#i dont think ive evr been this alone

[lemongogo]

have u evr thoight abt livio and vash together (not romantically like in a found family way) post trimax bc i think about it a Lot

evvery day of my goddamn life . i think about them.every second of eveyr minute. LIKE ALL THE TIMEEE !! THEY ARE SOOO SPECIAL TO MEE

anyone whos been following me for a while knows i LOVEEEE imperfect , tense relationships . be them familial, romantic , platonic , etc . i love when two people have to work around each other and come to a common understanding . i like when their experiences are so wholly different that it bleeds into who they are and how they navigate the world . i like when the communication is faulty at best , messy . unpracticed . post-trimax and even post wolfwood death livio + vash consumes me @ my core . its been a while since ive read the manga so im probably very incorrect at reading their dynamics and have instead substituted it for my own fanon, but i like viewing their relationship to one another as something (initially) strained and (initially) distanced. you have these two people , effectively strangers to one another, bound by a common person who is no longer there. who ultimately understand the direction theyre headed in and whats required of them, but feeling so out of place by either their own internal struggles or by the pressure of the world around them . livio deals with the turmoil of what his and razlo’s involvement in nicholas’ death means . vash is left to bury his friend alone and spend the coming days alongside the man who’d killed him. and yet, vash, due to the nature of his cause and love for humanity, forgives him. cooks for him. and livio and razlo learn to let themselves be forgiven. to grow from past traumas and feel deserving of good things. its not an easy path for either of them, but they do it. for themselves, for each other, for meryl, millie, for chronica and her sisters, for humans ^__^! for nicholas!!! and its soo .. GOOD.. ITS SOO HEARTY TO MEE .. the way that vash and livio so openly struggle in the chapters following ch.65, but ultimately learn to come to terms with the idea of loss, of responsibility, love, community, etc. I KNOW U R TALKING ABT POST TRIMAX HELP MEE but i like how trigun so succinctly sets up this foundation for them to beee .. close in the way i’d like to imagine. i just lovee .. the bond they wld share in having both loved / cared for nicholas . and how that gave them resolvee !! how that gave them cause for action . motivation or determination if u will. they r so bound by loss and so inextricably changed by it that when i think of them post-trimax, i think of them like two wilted weeds that have grown thru the sidewalk crack , together . they are damaged , incomplete . unsure of so many tjings , but they r ……. MY GODDDDDDD !!!sry its like . man . MANN… kiryu gif of him punching the table . MAKE ME CRAZYYYYY . in a post trimax world , they are so emotionally linked . TO MEE .. IN MY LITTLE WORLD .. they mean more to each other than words can describe . and pains me in a sense to know that .. there will be a time where livio, razlo, and vash know each other more than they ever had the chance of knowing nicholas. and i think that so bittersweet . and special. I LOVEE IT . they give me very like .. silent affirmation , comfort through physical presence kind of warmth . like they dont have to say anything to know what they mean to each other and thats ok ^__^!

my favorite & i mean FAVORITEEEE PAGE!!! is the one in which they talk atop the building before their final battle and share their sorrows indirectly. LIKE THTS SOMETHIG AB THEM THAT DRIVES ME CRAZYYY!! the fact that both of them cannot refer to nicholas by name . its He. Him. That event , you know the One . they recognize parts of themselves in each other

LIKE I KEEP THIS SC ON MEEE . ALL THE TJME BC I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IVE PROBABLY POSTED IT A MILLION TIMES BY NOWW

“when you are linked by something so strong in your hearts, it doesnt need to be said anymore” U R FUCKIG KIDDDING MEEEEEEEE . i lvoe thm godd . T___T

#vash #livio #trigun #trigun maximum #asktag #anonymous #trigun spoilers

[bukowskisgrowingold]

.

#i dont think ive evr been this alone #like truly alone #the positive is no one is relying on me to be here #but just #everything hurts #n im the problem i cant fix that #its ok tho #doesnt matter #i just want to sleep now n not get up #im tired

[gumdecay]

.

#ntway being drunk is enuf of n excuse 2 b pathetic on mai iright? (this isntn my main but i treat it ike it is so) #i was gnna post this one in body of tst 2 but tis. bad. its BAD! so into the tags it goes :') but im like.. 90% sure 3/ of my 6 friends hate #me n ike. 2 of them (1 who hates me 1 who Toerates me) r only friends w me bc they have no tothr friends n like. idk! its disheartening #of the 3 one ive been friends w since middle school so im p sure the only resn they havent ditched me competely is bc of how long weve known #each othr n they Pity me 4 not havin ny othr friends/ a life/ etc :') 1 we just nvr talk nymore idk y.. n 1 weve nvr been close but uhh im p #sure they only like me bc i give her postive attention so. uk. uk.. the othr 3 i think just.. tolerate me.. feel 2 bad 4 me 2 like ditch me #competey :')p sure the main factor in icherally all my friendships is pity which. makes sense since im pathetic! lol! :') #truly truly wish ny one of my attempts had killed me ny one of my od's had kiled me licherally NYTHING wd kill me :') tired of bein here #tired of evrything evrything evrything tired of nthing evr getting bttr tired of being so completely fuckin alone :') tired of trying consta #ntly n having NOTHING 2 show 4 it :') idk. i was so excited 4 2018 n for a Minute i was excited 4 2019 but like........ the only reason i ha #vent tried killing ymself recently is bc 1 im saving up 2 move n having money n dying w/o spending it seems. wasteful. (biggest reason) 2 my #dog wld not kno where i went or what happened or y i dont see him nymore n wld probably feel bad n get sad n hes already not so healthy #3 my friends wld feel bad #thats it! none of those reasons r evn abt me! theres no reason i Want 2 stay here stay lviing except i have money rn at this moment n ppl wl #d feel bad if i died.. but genuinely i get very little joy out of living the only time im happy is when im high n when im getting positive a #ttention n those rnt reasons 2 keep living.. i wanna get published but only bc i kno my writing is good n iw ant attention so again not a go #od reason 2 keep living.. genuinely cant imagine myself living evn anothr decade cantimagine myself EVR bein happy cant imagine nything exce #pt what im livin rn at this mometn w tiny minor improvements :') #im sick of it lol!! #imready 2 b done im ready 4 anothr do ovr im ready 4 the next incarnation 2 not b so fucking terrible from the start :') #i genuinely hate this life the only good things dont come from me they come from othr ppl n othr things i cant find happiness or love in mys #elf n im tired of trying :') #idk ig :')

[scourge-sympathiser]

what's the jaystrike and long distance au?? im familiar with beetlebite, covenant, and firelight, but wadda bout thos 2? i think i recall jaystrike faintly but it dont come 2 mind, and the long distance 1 im completely unaware of [[u can only share 1 if u want becuz if it's a lot then i get it if u dont wanna cram it all into 1 post]

>:3€

ill start with jaystrike! ive also called it the mentor tiny AU n probly some othr stuff, i can nevr pick a single name, fun fact before i get into it is tht ive had this AU in some form or another since i waz like. 13? so thtz fun

aftr his death scourge findz himself in a strange place, a concrete expanse drenched in a thick smog that makez it near impossible to see anything just a few pawstepz ahead... Alone... the neck wound tht killed him still dripping with thick dark blood

it doesnt take long for him to start wandering, just for somthing to do.... as he walkz he startz to think, about many thingz, for the first time maybe evr he recallz the blue furred cat who stopped tigerpaw from killing him.. from there the elderly cat who shared food with & the thingz he ended up doing with the life thy had saved..... slowly he thawz, leaving not a warm heart but a void.. he comez to regret.. A Lot... he continuez walking

back in the clanz firestar is visted by bluestar in a dream- she stright up tellz him tht itz jaykitz destiny to be a medicine cat... firestar putz a lot of stock into prophecy, so. he decidez to just Make jay be the medicine cat apprentice bcuz! prophecy! & also a bit of misguided worry for his grandkit

jay is, obviously, fuckin pissed, but doesnt rly kno wht to do... hez visted in his dreamz by feathertail, who tryz to explain the importance of destiny.. but jay just cussez her out and runz away

he eventually findz himself somewhere tht is... clearly not starclan... the ground hard beneath his pawz & a thick stinking mist surroundz him until he stumblez apon a small, heavily scarred black cat, who seemz exceptionally shocked to see him, a brief extange haz the very frustrated jay full on ranting to the strange stranger

the thing about scourgez own personal hell is tht othr catz shouldnt be able to reach it- but death is a kind of sleep and afterlife a kind of dream, so jay is able to get in

scourge listenz to this young cat & realizez tht he can help him- he decidez tht he Will help him.... and so scourge introducez himself as tiny and offerz his training... jay is just kinda shocked anyone is evn giving him the chance to prove he can be a warrior! so thy begin training

as this goez on, tiny findz the haze lifting & grass finding itz way thru the concrete.. eventually hez able to find his way to the living world thru jaypaw & hang around as a ghost, using this opportunity to watch catz hunt- hez been able to teach jaypaw many [underhhanded] fighting movez, but he doesnt kno much about more practical skillz for a forest, such as hunting

also happening at this time is an increasingly exasperated feathertail frequently visting jaypaw to try and get him to accept destiny.... feathertail in this AU is jaypawz main starclan messenger bcuz she knoz firstpaw wht itz like to hav 2 giv up yr life [literally in her case] for the whimz of fate..... well, tht & she cant help but see the 3 as the kitz she nevr had in a way

part of this Waz bcuz leafpool is dating mothwing who waz feathertailz ex in this and im still super attached to tht ship but idk if ill have to change tht bcuz of her manga.....i rly rly dont wanna tbh but aaaugh off topic

eventually, jaypaw haz unintentionally earned his medicine cat name...fearful tht becoming a full med cat will ruin any chance hez got at becoming a warrior, jaypaw Panicz && runz away before leafpool can name him & goez stright to firestar and Demandz tht he hav a trial to become a warrior

it probably takez more thn just doing good at one trial but he doez become a warrior eventually! named jaystrike [an intentional refrence 2 my windclan AU scourge finchstrike lmao]

... i waz gonna also talk about the long distance AU but this got... Long..... so ill save tht until som1 else askz about it skfhskdh

#askz #just slept thru my alarm & had 2 skip my last day of work n waz feeling wildly shit about it so this helped as a distraction thnk u kshfskfh

[tystrack]

happy birthday jen !! 💕💓✨💗💞💫🌸

i will literally nvr lov a single person more so this is gna be a sappy mess . 

i knOw it isn’t officially your birthday in ur timezone yet but it’s past 12 for me and im heading off to bed soon nd i literally could not resist doing this kjkfjhfkfjh i lit dont even kno what to say im crY but i rly cannot not say anything bc u are literally one of the most important people in my life nd i kno i haven’t been the most attentive person lately or the most present friend but pls never ever forget how mcuh i love you bc u rly are one of the best people ive met on this website nd in general as well tbh ,, i wish i hadn’t deleted my aim acc bc i cannot for the life of me find the first mssg we evr sent each other .. but i remember being there for your birthday last yr so ukno ,, happy belated one yr anniversary of being my person !! we used 2 be so awkward nd uncomf nd look at us now ,, we r happy in luv gfs with matching biases nd matching haircuts nd im j so soft im crying. i rmr the summer last yr nd how u would hav to go babysitting all day nd how tired u would be when u got home nd i would just stay up all night just so i could talk with u for an hour or so nd jsut that hour alone would literally make my entire day nd i think that p much sums up how much u mean to me nd always have.

nd now we r a yr further nd its ur bday again nd u still mean !! the absolute world to me , we hav come such a long way since . u are still my Ultimate fav person nd i cant even rmr how much drama u hav Helped me thru , u are always there for me being the insanely beautiful person inside and out guiding me thru everything . literally everything abt u is so amazing nd i cannot believ u hav been putting up w me for over a yr ,, but it’s all gna b worth it !!! bc ur gna go on ur london internship soon nd i will fly over 2 every mf weekend bc i literallay lov u more than life !!!! enuff of me being sappy , i hope u will have the most lovely nd amazing birthday bc i cant think f anyONE who deserves it more than u !!! i lov u sososososso muchc i cnat even think of words to describe it , my fav Person out there , happy birthday angel !! @cittaphons

#jen #fav angel #djfkjhfjfhfkjhfkfhfkjhfkjfhkfhfkjfhkfh this is so extra but i lov u

[jaastice]

Revenge: all the texts

HOTLINE BLING? ☆

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> man> a kid came into today and thanked us for what we did> while you were out> but it was really ... it was really something

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> a weekend off!!!> FINALLY> i know you’re at your retreat or whatever but we have time to ourselves for once> i hope you’re doing okay, remember to stay bundled up so you don’t get a cold, o great and mighty regent of khura’in

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> its quiet ...> it’s kind of unsettling without you and datz here to bother me and the office closed> really weird

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> i don’t know what’s up with me tonight, haha. i’m fine, truce. get some sleep, i’ll talk to you in the morning.

Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> hmmm> there’s a cellar in the house, did you know that?> there’s lots of alcoholic stuff here... it’s kind of surreal. i feel like i’m in some sort of ancient wine cellar hahaha > ive never had properly aged wine? maybe i’ll treat myself and act like a refined adult. pinkies out and everything

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> do you think that> ugh hang on haha this is a stupid question> a person themselves can be bad luck?

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> gO D fuck i shdouvle known hahaha i shodulve known> rthis was a stupdi idea> leik that time i thoguth i should try hpopign the fence, tbut ehn forgot to hop the fence? > hiarlisou> comedic gold, apollo sjustice> maybe if i ever get tired of hrtis lawyer busienss i can become a comedian hwo about that????

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> yuta i LVOE you ouy uknow that?> youre the best brpthoer i couldve evr aksed for > always ptutign upwith me even thgout i think younknwo as well as i do that im nrothing but trouble

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> im a curse> im a curse im ac ursed im a curse go d i> allive evr done is bring truoble to people aruoudn me> sometimes they eve n die get??a f uckign load of that> wanna hear a sedcret, yuta??? soemtimes i wish id died in that stupdi fucking fire instead of my dad> tookt away him frmo ym mom> you wont evens ee anhy of this twhy do i rven btoehr> god pao llo youer ufcking stupid lmao

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> you ahevt o get awya from me> i dont want antyhgin to happen toy ou> like my dad or liek clay or dhurke > ill enver ever forgive myself for stifkcing around if anyhting were to happen to you

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> this is s tupid this is all so fucking stupid> sorry jstu forget abtou it 

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> messed up m sorry> ill tell you mroe later when i can 

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> i did something stupid last night, haha...> just a minor accident. everything’s fine, now, though. just slipped down a few steps and knocked my head around some. no big deal> you can just disregard what i said. i should probably stop drinking when i’m alone> i was lucky it was just that. it could’ve been worse, the doctor said. i’m sorry about worrying you, kind of, since i know you probably won’t be able to see any of this until later today...> i need to stop being reckless with things like this. it’s gonna get me in bad shape, and i can’t afford that. i have people to look after now and a judicial system to rebuild, right?> here’s to hoping. i’ll .. be fine.

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[SMS: NAHYUTA 🐉]> Hello, excuse us for the interruption, but you are listed as Mr. Apollo Justice’s emergency contact. Mr. Justice is currently residing in the hospital in intensive care, and while we cannot disclose any information at the time being over the phone, you are welcome to call the hospital at the number enclosed. Thank you for your time.

#karmicbutterfly #answered. #I SPENT SO LONG ON THIS REARRANGING THE TEXTS AND MAKING SURE I DIDNT SKIP ONE #BUT WATCH I BET I DID #take it #also do hospitals text people? idk

[beatmyaudio]

U Shouldve Known Better Song Lyrics – Monica

U Shouldve Known Better Song Lyrics

U Shouldve Known Better Song Lyrics From Popular Hollywood Artist Monica from Album.

This song is sung by singer ” Monica ” in Year 2004.

Lyrics of U Shouldve Known Better :

i didnt ask to go with you to mexico i really didnt need the shopping sprees in la on melroseboy if you didnt know it well now you know i didnt need the furs or the jewelry because material things they dont mean much to me and ever since youve been gone ive been holdin us down on my owni never ever cheated i never ever lied so you could stop asking me asking me why why i never left you and why i kept it real and why im still with youu shouldve known better than to think i would leave u shouldve better than to doubt me dear it dont matter if yourematter if youre down either way im gonna be around u shoudve known that i would stay by your side u shouldve known your girl was gonna ride or die and it just dont matter if youre rich or pooroutor in doing 5 to 10 u shouldve known betterwhat makes you think that i would forget about you think about itwho comes to see ya every saturday and monday i was on that reciever me me your girl girl your life life your world world family and friends they just dont understand they say i should leave you alone but i say that they all should just leave us alone dont you get iti never evr cheated i never ever lied so you could stop asking me asking me why why i never left you and why i kept it real and why im still with youu shouldve known better than to think i would leave u shouldve better than to doubt me dear it dont matter if yourematter if youre down either way im gonna be around u shoudve known that i would stay by your side u shouldve known your girl was gonna ride or die and it just dont matter if youre rich or pooroutor in doing 5 to 10 u shouldve known betteru shouldve known better than to think i would leave u shouldve better than to doubt me dear it dont matter if yourematter if youre down either way im gonna be around u shoudve known that i would stay by your side u shouldve known your girl was gonna ride or die and it just dont matter if youre rich or pooroutor in doing 5 to 10 u shouldve known betterno matter what they think about you theres nothing i could do without you

U Shouldve Known Better Song Lyrics

Youtube Channel Link

Lyrics, Edit, English, Hollywood, Monica, U Shouldve Known Better from WordPress https://ift.tt/2YUZJCO via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

[sapphroditee]

ok its five in the morning i am NOT tired and i want to spit some TRUTH cause i know yall feel me on this. so we can all agree that love is stupid and feelings are stupid and none of it makes sense. its irrational and not logical its just fake whatever so like obviously you cant control your feelings for someone. this is a fACT cause if you could i wouldnt have wasted so much of my life on mediocre white boys anyway if you date someone and it turns out youre just not really feeling them and you have to end it you feel bad right??? you dont wanna tell them youre not into them caus e youj dont wanna hurt their feelings but like???? why do we feel bad?? you cant help how you feel!!! shit’s not your fault!!! its not like youre saying theyre a disgusting awful human who isnt worthy of love, your heart just isnt with it1!! when youre on the other end: if someone ends things with you but you were really into them chances are youll feel really shitty and maybe take it personally when it has nothing to do with you! they just didnt have feelings like that!!! shouldnt be an issue!!!! but why do i get SO fuckin upset when people dont love me?! i need to leave them alone!!! its not their fault and its not my fault. in theory NONE OF THIS SHOULD BE A PROBLEM BUT IT BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN YOURE MAKING YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE AND EVERYONE YOU ENCOUNTER EITHER ISNT INTO YOU OR YOU ARENT INTO THEM . aNd its like.......when will two (or three or more whatever) people feel the exact same way about each other at the same time??? what are the odds of finding soemone who is really into you and wants the exact same things you do and the circumstances are perfect and allow the relationship to work??? ill tell you what the odds the odds are bullshit to never gonna happen. i can onyl imagine being 30 years old when youre “supposed to” hav e”settled down” and youve been dating for a lifetime and havent found the right person yet then you can start to feel like that person doesnt exist which is a shitty feeling! its human bloofy nature to want other humans and when  you dont have that it can get awful so im only 18 and theres a good chance that ill meet my soulmate tomorrow in the munchi e amrt but theres an even gooder chance that i could be 20 years into the future never haveing had a serious relatiobsjip like phoebe in friends and that scares me like everyone has at least one person out there HWY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND THEM? so ive been thinking abd after this analysis ive come to theconclusion that lvoe needs to be cancelled, and relatipnships need to be caneleed so no one has to worry about this evre and if you already have  a relationsui pls turn it in to my desk tomoroww so we cna all try tostart fresh as a sociert with no pressure on romatic relationships and no craving intimacy is lovey ways whos with me?????

why didnt i just go to sleep whos reading posts at 6 in the morning

[gumdecay]

#ive been reworking this 4 like a week n i dont like it as much as i want 2 but summer is officially ovr so *shrug emoji* #summer used 2 b My Season n now it just leaves me feeling sick n sad n lonely :/ #idk when it happened but i think when i stopped having ppl 2 spend it with which.. typical.. can only evr b happy when im not alone :/ #im excited 4 the cold which i nvr used 2 b but i spent this whole summer w my ac on as cold as it goes so like. it wont b new ig. idk i feel #weird today i dont like it i dont like this but i got good feedback on the 1st version so.. that must mean st ig ? idk #talk2 me abt summer tbh n abt fall like.. hnstly talk 2 me abt nything im lonely lol :') #o

[gumdecay]

.

#u evr think abt Just How Many ppl have abused/traumatized u. like. ive literally been abused nonstop since infancy n i Still get ppl tellin #me that things get better. like bitch WHEN this has been my Entire Life i have literally not known a fucking DAY in my life where i wasnt be #in abused. like i get it ur neurotypical so u dont give a shit but like. pls. stop pushin that bullshit onto me!! #it Doesnt get bettter!! im fucking trans n gay n severely traumatized all those things mean im more likely 2 kill myself n im ngl its not fa #r off!! its gonna get better when im 6 feet under n the worms r eatin this shit body n shit brain that i no longer have 2 deal w!!!!! #fucks sake!!!!!!! leave me alone i wanna suffer in peace w/o u shoving ur bullshit fake ass positivity down my fucking throat!!!!!!! #not directed at nyone here n esp not directed @ any mentally ill ppl tryin 2 be positive im Specifically talking abt neurotypical fucks who #think they kno more abt my illnesses n my own fucking life than me lol