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#i dont say this sarcastically btw i love getting these calls bc i usually have food i made that i wanna drop off to them anyway
leossmoonn · 3 years
Text
Play Ground Days
masterlist
pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader
type - fluff
note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl​ <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!
summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey
warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine 
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*gif isnt mine*
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“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.
“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.  
“How the hell—” Carl started. 
“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled. 
Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”
“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes. 
Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”
“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips. 
“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder. 
“What?” Lip asked. 
“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.
 “What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey. 
Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”
————
4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM
“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window. 
Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame. 
“What’re you doing here?” He asked.
She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”
“Nothing,” Carl shrugged. 
She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”
Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”
She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps. 
“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him. 
“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked. 
Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”
“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically. 
“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.
She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”
Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. 
Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since. 
“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him. 
Carl blushed. “Nothing.”
“Alright,” Y/n sang.
Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently. 
He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was. 
Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register. 
“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled. 
“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked. 
“Good, good,” Y/n smiled. 
“Good,” Carl said. 
“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled. 
Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table. 
“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked. 
Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”
“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said. 
“Are you getting that?” Carl asked. 
“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach. 
“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled. 
Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded. 
Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.
Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed  those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that. 
Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.  
“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked. 
“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered. 
Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n. 
“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered. 
Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”
Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away. 
“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said. 
Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”
Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”
“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.
“You’re really responsible,” Carl said. 
Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”
Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”
She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”
Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”
Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking. 
“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates. 
“Yeah,” Carl nodded. 
“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes. 
“Ready to go?” Y/n asked. 
Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces. 
“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said. 
“You sure?” Carl asked. 
She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”
Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car. 
“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked. 
“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked. 
“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street. 
The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game. 
“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen. 
“Right behind you,” Carl smirked. 
Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her. 
“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed. 
“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”
“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said. 
“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said. 
“Deal,” Carl nodded. 
The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill. 
“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down. 
“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”
Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”
“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested. 
“Sure,” Carl nodded. 
“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch. 
Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house. 
“Hey, guys,” Carl said. 
“Hey,” Ian smiled. 
“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded. 
“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”
“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows. 
“I… am I?” Carl asked. 
Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”
“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.
“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.
“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked. 
Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her. 
“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”
And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help. 
“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously. 
Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey. 
“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said. 
“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”
“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.
“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested. 
“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”
“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said. 
Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”
He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up. 
————
Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee. 
“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled. 
Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”
“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand. 
“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”
Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here. 
“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”
“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts. 
Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”
“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly. 
Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”
“Really?” Carl smiled. 
Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. 
“Yep. I always have,” she grinned. 
“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”
“What?” Y/n asked in confusion. 
“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.
“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained. 
Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”  
————
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add yourself to the taglist here
taglist (crossed out means i couldnt tag)
@kaitieskidmore1 @the-anxious-youth @little-miss-naill @powerpuffluuvv
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twopoppies · 3 years
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Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!
Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust
i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?
like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)
Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:
Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???
Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt
Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn
both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it
YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway
It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)
Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!
It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting
I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them
Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it
and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe
and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it
Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%
You first!!! Always! :)
Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!
Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.
And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.
The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.
Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!
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jeankirstein4ever · 3 years
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hihi i hope you're doing well! can i get a matchup the gender doesnt really matter. i use he/they prns btw.
personality categories (idk what to call them) scorpio, intp 5w4, chaotic neutral, and my hogwarts house is slytherin if that matters.
Im a pretty introverted person and will only talk to ppl that i am friends with, even then if we arent really good friends i still wont talk to you unless you spark conversation because i dont like bothering ppl. My sense of humor is mostly sarcastic and dirty. Im also mean as a joke but, i only am to ppl i know who are comfortable with it bc i dont want ppl to genuinely be hurt by anything i say (making ppl uncomfortable/annoyed is my worst fear ngl). i have random burst of energy which usually makes me rant about literally any topic i can come up with. some bad things about my personality tho is i do have a lot of self doubt. its not that i hate myself i just believe that ill never live up to other ppls expectations. its also hard for me to believe someone actually enjoys my presence.
some of my hobbies are dancing, watching anime, gaming, and watching random science vids that pop up on my youtube recommended.
I look for humor and intelligence in a partner. especially humor because i dont take things seriously unless its something im interested in or its a serious issue. also intelligence because i like ranting about things and getting good feedback and thought provoking responses/questions whether the topic is serious or not, and understanding because i will admit im not the easiest person to be with.
my love language is mostly physical touch
im black, 5'3, have short ear length hair (i keep them it in mini twist), im curvy, have sharper features on my face, and have dark skin
random stuff: my fav music genres are alternative rock, rap, hyper pop, r&b, and kpop. my current favorite song is Pretty little birds by SZA and not allowed by TV girl. i also used to do ballet and i love it so much
Aot Matchups
A/n I love these so much, thank you for your ask
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I match you with Levi
Levi and you are an all or nothing relationship, the second you two start dating it's all-consuming and absolutely everything
Levi was never one for affection of any kind let alone physical but when you sat down and talked about the things that made you feel loved he made sure to try and incorporate physical affection even in the smallest forms.
After a little while into your guys relationship when you started getting a bit more comfortable you started giving him little kisses on the forehead which he loved more than anything else in the world.
Before missions he would always pull you aside into his office before hugging your for dear life while muttering sweet nothings in your ear, “I love you, you know that right? You mean the world to me, if anything happens I need you to know that.”
When you got injured on a mission, he lost all self-control, this man is a killing machine on a good day but when he thought you were gone the world deserved to burn. Every titan he came across was slaughtered in a matter of seconds.
On the other hand when he found out you were fine, he fucking broke “I thought you were dead, I-I thought I lost you.”
“Baby, you're never losing me”
PET NAMES, this man will fucking die if you call him “baby” or “honey” he loves it so much.
Levi doesn't like PDA in the slightest but if someone tries to get a little too flirty like Petra (sorry Petra) he will purposely kiss you or wrap his arm around your waist In front of them as long as your comfortable with it.
He loves your dirty jokes, even if they're not the best it'll still earn a grin maybe even a chuckle.
YOUR HAIR, he loves it so much. I can't emphasize how much he loves your hair, it's one of his favorite things about you.
He adores your laugh, the first time her heard it was after his own attempt at a dirty joke causing you to spend a solid five minutes laughing your ass off.
He thought it sounded angelic
Mood board:
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Playlist :
Love song - The Cure
This side of paradise - Coyote Theory
Hate Yourself - TV Girl
When Am I Gonna Lose You - Local Natives
Corduroy Dreams - Rex Orange County
July - Sir Chloe
Always Forever - Cults
Sanctuary - Joji
Alrighty Aphrodite - Peach pit
3005 - Childish Gambino
Love Letter :
Darling, I love you. I cant say enough , nor can I ever get tired of you saying the same. You loved me, I am loved. By you of all people, wonderful angelic you. In case I don't get a chance to tell you this, or in case I don't say it before we leave, you're my everything, all I've ever needed or wanted. I plan on marrying you , maybe not right now but soon. There's a ring in my office drawer, I almost proposed last night. I'm worried that I m moving to fast and somehow every time I get worried, you find a way to reassure me that I'm not. Just as I will always do for you. I don't know if you remember this but the first night you stayed in my room you fell asleep muttering "please don't leave me." Darling there is nothing in this world that could separate me from you. I am with you always and forever.
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i-need-air · 3 years
Note
💘
hiiii, I saw you were doing match ups so...👉🏼👈🏼
Ok, Hi! I’m 5’5, black hair and eyes (actually i dyed a piece cause u know...quarantine), a nose ring, a few tattoos and I’m latina.
I don’t really know what to say about me lol, I’m an ENTP and I love a lot of things: books, fantasies, fanfics, politics, dance, skating, singing, playing music, partying, crying for fictional men, u know the drill
I’m a little bit sarcastic but in a kind way, I care too much about the others to say anything mean. But my rising is Aries so...I’m not the calmest person alive, at least not when someone is messing with my friends or my sister. Besides that i’m really chill, I usually am the friend who doesn’t know what’s happening and is just laughing about something stupid I remembered.
I like to know things (although i don’t really study cause honestly, i dont know how) I see myself as an smart ass who unfortunately only has two brain cells.
Growing up I based all my personality in Alex Russo and Erika from the Barbie Movie the princess and the pauper. I was obsessed with Zuko and Leo Valdez (the percy jackson and harry potter phase is not a phase!!!)
I’m really into spirituality and my family raised me to be really open to religion.
I would like to be paired with a hero but, LOV RIGHTS!!!!!!!!
Aries and ENTP. I sense fiery chaos and I love it??? Definitely see Sero by your side. He matches your energy but also grounds you down just enough.
Btw, "crying for fictional men" got to me. I felt that lmfao
Sero:
× First of all, you're absolutely gorgeous in his eyes. Legit stunning and he lets out a shaky breath every time he sees you.
× Nicknames bc this guy knows spanish so expect to be called mi amor, cariño, mi ángel, preciosa... and whenever nobody is looking in public he gonna wrap his arms around you from behind and whisper Te quiero in your ear. 🥺
× He's chill but can be very chaotic and this guy knows how to have fun! Your relationship would be filled with laughter and joy, trust me.
× Sero would also be into all your hobbies if you let him. Likes to just spend time with you and bond together. [I just imagined Cellophane dude trying to skate and failing miserably at first sjdhsh cutesy]
× You getting protective over the people you love? Big time this guy will RESPECT 😤✊
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HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS
hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D
im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!
evan: 
isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this
evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)
soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)
i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes
jared:
jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that
not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right? 
can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.
arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.
zoe:
not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor
a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.
very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!
very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.
thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too
alana:
smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.
probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.
dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?
very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.
connor:
we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better 
artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)
very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)
to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.
honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes​! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)
OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask
jeremy:
anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.
jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).
which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head). 
im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him
extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids. 
that last part was just a PSA for ppl.
lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.
honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.
michael
not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.
a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-
okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this! 
imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.
just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.
sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy. 
like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3
christine
chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good
loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?
very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao
very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal
writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.
but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.
jake
god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character
he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.
sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.
a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing
he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge
i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.
rich
GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.
squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.
post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip
a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)
rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read. 
great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck” 
would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.
chloe
chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.
casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”
so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu
has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.
i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such. 
yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.
brooke
more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)
very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.
imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse
emotional, imo. fairly feminine.
its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry
jenna
not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot
probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere
bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.
thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...
very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.
probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.
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moonchildhcs · 5 years
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yoonpark hcs
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ugh this gif ! the hecking flavor
anyways uwu hello again my friends today we return to our moonchild with some hecking fresh content,,, some yoonpark
but this time with some additional Spice. Some Flavor.
*youtuber voice* let just jump right into it
yall met at a club oopsies but it does not play out the way you think it does !
u and persi were at the club like a couple of losers and persi was tipsy but u were just. fucking drunk and u were RAMBLING about the composition of the song currently blasting through the club and you were like “tHis, my dudes, is fucking GARBAGE”
u proceeded to go on a ten minute tangent about why this song was trashy and awful even though a different song has been playing for a while now
and yoongi, slightly tipsy, looks at you and goes Oh? I Too Have Strong Feelings On The Music Selections
and u feel. someone staring at you and you turn around and its this?? hot guy?? and ur like Oh Fuck Dude Persi-
but persi has YEETED away its now just you, in your booth, with a drink, and ur boii is like “this is my chance” and he slides in and ur lik FUCK
but you guys hit it off and spend the rest of the night talking about music and stuff and eventually yall get each others numbers before you each head ur seperate ways back home
u wake up in the morning with a massive hangover going what the HECK while persi hands u some water, cackling as they tell you to check ur phone
and u DO and theres this guy,,,, in ur texts,, telling you good morning and he hopes your hangover isnt too bad since you drank a lot
he also mentions that you have good music taste
and u YODEL
and that is how yall meet !!! and tbh yall didnt see each other in person fora while but turns out hes the cutest yet snarkiest boy ever and yall text daily!!! turns out hes an aspiring producer and musician and ur just. in LOVE!!
but its also the same for bb boii because hearing you talk about languages and ur love for teaching (also the fact that ur not a native korean speaker but ur still so good at it?? his heart goes doki doki just for you) and hes just So Very In Love with you and your passion and drive !!!!
and yall grew closer and closer before,,, yall go out on a bit of a date but also just to hang out its Hard To Tell but ur both a bit nervous so its moreso like a date uwu
and yall hang around a history museum before going out to the City and visit markets and stores and eat dinner and stuff (dont worry he remember how picky you are and made sure he found a nice place with multiple options that would appeal to you !!) before yall hit a music store !! yall explore the albums available there but also the instruments and ur like wow these are all so cool !! and then,,
yoongi sits down by the piano and starts playing this super short piece but ur heart, goes doki doki and ur like heck im hecking in love
u stand there shellshocked as yoongi waves his hand in front of ur face like ?? hello??? maam???
anyways after more dates like that yall make it Official and u guys are legit so cute and dorky its unbelievable
although yall do love going out and exploring, especially at night,, yall treasure those indoors dates as well when youre both just too tired to go out and have fun !! it consists of wiggling to some choice music, binge watching a good series, dramatic readings of some nice books, napping together, trying (and failing) to make some food before ordering takeout, etc
also sometimes ur indoors dates do devolve into criticizing some of the more questionable music tastes of the other 
yoongi: dude halsey sounds like the baninis and avocados vine
you: she does and i love her for it, now shut the fuck up before i bring up kanye west
yoongi: bitch you better stop i get it i once had bad taste but i CHANGED
jokes jokes but fr yall are such big hecking nerds about stuff together of course you have music in common !! its a big interest of both of yours but you guys also have your own other interests !!!
you both love love photography so you both can be spotted just going out to explore and take photos, but also if one fo you wakes up early you take a cute pic of the other while theyre sleeping and then you wake up bc of the clicking sound and u both lie there giggling and being cutiepies
also he knows ur not necessarily the biggest fan of basketball and you dont necessarily go out of ur way to play it but this boy, this absolute nerd, loves to flex on you with his basketball skills dont even @ him on this okay
yoongi: heyo wanna do a competition on who can spin a basketball on there finger the longest
you: eh i think ill pass
yoongi: what if,,, i bought you some filipino food
you: Bring It On, Bitch Boy
yall playfully call each other insults btw but its all in good fun and only done occasionally !! usually yall call each other by ur names but !! sometimes yoongi drops a casual pet name and u go,,, Oh Worm??
and sometimes when u wanna embarass him u call him the sweetest, cringiest pet names in public, ESPECIALLY in front of his six bffs and they all go Oh? Yoongles? Baby? Sweetie Pie? Parker’s Pumpy Umpy Umpkin?? and he is out for the kill now sleep with one eye open parker
also pls do expect some hecking COOL trakc she made dedicated to you he made one for your 1 year anniversary and u cried because sometime its just instrumentals but this time it included a rlly heartfelt rap and u SOBBED nd hes like OOPS but also hehehe
also u both sometimes struggle with mental health and u guys just have,, the others fave comfort foods saved in the notes app and when one of yall texts the other going “sorry had a rough day” yall pick up the others fave foods then go and cuddle them
but if ur rough patches coincide yall do ur best to motivate the other to at least get smth small done that day so you can both be proud that in spite of it all you still made at least some progress :)
anyways you guys are the sweetest, cutest, dweebiest couple alive an god do we stan !!! just go ahead and flex on the rest of us with your functional healthy and cute relationship
but also here comes the s p i c e
hello??? yes i had to include at least some spice to this i mentioned spice a l o t
anyways ur the biggest brat to grace the earth and our boy loves to make you fucking weep and submit to him oopsies
hes a lot more dominant than his exterior lets him on to be ! and the marks on your skin (and by skin i mean All Over Your Body) only goes to show that he has no mercy and if you purposely tease him even a lil he will absolutely wreck you
he likes seeing u in lingerie !! like can either of you, one a musician the other a hopeful linguist and teacher, afford these expensive ass sets? no, but he loves seeing you in white lace and not even god could stop him ! unfortunate how sometimes he gets too rough and tears it off and u dont say anything in the moment but when you wake up the next morning, sore as fuck, you look at the remains of the cute lingerie and go,, yoongi that was 200 bucks
and hes like huh? thats awful spicy
anyways ur both initially a bit quiet during sex but when u accidentally let slip that ur just a bit of a degradee ur boy,, loses it
and from now on he dirty talks you to the high heavens and ur like FUCK because sometimes he calls you his whore but other times he sarcastically calls you princess and ur like,,, heck
also :^) his tongue technology is no joke :^) when he eats you out all of ur neighbors find out his name oopsies because he knows exactly what to do with his tongue and ur there, shaking, enjoying it all
honestly just expect to be sore
but he isnt always this intense !! sometimes he just wants to be close to you and yall spoon and stuff
or he might have had a long day producing so you just ride him
also some might say he sleeps immediately after sex but i think hed make sure that youre totally fine first
like he cleans you up with a towel, runs you a bath if you have the energy, and cuddles you and once ur both settled THEN will he fall asleep
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sweatylesbian-blog · 7 years
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p sure my parent has been messing with my dexedrine. a couple months ago i was like wtf guess i better take less propranolol... THEN i noticed when dividing one for a half dose, it was only filled up to the line (where the cap goes opaque). which is a little more than a half dose as it is, i think
THEN doing the same thing today it seemed fuller than usual but tbh it's hard to tell and actually makes me think that maybe they've been skimming off the top like that for a while...
but here's the thing that im chewing on, is that my ua came back with elevated amphetamine levels vs my rx'd dose. ive been taking half doses or less (actually my rx'd dose i rarely take the whole dose) for weeks.
sooo maybe there's smth up and im excreting more than normal of whatever they measure
PRETTY sure i haven't had anything that typically causes false positives
so........ yk.................. could it be they're really going this far? like a couple nights i was taking like 6 propranolol (over a few hrs as each dose failed me) still could barely sleep when ive been sleeping pretty good almost every night ?? and other days ive felt a little more focused than i would expect. but otherwise i mean, afaict im not showing any other signs of hypomania or anything like that, either.
ivw been thinking it's the stress/anxiety making me like that and that's probably the biggest thing buuut....... :// idk
maybe ill stop by the pharm and ask them to check the pills for me?? but they could be just back to normal at this point :/
lmao this actually wouldn't be the first time, before they sent me to inpatient (i was 16 or 17 and i was so eager to go like, wow a stable place that's not here... sígn me up!!) but, i drilled open the lockbox where they kept their meds/drugs and found a container of the beads from the capsules! ohhh boy lmao. then when i was like 'wtf' they claimed they were "testing me" LMAO ???
but also there were days (recently) where they seemed like they had taken some, themselves but i was like "nahh i haven't given them any in a long time" BUT I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MATTER lol
they know it concerns me a lot to potentially have my adhd meds cut off, and they know that between that rx and bipolar it's not a big effort to convince med pros im psychotic, while all they're doing is trying to love and support me ~~~
anywhwre in writing or in public they make these displays but if for example i say smth (that is mostly sarcastic and rhetorical btw) about "i wish we could record this so i can point out that inconsistency" it's just nothing but the statement "i do not consent to be recorded" WELL bitch i don't consent to being spied on and psychologically abused lol but we can't all get what we want, huh
ehh i dont have the time or budget, and i wouldn't have a use for it really, legally or personally. i know well enough for myself, and almost all my medical providers and anyone else they try to call on me will listen to my calm and rational explanations of how it is clearly gaslighting (as clear as gaslighting can be, anyway).
anyway fuck you! what ever justification you think you have, ever think about how id never do smthg like this to you despite the fact that you're responsible for so much of the c-ptsd i developed, & have emotionally abused me my whole life!! no, ive never looked to avenge myself or punish you, just to be truly loved (not the possessive and prideful sense that gets mad when the object of it deviates from how u want) and not mistreated!!
it's hilarious in retrospect that only right this minute am i realizing that when you tell me about how me leaving makes you realize im not the cause of your problems and maybe you "had a talk with yourself" it's basically the same as "im so sorry it won't happen again im working on it ive changed itll be different" and i come back, mostly bc i don't have a better option but also bc yeah when things are good they're great! and i keep thinking "this time it can last and ill only move out when im ready and not bc i can't stand it anymore" but no!! so far that has never been the case!!
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forgedwild-arch · 3 years
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fave thing about owning a pick-up is that i’m the Designated Item Mover for all my friends.
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authenticaussie · 7 years
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“okay i get it you’re a great thief and don’t want to go to jail but i’m the exhausted af detective that’s assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i’ll get you a good deal” au (James/Bastet :p)
Commissions! || Ko-fi!
Okay so like First of All no WAY would Bastet e v e r agree to that, she is Miss where's waldo / catch me if you can extraordinare but she takes a look at James' sleepless eyes and the wavering grip he has on his gun and sighs and flicks her wrist and goes "how about I give you a deal,"
"I'm??? the one holding a gun???" James goes, and Bastet snorts at him and goes "yeah but I'm basically bullproof and you're exhausted and are probably going to miss me and besides man do you really want to do all of the paperwork shooting at me will require and James looks like he's wilting at the thought and Bastet smirks even more, knowing she has him backed into a corner.
She coughs politely and looks pointedly at his gun and he sighs and puts it away and she just grins and bounces a bit on the balls of her feet and goes, "Okay so like I saw this in a show and it looks awesome and I mean honestly thieving's been kind of boring lately because everyone's so far from catching me, (James, crying in the corner, tries not to look like someone's punched him because he thought he was getting close) so !! I'm going to give you hints and clues to my next thievery
Oh btw what's your phone number
"I- what??" goes James, literally about two seconds from rattling it off tiredly before common sense stops him
"So I can send you the notes?? duh???"
(well I mean I could track her via the phone??? James thinks, forgetting that that Literally Hasn't Worked any other time but at this point basically desperate)
Slides his phone across to her because he literally Cannot at this moment in time, he's too exhausted for this shit,,,,,
Basically backflips off the roof and blows James a kiss and HE basically just wants to lie down and maybe not move for like??? a week??? maybe two, that sounds Super Good
He gets his phone back and for a week he doesn't hear from her and works overtime and tries to figure out what her plan is and what he's supposed to do and how to get through knowing s H E HAS HIS PHONE NUMBER??? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH SLEEP DEPRIVED HIM???
The phone number is enlisted under someone who doesn't even exist and James wants to scream
She put herself into his phone as "The Best [cat emoji]" and he doesn't find out until she texts him with this string of love heart emojis and a riddle with so many puns and look okay he was usually level headed but he swears to GOD he's going to ACTUALLY SHOOT HER
Or at least be a lil bit more brutal than is really called for when he arrests her because she's SUCH AN ASSHOLE OH GOD
James + the taskforce Bastet has figures out her stupid punny riddle and race off to where she's planning to steal her next artifact and she's laughing like crazy as they all chase her and James is like oh my GOD you're CRAZY and you literally just want us to chase you don't you???
She does a backflip and blows him a kiss and basically James wants to die
His partners rib him about it but also....aren't super pleased with him. Because he technically let her escape and look they're all tired too, and exasperated by this crazy lady who does whatever she wants???
Bastet texts after the heist and is like "awww, soz beau, better luck next time" and James is like "why do you text like a pre-pubescent girl I hate you"
(Bastet, holding her phone, bursts out laughing because she thinks this is hysterical and James is really fun to annoy)
James + Bastet + Texting = Nerds
James is SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ABOUT WANTING TO ARREST HER???? IF SHE COMPLAINS ABOUT ANYTHING (eg. weather) HE'S LIKE "HEY YOU WANNA KNOW A NICE CLIMATE CONTROLLED SPACE THAT'S ALL FOR YOU?? JAIL."
Bastet is Sarcastic AF and loves teasing James w/ hints to how she steals things and information about herself but she's super clever and doesn't drop anything she doesn't mean to
She mentions loving Egypt and James stares at his phone and then is hit by realisation and rolls over and tries to suffocate himself with a pillow he's in agony, of fucking course, how could they not pick up on this before???/
And he texts his team and he's like dude she only steals egyptian things and they're like
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY EGYPTIAN THINGS THERE ARE IN THE WORLD JAMES THAT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HELP
James who keeps getting pushed out of the group bc of his involvement w/ Bastet but she'll only talk to him and seems to know when someone else does it, and that just leads him to being more involved with Bastet and one day he complains explicitly and she just goes "want to know some place that isn't lonely??? By my side" and James is like WHAT THE HELL DID A THIEF JUST FLIRT WITH ME
all he manages to text back is "FRATRINISATION"
"I think that only applies if we work together?? Tho i mean we do work together in that i keep you in a job"
"no you dont??????????? i have literally three thousand other things i could do ????? I could help cats out of trees??? Help old ladies cross the street?????????????????????? LITERALLY ANYTHING???"
"Ah, but you LIKE chasing me. It's EXCITING"
"NO I DONT I HAVENT SLEPT PROPERLY IN WEEKS"
"Come sleep in my arms ;3"
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME"
"Because it's hilarious??? omfg????"
James spends months being flirted with and sent selfies of Bastet posing with valuable objects before she steals them with captions like 'im stealing this...like you stole my heart ;3" and "dont open this one at work babe you'll get in trouble ;333"
James Officially hates the ";3" emoji. Like. Every time anyone uses it now he LITERALLY is like do NOT
James is Dying (tm)
He starts sleeping a bit better tho. Bastet always warns them before heists now and he's still trying everything he can to find her but at the same time it's been months??? she obviously has an informant or someone who helps her escape that he has to find and it drives him c r a z y???
Oh ye of little faith
He catches her turning into a cat after a year and basically faints and wakes up in an apartment he doesn't recognise and sighs at him and is like "if you yell about kidnapping i swear to god I will give you a concussion"
"UM BUT YOU DID THO??"
"uh no??????????? you can leave whenever?????"
James Does Not leave whenever, James sits on the chair at stares at her and eventually goes "hahaha lol okay sure. Question tho Im not crazy right. Like. Bc i thought i saw you turn into a cat hahahaha hAHHA"
-Bastet, literally shapeshifting into a cat right in front of him-
James, laughing hysterically and going Super Green and almost passing out yet again (This poor boy is Suffering (tm)) but manages to stay awake and breathes out super slowly and looks at her and she looks back at him and he basically says "explain" and she turns back into a human and kind of (super badly) does and James ends up staying all day and talking to her and not  even realising where all the time has gone....
by the end of it he has more of an understanding of Bastet, and she's thrown like, three bangles at him accidentally and put shit on him bc she got restless while talking and he walks out of her place to catch her escaping over the rooftops and covered in jewelry this is Not how he expected this day to go
Bastet texts him when he gets home and is like "i want those back you know" and James is like
"Well looks like you'll have to steal them off me ;3″
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