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#i dont think i'll put the EXACT thing in my book
mistress-riddle · 7 months
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𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘. cedric diggory
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request — Cedric and his parents go on a trip to another country during the summer and during it, Cedric meets reader at a park reading, they strike up a conversation but seeing as they are both wizards and neither of them realize the other is also a wizard they dont keep in touch. when they return to Hogwarts, Cedric glances around and sees reader sitting with the Slytherins at dinner and asks them on a hogsmeade date to catch up. — @hea-vin
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you sigh as you take a seat on the bench, family long discarded in favour of resting your aching body from the shopping and sight-seeing you've been doing for the past 5 hours and reading a book instead. you fail to notice the boy taking a seat at the exact same time as you and so you startle when he chuckles and asks "long day?"
"sadly," you groan and stretch your neck to the side, closing over your novel "you in the same predicament?"
"sadly," he huffs and ruffles his hair as he leans back, legs spreading slightly in the process "where abouts are you from?" he asks shortly after.
"live in central london," you turn to properly look at him "what about you?"
"near devon, england." he seems to be around your age, brown hair mixed with golden highlights that seemed too soft and fluffy to be dyed. his face was certainly something to admire, high cheekbones dusted with pink and freckles that accompanied them, lips wide and full and jawline sharp in its edges. his eyes are a mix of hazel and green with specks of gold similar to the ones in his hair, once you notice you've been looking for a bit too long you clear your throat and look to the side.
.
"how long are you staying here for?" the boy asks you, head tilted to the side as he scans you, your face seemed familiar but he wasn't sure where he recognised you from.
"i think two more days," you ponder "i'm not sure, i'm just tagging along with my family." you shrug and he smiles in return.
"same here, though i think we're staying for the week." you nod and he follows it with "how have you liked it so far then?"
"it's been pretty alright actually," you respond with a grin "i mean apart from the heckling of being with family and having siblings, the sights here are so pretty and the food is delicious."
the brunet agrees with you, the same amiable smile decorating his lips "it is quite beautiful here, though i don't have any siblings to put a dimmer on my experience."
"oh lucky you," you sigh "i wish i was an only child."
the boy laughs as he shakes his head "i often wished i had a sibling to play with."
you glance at him with a cheeky look "want to trade?"
"i'm afraid i'm too used to being an only child." he shrugs and you pout.
"bummer, i could've been having the time of my life had you agreed." you shut your eyes as you allow the sunlight to bathe you in its rays, peeking an eye open after a few seconds, you focus it on the boy beside you "you sure?"
"you didn't exactly sell it out to be the greatest thing," he pauses and hums "might need some convincing."
you tap your fingers against your thighs as you ponder "well for starters, i guess they're somewhat cute—" you're cut off by a yell of your name. the two of you turn to see a 6 year old running towards you with a cup full of fruits.
"mama said you have to come back, we're going to another place." the child rushes through her words and almost chokes on a pineapple during the relay of her message and you send the boy next to you a look which caused him to chuckle.
"slow down, you're going to choke." you pat her back gently and shake your head as you stand up, sending her away as your bags go back in your hands and your book is put away.
"well, it was nice chat," you smile at the guy still sitting "i'll work on the pro's for the next time if i see you around."
"i look forward to it, farewell, my chatting companion." he waves and you try to mimic him with a tiny wave of your own as you follow behind your sister.
it's a shame you met the handsome stranger in a foreign country and not back at home. alas, it was probably worse that he was most likely a muggle who you could not communicate with. a bummer how all the good ones you're destined to only meet once you think to yourself.
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the bustling of the students feels familiar as you take your seat beside your friends in the great hall.
"how was your holiday?" asks emma from your side, nudging you with her elbow the second dumbledore announced that the feast shall commence.
"emma, had you not slept the whole ride from kings cross to here, you would've known."
your other friend, ben, interrupts as he places a hand on his chest and haughtily stares down at emma "since i was actually awake to converse with my friend like normal people do, i had the opportunity to hear about [name]'s first crush on this british boy she met on holiday."
emma ignores bens attitude as she turns to you with her mouth open, a gasp escaping her lips "no. way." she whispers and you roll your eyes.
"it's not a crush, ben just wants to mess with you." you retort at her wide eyes and disbelieving expression.
"come now, [name], it's not everyday you compliment a boys look to us, he must've really swooned you." ben teases and you sigh.
"you make it seem like i've never complimented anyone." you deadpan and your friends scoff.
"fine, i'll never tell you anything again." you mutter in spite and ben and emma hurriedly attempt to placate you throughout the rest of dinner as they try to coerce you to spill about the handsome stranger who caught your attention and affection.
towards the end of dinner when conversations take over and everyone is only lightly taking bites of their desserts, ben finds his eyes drifting behind you before his expression changes into one of curiosity "say," he interrupts you and emma, you two turn to him with an unimpressed look "does anyone know why the diggory boy keeps looking back here every now and then?" he gives you a look "any of you associated with him?"
emma wistfully sighs as she places her head on her closed fist "i wish, i'd totally get with him if he wanted." you give her a look and clear your throat.
"umm, who's diggory?"
the two sigh "cedric diggory? the captain of the hufflepuff quidditch team?..." ben asks as if that'll help you and you turn to emma "he's blondish, tall, absolutely dreamy?" she quips and you hum.
"he sounds like the perfect package, how come i don't know about him?" you ask and they shrug.
"merlin knows how in your world you are, as a slytherin, it will do you good to build connections." ben adds and emma taps your shoulder to get you to turn around and show you who exactly cedric is. as you turn your head however, you catch the eye of a certain quidditch captain, you're met with the sight of the boy from your holiday and your breathe hitches as he stands and makes his way over.
"okay, now why is he coming here?" ben asks once more and emma shrugs as she watches the two of you stare at each other.
"it's you." you both utter at the same time and his face breaks out into a smile that you can't help but reciprocate.
"i thought i'd never see you again." the boy scratches the back of his neck as his cheeks colour a rosy hue.
"and i you." you nod in reciprocation.
"well since luck seems to have found me, i think i have to take full advantage of it and ask you on a date." you hear one of your friends choke but you choose to ignore them and put up a front of a thinking face as cedric waits for your answer "i just have to find out what the pros are."
you sigh as you cross your arms "i did try to come up with an extensive list..." you look up at the boy and nod "fine, i'll free a day and make a compelling case for you."
you did not think cedrics grin could widen anymore and yet you stand (sit) corrected as his teeth show "i look forward to it!" he waves you goodbye as he heads back to his table and rejoins his friends.
"turns out this priss not only knows diggory but managed to bag a date with him."
"prick."
"dear merlin, why don't i have their luck?"
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tahyal · 1 year
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Hello tahyal! How can I rewire my subconcious mind? This year I am really stepping into self discovery and spirituality more deeply and last week I realised I have so many limiting beliefs about myself.
Last week my brother's bestfriend, someone I liked a lot, got together with someone and that triggered so many things inside of me that I didnt even know were there. Unfortunately I took it hard, maybe because I've never experinced romance before, which also has been bothering me recently.
I look at his life and think I'll never have that many friends, I'll never have exciting experiences or I'll never find love or be intimate with anyone (Im a late bloomer, never had sex or had a boyfriend, Im 22 years🥲), I'll be stuck in my country living a mediocre life forever etc etc.
I noticed this pattern before and I realised I just dont have high hopes for myself in any regard and Im trying to change that this year. I need help feeling my feelings without ruminating, which I have been trying to do this week, I dont know if I have been very successful at it though. I experience anxiety and a lot of worrying which Im trying to work on as well. I thought I was doing better but that rocked me last week. I am willing to put in the work.
Do you have any messages or advice you can share with me? I know it's a lot, youre the only person Ive shared this with😭
Thank you for what you do on your platform, your grace inspires me, much love🤍
Hi love! Its wonderful that you’re aware of this and are willing to shift your mindset, that’s already 40% of the work.
I’ll give you a list of videos, books, and people that I recommend you check out, get a journal and write down the things that spark something within, and get into the habit of being honest with yourself (you’re already on the right track I think), don’t be afraid to write down your exact feelings, take some time with yourself to figure out why you process things a certain way, why you have certain beliefs, where do they come from, how long have you had them for, how would you react/act if you didn’t have them, which beliefs would help you be the best version of yourself, how can you implement these beliefs, etc.
So, here’s the list :
- Psycho cybernetics by Dr Maxwell Maltz (can listen to it on youtube)
- The Game of life and how to play it by Florence Scovel shinn (available on youtube as well)
- Caroline Myss’s books and conferences
- Dylan James on youtube (I usually find manifestation coaches odd lol but he’s very thorough and pushes you to get to the root cause of your triggers and blockages - he studied neuroscience as well I think)
- Jessica Richburg’s yoga videos on youtube : this is for daily movement, which has a huge impact on your mental and emotional states. Especially hip opening exercises, they’re great for emotional release.
- Dr David Snyder’s NLP (neuro linguistic programming) free lectures on youtube
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mrs-munson-quinn · 2 years
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Electric Love ↯ A Eddie Munson Fanfic
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| Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
| ST Season 4 Spoilers !!
| TW!! Mentions of death, slight bullying, blood, swearing, traumatic past mentioned!!!! Read at your own risk.
| Slow Burn
Previous Part-> chapter 2
MASTERLIST
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↯ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴊ’s ↯
Tick tock. The sound of a clock ticking is the last thing she hears as she wakes from her nightmare, gasping. Sweat dripping down her forehead as she replays the horrifying dream.
The screams of pain. Kids screaming for help. Begging for the experiments to stop.
Terrified. Thats how y/n feels. Its been a while since she has had a nightmare involving the lab and the horrifying things they have done.
She looks around the living room confused breathing heavily as the scared girl tries to calm down her fast beating heart she dosent even remember falling asleep.
Apparently she was tired considering she feel asleep while reading one of her favorite books Romeo and Juliet.
Y/n wasn't planning on falling asleep.She was hoping on making dinner for max since that poor girl has been only eating takeout out food for a few weeks straight.
She turns to look at the clock that hangs on the wall of the trailer. 11:00 pm. To late to do anything now.
Deciding that its time to head to the motel she is staying at. She gets up feeling slightly dizzy from getting up to early, the half asleep girl heads to max room quietly looking around the teens room finally finding the note pad she had seen earlier. Deciding to write a note to max.
Was gonna make dinner,
But fell asleep. I'll come by tomorrow
Again and make my famous spaghetti :) (ps staying at The Hawkins Motel by 6th street)
Y/n Xxx.
She then puts the note on max nightstand and heads to grab her purse and keys.
Then finally heads where her car was parked.
Right when she is about to open her car door she hears someone shout her name the girl turns to look who called for her to only find the boy she has been wondering about.
"Y/n!" Eddie screams as he sees the girl about to go inside her car. He had been outside taking a smoke on his porch thinking about the mysterious girl he met earlier and who he had helped with their groceries.
Wanting to talk to the girl more he saw his opportunity and took it. Callng out the girl's name grabbing  y/n's attention.
"Wait up !" Y/n sees the boy jogging towards her. And although the only thing the girl wants to do is head to her motel room a go to sleep but the girl can help but feel slightly excited to talk to the boy. Hoping that she dosent look like absolute trash.
The girl leans against her car waiting for the long haired boy to caught up to her.
"Hey, Angel" eddie say breathlessly from the jogging. Finally caught up with girl. He smiles to himself seeing the girls cute sleepy face that he can help but find adorable.
"Hey eddie" she softly smiles at the boy. Her voice slight raspy from the sleep. She slowly checks the boy out letting out a small chuckle as she sees the pijamas the boy is wearing.
The very out of character pijamas to be exact.
"Winnie pooh pjs, really?" She raises an eyebrow As she lets out a small laugh at the end not believing on what she is seeing.
Sure eddie has been nothing but a gentleman to her. But from the times she has seen and met him she was able to come with the conclusion that he is more of a though guy sure he probably has a soft side but hidden. So for him to be wearing the winnie pooh pijs is shocking.
"What! I saw them at the store and they were on sale. And if you must know they are really comfortable" he say with a defensive tone and serious face which he wasnt able to keep for long letting out a smile at the end.
"Hey, hey! I was not judging. No need to be so defensive" y/n raises her hands in a surrender mode. "And i dont doubt by any second that they are comfortable" she laughs.
"Ok enough about making fun of my winnie pooh pjs" eddie begs jokingly with puppy eyes.
"What are you doing out this late young lady!" he changes the topic as he scolds at the short girl like a mother would, his hands on his hips.
"If you must know MOM im heading to the motel I'm staying at." y/n slightly empathizes the word mom. She hasnt felt this comfortable with someone since billy. How is it that she has only onow this boy for a day and she is already joking with him?
"To be fair i was not planning on going to the motel this late but i accidentally fell asleep at my friends place" she shrugs.
"and the friend that you are talking about is max mayfield, correct?" eddie asks.
"Wait that made me sound like a stalker. Its just i had seen you come out of the mayfields trailer and i highly tought it your gonna be friends with that asshole neil or with mrs.mayfield although she is really nice. You know what im just going to shut up" he rambles hoping that whatever he is saying doesnt make him seem like a creep.
"Calm down Eds, you didnt sound like a stalker" she reassures the embarrassed boy. "And yeah Max is the friend im talking about." Y/n answers.
"Alright cool then" eddie awkwardly scratched his neck.
"You looked exhausted so I'll leave you alone now." He looks down at his feet his cheeks flushed red. Why is he all of the sudden shy, where did his social skills go to?
"Also did you call me eds" he raises his eyebrows in question still with his red cheeks thankful that its dark outside so the girl cant see his flushed face.
"I-i guess i did it just came out. If you want i can just call you eddie?" Y/n stutters in embarrassment.
"No-no its fine. I like it" eddie smiles looking down at her.
"Well you probably want to go to your temporary humble adobe so a I'll leave you alone" eddie says.
"Goodnight, angel. Drive safe" he smiles at her.
"Goodnight eds" she recklessly kisses his cheek. Blushing right after.
"And im glad i met you, we'll be good friends" she hesitatingly says as she get in her car. Saying one last goodbye. Quickly drives away with sweaty hands and flushed cheeks as she thinks about the things she just did. Since when is she this shy? You could say that being friends with billy made her confident but that confidence seemed to disappear.
Little did she know she wasnt the only one with flushed cheeks and sweaty hands as eddie stood by the porch of the mayfield, his sweaty hand resting on the cheek that y/n had kissed. He just stood there in a trance with a silly smile on his face in awe that the pretty girl kissed his cheek
𖦹𖦹𖦹
Hawkins Motel. A neon sign came into view as y/n turns to the motels parking lot.
The motel is you regular crappy one. Sure she would of wished to stay at a five start hotel but with no money all she could afford was this crappy motel.
She steps out of her car closing door and getting her stuff from her trunk. Thankfully what she brought wasnt much just enough shoes and clothes to at least last her for a week truthfully she really isnt on planning for staying long.
So with one bag is enough.
Locking her car up, she heads to the motels entrance.
23. 24. she reads the little signs as her eyes roam for her number.
Her finally hitting on the 27.
As she heads inside the room making sure she locks up the door well and secure.
she turns on the lights
The worn out lights flickering as they struggle to light up finally a few seconds the flickering stops allowing the tired girl to look at her room.
Just as she had expected well made beds but bad old furniture. The paint peeling of the walls. And that musty smell motels rooms tend to have.
The girl to tired to even brush her teeths she just takes off her uncomfortable jeans and throws herself at the hard bed
just as she closed her eyes her body completely froze up. Her body covered in chills. And while that happened the lights started flickering.
Something bad is going to happen. She feels it in her gut. As the girl couldn't even pay attention to the feeling as she finally slips into an unwanted dream.
❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎
ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜʏs ʟɪᴋᴇᴅ ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ. ᴀʟsᴏ ᴡᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏɴs ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʏ/ɴ, ʏᴀʏ!
𝙧 ❤︎︎
Taglist: @hollyismentallyillhelp @theshinyrock @yoyoanaria @faefanatic @abbiesxox
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sleepless-crows · 1 year
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My Analysis for this Picture
THIS IS WRONG. I AM FIGURING IT OUT. DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING I SAY. ILL EDIT THIS SOON.
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First of all, these are just my opinions. You can have your own. I can have my own.
And most of the things I will mention in this post are from my other posts and reblogs. (And I'll likely keep editing this if I find new information.)
Let's start with what I think is happening in this scene: I think this takes place in Kaz's room. The same exact place we see the De Kappel in the show. This is a sort of flashback. And Kaz is giving Inej her first knife after they managed to steal Van Eck's De Kappel painting as it is seen hanging on Kaz's wall.
Next, I will explain why I think this in terms of how it fits timeline-wise and why I disagree with other interpretations.
This will be in bullet form now for your attention span:
I don't think Kaz is removing his gloves or tying her vest here. That would stray too far from the timeline in the books. And if this scene was emotional in that sense, I know Freddy wouldn't act it as it looks in the picture. Kaz looks calm and collected without the jaw clenching and internal turmoil.
Notice how Inej has her hands behind her back. I don't think this fits current Kanej's dynamic (from where we left off in the show or started in the books). It feels like she still views and treats Kaz as her "boss", as show!Jesper calls him.
If you watch Episode 1 of the show when the De Kappel flashes on screen, you will see that the placement of the lamp and the painting are very similar as to this picture. The differences were that the walls were smoother, there was a fancier lamp, and the De Kappel was framed (in episode 1). All of these point to this picture happening before the Slat and the Crow Club finished renovating. This also makes sense if he were to give Inej her first knife early on.
A loophole in this theory is that I always assumed that Inej got her first knife way before she was competent enough to steal the De Kappel with Kaz. But I wouldn't put it past the show to do that.
My Other Thoughts
When I first saw the picture, it reminded me of the eye-contact, Inej-giving-Kaz-the-knife scene before she went to perform. That one. And if this picture is really Kaz giving Inej her first knife, there will be so much parallels and I'm excited for that. (x)
I think with the general vibe of the picture that Kaz will say something really poetic again, like the "No Saint ever watched over me, not like you have" quote. And if that happens, this will definitely be one of my favorite scenes. Also, we deserve a nice quote with the word "knives", don't you think? (x, x)
This is a stretch and absolute clownery. The scene from the teaser of Kaz in front of the De Kappel and this picture. I like to think there is a symbolism between Kaz wearing a coat and hat in the teaser while he was shrouded in darkness. While in this picture, Kaz isn't. (x)
This picture feels like a painting. Every Kanej scene is always so poetic and that was my initial reasoning. After staring at it more, I realized that when we compare the picture and just the De Kappel (which is present in the picture), they have a lot of similarities in color and pattern. There’s a sort of yellow light from the left in both pictures. The green on the walls remind you of the grass in the painting. And then there’s Kaz’s black clothing and there’s a sort of black near the right. (x)
And here is just my lengthy thread of reblogs that show how I came up with my theory. (x)
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koshercorsets · 11 months
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hey I'm converting right now and I just wanted to say that I had the exact same experience, I reached out to my Rabbi at the tail end of the intro to Judaism class and had to wait about a year for the next one to start, I'm not sure if you know but they might be hesitant to talk with you about conversion because it's custom to turn down potential converts 3 times before letting them even begin converting so if they seem like they aren't giving you a chance just keep trying and keep in mind that rabbis are really busy, I would recommend reading some Jewish books and listening to Jewish podcasts in the time between now and your intro to Judaism class starting, it's a great way to get more involved in Judaism and go ahead and start learning more about it formally while waiting, I'm a big fan of Living a Jewish life by Anita Diamont and her other book Choosing a Jewish life, but I'd be more than happy to send you the list of books from my Rabbi sponsoring my conversion if you want! It's definitely a frustrating wait while waiting for the class but it's absolutely worth it once you get here
hi! i'm definitley well aware of the 3x rejection tradition, but that wasn't what was going on. i didn't go into too much detail about the conversations i had with each of the rabbis so i dont blame you for assuming that might be it, but it was more of a dismissal than a rejection. especially since i kept going back to one of them after being "rejected"/dismissed and if anything it felt like he was actually bothered by me rather than like, paying attention to my persistence, like how i imagine he would have been had it been tradition. i'm not sure how to describe how we talked without trying to flat-out quote them directly which feels a little strange to me lol
several other people have also recommended reading books and doing research in my own time and trust me i have been!! i have seven or eight books that i own that i'm getting to one by one, and "choosing a jewish life" is actually my current read (although i do have Opinions about it that i'll share later once i'm finished with it). one of the shuls i visited when i was trying to meet with the rabbis also has a reading list and i've chosen several books off it it already, too, even if i don't end up converting there. i definitely thought that was a smart idea for them to have (you have to pick a certain number of both fiction and non-fiction books off their approved list in order to complete conversion)
i will say though (and i'm not sure if anyone else has had a similar experience), one of the rabbis actually advised me against doing my own research about judaism of any kind. he said he believed most of the things people discuss on the internet are false (although he didnt really specify what things, which is...annoying, to say the least), and that without the guidance of a rabbi i was wasting my time. which....felt a little unkind, almost? but he was the one i liked the least, so who knows.
but part of my post was also that it almost feels like half-assing it to read jewish literature and continue learning, but not actually do anything to begin the conversion process. that was why i said if the next rabbi i speak to does the same thing,* i'm going to consider fully putting *everything* on pause, including reading, until i can actually take the class. that way it won't feel like a constant reminder of what i could be doing instead, had things worked out differently. yknow?
-
*which he may not!! i checked his shul's website and they aren't affiliated with the same board of rabbis that the other ones were, so he may not even require the class to convert at all?? i do think the class would be beneficial and provide a sense of structure, but time-wise (also money and location-wise. as someone who relies on a shitty public transit system to get around, the class meetings changing location every week to a different shul on the complete other side of town is going to be absolutely horrendous), it's not "optimal" (not sure what other word to use). i definitely have both questions and concerns about it but i'll be able to ask the rabbi if everything goes well :)
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thebewilderer · 7 months
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hey on the off chance that you give a shit, i just saw your tags on a post making fun of your coworker for not being able to round 9.79 up to 10, and i just wanted to say irt your comment about not respecting people who cant do maths even when they have a calculator and sheet of paper that dyscalculia is a very real learning disability and it doesnt make someone inherently stupid or childish. not that im saying this is what your coworker has, just that you specifically said you dont respect people who cant do maths even with help, which was a little ableist. not coming for you or anything, just thought id offer a bit of experience. have a good day.
so i queue most of my posts so i don't remember the exact post you're talking about, but i do remember the story i was telling, and your retelling is pretty disingenuous, so i'll retell it here. i'll call my coworker "michelle," because that's her name and she's awful enough that i don't care about keeping her anonymous.
anyways, so the customer's total was $9.79, and they wanted to round it up to ten for a donation. we don't have a "roundup" button, so we have to manually enter the cents they want to donate.
(i don't remember the specific post (and honestly i don't care enough about this ask to go looking for it), but i'm sure i said something along the lines of "i don't fault people for not being able to do the mental math, that's not the issue" because that's what i say when i tell the story in real life, just to clarify that that's not the issue i have)
next to every register we have two things that are relevant here. one is a calculator. michelle used the calculator, and i have no idea what she put in but it gave her the answer of 31 cents, which she entered into the register. this is obviously not correct, and the customer's total afterwards was $10.10 instead of their desired $10.00. she then called me over to complain that the calculator was broken and gave her the wrong answer.
the second relevant thing we have next to each register is a small piece of laminated paper taped to the side of the screen. it looks something like this:
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after i corrected the cents amount and the customers left, i showed her this sheet.
she said "oh yeah, haha, i don't know how to use that"
taking a deep breath to control my initial urge to facepalm, i explained to her that all she had to do was look at the 79 under the leftmost "if" column, and then go across to the "then" column to see that she needed to type in 21 cents.
this completely baffled her.
i came up with more examples: "see so like, if the total ends in .12, you'd go to this column-" here I pointed to the exact row and column that had the 12 in it, "-and you'd go across to here-" and i moved my finger horizontally to the 88 next to it, "-and you'd enter in 88 cents!"
and she said
and this still pains me
she said "oh, so if the customer has something that costs like, $12.65, i'd enter in 88 cents!"
and for a second my brain stopped. i went into more detail about how it's the ending two numbers, not the beginning two numbers. i think she might have gotten it by the end, but who fuckin knows. the conversation ended with her saying something along the lines of "these sheets are so confusing!"
anyways so that's the actual story.
the parts i didn't mention were that the customers were hispanic people who spoke very very little english. michelle was asking them every question in the book in very fast english ("do you want the card? here's a thousand reasons why. do you want to donate? do you want to round up?") and these poor women clearly just wanted to get their shit and leave.
and then after the painstaking lesson on how to look at the sheet of paper, michelle made the comment "i don't know why they'd come in here if they don't speak english" with an accompanying half-laugh that white women always do when they expect you to agree with them on their racism. i mention this part because that's why i'm so nasty about her. i don't dislike her because she's stupid. i dislike her because she's a racist trumper antivaxxer.
and just so you know, sometimes people are just not smart. there doesn't always have to be a learning disability involved. i know someone who has dyscalculia. i was engaged to them for four years. i know it's a thing. but there's a difference between his inability to do math and number-related shit and her unwillingness to acknowledge that she's bad at numbers and tendency to blame everything around her for her ineptitude.
i know i'm an outlier with math. it's why i have an explicit disclaimer i mention every time i tell that story that i have no problem with people who can't do mental math, that i know it's normal to not be able to do mental math, and that not being able to do mental math doesn't mean you're automatically the stupidest person alive. i know very few people who can do that in their heads. sure, i personally think it's odd that people can't do it automatically, but i use my empathy-human brain to acknowledge that since it's such a large portion of the population that can't do it, it's probably me that's weird. people aren't stupid for not being able to do mental math. i feel like i've made this very clear, both on this post and on my blog in general (i have many posts where i acknowledge that math and stem fields aren't the be-all-end-all of intelligence. this is not a secret.)
and side note: it doesn't make someone bad or less of a person if they're stupid, it just makes them not smart. even on this website, we have a tendency to go "you're not stupid, you're just smart in other areas!" which is kind of demeaning imo. some people just aren't smart. and it doesn't make them a bad person to not be smart! what makes someone a good or bad person is how they treat other people.
and as a concluding note to you personally, you probably shouldn't start your messages with "on the off chance that you give a shit." it's extremely aggressive right off the bat, puts the person who receives it on the defense immediately, and also ironically makes them a lot less likely to give a shit, or respond in good faith. just a protip.
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westanallthegays · 1 year
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Writing 101 with your favorite queer (EDITED)
Writing is h a r d .
If you think writing is easy, then I'm going to ask you if you've ever WRITTEN A STORY BEFORE because clearly, you're oblivious af.
Writing isn't just w r i t i n g a s t o r y, it's late nights trying to figure out how the fuck to write this moment, it's sleep deprivation to puzzle this character over, it's scribbling ideas down, it's questioning whether your writing is GOOD or not and whether anyone would actually want to read it, it's staring at your google doc or word doc and thinking, "Is this worth it? Maybe I should just quit ahead of time."
It's so many things, but it's not fucking EASY.
Which is why I'm writing this post for y'all. Let's be clear, I don't know everything about writing. I'm in progress, still trying to figure shit out, but I thought I might share what I've learned with you through a very, very painful process.
So ✨here we go✨
One of the things about writing is that everyone has different methods. Here's mine. Use it or not. It's up to you.
I know a lot of people who don't plan their writing out are gonna be screaming at me, but I've found out that having at least a basic plan, if not the simplest plan EVER formed by just a few bullet points really helps.
I'll give you an example (which is miraculous themed because I'm pretty sure everyone at least KNOWS what miraculous is)
Marinette goes to school
Alya gushes to her about this "cool new girl" that has arrived
Marinette reaches school and discovers the new girl is Lila Rossi
shenanigans ensue. Adrien is the only one who isn't clueless. Lie la is a bitch, as usual (what is new?)
Okay, this example was pretty crappy, but you get the idea. It doesn't even have to be an exact copy of what's gonna happen in your story, just the general idea and a few more plot points. Doing this when I'm bored, whether in my sketchbook or on a google doc, really helps. For one, I can just write down a bunch of shitty ideas and later go through them and decide which ones are the least crappy to put in my fanfic.
I'm a planning person, but I don't go super crazy when planning out a chapter. I've heard of some people creating the most intricate plans EVER for their story, and well, sorry, but that just DOESN'T work for me. This method is a lot more simpler, and it's not totally crazy.
(hopefully)
Also, if you're writing a story based on a tv show or book series(*cough percy jackson *cough) Then I find it INCREDIBLY helpful to write down a list of all of the minor characters i want to include in my story, because let's be real, I'm pretty sure I'd forget after like a day.
And I've read too many stories with only the main characters and there being like one mention of a minor character. (*cough GROVER *cough)
So spare your innocent readers (not really) and use this method.
Welp, that's it! I'm sorry this ran on for so long guys, I had a lot to say and wanted to elaborate on it enough so that it made sense. If you actually read through this shit pile of a post, then TYSM IT REALLY MEANS A LOT.
Stay safe, don't fall into a deep, dark hole of depression that you can't get out of, and I'll see ya later~
EDIT:
Hi guys! It's been a few months since I stepped into the world of tumblr and wrote this post. After that i kinda forgot about tumblr with the existential crisis that is school and basic stress, so ....sorry bout that.
Thank you to the two people who liked this post, it means a lot <3
As usual, your girl is here to give some more tips that i learned over those few months i was incognito.
2. Brain dump, second draft, third draft, fourth draft...
I dont know if yall have heard of the brain dump in writing. I recently found about it when despertely researching ways to improve my crappy writing. Basically, a brain dump is when you take all of your ideas and write them down on paper or a google doc or whatever you use. I thought it was a pretty good idea, but i kind of already told you guys this with my previous tip above.
SO I REMODELED IT YOU'RE WELCOME
MY version is that you do a brain dump but in the form of a really messy, chaotic first draft. Write whatever you want using the ideas you have, and you dont even have to put proper dialouge. I find that i obsesse way too much over dialogue, so with my brain dump, i just leave blank spaces where the dialogue should be and put that in the second draft, which is a much more organized version of the brain dump.
THAT WAY, you can have all of your ideas down and begin to edit them into a slightly better piece of artistic creativity. I haven't tried this out myself, so im not sure how reliable it is. if you want to try this out, drop a comment telling me how it went.
Im pretty sure that's it. There isn't much esle to say, and im sure yall are familar with the "first draft, second draft" concept thingie so i dont have to explain that bit.
Again, sorry about my long absence. I would promise to do this more often, but im pretty sure i wont be able to keep that promise, so . . .
anyways, have a great day and ill see you soon (hopefully!)
:)
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stealshearts · 1 year
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ever since reading volume one and two of the manga, I've been thinking about the initial meeting between Sojiro and Ren. I've been thinking about how Ren was literally terrified of him, nervous, of being thrown out into the streets.
there's a few times at night when you sleep in bed and Ren will toss and turn with the flavor text: I dreamed I was tossed out onto the streets and starved. I feel I've gained guts from this". which shows that yes, he really does fear losing his home and being tossed out. Sojiro makes a point of constantly reminding Ren of this every so often for the better part of the first game.
what's more is that when Ren first arrives, Sojiro basically sums up the situation for him as "you stuck your nose in grown folks business and that's how you ended up here" or something to that effect. Ren attempts to speak up by saying "it's not how-" and Sojiro cuts him off saying "I don't want to hear it. keep your head down and do your work and you'll be off probation in a year. don't say unnecessary things." or again something to that effect because I don't have exact screen caps. (was readin on my kindle) but either way, there's a lot of manga panels that show how visibly that effected Ren. even at school, when Ren tried to approach the gossiping kids, they'd hurriedly run away. in the anime the girl next to him practically scoffed she had to share her text book with him as if he were like garbage on her shoe. No one wanted to talk to him. You can see in the manga how depressed Ren is even though he tries to hide it. he's alot down, there's visible pain in his eyes even if there's a smile on his face. the smile never quite reaches his eyes.
he's clearly hurting.
what really got me thinking about this was the manga panel where Ren brings Morgana home. Sojiro's ticked off that Ren's late and Ren basically runs to his room. It's during a conversation that Sojiro climbs up the stairs and Ren and Morgana attempt to hide him under the comforter. There's a panel in there where Ren is visibly afraid and he thinks "If Sojiro's still pissed and he finds Morgana he's going to throw me out on to the streets."
and that single panel has sat in my brain since I read it yesterday because no child should visibly fear having their place, their home taken from him.
although he ends up letting Morgana stay and Ren thinks "maybe he's nicer than I thought" it doesn't help that their initial meetings are so very rocky and Ren honestly has a lot of anxiety around him. it's not just because Sojiro is an authority figure and can basically send him back to juvenile hall, I think his reactions are an indication that Ren's stay in juvenile hall has some or a lot of trauma behind it and its compounded by Sojiro being so gruff and rough around the edges and reminding Ren that one misstep and his life is over. though I'm glad that they move past this and Ren teaches Sojiro about family and how to be a dad. it's heartwarming, but the two of them need a real heart to heart because I do think Ren would have some lingering anxieties.
Ren in the end does think of Sojiro as a parental figure and he becomes very important in his life, but it's only after he can talk to him and they can become closer and he begins to see that Sojiro isn't as mean, isn't as horrible as other adults in his life. he's terrified. I like to think that it's not just because Ren is a polite and "good kid" as he puts it, but maybe they have a real heart to heart and Sojiro realizes that he doesn't need to be so terrifying around Ren too? maybe it's something that happens "off screen" that we dont get to see. they have heart to hearts but it's mostly about Futaba and through that Sojiro does eventually say how much Ren means to him. but like it doesn't really ever address the personal issues those two would have with each other (if any) because he did kinda sorta bully Ren a bit with the constant "remember I'll throw you out if you cause me any trouble" bit. which wasn't the best style of guardianship in the beginning. but maybe it never gets brought up because Ren does low key feel like he can't speak.
anyway I have a lot of thoughts and this is long enough. but....i have a lot more....
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thomas-j-nook · 11 months
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Just got home. Did our groceries today so we didn't have to go out tomorrow. I know my exact total while shopping. Well at walmart. Because i go on walmart.com and add every ingredient to my cart.
It gives me a list to work with and the total price of things. And i just remove the items from the cart after each section. Like I'll get all the produce and then delete the produce items. It also adds taxes and does the math for me. Lol. Its how i budget and people says its weird but i always stay in budget this way. I went like $15 over but pete bought a $11 baseball cap for work and i had to grab some arugula for the bunny. So i stayed pretty damn close.
But first we stopped at label shopper. Its getting hot. I was a size 22 last summer. I'm now 14/16 depending on brand. I also like pants that are loose around the stomach. Thats why i wore sweat pants today. Actually I'm very bloated and i started my period when i got home so that would explain my tummy issues today. I did find two really nice shorts. Both $9.99. And they fit great. Blacks are 14. Greens are 16. The green is a little darker in person. The picture makes it look lighter. I have issues finding shorts. I like longer shorts. Kinda like between the knee and upper leg is what i like. I don't wear shorter shorts because my thighs are think and the friction can cause a forest fire. Lol. Its also a huge sensory thing i dont like my uppers lets to touch skin to skin. I am picky with pants. I wore sweat pants and wind pants until 8th grade when my parents forced me to wear jeans. Now i wesr jeans but they need to be slim leg. Like no boot cut. I don't like that feeling. My pants are always tight around my ankles. Thats why I'm suprised i found two pairs of shorts under $10 a peice i liked.
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I am seeing the gyno BUT she had to reschedule for june. Its also important i see my doctor and not a random nurse because my doctor gets me. She's the once that offered to sedate me, put the iud in and do a pap at the same time. She is the first gynecologist that didn't make me feel bad at myself. That didn't degrade me for having a hard time getting a pap done. She actually understood and offered an alternative way. I see her in june. She was booked out a month. They offered me to see a nurse but I'd rather wait for her.
I did the groceries. Stopped at the farm stand for petes cookie. Its a sweet treat we get for him every once in a while. Its a homemade baked chocolate chip cookie and i have had a bite and i can confirm its the best chocolate chip cookie I've had in my life.
Going to cook french toast for dinner just because i have bread expiring tomorrow. Another example of me being kitchen budget smart. Breads freaking $4 a loaf so I'm gonna get what i can out of it. That and turkey bacon and fruit.
Wynter is visiting tomorrow at noon.
I came home and told samson that the guys from program saw him in the window this morning. Thats new for him. He started recently. Even if my landlord is gardening he stays there and watches her. He does not run away. My cats HATE kids. Like really hate. Even if the kids are quite if someone under 13 enters they house they hide. They have not had any bad experiences with kids. I think its peppers who freaks out and the rest follow. Calliope takes one step in my house and they scatter and she is so sweet and gentle to animals. She pets so gentle. She even says "gentle" as she pets an animal. Its because thats the word her mom uses. Instead of yelling at her she says "Calliope you need to be gentle." She listens so well. Terrible twos are not to terrible with her.. as of now anyways. Her biggest tantrum is over food. Dinner will be done in 5 minutes and she wants an apple sauce pouch and they say "not now Calliope. Dinner is almost done." And she throws herself on the floor crying and her face gets beat red. And my brother is litteraly plating up her food, cutting it and letting it cool a bit. Plus that day she already had two pouches as snacks lol she only does this with applesauce. She choses applesauce over cookies. But the good part is if she's not feeling well and not wanting to eat we can always get her to eat applesauce. She does eat a good variety of foods. She loves raspberrys and Broccoli. She's basically eats whatever. Axle had trouble with milk. He's over a year so he can drink cows like. She's tried weaning it in and he gets sick. She tried half cows milk and half formula. She was actually asking her pediatrician for advice on to do formula or a lasctose free milk. But babies are usually supose to have whole milk.
I'm watching the documentary that henry found on hbo max today. Mc millions. Its about a guy who rigged the mcdonalds monopoly game to get hundreds of thousands of dollars. I feel like henry and i have very similar taste in tv. No one else showed any interest in it except henry and I. I love documentarys and the stranger ones gets me. The animal ones are cool but learning what i guy did to scam McDonald's is just cool. I'm recently on a chernobyl kick and i find it so interesting. The goverment tried to cover it up, and passed the blame and all this stuff. One of the scientists killed himself. He tried to tell the truth and expose it and they said fuck you. And he had people watching him 24/7. He killed himself and his findings. They got found and his finding helped prevent other disasters. People went undercover. Its an insane story. Even watching it i thought "henry is probably the only one i know who would also appreciate these facts" i almost ways watch documentarys or how its made, history of food. Pete gets bored of it lmao. He falls asleep. I like facts.
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quotidian-oblivion · 3 years
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Wally: I can't believe we're stuck in this room.together!
Dick, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate.
(Shuri and Peter, extend the couch)
(Dick and Wally, bring out more chairs)
Avengers and Justice League: ...
(Wally zips away and comes back with DVDs)
(Peter uses his webs to make everyone sit down)
(Dick puts the first DVD in the TV)
(Shuri switches the TV on)
(A 3 hour compilation of memes and vines show up on TV)
Flash: ... there's a rip in space-time and...
Dick, Shuri, Wally and Peter: SHHHHHHH-
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verytendou · 3 years
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✨AESTHETIC TAG✨
Tagged by @brokuro thanks maddy!!
>> 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 5/20
baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night |
>> 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐀 6/20
neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story |
>> 𝐄𝐃𝐆𝐘 11/20
closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks |
>> 𝟕𝟎’𝐒 7/20
colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding |
>> 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋 2/20
collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colourful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairylights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details |
this was really fun!! I guess im 'edgy' but uh! i dont think anyones surprised haha [quietly shoves band tees into a drawer]. Not tagigng anyone bc i think i have tagged quite a few people (some more than once!) and yall probably want a break haha. but if anyone else wants to do it i'd love to see other ppls results :O
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queersturbate · 3 years
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oooh, yes please. shed all your light having ocd thoughts :)
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hello...everyone! LMAO
I didn't expect anyone to want to hear about me thinking Light has OCD! but here we go! (this is with the help of my friend Rio)
This is not an insult to Light's parents because I like the headcanon of them being good parents more than terrible ones. But no parent is perfect and i feel as though they would not be used to mental illnesses/disorders and when you want to raise a perfect child, the child's actions caused by their disorders will make a parent think the child is just acting out and they'll want to punish it. Especially in the 90's (while Light was a child-teen) when OCD and other disorders were looked down upon and thought about incorrectly. They would see Light get overstimulated by things, and do what kids and mentally ill people do when they're overstimulated- he would cry, cover his ears, scream, hide, or lash out. To parents, they would see that as punishable behavior and try to correct it. Which in turn, would cause Light, not wanting to get punished, to suppress these completely normal and valid reactions to being overstimulated and having no support system and see it as a negative thing. Light was brought up to be a perfect child, and OCD helped with that in ways. Just like how Autism makes a lot of people who are autistic a "gifted kid" in school and well behaved for the most part. Being praised for some qualities of your disorder (which you dont know is a disorder, so you just think it's you) and punished for other qualities is really confusing for a child and even an adult.
So Light never learned that these urges and behaviors were okay. He was taught that flipping a switch 5 times, because his brain told him he had to, was annoying. Or turning his plate in circles until it felt right, was weird. Or turning a corner repeatedly until his brain signaled that it was okay, was distracting. He learned that the things his brain was telling him he needed to do were detrimental and harmful of the image his family was so proud of him for. He learned that it is not safe to do the things his brain is telling him to do. So he only flipped switches, turned his plate, rounded a corner once despite his brain signaling that something is going to go wrong and moved on even though his skin itched.
But that's just my headcanon, really. Since we dont know much about Light's childhood except for that he was always a smart kid. But there are a lot of symptoms of OCD that Light just has in canon. Intrusive thoughts, paranoid thinking, constantly checking his actions, having a routine/ritualistic behavior, hypervigilance, repetitive behavior, "hoarding", put togetherness, tidiness. (just a reminder: being neat and tidy =/= OCD) We get to see all of these. I'll give a few examples of the ones people might not be aware of because I don't want to make this too long because I also have another thing I want to talk about.
So like with hoarding, it's not always what you see on Hoarders (tm), it's not always messiness and dead animals hiding under mountains of just trash. I think I can see him as hoarding those books that are lining almost every wall in his bedroom. Books surrounding his bed, books above his desk, books on the wall behind him. Literally hundreds of books. Now, hoarding is not just collecting, but also difficulty getting rid of items, which causes extreme anxiety and stress. Which is more of a headcanon that the reason Light has so many books is because he cannot get rid of them. Anyway. Ritualistic behavior, we saw his routine in school, he seems very particular about it just from what the anime shows us. Also when he has the death note, he puts himself on a schedule, routinely writing names, which we see when L talks about the time the killings occur. When he went to kill raye penber he had every little thing planned out, an exact schedule. Hypervigilance, he's constantly checking over his shoulder, noticing every little detail about people around him. Their intentions, mood, he guesses what they're thinking. One of the scenes that comes to mind is when L shows him the second kira clip and he looks behind him as the officers and talks about how strange it is that nobody explained the video to him. And notices that it's a test when L looks at him.
oh boy! i sure talk a lot! the other thing I wanted to mention is that I think Light also has OCPD (different from OCD, this is a personality disorder) it's possible for someone to have both OCD and OCPD because they're different disorders but it is also extremely rare lol. I just think he has both because I knew a decent amount about OCD before and when I started reading up on OCPD I was noticing a lot of symptoms and traits that I saw in Light. Soooo if you want me to talk about why I think Light has OCPD then lmk again!
OH! Also if you want me to talk about Light and L and how they would co-exist with their own respective mental disorders then lmk because i looooove to think about lawlight and their disorder solidarity LMAO. I think L would teach Light that it's okay to flip switches, turn plates, and round corners as many times as he needs O.O Anyway feel free to ask questions or give me your own thoughts about Light having OCD!
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jimin-day · 4 years
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Stare at me
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Summary: You frequent a coffee shop only to be met with his dark eyes every time.
Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Genre/tags: Smut, fingering, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, if you squint daddy!Jungkook, shy!reader, dirty talk,
a/n: hello! This is my first time writing a fanfic so please be kind! This kind of just fell out of me and developed into something I couldn't control, so.. enjoy! :)
You leaned back with a sigh and threw your notebook on the coffee table. Knowing you needed a well deserved break from studying you decide to head down to the local coffee shop for a caffeine boost.
You emit a big loud yawn and walk to your room down the hall. You decide to exchange your sweatpants with some jeans and put on a bra for the first time that weekend. You give a small huff in the mirror noticing you still look a bit ragged, but who cares? Your not trying to impress anyone and your definitely not trying to turn any heads.
After breaking up with your long term, long distance boyfriend you felt like your life was on hold. You thought you were going to marry this man, have his children in fact. But the sad truth was he had cheated on you and you couldnt let that stand, so you left. Feeling emotionally bruised and sore you had holed up in your on-campus apartment and tried to forget by studying and binging on chinese food for the last few weeks.
The only thing that brought you any joy nowadays was getting some coffee a few blocks down from where you lived. It may have seemed like a small excursion but it got you out of the house and let you take in a fresh breath of air, somehow restoring your will to stand on this planet.
But you would be lying if that was the only reason you visited that coffee shop. Every so often a black haired man at a small table next to the window would be working on his laptop, to say he was handsome was an understatement.
He was jarringly handsome and if you were lucky you would catch eyes with him, only to be completely embarrassed when he caught you staring. But that didnt stop you from looking for him every time you went to the shop only to be met with those dark doe eyes.
You walked down the side walk, a cool breeze hitting your face, making you feel refreshed now that you were being met with crisp air. You took a deep breath and tried to ignore the fact that you were still deeply hurting from your breakup. You silently thought to yourself that maybe it was you. Were you not good enough? Not pretty enough? You guess you could stand to lose a bit of weight. Maybe not good enough in bed? No, do not let yourself go there this was his problem. You were more than an ideal girlfriend and you refuse to blame yourself for his actions.
Almost like he had heard you thinking about him, your phone rings a familiar chime and you lift your phone to take a look.
[DONT ANSWER] 11:46pm
Hey please message me back, i miss you.
Nope, not a chance. Since the break up your ex has been trying to contact you but you wouldnt give him the light of day. There is no way you were going to let him convince you back into his arms and you wouldnt even give him the chance.
You put your phone in your pocket and looked up at your destination. You pull the door open to be greeted with warm air defrosting your body. You take a step inside and almost involuntarily look to your right where that brown haired man normally sat. You were thrilled to see him sitting there studiously staring at his laptop with his eyebrows stitched together, probably figuring out a tough question you assume? Today he was wearing all black, not like he wore anything else, a black oversized tee shirt, a black face mask pulled down to his chin and ripped black jeans. A leather jacket hung from one of the chairs which he had thrown over previously before your arrival. He sighed and leaned back taking a sip of his coffee before looking up.
As if knowing you were going be there at this exact time he met your eyes immediately. You felt embarrassed, obviously for staring so long, but you were a bit bolder today meeting his gaze a little longer than normal. Maybe seeing that text earlier gave you a bit more confidence in knowing you would be fine without your ex, even though you were torn inside.
His eyes didnt back down and he one upped you by cupping his hand underneath his chin and giving you a sexy smirk while tilting his head. This was as much confidence as you were going to show today, as you quickly turned your head and got in queue. Your cheeks burned and admittedly your pussy clenched with desire. You put your face in your hands and shook your head trying to regain your composure. Feeling so hot and blushed.
You didnt notice but the man was quietly giggling and taking you in as much as you were oogling him. Of course he noticed you looking at him everytime you walked through those doors. In fact, he may have noticed you before you had noticed him. When he caught you the first time staring, he was elated. Knowing that you felt attracted to him made this even more fun, and what topped it off was you were so shy. Every time he looked at you, you couldnt help but be incredibly embarrassed and cave in on yourself. He loved that, Jungkook fed off it, each time you walked through the door he pictured more than one things to do to you.
Even catching you in sweatpants drove jungkook crazy. Seeing them hangoff your hips teasing him and wearing a tight camisole made him ache in pleasure. What was it about you that made him dizzy?
Jungkook was an average student but excelled in about everything else. At uni he was very often sought after by women but he had no motivation to chase after anyone. He would have flings here and there but they meant nothing to him. Not even knowing it, jungkook became the white whale around the university. Women would try to reel him in but to no avail, leaving them high and dry. Getting him in bed meant you were of the elite class, earning you a high spot in womens books, often jealousy.
But jungkook was oblivious to this, and if he was being honest nothing was special about those women. Just right place, right time.
But to Jungkook, you felt special.
Jungkook thought about his plan of action that he had rehearsed in his head a few times. He always wanted to confront you but never felt confident enough. But today was the day. He woke up with a surge of motivation and admittedly went to the coffee shop early to make sure he didn't miss you, praying you would show up.
You were the next person to place your order when you feel a presence behind you. You paid it no mind and kept looking forward deciding if you should get a small breakfast sandwich to go with your coffee. As you tell the clerk that you'd like a hot coffee a voice speaks up behind you, "and I'll be paying for that"
You turn around as if your head was on a swivel and notice the beautiful man coming up around you and handing his card to the employee. "Oh and I'll have a breakfast sandwich too" you say while giving a meek smile to the man who was paying for you.
He gives a mischievous grin and you turn to face the clerk, blushing. Once he receives his receipt and is handed his card back, you step to the side and wait for your order to be finished. Not far behind, jungkook follows and stands beside you. "You know, I would've paid for you even if you ordered the whole menu" jungkook looks at you with kind eyes and a little grin.
You cant help but blush and stare at your feet. You quickly try and sike yourself up and finally look up at him "Well maybe next time I'll try and buy the whole store" Jungkook laughed brightly with a bunny smile while his dark hair falls into his eyes, you can't help but think how adorably handsome he was in that moment.
He looks at you a bit more seriously making your face burn in anticipation. "You think I haven't noticed you staring?" At that you turned red. You knew he saw you, most days you would catch his eyes but being so upfront about it had you in a tizzy. Jungkook takes the small slip of paper he just received and starts scribbling on it and places it into your hand.
You glance down at the paper and it's his name and phone number, you look up and blush at him. Jungkook leans closer to you almost brushing your ear. "If you would like you can stare at me outside of this shop, preferably in my room princess."
Jungkook gives a sly smirk, turns and walks away to sit back down at his table and you are drenched to say the least. 'Holy shit, what did he just call me?'
You hear the barista call your name and you were so startled by it you jump pulling you out of the trance you were in. You safely put the receipt in your pocket grab your order and before pushing the doors open you take one last glance.
As if making it known to the whole world jungkook was unabashedly smiling at you. Your cheeks turn hot pink and you rush out the door, trying to get yourself together.
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You sit at home, lifting the small piece of paper up and staring at it. 'Jungkook', now that you think about it you feel like you have heard this name in small circles around campus but never had the face to put to the devil. This makes you outwardly cringe, scrunching up into a little ball and give a silent scream. From your recollection this man is a catch, THE catch and if you were not mistaken very good in bed.
At that thought you said fuck it, since your ex you haven't even thought of sex or pursued anyone and decided enough was enough. You were getting dick.
[Y/N] 7:56pm
Hey.. it's coffee shop girl
[Jungkook] 8:01pm
Hi baby, did you get curious?
Your heart stops at the nickname, oh fuck he's reducing you to a puddle. You can feel your panties getting uncomfortable and you try and shift to relieve some much needed tension. You take a deep breath and decide to just go for it.
[Y/N] 8:03pm
So what does staring at you in your bedroom entail?
[Jungkook] 8:04pm
Hmm.. well Y/N i could tell you or I could show you?
You were reeling, not even believing it yourself you take a second to calm your nerves. But honestly you couldnt, too high on whatever cloud your are on to still your beating heart. Your pussy clenches around nothing, and you are beginning to pool in your panties, thinking of all the things Jungkook would do to you.. will do to you.
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Next thing you know your knocking on his door, in the cold.
Before you left you told your friend where you were going just in case this man was a serial killer. You could never be to careful. Your friend wanted to hear all about it but you have no time for that yet, but definitely over brunch tomorrow.
You hear a click and the door swings open, there stands a man with honey skin and beautiful dark locks, he gives you a bright boxy smile "Hi, can I help you?" You almost trip over yourself when you are greeted by him, too focused on just how handsome he was.
"Um, ya I'm here for Jungkook?"
Just as you asked Jungkook is strolling up to the door and telling his roommate that he's "got it from here". That made you freeze, what have you gotten yourself into? This man was practically a stranger, a stunning one, but a stranger none the less and now your going to let him "take it from here" almost as if you were a plaything.
Jungkook gestures you in and you wave to who you later learned was Taehyung, thanking him for opening the door for you. As you turn to follow jungkook down the hall, your cheeks feel hot, not only about what is going to happen in Jungkooks room but how Taehyung knows exactly why you are here, and you just looked him in the eyes and thanked him.
Jungkook let's you into his room and as you walk in you take a look, it's tidier than you would have thought, there is a light up keyboard and computer in the corner, on top of his desk sits a very expensive DSLR camera, a mic stand just beside the desk and he has purple lights strung up around the walls. Nice touch.
Jungkook closes the door behind you, no turning back now. He looks at you almost as if he were to tear you to shreds. His eyes transition to blown out black as he rakes over your body and you can almost hear your heart thrumming in your ears. He moves closer putting his left hand on the wall, at his bold gesture, you begin to feel overwhelmingly shy.
Coming to a strangers house to fuck? This was not you, you liked to take your time and get to know the person. Maybe a date or two to see what your getting into. Right now you were way out of your comfort zone.
Jungkook pinning you to the door has your eyes looking at your feet, feeling quite nervous, and possibly wanting to flee. Jungkook gently takes his finger and lifts up your chin to meet his eyes. His eyes still blown out with lust but showing a bit more restraint making your heart feel less tight. "Hey baby, it's okay. I've got you, you tell me if this isn't something you want and I'll stop right now."
Your heart sank you didn't want him to feel like he was pressuring you, you wanted this. So bad your pussy is aching for some sort of release. It was all just so new to you, the situation, the man, the way he looked at you like an animal. You shook your head and told him you were okay, not wanting him to stop.
He starts slowly with a quick kiss to the lips, then soon after turning sloppy tasting them and molding to them. He licks your lips so he can explore your mouth. Giving you sloppy wet strokes of his tongue making you weak in the knees.
His hand comes to your hip squeezing and rubbing soft circles, slowly moving higher underneath your shirt. Your lips detach and he licks up your neck, sucking on the flesh that is right underneath your ear. "Fuck baby you have no idea how long I wanted this." He sucks harshly leaving a purple mark with his plush lips, grinding his hips into your core for some sort of friction.
You don't pay his comment much mind as you are way to distracted by his hand cupping your breast and his cock rubbing your clit deliciously. Jungkook gently pinches your nipple and starts playing with your nub expertly twisting and massaging. You let out a soft moan, and jungkook is floored. His erection so hard and uncomfortable in his pants, but he can wait.
Jungkook takes his hand and starts stroking your clothed core with his long fingers, feeling how much you have soaked through your clothes. Feeling how wet you are for him he groans "Does this feel good princess? Do you like when a stranger plays with your pussy?" You moan even louder, no one has talked to you this way and you can't help but feel a new gush of arousal take over.
He quickly picks you up by your bottom and throws you on the bed, "Strip, everything but your panties" there is no hesitation, you fling your shirt off your body undo your bra and shuffle your pants down to the floor leaving only your underwear on.
As you sat there you began to cross your arms over your chest, somewhat embarrassed being mostly naked in front of this man. Jungkook tutted, "Don't be shy princess" jungkook reaches for your wrists and pulls them up over you head pinning them to the headboard while giving you quick kisses to your forehead and jaw. "Don't hide from me, let me see you."
His sweet coos and kisses soothe your heart and you relax more into the position your are in. Jungkook begins to move down your neck with kisses, licks and some biting to stave off his hunger. Seeing you in this position is driving him crazy. You are so cute and shy your soaked pussy waiting for him. From this angle he can see you all hot and flustered trying to hide your face. Jungkook gives a quick smile that you don't see because you are too busy trying to hide from your embarrassment.
Jungkook moves down next to your core playing with the elastic of your panties, taunting you. "Will you be a good girl for me?" His question barely registers in your blown out state but you quietly nod your head. Not being a good enough answer for jungkook he slaps your pussy right on your bundle of nerves. "Use your words, Y/N." The spank sends shock waves throughout your body and has you on high alert. Your walls clenching hard, aching for any type of touch.
"YES, yes, please Jungkook I'll be a good girl" You look him in the eyes and don't want to stop staring at how gorgeous he looks. Sweaty glistening skin, dark hair in his eyes, looking like he could eat you alive.
Never breaking eye contact Jungkook removes his shirt and pants along with his boxers. His cock hitting his stomach with force, hard and angry red. He was so thick and long, you wanted to taste him so bad, swallow his cock full.
Jungkook starts to pump his dick up and down, using his thumb he wipes his slit to cover his length in cum. He leans back down to your soaking core. "Now princess I want you to watch me while I play with your pretty pussy, can you do that for me?"
You look at him with half lidded eyes, feeling like your in a strange head space that you can't describe. But you would do or say anything for him at this moment almost subdued by that fact you know he will take care of you. "yes daddy." Jungkook is surprised to hear that come off your lips but it makes him want to fill you up with cum, make you his.
He notices your shift in expression and realizes you've slipped somewhere, but he decides to save that in the back of his mind, he'll play with that Y/N another day. Right now he just needs to be inside of you.
Jungkook bunches the material of your panties and pulls upward rubbing your aching clit. The friction feels so good and you want to throw your head back and moan but remembering the rules you fix your eyes on jungkook looking pleased at what little he has to do for you to go crazy.
Seeing your perfect clit bulge from your panties being pulled up, jungkook wraps his soft lips around your clothed bundle and starts sucking you, along with long slow languid licks.
You couldn't take it any more, Jungkooks mouth sucking on your clothed clit is visual overboard, you throw your head back and give a loud moan, your clit throbbing feeling so close to cumming.
"Please, kook!"
Jungkook let's go of your panties and pulls them down your legs. He starts rubbing your bundle of nerves in circles and figure eights, earning loud moans from your lips from the new bare sensation. "Please what, princess?"
"I wanna come, please let me cum, jungkook!"
He quickly leans down and strokes his tongue up your slit gathering your juice on his tongue "fuck baby you taste so good", jungkook moves up to your clit, his hot breath ghosting over you making you whine. With a wet and flat tongue jungkook eats you almost like he is a starved puppy, his strong muscle giving you some well deserved attention.
Feeling your stomach coiling you know you are so close, your legs start shaking and your breathing starts to speed up. Your eyes tight ready for what comes next.
Jungkook slips two fingers into your pussy curving them so he hits your spongy g-spot, never stopping his tongue on your clit while he fucks you with his fingers. Suddenly the coil snaps within you and you are seeing stars. Your orgasm has your thighs shaking around jungkooks head and tears begin to slip from your eyes. You throw your head back and let out a deep and long moan. "My princess looks so pretty cumming." You gush all over jungkook tongue and he is happy to lick all of your essence up all up not letting any go to waste.
Jungkook slows his tongue and fingers to help coax you through your orgasm, he gives you a quick kiss to your sensitive clit and gets up to hover over top of you. " You did so well princess, you ready for my cock?"
You give a very enthusiastic nod, tears still streaking down your face from the force of your orgasm. "Yes please, I want your cock daddy."
He strokes his member a few times and starts to press the head of his member in your wet folds moving it up and down your slit soaking his cock. He starts to push in your velvet entrance and you can feel the delicious sting and stretch of him. Half way in jungkook stops to let you get used to his size. Looking at you with your tear stained cheeks his cock twitches and he can hardly control his hips from pounding into your messy cunt.
"Your pussy is so tight princess, were you waiting for my cock?" Jungkook pushes his thick member all the way in your pussy and he let's out a guttural moan. "Fuck baby you feel so good".
You reach out and grab jungkooks shoulders pulling him closer, your face is buried in the crook of his neck both of you hot and sweaty. Jungkook takes advantage of this position and hooks his arms underneath your shoulder blades and grabbing your shoulder from the back giving him excellent grip to thrust deep and hard inside you.
He starts moving slowly but quickly picks up the pace at a bruising speed. Using his arms as leverage to slam into your pussy as he whispers in your ear, "I've been eye fucking you for days princess, did you know that? I've been wanting to fill this pussy up since I saw you and now I have you crying beneath me. Do you like a perfect stranger filling this tight cunt?"
You shiver at his words and feel yourself clenching around him your pussy desperately trying to hold on to his thick cock. You moan loudly and start to produce fat tears rolling down your cheeks.
"Your words, princess."
Jungkook did not say that lightly and you did not want to test his patience in this moment, while you were already in a vulnerable position. "Yes I love a strangers cock in my pussy!"
Jungkook swallows hard at your words and can't believe how well you are doing for him. The shy girl he saw in the coffee shop is saying such dirty things, just for him.
You try and match his speed with your hips but to no avail, your breath hitches every time he thrusts into you leaving you almost breathless. Your orgasm is rising and its almost painful to follow, he hits your g-spot so nicely and he has you crying, tears continue to fall from your eyes and onto the bedsheets. Trying to hold on you reach for his back and start clawing at it. The pain of your nails digging into him. Jungkook let's go of your shoulders and sits up while fucking you, getting a whole new and beautiful view of you crying, and writhing on his cock while he thrusts in your sweet pussy.
Jungkook reaches down to your folds and drags his finger around your arousal and brings it up to your clit. Rubbing harsh circles on your very sensitive bundle. You start to feel the familiar twist in your stomach rise and it has your legs start shaking and your breath becomes shallow. "Come on princess cum all over your daddys cock".
With another thrust of his hips he sends you into your second, back breaking orgasm. In jungkooks eyes you look like art, hair splayed out around you wet from all the tears you were producing, thighs shaking uncontrollably with intense pleasure, and your mind so fucked out and begging to be praised by your daddy after cumming on his cock so well.
You look up at jungkook and his eyes are all over you, watching you become a mess underneath him.
Jungkook not being able to last much longer looks you right in the eyes and grabs your chin. "Look at me in the eyes princess while I fill up your slutty cunt with my cum. Don't you look away, I want you to see how much of a slut your are for me."
Your pussy clenched at his vulgar words and you nod in his hands. You have no choice but to look into his intense dark chocolate eyes. His hips become sloppy and he can feel your pussy throbbing and milking his cock, with a couple more sloppy thrusts he spills into your cunt filling you with warmth, making you feel so full. Jungkook let's out a guttural groan, while looking into you as he claims you as his.
You found your eyes were glued to Jungkook as he came, not being able to look away, seeing his dark eyes swirl with relief and lust, licking his lips and hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. You were completely in awe of him.
Jungkook rests his forehead on yours taking deep breaths until he removes himself from you and gets up to walk away. He comes back with a wet cloth in hand and gently cleans you up. He throws the towel to the side and lays down beside you. You both take a deep breath and look at each other.
"Uhmm, I think I should go." You start to get out of his bed when you feel his hand grab your wrist.
"Stay with me, you don't have to go." Jungkooks words have your heart lump in your throat. You felt embarrassed walking in here for a quickie and afterwards when reality hit you, you felt mortified. But looking into his eyes he was gentle, finding some truth in his words you let him pull you on his his chest to cuddle. Your cheeks burning red at the action but your were admittedly enjoying the feeling of his warmth.
Without realizing how exhausted you had become, your eyes begin to feel heavy. You fall asleep while he strokes your hair, jungkook being left with his thoughts.
'Fuck'
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a/n: Ahh! thank you for making it this far! I had a lot of fun (and difficulty) writing this! It's my first time ever writing a fanfiction so please be kind! Let me know what you think :3
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honesthammie · 3 years
Text
Te amo
I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.
13th doctor x female reader
Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.
Probably terrible as its my first songfic
I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations
This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.
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I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.
Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.
It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.
I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!
I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.
I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.
I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!
I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.
As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?
Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:
Spanish basics and need to knows.
I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.
I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.
A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.
Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.
I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.
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I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!
I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!
"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.
The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.
The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."
My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"
"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"
What. The. Fuck.
Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.
"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.
We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.
First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .
As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.
"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."
"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."
Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?
"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?
A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.
Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.
"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."
"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.
She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.
We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.
"So did you tell her?"
"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"
Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.
"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.
"Those are just friendly affec-"
"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"
Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.
Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.
I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.
"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.
"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.
"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"
"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.
Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.
Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.
The TARDIS
I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.
I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.
Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.
I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.
"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.
As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.
"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."
The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."
"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.
"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.
"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.
"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.
She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:
"Te Amo"
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saintqueer · 3 years
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always ready to clown w/ u 💖 (fr tho i was thinking along the same lines as u on the yt vid being released but i also dont wanna hope so imma remain skeptical as hell
but i hope its true it would be so nice if the music industry got its own lil upheaval but i feel like w/ just rebecca it doesnt seem too likely to happen yk? like she needs more ppl to start speaking out not only that but she needs someone who's internationally known so that it can be the whole music industry nd so that more artists start feeling safer to speak out, safer as in they won't lose their careers their labels won't drop them etc.
if one of the 1d boys did i feel like that would hv a huge impact but the likeliness of that happening are slim to none so its interesting to think abt what the video actually means in terms of if they are in contact w/ her does that mean one of them is gonna speak out? already we know theres an insanely low chance of that for multiple different reasons (likely including but not limited to their contracts)
so does that mean that they are in contact with her in the way that they are helping her w/ this? as in they're convincing more artists to come forward? but i feel like thats risky as hell especially if they're not saying anything themselves bc they could be sending these artists to their doom if not enough ppl come thru or smth yk? so that might as well be ruled out too
or maybe they're in contact w/ her in the way that like they're helping her and other artists that wanna speak out? maybe helping them to figure out how to give them a larger/better voice? but i feel like that would likely fall on PR ppl that they hire
but if one of the 1d boys is in fact in contact w/ her dont u think there could've been a subtler way to tell us? I mean the tweets are already not subtle (the ones by rebecca) but i also understand why that is but its im sorry this is so frustrating and my mind is going a thousand miles an hr and im just so frustrated w/ all this bc none of it makes sense and i feel like there smth happening we dont know abt and i just wanna know and i wanna know if we can do anything to help and i just want them all happy and to be ok and i'll stop talking now
anyway sorry for bothering u - defintly not expecting a reply lol ik u said u didnt wanna talk abt it so i hope its ok i sent this in)
have a good night/day lots of love 💖
helloooo bb!
its totally fine for you come into my inbox and vent/speculate anytime you need. i dont mind at all! i only feel bad when i can't get to everyone (i see you and im sorry!) but always feel free to word vomit, lol
i don't blame you for going back and forth a lot. especially with the idea of the boys speaking out about the mistreatment as it's been very hush hush on their end for many years! however, i dont think its quite as unlikely as many make it seem.
just look at the last year and how much liam has spoken very plainly about the abuse and mistreatment the boys suffered. he has been very candid and it's only been increasing over the last year. we've also seen several other people connected to x factor and syco speak up for the first time over the last 7 months.
a lot of the things cumulatively that have happened over the last year make me think that perhaps several of the boys will speak up, will make a fuss, and do so at the exact right time. i think whatever is going on right now is very strictly planned and has a very particular timeline. and a lot of it might be happening behind the scenes (especially if they are attempting legal action) so we wouldn't know until it all came out (in the wash).
we won't know until we watch it all unfold, hindsight is 20/20. this will all make sense one day when we look back. but i'm gonna try to put some pieces together in the meantime because that's what this fandom is built on: noticing patterns and calling them out even when others say it's a reach or a coincidence. we didn't recognize rbb & sbb for what they were by going on about how "it's probably the sound guy" and "it's just a coincidence they are reading those books"! we got here by calling out weird shit even when we end up wrong.
and, as for me, i choose to believe that louis wouldn't purposefully mislead us with his overwhelming positivity over the last six months.
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thegayraven · 3 years
Text
ok so final thoughts on shadow and bone, in no particular order:
im glad they put a lot of work into mal and alina's relationship because i dont mind being more invested in them. and i really liked jessie and archie in the roles and they did a great job
i think its pretty funny that archie renaux and ben barnes are jokingly playing up the rivalry irl and as a nikolai girl im excited for him to get in the mix and offer up his hand in marriage
zoya could have been meaner. she just could have been meaner! i would have supported her being meaner. i appreciate her turning on the darkling sooner because i like zoya but i also want her to be a little meaner. she deserves it!
oh speaking of zoya the fact that they made it canon that she and the darkling have had a thing...? big skeevy vibes for me personally considering he has known her since she was like 9. just saying
did zoya and mal actually bang in this version? i feel like they didnt. also i think its lowkey really funny that zoya and alina have the exact same taste in men apparently. also i kinda hope zoya loses the bangs next season...they were ok but not my fave.
it took me a while to warm up to danielle as nina but ultimately i did like her and i think i will like her even more in season 2. same goes for whoever's playing matthias he was p cute and he did a good job. no idea what his accent was supposed to be (it was fine tho i liked it) and i wish they spoke more fjerdan between the two of them but thats fine
oh speaking of languages are we just pretending kerch and ravkan are the same language? because realistically only inej speaks ravkan between her, jesper and kaz right? lmao.
at the halfway point i felt the crows' plot was quite stupid but episode 5 improved things significantly and i am not immune to wanting to see characters i like team up. i will say that alina literally giving inej the sankta alina knife was kinda cheesy but its fine. super funny how mal and alina are literally on the same ship as the crows in the end but theyre like "nah nah its cool we travel separately from now on"
omg speaking of alina when i heard they were going to cast an asian actress and make alina part shu i did not think she was going to experience 60 microaggressions per minute...like ok i guess it makes sense for ravkans to be xenophobic considering like the country's hardships and the wars and the ensuing nationalism but oh my god.
also also, alina being shu is kinda cool because that gives her another thing to connect with tolya and tamar about, yes? i know shadow and bone is less popular than six of crows but tolya and tamar deserve SOME of the hype being afforded to nikolai and wylan
daisy head was soooooo good as genya and its so fucked up that they pronounce her name "jenya" in my heart it will ALWAYS be a hard G. i got kinda mad on her behalf when alina was chewing her out tho...like alina i totally get that ur mad. but you literally do not know what she has been through 🥲
i honestly think the guy playing david is a little too hot to be david i always imagined him dweebier but its what genya deserves and he was excellent in the role so im fine with it.
ben barnes was an excellent casting choice for the darkling. theres gonna be exponentially more darkling fuckers now but thats the price you pay for good casting i guess. i'll be honest he and jessie mei li have good chemistry and all but the makeout scene still weirded me out because he is 39 and shes around my age.
omg SPEAKING of the makeout scene it was extremely funny to me that he's all like "are you sure? [about having s*x presumably]" when theyve been making out for literally FIFTEEN SECONDS and have taken NO clothes off. like what is she supposed to be sure about? you have put the cart SOOOOOO far ahead of the horse my dude! but i guess in tv kiss + "are you sure" is just meant to tell the audience "these two plan on banging" so whatever.
the antler collar was much creepier than in the book but that is fine. i was expecting mal to be the one to be like "alina you spared the stag's life so actually you still own your own power" but shrug. oh and we have very little foreshadowing of mal being an amplifier so far...and there was NO mention of the sea serpent or the other amplifiers which disappointed me a little but only because sea serpent foreshadowing counts as nikolai foreshadowing.
oh im very neutral on the effects for alina's powers...at points i thought they looked kinda lame but in the fold they looked cool
kaz and inej kept having these (for them) very sweet heartfelt conversations and every single time i turned to my sister and was like "this is soooo sweet...but in the book they would NEVER say this." however i understand that tv is a different medium than books and freddy carter did well with what he was given. jesper and inej were PHENOMENAL though and im excited to see all the crows together.
i still have no idea if this show is coherent to those with no prior knowledge but i'd love to know what its like to watch with no prior knowledge. like my sister said she wouldnt have picked up on alina being "sickly" prior to using her powers if i hadnt told her thats a thing in the book. or like genya having purple embroidery on a red kefta to show shes sort of between corporalki and materialki. also if youre watching without having read the books is it obvious that the darkling is evil or?
speaking of keftas, based on the teaser trailer i was worried they would look bad. but they looked very good! mostly the costuming was excellent. nina was the only character whose costumes i didnt like as much and to be fair shes stuck in one outfit until the end of the show so im sure she'll look better next season. oh and jesper could have been in brighter colors imo.
i was a little upset that they didnt call the merchants merchers...and also that theres no mention of the dregs? is kaz just the leader of his own gang in this world?? to be fair establishing the dregs might have taken up too much time but i want answers next season. also it was kind of wild to me that kaz uses the crow club as collateral when like the audience barely knows whats up with the crow club.
here and there they had very fun scene transitions or good soundtrack moments and that was fun. only moment that u can think of that seemed poorly edited was the fight scene with mal in episode 1, which just felt weirdly choppy. i am not a cinnamon topography expert tho.
overall i am happy because the show was very entertaining (all i can ask for) and i think it was maybe even kinda good!
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