority issues and imposter syndrome. Being called a bastard child from a young age, having to wait the longest to inherit the throne, and being a woman in general made her know what fighting for worth looked like. Now, with the contract and being surrounded by true masters of their craft, she has no real idea why she’s here. She’s no composer or poet, just a girl born slightly lucky. She’s simply an art patron, a member of the audience.  

Self-confidence: Elizabeth’s confidence is a constantly moving scale. She’s confident in her opinions, hardheaded to an end, but she doesn’t have much confidence in herself.

Assumed external perception: Upon first meeting Elizabeth, she can be seen as very self-centered and vain, talking about everything she’d done to improve the world and the latest fashion and makeup. However, overtime, it becomes clear that Bethy is a kind and giving person, putting others before herself so much that it almost gets frustrating. 

Rational or emotional: Emotional reaction, rational response. Elizabeth has strong convictions and is stubborn to a fault. Still, even at her worst, she can put together a good argument.

How could you upset this character: Easy. Mention her sister, brother, mother, or father (basically anything to do with her family) and you’re in for a bad time. For an even easier way, discriminate or insult anyone based on appearances, wealth, etc. 

Sleep habits: One of the lightest sleepers in the mansion. She wakes up at any small noise, making her incredibly drowsy in the morning.

Emotional Characteristics

Emotional strengths: Very empathetic and encouraging. She loves teasing, but knows when she oversteps and does everything she can to apologize whenever she’s unknowingly hurt someone.

Emotional weaknesses: Her convictions are quite strong, so any disagreement can turn into a screaming match with her. That doesn’t lessen her ability with words, but being so easily upset and red-faced can make her seem irrational to onlookers.

Introvert or extrovert? Extrovert. She loves talking and being with people.

How do they cope with:

…Anger: Tears, yelling… It's a surprise that steam isn’t coming out from her ears. It doesn’t take that much to get her upset. Usually to calm herself, she’ll lock herself away in her room and either: read, listen to music, or observe the many paintings in her room. A cup of tea always helps, too.

…Unhappiness: Elizabeth deals with it on the daily. She tries to spend as little time with her own thoughts as often as possible. She’s already prone to overthink– she doesn’t need sadness on top of that. She usually just tries to ignore the feelings and move on with her life, focusing on something else until the feelings go away.

…Rivalry: Oh, she thrives on rivalry. She does everything in her power to one-up Napoleon, after all. In reality, Napoleon is the only person she could ses as a “rival,” though it’s more like the relationship between Theo and Arthur.

…New situations: She loves new situations! She enters them with glee and a skip! 

…Trouble: She tries to talk her way out of most bad situations in a calm, composed way. She only uses violence if absolutely needed. If that happens, she’s watched Napoleon enough to know how to (kind of) handle a sword, though she’s equipped with a dagger whenever she goes into the city alone.

Meaning of life: To create and understand the world. Bethy believes life reflects art more than it does life, and that the act of creating is the most human thing a human (or vampire) can do. 

What would they change about themselves: Elizabeth sees herself as a supporting character. Although she’s ashamed of it, she secretly dreams for the spotlight to hit her one day. That doesn’t mean she wants to be thanked for any of the work she does, though.

What motivates them: Her need to prove herself, to do good in the world. She wants art and life to be enjoyed by all.

What scares them: Her sister, first and foremost. Next in line is people who aren’t open to discussion and changing their minds. Even hardheaded Elizabeth is willing to listen at times.

What makes them happy: Elizabeth usually attends art exhibitions alone due to the fact she can get lost in a painting for hours at a time. It’s rather embarrassing for her if someone notice’s the usually loud and bombastic Bethy staring at a painting like a child staring into a candy store. 

Are they often biased: Bethy will always take William's side, then the underdog’s over anyone else’s. 

Give or take? Give

Nice or rude? Rude

Pet peeves: She hates the smell of coffee with a passion. She asked for her bedroom to be farthest from the kitchen so she wouldn’t have to deal with the smell in the morning. She also tends to be easily annoyed by people who talk during plays or concerts.

Guilty pleasures: Bethy will indulge in teas any day of the week. Especially in the morning, when everyone is brewing coffee. 

Images:

(i don't draw so picrews are the best i can do until I can save enough for to be able to commission so...)

Yippee -insert autism creature here-

(Also @yanderepuck bc they said they were interested in reading the oc bio so um yeah)

As of posting this I've yet to make any masterposts but I will soon!!!! Eventually,,,

#ikevamp oc: Elizabeth I #oc profile #ikevamp oc #ikevamp #ikemen vampire

[goremet-chef]

guhh im so bothered rnn (vent/rant)

so... i? idk. ive been out as trans in my house since 2020. my mom doesnt call me dom (sometimes she does if my sibling encourages her to, but she defaults back to my deadname anyways) and ive learned to accept it. i dont think she ever will and its sad for me, the reality that once i start my transition, ill need to just.. leave a lot of my family behind. they think its some rebellious choice like i hate all of them but im more worried about them hating me

my mom says shes supportive but is actively right wing, shes having an inner battle with her ideologies, i know that. i can tell by how she talks about homeless people vs how she talks about us being queer

so. whatever. thats my mom i guess. but for a long time, i wasnt out to my moms husband. i despise him and ive never intentionally started a conversation with him, let alone come out. ive started to not care about what he thinks. i know what he thinks, he thinks gays should die, said it straight to my gay siblings face. okay, cool. doesnt concern me, moms bf is absolutely fucking nothing to me.

to remedy this sort of like... we didnt wanna DEAL with what he might say if he heard both my siblings calling me dom, cuz both of them do, so whenever theyre around they would just refer to my deadname, but i saw it made them cringe, so now everyone calls me 'that one child'

that one, other one, etc etc

no one even calls me my name anymore

it makes me feel so hopeless. ive EXPRESSED it makes me upset but my younger sibling doesnt care (the one most guilty of it), because they dont understand why it upsets me, i guess thats enough reason to keep going

its so dehumanizing to be reduced to actually nothing. i ALREADY have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of identity issues. sometimes it gets so bad i start having crazy ass delusions, sometimes im not even present and its a different part of my mind in my body

its hard enough as is!!! now my family wont call me anything at all

it makes me feel less bad about leaving, but i dont think ill ever leave at this rate

need to start T, change my name, get a job, all in that order. starting T seems impossible at this rate. i.. dont know what to do. i cant keep LIVING like this, because im not living at all

i never leave my house because im too ashamed in how i look, i cant BEAR the thought of anyone else perceiving me as female, i cant fucking do it!!! im so tired. my house is like a prison for me, genuinely.

and my family dont get it, obviously. they think its my choice, im some kind of hermit who doesnt care about being outside because i have internet. they are so fucking wrong. i miss going out, i miss being around people, i miss existing like everyone else, but i just cant do it man. not like this

so it becomes a waiting game, when am i gonna bring up starting it? how do i even move forward once i do? what if she says no? id have to do it on my own but i cant.. i cant even order things for myself without freezing like shutting up will get me out of there, i cant fucking do it

she doesnt even know!! we were in the car together and she was like yknow theres people who cant even make a doctors appointment. what losers.

IM losers, would she have said that if she knew? does she know and decided to say it anyways? i dont know, but its just.. everything seems so hopeless at this point. i want to just give up, accept im not gonna be who i truly am, but man i cant stand being any more miserable

it makes me wanna cry, the only time i get to feel myself how i think i should be is either if i draw something fictitious, or if i spend hours in the mirror making sure i look masculine, my mustache is convincing, etc. AND FOR WHAT? literally for fucking WHAT, because i dont leave the house anyways!!!!! dolled up like i have somewhere to be, like my appearance will get me what i want, when im stuck at home! i got nothing to prove to them, they think what they think

its fucking dreadful. im so scared of my life passing me by, and here i am wasting away in my bedroom for the last 3 years. no progress, nothing. at first, i was scared about even starting T because theres a higher risk of heart disease, but. i dont fucking care if it KILLS me. i dont care!!! if it kills me i dont fucking care im not living the life i want to live anyways. the risk of death is worth it at this point, i mean that so seriously

idk. im just tired, is all. i wish everyone could perceive me the way i dream they would. only time that happens is online, or when im not with my family at all and instead with my friends. but we only hang out like. once in a blue moon

and yknow what? im not even safe then. i remember we were at my friends house for halloween last year (we always meet up). i had my full leatherface costume one, my face was touched up to make it look like the mask. and still. dressed that way, when my friends mom asked me what my name was, i said dom and she was immediately like. "oh, dominique?" no. my name is fucking DOMINIC.

i didnt say anything besides correcting her, but it was such a blow, man. the only time ill be happy is if im closely monitoring every single thing i do, to make sure i dont appear feminine at all. no matter how i look, now matter how deep my voice is. miserable. why would anyone think that id choose this

#tw transphobia #tw dysphoria #tw queerphobia #tw misgendering