#i dont mean to laugh but like???????🤣 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tongue-like-a-razor · 1 year

Note

Imagine when the dagger squad first initially met at the hard deck Jake's wife noticed Bob first and is like "your my son now" and she tells jake their gonna parents and jake is excited to be a dad and javy is excited to be an uncle and she just introduces Bob as her son and everyone is like ???????? And jake is like so your not pregnant.....guess I better change that.

And on trainings Bob tells on jake to Mrs. Seresin everytime Jake teases him and she's like dont be mean to our son now apologize to our son right now😤😠😠 and she threatens him with a month of no sex if he doesn't apologize to Bob

Lollll okay but, just remember, you asked for this 🤣🤣

Practice Baby

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Wife!Reader

Summary: Jake Seresin's wife plays a joke on her husband and it backfires.

CW: This is very tongue in cheek. Swearing, mentions of adoption, pregnancy, it gets a little weird.

"You’re so cute, I just want to adopt you," you coo, pinching Bob’s cheek affectionately.

Bob grins at you. "You can adopt me. I mean, I have parents, but you can still adopt me. I wouldn’t mind coming over for some home cooked meals now and then."

"Aww," you say. "Anytime, sweetie."

"Amazing. Can I invite some friends over?" He laughs.

You give him a pointed look. "Maybe when you’re finished your homework."

At that moment, your husband walks into the pub with his buddy. When they spot you at the bar, they start heading in your direction.

"Fuck," Bob mutters. "I forgot who my dad would be."

You giggle. "He might be a little rough around the edges, but he’s a big softie when you get to know him."

"Not really keen on getting to know him," Bob retorts just as Jake and Coyote arrive.

Jake slips a hand around your waist and lowers his head to bring his lips to your ear. "You have no business being so fucking hot, Mrs. Seresin," he murmurs with a smirk.

You glance up at him with a smile. "I have some news, babe," you say.

Bob makes a whining sound and Jake flinches. "Jesus, Bob, when did you get here?"

Bob grimaces. "Been here the whole time."

"Really?" Jake furrows his eyebrows at him suspiciously.

You roll your eyes. "How do you feel about being a dad?" you ask with a completely straight face.

Jake turns to look at you with a stunned expression. His eyes are so wide, they look comical. He takes your face in his hands and brings it right up to his own. "Baby," he whispers. "Are you pregnant?"

You bite your lip, realizing you might've taken the joke too far. You hadn't expected Jake to react like this, and now you feel kind of bad. Jake has always seemed very neutral toward the prospect of children. So, you didn't, even for a second, consider that he might be excited to be a father. "Uhh," you utter slowly.

"I'm going to be an uncle?" Coyote pipes in excitedly.

Your eyes slide to look over Jake's shoulder, but Jake brings his face even closer to yours to redirect your attention. You wince, reaching to your side to pick up Bob's hand. You wave it sheepishly while Jake takes a minor step back and glances between the two of you questioningly. "Meet our son," you say with a nervous laugh.

Jake watches you with an unimpressed expression. Coyote narrows his eyes, blinking profusely. He's still trying to wrap his head around the situation. "What?" he says in confusion.

"Okay," you say, dropping Bob's hand. "You guys killed the joke. Congratulations."

Jake's mouth curls slightly upward. "Joke's on you, because I'm gonna put a baby in you."

You raise your eyebrows at him.

"It's your own damn fault," he says. "You put the idea in my head."

"But, we have Bob." You gesture toward the man to your right who doesn't quite know how to respond.

Jake grins at you and then at Bob. "We'll get him an, 'I'm going to be a Big Brother' t-shirt."

...

A month later, you meet your husband and his squad at the Hard Deck. You walk right up to Jake and smack his shoulder.

"Ow!" Jake yells. "What was that for, woman?"

"You called our son a bonehead?!" you shout at the top of your lungs.

Jake looks around to see the other patrons watching you. "Not a real son," he clarifies for the spectators. He rises from his seat and mutters in a low tone, "You're making me look bad, honey."

You give him a flat look. "You are bad!"

"It's all in good fun, this is how they learn," Jake says. "I'm just teaching him to grow a backbone like any good father should. Next week, I'm planning on taking him to his first kegger."

"Be nice to our practice baby," you say.

Jake puts his arms around you and leans his head on yours. "You're so weird, sweetheart," he mutters into your temple. "I love it."

"I'm being serious," you say. "If I hear him complain one more time, there will no sex for a month."

Jake gives you a pointed look, trying to hold back a laugh. "We're just going to have to teach our little Bob to stop tattling now, won't we?"

"Bob's not the problem."

Jake nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. "Sugar, let me get you a drink," he mutters, kissing your shoulder repeatedly while he runs his hands up and down your arms. "You seem a little on edge."

"Don't patronize me!"

Jake lifts his head and gives you a serious look. "Are you okay?"

You nod. "Just don't do it again," you say.

"I won't," he promises. "What are you drinking?"

You give him a sheepish look and purse your lips. "I'm not," you respond.

Jake stares at you in shock. "Are you fucking with me?"

You gulp awkwardly, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. You shake your head, sort of terrified to see how he will react after your tumultuous trial run with Bob.

Jake lets out a bewildered breath and then he pulls you in for a kiss, his arms winding around your back as he presses you into the table in behind.

"People are eating here," you hear Coyote complain.

Jake ignores him, continuing to kiss you feverishly. "I'm gonna be a dad," he mutters against your lips with a smile.

"I mean, you already are," you reason.

Jake chuckles, his hands caressing your waist. "Coyote!" he says, turning to look at him sternly.

Coyote looks up from his burger jadedly.

"I'm gonna need a car seat," Jake says proudly.

Coyote wrinkles his eyebrows. "For Bob?"

You snicker while Jake glances back at you with a thoughtful expression. "Car seats work for planes too, right?"

"Don't even think about it," you respond threateningly.

Jake grins. "You're right," he says. "You know, Mav and Rooster have this cute little motto. It goes: 'Don't think, just do.'"

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writingoddess1125 · 5 months

Text

Deal with the Devil

This is honestly just a Comedy no idea what this is 🤣

GNReader x AU Demon Buggy

Art Belongs to Vamos_MK on Twitter!

If you like Click Here <-

"You Fucking Asshole!" (Y/N) screamed, Tossing their phone across the room as you stood there.

Your Rotten Bastard of a Boyfriend- Best to say Ex now!

You'd done everything for him.. wrote his resume, got him job interviews, washed his crusty underwear!

He had wrecked your apartment, drained your saving all for what? The hope of God damn magic!

Yes Fucking magic-

He was a pinterest board having Half ass 'Witch' that claimed he was of a Witch blood line.

Maybe it was that Witch bloodline that lead him to stick his dick in some random as twink at the Bar!

"Fuck You!" You screamed in the air, sobbing as you rushed to your liquor cabinet- It wasn't like you had much but you grabbed the quarter bottle of vodka and the rum. It would do-

Playing terrible break up music you drank away your sorrows- Sobbing hysterically into your carpeted livingroom floor as you finished the vodka, You tossing the empty bottle across the room causing it to shatter.

Stumbling up, you waddle to the kitchen- in state deciding a cup was finally smart-

In you drunken stooper you grabbed a 711 cup from the counter wanting to pour more booze in it- but pausing when you saw it. Your EX's book of shadows- Aka a Dollar Tree Notebook were he stashed his stupid spells and random pages he pirated from the internet. Picking it up and getting ready to throw it in the trash with the rest of your EX's shit when you finally sober up-

But opened it randomly seeing a folded up peice of paper tucked I to the sides. Rolling your eyes you open it and see a well worn page, however it wasn't ancient by any means- the witches.com emblem in the corner cluing you in to that. But in big bold letters on the top said 'SUMMON A DEMON TO DO YOUR BIDDING!' Easy how to guide.

Fuck it- What did you have to lose! Your drunken hazy mind reasoned. Flicking the Dollar Tree book to an random page and tossing it down on the coffee table-

Looking through you saw the ingredients needed. Food, A liquid, lighter, a Vessel and DNA. Chuckling at the rather basic guide you plopped down and poured off a quarter of your bottle of Rum in the 711 cup-

"We recommend 'moon water'- Welp you're getting Captian Morgan-" You laugh as you pour more of the rum into your mouth, hissing at its burn as you look at the next instructions.

"Alright food- We recommend a herb or item you have a dee- fuck that" You grumble looking around and seeing some leftovers from the corner store. Taking the stale hotdog that had been on your table far too long.

"Fuck it- A hotdog will do" You said with a cackle as you shoved it into the cup without care.

"Now play music to set your intent-" You read, Laughing at the weirdness of this all.

"Music huh! Then we shall play the song of my God damn love life!"

With a crying laugh, you opening up your music app and playing what felt appropriate- Circus Music.

"Now last add DNA- May it be hair, Blood, nails. Ha! Yeah right. Got your DNA right here-" You say and spit into the 711 cup like a redneck spitting chew.

(DONT DO THIS AT HOME) after this you look at the instructions- 'Light the alcohol on fire and focus on your intentions' Pulling a lighter out you set the alcohol ablaze and sat there letting the circus music and smell of burning plastic and hotdogs fill your senses.

'I want to get fucked up and beat up a fucking loser!-' Was the only thing you thought before starting to feel yourself starting to black out. Not noticing the flames beginning to burn a bright blue as the shadows of the room wirled around you and took a solid mass.

Soon a shadowy figure eclipsed your form as a the smell of candy apples filled the room.

"HOW ARE YOU SUMMON THE GREAT AND MIGHTY BUGGY THE CLOWN DE-...." He stopped during his monolog and stared at his summoner- passed out on the couch infront of the coffee table while holding the now out lighter used to summon him and a half burned plastic cup, slouched over in a clearly drunken stooper and groaning loudly from discomfort. Waving his hand it detached and tossed the dirty cup into the sink noting the piles of moldy dishes that stopped the fire- Buggy glanced around now, noticing the dirty apartment and disgusting everything of the place.

He cringed at the sight- Looking to you and shaking your shoulder to catch your attention.

"Oi- You. Please tell me you aren't the fucker who summoned me-" He begged, watching you roll your head around confused stating up at the man before you. He wore what looked like a pirate get up- with a bright cherry nose and bright blue hair that reminded you of the sea-

You opened your mouth, prepared to tell this dude to get out of your house- Before that oh so familiar feeling hit you and you puked all over his pants and shoes in a aray of alcohol and chips.

The man giving a short scream at this as he stood there petrified.

"I'm sorry-" You managed before passing out. Leaving the clown standing there with a look of total disgust on his face as he stared at the fresh vomit all over him.

"YOUVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

#x reader #one piece #one peice x reader #one peice live action #buggy one piece #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #demon au #Demon Buggy #Spotify

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kika-writes · 7 days

Text

the flip - m.v

Warnings: death jokes, sex jokes, swearing

Pairing: Max Verstappen x fem!reader

A/N - this technically ain’t a fic

Super Max 🦁 - Hello wife 👋

Y/N - I am not your wife

Super Max 🦁- Hello girlfriend 😨

Y/N - I am not your girlfriend

Super Max 🦁 - Hello friend 😨😰

Y/N - I am not your friend

Super Max 🦁- Hello stranger 😨😰😥

Y/N - who is this

Super Max 🦁 - you know who I am 😡😡😡😡

Y/N - no I dont

Super Max 🦁 - okay complete stranger, what’s ur ops on me dating this rlly fit girl. He’s names like Y/N or smthn 🙄🙄

Y/N - you can’t date her

Super Max 🦁 - why the flip not

Y/N - im dating her

Super Max 🦁 - hm is that so? so where’s y/n and also wyw for dinner

Y/N - busy

Super Max 🦁- say “JKJK ILY MAX” rn baby 🙏😍

Y/N - she busy bro

Super Max 🦁- ask her what she wants for dinner tf

Y/N - she wants my dick

Super Max 🦁- toothpicks aren’t edible last time I checked

Y/N - 💀💀💀💀💀💀 u weren’t concerned I could be cheating, instead more concerned about dinner, wow 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Super Max 🦁- you??? cheat??? bitch bfr ur ass obsessed w me she lyin chat, the flip?!

Y/N - everyone point and laugh 🫵🤣. he thinks I like him 💀💀💀

Super Max 🦁- then leave me 😣😔😖, I mean nothing 😣😔😖, FUCK ANOTHER MAN 😔😣😖

Y/N - next thing you know, me and charles gonna be gang gang fr

Super Max 🦁- more like gang bang 💀💀💀

Y/N - blocked

Super Max 🦁- actually???

Y/N - yes

Super Max 🦁 - actually???

Y/N - yeah?

Super Max 🦁 - actually???

Y/N has blocked Max Verstappen

Y/N has unblocked Max Verstappen

Y/N - come back 🥺🥺🥺

Super Max 🦁- lets be gang gang

Y/N - fr

#max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #mav verstappen #f1 text au #max Verstappen text au #angst #f1 #red bull #rbr #Red bull racing

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chrissturniolosbitch · 3 months

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fic idea !!

reader thinks chris is cheating in her but finds out he isn’t, then he comforts her and makes it up to her😏😏😏😏😏

YOURS TRULY

a/n: this was requested by my baby KATIEEE

summary: y/n thinks chris is cheating on her but when she finds out he isn't then he makes it up to her.

warnings: hate, angst, smutty smut, language, and sex.

--------------------------------------------------------

Chris has always told me to ignore the hate comments, and his fans that 'dont like me.'

He tells me that there just 'jealous' and that 'they want to be you.'

I never felt this way tho.

Yesterday nick asked me if i wanted to be in this fridays instagram photo dump, "sure!" i said happily.

tonight I was going through the comments that we posted on the insta post. I scrolled the whole way down.

'why the fuck is she here?'

'shes tryna steal my man huh?'

none of these comments bothered me alot, but there was on particular comment that really got to me...

'i hope she knows chris is cheating on her ugly ass🤣'

8,391 likes?

'i knew he was cheating on me.' i thought to myself. God im so fucking stupid. I shouldve known.

Why would a man like chris want to be with a girl like me y/n?

tears started to form in my eyes, and my throat started hurting.

I got up from the couch, and started to walk down the steps to chris' room.

When i got there i knocked on the door, "come in!" he yelled loud enough for me to here. I opened the door and the tears from my eyes started falling.

"Baby?" he said getting up from his bed running over to me, "whats wrong y/n? talk to me mama?" he said caressing my cheek, and grabbing my jaw forcing me to look at him, "a-are you cheating on me chris?" i said hesitant.

He looked at me for a good 10 seconds before he started speaking, "why would you ever think that y/n." he said furrowing his brows. More tears started falling down my cheeks.

chris finally put 2-and-2 together.

"you fucking believe them?" he said chuckling at his remark, "w-what?" i said looking up at him wiping the tears fron my face, "you believe those bitch ass kids in our comment section?" he said pulling me to his bed, sitting me down.

"no chris, i mean. Yes?" i said playing with the rings on my fingers, "here" he said handing me his phone. I looked up at him confused.

"cmon take it" he said waving his phone at me.I grabbed his phone, and looked back up at him.

i already knew the password so I opened it, and started going through his stuff.

messages✅

snap✅

instagram✅

photos✅

I shut his phone off, and looked up at him. He had one hand on his hip with a smug look on his face, "see baby. Youre the only girl i want." he said smiling at me.

I starting laughing at chris, and myself. Why would i believe anything his 'fans' say half of them fantasize about him anyways?

"c'mere" he said laying down beside me practically in the middle of the bed patting his lap. I turned over and straddled him.

"let me make it up to you." he said flipping us over. I felt the familiar heat start to grow in between my legs, "lets get to work then" i said. As soon as those words left my mouth he started kissing me

When he got down my neck, and too my chest he tugged at my shirt. I nooded. He pulled my shirt off, "no bra huh?" he said smirking. I shook my head giggling at his comments.

He started kissing my chest grabbing my left boob, taking my nipple into his mouth, i moaned loudly at his action. He suddenly put his hand over my face detaching his mouth from my tit, "shh baby, you dont want anyone to hear us." he said reattaching himself to me.

I nodded and closed my eyes.

He moved over to my right boob and showed it the same amount of love he showed the other.

moving on from my chest, down my stomach causing butterflies to float in it, and to my aching heat.

"may i?" he said looking at me with doe eyes, "please chris, fuck" I said bucking up my hips waiting impatiently for him to touch me.

He pulled my pants, and lace white panties off in one swift moment I shivered at the cold touch on my now bare body.

Chris immediately started eating me out like i was his last meal. I arched my back, and dug my hands in his hair moaning quietly, he groaned at my taste, "fuck mama you tase so good" he said diving back in for more.

He started tongue fucking me, swirling his tongue around my clit, and folds.

I felt a familiar knot forming in my stomach, "chris im gonna- fuck im gonna cum" i said pulling harder on his hair, "go ahead baby, cum on my face." he said circling his tongue faster than ever over me.

waves of pleasure washing over me. The knot in my stomach begging to be untied.

Chris sure did know how to work his tongue because in one swift moment i was releasing all over chris' face, and tongue.

"fuck baby" he said as he began licking my cunt clean, i bucked my hips at the sensitivity, "i know baby im sorry" he said as he ran to the bathroom grabbing a wash cloth.

He started wiping me up. When he was done he grabbed me panties, and a fresh love crewneck to put on.

"baby" i said tired, "i wanna make you feel good too." i said as my eyes starting closing, "theres always tomorrow" he said chuckling, as he layed beside me, "plus tonight was supposed to be for you my love" he kissed my cheek, and lips.

"thank you chris, for always making me feel good. Not just sexually" he laughed at my statement, "but mentally. You mean so much to me baby i love you." i said giggling at him.

"thats what im here for right" he pulled me into him spooning me.

We kissed on last time before we fell asleep.

--------------------------------------------------------

rq by: ( @kvtie444 )

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Note

I have so many ideas but none of them can be put into words, all I can do is just wheeze as they come along🤣

Also remember how wordy and flowery Teyvat speech/dialogue is? ADD THAT TO THE FACT THAT TEYVAT HAS ITS OWN LANGUAGE---

Reader can understand the basic speech which is why they are so blunt (I love this idea so much 🤣) and can piece together an idea what the person is talking about.

*insert random person talking about a commission with a long ass backstory*

Traveller & Co.: *understands completely and making plans to retrieve said commission*

C!Reader: (They said they had a cart.... a bunch of hilichurls appeared... dancing?.... they want us to dance fight the hilichurls???? Dance off???)

Actual story->The person's cart got ambushed by a group of hilichurls and taunted them by dancing around it.

....... it doesnt always translate well

Also imagine Reader heaeing random names and overthinks it as a word instead of a name.

Example: Pantalone means pants in Philippine English (sorry not sorry Pantalone)

Tsaritsa??? Oh do they speak russian there??? - reader

Capitano -> captain in some countries

(I once mistake Sandrone as Sandalone and I just went "... ehh??? Standalone? Sandalone as in Sand Alone???? Sandal (Flip flops)????

Oh wait its Sandrone" ".... as in Sand and Drone??--)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM ANON MY BELOVED 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜✨️✨️

Gif is me writing u anything ever:

AHFLALA FERRRALLL I STG I ALSO THOUGHT ABT THIS!! WHY U COULD ALSO BE BLUNT BC U ONLY GOT THE BASICS 💀 RIP

Man theyre written language looks so scary to learn, kinda like when I looked into trying to learn Mandarin/Japanese (and even Korean), the letters r just inherently so different i was so intimidated

And u dont even read it like left -> right like English

Omg i tried to reply to a arabic comment on my art post once, and i felt so acommplished when i finally was able to type "اشكرك (thanks)" but like, i had to put it on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TEXT BOX, LIKE ALIGN IT TO THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HOW U KNOW ENGLISH IS INHERENTLY ALIGNED LEFT, IT WAS SO TRIPPY-

Going thru genshin life only understanding minimal words of anything anyone says is honestly how i feel like ive been playing Genshin LMAO

Those analysis videos/lore are saving a bitch's life out here

PANTALONE IS ALSO RLLY CLOSE TO SPANISH FOR PANTS I KNOW WHAT U MEANNN LOL

UR ENDLESS CONFUSION FOR SANDRONE PLEASE ANON U DIDNT EVEN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST CORRECTION IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSEEE 😂😭 SAME THO

That would literally be you in genshin tho, like i could easily see it being like, back to back misunderstandings 😭😭

Like u think u got it right (Oh so his name is Rex Lapis, wait what? Morax? Ok his name is Morax...?? What??? Zhongli??? WHO IS THIS MAN-)

JFC first they gotta have a whole different language (like u saw in game)

And ON TOP OF THAT THEY CAN TALK FOR 10 MIN STRAIGHT ABT THE WEATHER OR SOME SHIT??

No... just, no.

U quickly decide u like what little bits of language u could pick up so far, which just results in,

U guessed it, simple speech and short fragmented sentences (or broken Teyvatian)

U cant even bring urself to care when u give half the characters a heart attack and send the rest into laughing fits

No fucks given, they wanna make this extra hard on u by being wordy on top of a new language,

Yeah u dont care what comes out of ur mouth anymore

Also, since everybody is raised in Teyvat very few ppl dont know the language, which once again brings us back to ancient/older deities/creatures who have a more simplistic version/outdated version of modern language

Omg getting stuff mistranslated bc u cant understand it all/only keywords sounds like hell but also rlly funny

Traveler/Paimon: "Alright, yes, all is well. We will accept this comission, and depart soon."

You: "...they want us to?? Dance fight?? Hilichurls...???"

Traveler just stares at u half in pity, half trying to hide their amused smile, Paimon is giggling

The commissioner is shook bc a supposed ancient creature?? Just accepted?? Their simple commission?? And u think they want u to dance battle???

PLEASE U MISTRANSLATE THE HARBINGERS NAMES RIGHT TO THEIR FACES

Signora: "You shall rue the day you crossed the Fatui mortals!"

You: "Lady we don't care, just fight us."

(Signora just means 'Lady')

Signora: *offended gasp*

Traveler/Paimon trying to stifle laughter

Raiden Shogun jaw dropped a little

Pantalone: "What a pleasure to finally meet you traveler, and thine wonderful companions!" *little bastard smile*

You: "And it was awful to meet you, Pants."

Pantalone: 😶😧😡 "Pants?! HOW DARE YOU NOT EVEN GIVE ME THE MOST BASE RESPECT, AFTER I GREETED THEE SO KINDLY-"

Oh its so funny, everytime you talk about Childe you always phrase it like he's an actual child bc u thought everyone was just calling him a little kid for some reason (u dont know how Teyvat ages work, he could be for all you know!)

Not very long, but Vine Boom anon your brain >>>>

Ur ideas r so on point, i love them sm

That makes perfect sense why u could be talking blunt too, like an in world explanation really

For you, all the desserts🥰 🤲🍪🍨🍰🍮🧋🍦🍡

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

#vine boom anon ilysm #yall r so funny i cant keep up help #big brain anons #genshin impact #ask box open #genshin sagau #my asks #sagau #genshin sagau ideas #gender neutral reader #genshin imagines #please send asks #:)#<3 #genshin isekai #genshin god reader

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marunalu · 9 months

Note

Bkdk is canon bitch, there's a new cover to proof it

Oh? I guess you mean this picture here, right?

What a coincidence that shouto is also on the picture and has his hand on izukus shoulder, I guess that means tododeku is confirmed canon now too! 🤔

So tell me what exactly about this picture confirms bkdk as canon, espicially since shoto is also there? Dont tell me, its because izuku and bakugou are standig side by side or because you are one of these idiots who believes izuku pulling bakugou by his tie to make him look into "the camera" like he and shoto do means he has romantic feelings for him?!🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

If that isnt the cover you are talking about, dont shy away from sending the right one to me, I want something to laugh at. And next time have at least enough balls to not go anon you pathetic coward! 💋

So and even if izuku pulls bakugou by his tie (by literally trying to make him look into the camera izuku EVEN IS POINTING TO), do you want to know some great news in return? That both bakugou and izuku debunked any kind of romantic bkdk a long time before this cover even came out, in one of the light novels which are canon.

In said light novel todoroki asks bakugou why he and izuku dont get along despite knowing each other for so long and bakugou replies with: "just because you know someone for a long time, doesnt mean you get along" and right afterwards he compares his relationship with izuku with the one between shoto and HIS ABUSIVE FATHER!!!! Duuuuhhhhhh!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And izuku replies with that he cant even call bakugou a "childhood friend" since bakugou always treated him like shit!!! Do you SERIOUSLY believe that horikoshi will let his main character end up with the guy who abused him for 12 YEARS in a manga directed at 9-13 year old boys?! In a country that sees homosexuality still as something shameful and dirty and whos government keeps a strict eye on everything related to it?! At this point thats just wishful thinking and even the bkdk shippers in japan (who are for the most part adult woman this manga isnt even directed to) know it has no chance for ending up canon 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And here is an other nice fact: two years or so ago there was a bkdk fanart contest with a lot of fanarts who showed bakugou and izuku in a romantic light and do you want to know how horikoshi reacted to that? While he praised the talents of the artists he made clear that THIS is NOT what bakugous and izukus relationship is like (romantic)! Man, it must really suck if even the author debunks your disgusting toxic ass ship and makes clear how problematic their whole relationship is!

And how mature of you, calling a person you dont even know a "bitch" just because that person doesnt like your ship which has ZERO chance of ending up canon anyway! Get a life, touch some grass and maybe stop fantasize about two teenagers fucking each other!

#bnha #anti bakudeku #anti bkdk #anti bakugou #anti katsuki bakugou #what a clown #and bkdk shippers really wonder why the rest of the fandom doesnt like them

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itsyourstarboy · 1 year

Text

Streamer!Honey Headcanons Pt.5

First Part

AT LONG LAST.... THE STREAMER!HONEY HEADCANONS FINALE

Note: This may be the last part, but it is not the end of Streamer!Honey!!! Just the long-winded headcanon posts. I have more planned for the future ^^ mini-fics, shitposts, all sorts of shenanigans <3

—

The punch became a meme. Honey hates it, and Guy hates that Honey hates it.

But god if it isn’t hilarious.

It took a good few months for Honey to stop beating themself up over it, and now they are able to look back on it and laugh. They even have a GIF of the moment as an alert for gifted subs.

—

Charity streams!!! Honey loves doing them. It’s fun, and for a good cause.

And, though it’s fun, sometimes it can get out of hand.

It was meant to be a joke! But, before they knew it, they hit the donation goal...

♡♡♡♡♡♡

HFDJSFEJGGFJSK

IM FREAKING OUT

CANTWAITCANTWAITCANTWAIT

I can’t believe they’re actually doing this 🤭🤭🤭

I DONT KNOW IF MY GAY LITTLE HEART WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT

The sound of the door opening made chat go mostly still.

Honey, very reluctantly with an embarrassed scowl on their face, stepped into camera view.

They stood stiffly, pondering how they ended up here. Here, on stream, in front of thousands of perfect strangers...

Wearing a maid outfit.

Not even a comfortable one! It was frilly, and itchy, and the skirt was way too fucking short.

OMFGNO I FCKING CANT-

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I CANT BREATHE

OH MY GOOOOOOOD

You look so cute!!!

THIS WAS SO WORTH THE MONEY

IM WHEEZING AND I CANT FIND MY INHALERR

HSGJJFHZJAHHAHAHAH

Oh 😳😳

WHY IT LOOK KINDA GOOD THO??

[HONEY’S] TOO HOT THEY KILLED SOMEBODY

“I hate everything,” Honey muttered, as they tried to tug the dress down. It was bad enough that it was so revealing, but it also wouldn’t zip up all the way.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

It would only get worse, however, as the next goal would add thigh highs.

And the one after that would add...

SAY NYA RIGHT FUCKING NOW

AaaaawwwWWWW WHAT A CUTE KITTY

You mean “right fucking meow?”

THEY LOOK SO PISSED LMAO

SAY NYA RIGHT FUCKING MEOW

They’re gonna kill us 😭😭😭😭

IM QUEER

With what? Their wittle paws?? 😽😽

This is my phone lockscreen now

Simp

“Yeah, you all better enjoy this, ‘cause I’m never doing it again.”

Doubt it, this is the fastest we’ve ever raised money

NOOOOOOOOO

Still waiting for you to say nya

NYAAAAAANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA

ITS THE CIIIIIIIIRRRRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIFEEE

“I’m not saying that.”

tf you’re not-

★someone donated $50★

SAY NYA BITCH

Honey heaved out a sigh that bordered a growl, and very blandly, “nya.”

As Chat cheered and went practically feral, Honey could only be glad that this couldn’t possibly get any wors-

They froze as they heard the Jaws theme start playing.

“Oh f-”

HE’S HEEEERE

YEEEEEEEESS

HoneysHeaven: wowah 😳

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

HOLY CRAP SOMEONE TAGGED HIM ON TWITTER 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

HoneyHeaven: hey there Honey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

SOMEONE SNITCHED????

Honey braced their elbows on their desk and hid their face in their hands. “Go back to working.”

HoneysHeaven: I will if you promise to still be wearing that when I get home 👀👀

“I’m burning it as soon as this stream ends.”

NOO YOU CANT BURN IT YOU LOOK SO SEXYY 😩😩

The boy just wants to see you all dolled up Boo, let him have his treat

“The next 15 minutes are going to be hell.”

HoneysHeaven: oooh the next goal you put on a collar, hm? 😏😏

Guy ur killing even me rn

OH WAIT I JUST GOT GUYS USERNAME

HoneysHeaven: Honey can you send me like $70

“I am not sending you money.”

HoneysHeaven: awww cmon 🥺🥺 my break ends in 2 minutes I just want to see you in a collar

ITS FOR CHARITY

DONATE TO THE CAUSE

“I’ll put you in a collar,” Honey grumbled with their arms crossed tightly.

HoneysHeaven: wouldn’t be the first time 😉

HOW DO WE RAISE ANOTHER 500 IN 10 MINUTES

AYO WHAT????

—

Guy likes interrupting Honey’s streams unprompted. He loves seeing the smile on their face. The gentle one that they wear while doing what they love. It makes him want to smother them in kisses.

Sometimes when he does this, he forgets about the mask and glasses. There have been plenty of times where he’s nearly accidentally exposed his face to the world, and it gives his honey a mini heart attack each time.

Honey made the executive decision to rearrange their setup so that the door was no longer in view. That way, Guy could spontaneously enter as much as he pleased.

—

Honey was still streaming when Guy returned home from work. They had told him in advance that this stream would be dragging on a bit longer than normal.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Honey looked up as they heard the door click open. Guy entered, waving a paper bag around.

“Honeeeey,” he sang, “I’ve brought you somethiiiiing.”

is that the boy i hear 👀👀👀

EVERYONE SHUT UP I NEED TO WITNESS THIS

DETROIT CAN WAIT THIS IS IMPORTANT

Honey eyed the bag skeptically as Guy drew closer, “should I be worried?”

“No,” Guy laughed, stopping right outside of the camera’s view. “I brought you donuts!”

“Ooh, really? What’s your motive?”

“Wha-? Motive!? Why do you think I would have a motive?”

Honey raised an eyebrow at their boyfriend and smirked.

Immensely offended, Guy scoffed, “what, am I not allowed to bring the most important person in my life a treat? Purely out of my own volition and the kindness of my heart?”

“I was joking before, but now I’m actually suspicious...”

“Just take the donuts, Honey,” Guy softly spoke with a warm smile, holding out the bag and leaning forward.

When Honey’s hand brushed against his own, Guy leaned closer, his other hand cupping the back of their neck. He held the bag up to hide his face from viewers as he placed a gentle kiss on his partners cheek.

Honey, growing ever more flustered, let out a nervous chuckle as they pushed Guy away and accepted the gifts.

AWWWWHDWSAIHDGDKDSBIDS

ITS HAPPENING

OMG

DID HE KISS THEM??

WHERE IS THE CLIP I NEED TO SEE THAT AGAIN

When you’re so lonely you’re living vicariously through someone in your screen

UH YEAH THATS THE POINT

OF COURSE

I GOT THE CLIP I GOT IT

Chat wouldn’t stop talking about it for the entire rest of the stream.

And for the next 4 streams after that...

—

Chat knows that Guy is important to Honey. No other roommate of theirs has ever become such a big part of their life, everyone knows that they have to be something more.

They stopped bugging Honey about it after a year. It's just kind of common knowledge that these two have a lot of chemistry, but asking straight up about their relationship won't work.

Not that having an answer would change anything, Chat loves seeing how happy Honey is with Guy.

—

It took a little over a year for Honey to agree, but finally they are streaming a game with Guy!!

They're playing Raft. Honey in their streaming room, and Guy in the living room. They're communicating through discord, and Chat is having a blast.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Did you finish building that engine yet?" Honey asked, filling a chest with some items.

"No, I thought you were going to do it," Guy answered.

"I literally told you to go ahead and make one two minutes ago!"

"I was busy distracting the shark while you were scavenging all that shit underwater!"

We should get them couples counciling

Guy can't keep being shark bait ooh ah ah 😭😭

I still don't understand the point of this game

It's his destiny

Raft

raft

The point is raft

RAFT

"Honey, I think I'm dying. My hunger bar is low."

"Then eat something, we have plenty of food."

"I don't think I can make it back in time," Guy whined.

"Wh- where are you??"

You could practically hear Guy's pout, "I went back on the island because you were mad at me."

"I am not mad at you," Honey responded, exasperated, "where are you at on the island?"

"Uhmm... I'm in a place with lots of trees."

"Okay, I'm bringing you some shark meat."

"The shark is dead?"

"Yeah I killed it."

[HONEY] MOVE FASTER WE CANT LET HIM DIE

They are playing the game so wrong I am ripping my hair out

Tip: multiple sails will make you go faster

They can play however they want to 😡

The only right way to do anything is the [Honey] and Guy way

"Oh shi-" Guy started, "I'm dead."

"You're fiiine."

"No, my character just collapsed from hunger."

"Don't be dramatic, I'm almost there."

"I'm not being dramatic!! I died!!!"

"A little death never killed anybody."

Honey found Guy's character, limp on the ground, and picked him up.

"Alright, you big baby, I'll take you to the bed."

"Oooooh," Guy sang impishly, "you're carrying me to bed?"

"Yep."

"What are you gonna do with me once we get there?"

"When we get there, you are gonna build that goddamn engine!"

Upon arrival to the raft, Honey discovered something...

"Where the fuck is the bed??"

Guy coughed out a laugh, "oh, uhm- I might've taken it with me when I left."

"Why would you do that!?!?"

"Because you were mad at me!!!"

"I swear to god-" Honey dropped Guy's carcass on the raft and went to collect materials to make another bed.

"Honeeeeey," Guy whined, "this wooden floor is hard."

Honey sighed, "I'm making you a bed, hold on."

"Come lay underneath meeee."

AGDKSGAKBFK

Boi he wants them under him 👀👀

Can't believe they let Guy die, I'll never forgive them for this 😢🤧😖 /lh /j

Our boy really stepped up his flirting game 😳😳😳

Too bad [Honey] is too oblivious

They're not oblivious, they're an asshole

A distinct sound of sharp teeth chomping into their hard work caught Honey's attention.

"Fuckin' hell," they murmured, "the stupid shark is back."

"Hurry up making the bed and I can kill it," Guy offered.

"I thought you were making the bed," Honey retorted.

Guy scoffed, "Honey!!!!"

"I gotta stab the shark, hold on."

Cold blooded

Yeah

They don't deserve Guy I'm gonna kidnap him

That shark is an endangered species!!!

DoNT YOU DARE GUYNAP OUR BELOVED BOY

Finally, finally, Honey returned and placed Guy's character on the bed. He sprang up immediately.

Guy's cheerful voice started up, "yayyy, thank you Hone-" and was cut off with a yelp.

The shark had glitched through the bottom of the raft and attack Guy. It scared him half to death, but Honey?

Honey was laughing hysterically.

And it was music to Guy's ears.

Gasping for breath, they kept trying to say something, but continuously fell into a fit of giggles.

Guy was barely able to form his own words without laughing, trying to feign offense at his honey's joy in seeing him hurt. But hearing them laugh so heartily? He couldn't help but melt.

And he didn't want to just hear it, he wanted to see it.

"I'm coming to get you, Honey!" He announced, just before darting towards their room.

"No, no no!" They tried to object, but it was too late as Guy came bursting in.

They were in his arms and on the floor in an instant, tears streaming down their face as they tried to breathe.

Their face hurt from smiling, and they tried to calm down, but as soon as their breathing slowed Guy started to tickle them.

"Guy-! No!! Stop it!" They squealed and squirmed, but to no avail. Their previous laughing fit left them exhausted.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I feel like we shouldn't be watching this

HES SO CUTE????

GUY FACE REVEAL!!!!!

EVERYONE SHIELD YOUR EYES

TURN OFF YOUR DEVICES THIS IS ILLEGAL

Wait I think I've seen him before!

When all settled down, Guy and Honey were nothing but a mess of tangled limbs on the floor, just barely out of frame.

"I love you, Honey," he said softly.

Honey smiled, "I love you too."

—

When the couple realized that Guy was no longer anonymous, Honey made him start carrying pepper spray while he worked.

Gotta keep the boy safe.

The End.

A/N: Thank you for reading the Streamer!Honey series ♡ I've loved writing it, and it makes me so happy that you all loved it as well!

#redacted streamer!honey #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted headcanons #redacted guy #redacted honey #redacted fanfic #redacted writing #redacted au #the person that recognized guy may or may not have been asher #peep the W2H reference

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im-dehydrated05 · 1 month

Text

Not too confident with this one but enjoy!

𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5

Aurora made it to class just as the bell rang. She sat down, immediately getting a text message from Cassandra.

CASSI🎭

HEY YOU MADE IT TO CLASS IN TIME?

You're not going to believe me, but even though I fell and ate shit, I still made it in time—just barely!

🤣

YOU SURE YOU DONT HAVE A CONCUSSION?

🖕

Aurora smiled at her phone but placed it down when someone sat next to her.

?: "Hey, what’s got you smiling at your phone?”

Aurora’s breath hissed as she looked at the unhinged psychopath who tried and did stab her in other loops. Her hands trembled, but she tucked them neatly on her lap, trying to seem less panicked.

"Nothing, just my dumb theater friend texting me.”

Mia grinned, scooting over her chair closer to Aurora.

Mia: “Oh yeah, is she like your best friend?”

Aurora's breath got caught in her throat before she let out a shaky breath and finally managed to calm her nerves, giving Mia a calm smile.

"Nah, I already have a best friend.”

Mia frowned a little, resting her head on her arms.

Mia: “Oh yeah, who?”

"Oh, you know, just someone named Mia Winter? You know, it doesn’t really matter in what life I’m in; she just seems to follow me in almost every single one. She has been acting like a bitch, though, and I mean, who the hell stabs their best friend?”

Mia quickly stood straight in her chair, a look of shock on her face. She opens her mouth, but Aurora quickly excuses herself from the class, saying that something has come up, and sprints away. A few moments later, she could hear someone sprinting behind her.

shit. Shit. Shit!

Aurora walks out of the theater quickly, running to the forest, not noticing that Ms. President was looking at her from afar. The blonde frowns at seeing Mia come after the brunette, not shortly after.

Mia made it to the lake in the forest, looking around nervously, almost afraid.

Mia: “Hey Aurora, no hard feelings, right? I didn’t mean to stab you; I just... I wanted my best friend back!”

She took out her switchblade, opening and closing it again and again as she looked around, getting frustrated when she didn’t hear anything back.

Mia: “I don’t know how you remember me now, but it’s obvious that it wasn’t Miranda’s doing... She promised! She promised she would bring you back; that’s why—

Mia fell to the floor, unconscious. We see Aurora behind her, holding a big branch in her hands and breathing heavily. She put it down and grabbed Mia, putting her in a place where she wouldn’t get hurt or hurt others. Aurora turned around, looking at the lake. She cautiously walked towards it and sighed when she saw her reflection.

“Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴡʜᴏ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.”

"Well, hello to you too.”

Her reflection chuckled, and Aurora smiled while sitting down in front of the lake.

“This is weird as hell.”

“Tᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴏɪᴅ ᴍɪssɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡɪғᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ I’ᴍ sᴛᴜᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪs ʟᴀᴋᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴍᴇ.”

Aurora tilts her head, trying to comprehend everything that the spirit is telling her.

“Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀ Bᴜᴅʀɪᴏʟɪ.”

“That’s my last name, yeah.”

“Sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

The spirit in the lake chuckled with a nervous tone and uncertainty in her voice.

“Yᴇᴀʜ ᴀʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ. A ᴅᴇsᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Bᴜᴅʀɪᴏʟɪ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅʟɪɴᴇ, ʙʟᴇssᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ sᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ʜᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛɪᴇs?”

The two stare at each other, the breeze blowing against Aurora’s hair.

“I thought my grandma was having another dementia episode when she started talking about witches, but uh, I have like a book of witchcraft...? And other stuff she left me there, all in a box back at the dorm.”

Aurora scratched her neck, letting out a nervous laugh. The spirit squinted her eyes at her with a judgmental look in her eyes.

“Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ sʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ?”

"Hey, she said crazy shit all the time; how was I supposed to know that one was true?“

“Oᴋᴇʏ, ᴏᴋᴇʏ, ғɪɴᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ.”

“Thank you!”

Aurora stood up, looking down at her reflection with a hand on her hip.

“So what exactly is the point in all of this?”

"Well, to bring me back, of course. If you do, Miranda will leave you and your friends alone.”

Aurora’s eyes widen.

They’ll be free.

"Okay, I’ll do it. If this will stop the loops, I’ll do it.”

The reflection smiled brightly before a look of shock appeared on her face, and she disappeared, turning into Aurora’s normal reflection.

What the hell?

?: “So you remember the loops?”

Aurora turned around to see a familiar face standing behind her. It was Bela; she had her arms crossed, waiting for an answer.

Aurora nodded, her expression filled with both confusion and relief.

"Yes, I remember the loops.“

Bela is silent for a moment before she walks closer to Aurora, cupping her face gently. There was still no expression on her face, but Aurora still couldn’t hold back the content sigh that left her lips.

Bela: “Are you okay? I saw Mia following you.”

Aurora stepped back, a chuckle leaving her lips, before she pointed to the closes tree to them.

"Well, I didn't want her to hurt me or herself, so I duct-taped her to the tree.”

In the moment, Mia woke up trashing around. Aurora just smiled at her, and Bela looked at Mia with a distasteful look on her face.

Bela: “Where did you even get duct tape?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”

The blonde rolled her eyes, a tired sigh leaving her lips.

Bela: “Okay then.”

Aurora nods before walking close to Mia and untaping her mouth.

Mia: "Ow, Aurora, what the fuck!”

“You’re going to help me or not?”

Mia: “Of course I am dumb ass; you’re my best friend.

“Good.”

#resident lover #bela dimitrescu #donna beneviento #angie beneviento #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #fanfic #mother miranda

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smoshpostiing · 2 months

Note

heya! dont mind me being the dumbest idiot to ever idiot but what does the "shayne needs oil" joke mean 😔💅

no dont apologise ahaha!!!! i think it just meant he was wheezing and squeaking when he was laughing so he needs oil like how rusty squeaky joints on machines do 🤣

#smosh #shayne topp #courtney miller #smosh cast #smosh games #chanse mccrary #angela giarratana #dont win mario kart

24 notes · View notes

megamindsecretlair · 3 months

Text

Get To Know Me Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @nerdieforpedro 😚 for anyone who cares, here's a bit about me! 🥹

General rule: I may overshare in dms and authors notes sometimes but Im generally a private person 🤣 to the point Ive lost friends over it. ive been working with my coworkers for 3 years and they dont know shit about me 🤣 I juss really love yall and feel safe with yall so here we go!

1. Were you named after anyone?

No. My mom didnt want our names to announce who we were on applications so we all got regular smegular names. My name is of Irish origin so my yt folks customer service voice got ppl thinkin I have red hair. I mean....technically yes but its buried under my braids 🤣

2. When was the last time you cried?

At the end of The Marvels. The first end credit had me in real, actual tears. On a more serious note, I last cried before my grandma died. Yall, its fn hard being a caretaker. I was not built Ford Tuff.

3. Do you have kids?

*ahem* 🗣🗣 fuck no! 🤣🤣🤣 I dont even have nieces or nephews. Kids make me nervous and Im pretty sure they can smell the fear on me. 🤣

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

I played basketball and softball in HS. I love and miss softball all the time even though my big behind HATES running.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sarcasm is one of my love languages. I put that shit on everything 🤣 Physical Touch is my main one since we sharing.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Ooof, tough. Depends. Some quirk like glasses, lisp, moles. How they walk/talk, the way they laugh. I am a lurker by trade. Overly shy kid and writer by nature will do that to ya.

7. What is your eye color?

Dark brown. When that sun hits 🫠🫠🫦

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I am a HUGE scaredy cat. I dont do scary movies nothin! Happy endings over here! 🤸🏽‍♀️ I will enjoy a thriller but only behind my hands and mostly starring Matthew Lillard.

9. Any talents?

.....no? I have a bunch of useless knowledge or trivia that no one asked for but ya gonna get 🤣 . Juss realized writing is considered a talent 😭 so that too 🤣

10. Where were you born?

US, West Coast baybeee

11. What are your hobbies?

Obvs, writing. Reading, sewing, cons, tarot, tv, listening to music, video games (xbox, switch, PC girlie) , Marvel. Marvel is a hobby. I will talk your ear off. That is both a threat and a promise 😚

12. Do you have any pets?

I have two gorgeous Boston Terriers who run me into the ground every day. Idk why my mom thought two was okay 🫠🫠 my Black ass tide 🥲 👏🏽

13. How tall are you?

Fun sized 5'3 and a half 👏🏽👏🏽🤣 pear shaped. I got ass for days but in the itty bitty titty committee. 😭😭😭😭😭

14. Favorite subject in high school?

Definitely English. My English teacher was so fine 🥲🥲 thats not WHY it was my fave but can ya blame me 😩 I loved reading the books but I hated the themes they shoved down our throats. What if that wasnt MY interpretation of the book??? Hmmm? Some faves include: Their Eyes Were Watching God (Teacake 🥵🥵🥵), Brave New World, Bright Lights Big City (probably where my love of second person is from) , Bronx Masquerade, and The Outsiders. And FUCK the Great Gatsby. If I hear about that damn green light one 👏🏽 mo 👏🏽 fn 👏🏽 time 👏🏽😩😡 and FUCK Of Mice and Men, he aint have to do all that in the end. And DOUBLE FUCK I Know Why the Caged Bird sings. Turned my stomach when she described the SA. Lemme stop 🥴

15. Dream Job?

Writer. I will publish, I will be successful, and I will live the life I want. I claim it 😩 on my Octavia Butler, NK Jemisin, Danielle Allen shit 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Whew! That was fun 😭🤣

No pressure tags: @mybonafidefeelings @bratzmaraj @braverthanthenewworld @multiversefanfics @chaos-4baby @westside-rot @saturn-rings-writes @notapradagurl7 @wide-nose-and-wonderful @blowmymbackout @blackerthings @harmshake @targaryenvampireslayer and who wants to do one. I love learning bout my moots.

#megaminds tag game #get to know me tag game #get to know megamind #im funny sometimes #chronically online emo kid #dass me #i dont cry that often #nothing against it #i juss hate how puffy my face gets #my forehead big because im a people watcher 😭#glasses wearer too #tag game #tumblr tag game #know your moots #join in #i love learning bout folks

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strawbs-screaming · 4 months

Text

how i think the boxers text

i was bored. also clay puppington looks like don flamenco to me somehow. goodbye

Glass joe - he would type with extra double spaces and use a lot of emojis for the wrong purposes with random capital letters

Example:

"hello. Have you seen my water bottle?"

"aran. is. in the hospital 🤯🤯🤯 call Later!! 🗣️"

Von Kaiser - okay grammar and uses a space before question marks & exclamation points, uses emojis in the intended (boring) way

Example:

"okay !! on my way !! 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️"

"aran fell down a pothole !! It is NOT 🙅‍♂️ funny !!"

Disco Kid - uses slang often and gets creative with emojis, likes to use keyboard smashes to laugh and leaves typos in for flavor

Example:

"aran really said 🕳️⬅️🏃‍♂️"

"HELP IM EVAPORATEINF😭😭😭😭 LMAO AHKAJSJSJSJSNNSNS PLEASEE"

"YOURW GOING TO JAIL FOR THAT ONE 👮‍♂️👮‍♂️🚔🚔🚨🚨 WEE WOO WEE WOO"

King Hippo - Really ominous messages, texts like hes telling you hes done a mission, sometimes forgets to use a dot and uses a comma instead, sometimes responds with emojis that have 0 relevance

Example:

"oh no,"

"I took care of him. The job is done."

" 🍝🤯"

Piston Hondo - squeaky clean grammar, uses emojis rarely unless he forgets the name of something

Example:

"Alright. I'll call later."

"What was the name of this? I know how it looks like but forgot the name. Looks something like this: 🥨. I think it was called a praised eel or something?"

Bear Hugger - He texts like a Facebook mom, down to the wording and everything

Example:

"You mean pretzel? 🤣"

"How did he fall down a pothole?! 😮"

Great Tiger - too lazy to fix typos so it looks like a ancient language, likes spamming the same emoji over and over again when hes run out of responses, autocorrect fucks his messages up even more

Example:

"wesir did srsn fslk doen s potjole?? (wait did aran fall down a pothole?"

"i dont knoe sf is ıoıld laıyknsyn at araj fellimf dlen and pırjolej" (i dont know if i should laugh at aran falling down a pothole)

"👀👀👀👀👀"

Don Flamenco - proper grammar with some tiny typos that gets autocorrect to mess his message up, his autocorrect is literally cursed, it runs his messages daily

Example:

"Did aran fall town s pit joke??"

"I am do confused"

Aran Ryan - unhinged, emphasizes random parts for no reason, emojis after every sentence, wrong emojis everywhere

Example:

"I fell DOWN a pothole! 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️"

"shut UP 🖕🖕🖕🚔🦗🖕🥨"

"ILL drag you down there MYSELF!! 🗣️🗣️😡😡"

Soda Popinski - like a grandpa in the good way, sends those positive good morning images in every groupchat hes in

"Rise and shine! 💖"

"I just woke up. Don't know whats going on! 👀"

"Get well soon! 💐🌼✨"

Bald Bull - texts like your dad, except he switches out moves completely when hes cursing someone out

Example:

"ok"

"👍"

"You dumb bitch. Fuck you ass hole."

Super Macho Man - texts like hes making a copypasta

Example:

"Rise and GRIND! 🗣️ Surfs up today! 🤙🤙 Im catching waves like theres no tomorrow! 🏝️🌊"

"I have no idea. I am literally so confused right now. My brain is not working. My thought are not thoughting. I need a reboot. "

Mr Sandman - FINALLY someone that types like a normal person!!

Example:

"How did you fall down a pothole?"

"how great."

#punch out #headcanon #punch out headcanons #punch out wii #aran ryan #don flamenco #piston hondo #bald bull #glass joe #great tiger #me when i unleash the horrors (my hcs) on you all #hope you enjoyed the small pattern of aran falling down a pothole and hondo forgetting what the word for pretzel is #<- almost typed homo instead of hondo help

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baby-xemnas · 3 months

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BABYXEMNAAAAAAASSS YOUVE DONE IT AGAAAAIIIIINNNN now im thinking about early pre-sex lawbepo where law is Forever Changed after getting a touch of paw beans. bepos palms are warm and somehow soft and rough at the same time and squish just a little when u squeeze them and law Cant stop thinking about it. hes.. beginning to have Wicked thoughts about it. bepo blushed so cutely when law rubbed his paws.. he wants to know what bepos paws feel like.. elsewhere.. so he breaks and hes like ok its just my curiosity thats all. its fine. ill satisfy my questions. and then ill be fine. so he says Ah Bepo , Looks like you may have a knotted muscle in your hand i should check it. and bepo bless his heart says wow!!! captain is so good at being a doctor i didnt even notice my hand was hurt. here you go!!! :3 no hesitation no nothing but complete blind trust. law feels a little guilty but then he has bepos hand in his now and he no longer has any morals just bepo . he strokes the texture and when he gently presses his fingers into his pawpad bepo squeaks just a little bit and as law massages both thumbs into bepos palm he whimpers... law becomes evil right then and there .hes decided its so fucking over. hes going to hell and he is running for it full fucking speed. bepos flushed going nn captain.. w..wait.. it feels.. and law says does it not feel good, bepo? Bepo Is Powerless. W WAIT YES it feels good!!!!!!! law says hmm. <disappointed> ill stop then. NO!!! NO YOU DONT HAVE TO...you can..keep going.... making bepo beg a little even when hes sooooooo embarassed because captain asked to rub his hands!!! hes doing something nice for bepo so its the least he could do to let him .... law asked..and hes staring at bepo so intently and his hands are so warm and its LAW so its ok..if law says its ok..right... law doesnt stop until bepo is sweating and whining and shaking in his chair and laws essentially just fingering both hands across the table. bepo has never ever been touched like this before in his life and did not know his hands coukd do that and hes tearing up a little bit because he feels so so warm his heart is beating so fast his fur is standing on end and then law (so lost in the bear sauce) does the unthinkable. he lifts bepos palm to his mouth and Bites it. and bepo MOANS out loud. its this high pitched shocked whiny cry out of laws best/guiltiest dreams and then it is dead fucking silent. both of them stare at each other in the most painfully erect alarm as it sinks in . what hapoens next is up 2 u...........

LOVE THIS WITH ALL MY HEART THANK YOU

law cant be normal ever, every part of bepo is too lovely and his reactions are so cute ..

im laughing "wow captain is such a good doctor i didnt even know i was hurt" 🤣🤣🤣 bepo dear angel you have such high opinion of him (this will not change even after many proofs that law is weird and sus)

bepo getting so overwhelmed...getting touched by law san like this!!! being his single focus!!! i love when he feels bashful that he's reacting so strongly even tho its law who starts it every time and is so much weirder

god please law would say something completely idiotic like "they look like pink dango" its stupidity falls on deaf ears because bepo nearly came in his pants after the massage and THAT he's just huh?////..um//// he is so embarrassed that he is falling apart like this!!! over something so little...captain didnt mean it that way!!! he is being so caring and kind and good!!! 😭😭😭😭 he is so ashamed. dear captain please forgive him for being a pervert! he didn't mean to moan like that 💀

#anonymous #talk tag #but its not mine #lawbepo #beautiful #beautiful gift for me #sorry took awhile to respond i was busy today #i love this sm

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carpedzem · 7 months

Text

questionnaire results that i didnt forget about at all

im okay so i forgot and then forgot again a few times. ANYWAY. enjoy the results!!

i cant post every written answer, so heres my favourite :)

whats your favourite animal, be as specific as possible

Peregrine Falcon

domestic cat! specifically MY cats but any cat will do

your mom

Black bear. One tried to walk into my house recently and he was really cute but I had to tell him no :( (ARE YOU OK?)

Dumbo octopus

fancy rats

honestly i’ve always been too scared to settle on one animal as a favorite, because it feels like a question with no satisfying answer. like if i had to be honest it’s probably dogs? because i’ve grown up around them, they’re an animal i like beyond just aesthetic purposes. but when you hear this sort of question, you wonder if the asker wants to hear about something exotic, some random interest that caught the interviewees eye at a young age and never left their conscious. anyways i think it’s probably house cats

rainbow trout, luzon-bleeding hearts, and horses.. dogs too

emperor penguin

any type of liddol snake. I love them so

sea sheep

Long eared Jerboa

(most people chose cat)

george (42,5%)

second place with also a lot of votes (37%)

sapnap (45,7%)

dream (44,1%)

this is my favourite question and i cant believe i misspelled it

you can put two of your mutuals against each other in a fight. who do you chose

i can’t answer this they all hate one another it’s too real. bellaya (bellaya was the most popular answer)

Lost and Kiuda. There can only be one (one of what)

Can I just give loyal a nice spa day? I'd like to give loyal a nice spa day

violence is never the answer

🤦🏻‍♂️🤣

i would fight them all myself obviously

I fear that no matter who I put here they'd just give up and make out instead

I only have two moots I joined tumblr a day ago help (i wonder how this person likes it here so far)

Nunki "demonstars" vs Nov "sueñitos" for La Velada 2024

no fighting…. sharika shakira

Gogciety v powergnf battle of the golos

im giving you a gun with only one bullet. what do you do (vent section) (while a lot of answers made me laugh a lot im gonna skip ones that can get us in trouble LMAO. but remember you made ME laugh)

Listen would killing q give us usmp back? No. Would it make me feel SO MUCH BETTER??????? YES!!!!!! (i mean obv q took like half of the shots. the other popular answer was just lining everyone)

I give it to Sapnap. He has made it clear he will kill for Dream god bless

am i given a time machine? can i shoot someone already dead? does it have to be someone reasonably killable? the answer to these questions is irrelevant because no matter what i want it to be steve jobs.

shoot at internet cable

going to british land and the first dumbass cc i see gets it

use it to open a jar because my hands are very weak and im too embarrassed to ask anyone else to open it for me

only one :(?

Lay it carefully on the ground.

hand it to George he could judge more fairly than I (and hope he doesn't shoot Sapnap)

i send the gun and bullet to the dteam house as a secret gift with a note explaining that it's for sapnap and george only, and a letter stating to pass extras to the rest of the munchy squd. if we all donate our weapons to them, they'll be able to shoot all of dream's haters. the only obstacle is dream himself, which is why he can't know what's in the box.

Give it to gnf&sapnap and watch them fight over it

(IM SORRY I FORGOR....)

top drolo 2023 - ones i forgot about

punz

hannah

puffy

bbh

squidkid

Radio statio guy

SYLVEEYYYY

illumina

me. sorryyr i dont mean that

you (im soo not BUT THANK YOU)

I think all munchies deserve this spot, theyre all the best drolos :(( i love them

powergpu guy (jesse)

george deserves it tbh for slut smp (that is true, but i excluded snf bc i was afraid they will sweep...)

shadoune

LARRAY

Lil nas X

THATS ALL. thank you everyone who took part in this AND ONCE AGAIN IM SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT IT.... ill be better next time o7

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Note

I found one of your sagau posts about language and got me thinking xD

Reader who knows a lot of languages which gets people confused. Are they speaking in their godly language? Are they really that mad that they switched to another language? Why are they smirking like that--- (Aether/Lumine who understood everything trying so hard not to laugh at people's reactions)

Why did I imagine that after a flowery speech Reader delivers a response so blunt the vine boom sfx can be heard---

Reader trying out flowery speech and failing, while the rest of the people in the background are either A.) Trying to convince you that its alright to talk simply (oh now you turn the tables--) or B.) Some of them fainting in devotion/cuteness because their god looks at them so eagerly for feedback

I heard somewhere that Mondstadt is based on Germany and another post about Snezhnaya (bruh whats the spelling 🤣💀) based on Russia, so I thought that while they speak english they also throw in a couple words of their respective language (or in some drunk cases, full out native language). Cue reader just.... 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

Bilingual reader who uses full advantage of their knowledge into making puns and jokes to Cyno----

WE CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE BOYS

YES YES THE PSPSPSPSS NEVER FAILSSS🛐🛐🛐

(subliminalmessagingpspspspsscometomeaskscomepspspspspssubliminalmessaging)

___________

DUDE ive thought abt just making it where Aether/Lumine are the only ones who understand English/ur language and like, while u can (or maybe cant for shenanigans) speak Teyvatian (ew theres gotta be a better word for that?) Theres NOTHING as amazing as the bilingual experience of pranking bitches

Eula gives like a whole poetry book of a speech to you guys to be more responsible abt gliding in the city (its cute <3 shes actually very concerned bc you know you would do sm that would worry her, i mean i know im just flinging myself off of every surface all the time, esp in Mondstadt im not using no stairs💀)

And you just... turn to Aether/Lumine and say smth in English and they bust out laughing

(Or worse, u two are giggling like little shits✨️)

Dont feel too bad Eula, they do this to everyone

(Paimon's constantly on ya'lls case abt it)

Like u didnt even say anything rude (probably), as u explained to Eula, but its like this all the time, sm ppl even find themsleves jealous of this bond you two have got, tho whether they are jealous of Aether/Lumine or you is still still hard to tell,,)

♧

IM SO GLAD ONE PERSON OUT THERE GOT THE FLOWERY SPEECH -> YOU REPLY -> VINE BOOM 🤝🤝🤝 THING I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY

Thats deadass like how i imagine half the time it would be like talking to ppl, esp if ur critizing smth that person was doing lmao (like roasting them)

Its even funnier if like, u didnt hear the vine boom so to speak, like u got ur back to the rest of the characters/npcs while ur talking to this one person and u dont even know u just said smth that's got like one person crying laughing

(KAEYA, aether/lumine, hu tao, KAVEH, Venti, childe, Yae Miko, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, beidou, off the top of my head)

♡

Another one is just standing there in shock, when will they unfreeze? Only time can tell

(Zhongli, jean, eula, keqing, ayaka, ganyu, kuki shinobu, once again off the top of my head theres so many characters at this point in genshin help)

♡

They're just like,, processing still, theyre probably overthinking everything u say bc to them you give so little information 💀 i can see the like transparent images of their thinking faces floating around them now LMAO

(Alhaitham, zhongli again rip, DILUC, kaeya's also laughing at him not just you his stomach hurts help him, Ei, XIAO, ALBEDO, Ayato but he'd also be muffling a laugh, Kazuha maybe i can also see him just giggling n shit, Kokomi, CYNO, Tighnari but also he'll react like its the funniest joke ever while he's trying to actually think abt it, so he just ends up standing there, thinking outloud, then cracking up over and over again lol)

♤

Oh Cyno u sweet summer child, as soon as u started making puns it was over for him, no one can stop you, even if Tighnari can't understand ur language rn he can definitely just sense there's bad jokes being made, esp if Cyno gets it and his lip like, twitches upward or even worse, he chuckles.

(Tighnari's totally getting onto him for corrupting you)

☆

pLEASE US ACTUALLY TRYING TO SPEAK LIKE THEM 😭😭😭

What a cute image, just some of them reassuring us and some of them thinking its cute for trying, and we look around the room when we try for feedback i know i would 😭😭

If i actually got close tho they better give me a headpat or smth

___________

Anyway THANK YOU for the ask!! (subliminalmessingpspspspspscometomeaskscomepspsps)

That was a BEAUTIFUL✨️ thing to read, got my heart doin backflips and shit 😳😊🥰

God this is so long im so sorry everyone

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

#my asks #ask box open #please send asks #genshin sagau #not really #im gonna still label it that but its really #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #genshin sagau ideas #genshin impact #im not putting character tags suffer #genshin god reader

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