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#i dont want to do that

Me: *is alone with my thoughts for one (1) second*

My hell brain: Time to remake my Entire Image And Personality :)

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help my mom wants me to interact with the relatives who are visiting us, what do i do?????

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I feel like all I do is make people uncomfortable and annoy people

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- She has a codename that goes by Catera 626. Catera being long for cat and 626 are the numbers for my birthday! June 26! 

- She likes to practice the Violin on her spare time, and it’s her favorite instrument because of it’s soothing sounds. That is if it doesn’t make the horrible screeching noise when it’s not tuned correctly.

- She can transform between her Magicat form and humanoid form at will. She was always born with the standard magicat form though. What is a magicat exactly? Part cat, part dragon. 

- Her humanoid form has a hat and a prosthetic arm. But her base form doesn’t. Reason being is contact with chemicals that caused her right arm to become infected which didn’t take effect on her magicat form. The robot arm is there so it doesn’t spread. The hat, however, is just there for style.

- She can still feel pain in her robotized arm though. 

- She’s kind of shy about sharing her sexuality outside of the other mercenaries. She is pan but never really experienced a crush on anybody…well, nobody she could think of at least. 

- Her favorite food and drink is chicken, and grape soda floats. 

- She really likes coffee but the stuff makes her hella tired.

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my intrusive thots rlly b liek: oh that’s absolutely disgusting, what if it was in your mouth?

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Yesterday my therapist and I went over the criteria of DID and to my surprise I actually got all of them in some shape or form. She wants me to write down when I dissociate and not feel like myself to see if it’s not just a reaction to stress or other circumstances.

I always feel like I’m faking all of this, that I’m doing it for attention and that the small things I remember aren’t even real or that I’m overreacting because it wasn’t so bad.

I always thought that getting a definite diagnosis would help me, but now that I’m in the progress of it I just want to push everything away again and stop going to therapy and forget I ever even thought something was off

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You know I was fine with them airing episodes out of order. I was mad but whatever at least we were getting episodes. I was just happy to be getting such good episodes.

But this is too far.

Airing the fucking finale before the season is even over?

There’s no way Chat Blanc and Félix are better than the finale. There is no possible way that the finale should be done before those two episodes. There is no reason those two episodes should be aired after the epic conclusion to such a great season.

I’m just so pissed. I cant even be happy that the finale is so close.

I just want to see Chat Blanc and Félix.

I know there’s no way I’ll be able to hold myself back from watching the episode either. There’s no way I’ll be able to avoid the spoilers no matter how much I try. I have no self control and even though that’s a personal problem the TV station is mainly at fault.

I’m just…so fucking mad. I’m so mad that the experience of watching Chat Blanc and Félix will probably be ruined because they decided to air the finale early. How are those two episodes possibly going to top the finale?

I honestly hope season 4 is better than this because this is so shitty.

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if you’re going to think of ace people differently or negatively because of your bad experience with ace people or ace discourse especially if that shit was online on tumble.hell where random people with potentially batshit views put themselves out there to dumb children and dumb young adults who repeat it and perpetuate a cycle of, what is often hate, towards a straw man, just stop right here and unfollow me, ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY if you’re ganna put that dumb shit on my dash. i have been lucky enough to have ace friends that i super duper appreciate and are good, real life people. don’t reblog this with a snarky response, don’t say anything to me or about my friends, PLEASE RESPECT MY WISHES AND GO AWAY. I’m Begging You. thanks.

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me: stays up for an hour on a weekday cause im stressed at the idea of moving or working in nyc

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so the secretary at a school last week went ahead and made up an absence for me to fill tomorrow, saying she’d update it as soon as someone called out. well, she just updated it, for a job lasting an hour and forty-five minutes starting at 7:15 am

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I stan so many groups or I have in the history of my time in Kpop. I suppose I should narrow it down by doing like top 20 or something…

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Ughhhh patriots lost.

I have two shifts tomorrow with an Alzheimer’s patient. Kind of nervous. It’s 3 hours each shift. So I’m kind of glad it’s split up. Feels less overwhelming.

It’s also only 7:30 so I could still get a run in before heading to bed. I should do that.

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I’ve been sick all week and now I got to go back to school :(

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so I’m cancelling all of my subscriptions except to Netflix, and for one of these subscriptions the only way to cancel is to write them a letter and send it through the actual mail, to fucking Germany. they could not have made this any more annoying.

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