#i dont mean this in a negative way its just strange to think about

[the-s1lly-corner]

WOoOoOoO SPOOKY SEASON REQUIRES SPOOKY STUFF

Anyways

I would love to request an Child ghost!reader and the gang, basically child reader got murdered when they were using the VR and their soul got stuck into the game.

Their soul being so GORY AND DISTORTED, like an arm is missing, one eye is like hanging out and their head has an hole. Reader can get invisible like a ghost and move things with only their mind, and they are very quiet and just observes, rarely get mad or anything, but when they snap (for example: Because of jax's pranks) they start throwing things around dim the lights and scream, and lets put like, Reader's screams are like LOUD as hell, basically like an ghost tantrum.

So basically Child reader is just an sad messed up lil goof who needs comfort and therapy.

Sorry if its long, i love love love your blog btw!

-🌹

TADC cast x ghost!child!reader (platonic + light found family) !

going to take a different approach to writing this one, since i feel bad about being selective of cast/multi characters today, so! rather than having divided segments like usual, its going to be a group thing! hope thats alright! going to be the last request of this batch them imma make something to eat rq for dinner then get back to writing YAHOO!

when you joined the digital circus, you were already very obviously different from the rest of the gang. even if your gore was toned down thanks to your body being digitized; the programming seemed to struggle with altering your body into something unique... strange... it also seems your body is fighting back against the programming of the world, seemingly trying to restore itself. The effect makes you almost look like you're glitching, or even abstracting

Caine doesnt immediately pick up on your presence, i feel like its in his programming to be aware when a new member joins the circus, but for some reason he didnt notice you until he saw you, or someone brings you up to him

It was Ragatha, who was trying to get answers from him. Who's kid was this? Is it really fair to let a kid be stuck here? Obviously she knew Caine couldnt do anything about it now that you were here, nor did he have any hand in you putting on the headset.

Except... you correct them and say you didn't put on any headset, you were trapped in it.

Of course you're trapped, just like the rest of us, Jax says

None of them immediately believe you try to tell them you're a ghost. Except of course, Kinger, who reasons that that's why you look the way you do; and Gangle, who in my opinion probably finds interest in the supernatural.. or maybe that's just me projecting onto her. Who knows. But the point still stands, almost everyone doesn't believe you.

Not long after, Jax accidentally ropes you into prank that was originally intended for Zooble, I dont think Jax would go as far as to bully a child.... well... actually no, he seems like the type to bully kids on roblox.

The prank wasnt planned for you, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You open a door, and are immediately greeted with a fake snake lunging out at you. You scream, more so out of surprise and fear than anger. It does turn into anger when Jax laughs at you, still finding some kind of joy from the prank getting at least someone. Your scream rises, causing nearly everyone to cover their ears, the rest were not there in the room but would come rushing to see what the hell was going on

I think it would be that instance as well as a few other; namely ones where you became invisible and started removing one of Zooble's limbs after they (unintentionally) said something a little too mean to you. The idea of you being a ghost was further cemented when both Gangle and Ragatha watched you literally phase through a wall. But hey at least someone (Jax) starts laying off of you when it becomes clear you weren't lying

There's mixed feelings, a lot negative. I mean, you're just a kid and you're. Well, a ghost. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that something happened to you. Whether or not you remember the details of your death when you became a ghost, or after joining the digital world, is all up to you

Caine, as mentioned before in posts where the reader is a child, tries to be a father figure. He's not the best, since he's programmed to be a ring master, but he definitely tries his best. I like to think he tries to read you bedtime stories when the digital world simulates 'night'

Pomni, who I totally didn't forget, tries to overcome her fear of you and your ghostly powers, ultimately becoming sympathetic you and your situation. Not only was your life cut short, but you were trapped here too, you didn't even get to roam the world in the afterlife. Interactions with her are awkward but there's an effort to try to bring you some form of comfort

Jax, after he stops pulling jokes on you cant deny that he doesnt find you creepy. I think, though, he would ask you if you want to help him scare some of the other members. Whether you be offended by the concept or not is also up to you, since I'm not sure if you wanted the reader to be sensitive regarding their current predicament or not

Ragatha goes into full big sister mode, even before it's confirmed that you're a ghost. Sure, she's a little put off by your ganky and gorey looks, but her heart aches for you. Similar to Caine she tries to do general child care activities with you, perhaps if you let her, she would do your hair and make you dresses

Kinger will take a while to warm up to you, but I think after some time would start to open up to you, usually it's best to interact with him when he's already in a calmer state. He already gives me dad vibes that I cant pin down... but he would tell you stories of his past (in house) adventures and some funny stuff that has happened over his time in the digital world

Zooble is going to need a moment to get over the invisible dismemberment thing... as well as Zooble being Zooble and needing some time to warm up to people in general... Not much to be said, yet...

Gangle would offer to lend you some art supplies... kids like arts and crafts stuff, right? Thats her logic, at least, and if it means you have an outlet for your emotions then that would be great!

Overall you now have a funky found family, so hey, at least things aren't totally... terrible.. Unfortunately with them stuck in the digital world they can't do much to get you justice, if you let them know you were murdered. But rest assured if your killer somehow gets trapped in there with them and you recognize them, they have your back

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

[cy-cyborg]

I am SO close to finishing Baldur's Gate 3... I think, I've been saying that for the past 20 hours lol, but I really want to gush about Karlach! Once I've actually finished the game I'll probably make a proper post talking about her in a more structured way from a disability standpoint but I just really want to talk about her now lol.

[ID: A gif of Karlach from Baldur's Gate 3, a tall woman with red skin, one black horn, black hair and glowing orange eyes. She is covered in scars and tattoos, her chest glows and she is dancing on the spot in front of a cluttered tent./end ID]

I did not know how much my inner child needed to see someone like her on screen. Strange thing to say about a character from a game that's intro features worms crawling into your eye in hell but its true.

I have massive burn-like scars all over my my lower body, especially my legs, and while I always (mostly) saw the amputations they came with as just a part of me, I had much more negative feelings about those scars, well into my young adulthood, but especially as a teenager. It wasn't helped by the fact that while most folks had the decency to keep their comments about my visible disability... neutral-ish, the comments about my scars ranged from "you should cover those up" to "that's discusting" and young children literally crying at the sight of them. On top of that, every time a character with scars like mine was in the media, they were either the villain, used to teach others a lesson about not being mean or to teach that chatacter a lesson about how beauty is on the inside or how to love their appearance despite thier scars (that they'll be sure to tell you they think are hideous).

But karlach isn't any of those things. She's confident and literally walks around armour that show her scars by default. No one calls her gross or tells her to cover them. Her scars are never brought up as a negative at all, at least that ive seen, they're never something that detracts from her appearance. She never tries to hide them or gets insecure about them. When you romance her, there's no comment about if you're sure you can find "someone with scars like hers" attractive. Characters in the game dont find her attractive in spite of them, they just find her attractive. Full stop. They're just, there. And what's more, the fandom, for the most part, seems to agree. I have seen so many people swooning over her, and they almost never bring the scars up. People don't care, they just think she's hot! (There will always be outliers of course but they seem few and far between in my circles at least lol).

And my God, it's SO refreshing! Don't get me wrong, it's not inherently bad to have chatacters be insecure about things like scars (Wyll has a few moments of insecurity around his, and I think it's done well) but it's so nice for it to not be the central focus for once, or even really a big at all. Especially for a woman character.

I was so convinced as a teenager that no one would find me attractive because of those scars. Scars like Karlach's. I'm older now, I have worked through it all, and any lingering insecurities I had on the subject were shut down when me and my partner got together. But 15/16 year old me desperately needed to see a chatacter like Karlach, and im so happy she exists now!

#disability #disabled #scars #visible disability #scarring #bg3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 companions #karlach #bg3 karlach #id in alt text #id included #gif

[actuallymarzzz]

My theory on the orange side: HE'S NOT LOGAN'S OPPOSITE?

WOW PLOT TWIST I KNOW

so basically I was watching through sanders sides the other day (as you do) and I was making a couple of theories on the orange side, yk average TSS enjoyer activities, WHEN SUDDENLY I WAS STRUCK WITH SOMETHING GLORIOUS

THE SVS REDUX

This is the first hints we see about the orange side (see from the cover screen showing a 7th side and the famous 01134 on the street fighter game sequence) BUT HAVE WE EVER STOPPED TO CONSIDER WHAT ELSE IS IN THIS EPISODE?

At 40:06 of the SVS redux, there is a MUSIC CHANGE (to a track that in my personal opinion sound WAY too funky to be "just for instrumental") and furthermore, Roman says at 40:12, "how long must we act selfishly until Thomas is ready to start putting more... good into the world?". Janus then responds, "A good question, for another time."

Now one might take that as Janus avoiding the question, but I think its strange that it is ONLY IN THIS PART OF THE VIDEO THAT THIS MUSIC PLAYS, when they are talking about being TOO selfish, to the embodiment of LIES. So what does it mean? I believe it symbolises Thomas lying to himself about the existence of the orange side.

SO THE QUESTION YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR THE ANSWER TO - WHO THE FRICKLE FRACK IS THE ORANGE SIDE? In my opinion, I believe it is Narcisissm. Or at least, that's what Thomas VIEWS it to be.

LET ME EXPLAIN-

The first time orange appears in the series is in the episode about SELFISHNESS, and how it shouldn't be mistaken for self care. This is extremely similar to how society treats self-love as a narcisisstic, hence why Thomas would believe this is what the orange side represents.

Now let's look at my favourite thing: COLOURS. WHAT DO THEY MEAN? • Red - This colour mainly represents Passion and Courage (like Roman, the passion is for creativity and the courage is the whole "ill always be your hero" thing) • Yellow - Many people respond to this colour in different ways, some find it cheery, others find it grating (Much like many people have different views on lying and Deceit) • Green - it is sometimes associated with sickness, and too much of it can evoke isolation (much like how intrusive thoughts make people feel sick and that they are alone with these thoughts) • Blue - light shades of blue often represent confidence, peace, honesty and reliability (literally aligning with Patton's existence in a whole) • Indigo - This colour can be seen as knowledgeable, representing integrity and intuition (Do I even have to say anymore, it literally is knowledge, aka Logan) • Purple - Shades of this colour have been used in the care of mental of nervous disorders (Maybe this is why Virgil started wearing purple, to symbolise thomas's better management of his anxiety?)

And now, what about orange? One of the negative connotations of this colour is self-indulgence, which is characterized by doing or tending to do exactly what one wants (much like BEING SELFISH). This would explain the appearance of the orange side in the SVS redux.

"But what about the colour wheel? WHAT IS ORANGE THE OPPOSITE OF?" Before I continue, I'm leaving virgil out of this because thats a whole other can of worms I DONT WANT TO DIVE INTO TODAY, BUT LEMME EXPLAIN

Red and Green are opposites, much like Remus and Roman. They represent both sides of Thomas' creativity - dark and light - so it makes sense.

Heres where things get tricky. LEAVING VIRGIL OUT OF THIS (bcus he's more of a... neutral side I guess? I feel like he doesn't really have a clear opposite anyways) The colour closest to this is actually yellow. This kinda makes sense, as Logan is based on truths while Janus is based on lies.

SO THAT LEAVES PATTON, THE EMBODIMENT OF MORALITY AND SELFLESSNESS. AND THE ORANGE SIDE, WHO I'VE JUST THEORISED TO BE A FIGURE REPRESENTING NARCISISSM AND SELFISHNESS, much like the entire plot of the svs redux.

You might be thinking, "BUT WORKING THROUGH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS !!! LOGAN WAS ORANGE !!! HOW DOES THAT WORK????" That's because Logan had a selfish goal behind Thomas's schedule, which was being listened to for once. Many people who have narcisisstic tendancies tend to crave attention, much like logan. This part where the "orange side took over" wasn't the orange side himself, it was a representation of Logan's need to be listened to.

Am I saying Thomas Sanders is a narcisisst? No, not in the slightest. Earlier I said that this is how Thomas percieves the orange side, because they're HIS SIDES. He views his self love and desire to be listened to as narcisissm because that's what he's been brought up to believe. It can even be reflected through Patton's behaviour in the SVS redux.

Again, this is JUST A THEORY. I'm not saying any of this is fact. Also special note for these guys:

Colour theory experts (I can't art so my colour wheel analogy is probably so off

People who have NPD/actually know more about it (I want to clarify that this is how I think Thomas PERCIEVES the orange side, not what it is. I'm not diagnosing)

Virgil lovers (HE DOESNT MAKE SENSE IM SO SORRY)

PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE SERIES BETTER THAN ME (Yes I know that the line seperating "opposite sides" is a little blurry)

Thank you and goodnight (you should totally repost this)

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides theory #logan is really hot #logan sanders hmu #prinxiety #intrulogical

[kani-miso]

mini analysis on route 1 ch 3

@hectorthedoggo

alot of words = alot of lore drop

tw : child neglect, child abuse, murder

THIS IS SO GOOD AND AMAZING OMG MY GOODNESS 5K??? ILYSM/P

pst, as per usual

red colored words= important but not about the keyring/jackalope

bolded words=keyring/jackalope information

italic words= reusing from fic

p_1

'Her defensiveness reminded them of Jackalope, when he- wait, what did he do again? He did something bad, but…'

They stopped their thoughts before they could think something they shouldn't think.

(i think jackalope is narcissistic, here's why: narcissistic people tend to be defensive of their own opinion caused by their sense of superiority.) alright, what the hell did he do. es' sense of morality is black and white if its someone close to them (jackalope). if so, then that means jackalope did something pretty bad for es to think of that.

'They stopped their thoughts before they could think something they shouldn't think.' something makes me concerned by the way es just disregarded that memory. they're trying to make a pure and clear image for jackalope due to their closeness. victims of abuse by family members/guardians usually stay silent about their situation fearing they were responsible for the abuse they endured or that speaking up can cause physical harm to their abuser (which some victims dont want to happen).

p_2

“Humans are bad influences, of course. I shouldn’t be here right now.” Es repeated the previous thought that wasn't quite theirs.'

“Humans are bad influences, of course. I shouldn’t be here right now.” they are always teached by jackalope that they shouldn't, no, mustn't interact with any other being that is not jackalope (especially humans), why though? im guessing its a. because jackalope does not want es to find a new guardian to latch on. b. jackalope has a poor relationship with humans (john/mikoto's attack at the tower) or c. some sort of traumatic event that happened to them due to abusive human behavior which causes jackalope to become more defensive and cautious about es' safety (< previously abused theory), but with the way you write jackalope, it's very unlikely to be c., it'll probably be b. imo.

''Es repeated the previous thought that wasn't quite theirs.' aha, there it is. es' thoughts are based off of jackalopes ideals as they do not have free will. this could possibly affect the growth of their mindset and brain with irreversible changes.

p_3

'Everything about that statement was strange. Form their own opinions? That would only lead to disaster, didn’t he know that?

They didn’t remember why that was true, they just… knew.'

'Form their own opinions? That would only lead to disaster' oh!/neg. more proof of them not having any free will. from this sentence, it sounded like they have done a mistake of forming their own opinion which caused something horrible to happen. es is an obedient child so one time punishments could change their whole perception on said subject. no wonder they always follow jackalopes ideals and opinions even if they have no idea if its right or not.

'They didn’t remember why that was true, they just… knew.'' uh huh. for me, it has some parallels with the previous chapters (e.g : ch 2 'Es never really questioned the origin of the keyring, just knew that they should always have it, no matter what.'). when a naive child is told something crucial, it WILL be implanted in their mind.

p_4

'He had been nothing but nice to them, probably just because he was in a good mood right now. But what if they induced a bad mood? Es didn’t know what his bad mood would look like, but-'

'He had been nothing but nice to them-', more parallels?? (route 2 ch 3 These people had been nothing but nice to them, and this is what they traitorously thought.) i know its from a different route, but it still feels so similiar.

'-probably just because he was in a good mood right now.' ouch, the eggshell parenting is parenting/negnegneg. how much more toxic could es' relationship with jackalope??? first, he's a neglectful guardian. second, he is an eggshell parent. third, he socially isolates them. (they cling to him, like he's their savior, yet they're scared of him, like he's a monster.)

'But what if they induced a bad mood? Es didn’t know what his bad mood would look like, but-' omg, the survival instinct is instincting. when children are in unsafe enviroments, they tend to recognize the daily patterns of their predator/abuser, such as: their footsteps (if there are multiple predators), sleep schedule, and their emotions based off of physical appearance. since es only knew shidou for like, less then 2 days, they cant read what his emotions are since they're yet to recognize his patterns.

p_5

It was more of a question. The color was all over their overly formal clothes, so maybe? They preferred the slightly different shade that made up the tie around their waist.

'Hm… Jackalope didn’t give that to them, did he? It didn’t exactly match their uniform, and it was a little off-color. Who gave-

One of the keys around their neck warmed up in recognition of the thought.

They decided that it was time to stop thinking about that topic. They didn’t want to remember it.'

'Hm… Jackalope didn’t give that to them, did he? It didn’t exactly match their uniform, and it was a little off-color. Who gave-' what.. i think i have a theory for this. lets start with

'who gave this to them?' : i suspect it might be from their past abusers

'what's the purpose of it?' : the tie on their waist is tied into a knot. many cultures including japan use knots to symbolize unity. es and their past abuser will always be tied into a knot together because no matter where they go, the abuse stays. it either continues from another person, or the previous scars of abuse never heal (both physically and mentally)

'the tie has 2 ends, what's the meaning?' : the number 2 usually symbolize the duality of two subjects, the ones that are important to note are : yes/no, true/false, and yin/yang. yes/no, true/false are self explanatory, yin/yang on the other hand. 'yin' represents coldness and darkness (< es' uniform overall colorscheme is cold representing yin, mind you this is give by jackalope). and 'yang' represents light and warmth (< es' tie on their waist is a warm color, this is given by their past abusers). i wonder if this is implying that es still cares and resonate warmth from their past abusers and feels coldness and a sense of darkness when getting taken care of by jackalope..(no wonder pain is nostalgic for them) also, in japan, 二 (ni). It represents creation, time (past, present, and future)

'why does the end of their tie look like a teru teru bozu?' : a teru teru bozu is a traditional japanese talisman used to bring good weathers and to stop or prevent rainy days. rain is essential when growing crops, so it symbolizes the growth of a new family (found family and biological). the fact that they are using a teru teru bozu that prevents rain implies that they are being held back in finding a "new family" :(.

'One of the keys around their neck warmed up in recognition of the thought.' woah okay were getting there.. usually the keyring gets warmer because of the mention of jackalope, mind you, the WHOLE keyring. then, when a past abuser is mentioned only one of their keys get warmer. jackalope can be taken as the embodiment of all of the abusers, down to the manipulation, neglect, physical abuse (?), emotional abuse, and domestic abuse.

'They decided that it was time to stop thinking about that topic. They didn’t want to remember it.' this has become the fugue es™ movement omg. i dont remember how many times they did this but its definitely more than 3 times.

p_6

'Their feelings were taken into account; that was new. Es took a second to consider the choice

He patiently waited for them to make a choice, which was another foreign action.'

'Their feelings were taken into account; that was new.' 'He patiently waited for them to make a choice, which was another foreign action.' ARE YOU KIDDING ME IM GONNA CRY IN THE CORNER. more of the 'victim falls to good hands and is confused' type of thing. i guess this implies that jackalope is also very impatient, this idea clashes with the canon autistic es here. people with autism needs others to be patient due to their different mind set and thinking pattern with neurotypicals. its really bad if you force a person with autism to be quicker because that could overstimulate them. (again, im not good with these topics so correct me if anything bothers you)

p_7

'This line of thought was getting dangerous, but Es lingered on it for a bit before trying to shut it down. Jackalope wouldn’t like them thinking like this.

However, their traitorous emotions still supplied a craving for a different life. Some teens about their age passed by, laughing with some ice cream, something Es never remembered tasting.

Would they have been with those teens, in another-

Get back to the tower. Get back to the tower. Get back to the tower. Get back-

A sharp pain shot through their head, and they let out a little whine. Of course this would happen, they thought too much, after all.'

'Jackalope wouldn’t like them thinking like this.' everytime they think of something, they will always prioritize jackalopes feeling first.. even if its something they want, something they crave, something they NEED.

'Would they have been with those teens, in another-' no, no they wouldn't. if they were never taken by jackalope, they'll never escape from the hell hole of abuse (if the theory's true). when they were taken by jackalope, they have no other choice but stay in the tower for eternity. both choices are a lose lose.

'Get back to the tower. Get back to the tower. Get back to the tower. Get back-' the more i read it, the more it doesnt feel like es' thoughts. especially from the previous chapters and other routes, everytime it (e.g. they should always have it, no matter what. 'But, they decided to think about it, idiotically, so their head started throbbing. They let out a little pained yelp.')' they should always have it, no matter what,' that sounds like jackalopes orders, same thing with 'get back to the tower'.

A sharp pain shot through their head, and they let out a little whine. Of course this would happen, they thought too much, after all.' also, im kinda doubting that the reason they feel the sharp pain is because of overthinking, it feels like jackalope is controlling their mind during those moments and when he's done possessing them, they'll feel pain.

p_8

'They didn’t deserve to be forgiven like this. They were having bad thoughts, thoughts that Jackalope wouldn’t like, so Shidou should hate them, too. He assessed their pathetic state, then reassured in a calming voice. “It’s alright.”

How come his expression showed no hints of anger? His voice was nothing but gentle, no annoyance hidden by his concern.

p_9

Guilt clogged up their throat. So, he must not have noticed their bad thoughts. That was the only justification for why he wasn’t mad.'

'They didn’t deserve to be forgiven like this.' oh, abuse victims usually feel a sense of burdening others and feeling guilty about it (omg forgiven and guilty milgram reff/j)

'thoughts that Jackalope wouldn’t like, so Shidou should hate them, too.' due to jackalope being the only living being es knew from the very start of their life (from waking up of the coma-ish state) they thought all adults would act the same just like jackalope. also, just because they had bad thoughts jackalope hated them? wow im gonna burn him 🌹

'How come his expression showed no hints of anger?' dont tell me jackalope also gives them the sarcastic smile treatment. even below his smile, they can feel the anger in him (because of the emotion pattern recognition)

'So, he must not have noticed their bad thoughts. That was the only justification for why he wasn’t mad.' the fact that they only think he didnt get mad was because he didn't feel their aura makes me sick. maybe they've gotten away with their bad thoughts once for them to think this is the only justifiable reason (or not)

'How did he know they were scared that he was mad at them?'

istg shidou is a mind reader you cant convince me otherwise or maybe its just because of es' obvious vulnerable state that makes them look like a pathetic scared child (just like the past)

p_10

'Jackalope usually didn’t cook his meat that much but did cook it some so that it was edible. Es preferred it cooked.

IM SORRY DOES JACKALOPE SOMETIME FEED THEM RAW MEAT??? i swear the neglect gets crazier from chapter to chapter. '-but did cook it some so that it was edible.' key word: some. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SOME?? he is giving them the bare minimum, the only one essential for living.

p_11

She growled, “I’m sorry, I guess. You showed clear signs of neglect, I had to get you away from that place! But here-”

“There’s no way I’m going back to your cave! I’m staying with these people!”

“These people are dangerous!”

“How? Is it some sort of wild assumption that you made?”

She took a breath, and with a face and voice full of hatred, she said,

“Of course they’re dangerous.

They’re murderers, Es.”'

thank you for reading this, have a reward

WHAT

'You showed clear signs of neglect, I had to get you away from that place!' she was the only one who knew.. im crying

“Of course they’re dangerous. They’re murderers, Es.”' omg ARE YOU KIDDING ME THEY WILL NEVER TRUST A SINGLE HUMAN BEING EVER AGAIN, NOT EVEN KOTOKO.

me(es) when reading this chapter

(did not proof read lol)

#milgram #milgram project #milgram es #es milgram #fugue au #alternate universe #au #analysis #fugue au analysis #fugue es #fugue jackalope #tw: child neglect #tw: child abuse #tw: murder

[transfemlogan]

Texting Headcanons

Patton: using emojis 24/7. Literally every text will have some sort of emoji, even if it doesn't fit the original message. Texts like a dad & a mom combined. Uses grammar occassionally. Usually types in all caps, because he doesn't know how to turn them off. Sends the laughing emoji when he laughs at something. Prefers talking in person if he can.

"HEY, KIDDOS 👋 YOUR HAPPY-PAPPY PATTON LOVES YA ALL! 🥰💙😻"

Roman: uses emojis occassionally. Types in caps when he's excited. Uses capital letters when necessary and never any time else. Shorten words and uses popular acronyms. Says "ROLF" and "LMAO" when he laughs at texts. Uses the sparkle emoji constantly. Loves to facetime. Double texts like CRAZY

"Helloooo~ ✨️✨️ romans here!! A REMINDER for all of u 2 tell me what u thought of the script ASAP bcus thomas NEEEDDS it by tmrw!!!!"

Virgil: shorten every word ever even if its not readable. Types in all lower case with 0 grammar. Sends 💀 or "lol" when he inhales through his nose at something. Keysmashes when he finds something really funny. Prefers to text above all else & will cry if you try to call him. Spelling mistakes all over the place. Hard 2 tell if something is supoosed to be an acronym or if its a mistake?

"im not rding ur stpjd script roman also twll thomas not 2g2 that dumb party on sat or i swear 2 god ill bloqk all of u ok bye also hi pat"

Logan: proper grammar all of the time. Probably ends his messages with "sincerely, logan" (he knows theyre not letters or emails, but he can't help himself.) Says "that was funny" when he finds something funny (very rare). Prefers in person communication or calling, as he is usually busy working and can't text if he's using his hands. Doesn't use emojis ever & finds them so so stupid but will SOMETIMES use the heart emoji if he's comforting virgil or trying to be nice. Learns about tone indicators after virgil tells him & now he uses them all the time. Will start to let loose if he's comfortable around you. Looking at his msgs with virgil is almost like an entirely different person.

"Hello, all. I have read your script, Roman, and will be sending you my edits soon. I find it to be very long and wordy and full of mistakes. /neg You are lucky you have me to help you. Also, Virge, I'll try to get Thomas to not go to that party /srs, as he has many responsibilities that day, such as: cleaning his room, recording, and doing his laundry. Here is a link to my plan for next week. Please let me know if there's any complaints. Sincerely, Logan."

(Virgil: thnk u L . m not reading ur plsn ethr

Logan: Hi Virgil. That is alright. I'll just let you know next time we "hang out". Sincerely Logan.)

Janus: also texts all lower case & never uses commas but does use periods. Loves to use ":)" and "<3" (<- in a mean sarcastic way most of the time). Doesn't express laughter anytime anywhere. Prefers facetime or in person communication. Doesn't text often. Also doesn't respond often. Will leave you on read, he has other things to do. Uses tone indicators only if he is personally texting logan and no one else. Will sometimes not even respond to what you said in the first place.

"oh of course logan let's have thomas work all the time and never ever get any rest. sounds very healthy :). roman i read your script. hi patton".

(Roman: aand jan? What did u think??

Janus: Read 2:43 pm)

Remus: sends nudes in chat. And the most random gore vids he can find. Types in all caps willingly. Sends very strange emojis that dont match up with anything. Responds lightning quick but also ignores everything you say in order 2 send what he wants 2 talk abt so it doesnt even matter. Homestuck speak. Has never read homestuck.

"H3Y0 🦿🍒🛝😝 CHECK OUT TH12 PHOTO I JUST T00K RN. (Sends a dick pic)"

(Patton: 😨 REMUS, PLEASE DELETE. ❌️

Roman: THIS IS WHY WE NVR LET U IN GROUP CHATS !!!! I WISH I COULD WASH MY EYES OUT. 🤮

- Virgil has left the group chat -

Logan: Hello, Remus. That does not look very healthy. We should send you to a physician to get that checked out. Sincerely, Logan.

Janus: read 2:48 pm)

#revy.txt #sillies! #fam ily

[manonamora-if]

i dont know if u feel up for it to answer but like... how do u handle negative comments and ratings and just people being negative about ur stuff? bc i have someone just being rude in comments or like notes and game folders on itch and its making me want to just delete everything and never show anyone anything anymore. or even have an acocunt on itch either.

Hi Anon,

I'm sorry you've been dealing with this, and that it took me so long to answer. I've been thinking about this for a while honestly. I've been writing a bunch of drafts for this one, because my answer seems to change with the day or my mood. Some of my stuff have had some strange interactions lately that's made me question whether I should stay on itch myself. I mean, I don't think I'll ever leave... there are too many fun jams I want to participate and, you know, to force people to play my weird stuff. But I've been more anxious about new stuff or updates I share recently.

I don't blame you for wanting an out. Some users will poison one's experience of a platform, that even opening the site would give them anxiety. It doesn't take much to have events or projects soured. Often, just a few rude words is enough to make accounts disappear without a word. And many platform don't have good safety nets (blocking, moderation, reports) to temper or avoid these situations. Many will have half-ass solutions that, at the end of the day, still allows interactions from blocked users. It's easy to wonder if all of this is worth it...

Anyway, the very boring and short answer to your question: it depends.

The probably as boring and long one is a bit of a ramble:

It depends on the day, or the mood I have. It's easier to deal with comments when I'm confident and things are going find; but I'd feel more hurt or have a harder time dealing with them when I'm a bit more morose (I think most people feel this way). I'll disregard any (even barely) negative points some days, only to take it into consideration a few days later. <- this especially during jam/comps time, just need time to digest criticism of any kind.

It also depends on the content of the comment, their tone, and intent of the commenter. Not all negative comments are on the same level. I've had negative comments in the past where the commenter was genuine, and really gave my stuff a shot, bringing interesting points or important concerns. And though it hurt a bit, because being told you made a mistake sucks, those helped me grow. But those are the good kinds of comments...

On the other hand, I try to disregard the trolls, and the abusive comments (towards my work or me), the ones where the engagement was clearly not done in good faith... you know, the ones who will literally tell me I've made the world worse by uploading my games on itch. Doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me at all*. Some of them really hurt or made me angry and frustrated, some have lingered for hours or days in my mind, a few made me close to delete stuff as well. Words are not just empty things without meaning... *I've had to block a few people both here and other places recently because of it, they had become so insistent on wanting to engage with me while bashing most of my work, my values or the few aspects of my identity that I've shared online.

It would be easy to say I just don't give them the time of day or any of my energy, or that I pretend they don't exist, because, if I do, then the trolls win. But that would be lying. Obviously.

Screaming to the void/a pillow or ranting to friends have helped get rid of my anger and frustration. I've laughed with others about some comments I got (usually the bad faith ones, some of them are funny in how sad/bad they were). I think what worked best for me was just turn off the computer and go outside for a bit. Or turned off the internet and play silly games on my phone. Or picked up a book. Or watch a movie. Essentially, any activity that would distract me from it and force me to take a break. And when none of this worked, because some trolls are just that insistent, blocking/deleting stuff*. *unfortunately, it's not always possible, see second paragraph again.

It does suck that you're kinda forced to grow a thicker skin to enjoy or even exist in those spaces, and I wish those would be friendlier... but I don't think social platforms/the internet is going in that direction anytime soon.

Maybe not super helpful to your decision, but borogove.io hosts IF games (without ratings or comments, though people can download the files), so does the IFDB through the IFArchive (but there are ratings/reviews there, also can be downloadable). I've seen other peeps host their stuff on neocities (no ratings/comments). None of those platforms are like itch, in the positives or the negative. Or just be old school, and email stuff.

#ask box #gosh I wish I had more concrete stuff to help #or a more positive mindset on things #but yea #I hope things get better for you anon #and that you find what's best for you! #lots of rambles #sorry

[youremyheaven]

I found your blog when I was reaserching sufism since I’m leaning into it and the first thing I saw was your post about fated love which is so crazy because I’m pretty sure I’m on a “twin flame” journey!

Last year I saw a guy I met 7 years ago and that I hated at the time and I got triggered beyond measurement (I minimized it to the fact that I was jealous of his accomplishments) and my life has flipped upside down since then. I’ve healed so much of my trauma & went though a complete ego death and went out to find my callings.

The only thing is that he has been on my mind for a whole year in a fundamental way and I’ve even had crazy lucid dreams about him and i just feel so pathetic at times for spending so much thoughts on a stranger.

When i first prayed to god for answers is when I had my first dream of him the same night as some sort of answer but I’m still confused.

Sorry if this information overload but if you have my more knowledge and advice on the subject I would appreciate so much ❤️

finally a different kind of ask <3

i have been on a twin flame journey for several years now and this is probably going to be a controversial take because i havent heard anybody else express this sort of opinion in the twin flame community (99% of people in that community are absolutely delusional so i refrain from taking part in that sort of thing) i honestly think uniting on the physical plane is probably impossible for many twin flames and i also dont think theyre meant to?

a lot of people confused limerence with twin flame-ness. idk who needs to hear this but the random married person you're obsessed with isnt your twin flame.

in 2022 i met someone who i felt strangely pulled to. he reacted to seeing me like he was struck by lightning and i felt repulsed by him. in 2023, it became this cat and mouse, back and forth kind of thing where it seemed to build into mutual obsession but after interacting with him, i was completely put off by him and felt even disgusted by him but at the same time, i have changed so profoundly as a person from that first encounter and the second encounter that i really cant make sense of it. he instils a sense of desire in me and makes me want to change things and be better for myself yk? he's like the silent voice in my head ngl, everytime i think of doing anything, i have him in mind as my imaginary audience lol. its not in terms of whether or not he would approve but rather in terms of his presence?? feels comforting?? so its nice to have his energy in mind whenever im confronted by something new??

the trauma confrontation, ego death, finding your calling etc are all part of the journey

if you feel yourself slipping into obsessive thoughts, try to focus on prayer, or work or your hobbies because its unhealthy to dwell on such thoughts too much but some minuscule amount of feelings for that person (feelings that are very confusing because it cannot be easily defined) will always linger. i wish them well and hope for the best but right now all i can do is focus on what their energy is doing to me aka undoing my life and making me level up lol and each phase of this journey is unique like that.

in my case, i dont expect to ever unite with him physically. i just dont think its possible tbh but i have a very strong feeling that i will run into him again in a few years and that its part of the journey idk

my advice would be to focus on yourself and not on him but by focusing on yourself, you are healing yourself of what is keeping you in a state where you react negatively to them, ykwim?? dont expect to be with that person, the purpose of a twin flame is to teach you things and help your soul ascend to the next level. union cannot be orchestrated and sometimes god knows best that union is not meant to be in this lifetime. but that does not mean this experience isnt valuable. the experience is what it makes of you. and its vvv easyyy to romanticize a person you dont know very well, just trust that its for the best that youre not with them tbh

#twin flame #sufism

[kozykricket]

Brewing and Food Thoughts (#1 - Potions)

ah, finally, something to motivate me to write - procrastinating writing something for school!

So, here we are! Brewing is in a weird spot in minecraft right now, yeah? We can all agree there. its not in a terrible spot like enchanting, but its not in a good spot either. most potions are irrelevant. I'm not necessarily going to spend a lot of time on what makes good potion effects, but i AM going to talk about how i would change the mechanics to -Promote using potions -Include creativity in the ideally WHIMSICAL and EXPERIMENT-BASED brewing process -change the brewing process to just, be more balanced and coherent lets first talk about potion effects and consumables a bit though. So well, i think people use potions more if the game nudges them to. Razbuten made a good video on why he doesn't use consumables in games, and I think its a good video. I think you can apply that to potions, because the only ones people really use often are slow falling for the dragon, fire resistance for fortresses/the nether in general, and water breathing for ocean activities. the game nudges you to use them because... its definitely a disadvantage if you arent using a potion here, rather than merely an advantage to be using one. So I think thats something the games balance could have some more design around. Have certain moments where the player thinks "ah, i should definitely use a potion here!" although... then they have to go through the mildly tedious process of using potions, which... yeah, theres a lot of friction to actually using potions. I say make the benefit feel substantial and worth it, or make potions easier to manage But honestly, I want to spend more time talking about the basis for a whimsical, experiment-based brewing rework everyone and their mother has thought about potions and cauldrons - they're very connected in every other piece of media and such. Yet unless you're in bedrock, they dont have any relation. I think... the cauldron, or perhaps a cauldron with a slot for fuel under it, would be a perfect way to make a new sort of brewing stand. Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Lets talk fuel, first. They made brewing stands require blaze powder to brew potions at all, which was... odd, because it was an update later that they made brewing stands appear in the overworld... i dont think it was a great way to balance things. theres now like, 3 vibe checks to make sure you've been to a nether fortress specifically. blaze rods to craft one (unless you're lucky), blaze powder as fuel, and nether warts for almost every potion what if i want to make a splash water bottle though? what if i wanted to make some hypothetical weak... pre nether wart potions? Well, it just wouldnt be possible if we keep blaze powder as the fuel. or as the ONLY fuel. which is where i take some inspiration from the mod "Extra Alchemy" which lets you use campfires to fuel brewing stands slowly, and say... different sources of heat should be able to fuel cauldrons, and the hotter it is, the more consistent it would be, and perhaps it would even be a gate towards more powerful potions. Heat-based progression. soul fire could be somewhat of a sidegrade, even, making potions more potent but always adding a very potent negative effect, for example Anyways, to the actual brewing: Whats something you see in a lot of typical "witch brewing potions in her evil cauldron" tropes and such? Strange ingredients. Odd mushrooms, some frog legs, some strange dusts and oozes. I think applying that to potions... would be great. What I mean by that is ... imagine tinkers construct, but for potions. You add certain items into the cauldron, and they increase some stats for it. I mean, these stats could correlate to the effects that it comes out with. You could have so many different like, stats of a potion, like the max amount of effects it is able to obtain from the ingredients, the potency, the length, and whether the effects are negative or not. (1/2)

#minecraft ideas #jake ramblings

[helianthus-tarot]

Hey j, hope ur doing well! Im the anon who asked abt alt payements and no worries, was just wondering! I had previously been scammed and closed my paypal acct years ago and the trauma got me never wanting to use them again (it wasn't paypals fault btw, but the sellers fault, just wanted to clarify lol) Today i wanted to ask about 'blockages' or stuff like that. I've been trying to heal and improve my self opinion but whenever i try, i get a heavy feeling or nervous/ashamed, and i cant put my finger on why bc i dont have anything in particular to feel that way abt! I know its difficult bc you're an outsider perspective and i dont think i explained it well but if u have any insight, id love to hear it! Thanks <3

I mean, I can't really give specific advice or suggestion because you don't explain it in detail. But changing our beliefs about ourselves can make us feel weird at first, especially when we are changing negative beliefs into positive beliefs. It may feel like we are lying to ourselves, or that we don't deserve to believe or think positively about ourselves (hence the shame). It's normal. My guess is, it's just the brain not being used to something new, so discomfort happens.

Our strength as human beings is our ability to adapt. But our adaptability also means that we can adapt to toxic situations and find familiarity in them, we may even 'fuse' those negative things into our identity, thus changing those negative things can feel like changing who we are; it feels wrong, like it shouldn't happen. Anything familiar feels comforting to us, even when it affects us negatively, simply because we are used to it. Change is generally uncomfortable, even when it's good, because we aren't used to it.

If I understand your situation correctly here, that's probably what you are dealing with. Just keep going until what is new (the good habit) becomes familiar and what is familiar (the bad habit) becomes strange. It will happen if you keep at it, the brain will adapt.

#asks #other asks #other topics

[mysicklove-main]

Is there anything else you wanna rant about with “your new pack” ?

u just want me to make-out with u don't u 🙄 🙄🙄

but yes sure i can talk for hours, especially since im working on the next chpt currently. (might take bout a week to post tho considering im so busy)

for everyone else not reading this fic, I will post your requests and other stuff after i finish the next chapter!!!

to begin with, i dont know how the hell to make everyone have equal amount of time shown. I want everyone to like all characters, but i accidentally write way more for specific characters than others which is unfair i feel to my (very fictional characters who dont give a fuck) boys. for example, think bout how much we see Keigo compared to Izuku. Its just hard to do it with 5 different ppl so.

I want to rewrite all my beginning chapters bc I feel like i rushed it thinking it was going to be a short story. But here i am, 79k+ words in and the beginning i feel is so so so bad. like i can't even reread it bc i cringe. but i am also so lazy and rlly dont want to rewrite it lol so i just pretend it doesn't exist.

comments, mean way too much to me. Like all writers i love getting a notification that someone commented on my fic, but now its getting to the point where im like, "damn this chpt didn't get many comments, did i do something wrong?" so that's embarrassing and i def need to chill and be grateful for what i have. Im working on it.

Eijiro, Izuku, Shoto are so fucking hard to write and Katsuki and Keigo are so easy to write. Its so strange that im struggling with Izuku, bc he is my favorite, but im trying to show that he is a little fucked up from his past but I also dont want to write him as super quiet. Idk i feel like i kinda brushed off his trauma and i didn't mean to. so that sucks. with Eijiro his actions are easy, simply cause i wrote him as someone to be very touchy and affectionate off the bat. plus he talks alot so. but his internal thoughts are so fucking difficult to write. like what are you thinking bout?? you know she is your mate, but he is trying to get his best friend to get with you. it is so hard. Shoto is the complete opposite. I dont know how the hell he would react in different situations, bc he is more quiet out of the boys, but I want to also show that he is also trying his best too. his deranged thoughts are easy to do, but everything else is a wreck. i think he is the hardest to write for by far.

speaking of shoto his character is so inconsistent. idk if ppl notice, but i do. in the beginning his is more obsessive and has the most negative thoughts. he kinda crazy, u feel me? now, i dont write as much of his creepy perverted thoughts. i just kinda forget to. so now he feels kinda bland and i need to figure out how to bring back some excitement back to his character. maybe this chapter ill go back to the creepy, obsessive, thoughts. it was so fun to write. this all goes back to how hard shots is to write.

I switch perspectives alot and I hope ppl understand what's going on and who is thinking what. I think I have a mix of second person (obvi, with the "you") and 3rd person. bc i narrate others reactions to the situations, and kinda treat Y/N as a character in the story, not as your self. does that make sense??? idk.

since hybrid stories are my fav, i would like to write more, but in different scenarios. for example, another Y/N x Wolf! Katsuki fic, but this katsuki would be a diff one from the other wolf katsuki in Your New Pack. Like i did with the Bunny! Izuku Headcannons. That izuku is diff than Your New Pack one. but would ppl be bored of it?? ik i will never lol.

i wish i could post a poll on who ppl like the best on ao3, just bc im curious who has the most fanboys. (it would prob be keigo tho lol)

i got bored of katsuki wearing the muzzle in the house, so i just trashed it. def poor writing thing to do, but idc at this point, it would throw off my plans for chpts if he was always wearing the muzzle.

sorry i talk alot, but hey u asked for it.

#chit chats #your new pack #ao3

[ezradogteeth]

do u have any advice or reassurance for someone who identified as a binary trans man for a long time and then realized he’s genderfluid and is kind of panicking about whether to come out again about it or just privately be genderweird and is questioning whether to continue hormonal transition? :)

i think its super normal and even cool to have transitioned as a binary trans person and later realized you're more genderqueer/genderfluid/nonbinary/androgynous etc. i know other people who have done the same thing, and i relate as well, more with my physical transition than my identity but yeah :)

i'd say for both hrt and coming out, it depends on what would make you happiest of course! if you aren't uncomfortable with people seeing you as male and think it wouldnt be worth it to come out again bc you're already fine with your social/external gender, its totally chill to just know you're genderfluid and be genderfluid on your own, no pressure to come out. but if you think youd feel more comfortable and understood if people knew you're genderfluid and maybe changed what pronouns they use for you (obvs u dont have to change ur pronouns if u come out either) etc, coming out again could be a good option! the people who love u will be excited for you figuring out yourself more and be happy to support you, i know it can be weird to come out again, but theres absolutely nothing wrong with changing how you identify. and remember u dont have to Formally Come Out all at once, u can also just tell your close friends one at a time when u feel comfortable with it, take it slow and casual, thats how ive been approaching changing my pronouns and some complicated stuff w my name.

as for HRT, i struggled a Lot to decide if i wanted to keep taking it, for months i was unsure. firstly i made a list of all the effects T had on me, positive and negative, and wrote each thing i thought about into two columns on a piece of paper (staying on T vs going off T) which helped me sort out on a practical level what going off it would mean. but its really all about the vibes lol like its completely cool for u to continue T and still be genderfluid, you don't have to meet any standard for androgyny, if you like being on T thats sweet. if you want to be read as more androgynous or feel like going off T would be more congruent with your identity, thats also great. and remember you can always go back on it in the future if you want!

everything i said was really obvious but yeah. its awesome that u have learned more about yourself and accepted it as part of you. whatever you do from here is up to you, and any path you take is great. personally, i find it worth it to re-come our to my closest friends and be open about changes in my gender identity and presentation, it helps me a lot even tho its a hassle to deal with. but as for acquaintances and strangers idc about coming out since any way they read me is whatever

it has been strange for me going very far with my physical transition (3years on T and had top surgery), and then deciding to go off T and present more purposefully feminine/androgynously. i love it tho its fun to explore now that i can choose with ease to be a boy or a girl or neitherboth etc since my body is v androgynous/masculine. love to be a girl with masculine features and love to be a boy with feminine features too. teehee

good luck i hope whatever you do makes u happy!!!

#transition #gender

[rouge-the-bat]

I’m really sorry to bug you, but I’m hoping maybe you can explain something to me.

// tw for discussions of ableism + anti-otherkin language //

I was talking to a friend about fandom stuff and casually mentioned kinnies and they immediately went off on a rant about how kinning fictional characters is inherently ableist, worsens delusions and psychosis, is a “honeytrap” for emotionally vulnerable kids, etc. and that I should block/report anyone like that I come across.

I guess what I really want to know is, am I making my delusions worse by kinning a fictional character? is that a thing that kinning can do…?

ive... never heard the claim that kinning is ableist before...? thats very strange when like... mostly kinnies ive met are various forms of neurodivergent, so its always seemed to me as a thing not necessarily exlusively for, but is definitely Big for those who are mentally ill in some variety.

'worsens delusions and psychosis,' i cant really say much on as i dont experience/have those (as far as im aware). i can see how for some that might be the case, but i think its kind of an unfair claim to say that as a blanket statement for everyone who experiences those things... but again, i dont have a lot of knowledge about the relation between them and how they may affect each other, so others can feel free to chip in if they want

as for the honeytrap part.... idek what to say about that bc like. whats it even trapping these "emotionally vulnerable kids" into ?? theres a lot of people who cope through kinning, coping with fiction in general is literally a Good Known way of coping. obv for some it may not be the best form of coping for them, but that goes with any coping mechanisms. and aside from the coping aspect, a lot of people are simply just.. enjoying themselves? i have a blast from kinning, identifying as characters simply just feels Good and Right to me, and there hasnt been any sort of negative effects brought onto me from it. i really dont know what this person could be meaning

#starry asks #discourse #mentioning anyways #all of this feels so out of left field to me honestly

[primalspice]

strange old bpd man (i cant look away like a car wreck)👕 2, 18, 19 📦 7, 13, 17, 🍽️ 11, 14 🌤️ 7, 10, 🤝4, 7, 17, 💓 15, 20, 🎲 6, 13, 18

thank u

👕2.) What would your character wear if they were told they had to gussy up?

I think he owns nice clothes (SHOCKING I KNOW). for special occasions of course. I think he will also really try to stretch what counts as 'formal'. But he can do it I prommy.

👕18.) Does your character have a favorite outfit?

No but if he had to choose itd probably be the nastiest one in his closet on accounts of Its Comfortable

👕19.) If your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?

I think he has some but i havent decided what/where they are. Strikes me as the type of guy to get like. hyperspecific pinup girls or like a really detailed back tattoo that no one is ever gonna see. Probably.

📦7.) Does your character ever spend more than they have?

Honestly besides college degrees, specialized "lab supplies", and the occasional Treat i dont think hes…..awful with money?? claims to live frugally so he can spend his (non)money on stuff he really cares about, is actually just bordering on being a hoarder and has a lot of confidence in his ability to pay off credit cards that hasnt failed him yet. loves the minimum-monthly-due-in-a-week Grind.

📦13.) What does your character most enjoy shopping for?

Aforementioned lab supplies. LOVES shiny new equipment that hes only gonna use once.

📦17.) What is most important to your character when shopping?

I think when he Is willing to shop for something he has an eye for the Strange And Unique. As well as quality. Somewhat bougie taste for a guy who is so…slobbish. Guy who owns a set of vintage uranium glass kitchenware but only eats off of paper plates and thrift store forks.

🍽️11.) Is your character food motivated?

NOT PRIMARILY BUT I DO THINK HE'D BE PAVLOV-ABLE INTO DOIN SOME SHIT FOR TREATS.

🍽️14.) Does your character prefer restaurant food or home cooked food?

Probably restaurant due to his aforementioned taste in unique and bougie but i think hes probably decent a home cooking?? bpd be damned my dad can work a grill.

🌤️7.) Does your character have a good sense of direction?

I think its pretty average. he can figure things out for himself usually but will navigate you in the most fucked up way possible and look at you like Youre the idiot. Kinda unrelated but i think hes a passenger princess he doesnt (cant??) drive all that often. thank god. keep him off the road.

🌤️14.) Does your character prefer hot or cold weather?

Hot but he'll complain about it either way. He's pretty much only lived in hot places besides for travel.

🤝4.) Is your character upfront about their feelings?

smiles yeah i guess (negative)

🤝7.) Who is your character most honest with?

i guess his Partner In Science since theyre forced to hang out most of the time and shes his bpd wrangler but I think hes kinda got stuff that hes kinda dishonest-by-omission with w different people. but IN GENERAL he's not particularly dishonest he'll tell it how it is even if its fucking mean or annoying. He'll blame the bluntness on being german or something.

🤝17.) How well does your character work with others?

smiles Poorly. thus why he no longer works in a big lab or academia or a side hustle or

💓15.) Does your character have a sleep routine?

Not particularly i think he just sleeps whenever he wants due to being #selfemployed. prone to nightowlism

💓20.) Is there a fear your character wants to learn to overcome?

probably but tbh idk his fears v good yet i need to disect him like a rat. his fear of khs properly tho, probably, is one. not sure why this is a trend with my ocs (warren stop using suicidality as a plot device challenge)

🎲6.) Does your character work better with creative or technical endeavors?

i think more often than not they're intertwined in his line of work but i'd say hes better at ideas (creative) than execution (technical). not bad at either tho. terrible how good this looks on paper and hes still the worst person youve ever met.

🎲13.) Has your character ever made something for themselves or someone else?

kinda vague question but of course. i think he has dabbled in plant and animal breeding/modification in his past (still thinks about it) so if you count those as Things then itd be primarily that along with other misc. projects for himself. Less questionably, i think he's also probably a guy that gives you like. a custom macrame or bracelet or shirt or whatever other gay hobby hes picked up for the week for your birthday.

🎲18.) What is a topic your character wouldn't want to talk about?

pretty much anything that hes not interested in <3 but specifically i don't think he'd want to talk about his personal life if HE wasnt the one to bring it up first bcz hes defensive and shitty. This includes the ethics of any of his work, his sperm donor babies, his mental illness, so on and so forth.

#ask game #bruno

[desudog]

i always feel like i identify with the goat + water more than i identify with sagittarius... esp. because the characteristics of goat and water match well / say similar things.

I also get frustrated because it seems like every single website says a different thing about sagittarius traits, or saying conflicting things or the same thing literally every other star sign says. (ive been able to find "loves to travel or go outside" at least once for every single star sign...)

sadly i cant judge my blood type because i dont know it yet...

While i am selfless to a fault, i absolutely do not think of myself as someone who will "say anything regardless of if it is not diplomatic"... i have friends who can attest to the care i put into diplomacy and tense discussion. I choose my wording very carefully! i have a strong moral compass but i do not think it makes me lacking in care of how i portray it. once again, something i value a lot and am very mindful of... i am drawn to travel and philosophy and passionate about freedom however, but i think most people would agree that they like to visit places... i am not impatient at all however! im patient to a fault! i find combining "impatient" and "overly generous" a little strange... patience is generosity.

I feel like the characteristics of the goat and water fit me a lot better.

I want to be humble so i will point out its what ive been told by others, personally i find it hard to internalize even, bit i do fit the wiseness characteristic. i always just think i come off as waxing poetic but sometimes even looking back on the things ive said i see them as being properly poetic and wise, which also checks off artistic draw- if me being drawn to art and an artist myself didnt already. I am reliable and agreeable but too withdrawn and quiet to often take advantage of these which is exasperated by the fact i am much quieter and more withdrawn and avoiding of social interaction online than i am IRL. i do not take well to change but i am autistic so we can count that one as neutral. i love working with kids, im good with kids! i want to be a father someday! i do not like routines and am absolutely free moving in that regard- with the exception of 1 thing. adding to my schedule out of nowhere is fine usually- taking AWAY is bad. however, this also conflicts with the "does not like change" so i will mark this down as conflicting descriptions. i do prefer to work in larger groups but this is because it is easier to slack off (LOL) but no actually, if we are all knowledgeable on a subject and friendly i would love to work in a group. i shouldnt use my negative experiences from school. ive said it a lot before, but i dont actually get cross at people easy at all, or often. if im mad enough to post about it, usually that means im not mad at all. this is a part of my over extended patience maybe.... i am stuck saying this a LOT to people who are coming to me over a concern and never telling me what the concern is. i am not going to get mad, i dont get mad, and when i am mad, i stay mature and non-aggressive if possible. even at my angriest i fail to get particularly nasty with people because i dont like to. i would much rather explain why i feel the way i do and that i am frustrated and my perspective, rather than resort to namecalling and petty insults, which i usually only indulge in ironically and privately when hearing out my friends. it goes without saying that sympathy is an important value of mine, especially if youve known me a while or closely. im often looking into the thinking of even my enemies to understand the situation more complexly.

[florenceisfalling]

I would like to add the nuance that the ideallization of heaven WITH the contrasting of hell can be very uhhh Not Good for young kids and teens with depressive issues (lmao hi hello) where you're essentially told "If you don't act the way we want you to then you deserve to die and burn but if you do act the way we want you to then death will be the greatest thing you ever do and you will finally be happy :)". Which. Yeah that did not work out well for me lmao-

Obs even among the same sect, different churches do things differently and this may just be a symptom of either being raised Lutheran or the Pastor having been a generally shit person or both, but yeah I do think that we should acknowledge that the ideallization of heaven (with the threat of hell) can sometimes not be the comfort it's SUPPOSED to be but rather the incentive towards death like that other person was calling it but imo just. Did Not phrase well enough.

sorry the spacing is weird idk what the app is doing

tumblr fucking destroyed my response to this ask too. i hate this piece of shit app. anyway

ok so i get where you are coming from but like it doesnt entirely fit the context. like i said before they just failed to mention hell Whatsoever. they also werent approaching it from concern for the mental health or whatever of christians/christian youth bc they were just insisting that evangelicals were politically dangerous because they supposedly dont care about improving the world at all.

this is the original tweet before the one i screenshotted:

none of this is in da fuckin bible! and the idea of saying "all evangelicals believe x" is so wild anyway because (as you alluded to) the christian faith is vast in its variety- not just on an individual level, but based in denomination and region as well. you cant get christians to agree on whether or not tattoos are morally acceptable, much less this! there are literally articles on evangelicalism being hard to pin down or define because its such a widely cast net!

the bible says we are to have life and life more abundantly, that to live is Christ and to die is gain. that doesnt fucking mean "throw yourself into the sea because life is cringe," it means "life is a wonderful opportunity to do good, but dont fear death, because Heaven is a reward." philippians 1:21 was written in a time VERY different from now when Christians were being martyred and shit, and the writer was literally in jail while writing it. he was being courageous and optimistic in the face of possible death! there are many other verses in that nature, thats just the one that came to mind.

YES, if evangelicals took over society, that would suck ass! shoutout to the tweet for getting that part right. that is because the government is meant to be secular, religious tolerance is necessary, and faith is supposed to be a free and informed choice. the idea that "christians think life is supposed to suck so they dont do anything to make the world better" is contradictory to the actual problem, which is that too many christians are doing Far Too Much to try to make the world "better" (read: fit their rightwing politics)

these were some of the lovely additions i saw alongside that tweet /sarcastic

"evangelicals think death is not something to seek etc etc" these people are acting like evangelicals are sacrificing themselves en masse or something! according to the journal of religion and heath, religion actually generally tends to make peoples opinions towards suicide more negative . lol

the existence of a kind afterlife is common in religion because it serves as a comfort (and, if we are honest and critical, a recruitment tactic at times) because everyone dies. trying to imagine happiness after death in a religious context seems so reasonable and yet these ppl r making it out to be a "death cult" or "religion of evil" for this so bizarrely off-course reason??

so many problems with the christian church! so very many! this is such a strange one to panic over!

regarding your specific experience: yeah it sucks. im sorry you had to deal with All That. i dont believe in the typical christian imagining of hell for a Reason. i have been in your shoes. but anyone who makes you feel as if your actions make you "deserving" of heaven and hell seems like a misleading preacher to me. unfortunately there are many of those!! sadge

the entire point of the Crucifixion and Resurrection was that we don't have to deserve ANY of it, because Christ took the pain for us so we could all get heaven regardless of our actions, how much we've sinned, whatever. different christians imagine the criteria for heaven differently (i will not bother explaining mine bc i, once again, do not believe in the commonly imagined hell and thus dont exactly fit the more commonly held beliefs) but generally the protestant idea is that all you have to do is believe in Christ and ask him to forgive and help you. thats it. there is no need for perfection, because He did it all already.

but again! that tweet was so painfully misleading and simplified! they didnt even scratch the surface of any nuance you brought nor how hell is used as a coercive threat!! just "how dare you say that death isnt bad forever >:(" which isnt exactly the best mindset to hold when every human is going to die

ty for ur input and patience mwah

#religion tw #suicide tw #discourse #preacher kid blues

[spade-club]

Okay okay so my person is home now after staying over and I feel like talking in weird detail so I'm going to do that on here if thats cool. This one is going to be more of a mixed bag of INTENSELY personal things than the usual cutesy stuff I usually say about them on my other blog bc I'm feeling lots of things today.

Warning for mentions of sex in both a positive and negative connotation also brief but notable death mention

First of all, theres such a strange feeling about allowing myself to be seen as a girl especially in a sexual sense. I'm not used to it and its weirdly comforting? Considering how much I fought against it for a long while there. I mean, I have mixed feelings about it and I wish there was a solution that let me be trans in just the right way for me to be treated more like I'm trans(/nonbinary/whatever) than anything else. Idk if that makes sense, theres just a balance for me I want to find but I think its good that I'm allowing things to go this way now, I'm experimenting with myself and it doesnt feel scary at all. (Well a little embarrassing but I think thats normal) it's just an adjustment to being on the other side of so many things that I've done to others but have never experienced myself. The mlw -> wlm experience sure is something.

They did ask me if I wanted to have sex and I said no because I was worried my trauma would get in the way and what we were doing was already kinda a lot for me. And I will say the way they just said okay, asked if I wanted to keep doing what we were doing and when I wasnt super enthusiastic about that (I said that we could, and I did want to, I just felt a tad awkward and I think they noticed that) they just stopped and we cuddled. I do wish that more could have happened, honestly, especially because we dont see eachother often and I dont know when anything will happen again. But I'm also very content with what has happened because I think I've been in need of a healthy sexual interaction for a long time now and I just havent really been able to catch a break lol (my ex was mostly fine but theres a lot of shit she did that made me so dysphoric and anxious in a way that lingered for a bit too long on my self worth. Not her fault though, just kid things I guess)

I am worried though that I have done something wrong or havent done something I should have and I dont know if they enjoyed it at all. Its hard to tell because they're a bit more of a closed book and I feel awkward asking like "hey, you know the absolutely nothing I did for you while you were doing things for me? Yeah was that like, okay? Did you have fun anyway? What was going through your mind? And also do you hate me? Are you ever planning on speaking to me again or did I already show you I'm too much of a challenge and do you want to move on from me completely and forever? Also sorry I almost killed you that one time, also that other time...... I would understand if you want me dead now... do you?" Like, how the fuck do you ask someone any of that??? Idk!!

I also think its notable that I have not done anything sexual with another person in almost three years now. I've only ever been with one person before yesterday. I've only ever KISSED one person before yesterday. So all of this is like, first and second times doing things and its. aAA!! I dont know what im doing at all and I'm so awkward and way too afraid to tell them this but maybe I should so they know where I'm coming from aaaa idk!!!

#sad posting #not really but I want this to be easily hide-able #I'm embarrassed posting this but I really want to just. share #usually this would be a private post but fuck it. I'm a new person and I talk about shit now!!!