#i dont love me

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

#greek mythology #ares #athena #greek gods #dont get me wrong it aint athena slander but it sure is ares praise #on some level at least #man justly accused of bad things deserves some mid praise more at 11 #thank you romi for helping me with words though i duly noted you insisted on ares not being cautious rather than him not being careful #romi be like “i want him to care” and honestly good you should say it #also EPIC led to this and i just..... i want to draw some animatics man i just need infinite time now #my long lost love for greek myths just will never stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming #i want some vulture design in here for ares but not sure about this one #kochei doodles

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[mera-mann-kehne-laga]

RAPUNZELLLLLLL

YEEEEEEESSSSSS I LOOOVEE HERRRR (me)

#no just kidding #i dont love me

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

#nonbinary love #nblnb yearning #nb4nb #nblnb #wholesomeposting #yearning hours #ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense #so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me” #and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc #but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership #i think about this mostly in terms of ecology #and relation to land #but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers #like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs #but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while #and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well #when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else #its understood i just mean the city where i live #so why cant we apply the same to lovers? #mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again #ok #done now

[crows-home]

part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.

ID by @peachygos

[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.

The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"

The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]

#nimona #nimona movie #my art #i dont know WHY the relationship between these two made me so happy. genuinely. but i was tearing up when they held hands #idk man. just- the feeling of 'ah. friendship between these two men like always. i see-' and then #'OH. oh god theyre in love. that so sweet. i wasnt expecting that what the fuck.' #im not an outwardly emotional person

[dasketcherz]

it was a pretty cool dlc, i enjoyed it a lot

#daske art #fnaf #fnaf ruin #dlc ruin #fnaf dlc #fnaf security breach #five nights at freddy's #fnaf sb #five nights at freddy's security breach #security breach ruin #fnaf gregory #fnaf cassie #fanart #digital art #my new sweet daughter #she's so precious???and i love her so much??? #she deserves the damn world #also dont at me #gregory did NOT betray his bestie #i dunno what you think that thing was #but that was NOT my son!!! #i need another dlc where we go back to the plex to bring our bestie back as gregory #idc if it repetitive at this point #let my children reunite dammit!!

[sadclowncentral]

what i love most about this tumblr poll era is that all of us immediately decided to unleash every single social behaviour experiment of the last century onto each other in a way that would make even the hardiest of psychologists tremble. it's like if lab rats saw what the scientists were doing and decided to cut out the middle man

#dont get me wrong i fucking love it

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

“ugh stop being excited about the barbie movie you know it’s just a 2hr advertisement” yeah bitch so was the lego movie?? the mario bros movie??? the sonic movie??? every transformers??? every mcu film??? gee golly gosh what’s different about this movie than all those others

#and dont bitch me out i LOVE the sonic movie i LOVE the lego movie #but y’all’s biases are showin 👀 #barbie #mine

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area #so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying #even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations #now things are more calmed but damn #mind your own bussiness #i believe she knows more about herself than you #sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind #insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about” #or because they “just have to wait for the right person” #or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something” #i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself #and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one #aromantic #arospec #asexual #aroace #acespec

[soldrawss]

*holds face tenderly*

#my art #toh #the owl house #toh hunter #toh willow #toh gus #toh huntlow #huntlow #toh winter #ive been so good about commissions that i drew something so self indulgent #as a treat to myself #dont worry shes ok #just got elbowed to the face and her glasses broke #just wanted to draw hunter worried #love me a boy that cares SO MUCH #might do a part 2

[riotb0nes]

rian johnson you've done it again

#glass onion #knives out #knives out glass onion #my art #blancs not here but dont get me wrong i love him

[feyooons]

what if crowley decided to get a motorbike for s2? ^-^

ft. azi turning it into a yellow scooter 🤧

#digital painting #good omens #artists on tumblr #digital illustration #artwork #crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale #good omens au #ineffable husbands #art #motorbike au #DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE THE BENTLEY!!

[ghostqiu]

i call this piece “haha sunday, fuck u, we double crossed u”

#IDCCC I LOVE THEM SO MUCHH #they dont even count as a toxic couple 2 me they’re just shit talkers #honkai star rail #hsr #my art #aventio #dr ratio #aventurine #hsr aventurine #art

[inkskinned]

i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.

most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.

it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.

and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).

i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.

grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.

#warm up #writeblr. #i am not going to personally comment on the pineapple debate #some things are too big for me. #maybe we could have everything on earth choose their own names. #wouldn't that be fun #it is a creative writing exercise. okay. ily #''why only these languages?'' ..... bc i dont know every language #sorry :( #PLEASE leave me comments about what words u think are correct. i love learning them #btw! this isn't saying these are the most BEAUTIFUL words for it... just the words that are the most CORRECT #like i quite like the word ''keynote'' as mentioned. it's got a lot of fun sounds in it. #but it is not CORRECT. #''gloaming''' is interesting and fun and poetic but it is NOT correct . evening is MORE correct #but less beautiful. #does that make sense?

[reineydraws]

i dont have a caption for you lol i'll let shanks's heart eyes speak for themselves 🫶

(source)

#mishanks #akataka #dracule mihawk #hawkeyes mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #one piece #one piece fanart #incorrect one piece quotes #op fanart #i have accidentally signed up for too much to draw as lesurely as i have been lol soz 🙏 #but i noticed my blog got taken off the mishanks tag's top blog list which clearly means i havent posted enough abt them recently LOL #comic #op comic #shanks: no u dont understand. he only calls me by my first name when he's feeling soft and he would never let anyone else touch his face #especially like that from behind! and first thing in the morning? anyone else would find themselves without a hand. #i call my angel all these lovely pet names and in return he lowers all his walls and i love him 🥰🥰🥰 #(mihawk on the side is feeling extremely exposed lol) #(but also fond 🥰 he loves him back so much too!!!)

[weaselmcdiesel]

Do You Love The Color Of The 413?

#HOMESTUCK #413 #HOMESTUCK 413 #john egbert #dave strider #rose lalonde #jade harley #vriska #kanaya #terezi #karkat #HAPPY 413 YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!! #THIS TOOK ME 4 DAYS PLEASE LOVE IT #AHHHHHHH IVE NEVER MADE ANYTHING THIS BIG BEFORE #IT'S NOT AS FINISHED AS ID LIKE- LIKE I USED A LOT OF JUST MULTIPLICITY LAYERS FOR SHADING BUT #I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME LMAO #ALSO IM PRETTY SURE TUMBLR WILL EAT THE QUALITY SO PLEASE CLICK TO ZOOM LOL #ART #MY ART #heavens. i dont know if i should tag all the characters? #ill only tag the bigger characters i guess #since so many are in there #it's supposed to be transparent and not black #but apparently tumblr will turn transparency white if the photo is too large #fucking great