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#i dont want that to happen with my nana y'know?
nightseeye
·
3 years
Text
Bro its now tag rant hours
Warning for cancer ment. and overall anxiety/panic
#vent
#vent post
#im scared as shit rn! terrified!! off the shits x-treme fear!!!!!
#yesterday i learned my nana has breast cancer!!!!
#and the more i think abg it the more it literally hurts!!!!
#it got caught early but like! shit! fuck! damn what if it goes wrong!!!
#i really cant stand the thought of my nana dying i can Not!!!!!
#and my mom didnt talk abt this but i know medical bills are fuckin Expensive! screaming!!!!!
#im also worried that if my nana dies... im gonna forget her
#my great uncle died a few years ago and i? cant muster up solid feelings about it
#i dont really remember him
#i dont want that to happen with my nana y'know?
#and we cant even VISIT her bc of this whole covid shit. we dont wanna get her and my papa sick!!!
#i. :(
#im big sad dot png but i also feel like im suppressing the emotions n i Know thats not healthy
#its probably adhd helping out w that aspect :/
#i also just. dont wanna cry over an empty grave! i wanna see the glass half full!! but im terrified!!!!
#and despite all this ive still gotta try n pull my english grade outta the dirt. h. school is already hard enough online as is
#this isnt gonna help
#man im just feeling all kinds of fucked up about this
#:(
#nighty chatter
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zeawesomebirdie
·
3 years
Text
In 2021 I am letting go of my insecurities
Aka im writing super gay fanfiction to share with my Nana because she wanted to read my writing
#also im forgiving myself
#and letting go of the people who hurt me
#and apologizing to the people i hurt
#i dont want to be annoying about this
#but
#nearly dying back in november really did bring out the best in me
#because that happened ive grown up
#ive essentially become a real adult
#i dont know how ive managed to survive this long being hateful and suicidal
#but since november ive been able to let go of so much
#since november ive been able to really grow up
#i dont even need anyone to acknowledge this
#just
#ive gotten better
#my family doesnt recognize it but thats okay
#because i know
#y'know
#also my nana is looking forward to seeing my fics
#she prints out my fanfics
#im going to get a copy of light again printed for her
#personal
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