#i dont have the energy to come out to everyone

[wade-a-minute]

Deadpool's voice and its media portrayals

I read this post by @jhirowolf and @spider-mand, which inspired me to make my own post specifically about dp's voice - please read the og post first!

In the comics it's known that Deadpool has a unique voice - his speech boxes are yellow while everyone elses' are white. What makes it unique is its quality (it's described as rough, raspy and gravelly) but I also think that it's its cadence too (i'll get in to this below). Unfortunately, Ryan's voice in the movies doesn't really come close to this - for multiple reasons.

Ryan's voice physically is very smooth and also pretty high but I get the sense that as dp, he doesnt really do much for his voice, he is pretty much just himself and cracking jokes. As @jhirowolf pointed out, he kind of has this smooth, sarcastic tone. For me the vibe is that of a stereotypical side-character who mumbles sarcastic comments at whatever the other characters are doing. Ryan's voice is often mellow, calm and even

I dont have concrete examples right now, but in the comics SO many characters call Wade insane mere minutes upon meeting him, despite the fact that they dont know anything about him apart from the fact that he is a mercenary.

Why? Because of his voice!

Immediately upon hearing him talk they conclude he is unhinged and unstable and generally unwell. He's loud, aggressive, speaks a mile a minute and on top of that makes dark jokes serious situations that no one else laughs at. It freaks people out and rightfully so! Adding on to this, I think he varies his pitch and rhythm frequently, further making him appear unstable because his voice is never even or monotone for more than a few seconds. I'm basing this on the fact that his speech bubbles are so much bigger than everyone else's (he talks a lot) and also bc he varies his facial expressions and body language a lot when he speaks.

@jhirowolf mentions that Denis Leary was the inspiration for his voice, which i had no idea about but looking at this video, I think his cadence is perfect. You feel that unlimited energy, the loudness, the unpredictableness, his voice and the look behind his eyes make him seem manic and frantic - which it should! It puts people on edge around him, gives him his reputation of being unpredictable and also makes him regard him as insane. Wade doesnt give a shit about norms for socializing, how loud or crass he is - hes got shit to say and hes gonna say it, no matter how much it may annoy, offend or make others uncomfortable

i think the teaser trailer for the first movie could be Ryans best work when it comes to wades voice

Conversely, this video could be the worst:

Like this is purely Ryan, theres no deadpool here. its just his own shameless self-promo in a dp suit

Nolan's voice, on the other hand, isn't perfect either bc it kind of has the similar smooth quality as ryans, its not gravelly, raspy or anything. But his cadence is soo good! He's calm one minute but you never know when he's gonna snap and lose his shit, i love it

And yeah, Nolan's performance and the funny moments are the only good thing to come out of this game (well i guess another positive is that it made him more popular, it certainly was one of my first encounters which made me interested in him). The bad thing is the amount of damage it did to the complexity of dp's character - they stripped away his layers, the serious and tragic parts that make up who he is, instead of this they literally gave him 1 trait - insane. And that was it. I blame Way's 2008 run for this bc he essentially did the same thing - but the game turned it up to 11. Way at least included several serious and earnest moments where Wade was forced to be introspective and face his issues

in conclusion - so far our ears havent yet been blessed to hear wade's voice

#if anyone has any other video examples pls tell me #these were just off the top of my head #deadpool #wade wilson

[cringefail-clown]

I think you should make Gamzee the manager but no one knows thats his role until one day Calliope mentions it and they're like "wait what? We have a manager?" because he tends to just be in the back taking care of the pastries/food

that is terrible i love it im doing it

#ask #gamzee makara #cam cafe au #ye im giving it a name whaddabout it #its cal who made him a manager behind callies back #they were mad about it but didnt have time nor energy to change his position #and the manager is doing jack shit anyway in their establishment just a glorified title so she left it at that #which led to a few interesting confrontations with karens wanting to speak to the manager #everyone b like “you really dont want to” “yes i want to” “well ok godspeed” #and here comes this tall creepy guy crawling out of the backroom. he calls them a motherfucker #theres still some unwashed clown paint on his face #karen never comes back

[spookysinner45]

.

#sorry im having some major negative energy rn and i just want to get it out. #everything seems so hard #drawing writing even just waking up only to realize the day has started is just such a task #i feel like everything has been taken away from me just to dangle in front of me how much of a loser and joke i am to the world #everyone keeps wondering why i dont do this or dont do that its just... so much #im just gonna drown my sorrows in alcohol and weed it makes life bearable at least #im sorry this is going a lot #i feel like such an annoying bitch just coming here to vent my issues like its anyone elses problem #but its either this or meltdown at work

[ozymoron]

reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

#⚠️ #personal #having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason #cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin #clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person #regardless of what the actual post is about #i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions #cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have #the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy #idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person #the fact i even struggle with this #sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me #maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared #cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping #how much is too much when do i stop #<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense #like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of #those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do #this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something #cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man #im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion #i feel like most times its both #i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like #showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online #idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd #vent #so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again #lord i need to get out of here

[elegyofthemoon]

wait actually this one post makes a good point i wish there was actually tags to separate between hsr and hi3 bronseele and on that note actually any of the overlapping characters alskdjfha but the search engine sucks ass on this website so you'll always have overlap either way i think :I

#LIKE !!!!! OK!!!!!! I DO REALLY LIKE BRONSEELE!!!!! BUT ALSO!!!!!! I LIKE HI3 BRONSEELE AND WISH TO LOOK AT STUFF FOR THEM NOT HSR!!!!!!!!! #whhhh i was running into the same problem with cocolia before too T _ T #and its fINE because i saw some servalia while doing so but whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh T _ T come onnnnnnnnnn i just wanna look at hi3 stuuuuuuffff #ok maybe this is also like. the worlds sign for me to STOP JUMPING INTO THE TAGS INSTEAD OF PLAYING THE GAME AND STOP SPOILING YOURSELF #but T _ T #i could also just go bother my friends as well about hi3 but i also dont wanna be a bother #... so i decide to. bother? everyone???? by posting???? #illogical. #IT IS DISTRIBUTED ANNOYANCE #anyways point is: i like bronseele's dynamic a lot in hi3 #it actually made me appreciate the bronseele dynamic more in hsr bc i can see where it takes inspiration from #though i feel that the dynamic got switched around for hsr bronseele #but ill spare talking about that LAKSJDFALKSH #snow plays hi3 #i /guess/ im starting a tag on that its fine lmao #anyways if anyones interested i have plans to finish ch 11 and 11 ex tonight. #'but snow thats like 3 hours long and its near bed time' listen i am on a mission. the only thing stopping me right now is the fact that #i told myself i should finish reviewing (but am Very distracted) #and the fact that the game Also is like 'girl you need to STOP YOURE OUT OF STAMINA' #watch me down all these energy drinks (idk what they are) THEN TELL ME I NEED TO STOP #besides i had a pretty good day re: studying today and ive been doing good with my questions ^u^ #so im bout to beat the holy shit out of this exam. whether the exam likes it or not i Will Eviscerate You. #that and i need to recuperate because I was burned out pretty bad today but when i came back from getting lost (wandering around) for like #hours i did fine so weehee #break day and then we'll be in the long haul till tuesday myeheh

[sonofsin]

love love love being woken up three!!!! three days in a row!!!! by one of my triggers that I cannot fucking escape! I can't go anywhere to escape, all I can do is curl up and try to block the sounds out with super loud music.

#it doesn't fucking work. im on the verge of a screaming sobbing fucking meltdown and I have been awake for less than 10 minutes!!!! #stuck between homocidal and suicidal too which is a terrible place #I cant do this I cant do this please someone just come and fucking kill me so I can escape #I hate everyone who lives in this buidling. I hate them all. #not even convinced im adam rn but I dont have the energy to figure out who. everything is just bad.

[hella1975]

id like it to be known that i wholeheartedly support abortion. i support abortion for the person whose pregnancy has become too dangerous to come to term. i support abortion for the victim of rape. i support abortion for those who don't have the financial means to have a child. i support abortion for those underage. i support abortion for someone middle-aged with a stable family and finances and loving partner who quite simply does not want a child. i support abortion for people who sleep around. i support abortion for someone who thought they wanted a child but changed their mind. i support abortion in all its infinitely different situations. if it comes to me picking between a bunch of cells that look like fish eggs and an actual living breathing person with a name and future then babe we're having caviar

#fun fact! 9/10 abortions happen before 12 weeks #and over half happen in the first 8 weeks #at 12 weeks your fetus (bc it's not even a baby yet if u want to be technical) is the size of a lime. a fucking lime #i wasnt going to make a post about this bc i dont like bringing politics onto tumblr #bc after how jaded i got with covid and now Everythign Else i wanted a site that could be safe from real world shit #and also it's very tiring that an American Issue suddenly becomes Everyone's Issue and it can be quite frustrating #when that energy isn't met for literally any other country. and i didnt want to contribute to the en masse posting about roe v wade atm #for those two reasons (at least on tumblr. im not actually spiteful about this and obviously really care about the topic. it's just tiring) #but it's come to my attention that somehow i have pro-lifers in these parts #and i want to make it very fucking clear that i dont want them here #me and this blog are completely wholeheartedly pro-choice in any form it may show itself as #because i have enough critical thinking skills to know two basic facts #1) that people have ALWAYS had abortions. the only thing that's changed is the safety in which they're carried out #you will NEVER get rid of them you will only ever endanger the people and women you're trying so hard to 'protect' #and 2) i have never heard of a single person that was happy to get an abortion. not one. it's not a fun experience #it's incredibly hard and traumatic but oftentimes necessary for whatever personal reason specific to that person #stop fucking making laws about other people's bodies #it really shouldn't be difficult

[gifti3]

Im cursing [REDACTED] right NOW

#god i better never have contact with this guy again or i might flip out on him #im about to ramble about my past “dating" adventures (we were casual but sheesh cant even be friends with this guy tbh) #im realizing months later how much this guy i used to talk to sucked #like DUDE be a better or stay single FOREVER (ΘдΘ) #and by that i mean learn how to better handle approaching others feelings! #god the way he would just shutdown others ppls feelings and it was just an endless loop of “that doesnt make sense” or “thats dumb” #sure emotions can be irrational but if someone is desperately TRYING to explain why they feel a way (even if theyre struggling to be clear) #maybe dont be so dismissive #like literally one time i was annoyed cause talking to him was grating on my nerves #and i was like ik it doesnt make sense so let me step away cause im annoyed #and hes like trying to logic me out of my annoyance??? #like worstie im literally walking away so i can cool off #leave it be! #god looking back on all this.... #i hope to god whoever hes talking to (if hes talking to anyone) isnt dealing with similar things #ppl can change so ill just hope for that #or maybe he'll meet his match #someone who reflects the same energy he has! #tho im not sure if hed like that haha #the guy seemed to have a lot of relationship problems in general (romantic and platonic) and i wanted to have the benefit of the doubt #but now im thinking maybe his personality was also just clashing with everyone elses #which isnt necessarily a bad thing on its own #gotta get context for everything u know #but in this case....naur #like im a pretty anxious person so how ppl i care about will react to what im doing or saying is constantly at the back of my mind! #so ppl who just come off as flippant about my fee fees annoy me fr #im like “ahh what if i upset so and so” constantly #trying to make sure not to make things harder for them #and they cant even spare me a single thought before doing something and dismiss me when i get upset #but also they wanna come to me when theyre feeling sad about something???

[alasy]

advices are welcome because i ✨dont know anything anymore✨

#this friend of mine is the sweetest #we always got along even though we're very different #in the way that im a very closed off person i dont like social media and i will not reply to texts and its nothing personal its just me #he on the other hand is very talkative. loves showing affection and has like 3 different podcasts and he's friends with literally everyone #long story short he graduated and moved cities it's been 3 months #also i went through a very bad depressive episode and im still crawling out of it #he says im distant and its not because the lack of texts but because there isnt a way to communicate with me #i say im depressed and its disappearing is nothing new and he knows this. that all im asking is time #he says he's anxious and has abandonment issues and that his love language is words of affirmation #i say i was never a person that says much from the beginning and listed all other things ive done and sacrifice myself for him #he says he understands and he feels loved and cared for by me. still his love language is words of affirmation and he needs it #it feels like a demand even though he keeps saying it's not #he says there's nothing wrong with me being an overall absent person and that the problem is with him #his insecurities and words of affirmation is the way out of it #and i dont know what to do anymore #i want someone to tell me im in the wrong and that friends give in for each other #but everyone keeps saying this is not okay and i dont know i understand where he's coming from #i just .... im so tired #'ik you said you dont have energy but do you see where im coming from?' left a bad taste in my mouth #idk my heart is heavy im so exhausted and i wish he had read that damn text i sent him carefully and not rushed to replu #reply* #how can a person respect your boundaries and still cross them and then no it's actually you misunderstanding? #aita #personal

[autisticlee]

it always pisses me off when people start ghosting me and completely cut me off and think i'm annoying because I didn't ~get the hint~ all because they're too much of a coward to be straightforward and honest with me!!!!

i'll keep asking about a thing or when we are hanging out or try to converse with them, because their response is always excuses and not straight up "no" so how am I supposed to know?! either short responses of 1-5 words that I can't really respond to or things like "I'm busy this weekend/I'm too tired today/I forgot about it/we can try next time/I'll get back to you and le you know" are apparently all hints and lies to hide the truth. what they really mean when they tell me this is "no, stop asking. stop talking to me. I do not want to hang out with you or talk to you anymore"

why can't you just say that?! it will save you the annoyance of me asking you 20 times because i took your words at face value. your excuses sound temporary and you didn't get back to me so maybe you forgot. there are rare times people say these things and it's the truth or they really did forget!!!! when I say it, it's the truth. I also have a bad memory. you can't just suddenly ghost me for that! it's on you if you aren't being honest with me. it's up to you to be straightforward and tell the truth so you don't waste both our time. (what's worse is this is usually one of the first things I tell people when we meet. that I need then to be straightforward and honest. they promise they will but that's also a lie)

ghosting is so cruel (when the other person has no bad intentions/isnt causing harm). more cruel than telling me to my face you hate me and never want to speak again! i actually prefer that, so i at least know and can give up on your useless ass and stop wasting my time. don't give me false hope when i'm really excited to be friends and hang out, don't waste my time and energy and efforts, and don't lead me on with lies only to crush my entire soul when I find the truth much later. just say it and get it over with!!!! it's your fault if I annoy you by "not taking the hint" because there was no hint, lying isn't a hint. spill the truth and don't blame me for it!!!!!!

this is why i've given up with people and now only give attention to the ones who contact me first every time continuously, and I put little effort into anything anymore. I know that will end up making some people give up on me by thinking i dont care. but I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on the people who put no effort into me. you must prove yourself and keep doing it or I won't try at all. the people who ghost me and hurt me are to blame. yes, I live a very lonely existence with maybe one friend I talk to once every week or two for a total of 5 minutes at most. yes I wish I had more connections or closer ones. but i'm SO FUCKING TIRED. i'm tired of trying so much and so hard just for people to shit on my efforts and disrespect my needs and boundaries!!!!!!

why should I keep trying when it always ends bad and adds yet another layer to my trauma.

#it happens every time!!!!!!!! i dont havw the spoons amd energy to keep giving these people every piece of me. theres nothing left!!!!! #people always tell me keep trying dont give up dont cut yourself off from everyone etc #but everyone cuts ME off so wtf am i supposed to do????? keep wasting energy and brain power just to let them keep doing it?! #its like if you spend a year carefully crafting a custom blanket for someone. putting in all your love and time and energy. give it to them #AND THEY SER IT ON FIRE AND WALK AWAY. NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING HOW HARD YOU WORKED OR ANYTHING #that's what its like every time i try with people. it's a waste and i never get anything good out of it 😭 #so why would it be wrong to protect myself by taking the part of the cold and unresponsive one for once? act like them instead? #no try or give someone much attention until they do like i always did and put in a ton of effort and keep it going? #if someone tries as hard as i always did then they must be good and worthy of keeping around and putting some effort into myself right? #ugh idk. i hate all of this and humans arent good at being good friends and im tired of trying to be one too #perhaps me not trying will make people think i dont care about them so they give up still anyway. well oh well #that means they didnt try gard enough and would have given up anyway. if i dont get attached or care much first then it hurts less #i know everyone tries to make me feel better by saying stuff like the right ones exist and my people are out there or whatever #but i will not believe it until i see it. because it's possible that is not true. it's possible i'll never have real/close friends #what then????? what do i do about that?? people love telling me i'll find the right people but no one steps up to try being that one #this all sounds doom and gloom but I'm just venting. in reality i just give it 3 tries. #if a person makes excuses or doesnt respond or doesnt carry the conversation 3 times on a row i will give up and it's their move. #if they dont come forward at all then we are done and i will never reach out to or speak to them again. if they want me they can prove it #lee rambles #autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism things #autistic friendship #friendship problems #loneliness #communication #cptsd #rsd #the fun thing about the cptsd and rsd combo is when people do these things i get hit with a wave if every past experience and relive it 🙃

[thickest-slimiest-malware]

ofc ive always had adhd, but personally what really fucked up my attention span is agar.io (and being depressed enough to play it for hours every day. people whose lives are ok dont do that shit)

#like im financially stable but really really really really lonely and it was covid when i started + body image problems etc #im already taking all the meds i can this is more of a skill issue #lets break down why my life is so bad: im rude to people and end up randomly (accidentally?) upsetting them often #so its hard to maintain friendships #im on social media for friends instead of irl bc messing up irl is scarrier but combined with agario its messing with my attention span #(it didnt use to. how i use social media just changed. i used to watch long videos and fine tune my tumblr feed) #+ lets be honest the world is kinda scary and difficult for everyone #also its hard to find true communist queer autistic polish people who dont drink AND are not on tiktok #but still i should really get out there #i should sleep more eat better excersize more and idk maybe i would have more energy. idk how much of it is incurable chronic fatigue #but i need energy to get out there. i have time just not the energy #and maybe not the confidence. admittedly my confidence is very fake and fragile and i can talk to people but when i fail i crumble #crumble is such a cool word. crumble bumble doo be di doo. i have a little red present for you #i like rhyming with scatting. you can just say whatever. one of my fav cartoon gags is when you can kinda tell what the character will rhym #like 'crumble bumble doo be di dosis my mother has come down with osteoporosis' #ok going to sleep now goodnigth

[pepsitwist]

still dodging rampage spoilers like theyre the fucking plague, but i gotta say, i have no idea why they did it tonight. seeing how late everything went just...why? why do this tonight? ive only ever been to two shows and BOTH shows had issues with everyone leaving after dynamite. which is understandable. you go in, watch dark elevation, watch dynamite (which arguably always has the more interesting booking and most of the storylines), and then still have an hour to go? so adding on a whole SECOND HOUR onto the pretaped THIRD SHOW you watch in a night is just too much. 

#i went to week two of fyter fest this year and lemme tell you. by rampage almost everyone was gone #one half of the arena was already empty so having more than half of the ppl that DID come leave?? #that ruined the energy #cannot IMAGINE having a second hour of rampage like this tonight #im surprised anybody stayed #and if the booking is as bad as ppl are saying then holy shit #i REALLY cant believe ppl stayed. tk has to figure this shit out #soooo sick of the whole 'this is gonna be an amazing show' instantly followed by one of the shows being god awful #if youre doing a special rampage. then DONT DO IT ON WEDNESDAY!! #as soon as i heard it was filmed tonight i was somuch less excited #also terrified that this means eddie v sammy had the ending changed from what it was supposed to b originally #sounds like the kind of thing theyd change for some terrible reason unknown to any man #anyways. yeah. im mad. im annoyed. im frustrated. #trying to enjoy this damn company is hard sometimes. fuck #just look at how this shit goes!!! anyone couldve told you like 6 hours worth of wrestling is too much for the general population!!!

[annyankers]

The cons of this fandom and how old as fuck it is is that sometimes I don’t think it can handle massive shaking up of the characters. Like we have to address all the character changes in the work of the fic but why not just fucking???? Make a new one and yeet them into that spot???

like I could create a platonic ideal xander but if I just started off the story in media res with an Elite Chad Xander and act as if this is just the Xander we always had bc we all have issues with the canon one I feel like I’d get shit about it even from people who hate canon xander.

Tl;dr: Mohawk weed skateboard adhd xander is a superior xander but if I ever used him in my fics I would likely be hunted like an animal and that’s honestly a failing of society and not me

#train.txt #ITS A 25+ YO FANDOM LETS GET MORE AGGRESSIVE W/ OUR RETCONNS #and I mean just totally delete out canon xander or angel or whoever and inserting a more interesting/cohesively written version from day 1 #‘oh but that’s not canon you have to follow canon w/ the characters at least in a canon based fic!’ eat my ENTIRE ass #there’s THOUSANDS of fics that follow canon RELIGIOUSLY lets GET MORE EXPERIMENTAL WITH OUR SHIT #REWORK ANGEL AND MAKE HIS CHARACTER NOT WOOD AND HIS ARCS BETWEEN SHOWS FLOW BETTER #if you demand everyone in a fanfic to strictly adhere to their canon interpretation and don’t want new renditions in canon verse fic #I’m in your walls and I’m coming for you #I wanna use my Superior Xander Content but lol even if I used him in my most crowd pleasing fic I feel like it would be an issue #anyway I just think people are cowards and everyone should explore more with HEAVILY reworking canon even when writing bog standard stuff #writing a s5 spu.ffy fic that sticks pretty close to canon? completely rewrite all of anya’s character to be more like her s3 energy #entirely bc you just find that more compelling than how she gets flanderized later #hate xander? DELETE HIM AND MAKE YOUR OWN SEXIER XANDER #DELETE HIM AND COPY AND PASTE EDDIE INTO HIS SPOT AND ACT LIKE HES BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME #MAKE AN OC FOR THAT ROLE I DONT CARE JUST BREAK OUT AND DO WHATEVER YOU FIND COMPELLING!!! #god I’m SO unhinged about this

[tunderilona]

why does no one ever assume that im in a relationship. i easily could be. if i wanted to. <- is lying

#me: yeah im planning to move before spring #literally everyone: moving out of your parents? :) #well. not my parents per se but come on. why doesnt ANYONE ask me if im planning to move in with my boyfriend...... #im not because i dont have one but jesus christ. im radiating incel energy apparently

[chanstopher]

`

#i didnt wanna put this under the tags of that post and have ppl reblog them #but im not sure when i'll be back for real #im having a really rough go at things rn and i dont have the energy to be very social or to really interact with anyone #i keep telling myself i wanna come back already but i know im not actually ready to #so yeah im not gonna be around at least probably for another week #i wanna at least try to be around before the concert since i promised to meet ppl in nj #but rn im just worn out so bad i cant handle being online #but i love you guys and im totally creeping when i can to make sure everyones ok #i love you and i miss you all so much #ok <3 bye

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

#delete later #i keep having panic attacks and need to think of something else so here's my essay on mr magoriums wonder emporium #vs my brain #the first thing you gotta understand is that im autistic and have always felt like im not supposed to be here. #i used to talk to the moon all the time and always felt like i belonged up there with her more than i ever did in the world #the second thing you gotta understand is that i didnt hage friends for a large part of my childhood and instead found solace in reading #and making things that made me happy and felt right abd good #fhe third thing you gotta understand is ive got mad daddy issues #and the fourth is that although i thought myself very smart as a kid i was also constantly certain that i was an idiot who was #trickong everyone and that i wouldn't go anywhere #so in comes this film. one main character is a young boy who cant make any friends. who has specific interests and who makes things #one main character is a woman who was a prodigy until she ran out of hope and energy #one main character is a man who is completely seperated from what makes him happy and the wirld around him #and the last main character is a kind old man who supports them all whilst always knowimg and being at peace qith the fact #that he was different abd wasn't meant to stay #i still dont know which character i identified more with as a child. i think its probably all of them at obe point or another #but the major one was mr magorium himself. bc he made his world so it fit him. and was not ashamed of any of it. #he was completely at peace with the fact that he was different that very few pelple understood him that he was noticeably weird #and he was loved for it. #and then he died. abd not to be a downer but my childhood was filled with obsessions about how i was going to die #how much it would hurt how much blood there'd be. i think this was the first film i saw where it was so simple. it was just his time #obviously the way i thought about death was never healthy bc after those obsessions came the suicidal ideation #but this film presented it in such a neutral matter of fact way. its just a fact of life. it doesnt matter hoe prepared you are #its always hard it always hurts but it must happen anyway. after my grandma died i didnt have yhe ability at the time to process it #but this film helped. abd now when i try to make ky thoughts about death more neutral and not fear or hope based #i think about this movie. and i think about all the joy it presented in living abd accepting yourself in all your oddness #and it makes me feel a little bit sad that a place like that doesnt exist. but it also majes me a little bit happy and a little bit hopeful