Tumgik
#i dont really think its fair that the last time i was in a good mood for than a couple of hours was 2018
puppyeared · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
I CANT USE CSS ON ARTFIGHT...............
#I WAS REALLY HOPING TO FIX THE FUCKING. PARAGRAPH WIDTH. SIGH#idk why but it stretches across the ENTIRE page like. it takes up the full width of the browser and it BOTHERS ME. ON ALL THE PAGES#i could try manually putting shift breaks but im worried it might not look so good on mobile. ugghh... auyggghhh.....#im already learning CSS and API so i thought i could put it to good use but. AUGH#this whole time ive had to go into the inspect panel myself and change the padding so i dont have to read the length of the screen#like a fucking typewriter... i would have also loved to use custom fonts and animations......#i did find a guide for BBCode which the site uses on default and it covers basic styling but its not the same. sniffle#you CAN unlock CSS if you donate $25 to the page which seems fair. and if i could do it i would but. i do not have any way of#sending or receiving money online </3 i really need to figure out how to do that so i can set up comms like i said i would last summer#but it intimidates me.... and im already kept on a short leash when it comes to that so it feels like a lot of things could go wrong#i think toyhouse allows CSS or some sort of code...?? i remember seeing some oc pages with custom layouts#if thats the case i'll try fiddling with it but im not very familiar with using toyhouse so thatll take a while#(thanks again for the code sal ^_^ ill put it on my pin once its ready but im trying to learn my way around the site heh ;;)#at least i can use my pixel dividers.. ive been digging around for pixels to use and found some really cute ones#yapping
39 notes · View notes
carpunter · 3 months
Text
.
#cant sleep bc im thinking so many thoughts#hiding in the tags#i think im finally over her?#like today and the last time we hung out i didnt Feel it anymore#and its not like i dont love her anymore i really really do but now its in a best friend way only i think?#the Feeling wasnt there which i guess its a good thing#and like yeah maybe its the depression maybe im just not feeling anything rn but also like#thats why she broke up with me and even when her depression got better she never got back to Feeling it?#and last time My depression was bad i wouldnt feel anything at all except when we hung out#so it feels different now#not necessarily a bad different just Different#but im so fucking scared of losing her#like im so scared of when she starts dating again#and yes ive been thinking of dating again im desperate for a girlfriend#but shes the one who broke up with me and shes had to deal with this before with Him and she didnt feel bad#but when we started dating He felt bad so like. i get him#and im so scared of never getting into a relationship again bc she’ll Always have a part of my heart like even if i dont Feel it anymore#she’ll always be number one for me#and im scared ill never let myself love anyone else bc i wouldnt think its fair to them bc of her#and idk.#i really dont wanna lose her she means so much to me#and im so comfortable around her in a way that im not with anyone else#idk where im going with this#sometimes i really fucking hate being aroace#and not being able to tell the difference between different feelings#:(#whatever
6 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 9 months
Note
YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PRICELESS IS SO GOOD RIGHT... LOVE THE ENDING FOR THAT... and very much anticipating First Penguin's... which I am DETERMINED to continued today... I feel bad for falling behind because I ended up binging a whole anime yesterday since the secondary protagonist was based on Tsutsumi and lost track of Fucking Everything 😭😭😭he is so cute though😚
Tumblr media
OH BUT YEAH I played DQXI's demo [the first ten hours of the game or so]... yeaaahhhh... definitely that kind of game for me too... but I hope whenever you get back to it you have a good time! I may not know a thing about Metroid but I am also happy to hear it was an enjoyable experience overall :] I enjoy the tag rambles very much :]
REGARDLESS... EPIC... I HOPE YOU ENJOY SP... OR AT THE VERY LEAST I HOPE YOU CAN STICK WITH IT UNTIL IT BECOMES ENJOYABLE...
AND YOU'RE JUST NOT GOING TO DROP THE TITLE so mean telling me about all these interesting things to watch and not sharin the title (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)
TEN HOURS FOR THE DEMO ??? long as hell demo... OH BUT NO i love the games a lot !! ive followed the series for a while since. i do have that dragon ball/toriyama fanatic in me unfortunately even if i dont like toriyama himself ☠️☠️ i only really got to actually start one of the games last year when my bro got DQXI for me and ive been loving it so far (* ̄▽ ̄*)ミ|Ю
i've BEEN enjoying it so far !! i'm just about to start episode four tho i AM gonna lose my mind if this hospital arc goes on one more episode bro this half the series already ☠️
#snap chats#joking of course.... haha unless--#if this is the chara you mean then he seems like a nice fellow :) i trust his vibes already..... he seems like a chara i'd like...#OH BUT PRICELESS WAS SOOOO GOOD AND SO LOVELY TYSM AGAIN FOR RECCING IT... i hope you enjoy the rest of first penguin !!!!!#NO WORRIES BOUT RUSHIN IT fair nuff theres no deadline !!!! id rather you take your time and enjoy it on your own terms anyhow :)#but SPEEEAAKING of DQ im actually playing it rn LMAO. i only stopped last year cause i just had an awful exp with a boss#and then i got busy with Life but itd been bothering me that i just stopped so i finally decide to get back into it#the boss wasnt even that hard this time around... tho i think thats just cause i went in Prepared this time ☠️#i dont remember why my bro got me DQXI.. i think he was just using some gamestop deal he had and got himself something too..#NOOO UGH i dont know if its in the demo but the boss was arachtagon and he's who i thought of while making that ichi and masato comic LMAO#of course i couldnt reference that fight since.... that wasnt the DQ game of the time... but still we get the point i think...#nono i love dragon quest and playing it's something i'm happy i finally get to do#it definitely requires you to think a lot more and be more careful with what you do#i mean itd PRRROOBBBABLY be easier if i did sidequests but i have a terrible tendency to wanna finish the game first...#in any case. i am playing it while watching SP because i was thinking of the next part of the game and was stuck on it#and when i looked up where to go i was like 'no i already checked that spot' and i was just gonna leave it at that but now i cant stop#but i ALSO really wanted to watch SP today but fortunately i can multitask#not like i need to pay a LOT of attention to dq rn.. im just grinding. cause im broke ☠️#oh but im glad you enjoy the tag rambles :) i have too many thoughts for my own good#like how when i was at the game store i saw DQ treasures AND metroid dread AND the megaman battlenetwork collection..#i was fighting real demons that day not to empty my wallet....#luckily my bro was with me so i felt like him being there was a way to keep me in check. even if he prob wouldnt have opposed ( ̄▽ ̄;;)#IN ANY CASE. i have multiple medias to consume lest i let The Thoughts take over my brain again for even a second ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶#inoue's chara is so funny like He's Super Human um doc... i think he's just autistic lowkey..... he still a baller regardless tho
3 notes · View notes
be-good-to-bugs · 2 days
Text
i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa
#the bin#i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious#so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh.#i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad#im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20#more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long#and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful#i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed#and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what#else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option#i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed!#it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them#all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister#also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be.#i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul#fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh.#how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon#and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some#i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to#all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone#besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider#friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period#i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho.#i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past#8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me.#its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone#it will get better. it has to.
1 note · View note
themyscirah · 5 months
Text
Did I seriously just finish an art piece??? I know I'm me but did I get abducted by aliens or something like who is this person
1 note · View note
toastsnaffler · 6 months
Text
trying to figure out how tf I'm gonna get home from this gig next week..
#doors open 7 and they only have 1 support so i would expect support to be on at 8 and the main act at 9 but it finishes at 11......#but id need to leave around 10pm to catch the last train home if i miss that im fuuuucked#but that might mean missing out on most of their set if they dont start until 9:30 or later :(#ahhhhh#i have a friend who still lives in that city so maybe ill ask them if they could put me up for a night..... hmm#i think they live a fair distance from the venue tho.. if i miss some of it i miss some of it i guess. its not the end of the world#they HAVR announced new dates for next year and theyre playing in my current city so maybe. i could resell these tix#and just go see them in february instead#WAIT. THE ONE IN FEB IS LITERALLY 10 MINS WALK FROM MY FLAT ??????#what the fuck. well i might as well just do that then lmaooo#saves me buying train tickets too#theres a gig w 4 post punk bands next week that i also really wanna go to bc one of the bands i LOVEEE but i think id run into the same-#problem travelling there ARGHHHH#so fucking annoying cuz its a tiny venue (~200 capacity) so rly intimate and they have such good sound there ive been before#and the band i love is relatively small and canadian so the odds of them playing here again are slim to none so 😭😭😭��#ill check the venue page maybe theyll end a bit earlier so its feasible. maaaannn#i havent been to enough live music lately i rly need to get back into it#theres a jmath band ive seen before on tour again i think they hit my city in a couple weeks so might go to that they were sick last time#we will SEE#anyway lunchtime baby#.diaries
0 notes
etherealstar-writes · 3 months
Text
I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 8
Tumblr media
pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: eight
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
stairway y/n, i gotta tell you something very important
the imposter okay? what is it?
stairway
Tumblr media
the imposter when and where?
stairway i was thinking a beach wedding this weekend
willybum WOAH WOAH WOAH hell nah gimme a chance
the REAL karate kid i can be a way better girlfriend than all of them y/n
neev no meee!
the imposter as much as i love all these offers you guys don't even know what i look like
elton wdym? we all know what you look like
the imposter well that's not creepy at all i never sent you guys a photo of me wait a second so you guys are stalkers! OMG I KNEW IT!!
elton NO NO NO WE ARE NOT your friend sent us that one time she was on your phone we assumed you knew that
the imposter WAIT WHAT NO I HAD NO CLUE OMG WHAT PHOTO WAS IT?? SHE DELETED IT ON THE CHAT
stairway wait a sec
Tumblr media
the imposter WHATT I DONT EVEN REMEMBER THAT THAT IS SO UNFAIR OMG hang on how do you even have that?
earpsy half of them have it saved on their camera roll in favourites
lauren 1 exposed haha
the REAL karate kid shut up
the imposter ..... um okay then that's not scary at all it isn't even a good photo
neev iSnT eVEn a GoOd PhOTo GURLLL shut upppp you're gorgeous i'll marry you instantly
the imposter aw tyyy ily <33
neev
Tumblr media
the REAL karate kid NAHH BACK UP RN
stairway
Tumblr media
i'm coming for you charles
neev
Tumblr media
elton hold on you guys i just realised
the REAL karate kid oh hell no
Tumblr media
lotte what could she have possibly thought of now
maya everyone prepare yourselves
elton if pregnant women were to go swimming would they be classified as human submarines bcuz you know they're pregnant
the imposter
Tumblr media
earpsy you really have outdone yourself this time
willybum
Tumblr media
neev toone how the hell did you even think of that 😭😭
stairway no but she lowkey has a point tho ... they technically are if you think about it
lotte not you too 😭
the imposter ella bae ily but .....
Tumblr media
the REAL karate kid i second that
elton
Tumblr media
honestly you guys are just jealous jealous of my
Tumblr media
meado
Tumblr media
lord save me
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the imposter how are my favourite stalkers doing? y'all have been quiet lately and i haven't been spammed with notifications from this chat it's kinda concerning hope y'all are doing well
lotte i would say enjoy the silence while it lasts lol but i'm doing well thanks! hope you're having a good day too <3
the imposter that's great to hear, and thank you!! xxx
stairway i'm doing good too!
neev i'm doing alright too thanks
elton oi we don't stalk you .... all the time
the imposter hold on okay i'm back
Tumblr media
willybum WE'RE NOT STALKING YOU 😭
the imposter
Tumblr media
guess this is goodbye my stalkers this has to end 🤝😔
stairway Y/N NOOO
the imposter
Tumblr media
just booked myself some karate lessons see you guys on the streets ✌️
neev oh my god 😭
elton that's it i'm never going outside or leaving my house again
willybum nahhh this isn't fair Y/N come backkk
the REAL karate kid y/n my lovee plsss 🥺 i blame ella for all this
elton oi it's not my fault!
stairway it's okay we'll just wait here .... y/n?
neev okay its been half an hour y/n and still not an answer pls answer
the imposter a bit desperate are we, guys? what if i was just peeing?
stairway no of course not
willybum pfft we're not desperate
lotte um if you were peeing for about 30 mins then i would be seriously concerned and would be booking you a doctor's appointment
the imposter yeah yeah whatever you say, my stalkers :)
part nine here
620 notes · View notes
memospacexx · 2 months
Note
we need a part 2 of the absent father alastor, the first part was amazing 😭
Age wasnt mentioned last part, this pne they are hinted to be 13-16 :3
Im writting this in the passenger seat cos i REALLY LOVE THIS MY GOD
Perhaps this was his punishment all along
To have his own child turn their back on him
But he knows its his fault. As much as he wouldnt admit it to a soul he knows. Hes self aware but it doesnt make things better
After he reappeared when the hotel was fixed, it seems like the child stuck with husk even more, sometimes even downright avoiding him
Him?
But hes their father
HE raised them
Right?
He tried, tried to hard to recall memories to back up his point but he couldn’t. All he could remember was him dropping you on husk
Like some cheep booze.
I suppose this was the weight of his actions
He could do nothing now, but that didnt stop him. Hes a hard headed man afterall
It started with him asking you to accompany him at his radio station, something you loved and begged him to before
Always asked to go with him, oh how you loved his voice
But he never did allow you to
On good days he would, but even then those were rare
So hes the one bringing you now!you wouldnt turn down some time with your deer old dad right? Specially how you used to even beg for his attention.
No? What do you mean no? Dont you love going ? Dont you love radio? Dont you love. Him?
“Uhm no thanks father i wanna watch husk do magic” you could never truly look into his eyes
Even when you called him father it felt so..
Forced.
But he grinned and bared it “I understand little doe! But you know where to find me” he chuckled and walked away
He could do magic too. He could do magic better. So why husk? Hes stronger, more capable of protecting you, he could protect you better than husk ever could, there was no need for you to cower under that horrid sinners wings because your father, your blood, could protect you
But he never did. Not when you got in trouble for running into some loan sharks, he let you fend for yourself
Pain was the best teacher
He would say
So he threw you to the wolves. How ironic.
That ended as horrible as you’d think, the only reason you got out there alive is because vox, yes, him, out of everyone killed the demons when he noticed it was you, he was just passing by, going to another meeting from one he just left
He recognized you, he knew of alastors offspring but never cared for them, his business is with their father. However, even then this was cruel, and he knew that deer was watching everything
He could feel the eyes on him. On them.
Vox watched as you scampered away, like a deer, like a doe.
Even then , he thought alastor would atleast have compassion for the child
His child
But he was wrong, he gave that bastard too much credit.
Even rosie, a demon that doesnt share the same blood as you, treats you kinder than your own
After that incident, you refused to go out as much, opting to stay with …husk.
Husk, dear old husk, he never minded
He hated it at first tho.
Having to babysit, he didnt like you either
But he knows, he KNEW it wasnt your fault either, he knows you wanted to spend time with that absent father of yours
So he tried his best filling that void in your heart, he felt pity for the little child, so he told old stories of his life before he was damned,he says they’re boring but the shine in your eyes and smile on your face whenever he speaks never fails to amaze him
he even taught you how to play poker
Charlie reprimanded him for that, saying he cant teach a child how to gamble
But he didnt care
You were smiling
Laughing
It wasnt much but it was enough
Enough from him
Enough for you.
It made his blood boil, it wasnt fair. Alastor would think
Why cant you look up at him with admiration?like how you always looked when you were younger
Yeah
Maybe this was his punishment.
TAG LIST;: @ghostdoodlen @lixanjewel @crowleysthings
844 notes · View notes
flowerflowerflo · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
girl's guide to academic success: part 1 ⊹˚. ♡
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ organisation
first off, have something to organise ur academic life with! i personally use notion (which i'll add later) but u can use anything as long as it's cute, convenient, unique and accessible to you, your life and your schedule specifically. especially as a visual learner, i like to have somewhere i can dump literally everything regarding a singular area in my life, so i do this for almost everything along with school and i highly recommend this <3
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ recognition of talents & improvements
analyse your strengths and weaknesses. think back on tests, exams, marks, and analyse which ones you got highest and lowest on. dont beat urself up for it, obviously; it's just to check which subjects you're doing good in and which ones have room for improvement. for example i love science but im not the best at it sometimes and we had an assessment recently and i didn't get as high as i'd like so i wrote down a little list on a piece of paper in my pencilcase for the topics i got the least in for me to study on my own to practise later.
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ laying out goals
set down specific goals; i like to do this week by week accustomed to my schedule that week in my school notion page along with images and vision boards based on the term/semester, but you can do it for the week, the month, the year, anything as long as its helpful to you
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ productive planning
plan accordingly based on ur time energy. when creating any to do list or productivity plan dont pile a ridiculous amount onto it that just leaves you stressed and overwhelmed because that defeats the entire point; this works the same for academic plans and goals and lists etc.
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ extra credit
put extra work in to the subjects you know will help you in the future. for example, for my personal aspirations i need to excel in english, history and textiles so i always try my absolute hardest and put my all into those lessons and do extra studying for them in my free time where i can. school is to prepare you for the future so take advantage of that
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ asking questions
please don't be shy to ask questions! that's what teachers are there for and you won't have them forever so take advantage of it while you can! you can even do it in that little window of time just after class if ur too nervous to ask in class. for example, on my last english exam i went to my teacher after class and asked about what i needed to improve on to get the marks i missed next time, and he told me i added too much detail and some other things so i wrote it down and am keeping a note of it to remind me to improve on that next time! (i got top of my class though so i didnt mind. still kind of pissed i added too much detail though)
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ participation
participate! ok im saying this as someone who still struggles with social anxiety a fair amount but if u wanna get higher marks and get on good terms w ur teacher i 100% recommend this. i don't do this in every class but i do it where i can and when i'm confident in my answer, and it's really intimidating at first but what i did is i did it first in the classes i felt most comfortable on and continued from there. it gets easier every time i swear, and nobody's judging you; they'll forget about it after five minutes. plus, what would they be judging you for? being smarter than them?
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ prioritising ur health
this is mentioned a lot in these types of posts but if you're tired or burnt out or overworked or just feel like you need to take a break then do. do the best you can and compromise like i said earlier if you need to, just make sure u are prioritising yourself over anything. <3
inspo ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
my notion ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i also really recommend this layout by @honeytonedhottie, she's amazing go follow her
lots of love! <3
Tumblr media
332 notes · View notes
ohtobeleah · 4 months
Text
Was It Over? // Jake Seresin
-> Chapter Seven: [Faucet Failure]
Summary: Jake makes his way back to you after finding out the truth. While under sedation to give your brain some rest, you remember the good times and the bad with your husband.
Warnings: Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil.
Word Count: 4.6K
Author Note: These chapters keep getting more and more heartbreaking. I can’t even deal. Why did you guys let me do this to y’all?
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
November 22nd
The dim glow of your TV was the only thing in the house that was giving your home any sort of light. The kids had all gone down well, both Lucy and Lennox had swimming practice after school which meant that they were down and out for the count before you even got from their beds back to the door. Sam was easy to get to sleep, he always had been. He was just a naturally sleepy kid. 
The gentle knock against your front door startled you, but didn’t shock you. You knew exactly who it was. It was the same guy who'd given you a tissue to dry your tears, the same guy who sat beside you and kept you company during one of your lowest moments. It was the guy that had turned an overly depressing core memory into one that showed a little humanity, sympathy and understanding. 
“Happy Birthday!” Jensen cooed as he stood at your door with a plastic bag full of Chinese takeout containers full to the very brim. “I didn't know what you liked so I think I got one of everything.” You stood at the threshold of your home just staring at the man who was on your doorstep, who’d insisted on buying you dinner. When you had informed him of your three children, Jensen said he’d have it delivered.
But he didn't specify who’d be delivering it…..
“I hope you weren't expecting a tip.” You smiled as you let Jensen into your home, the unimaginable amount of scattered children's shoes made it look like you were raising a family of caterpillars, but Jensen didn't mind the mess. He understood, his sister had two little girls around about the same age as Lucy and Lennox. 
“But I brought you cheesecake as well?” Jensen smiled back at you in the darkness of the dimly lit hallway. “Can’t have a birthday without cake.” 
“I don't even remember the last time someone brought me any form of cake.” You sighed as you politely took the cheesecake in its cake box. Jensen frowned in response as he watched you hit the light switch in the hallway that led to the kitchen. 
“Didn't your husband ever buy you a birthday cake?” He called out as he followed you deeper into your humble abode. It was a simple question that carried far too much weight than you were ready to truly unpack. You'd told Jensen in one of your many conversations since you first met about how you and Jake were separated due to circumstances that weren’t fair to either one of you. Jensen never pressed for more information than you were willing to give. 
“He used to.” You shrugged. “I can't remember the year he stopped, hell–I can't really even pinpoint when he stopped caring but eventually he did and soon enough my birthday just became another day.” It was hard to admit, but Jensen made opening up about your marital struggles easy, you never really confided in anyone about any of it. He had a non-biased opinion. “But I loved Jake, I still do, at the time I guess I didn't care that I was getting a fraction of what I deserved because a fraction of him was better than nothing at all.” The tears were there, they were ready to spill over your lower last line. But you never let them fall as Jensen sat down at your kitchen bench and opened up the bag of chinese food. “But it all got too much– or too little, I suppose.” 
“Have you told him about the cancer yet?” Jensen asked softly, he wasn't pressing, he was just asking. 
“I still dont think I’m going to–he probably wouldn't care, I mean he forgot my birthday.” Again you shrugged it off like it was no big deal. “I highly doubt he’d care about some cancer diagnosis.” 
“Are you sure he wouldn't care? Or have you just convinced yourself he wouldn't because it hurts less to believe he doesn't care than it does to believe he does?” When you answered Jensen's heart sank. He saw the tears in your eyes, the look of heartbreak that reflected from your very soul. The longingness in your expression. He saw right through the wall you tried so hard to protect yourself with. He saw it all. Which is why when your voice cracked and your support beams held together by caffeine and your need to keep a normal routine for your children in place, faltered, Jensen sighed. 
“It didn't take much convincing–”
“Y/n–”
“How was Chemo today?” You tried your best to change the subject as you grabbed some cutlery. The chair beside Jensen at your kitchen counter looked awfully comfortable. 
“Consider my follicles fried.” Jensen chuckled as you handed him a spoon. “Now don't change the subject, we’re talking about you and this husband of yours, who, I'm convinced, is a few screws short of a hardware store.” 
“Oh yeah? Why's that?” You weren't sure if you wanted to know, but what you did know was that Jake wasn’t here. He’d sent you a message earlier in the day but you were yet to respond. You felt that if you replied it would open a floodgate of vulnerability. But soon enough Jensens words had you in a freefall of wondering if it was truly over between you and Jake–
“Because I don't think anyone who's lucky enough to love you would ever put themselves in a position to lose you.” 
Or not. 
***~***~***~**~***~
“Look left for me?” Doctor Ignatii spoke as he shined his little pen light in your eyes. “And right?” You did as you were told although you just wanted to be left alone. “Count to five for me?” You almost rolled your eyes as Doctor Ignatii stepped away and walked closer to your feet. 
“One, two, three, four, five.” You slowly counted. “Do I get a gold star?” Doctor Ignatii didn’t take your foul attitude to heart, he dealt with people like you every day—over the years you tend to develop pretty thick skin. 
“Possibly, if you can wiggle your toes and touch your nose?” He asked through a smile as he began to feel your feet. “Wiggle please Mrs Seresin.” 
“This better not be my audition tape for the Madden Brothers Circus.” You didn’t mean to take your hostility out on the doctor who had saved your life, but there was a small part of you that wished he would have just let the blood clot do its damage. You did what you were told once more and wiggled your toes and touched your nose. “Look at me go.”
“Well—“ Doctor Ignatii chuckled to himself as he filled out your charts on his iPad. “You don’t seem to be showing any immediate deficits post surgery, I’d like to give your brain a chance to rest for another ten to twelve hours before we get you out of bed for a little bit of a walk.” You listened to what your doctor was saying as your mother came back into the room, you didn’t know it but Jake had just landed and was heading right over. 
“Does that mean I get more of these awesome drugs?” You asked playfully, your mother even swore you were flirting. Doctor Ignatii was very handsome with brown hair and dark skin. He smiled at your forwardness but nodded in response. He was also used to this. 
“We’ll give you another sedative to make sure you're able to rest, you’ll probably feel like you got hit by a bus when you wake up but it’ll give us a clearer indication if you’ll face any deficits going forward.” 
“You reckon breast cancer’s a deficit?” You couldn't stop thinking about the dream you had about Jake. it felt so real, like your own personal rolodex of memories was trying its best to show you the good times. For whatever reason that may be you had no idea, but, you really had to ground yourself in your own reality. Jake wasn't the Jake from your memories anymore, although you desperately wished he was. He was now the Jake who couldn't remember your birthday or to fill your Christmas stocking on Christmas. He was the guy who let you peel your own oranges after he’d done it for so many years. 
He was the guy who had fallen out of love with you. 
“I do, but your double mastectomy has been rescheduled for Christmas Eve. So what better way to wake up on Christmas morning knowing your chance of kicking cancer's ass just went up by thirty five percent?” It was your turn to smile at Doctor Ignatii as he ended the conversation about your cancer at that. “I’ll send in a nurse to admit the sedative, mum? She’ll be out for a minimum of ten hours while on the IV, you should take the time to get some rest too.” 
“Sure thing Doc.” Your mother answered as she watched him walk away. “Were you flirting with that man?” 
“No harm, he’s seen the inside of my brain, can’t get more intimate then that can you?” You were probably putting on a braver face then you felt but your mother could tell you were nervous about the sedative.. 
“I’ll stay with you for the entire time you're sleeping.” She cooed as she pushed your hair behind your hair. She noticed how stands fell almost with the gust of her fingertip. The chemo was killing your hair follicles. “You won’t be alone.” 
“Thanks.” Was all you said as Lydia came into your room ready to set your IV drop up. “I hope you’ve done this before, kid.” 
“Absolutely Mrs Seresin.” Lydia chuckled, she felt a lot better after a full eight hours of sleep. “I’ll just get this sorted and you’ll be good to go.” As Lydia set up your IV, you had just rough energy to send one message to a dear friend you thought should know about your current state. Your mother watched as you typed out a really quick message with one hand. 
You: “Had a stroke, in hospital, surgery rescheduled.” 
“Promise you’ll stay?” You asked your mum one more time as you saw her reading a text. A text from your ex husband telling her he was about twenty minutes away and running off the five hours of sleep he got before his world got flipped on its head. 
“You’re not going be alone sweetheart.” Your mother answered rather cryptically. As your eyelids grew heavier and heavier. “You’re not gonna be alone.” 
***~***~***~**~***~
“I'm here.” Jake had taken the next flight back to Rhode Island that he could, he didn't have time to waste when it came to getting back to you. He was tired, emotionally exhausted from everything he had learnt of your condition and dishevelled beyond belief. He was sure someone threw a dollar down at him while he was sitting on the floor at the airport next to a charging port. He looked so distressed and dishevelled that someone thought he was homeless. 
He kept that dollar though. 
“Okay, ask the main reception to point you in the direction of oncology and we’re in room 306.” Your mother replied over the phone, Jake had called her about fifteen minutes after you had been administered your sedative. 
Jake felt his heart in the back of his throat as he took the elevator up to the level the lady at the reception desk in the main lobby of the Rhode Island hospital had told him to go to. Oncology equals cancer, you had cancer, breast cancer, you had a stroke, strokes can kill you, cancer can kill you. 
Jake had thought about nothing else since he got on his flight, the idea that you were sick, that you were so sick you couldn't even tell him broke his heart more than you leaving him ever could. There was once a time where Jake thought you could tell him anything, that you were able to come to him with any problem you had or were facing. 
He couldn't pinpoint exactly when you stopped telling him things, or more importantly when he’d stopped listening. Jake couldn't help but to blame himself for feeling like he’d somewhat put you into this situation where you felt like you couldn't rely on him to step up when you needed him to. You were sick and you needed support, he was supposed to be that support, but instead you kept him in the dark like he didn't deserve to know you were ill. 
Maybe he didn't deserve to know, but either way Jake was walking towards room 306 where your mother had told him to go. He brought his duffel with him, Jake made no plans to leave your bedside for the duration of your stay. However long that may be, he was gonna be by your side. 
And the second he got to the threshold of your hospital room, Jake Seresin forgot what it was like to be able to breathe on his own accord. 
“Oh Honey.” He cooed as his bottom lip quivered, your Mother tried her best to remain a strong presence but at the sight of Jake crumbling under the weight of the idea he’d lose you twice over made her eyes water. “Oh my sweet girl.” 
***~***~***~**~***~
“Jake!” You shouted out throughout the house as Lucy and Lenny watched over baby Sam as they ate lunch in the living room.“Jake!” 
“What?” Jake called back to you from the back deck where he was busy doing absolutely nothing but enjoying a beer with his feet up and his sunglasses on. He just needed twenty minutes. Sam had been a handful today and ever since Jake got home he’d wanted nothing more than to use his body as a jungle gym. 
“The faucet in the ensuite won’t stop leaking, can you please tighten it before you get too comfortable.” You asked as politely as you could with a soft smile. 
“Sure, yeah I’ll put it on the list.” Jake shrugged your request off like it was nothing but another chore you were commanding him to do. When Jake didn’t budge, you crossed your arms over your chest and pressed the issue further. 
“It’s just that I’m trying to work on my new book and I can’t concentrate with the dripping.” You were in the middle of your latest project. A new book proposal your editors were waiting on. 
“I said I’d get to it Hon, just—why don’t you try writing somewhere else besides your desk? Or better yet, shut the ensuite door?” Jake couldn’t see the rage burning in your eyes when he told you to basically deal with it until he could be arsed to get up. 
“Jake please?” You begged, it wasn’t the first time you’d asked Jake to fix the leaky faucet but it would be the last. It was one the few final straws that broke your back before you decided enough was enough and you couldn’t stay in your marriage any longer. “I need you to do this one thing for me so I can work in peace.” 
“If it’s so important that it needs to be fixed right this second Hon just fix it yourself?” Jake argued back as he took a sip of his beer, it had been a long week for him and he needed a moment to relax. “You know how to fix a leak.” 
“I already tried!” You shouted back loud enough to finally have Jake taking his glasses off to look at you properly. “I’m trying to work, I’ve had the kids all week and I need to get these last few chapters done before next Friday and you go back to work on Monday.” You saw the look Jake gave you, one of annoyance and frustration, like you were some kind of parasite trying to ruin his day off to relax and enjoy some rest and rejuvenation before Monday rolled around again. 
“Honey if you let me sit here for twenty minutes I will fix the fucking leak for you.” He tried to hide his disdain but you could read it through the lines on his face. “I’m not sure why you can’t just write somewhere where you can’t fucking hear it but I’ll fix it the minute I’m done drinking my beer.” 
“Alright.” You pressed your lips together and tried not to let your anger boil over. “Alright I can live with that.”
“Hallelujah, she can live with compromise.” Jake sassed as he took another sip of his beer. You chose not to respond as you headed back inside the home you both shared with a feeling of under appreciated value looming over your head. What did Jake mean by compromise? You did so much and more for him, why was it such an issue that you’d asked him to fix a faucet. 
He never did get around to fixing it like he said he would. Twenty minutes turned to two hours, which turned to two days, months and eventually It was only when the both of you decided to sell the property when you said you were leaving, that he noticed the leak was never fixed. 
You never did finish that draft, the book that remained unpublished and half finished. You kept the google doc on your laptop and sometimes you thought about picking the project back up. But you never did, you never had time to, not while you were on the cusp of divorce and raising three children all on your own. 
“I uh—I fixed the faucet.” Jake sheepishly told you as he made his way into the kitchen to see you packing plates and bowls and cutlery into moving boxes. 
“The faucet I asked you to fix back in October?” You replied harshly while trying not to look at the man who forgot where you should have been on his priority list. “Glad I compromised on that one for this long.” You hissed, it had only been four days since you told Jake you were leaving, that you were moving back into your mothers place with the kids until you found somewhere to live. 
“Honey—“ 
“Please don’t call me that.” You asked rather simply as Jake's heart broke before you. He was losing his wife, his kids and didn’t know how to fix what he’d unintentionally broken. 
“Don’t go, we can fix this, I don’t want you to go.” 
“Well unfortunately this isn’t about you Jake.” You tried to keep your voice down so that you wouldn’t alert the kids to your argument. If there was one thing you weren’t going to do it was fight in front of your children and subject them to that environment. “Tell me, it’s January right now isn’t it?”
“Yeah?” Jake wasn’t sure what you were getting at as he watched you pack the boxes of things you were taking with you. 
“When’s my birthday?” You asked like he should have known that answer off the top of his head, because he should have and he did. 
“Novem—oh fuck Y/n no hold on a minute.” Jake couldn’t find the words he wanted to say at that moment, how could he forget your birthday? He missed it entirely and you said not a single thing about it. 
“My stocking was the only one empty at Christmas, not a single present under the tree was mine, you know why that is? It’s because for four years I’ve brought my own damn presents and gotten my own fucking birthdays cake, you don’t give a shit about fixing a goddamn fosset so I can focus on work let alone the little things.” You hissed before you tried to calm yourself down and get back to packing. Jake just stood there speechless looking like he hadn’t slept a wink in days. He hadn’t, not since you told him you were done and that you needed a break. 
“I can fix this, please.” Jake was begging you to stay, he didn’t want to lose the one person who meant more to him than life itself. “Just don’t leave me.” 
“There isn’t enough room for me in your life Jake, and instead of being selfish and trying to change you I’d rather let you go to be yourself. People change.” You shrugged. Staying now would have killed you, Jake felt you slipping through his fingers in real time as he watched you wrap up the mugs you were taking in old newspaper. “I sure never thought the man I married would change into someone I don’t even know.” 
***~***~***~**~***~
Jake was at a loss for words when he stepped into your hospital room. The Christmas lights that shimmered around the room were a stark contrast to the plethora of machines that were scattered around your bedside.
“I thought since she’s sleeping the blinds should be shut.” Jake could just barely make out what your mother had told him as she rose to greet him with open arms. He couldn’t peel his eyes off you for even a second as the woman who had become his second mother took him in a warm loving embrace. “She’ll be out for a while sweetheart, they gave her a sedative to help her brain rest.” 
“How long?” Jake asked as he held your mother tight. 
“About ten—maybe twelve hours, she only just started the drip.” 
“Oh—okay, yeah no that.” Jake tried to hold himself together but the damn was breaking. “That’s probably for the b-bet—oh god.” Jake Seresin had never felt his entire body crumbled into someone the way he felt his body crumble into your mothers arms. 
“Oh my boy it’s alright, she’s alive, she’s gonna be okay.” Your mother tried her best to soothe Jake's cries but she knew it was coming from a place of love and undeniable sadness. “Here, sit down, I’ll go get you a coffee and something to eat.” 
Jake took a seat next to your bedside and immediately reached out for your hand. He knew you were under and wouldn’t know he was there but he still brought your palm up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to your hand. 
“Oh Honey I’m so sorry this is happening to you.” He sobbed quietly as your mother stood behind him. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know.” 
“She hasn’t told anyone but me Jake, not her friends or her brother.” It was hard to process the sight before him, the love of Jake's life surrounded by machines, hooked by cords and wires and monitors that told him although your eyes were closed you were in fact, alive. “I don’t think she wanted you to know because she’s just so scared despite how she might put on a brave face.” 
“Or she thought I wouldn’t care.” Jake mumbled as he reached out to make sure your hair was resting behind your ear, part of your head had been shaved from surgery, but Jake never expected the hair he tried to move back behind your ear to fall out at his touch. “Oh my god—“
“She’s been on oral chemotherapy since her biopsy came back cancerous, she needed you to take the kids so she could start more aggressive IV chemo.” 
“Her hair’s already falling out?” Jake had never felt this way before, so rendered powerless. He’d taken a life before and saved many, but watching you right now was the most powerless he’d ever felt. Jake caught the sight of your phone flashing with a new message with a name he didn't recognise. There was no time to ask you about the message he saw, but jake knew maybe, just maybe, you had lied when you told him there was no other guy. 
Jensen: “Oh shit, I'll swing by once I'm out of the woods.”
“Aggressive cancer needs aggressive treatment sweetheart.” Your mother leaned in to kiss the top of Jake's head. “I’ll be back, coffee and a sandwich will do you good.” 
“Thanks Maz.” Jake sighed as he kept your hand up near his mouth as he leaned his elbows on the side of your bed. “Oh Honey, Honey, Honey—what have we become?”
***~***~***~***~***~***
Your honeymoon was the most beautiful trip you’d ever gone on. Jake Seresin was very much a summer man. He loved when the sun was shining and the water was cool and the beers were as refreshing as they ever could be. 
The resort in Bali that the two of you were staying at for the entire two weeks was nothing but picturesque with stunningly gorgeous gardens and extraordinary architecture. The pool you were sitting on the edge of was just one of the many pools that you and Jake had yet to visit. He stood on the ledge of the rock waterfall and smiled ear to ear. 
“I’m not resuscitating you when you slip and hit your head!” You called out through a beaming smile. 
“Reckon I could clear a backflip?” Jake asked childishly as he climbed to the very top. His abs looked far too perfect to be real as he stood tall and flexed just for you, his wife. 
“Jake Seresin, don't you dare!” You warned as you looked over your sunglasses at your childish husband. He was everything any more, how you got so lucky you'd never understand. The two of you had decided on a small elopement style wedding that saw only a handful of your closest family members in attendance. The both of you saw no need for over the top extremities and thoughts of dollars spent on a single night. You thought why not use the money on a holiday getaway, your dream honeymoon. After Rodney had gone on his happiness never ends tangent, Jake wished the two of you had just gone down to town hall. 
“Live a little Mrs Seresin!” Jake shouted as he took the leap of faith and backflipped off the very top of the man made rock waterfall that cascaded down into the crystal clear pool. The two of you were the only guests in sight which you were so thankful for when Jake came belly flopping down into the water with a crisp slap. 
“Oh!” You cringed hard as your husband hit the water. “That's gotta hurt the ego buddy.” You giggled as you watched Jake swim under the water closer to the edge where you sat just relaxing in the smallest bikini known to mankind. “Jake?” You asked as he crept closer and closer under the water. Your eyes never left his swimming silhouette until he was jumping up right in front of you to rest his elbows on the edge of the pool right in front of you. 
“My execution was a little off.” He grinned as you leaned in to give him a kiss. Unbeknownst to you though as your lips pressed against your husbands, his hands snakes around your waist to quickly drag you into the water where Jake needed you to be. With him, forever. 
“JAKE!” You shouted as you fell into the pool. Jake couldn't contain his laughter. Thank god he remembered you knew how to swim. 
“Yes Honey?” He cooed as you resurfaced with a gasp. 
“You’re a child!” 
“Uh no–I'm not.” Jake made sure to correct you as he pulled you closer under the water. His hand explored your ass as he wrapped your legs around his waist and held you up against him. You could feel his hard on pressing against your core, it wouldn't take much at all for him to slip out of his trunks and into you if he wanted to. 
“But if you want I can show you how they're made?”
***~***~***~***~***~***~
Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @mamachasesmayhem @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream @maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional @jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere @lafrone @fanficfandomlove @withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog @goldenseresinretriever @a-reader-and-a-writer @sunlightmurdock @shelbycillian @memoriesat30 @accioprocrastination @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes @eternallyvenus @emma8895eb
242 notes · View notes
sohnric · 2 months
Text
bad idea, right? – k. sunwoo
Tumblr media
pairing: soundcloud rapper! sunwoo x gn! reader
genre: exes to lovers, angst, suggestive. i know this is toxic as fuck dont @ me sometimes i like to write shit like this because it's realistic...
word count: 4k
warnings: a whole lot of arguing, swearing, both of them being toxic and childish, a heated makeout session, overall just..messy. so messy.
a/n: similivinlife u inspired this. not my proudest moment but oh well 😵 the original of this draft was for the fic dancing in my backseat on @rrxnjun that i didnt end up using and revamped for this, so if u see any similarities it is because both fics are mine :P and once again, as always, thank u @csenke my sweetest beloved for beta reading 🤍
Tumblr media
“I don’t think you can imagine the things I have to deal with about that track, like, I was literally in the town yesterday and around six people stopped me and wanted the backstory and I don’t know what, and it’s really, really annoying–”
Your voice cuts off, being replaced by a beat that makes acid taste on your tongue and hair stand up all alert, like a feral cat’s would when you try to get close to it, making you immediately turn off the song, letting a scream out into your pillow. There’s a storm of emotions inside of you as you take the phone you’ve been listening to the new song on back into your hand and pull up his number– because you blocked him everywhere else in hopes of never seeing his face again– and shoot him an angry text about the matter.
you [7:21pm]: are you kidding me???
you [7:21pm]: you are really so damn egoistical for doing this 
you [7:21pm]: really don’t think about anyone else except yourself huh
you [7:21pm]: ignore my messages again like the last time and i swear to god i’ll send someone to beat your ass
Fingers quicker than your own thoughts, you hammer down the messages on the keyboard, laced with the fury that’s been shaking with you ever since you learned that he released a new track that included yet another one of your voice messages you sent to him. It was excruciating to listen to, to say the least– your dignity stripped away slowly, piece by piece with the unsettling realization that your personal matters are now out there in the open, for everyone to see and judge, for the whole world to pick apart and analyze. Which is kind of funny, considering the nature of your breakup– you’re not so sure his fans would like what they would find out about him, had they dug deep enough.
Not saying that you are innocent in this matter, of course– you just don’t think it’s really fair to not have the platform to tell your side of the story.
don’t pick up [7:24pm]: feisty one aren’t ya
don’t pick up [7:24pm]: what’s this about
Clenching your jaw as you stare at the messages popping up on your screen only a few minutes after yours get delivered– which is unusual for him, to say the least– you work your way through another angry reply.
you [7:25pm]: your song???
don’t pick up [7:25pm]: did you like it? ;)
A dry chuckle escapes your throat at the last message. Of course you didn’t like it. You weren’t really a fan of the invasion of your privacy. You didn’t like the fact that he once again used your voice without permission, letting the whole world listen to your angry words that were addressed to him and only him. What was there for you to like about the song? His cheesy lyrics? The way he acted like he was way above you, belittling you with the power he had over you with all those voice messages? 
you [7:26pm]: yes i loved the invasion of my privacy a lot, thank you sunwoo
you [7:26pm]: isnt this illegal? ill look into it
don’t pick up [7:27pm]: now you’re being ridiculous.. its just a song y/n :) 
Was he being serious? Just a song? What about the prying eyes staring at you whenever you walk through the campus? What about the whispering behind your back whenever you sit in the school cafeteria? The pointed fingers whenever someone recognises that it’s you– the one that dated the good-for-nothing Soundcloud rapper and then broke his poor little heart. Was it ever really just a song?
you [7:28pm]: you cant be fr rn..
don’t pick up [7:33pm]: ah…let’s just talk abt it then
don’t pick up [7:33pm]: i’ll pick u up at 8? 
Staring at the messages on the screen, you let out another dry chuckle. The skin of your fingertips tingles when you swipe across the surface of your phone, opening the messaging app once again and tapping on the little bubble on the bottom, making the keyboard appear. The gears in your brain turn in swift motion as you try to sound nonchalant in your response, typing and deleting the message again, never getting the tone quite right. 
Responding to your ex boyfriend’s jabs and teasing in person seems to be easier for you, contrary to popular demand– you don’t have much time to think of your answer before the time frame between your arguments would turn too awkward with the silence, so you just say the first thing that comes to your mind. It comes naturally to you, though, and while you don’t particularly enjoy the fury and adrenaline that his smug smirks and jarring words make you feel, the tension his sudden messages built up only makes you more hesitant. 
You haven’t met up with Kim Sunwoo since the day you ended things, and you know damn well there’s a good reason for it.
Seeing him around campus or at parties of your mutual friends is a whole other thing than being with him in a closed space, all alone. It’s been a month since you ended things and while you are fairly certain that Sunwoo is a major jerk that is out to ruin your life, you can’t really tell if you’re actually over the major jerk that is out to ruin your life.
Seemingly letting Sunwoo know that you have the chat open, letting him watch your chat bubble pathetically appear and disappear in consistent time intervals, another quick message is shot your way, making your heart drum against your rib cage in even swifter motions. Running your hand through your hair, you sigh and drop the phone into your lap, helpless.
don’t pick up [7:40pm]: i’ll take it as yes
Sighing to yourself, you stand up from your bed and put on some presentable clothes. You don’t want to give Sunwoo any ideas, and that’s why you only change into clean sweatpants and a tank top, not putting much effort into your appearance at all. You need to send him the signal of being nonchalant– although your stance on the way he uses you in his songs is full of anger and resentment, you don’t want it to seem like you care much about the man himself at all.
Dragging yourself out of your room and putting on your shoes, you bump into your roommate Aeri passing you by with a mug of tea, her hair in a towel as she just came out of the shower. “You’re going somewhere?” 
“Going out,” you grunt.
“Oh?” she hums, leaning into the doorframe, “with who?”
The question catches you off guard. Turning around on your heel, you flash her an innocent smile, brain thinking of every possible solution you could use to not tell her that you’re going out with the exact person you’ve spent the last few weeks grunting over in dismay. “No one important,” you start, when her face morphs into a distressed frown.
“Is it Sunwoo?”
“Look, I-”
“It is fucking Sunwoo! I heard you scream into your pillow just now, I should’ve known it was that prick again,” she grunts, her guess confirmed by the very obvious discomfort on your face, suddenly in a hurry when you try to get out of the house in one swift motion and save yourself from the cross-examining conversation that’s surely about to happen judging by the look in Aeri’s face.
“I gotta go-”
“What about all your ‘I don’t ever wanna see him again’ talk?” she sighs, clearly disappointed with your life choices. 
“Look, it’s about the songs he’s been putting out. He’s being an ass about replying back to my messages and god knows I’m not calling him, or else he’d record it and put it in another song like the freak he is,” you squint your eyes at her, making sure your intentions are clear to your worried roommate. 
“Oh, right, because he’s going out with you just to talk,” she mutters, “when all you two have done since you broke up is argue. Mhm, seems about correct,” Aeri adds, making the situation even worse than it already was, because she’s right, after all– when have the two of you held a normal conversation in the past few weeks? Seeing him tonight might just be the worst idea of your life– right after deciding to date him, of course– and you’re completely aware of the fact.
Opening your mouth to answer with a jarring comment meant to put your roommate back in her place, the words are taken off your tongue when you hear the ring of your phone, the notification on your screen flashing with his messages.
don’t pick up [8:04pm]: youre 5 mins late
don’t pick up [8:05pm]: come out
“Look, I gotta go. We’ll talk about this later,” you mumble as you take your bag off the hanger, Aeri’s disapproving eyes following you as you head towards the door. 
“Right. Have fun,” she ironically sings, knowing very well what Kim Sunwoo’s intentions are for the night. Still, you fakely gag to her comment before you’re out the door and walking down the entryway.
As your figure walks out of the apartment complex, you almost don’t notice the man. You were expecting him to be waiting just behind the door, resting against the wall as he usually did back when you two were dating. The sight that meets your eye shocks you a little when you find him leaning against a 2007 Audi A4, the silver exterior of the car contrasting with the darkness of his clothes, hands folded on his chest as he watches you with an overly-confident smirk. 
“Took you long enough,” he teases as you finally cut through the distance. 
“Didn’t know you were so eager to see me,” you bite back, eyes scanning the vehicle. “Did you finally get a car with that new profession of yours? Or is that another one of your friend’s again?” you point towards the car, making the boy chuckle.
“Mine,” he says, “my ‘good-for-nothing career’ is taking off, as you may have noticed,” he hums, referencing all the arguments you two used to have about his dreams and ambitions, making you wince a little at the comment. You never believed in him ever making it big– you just didn’t think his dreams were ever really realistic– but judging by the way it’s been going for him, you must admit you may have been wrong with your snarky arguments before.
“Well, it’s not much, then,” you mutter instead, pretending to judge the state of his old, used-looking car.
“Gets the job done,” he shrugs as he peels himself off the door, opening the passenger side and sparing you a short glance. “Hop in?”
Sunwoo doesn’t wait for you to sit down so he can close the door after you– instead, he walks around the front of the car to the driver’s side, getting in himself– much to the gentleman he’s always been. Making sure you slam the door shut with as much force as you can, just to anger the man and his new toy, you fasten your seatbelt and watch as Sunwoo winces, but doesn’t mention it when he turns the engine on with a turn of the key and drives off the parking lot.
“Where are you taking me?” you ask, watching as the male snickers to himself. The calmness of his composure makes you oh so annoyed, making you despise every second spent together with him in the small space breathing in his cologne and listening to the songs playing through the speakers, reminding you of the playlist he’d always put on when he was given the privilege of the aux cord.
“What? Are you scared I’m gonna kill you?” Sunwoo jokes.
“Seeming that you’re batshit crazy, one can’t know what to expect from you nowadays,” you grunt, making him cheese with amusement.
“I thought I was just ‘a loser Soundcloud rapper that can’t do anything in life’,” he repeats to you a sentence you uttered out upon your breakup, the emotions getting the worst out of you after the way he’s been treating you. “Would a loser like me kill you? I don’t think so.”
“Very funny, Sunwoo,” you ironically bite back, rolling your eyes at his composure. The fact that he seemingly has the upper hand on you in the conversation makes you falter a little bit. “I just wanted to talk about the songs you’ve been putting out.”
“You wanted to tell me how much you like them? Thank you, I’m flattered–”
“No, you idiot. I wanted to talk to you about how uncomfortable they’re making me feel!” you yell out, making the male wince. 
There’s a momentarily silence in the car as the male drives, the streetlamps disappearing out of sight as he drives away from the city, into more sparse areas. His voice is a little more serious when he speaks up now, the lack of teasing in his tone making shivers run down your spine. “I don’t think it’s that serious, really.”
“Really?” you chuckle. “Because I don’t find it fun when people stop me on the street and ask all about our relationship, Sunwoo. Because I don’t know if you noticed, but you never asked for my permission when you used those.”
The sound of your own voice resonates through your brain, the first voice message he ever used in one of his songs (the one that made him finally more popular, funnily enough) making you sigh out in the darkness of the car. ‘Just.. I dunno, I said sorry, I apologized, I don’t know what more you want me to do.. like, what’s going on? Literally nothing, so like.. can’t we just… move on from this and… fucking let it go?’
“One would think you’d stop sending me these after the first one,” Sunwoo utters out, voice low and almost a little amused, which makes you tip over the edge.
“And I would think you wouldn’t use audio of me being vulnerable with you in a fucking song that everyone would hear, Sunwoo!” 
“Oh, did you mean that part where you called me a hypocrite for hanging out with my friends from high school without telling you? Or the part where you cursed me out after you broke up with me because I dared to text you again–”
“I was trying to pierce things back together!” you yell, making the male quiet down, resulting in taking a right turn towards a dead-end, the road approaching a forest. Not a single soul is to be found around here except the two of you, and when he turns the engine off, but stays staring ahead of him towards the trees, you continue with everything you’ve been holding inside of you– instead this time, your voice is more quiet, not having to scream over the sounds of the car anymore.
“I was apologizing. I was trying to make us work, Sunwoo. And just because you didn’t see it or didn’t have it in you to pay attention to me that night, it doesn’t give you the right to exploit me for your gain and make a fool out of me in front of everyone,” you say, watching as the male chews on the inside of his cheek.
“You are the one that broke up with me,” he says into the silence, “not the other way around.” 
A moment of silence hangs over you two like a heavy jacket. You were well aware of the fact– you broke up with Sunwoo after the night he went out with all of his female friends from high school, not telling you a thing about it before you found out through an Instagram story of one of them. You knew he was being petty, you knew he was doing it just to get back at you– because you never passed out on a chance to make him feel jealous, getting back at him for all the controlling comments he would make whenever you went out to clubs with your girlfriends– but it still drove you up against the wall and made you break.
Maybe you and Sunwoo weren’t made for each other. There’s no denying that you loved each other– you just didn’t really know how to handle your relationship. You never really learned how to handle problems. How to resolve issues. Both of you were too immature for the other, and it would never work– you only came to this conclusion after many tear-filled evenings, but coming to peace with it is still yet to come.
“I don’t see how that’s relevant to this conversation,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief.
The male scoffs, turning his head towards you, meeting your eye. “Did you even listen to the songs?” 
“Of course I did, how else would I know–”
“Then you must have noticed that I’m not making fun of you, or putting you on blast, or belittling you, or whatever you and your friends have said about me for the past month,” he counts on his fingers as he recites the words with an annoyed tone, big eyes bearing into yours. 
“You exposed me being vulnerable.”
“I’m vulnerable in these too!” he urges out, eyebrows furrowing at you in exasperation.
“That’s your fucking choice! Don’t drag me into it!”
While you must admit that none of the lyrics Sunwoo’s ever written about you were lies, or making fun of you or throwing harsh words in your direction, you still feel as if a chunk of you has been thrown out in the open, for anyone to pick apart and poke around. You always told Sunwoo you liked his way with words, and there is no denying that his lyrics, although they were painfully honest, were quite beautiful. If you weren’t the one the songs were about, maybe you’d even like them. Maybe you could give them a listen without feeling like you want to crawl out of your skin. Maybe you could add them to your playlist without feeling ashamed that you’re still thinking about the male, picking apart your relationship like every outsider has been doing since the songs went viral, but instead, finding places where you could’ve done things differently and kept him by your side.
It was hard to listen to his words and see the reflections of your past flashing in front of your eyes like a movie. While you admit that he did the timeline of your relationship justice, you do despise the fact that his words are getting to you so much. 
You don’t like hearing about the things you’ve done wrong. You don’t like listening to him apologize– although he would never do so directly. You don’t like to hear him say that he misses you, because it makes it hard for you to keep your fair distance from him.
“I don’t know what I was thinking… Can you drive me home, Sunwoo? We’re clearly not on the same page about this,” you say, averting your gaze from him towards the window.
“No.”
“Sunwoo, can you please drive me–”
“Not until we talk about this, no,” he says firmly, watching you foam over with fury.
“What else is there to talk about?”
“Us!”
“There’s no us anymore, Sunwoo! And I think it’s the time you come to terms with that and stop abusing our failed relationship for your stupid songs,” you bark, throwing daggers into his skull with your fierce eyes.
“So you get to go and post angry tweets and badmouth me in front of your friends, but when I cope in a perfectly respectful manner, it’s wrong?” he argues, scoffing and shaking his head at you.
“God, you’re unbelievable. You’re comparing two vastly different things–”
“Do you not like the songs because you feel exposed, or do you not like them because I’m saying exactly what you don’t want to hear?” he asks, eyes bearing into yours with such heaviness you feel like you could cut the tension with a knife.
“Like what? That you think I regret breaking up with you?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief.
“Why else would you pick a fight with me every time I call? Why pick it up at all?”
“Why do you call, then?” you challenge him, chewing on the bottom of your lip. The male leans closer to you, sparks dancing in his eyes when his voice resonates through the car like a low thunder, making the tips of your fingertips buzz and your heart beat faster.
“You know exactly why I call.”
“To make me angry and get me to scream at you?”
“If that means I get to talk to you,” he shrugs, a subtle grin overtaking his features, a churn of your stomach warning you of the dangerous area you just entered.
Eyes never breaking contact with his, relishing in the way his hungry gaze picks you apart, you attempt to conceal your true feelings with an annoyed comment. “This isn’t going anywhere,” you muse, “god, I never wanna see your face again.”
He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, teasing you. “That’s what you said last time,” he says, “so what are you doing in my car then, babydoll?”
The pet name makes your stomach drop, the lightness in your head coming back to you as you furrow your brows at the male, trying hard to come up with a smart remark. Your brain turns into liquid and there’s buzzing in your ears as you try to focus on staying calm and true to your best judgment, but the moment Sunwoo’s head leans even closer to your face, his words render you both speechless and thoughtless as he mutters a sentence that’s barely louder than a whisper, yet powerful enough to pull you in.
“Stop fighting me for once, will you?”
Your lips are pushed against his with force, the kiss mirroring the essence of being starved of each other for the past month. His plush lips move against yours with the skill that only a man you’ve spent tens and hundreds of nights kissing would acquire, his hand placed on your jaw to steady you, adjusting the pace of his kisses just the way you always liked it. 
A force that’s greater than yourself brings you out of your seat and into the driver’s lap, giving the male better access to your throat as you settle comfortably under your newly acquired human chair. His strong thighs flex under you when you thread your fingers through his hair, bringing him back up to connect your lips together before he breathlessly pulls away, gazing at you with a boyish grin on his face.
“Why did we even break up again?” he jokes.
You reply to him with the same lightness of your tone, shrugging. “Because you were a jealous, possessive prick and I had a short temper that always egged you on?” you say, watching as the male pretends to ponder on the information, humming to himself.
“I think I can put that past me.”
“Can you?” you joke, tracing his cheekbone with your thumb, a sly smirk playing with your lips as you lean over him and press a firm, yet short peck to his swollen lips. “Or will you make another mediocre song about it?”
“Don’t call them mediocre,” he squints at you, eyes tracing your face when your hands slip further down his face to cradle his jaw, thumbs padding his lips.
“I easily outdid you on your own song, Kim Sunwoo.”
“That’s why I add you in, actually.”
“Really?” you snicker, tone full of fake disbelief. His hands hold your sides when you lean over the man and latch yourself to his neck, dragging out kisses up and down his warm skin. “Will you make a song for each of our arguments, then?” 
Teeth scraping the skin of his throat, you find the male humming under you in pleasure and satisfaction. He has you right where he wanted you– and although this is not how you imagined the night to go, you don’t find yourself disappointed with the turn of events. The previous annoyance is still there, but now is shielded by the need in you, the longing for him you can’t really battle whenever he is around.
Settling deeper against his body, you feel the male slip one hand into your hair, tugging at the roots of your hair gently to bring your face back to his, averting your attention away from the love bites you’ve been placing on his skin. 
“Unless you give me another topic to write about,” he suggests, his hungry lips swallowing your reply. 
You and Sunwoo were never really good for each other. Too messy, too turbulent, but too consumed with the other to ever truly let go. Seeing him tonight surely wasn’t the best of your ideas– but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t silently hope the evening would turn out this way.
You and Sunwoo were never the ones to make good decisions when it came to the other one anyway. What’s one another badly calculated step in your relationship gonna do?
279 notes · View notes
firesnap · 2 months
Note
i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
148 notes · View notes
writing-blog-iguess · 10 months
Text
Online Matchup
Summery: Y/n thought it would be fun signing up on dating sites, just for shits and giggles. Who knew that was one of the best decisions they made, especially when they're having too much fun talking to a certain Jason Todd.
warning: swearing, unedited I think, mentions of cancer, fluff, lots of back and forth teasing
word count: 3072
a/n: I promised myself I'd post a fic today, though it's not the one I wanted, I hope you enjoy regardless.
ao3 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Inspired by this:
Tumblr media
September 19
You matched with Jason Todd, say hello!
Y/N So, when you say you're looking for a partner in crime Do you mean, like, rob a bank and fight batman? Or like, cozy up on the couch with the fireplace going while it's raining while we try to finish the books we bought? Cuz, I can do the second one I dont think i could fight batman or any of his kids Or even what to, you know? They’re kind of scary …. well maybe one of them i would fight I say fight but its wont be Oh man, I am so sorry about this. This is not how i wanted to tell you that i am a rambler I’m just gonna see myself out Goodday
Jason Ngl this made me laugh So who would you fight but not really?
Y/N You can’t honestly be interested in who I would fight? No way
Jason Way you seemed interesting and i want to get to know you
Y/N … okay but you need to answer my question first
Jason: Lol fair. And it would be the second one. I too wouldn’t fight batman but for different reasons
Y/N: So you're a fighter?
Jason Nope This isn’t how it works
y/n: Fine but remember, you asked for this
Jason: Okay but it’s not like you have a plan on fighting all the batmans kids so i think im safe
y/n: …….
Jason: Oh shit you do?!
y/n: I plead the fifth
Jason: You just got a little more interesting
y/n: I’m going home
Jason: Damn and here i thought i’d finally found the love of my life
y/n: No, nope Don’t say that The more you talk to me, you’ll find the real me and then want nothing to do with me
Jason: Let me be the judge of that We matched for a reason and i want to find out Don’t you?
Y/n: Aren’t you a charmer Okay fine. 20 questions?
Jason: Sure but after you tell what you would do in a fight with the batfam
y/n: I was hoping you would drop this, damn Alright, you get the honour of telling me who you want to know 
Jason: Nightwing
Y/N: Really? Okay. well first i was thinking of just flirting my way out, but he looks like he’d flirt back and i’m not the best at it to begin with, so I’d just get all flustered Bro’s an acrobat, i aint running from him. I aint running from all of them if i’m being honest. Nah for nightwing, he strikes me as a dork in some way. I’ll talk my way out of it. And if there’s something i’m good at, it’s talking.
Jason: So your plan is to talk circles around him?
Y/N: Yes Once i figure out what type of dork he is, imma talk until he gets confused and then i’ll run away Bro won’t see it coming
Jason: I should tell my brother He’s a huge nightwing fan
y/n: Nooooooooooo No one needs to know i don’t need other people to know how weird i am Especially your family I don't want my first meeting to be ‘hey, you’re that chick that’ll talk nightwing to confusion. Man that was a great laugh’
Jason: You think this will go that far?
Y/N: Honestly? No But i have hope You?
Jason: Ya Anyways, red robin?
Y/N: You skipped red hood
Jason: Saving him for last
Y/N: Fair Hes smart, can’t really talk myself out of that one nor would I flirt He is too young and not my type So i use his weakness
Jason: There’s no way you know that
Y/N: No but I know the dude doesn’t have a regular sleep schedule.
Jason: How do you know that?
Y/N: Back when I worked at a coffee shop, I took his order a few times and watched him down his coffee while it was still hot I asked him once, why? Dude said, and i kid you not ‘sleep is for the week and coffee is god’ Ngl, i laughed and gave him a free coffee just for making my day
Jason: Shit day?
Y/N: Ugh you had no idea. I had two tests that day and a term paper due but i couldn’t get it printed in time so that was late Didn’t help i woke up on the couch, and my body didn’t like that
Jason: You in school?
Y/n: Ya, only two years in but i want it to end
Jason: Not a fan?
Y/N: Eh When did we start playing 20 questions?
Jason: Right, we we suppose to play after you finished your hypotheticals
Y/N: Curses Me and my big mouth Who’s next?
Jason: We’re still on RR
Y/N: Blah right I’ll just bride him with coffee and make a run for it
Jason: The fact that that could actually work is scary Are you sure you’re not a villain?
Y/N: Nope just an engineering student who could fight god with enough coffee and no sleep Honestly, RR’s my spirit animal
Jason: Robin
Y/N: Are you nuts? I’d turn myself in and then some ain’t no way i’m coming up with a plan for him He scares me
Jason: Why?
Y/N: I watched him fight a few times The dude has enough skill and rage to fight the justice league if need be I bet he could kill too He looks like it
Jason: Okay you're not wrong But if you had to come up with a plan, what would it be?
Y/N: Cannot believe you’re making me do this Fine Little dude may have a hard exterior, but years of reading and knowing people like him, he has a soft spot and use that against him
Jason: Do you know what that is?
Y/N: … I am going to die If robin finds this, I am dying by either embarrassment or by his hands
Jason: Come on, you gotta tell me I’m at the edge of my seat here
Y/N: Fine, but if i’m going down I’m taking you with me
Jason: But we’ve only just met
Y/N: Maybe so, but I actually like you But i’m starting to doubt
Jason: Aw come on, little bird
Y/N: Damnit I happened to be walking home and watched him sit in an alley playing with cats Must have been a slow night, he was there for hours
Jason: It was the little bird wasn’t it?
Y/N: So who’s next? Spoiler? Batgirl? The signal? Red hood? Oracle? Well, I wouldn’t fight Oracle, I don’t know who they are but I know they would win so I’m going to stay clear of them No, you know what? I can tell you my answer for all three of them I’d bribe them with cookies or something. Idk if they would take it but that’s my plan. Just straight up bribery. Who could resist cookies?
Jason: That’s your answer to everything huh?
Y/n: Yup
Jason: Even with RH?
Y/n: … He’s different
Jason: How so?
Y/N: Mm, okay but your not allowed to judge Or laugh
Jason: Should I be scared?
Y/N: Depends Anyways, i have a crush on him So I would shoot my shot and if i get turned down then at least I tried
Jason: You have a crush on Red Hood? Out of everyone there is, why him?
Y/N: You’re judging! You said you wouldn’t
Jason: I didn’t say shit Now tell me why him?
Y/N: Hell if I know But have you seen him?
Jason: I have but you don’t even see his face
Y/N: That just adds to the mystic that is Red Hood I just know he’s got a good looking face underneath the mask
Jason: You really are something else
Y/N: Sorry I’m a big fan of RH And I guess I like the thought of a mystery So if you want to end this now, I understand
Jason: Who said anything about ending this?
Y/N: Don’t know, a lot of people who seem interested in me kind of leave after they find out Either they don’t want to compete with a crush that I know have zero chance at or they just don’t like red hood and being with a fan isn’t something they want
Jason: They’re stupid I ain’t leaving for that And who knows, maybe you can shoot your shot one day
Y/N: HA That’s not going to happen I freeze up when I’m near someone I like I’d probably stutter and say something embarrassing and run away No thank you
Jason: Thought it out huh
Y/N: You have no idea Anyways, 20 questions?
Jason: I did promise You can ask a couple?
Y/N: Favourite colour?
Jason: Really? After what I did to you, your going to ask something simple
Y/N: Answer the question Jason
Jason: Green
Y/N: Thank you Favourite food?
Jason: What’s with the easy questions? Give me some hard hitting personal ones
Y/N: I will in time Now, answers please
Jason: Chili dogs
Y/N: Those things are gross
Jason: Hey, they are the pinnacle of street food You just have to find the right places
Y/N: Mmkay, if you say so
Jason: Alright, gonna have to take you to one of my favourite places
Y/N: That right?
Jason: Only way to convince you Where do you go to school?
Y/N: Looking forward to it Gotham University, you?
Jason: Not yet, but trying to Kind of hard when you were declared dead for a while
Y/N: Fucking what?! Gonna need that story
Jason: Nope, gotta reach at least level 10 in friendship to unlock it
YN: Damnit
Jason: Sorry little bird
Y/N: You didn’t need to say it so casually tho Who just mentions, ‘yeah i’ve been declared dead but haven’t done anything’ into a conversation And not elaborate on it This is bullshit, sir
Jason: It has happened to people
Y/N: Yeah, but they tell people why You just Dropped a bomb like that and say, not yet Whatever, i’ll drop it
Jason: You sure? Sounds like it’ll bother you until you get the story
Y/N: Yes I’m sure Yes it will bother me But like I said, I like you and I don’t want to be pushy I’m not a pushy person
Jason: Awe does someone have a wittle crush
Y/N: No You got nothing on RH
Jason: Now that just hurts, little bird
Y/N: Don’t you have a question you need to ask?
Jason: Are you flustered? I feel like you’re flustered
Y/N: Amazing weather we’re having Despite the rain and all
Jason: Alright, I’ll stop with the teasing For now Born in Gotham?
Y/N: No I am from Metropolis, moved here for school
Jason: Any other reason?
Y/N: Yeah, Superman kept destroying my apartment building I’ve moved three times and somehow, he always finds the building I’m living in Minute I graduated high school, I moved
Jason: But why Gotham?
Y/N: Gotham intrigues me
Jason: You’re so weird
Y/N: Thank you Since you’re not in school, what do you do?
Jason: Mechanic Didn’t really want my dad’s help so I’m finding my way in life
Y/N: Not a great relationship?
Jason: You can say that So, engineering huh?
Y/N: Yup I love building and taking things apart Have since I was little
Jason: Gonna change the world?
Y/N: Imma try but can’t really do that while working at luthor corp
Jason: Please tell me your joking
Y/N: Ah, not a fan I see Can’t blame you but I am not It was one of the first places I’ve applied to and hear back right away I accepted before getting my other interviews
Jason: jumped the gun a bit 
Y/N: Yeah I did. I wished I didn’t but oh well I’ll find something better if this doesn’t work out
Jason: Why don’t you quit now?
Y/N: I am a broke college student who needs money If I quit now, I’m not sure if I find someone to take me Plus the hours working there are helping my schooling, so it’s kinda late to switch jobs
Jason: Can’t believe I’m saying this but try wanye enterprise I hear they’re good to work for
Y/n: I plan too eventually But at the moment, this is fine The hours I have now works with my school hours
Jason: How’s working there anyways?
Y/N: Not too bad I guess I’m allowed to work on my own projects as long as I work on the assigned ones The people are nice and all but it could be better
Jason: But you don’t like it there?
Y/N: I don’t like Lex Luthor and what he represents I guess
Jason: So you believe that he’s trying to take down superman?
Y/N: I’ve seen one of their fights Nothing to believe
Jason: Must of been some fight
Y/N: Mm So What did you mean, I can’t believe I’m saying this?
Jason: You can’t be weird about it
Y/N: Oh? I am intrigued
Jason: You’re making it weird
Y/N: I am not It’s not like I said you have a crush on Bruce Wayne or something That would have been weird
Jason: Is this how you felt when I teased you?
Y/N: Paybacks a bitch isn’t it?
Jason: I hate you
Y/N: Okay
Jason: I do
Y/N: You’re deflecting
Jason: Oh my god Fine He’s my dad, well adoptive dad
Y/N: Cool
Jason: That’s it? You’re not going to fawn over him being my dad? Ask me questions about what he’s like? Ask if the tabloids are true?
Y/N: Nope Tbh, I don’t care for Bruce Like, I applaud him for what he’s trying to do for Gotham and all But, seeing him on every magazine everywhere I go gets a bit tiring He’s just another dude that people are obsessed with Who cares if he’s rich Besides, I’m talking to you aren’t I? Who cares about Bruce Wayne I wanna know Jason Todd
Jason: You know? I think I may actually be in love 
Y/N: Stooooooop You can’t say things like that
Jason Why? Cuz you get flustered so easily?
Y/N And if I do?
Jason Gotta say it’s my favourite past time
Y/N So, the reason you don’t have a great relationship with Bruce Does it have anything to do with you being dead or something?
Jason Wow WOW I cannot believe you We go from what's your favourites to hard hitting questions huh? I see how it is
Y/N I told you they were coming
Jason I just didn’t think you’d use it as a deflection tactic
Y/N Yeah I want to say sorry But I’m not I’m sure you would use anything to get attention from yourself
Jason Can’t do positive attention
Y/N Eh
Jason I hear you And yes it is part of the reason why me and Bruce are not in good terms
Y/N Mm, I’m sure he’s trying
Jason In his own Bruce way yeah
Y/N Are you?
Jason I like to believe I am Why the interest?
Y/N I don’t know Maybe it’s the fact that my relationship with my dad isn’t the best
Jason You’re dad’s not Bruce Wayne’s too?
Y/N HA Then I would not be talking to you in this fashion
Jason That is true So then what?
Y/N My mom says we are too similar to each other Got the same attitude and all I believe it Growing up, it was all your useless and you’ll amount to nothing Or he’ll ignore me, and I’d prefer that over the degrading Only time he’d show his affection was if he was drunk
Jason Wow Sorry 
Y/N Yeah It’s gotten better since I moved out Now it’s there, and I’m still processing 
Jason Processing what?
Y/N Mm It’s a pretty heavy topic to get into with someone you just met
Jason Can’t be worse than me being dead for months
Y/N Months?! How many?
Jason Oh damn You are a lot easier to talk with then who I normally socialize with
Y/N I shall take that as a complement
Jason As you should And no, I will not be elaborating 
Y/N Alright fair But I will get the story
Jason Mm, I’m sure you will So? Gonna answer my question
Y/N Last year he was diagnosed with cancer Not sure what it is, but it already spread
Jason How long did the doctors give him?
Y/N He didn’t want to know Can’t blame him for 
Jason Sorry about that
Y/N Yeah
Jason You don’t sound to hurt about it
Y/N Like I said, still processing it so I don’t know how to feel With the childhood I had, I don’t know how too But I know when it comes down to it, my emotions will hit me like a truck when the day comes
Jason Well, soak up as much time as you can before you have any regrets
Y/N Trying to He is just making it impossible Whoo boy! That was a lot of emotion for one night I think I���m going to eat some ice cream and binge watch my favourite show
Jason Sounds fun, wish I could join but I promised my brothers with help
Y/N How many do you have?
Jason Do you read anything about the Wayne family?
Y/N Nope What I know about him is what is whispered between my classes and work and even then I don’t listen to them
Jason Really committed on not caring about him, huh Four brothers and three sisters
Y/N Big family
Jason Bruce likes to adopt
Y/N I can tell Anyways, have fun tonight
Jason I’ll try Would you be interested in talking some more?
Y/N I would love to
690 notes · View notes
redr0sewrites · 9 months
Text
Pretty Boy (Sampo x Reader smut)
yall dont understand my feral urge to dom this man he is so fine i swear im normal but ohhhh myyyyy gooood
🥀CW: SMUT! this is filthy ngl i really want to peg him its not fair hes fictional. marking, hickeys and biting, rough rough sex, reader is sorta mean, dirty talk, sexy sampo
Tumblr media
Sampo squirmed beneath you, your hands gripping tight enough on his hips to leave a generous bruise.
"please... please just put it in!" you had sampo bent over your desk, his hands scratching at the wood as he trembled. you were pressing so, so close to his entrance yet you were so, so far.
"do you really think you deserve it? you really think you deserve my cock after teasing me all day, even while i was working?" it was true, everyone knew sampo had a tendency to be irritating however he had been getting on your last nerve. all day he had been whispering the filthiest things in your ear, subtly brushing his hands in places that made you shiver, whimpering or moaning softly as you passed by only to pretend as if nothing happened.
"answer me doll, you know i dont like waiting," you say, yanking his hair back sharply to see his face. his expression was truly pathetic, eyes filled with tears and cheeks flushed a delicious red.
"i promise i'll be good, please, please i need you" his pathetic begging and whimpering only made you more aroused, and you decided to indulge him. you sunk your teeth into his neck, leaving a harsh bruise. you contine to mark him until you find a spot that makes his breath hitch. focusing in on that one area, you thrust into him fully and suddenly, and a shocked gasp which melted into a choked moan left his mouth. he leaned forward, his whole body was shaking in time with your thrusts. you wrapped a hand around to rest it on his lower abdomen, you could feel his muscles clenching and unclenching as you pounded into him harder.
"look at you, panting like a bitch in heat. where'd all that confidence go? did the little slut just need to get his hole fucked? your really so desperate for me, such a pretty little whore."
he let out a soft sob of pleasure, and you continued your assault on his neck, until he was whimpering and keening at the scrape of your teeth. his noises began to grow louder and louder, and you wrapped your hand around his hard dick. precum was already spilling from the tip, and he bucked his hips needily.
"im close, aah~ im close please, please let me cum" his pleas came out in between pants and moans, and you could feel his cock pulsing in your hand. you pushed him down further against the desk, fucking into him at a new position that allowed you to go deeper, hitting that special spot inside him.
"o-ohh please please, its so good please im gonna- im gonna cum aah~"
"dont you dare come until i tell you too," you say roughly, delivering a soft slap to his ass as he whimpers. you continue to thrust into him and you can feel his body begging for release. his cock is throbbing and his shoulder shake with every thrust of your hips. hes growing louder and louder, and his moans only spurred you on.
"go on, doll. release for me, dont you want to be good?" sampo nodded feverishly, bucking his hips harder against you. a few more harsh thrusts and he came suddenly, spurts of his cum covering the front of your desk. you gently sat him down in your leather chair that had previously been pushed aside, and admired your work. his hips were bruising in the delicious shape of your handprints, and his back was littered with hickeys and scratches from pushing him into the desk.
suddenly, you pushed him against the back of the chair, and his eyes widened as you wrap your hand around his cock. he was still coated in his own arousal, and you felt him begin to harden again in your hand.
"wha- what are you-"
"aw, you didn't seriously think i was done with you pretty boy, hmm?"
AUUUGH HES SO FIIINEEEE UHRHDHDBSH I AM NEW TO HONKAI BUT OHHHHH MYTYYTY GAAAAAUUUFUDDBKSNSJNDJDND I HOPE YALL ENJOYED THIS FILTH
307 notes · View notes
strwbwoo · 7 months
Text
bunny
cw : konig x reader , smut , profanity , hair pulling , semi public sex , raw penetration (dont do it) ; pet names (sweet cakes , baby , kitten , hun , bunny , little girl , sweat heart , pretty girl) orgasm denial (once) , brat reader, degradation kink.. , begging , thigh fucking , alot of dirty talk , dumbifacation.. , exes to.. hook up , .7k (i got lazy)
an : this is dedicated to my friend ; i dont know much about this man (konig) but hot mask rigtht?
going to a halloween party yet konig was the last person youd think you would see. his eyes lazily open behind his cloth mask, his mysterious aura strangely turns on anybody, even if you dated that dick for 3 months,
“hey sweet cakes, didnt expect you here..” he chuckles but you scoff, “ditto.” attitude evident in your tone. “talking back to me kitten? that isnt like you” you roll your eyes, “tsk we over konig remember? im not your kitten” you grumble and he grumbles back, “ watch yer mouth, remember who yer talking to baby?” ugh youve learned to hate how he says endearing words.
or have you? cramped in the small half bathroom of the party, halloween decor over the mirror, regular bulb replaced with dark red led lights. where your body suit was supposed to cover your cunnie was placed to the side, exposing your slit to the cold air
“wanna think abt what you said princess?” thrusting hard with every word, only moans fall out of your slut mouth “hm? baby got nothing in her head?” knocking he seasons special pumpkin scented soap off the counter, “i didnt do an- anything wrong..”
“aww such a klutz, tsk cant do anything right can you?” gripping the back of your hair; close to your scalp, forcing you to look in the mirror in front of you, “look at you, youre pathetic baby…” its not fair that he knew what your body needed, “just admit it baby, then i can take care of you..” his voice hinted with sincerity but when could you ever tell if it was genuine or not
“please kon.. “ an old nickname you gave him while dating, “fuck- tell me what you need kitten..or should i say bunny?” he snickered; squeezing the cotton fluff on the butt of your body suit but your headband was nowhere to be found. you mewl so desperately- so bunny like, “i- i need you..” only to whine sliding his dick all the way out, clenching on nothing until he bottoms out again, not giving you time to adjust, “fuck baby, yer so wet” he chuckles
“cant help it.. feels good..” not meaning to boost his ego, “yea? whos making you feel good bunny?” such a douche one of the things why you broke it off with him, “..kon- konig..” barely mumbling, “say it baby”
but you keep mumbling, embarrassed. why? maybe bc your pathetic letting your jerk ex fuck you? or maybe that people will hear you beg for your lousy ex that you talk shit about.. i dunno girl
he halts his thrusts, “cmon hun” fuck right when you were about to cum, “plea- please..” tippy toeing as much as your heels allowed while attempting to thrust back into him before he tightens his hold on you preventing movement.
“konig! fuck konig please- need to cum! let me cum” you cant tell by the way his eyes squint he wears that smug smirk that you only got to see while dating, “really little girl? you want me to fuck you?” egging you on, “yes konig! fuck me goddamn it!” he clicks his tongue but allows it, “okay baby” he sings as he slips all but the tip of his dick out and slams back into your cunt causing you to yelp
“f-fuck sweatheart, yer hugging me like a glove” but you couldnt hear him over the skin slapping and that brain numbing dick is all you can focus on. “ t-too big” you whine, “slow down k-konig” feeding into his ego and his balls slapping on your clit adding to your pleasure
“s’okay you can take all it baby” even though he can your tight cunt slowing down his thrusts “f-fuck” he pants again, he can feel his balls tighten; about to cum. “jus loosen up baby” his right hand crawling to your clit and rubbing harsh circles,
rambling,“mm- fuck kon! m’ gonna cum!” he chuckles like bastard even now, “me too pretty girl” leaned forward, groaning in your ear. you can also see the sweat collecting on his mask, “cmon pretty make a mess..” and that you do, milking him for all hes worth, “f-fuck” pulling out right before his cum spurts on the back of yer body suit.
247 notes · View notes
machiten · 1 year
Text
thats my seat!
academic rival scaramouche x gn!reader headcanons
Tumblr media
warnings: scaramouche(bro is a whole warning), foul language(it's scaramouche we're talking about here so), reader is mentioned to have bad eyesight, fights, angst, academic validation, bad parenting
barely proofread lmao im tired, it's 3:15 am and im starving. there will be a chapter 2 ofc i just wanted to post something goddamn my blog has been empty for so long (4 days) didn't have a way to keep track of the word count but it's kinda long. anyways hope u enjoy!!
Tumblr media
oh god
when i say rival, i mean full on brawls on the school hallway
so let's say you've been top of your school since day one. your name has always been at the top of the score board every exam, always class representative, and well known as a smart kid ever since you steped on school premises.
you work hard to keep your grades up, your parents pay enough attention to your succesful brother and none for you
having a successful brother plants high expectations on you. i mean, he did very well, so why cant you? you both have the same blood running through your veins. your parent's praise, that is all you've ever wanted. and yet you're not even informed if there's a family outing, leaving you in your house alone
it has been like that for years
not until one day, you enter into the classroom and someone else is sitting in your chair. someone unfamiliar is sitting on your chair.
"hey, excuse me. i sit there." you pointed at what is supposed to be, your chair. "what, i dont see any names on it." Ok, what. when you finally look up to the culprit, my goodness. Fierce purple eyes that looks like it holds the entire universe, his skin as fair as a maiden, lips plum as a springs fruit, a beauty mark at the underside of his right eye, and his hair a unique color of indigo that is cut in a weird jellyfish-ish hairstyle. while yes, he looks ethereal, not gonna lie (if he had longer hair you might've mistaken him as a girl) his personality certainly does not match his elegance. an annoyed look currently adorned his face, as if you disturbed his peace.
"done checking me out? i know im hot, i get that look everyday so dont ever think you're special." and now it changed into a cocky smirk. the nerve! not only is he sitting on someone else's chair but it seems like his head is getting bigger too. "well excuse me, i havent seen your around school until today so im guessing that you're the transfer student our teacher talked about last week. but do you mind finding a new spot, i sit there." you glared at him.
"no i like it here. here's a better idea, why don't you find a new spot. im the new student here, show some courtesy."
"no- what, go away thats my seat!"
"alright everyone, settle down- oh, i see that the new student is here already," the teacher finally came in the classroom, cup of steaming hot coffee in his hand. Everyone sat down on their seats while you are still standing up waiting for this person to look for another seat. Lmao guess what, he didnt move.
"(name), c'mon sit down. i know getting a new friend is exiting but we have to greet the new student properly. now go find your seat."
"wait but sir--"
"sit down, (name)"
"yeah that's right (name), sit down" a voice beside you spoke. you looked over to the new student adorning a triumphant grin at your loss. and so you are now forced to sit at the back, barely seeing what's in front because of your poor eyesight, and wearing a vengeful spirit.
epic first meeting
the seats in the back are okay, its breezy and you now sit next to xiao (his music taste is so good) but yeah, you cant really see the board clearly so you get notes from mona at the front
at first, it was a one sided rivalry. how hated how rude and bratty he was and at that time, he didnt seem too care (like he get those everyday). but then he started fighting back and oh boy he hasn't had this much fun in years!
the way you retort back to his harsh words is so amusing to him. usually, no one would dare talk to him in a degrading manner but then you came into his life, claiming that he's sitting on your chair, and it was never the same ever again.
now, he looks forward to everyday. he rises up earlier so that he can sit at your chair first, he keeps looking at the classroom door everytime someone enters (in case it's you so that he can give that shit eating grin), he loves how your face gets messed up when he wins an argument, he loves how small your hands are compared to his when you have a brawl in the hallways, and most of all, he loves it when you give him the shit eating grin when you win something (he says he let's you win sometimes because he pitied you, but is it really?)
to him, this is fun, amusing, entertaining. but to you? you've never felt this much hate in a human being, ever.
scaramouche is smart as fuck and he demonstrated that loud and clear
he aced the math test that the teacher gave that wasn't even taught to him
in presentations, he speaks loud and clear and you can really understand the point he's making
he doesn't really like group works (you noticed) but if he was put in a group, he does most of the job flawlessly
sports? oh of course. he's really good at baseball (pitcher). he's also good at other sports but not as good as baseball
oh and pray that you don't get him as your opponent in debates, you will be grilled like a brisket
did i mention he sleeps in like 70% of his classes? it's not like the teachers can do anything about it. he excels in everything, at least let him sleep as a gift
the only times he would be awake is when he pulls on your strings
but of course, you're also good in all of these, that's why you both are rivals
you fight almost everyday for the top spot (and for your original seat) to the point where its a daily routine to everyone else to see you both pinching and arguing in the classroom
He doesn't have any close friends (ahem childeahem) and it's either bc ppl are intimidated by him or he just doesnt give a fuck about friends
maintaining grades is one thing, winning against him is another
you are very intellegent, yes, but you work very hard for your grades every night. losing sleep studying for upcoming quizes and making sure your projects are perfect. unlike him who doesnt even try
you havent seen him study once
and it makes you see yourself lower. you're both equally in par with your grades but thats when he doesn't even try. what happens when he takes everything seriously? what if he studies as hard as you do? where will you stand then?
but when you got 2nd place for the 3rd time this year, he took it too far
"what the hell?! this is the third time!" you looked at the results in the bulletin board expecting to see your name in first place. you studied hard, right? so then why,,,
"oh oops, looks like i did a little too well again this time. aw and i didn't even answer some of the questions because i felt bad for beating you the last two times." a snicker is heard behind you and sure enough, piercing indigo eyes is looking at yours in pure pity. "thanks i guess. are you happy now? that's three times in a row!" aether beside you is now having a deadpan expression, expecting the worst. 'alright here we go again'.
"oh yes very, you know what makes me even happier? your declaration that you're inferior to me. why do you even try anyways, it's clear to everyone that im better. you're just wasting your time burying your head in your books and notes when we both already know who's coming at the top. imagine not meeting your parent's expectations." he's now looking down on you, beating you up with words that you know damn well are true. but that doesn't mean you're not gonna fight back.
"what."
"oh you know, maybe if you tried harder, the cost of your education might be worth it for your parents. honestly, if i we're them id--"
before he could finish his sentence, a loud echoing smack is heard all across the hallway, making everyone's attention turn to the commotion. scaramouche head is now turned the other way, his cheeks beginning to flare from the hit as he glared at the culprit, you. "you motherfucking bitc-!" you tackled him and due to surprise, he fell back. aether is now alert, shouting your name trying to get you to your senses.
you gripped scramouche's collar, rasing his head from the floor and slamming it back down. "you're an asshole, you know that?! i try my best everyday and this is what i get?!!" he fights back, hand on your arm that's trying to get a hold of his hair and another on your neck, holding back your weight.
"you don't know what it's like!! you will never know what it's like being compared to your brother everytime they get a chance!! you dont know what it's like going home to nothing but words of disappointment when you did everything you can to get their approval!! you will never know what it's like for your efforts to go to waste!! you will never know the feeling of being kicked out of your own home and live in a run down apartment!! i work day and night, i lose sleep everyday, i barely have anything for myself to live, and now i have to deal with your ass every single day too?!!"
"(name)! calm down, hey-!"
"fuck off aether!"
every word you spat pricked scaramouche's heart and made him struggle from your assaults. this isn't fun anymore. he knew a bit of your situation, kazuha told him. but he never knew it was this bad. all he knew is about your parent's expectations. he didn't even attempt to fight back this time and just defends himself from your blows. 'shit, i took it too far.'
"you dont have to remind me of my incompetence! i already know, i know damn well i will never be enough!! you're right, why do i even try, right?! you're so fucking annoying, doing everything so effortlessly, like school is a nuisance!! can't i take a fucking break?!!" at this point, you cannot control your tears from falling into his cheeks, rolling down his porcelain skin.
"what are you--?!"
"why can't i be a genius like you?! why dont i have everything that you have?!! i did everything i can, what am i doing wrong?!" you are now saying intangible words that no one can decipher because of the mess of emotions you are feeling at that moment. you're about to deliver another blow when someone held you back.
"(name)! you're doing too much! thats enough!!" goddamn she is stronger than i thought, scaramouche deals with this everyday?? aether pulled you away from the tangled mess that you and scaramouche managed to create. you're struggling his hold but after a bit, you slumped down having no more strength to keep going, sobbing quietly. "...(name)?" aether said.
"...i am so tired of everything, why do i even keep trying. i.. i just want to make my parents proud..." sniffles could be heard from where you are being held my aether's arms. aether supported you from the groud and led you away from the scene and the prying eyes of other students. before you both can disappear completely, aether turned around and gave scaramouche a threatening glare. "i know you both bicker a lot but you took it too far. you are an asshole and you better change that attitude of yours or i will send you home even worse than your condition right now." and you both are gone.
scaramouche is still sitting on the floor, his arm supporting his weight, bruises are forming in his skin while he's craddling his cheek that is now very noticeably red and flaring from the slap you served him earlier. he doesn't know how to act, really. should he apologize? should he just walk away and like nothing happened? should he report you for physical abuse? he didn't know anything.
what he does know though is that he fucked up, big time. he knows that you'll never want to see his face ever again, he knows that nothing will be the same again, and he knows thag the feelings he has will never be reciprocated, after what he's done.
he actually just found out recently, when someone from the other class was making fun of you and he didn't like it one bit, he's the only one allowed to make fun of you, everyone back off. scaramouche can see the crowd dissipating, no longer interested since the main action is gone. he sat there on the floor the whole time, rethinking his life choices, wondering if he said things differently instead of those. would he be seeing you tomorrow? will you still argue with him about nonsensical bullshit? can he still hold your hand whenever you pinch him?
he heard footsteps and before he can look up, someone had smacked him in the head.
"what the fuck-!!"
"i want to say 'are you okay', but to be honest you kinda deserved that." a mop of ginger can bee seen hanging from someone's head.
"fuck off childe, and why did you smack me?!"
"because you deserve it. but y'know, it's nice having front row seats seeing you ruin your life because of that toungue of yours. aether's right you're an ass." he helped scaramouche from the floor, dusting his uniform from the filth. "ill take you to the infirmary." scaramouche can only nod, feeling lethargic after all that energy spent.
he hopes to see you the next day, acting like nothing ever happened.
Tumblr media
part 2
583 notes · View notes