Tumgik
#i dont mean to be mean anon but i am not entirely concerned with being nice
idkfitememate · 4 months
Note
I am CRYING. FURINA MY BABY YOUR TEAPOT LINES MAKE ME CRY. SHES SO INNOCENT BUT SHES BEEN SO TRAUMATIZED IT HURTS ME. WHY FOCALORS WHY.
😭😭 Furina asks us to dress up as a duo with her. And she said she’d even do our makeup. She’s trying to take back her stolen childhood. MY EYES ARE PUFFY FROM TEARS.
DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ‘the more you let someone in the easier it is for them to hurt you’ LINE. SHES SCARED TO LET PPL IN AND IM WAILING.
I wanna give her all my love and affection!!! 😭
-🦌 anon, who is curled up on the floor crying
Forcing Furina on a bed wasn’t easy. The entire day was spent with and you having a “bonding day” and spend the day inside.
Makeup and clothes whirled past in a blur of blues and makeup was pressed into your fur. The entire day was fun, eating snacks and overall just having fun.
At least, it would be if you didn’t notice the sadness behind Furina’s eyes.
Every time she looked at you in your frilly little dress with a big blue bow around your waist and a smaller blue and gold bow around your head.
Now, you’d be a little ticked at being forced into an outfit, but seeing her on the verge of tears when you began to shake your head no - no matter how much she would deny it - you forced your pride down your throat and and put it on.
Her smile was worth it.
The entire day you could just feel her off-ness, and you’re pretty sure you know why. The events pertaining her curse and the death of that bi- I mean Foçalors had just passed and Furina was finally free.
Free to be human once more.
You, knowing the lore, knew that she had suffered with being alive - unchanging and never aging - for five-hundred-years. You knew that both Foçalors and Neuvillette understood that that would have and has had lasting effects on the poor girl.
But you knew they’d never understand. How could they? They were immortal. They had to get used to the passing of the ones they knew if they were mortal because they were literally built for it. Furina wasn’t. She never was.
And now that she was free, she was coming. Crashing down.
The curtain had fallen and the star of the show has fallen to her knees. Her tears stain the floor as the crowd leaves and her wails echo through the empty halls.
To be honest you haven’t seen much of Neuvillette around. You understood that he had new issues to attend to as the new overseer of the nation of Fontaine. But you barely see him in the halal’s anymore.
Your thoughts were immediately halted when you heard small sniffles coming from your friend.
Your head whipped in her direction only to see tears pouring down her face. You rushed over as fast as you could, wiping those tears away as you gently chittered at her, pulling her crumpled form up so she could face you. At your concerned expression, she only cried more.
“I-It’s just,” she started, “… Did she ever love me? Was I ever even worth anything to her? I played my part and danced till collapse and I didn’t even get a thank you! I don’t understand… I watched my friends die… I watched my f-family die… I outlived all of them! And I didn’t… even… get a thank you…” She broke down back into sobs, holding onto herself as she rocked back and forth.
You could only watch as she shattered in front of you. Pain and guilt rose in your stomachs as you stared. Huffing, you jumped off the bed, and grabbed your stuffed jellyfish, dragging it over and throwing it up before climbing up after her.
You gently nudged it towards her and made sure she grabbed on before jumping back down and racing through the halls.
You ran out the building as fast as your little legs could carry you, the winds of Teyvat boosting your form farther. You continued on until to made it to the Opera Eclipse and ran through there until you made it to Neuvillette’s office.
You didn’t even bother to knock before shoving to door open and rushing up to him. He stopped his writing and looked down, his eyes softening at you. He opened his mouth to speak before you grabbed his sleeve. You yanked and pulled and he finally stood up, allowing you to lead him.
Making it back home, you all but forced the man into Furina’s room, and forced him on the bed. She had stopped sobbing by this point, but silent tears still ran down her face.
She looked shocked at Neuvillette’s appearance and he looked shocked at her dishevelment. You shuffled up to her in the ridiculous dress you had on - you would later find out it perfectly match the dress Furina had on when she came into being, after being separated from Foçalors - and part her lips.
“Do you… wish for me to repeat myself?” She whispered, looking at the slightly panting Neuvillette with worry. But at your nod she sighed, realizing why you did this.
And if her Otter wanted something, who was she to deny them that.
When she parted her lips you leapt from the bed, and walked out of the room to give them privacy. You could tell she hesitated at your lack of presence, but hearing her start to speak after you closed the door, you wagged your little tail in relief.
Staring towards the kitchen, you planned on getting them both nice tall glasses of water.
And by the time you got back and managed to open the door, you were met with Neuvillette holding the girl close and shushing her, a light patter of rain outside.
“Of course we’re grateful. I’m grateful. I am so sorry my Lady that I had neglected you. I will say it until the stars and the moon itself command me to stop that you are appreciated. That I care. And though I cannot speak for her fully I can say that my Ar- … Foçalors did care for you. And she loved you. I love you. I care for you. I will never understand the trials of being human and I know that what she did is irreversible, but I do want to be there.” He continued to speak to the crying child in his arms, neither noticing you walking in while dragging the glasses of water in.
Making a small noise, the Sovereign looked down and smiled at you, though you could see the tears in his eyes. He picked you up then the glasses, handing one to Furina who was still clutching your plushy.
“And I can also say that our darling here loves you and cares.” Neuvillette mused, running a hand quickly through your fur.
You chuffed in response and licked the girls face causing a giggle to escape her throat.
Here she was wanted. Here she was needed. Here she was loved.
And you were going to do your damndest to make sure it stays that way.
Wanna hug her and hold her and give her kisses on the cheek and UGH- My baby໒꒰ྀི ╥﹏╥ ꒱ྀིა
I personally think she’s like… a teen. She looks like a teen. So imagine being in a mental state of an adult with the emotional state of a child and being forced to watch everyone you know and love die. I couldn’t do it she is so strong but I STILL WANNA HOLD HER MY BABY!!! ૮꒰ ˶꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ˶꒱ა
242 notes · View notes
pastadoughie · 4 months
Note
Read over what was going on with anon asks and your posts, and tbh, if you are 16 and you are reaching this kind of critical thinking and actively trying to better yourself through meaningful debates and convos, you are doing god's fucking work from early. I couldn't even begin to form the kind of arguments you are articulating at your age in your posts, so fucking kudos.
I have a similar opinion of sexism being bad no matter the form it takes, patriarchy affects everyone because it imposes roles on everyone, not only women. Breaking those roles on all sides and genders should be the ultimate goal, not try to benefit from the system to become the oppressor.
In any case dude, good luck with the unavoidable influx of people who will misinterpret your posts. Also, your art is hella cool!
i think that alot of ppl just have a rlly hard time like, getting over the gut response to defend themselves when they recieve some kind of serious critisism, like, i think ppl understand on some level that sexism as a concept is stupid, but it can be hard to fully see all the nuances it takes and like, actually recognize it when its subtler
sexism is bad and when i point out that alot of you guys believe ideas that are like, really sexist then thats like, im assuming none of you are like "YEAA SEXISM RUELZZZ!!!! I HATE PEOPLE BASED ON THIER GENDOR" and u rlly rlly dont wanna be lumped into that group
its rlly normal to not wanna be mischaracterized and if you dont self identify as sexist then when someone points out sexist retoric it feels like an unfair and reductive veiw of u
and its like, you really really really need to work past that, im talking abt this stuff because i want ppl to change and be better and if you want that for yourself u have to like rlly chew on these kinds of things
i think what alot of people have issues with is like, relatability in artwork, like "of course im gonna like art with queer women in it more and find it more valueble if im a queer woman" but i think that this points to a really rigid and uphelpful veiw of gender
ive discussed before that, because the mind numbing ammount of biological differences people have theres no actual objective definition of sex or gender, its socially constructed and entirely arbitrary and subjective
i think that labels for sexuality and gender are useful shorthand in our current society though ideally we wouldnt need them, but you need to remember that these things arent rigid
butch lesbian is not a definable group, gay man is not a definable group, they are arbitrary words that mean something different for literally every different person
likewise acting like those meaningless labels somehow make some artwork more or less valueble just points to a bias against people with a certain label
like, the labels dont mean anything they shouldnt change your veiw of a work, if you resonate with a peice of work why does it matter what label is put on it? why does that affect your veiw on the peice?
and yes you are objectively going to relate to some experiences more then others, but i dont think relatability should effect how you value the work, infact id argue seeing perspectives different then your own is incredibly incredibly valueble and, if your disregarding (even subconciously) certain things because theyre made by men then that not only hurts men but it hurts you, it isolates you
maybe i didnt word that perfectly im not always the most articulate but like, i think most of the issues people are having with this are coming from me articulating things maybe not as intuatively as i could or from people refusing to properly engadge with what i have to say
idk, regarding the people accusing me of transmysogeny i just wanna say that like, I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO TALKING TO YOU ABT THIS!! i want to be better and i dont want to be mysogenistic! and if you do see concerning behavior in me i want to be told of it, you keeping these kinds of things to yourself or refusing to engadge with me when i actively am trying to be like, thourough and nuanced about things is just kinda, not productive
55 notes · View notes
lains-reality · 9 months
Note
Im struggling with applying this concept in my daily life due to boredom (my ego is too bored to live in the present)
So what I’m getting is that we’re just observing the ego. The “self” doesnt think that something is boring- ego does. And the state of being bored is just the state of wanting something to happen. Which contradicts the I am.
It’s just that my ego lives such a boring life with almost zero human contact for the entire day and with few hobbies. The only thing I feel like I can resort to is social media. (Which I’m trying to stop) Do I just observe this routine on and on again? It’s hard to live in the present when there’s nothing to do
Sorry I don’t know if this made much sense..
"Im struggling with applying this concept in my daily life due to boredom (my ego is too bored to live in the present)"
theres not really an application, just reminders. when something prompts you to do anything, that can be used to remind yourself of the truth.
when i get bored its usually 'cause i want the world to look a certain way, when actually even without your desires there are so much things to do! divinity is in everything, everywhere.
"And the state of being bored is just the state of wanting something to happen."
what ru talking abt (1) theres no states here (2) does being bored actually have to mean anything? ik i just said the reason why i get bored, but ... (3) if the character is unreal, then does it concerns matter?
"Which contradicts the I am."
nothing really contradicts the I AM. everthing takes place in awareness anyway, this is all like saying I AM bored, but really you are the I AM, not the bored. you can just accept that the bored feeling is here, it doesnt really change anything does it?
"It’s just that my ego lives such a boring life with almost zero human contact for the entire day and with few hobbies."
then do some hobbies? what do you want me to advise you?? you're bored.. its either
do something and enjoy yourself
wallow in the boredom
either way you can let go of limitations as you go in both situations anyway. idk if this will help but i thought that i couldnt let go of limitations without some big fight or something, but no! simply getting yourself to do some chores and choosing to enjoy yourself through that is enough.
theres this idea that everything is meditation, once you know what it is.
went a bit off point lol
"The only thing I feel like I can resort to is social media. (Which I’m trying to stop)"
then stop fixing yourself to feeling like theres only social media. just let the idea of something possibly more guide you. you think you are the character who only has the body it has now and is limited by it.
"It’s hard to live in the present when there’s nothing to do"
you know i deleted a quote from my reblog blog's queue bcs i thought this is not as important as the others, i'm so mad now that i need it. it said bascially people mistake the contents of the present moment as the actual present moment. it was by eckhart tolle.
you are ALREADY IN THE PRESENT MOMEMT, your mind wants to take you to the past or future, but thats not NOW. you can say 'but that was then' or 'thats not now so i dont need to deal with it rn' and move on. you don't need something to do to honour the present moment. you're already here!!
also, again, you think that theres nothing to do bcs you take yourself to be the body. the limited. theres so much more than what you're character can do. you are unlimited.
reading
read practising the power of now by eckhart tolle, its like consistently the only book i keep talking abt in like almost all anon answers
learn to be comfortable by yourself
59 notes · View notes
Note
(same guy as previous Japanese anon hi)(no need to reply if yall dont want to, but please reply privately if you do 🙏)
Also... if I find any translation errors, would it be ok to point those out? This version's excellent! But I just happened to find a small (easily mistaken) error while looking through. I did hear that there's a 2.0 version in the works, and I know yall value staying true to the original, but I also don't know what's going on behind the scenes, and don't want to give out unwanted advice or anything like that.
Hey again!
I do not mind responding to this ask publicly, as what I am about to say concerns everyone.
Thank you so much for your kindness and consideration towards our feelings about feedback and advice, it means a lot to have a chance to consent to receiving this information.
However, we've said this before and it still remains unchanged: we are always open to peer review and receiving feedback about our translation, our typesetting and / or our scans. We're aiming to make the best translation we can, and while we're doing our best, there will always be errors and chances to improve and learn more.
It is no secret and I, being the main translator, will always say that I am not entirely happy with my earliest work. I've learned so much over the years of working on this project, and all that I've learned I wish to apply to the early parts of the manga. This was another goal of 2.0, to apply our gained experience to make a new translation.
This doesn't mean that feedback about 1.0 isn't still valuable to us, as it is still potentially teaching us about common and / or repeated mistakes. If anyone has any feedback what's so ever, don't ever hesitate to send us a PM and we'll gladly hear what you have to say, or even discuss choices and creative decisions we've made.
So, for your original question, feel free to send me a message through PMs and I'll get back to you whenever I am able to.
31 notes · View notes
ziaron · 2 years
Note
woah hi ok UMMMMMMFHSKXNXKSB (this is my first request so excuse how bad i’ll be at explaining this to you)
ive always had this idea about someone a person is dating ending up being a yandere, like they really wanna protect you to the point they kidnap you and treat you like a goddess like that and just hurts everyone that interferes? or if they see someone that’s getting closer than they’d like or they’re jealous they’d just break their leg and go “oh! they fell down the stairs yesterday :(.. i helped them, it was so sad!”
also what if they’re like kinda scary but try to be nicer around you because to them you’re like an absolute angel or goddess
I MEAN YOU SAID YOU WANT A REASON TO WRITE SO I GAVE YA ONE
also idk if u do the anon thing where they have a name i completely forgot but if u do i really like oranges so 🤭🤭 maybe i could be orange anon… OKAY THATS JUST ME BEING AN IDIOT LMFAO
Loved orange anon xDD --- 🍊🍊🍊
I'm going to write more, i just am a bit burnt at the moment
Ok but in all seriousness im willing to regress into my feral writer form to satiate your needs ♡♡♡ (P.s. Lyo is read like Leo)
cw: Yandere behavior, manipulation, physical assult (Not towards reader), threats, idolization, stalking
'No relationship is perfect- no one is perfect.' you keep repeating to yourself.
What kills you is, for the most part, he is perfect. You've truly never felt this amount of love, tenderness or care in your entire life. So what if his eyes widen just at the sight of you enter a room- like he was meeting a deity of some kind. Isn't it wrong to ask less of him? Of a man so utterly devoted to you?
"What are you thinking about, angel?" Lyo's concerned eyes stare daggers into yours, waiting patiently for your reply.
"What am I-? Oh... nothing." After you speak there's nothing but silence for a minute or two
"It's just that-... Well... I know something is wrong so- can you just tell me so I can fix it?" He leans in as you quickly pull away, last time you let him 'fix' an issue between you and someone else your friend of two years sustained some pretty nasty bruises, bruises way too specifically placed to have been caused by a tumble in the dirt.
You let it slide then- 'just once' you thought. Since your so called friend had turned into a real jackass after having a few too many, and refused to take no for an answer. You didn't even bother to start a fight even when you knew Lyo was lying to your face about just walking him home, the quick glimpse of fresh scratches on his knuckles where all the proof you needed at the time.
But then there was that 'accident' on the staircase, the scared glances that surround him, the constant hovering, and the multiple monologs about how deeply he loves you, how he will always protect you; how you were like a divine being, taking pity on the likes of him-.
'He doesn't mean to- he doesn't know he's wearing me down... He doesn't mean to.'
"Please- just let me handle it myself. I'll be alright." you give him a reassuring glance before an abrupt
SLAM
As his hand meets the table. Instantly, you look at him with a mixture of shock, confusion and fear.
"I'm sorry! I'm so-so sorry! I didn't mean to! I just-!" Lyo's posture shrinks- like he's trying to make himself look as non-threatening as possible after seeing the look on your face.
You'd never seen him like that before. He was always incredibly calm with you-
"-please dont be mad at me, angel!" He reaches to cup your face in his hands "I just want to protect you... that's all...... GODDAMN IT! This is all his fault! YOU KNOW THAT?!"
Your mouth is still agape as you watch him unravel. 'Did he want to hit me?' 'Was he going to hit me?' were the only thoughts going through your head as you watched him pace.
Finally after a minute you blurt out
"I can't do this anymore. For a second there- I genuinely thought you might hurt me. I can't do this, I'm sorry, I need to leave."
He freezes.
"Don't." Lyo's voice came out as half threatening, half pleading. Like he was dreading what he would have to do next.
"I need you. Please- I just want to protect you! You know I would never hurt you! Ever! I just got a little frustrated! That's all! Don't be stupid, you know I'd never ever hurt you! I'D NEVER HURT YOU!?! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I-"
"Stop!", "I made my decision."
"So what? Mine doesn't matter then? What am i supposed to do without you? I have nothing without you. You aren't just the greatest thing in my life- you- you are my life!" Desperation clang to every word Lyo spoke, making your heart ache.
He could tell you were caving, as pools began to cloud your eyes you croak out a pitiful "ok..." before feeling his warm embrace.
Lyo gently pets your head, holding you tightly for a good few minutes while you cry. Knowing that just like a moth drawn to flame, He has you exactly where he wants you, no- needs you.
51 notes · View notes
slashcrz · 3 months
Note
I have seen you posting about this RP often but you have never posted an ounce of proof to back up your claims. I am also a bit confused as to why you remained in the group for so many months if you felt the admins were this bad? You even said you knew one of the admins from a previous group and thought they were bad and then still joined their group? It doesn't add up to me.
totally understandable. let me try and explain a little more about what happened in francehq, and why i feel everyone should take extreme precaution before joining this game... due to the nature of some of the experiences that myself, and others, had regarding the admin in question, i share the screenshots privately, off of anon, since they hold some personally identifying information. additionally - ive even had one person go through the effort of their changing their entire online alias just to avoid another potential run-in with the admins, after feeling bullied as well. there are at least 6 different personal accords about being victimized about this admin/admin team (see others sharing their experience after leaving here, and here. we also had support here.) i had 3 former members of francehq reach out to me to thank me for speaking up, sharing they had felt the same and had been gaslit by mars into feeling they were the problem. i can, of course, share these as well upon request but for the safety of those involved, i will be blurring their discord name. of course, many of the victims wish to keep their identity (mainly, their discord) private, i am sure you understand. this got long, so further intel is under the cut + screenshots.
as for the previous group (i assume you mean my comment here), i hesitated before joining francehq for awhile, but i firmly believe in second chances. i joined with a friend who also had concerns, but we wanted to trust that people can change. plus, in 1642 where i ran into mars before, it was just clique-y behavior, and ship chasing... nothing too major, things that can be grown from, right? unfortunately, it all got worse over the months spent in francehq. for me, my issues with mars started in september, and then we had a discussion in october where she admitted to singling me out & not writing with me due to a concern i'd brought up as a member to the admins. i was targeted, and i almost left. i stayed for my good friends, and our plots, and tried to just look past the behavior i was seeing. i think we all want to give the benefit of the doubt, when we can, right?
unfortunately, things worsened, and when things started to get racist and fetish-y, i took back to back hiatuses while i tried to make decisions. mind you - i had over 2k posts on my character blog! this was hours of my life, of my love. but the proof is in the pudding - i mean, look at francehq RIGHT NOW. 23 taken characters, between 3 muns - NONE of them are bipoc, and the majority of the poc are from idol music groups. it's extremely fetishy. additionally - here, here, and here is screenshots of the admin characters, and the relationships that were active (notice the face chasing? these are the characters in the group still).
the final kicker was when mars decided to rewrite the entire backstory of a taken character that she did not play. she decided that this character had to be white, had to be adopted, had to come from another noble family, and the mun had been writing this character for months. mind you - this character was not previously adopted and this character had a full intro, posted and everything. mars has a history of excessive godmodding (and character copying/theft). i can prove this, too. there was no genuine apology or effort made to rectify the godmodding.
ALSO - look at francehq. they have their askbox off, their replies off, their reblogs off, everything is locked down, and they are hiding. you dont hide, unless you have something to hide. i am happy to share my screenshots with anyone off of anon, if they reach out, and i've done so before! <;3 ultimately, it is up to everyone to make their own decision, but i have had 10+ people come forward ( even people i have never met ) with personal experiences with mars. PLEASE TAKE CAUTION. if you decide to involve with this group, please be careful. that is all i am trying to do is spread the awareness.
also lets not forget that mars literally made a colonial rp in the past with heavy slave elements
2 notes · View notes
horizon-verizon · 4 months
Note
Just because some people like this fictional character doesnt mean they have the same view as them *they were rise as royalty in medieval world that they think they were better than everyone else* if someone else still turn out good, well good for them people should not explaining this, George books is for adult, everyone with working braincells know racism is bad and i don't have to excuse Rhaenyra for that but the way this people thinking that Daemon is better than her is CONCERNING, Daemon also the one who calling baby Baelon as "the heir of the day" wtf did you thing a BABY did to Daemon? Existing? so they dont have the same rage with this because the baby didnt have character to talk about they even makes a joke of it just like Daemon was, he also constantly insulting his wife, the main characters in this story said fucked up thing Alicent also calling Rhaenyra's children "Bastards seeds of war"? Aemond constantly calling rhaenyra "whore" for sleeping with a man she likes and have children with harwin instead rap3 her gay husband or chosing some sex worker who have similar looks with her how dare her! And still want an iron throne?, she should keep her legs closed and lonely on her castle like good obidient women was, people killing children and their own sibling, rapng woman but this people draw the line at racism? Wow even Maegor wish he gets the same hate as her and treat as one of the most hated character in the entire franchise, but he's only a man everyone have excuse for a man's crime (he's just silly boy who decapitating kittens) unlike whore rhaenyra who raise taxes and insultingsomeone by their skin color
did you know celebrating a child death or insulting your wife is not real its only fiction when it was Daemon who did it? See Daemon is not racist at all when he calls women in the vale ugly than the sheeps This is not Racist he just saying truth because women in the vale is white (you could never be racist if they are white according to American logic) and according to people who see them they actually ugly so we didnt hate him for it, why people so hard to except the truth? So how dare people accuse him for racist? I could never! he defintly better than His racist niece, i still dont understand why Rhaenyra even chose man who looks "common" as lover she maybe drunk you know she's racist and Valyrian supremacist unlike Daemon (shakes my head)
I watch a movie called The return of the witch when the main character like Rhaenyra was, and there was a knight who being bothered by this witch thank god someone save his ass from her
Anon's probably responding to this post.
The anon of that posts said [excerpt]:
I am not here for any Rhaenyra’s stan trying to excuse or downplay a white woman’s misogynoir and classism because her sons died. Grief doesn’t make you suddenly racist, or compel you to say racist things. You were always that way. The grief just brought out the racism and supremacism that was always simmering beneath the surface.
You didn't need to move away from Rhaenyra's racism into the misogyny levied against her to argue against that past anon's words. That anon was expressing that they don't respect those who do stan her refusal to acknowledge her misogynoir against Nettles, that it came from Rhaenyra's will even under all those stresses, and that it is as serious as it should be seen.
A)
Anonymous, Daemon says the "heir for a day" in the context of wanting the throne but not actually having the biggest claim to it as the nephew or Rhaenyra would, bc he is not Viserys' child. It is a localized infraction, personal, against Viserys AND it was offhand. However, if someone calls me a racial epithet or does as that writer who almost got published did and tried to leave bad reviews of Black and PoC authors to establish dominance, then they are attempting to promote systematic suffering so they can come out on top. There is an intention to destroy a person's life AND to have socio-political privilege over others based on their socialized identity conditioned to be as immutable as possible. Like many said, you don't get to be racist because you had a bad day, are mentally ill, an alcoholic, your parents died, etc. as that writer tried to reason.
Racism is not this personal moral failing or symptomatic result of a racist facing oppression like hating on babies. It comes from systematic privilege given to the racist that allows them to see the oppressed as lesser than & historical, generational violence against said oppressed group. Hating on babies for one moment out of jealousy does not have that scope, level, depth, etc. racism does and never will. People may say often that "oh, they're being racist bc they have envy", and yes people default to their racism or sexism or classism bc they are envious...but their envy is the kind where they feel that the person they are envious of shouldn't have what they have bc what they have is something the racist/sexist/etc has learned they should have by "default" bc of their social class/race, etc. Key word is "systematic".
This reveals, anon, that you either are white or you are a PoC/Black person with a lot of internalized racism and a lack of understanding of racist history.
B)
You: "See Daemon is not racist at all when he calls women in the vale ugly than the sheeps This is not Racist he just saying truth because women in the vale is white (you could never be racist if they are white according to American logic) and according to people who see them they actually ugly so we didnt hate him for it, why people so hard to except the truth?"
Anon, what are you on about? Who said that Daemon was racist here? Who said anything about the Vale or that his comments to Rhea Royce were racist? Who is it that made Daemons' opinion about Rhea Royce's looks a racial thing? It certainly wasn't the past anon or me and I have never seen someone try until you just did.
You're making large leaps of logic here to justify and derail away from examining Rhaenyra's actions, as I already mentioned, to the point your words are incoherent. You are both trying to run away from race talk and flinging it at another character...
You: "So how dare people accuse him for racist? I could never! he defintly better than His racist niece, i still dont understand why Rhaenyra even chose man who looks "common" as lover she maybe drunk you know she's racist and Valyrian supremacist unlike Daemon (shakes my head)"
?! (incoherent)
2 notes · View notes
beesmygod · 2 years
Text
ugh
despite being such a gossip and drama hound myself, i do not relish being the subject of it. you might think its because being the subject of scrutiny and attention is stressful. it’s actually because the people who keep lining up to try to shots at me wind up being the dumbest people alive who knock themselves out somehow. i think its important to get in front of “a narrative”, especially in this case, where every player is a lying liar who lies ahahaha. this one is way funnier than morbi actually. up until now, i was tactfully setting aside what happened out of uh. whatever kindness was left in my heart, i guess. more fool me!
im not going out of my way to crop ppl out of this if you look bad its your own damn fault. no one made you type this shit but you. dont post shit you can’t cash.
you might have been confused by the exchange between anon and this guy yesterday when i reblogged it to set the record straight on morbi. i was, until very recently, an infrequent contributor to his webcomics discord. earlier this year, i tried to reach out into more communities so i could get to know more artists and keep up with what’s hot (what a stupid fucking idea that was, in hindsight). a few days ago, some weirdly supportive of kiwifarms tweets from a comic artist who was ruined by them were posted for discussion. everyone pretty much just noted that it was weird with one person asking what kf even was. everyone else explained so i added this stupid shit
Tumblr media
note: this is at 5:24 am. because at 7pm that night, one of the people in the discord goes completely full fucking tilt out of literally nowhere. i have screencapped the entire conversation up until that point as proof that i 1. literally did not say anything else the entire day and 2. proof that the conversation was completely normal up until that point.
Tumblr media
inexplicably, people in the server put on kids gloves and start trying to come to a middle ground with this dipshit like hmm yes maybe we are a little kiwifarms could you explain more so we can understand you. when i noticed an hour later i saw red.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
for someone who was “not helping”, the attention-seeking hysteric suddenly evaporated into thin air. i dont think anyone has actually shamed them for their behavior before. the conversation was shut down rather than resolved because i raised the temperature. daniel invited me to speak to him more privately in his dm if i had any more concerns bc i was pissed it was being swept under the rug. so i did.
here is the conversation in full. im posting it bc it makes him look like a clown and because later, he characterizes this as “chasing him” into his dms. what i didnt realize until today is that he says that the person going nuts is a moderator’s sibling, which explains why they’re permitted to take huge shits on people with no repercussions.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
having committed the worst crime you can do in a nerd group (be mean) i was subjected to a post-mortem about the event (?) which culminated with this unbelievable irony cap
Tumblr media
after my 10 mins were up, i said “i am not a good cultural fit or share the same moral priorities as this server and i will show myself out” and left. i vented on my twitter with blistering posts basically saying “well they’re all young. its annoying and seems bad but what can i do but leave”. and left it there.
it seems insanely obvious to me, so obvious that i struggled to even have to explain it to people whose entire brain appeared to have leaked out of their skull, that allowing someone in your discord for artists accuse random artists of wanting to reboot the mass shooting and violent transphobia website is literally the worst possible behavior you could permit. i wasnt expecting the mods to leap into action and do something, as they seemed to desperately think. i wanted to not belong to a community that would tolerate or entertain this.
anyway, yesterday morbi happened. i reblogged that post and daniel, after being told he wasnt a problem, decided he absolutely had to be one right now. he followed me on twitter and began posting ominously about a “write-up” of what happened between morbi and i because “some people” (this could literally only be the discord chat, and the reason he didnt want to post it there so they could snicker at it to themselves was because he thought this would humiliate or scare me) were curious.
Tumblr media
maybe you’ve noticed a little flaw in the logic both morbi and dan have when it comes to “doxing”: for two people who are very concerned about privacy they’re out here retweeting the very information they’re decrying as invasive and then dan goes and fucking googles her and posts on a public platform more information about her than i cared to know. i cant stop thinking about how these morons were completely convinced they were doing something noble and righteous here by standing up for someone that maybe might be a black woman (hence: racism) based entirely on like a pintrest account
Tumblr media
the cloying, transparent attempts to seduce me into messaging him first to soothe his battered ego are so desperate and pathetic that they make you hurt from the sidelines. you can see me gently try to explain why they look like a complete lunatic clutching their pearls over unmasking anonymous hate before i give up. there was so much obviously wrong about what they were doing that i was in disbelief that they were telling me that they were doing it.
1. taking a “both sides” approach doesn’t work when one person is a serial sexual harasser and the other posted an email address attached to a near cry-typing comment.
2. the attempt to use black women as a cudgel to defeat his posting enemy.
3. whatever this. attempt at banter is. idk man.
all of this didn’t work, so he tried showing me a piece of what he was writing that was the most deliberately inflammatory in the hopes that this morsel would finally compel me to bite and come begging for a re-write to save my webcomic career.
Tumblr media
i wasn’t posting in a way that was drawing attention to this, it was a nosy (positive) friend who noticed this happening and went “holy shit what the fuck are you doing” which caused him to backpedal furiously
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i was planning on letting him post it and just letting it speak for itself. i cannot think of a more ruinous thing to do to yourself than to ally with a sexual harasser and post openly and transparently about how extremely mad you are about how a girl made you feel. what could have possibly gone wrong.
in the end, daniel signed off with this post, signaling a more positive future for himself and his comic since his plan to annoy someone with a reputation for being a huge bitch multiple times by trying to downplay the severity of his and his friend’s actions, somehow blew up in his face
Tumblr media
ah wait hold on. im getting word that he posted this after deleting a different post. this one
Tumblr media
if there were any doubt what this were all about, daniel went and tweeted it out (literally) because subtext is difficult. my demand for a public apology for being accused baselessly of a career ending lie in order to stop this behavior from ever happening again has been recontextualized in his head as mean old bea picking on him and forcing him to do terrible things like “moderate” as a moderator.
over the past week ive been subject to racists, sex pests and 0/10 trolls but the spineless, moral coward is the most egregiously memorable of the lot. despite the amount of leeway i gave him for his repeated weak-willed behavior, he always found a new way to own himself without external prompting. despite me walking away and being satisfied with that, he came back for more. there are some people you cannot help, there are some people i don’t want to help because they cannot stop putting their hands on hot stoves. and then there are people who are begging for it.
somehow, it will be my fault that he feels bad and embarrassed about his behavior because i have catalogued it after being pushed around enough and it will not be seen as a direct result of his repeated failure of conscience.
anyway lol, lmao
51 notes · View notes
agirldying · 2 years
Note
I don't really know what to do with the fact that my life has been ruined
my entire childhood was dogshit. when i say childhood i also mean elementary school. i was emotionally, sexually, and physically abused and my only support group were older kids who did that stuff to me. i was dehumanized every time i acted out due to trauma — i will never forget the day i went to the hospital at age 11 for reasons related to sexual abuse and my mom looked at me with shame. The nurses showed concern for my wellbeing meanwhile my own mother did not.
there were many things i perpetuated onto other people and animals so not only do i live with the things that happened to me, i live with the guilt of the things i did to others. Im 18 now and have a better understanding of boundaries with regards to how others are supposed to treat me and how im supposed to treat others so im called a nice and sweet person but none of them know that i still have antisocial tendencies. would they call me a nice and sweet person if they knew about the things ive done? if they knew that i am manipulative and aggressive when i feel the situation calls for it? If they knew i have violent fantasies? That i degrade people in my head? If they knew that i isolate myself because im not interested in 99% of people? i shut up and do nice things because the people around me dont deserve bad things but they'll never know what goes on in my head.
I will never be a satisfied/content/happy person and knowing that makes me question the nature of my humanity. I will never live a normal life because the things that motivate most people such as relationships and careers are things i dont care about. im probably going to eat, sleep, isolate myself until the day i die.
Hi anon,
I'm sorry to hear about what you've been through.
I think your "antisocial tendencies" are explained by what you've endured and internalized from childhood. It sounds like the apathy from your mother, the older kids, and anyone else who contributed to your trauma have internalized a lot of feelings of dehumanization and othering (an unusual separation between you and others).
It's important to highlight the fact that you do have a better understanding of boundaries, how people are supposed to be treated, but also it sounds like you acknowledge that there were some things you did that were bad. I think it shows that you've grown more than you think you have because you're able to identify that. There are many people who cannot say the same.
I don't mean to say "everyone has antisocial tendencies" but some of what you listed is not uncommon. Many people use aggression and even manipulation when they "feel the situation calls for it". Many people degrade others in their head. Either way you're not alone.
I think it's worth asking yourself what normal means. Perhaps consider that normal is subjective and looks different for everyone. Your normal may not be my normal, but it's still normal, you know? I think especially with the onset of mental illness or trauma, you can create a new normal, a way of being that's functional for you.
Your past and the way it has affected you doesn't have to dictate your future. From trauma survivor to trauma survivor, you can still find happiness and satisfaction in your life. It may not look like everyone else's, but that doesn't matter.
I hope this all makes sense, and I hope I could help at least somewhat. Please let me know if you need anything, I'm always here.
1 note · View note
yomiurinikei · 2 years
Note
i feel as though i might be someone you side-eye because of an analysis i did, cause i've been into the game for over a year but the only people I ever talked about the game was with those I knew irl, and none of us had any clue about the fandom or any linju info. Iike recently i realised, 'oh what the, this fandom thinks very differently about this game than we did'. and i really think different environments/people really change what you think/know about the games. we never bothered to look deep into the game cause it was nothing more than a game we got into, y'know?
i feel like that's getting a bit off topic but still. people's experiences with the game are definitely changing a lot. a lot more now. sorry that this is stressful, i feel as though my analysis may have add to the stress. to which I do apologize.
glad to hear you are okay tho!
sorry that this is an extra ask to answer.
hello hello!!!
first off dont apologize for asks!! i like answering asks i like talking to people. if the reason u think u have to apologize is because of the time i mentioned like… i may answer the asks i have now and leave this blog, that doesn’t mean i mind getting asks! aaand besides that, i’m feeling significantly better having actually. expressed why i was freaked out, and being reacted to with support!
nowww. there’s nothing wrong with making an analysis! there was like… one or two? which got me freaked out because like… “mmm that’s really reminiscent of the feed expressed by (user who ended up being a raging pro shipper) that’s not… good..” buuut. i do trust that people r good until they’re explicitly shown to be supporting bad things which they know r wrong, so im definitely not upset with anyone who’s new around here!!!
there has been a lot of new people to look into, which! is really nice, because new content and engagement is great, it’s just like… my Issues from being here for so long and seeing so many people ending up as proshippers/etc etc, has made me have a bit of a hair pull trigger when it comes to seeing red flags.
but yeah! if you are like. the one person who posted something which made me go “ohhh you don’t seem to know about (blank) which. entirely changes the context of this thing” then like. all i’m gonna do is reach out to u to explain why people have a different view of (concerning take), but like. i don’t think it’s a bad thing/moral failing to not have context and to make your own views with what u think aksjdjdjkd,,
uhhh tldr. i have issues from seeing so many gross people in the fandom but i just needed to be reminded that people actually care about being good and normal people akdjdjdk, talking with people is great and explaining things is great and like… maybe today? i have a lot of schoolwork. but maybe today i’ll reach out to some people and also.. potentially upload a list of icky users to watch out for. yea. love nd support to u anon i am sure ur a great person!!!
2 notes · View notes
csmean · 2 years
Text
Hello its Zoo!
Hello its Zoo (not the literal zoo, though that would be funny) from Stygians. Sorry it took me so long to track things down, I'm a bit of a boomer when it comes to social media, and it took me longer to actually remember... how to log in.. or use...tumblr because the last time I used it was around 5 years ago... 
Anyway, I thought it would be extremely facetious of me to just not address this in the open since I was linked here like 12323 times so here we go. I do want to preface this with, anything outside the Stygians discord and Stygians site/ DA group I prefer not to get involved with because it is none of my business! Nothing and nobody is perfect (and you'd be deluding yourself it you thought so). People make mistakes and poor decisions all the time. Sometimes, they get fixed, sometimes they dont, and its up to you to decide where you want to go from there. I used to be part of Gaiaonline dot com and back in the day we had drama forums instead of asks, and they were all anon random usernames submitting blogs about people they hated, or things they didn't like, or hilariously, ugly adopt designs. The internet is circular, and back in the day I learned just to let those go their natural course as well because sometimes people just need an outlet and/or are miserable and/or just want to see the world burn. Who knows! Anyway sorry longass tangent leading to here:
Regarding guest artist leaks, the juicy part: the reason why I came to directly address this is because it breaks a thousand TOSes (which I'll touch on in a moment) and is a complete breach of contract between the GA posting the leaks, and the species they were hired to be a guest artist on. I mean there's a thousand ethical issues too like, if I am hired to do something somewhere, do I have a right to steal/take that company's assets? Legally, no, but pokemon leaks happen, genshin leaks happen, that kind of stuff doesn't bother me as much. It literally doesn't bother me if people want to post like cropped thumbnails of Stygian leaks from upcoming guests, though it is again, shitty, to do so, its not enough for me to write a 10000 word essay about it, instead of fixing legit site bugs/ working on owed work. What does bother me is ripping off the final sale assets from the guest artists, again this is on me I should have made them more secure, but the catch22 is I didn't expect a GA to actually be this unprofessional as an artist. I'll repeat what I wrote to the guest artists: 
"If you worked hard on something, a piece of art, anything, and someone else took that final product from you and distributed in some format elsewhere (coughnfts), in a way other people can consume the design outside of its intended release, then you can see why this is an issue! Especially so when guest artists not only dropped off their pngs, but also extra assets such as extra backgrounds, props, lore notes, psds just for the owners of these sales. I dont think anyone would be happy, for example, if they bought a design, and someone else had also saved a copy to clone as their own with all the assets, this is still a huge breach of trust. I don't want to go on for too long, because this isn't to shame anyone, this is simply to explain, why this is such a huge issue, especially since this is a policy meant to protect all guest artists as well from being exploited @ having their assets reused elsewhere. Stygians itself as a species has so many opportunities for free designs, there really is no reason to leak guest designs unless its literally to spite the guest artists themselves OTL." 
That's it! 10000 word essay part 1/2 done. Throughout all of last night, I had to deal with multiple dms, chaos, fire, the usual. But I also had to deal with guest artists who had made accompanying pieces of work they spent days on for the upcoming sales voicing concerns their extra work intended for the sale winner would just be stolen and ripped off, and voicing concerns people would just take their entire .psds uploaded. This is where I truly have the issue: the fact that the artists intended them only for a specific use, very similar to if you sub to an artist patreon and get patreon only assets from an artist, those are meant to be consumed just on the patreon (again still an issue but less of an issue if you guys share this via dms but in public is a huge oof). Its all fun and harmless if you are just sharing, but we don't know the intentions of everyone reading on the blog: assets such as backgrounds, .psds, and more can easily be resold/ redistributed. This would probably be known better as art theft. I mean someone once stole my old 2004 pokemon DA art and printed it off/sold it/pretended to be me. Its hilarious, but it sucks, and nobody would want that to happen to their stuff.
I did some backread skimming here but honestly, I get it. Leaks are fun, they're entertaining! I wish I could stop people but ultimately, but I can only try my best to explain why please do not post a full artist's dropoffs for their sake. I mean if for personal/private consumption you linked images for your buddies on discord thats not going to get me as riled up either. Shit like that happens, just don't make it literally a breach of contract shit @ stealing other peoples works for your personal gain/ full .pngs/ .psds etc! 
Thanks again Mushy for moderating this and for reconsidering. It's a wild west out here and I wish you the best. This will be my first and my last submission here, only because I know where I am and I am very aware the fallout from doing this but I feel like this is part of an even larger discussion than just Stygians: to lay groundwork in the future about artist rights, artist permissions, and art theft. Whether you like or hate Stygians, or like or hate adopts in general, I wish nobody no ill will. That's life, you have to take the good with the bad. I'm just here trying to protect 20+ artists and make a stand on why artists NEED to be protected, because so many of them work for pennies, and so many people are just small time artists just doing their best. I'll continue to hire new and returning guest artists for Stygians because again, its hard to get work in these trying times, and I hope other species continue this tradition as well! For those trying to make a new species, you can do it! Its tough work and it involves a lot of crying blood, and your first attempt may end up in failure, but if its a passion you believe in, I think its always possible. Ventures are 50% skill and 50% luck after all. 
Heya, Mushy here! Sorry about my delay in posting, I've been out all day with friends on a much-needed zoo excursion 😂
I am really sorry that all of this has happened. I really shouldn't have entertained the thought of posting the leaked designs. It's been awhile since I've bought something from a flatsale or auction due to not having had any money, but with what little I've saved, I was eager to get something finally, and being able to to participate in the next GA wave had me excited.
But the more I thought about it, I realized that it was incredibly disrespectful to the artists who have worked hard and haven't consented to having their work posted early, and decided against it. As a fellow hard-working artist myself, I am ashamed that I was about to act that selfishly just because of my own deer cravings. As much as I preach on here about breaking free of your cs chains, stygs really do have a death grip on me 😭
Again, I'm incredibly sorry. I love stygians and I love this group, and I'm sorry that I very nearly caused problems for people. I know the search feature on this blog is broke af, but the entire stygians tag on here is just filled with me gushing about them and other people saying nice things about em as well. No group is flawless, but stygs are pretty up there in terms of especially good species groups to be in, and I've loved all of my years with you guys, and I hope to have more.
2 notes · View notes
Note
This is the same count vertigo anon, and A) yes, i am disabled, and also i have a life outside of you, so i dont get why you’re upset I didn’t immediately respond and B) you are aware right that Vertigo has real comics? Im going to be blunt because you basing your version on YJ is ableist, because YJ is ableist about his character- in the comics he doesn’t even have a niece, he's an anti hero whose disabilities are very important to him. Dcuguide has them all up. Again, if you dont care, oc
Hey! I know you'll probably assume this is insincere, but it's good to hear from you again. And yeah, I kind of assumed there was character-identification aspect. I will say, I'm legitimately sorry if you felt attacked or that I was upset with you. Not at all upset with you personally, though I hope you can see what the situation is a little weird on my end, since I'm the one publicly answering asks from an anon who I have to take at their word is the same person. This is the only way I have of reaching you, the entire situation is on me, and I don't expect or need you to acknowledge that, but it's just the situation as it is. I'll live.
That said, I guess a few things: I don't know if you saw, but I did another update on Vertigo where I tried to address some of your concerns and address Werner's medical history and disabilities, as well as delve into a more anti-heroic perspectives on the character. I hope that shows that I heard you, no ill will, but also this is a big project with a lot of characters. Obviously not everyone's getting the same level of attention in every post.
As for the thing about Werner not having a niece: look, there's multiple versions of this character, multiple histories, multiple family trees. I get latching onto to specific version that speaks to you--that's kind of the point of my own project--but that doesn't invalidate every other version. Besides all that: the YJ version...has hearing aids? Again, I don't want you to feel attacked, or like we need to "out-nerd" each other or something, but the show does a lot of environmental storytelling with stuff like that, and he's clearly got hearing aids built in with the rest of the tech in his headbands. That said, it's vague enough where I see your point, so that's fair.
I guess in closing, I hope you feel better about all of this from what I've said and I'm sorry if you felt called out, but again: you're anon. I have no idea who you are. You started this interaction. If after all of this, you're still pissed at me and think I'm being ableist, I mean...just block me? I guess as one caveat, I'll try not to tag the AU version as Werner specifically in the future regardless of whether I hear from you again
2 notes · View notes
bansheeoftheforest · 3 years
Note
Are you feeling any better today?
I have only cried like 3-5 times today so technically yes <3
11 notes · View notes
catboyfurina · 4 years
Note
that's not what being an empath means... it means feeling other people's joys and sufferings as if they were happening to you as well, not because u know EXACTLY what goes on on their head or their precise feelings but the thought of them suffering a loss or having a big success can impact ur life as if they were happening to you too
But the thing is you DONT feel other people's joys or sufferings as if they were happening to you!!! Your feelings are only mimicking what you ASSUME theirs are. And there are a lot of types of suffering that can't be felt unless it's happened to you too cus you just don't know shit about it and by saying you are suffering their pain it's like.... Super rude imo because you aren't. You're just feeling an imitation of the best guess you have for it.
#query#i dont mean to be mean anon but i am not entirely concerned with being nice#also gonna be real with u#it does not impact you as if it were happening to you either.#you wont get ptsd from your friends abuse#it will make you sad and it will make ypu feel helpless but at the end of the day you need to prioritize them#because however much your brain is imagining what if that were me and trying to mimic their suffering#you need to be aware that you will not understand the depth of their pain#and quite frankly ive seen people use their oh im just too much of an empath schtick to make the person in pain feel guilty#for being in pain because theyre 'hurting' the 'empath'#in conclusion. the idea that you Can feel someone elses pain or be impacted by their suffering is at best#self centered and presumptuous and at worst you are harming people#i acknowledge that the whole your brain is mimicking pain when you see other people in pain thing is real and uncontrollable but like#you do have to remember that it isnt their pain and that you actually have no idea whats going on and also that your imitation pain can and#should be ignored because it is just an imitation and the person who is really hurting is the one who needs to be helped#and also that your imitation pain is nowhere near as painful as the actual thing etc etc#and also that having your brain imitate pain isnt moral superiority cus the anti empathy as a concept#posting happened cus people are like really cruel to low empathy people
15 notes · View notes
i-cant-sing · 3 years
Note
I wonder what would happen if Y/N had a really bad day and just decided to pick a sibling from the Yan!Todoroki clan like a cat would pick its person and just?? Sit in their lap?? They'd say 'I had a terrible day, no torture today please' before taking their well-deserved nap lookin' all cute and peaceful. Then the sibling would be so proud and confused at the same time but really really happy like 'omg for real? Me? What's happening?? 🥺'. Bonus points if it's Dabi just having the widest grin on his face while staring straight at the rest of the fam seething with jealousy.
I saw your works btw and been inhalin em all cause they're all so good *chef's kiss*
-Vibin' anon
Yandere Dabi comforting sister reader
This is so cute omg. Thank u Vibin anon!
Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Yandere Dabi:
Shotou had come to pick you up from school today. Even though he had a busy schedule himself, he still made time for you, just like the rest if your family.
"How was school?" He asked.
"Fine."
"Just fine? Wasn't your result supposed to come today?"
You nodded. "It did. I passed."
Shotoy smiled. "Thats great. Did you get your report card?"
You knew he was going to ask for it. You also knew that he already knew what grades you got.
You nodded and handed him the report card from your bag.
Shotou's face lit up when he saw your grades.
"You're first again. I'm so proud of you." He patted your head.
You smiled. "Thanks."
By the time you guys reached home, you already knew that your entire family was home. They always were when your result came. You knew the principal had already informed Enji of your grades, she always does.
When you entered the house, your family yelled "surprise!" You feigned shock as they hugged you and congratulated you on your achievement.
Rei had prepared a little feast for you, everything was made from scratch. Enji was beaming with joy, he was so proud of his little girl. Rei had made your favourite cake, kissing your cheek as you cut it. Enji had gotten you beautiful diamond necklace. Natsuo, Shotou and Fuyumi had gotten you some gifts as well, stuff you had vaguely mentioned about. Dabi wasn't home, but you didn't mind his absence.
Your family had planned to spend the night on the couch cuddling and doing a movie marathon, but when you asked them to excuse you for the night because you were feeling tired, they became a but worried. You reassured them that you just had a long day at school as well, and now that you were stuffed with Rei's delicious food, sleep was inevitable. They nodded, a bit sad that you wouldn't be joining, but understanding nonetheless.
You went up the stairs to your room, and as soon as you closed the door, the smile you had been displaying all night was wiped off.
You sat on your bed and recalled the events of the day. Tears pricked your eyes, but you kept yourself quiet. They're not worthy crying over, you reminded yourself. Still, you couldn't help but crumple up your report card and throw it in the dustbin.
Silent tears fell from your eyes, no longer being able to hold them in. God, its infuriating.
Suddenly, you heard someone knock on your bedroom door. You looked at the clock. 12 am.
Its Dabi.
You couldn't deal with him tonight. You remained silent, hoping he'd leave you alone.
But of course not.
You quickly turned away from the door as soon as you heard it open. Wiping your tears quickly, you heard Dabi come in.
"You brat. Why didn't you answer when I knocked?" He asked, pushing the door close with his foot.
"Leave me alone, Dabi." You were trying hard to stabilise your voice.
"Huh?! Is that anyway to talk to your favourite brother?" Dabi mocked as he pulled at your ponytail. You yelped before turning around to push him away.
Dabi was about to laugh at you when he suddenly noticed the your face. Your eyes were full of tears, lashes heavy with them. Your face was flush, your nostrils flared, your lips in a pulled in a tight scowl. Had you been crying? Or did he make you cry?
"Hey, I'm sorry-"
"Just leave me alone." You said as you angrily wiped the tears from your face.
Dabi was shocked to see you like this. He had never seen you cry, not even when he took his teasing a little too far. So, to see you react like this, it worried him a bit.
"Have you been crying? What's the matter? Did you fail or something?" His voice actually held some concern.
You shook your head, pulling your ponytail loose. "Its nothing. Just leave."
Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. What happened? He plopped down on your bed next to you. "Come on. Tell me." He poked your shoulder. "You know I won't leave until you tell me."
"Its nothing, really." You sniffled, avoiding his gaze.
"Did Enji say something?" Dabi asked, his voice taking a dangerous tone. "Look at me. Did he do something?" He's going to kill that bastard if he-
"What? No. God, just go."
Dabi let out a huff. He'll have to use another strategy. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'll just tell Shotou you have been crying, and then you can answer to him."
Shotou? God, he would just overthink everything and do something stupid.
You caught his wrist just as he was about to leave. "Do you have to be such a jerk every single day?" You glared daggers at him.
Dabi smirked before pulling his wrist away and plopping on the bed next to you. "Yes. Big brother privileges." He poked your cheek. "Now spill."
You looked at him, hoping he'd just get blasted magically. Idiot.
You inhaled deeply before closing your eyes. "Its stupid, really." Dabi stared at you, signalling for you to continue. "Something... happened at school." You paused. "Just a couple of assholes."
Dabi was attentive now. "Go on."
You looked down at your lap, playing with your fingers. "Some kids in my class... they said mean things about me."
"Bullying?" Dabi quirked an eyebrow.
You shook your head. "I- I don't think so. They just said that I only get the highest grade in class because of my dad. Like Enji bribes the school into giving me good marks." You sniffled. "They undermine me. They say I'm not good enough to be in their school, and that the only reason I got in was because of my surname."
Tears dripped down your face slowly, almost as if they were ashamed to fall.
You wiped them away harshly. "And it doesn't matter what I say. I've tried to befriend them, I've tried to get along with them, but they still ridicule me. Its frustrating. They... they don't understand that my only option is to be the best." You whispered the last part, but Dabi heard you loud and clear.
He sat up and gently gripped your chin, turning your face towards him as he narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean 'its your only option'?"
You rolled your eyes. "You know what I mean. I know that no one in the family cares if I get the highest marks or not but...I still have to live up to the family name. What will people say if the number 1 hero's kid is both quirkless and dumb?" Your lips wobbled.
Oh. Ohhhh.
You don't want to let down the Todoroki name; you don't want to let down Enji.
He already knew it was that shithead's fault.
Dabi sighed before pulling you close to him. Placing an arm around your shoulders while his other hand wiped your tears away.
Wanting to prove your worth, that you're a valuable asset to the family. Dabi never thought he'd see himself in you, or his younger self really.
"You're an idiot." Dabi began, carding his fingers through your hair. "You don't have to be the best. You're not expected to. You know, the family knows, hell even I know how hard you worked to get in that school. I've seen how you'd do all nighters, how many times you've turned down going out so that you could do well in your exams. But you don't have to do that." He tilted your chin up, staring into your glossy eyes. "We don't care what the public thinks of us. We won't care if you fail. We don't care you're quirkless. You're not expected to be anything but a good girl." He squished your cheeks together, making you look like a fish. "You just need to be safe. Do you understand?"
You sniffled as you nodded. "Yes. Thank you."
Dabi smiled. "Why didn't you tell anyone before?" You shrugged in response. "You know what would've happened if I said anything. They're already hesitant to let me go to school, this would just give them another reason to homeschool me. Besides, I didn't let their words get to me before, so it really wasn't a big deal." Before? You were about to continue but then kept your mouth shut. But Dabi saw that. He pulled you away from him, his eyes turning sharp as he raised his eyebrows. "But something else happened today as well?"
You averted his scrutinising gaze, keeping your lips sealed as you shook your head no. "Do not lie to me. Or I'll tell Shotou and Enji and then they can handle-"
Your eyes widened. "Do you ever stop making threats?" Rolling your eyes, you told him what happened. "It wasn't anything serious. One of those jerks... thought it'd be funny to try and kiss me. When he tried to force me, I slapped him. Really hard. My handprint still on his face." You smiled at that. "He said the only reason he wasn't using his quirk on me was because I was Todorokis charity case. Then he said that I should be grateful that he was going to kiss me, especially since no one cares about a quirkless, frigid bitch like me." You let out a humourless laugh, but Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. You gave a small smile. "Dont worry. I already know what they said isn't true."
Thats it.
Dabi was already planning murder. He's going to make those little shits pay for what they did to you. The nerve to not only bully you, but make you cry, and then touch you? Dabi is gonna make sure they get tortured in every way possible before he incinerates them-
"Dabi?"
Your soft voice pulled him out of his violent thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"Can you... stay the night?"
He looked at your tear stricken face, your eyes were still laden with tear drops, your nose red from all the sniffling.
How could he say no to you? You looked ugly.
"Its okay. You don't have to-" you were cut off by a pillow hitting your face.
"Move over, brat." He climbed in the bed with you, covering you both with the blanket. "And don't put your cold feet on mine." You smiled cheekily at that.
"Don't hog the blanket- why do you need it anyway?"you yanked the blanket.
Dabi pushed another pillow on your face, laughing as you punched his shoulder. "You're insufferable."you mumbled.
It took a while to get comfortable on your single bed, but it ended up with your head on his chest, while Dabi propped himself against the headboard.
"Thank you." You whispered.
Dabi hummed. "Dont think I don't know why you're doing this."
You smiled softly. He caught on to why you were keeping him home that night; you knew he would do something terrible to those guys. "Promise me you won't hurt them?"
Dabi remained silent. You pulled your head away to look up at him. "Dabi. Promise."
When he didn't reply, tears started forming your eyes. He sighed, before shoving your face back into his chest. "Fine, crybaby. I won't hurt them. Promise." You're such a brat, stopping him from doing his big brother duties.
You went back to snuggling him, not taking long for you to finally go to sleep. Once Dabi made sure you were asleep, he pulled out his phone and texted Toga.
"Need a favour. Up 4 stabbing?"
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes