#i dont want to do this anymore

[crosshairslongasslegs]

IF WE ALL GO IN, WE’RE NOT ALL MAKING IT OUT WHAT THE FUCK

#IM SICK #ABORT #IM GOING TO PASS OUT #I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE #the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #star wars

[noname-404s-blog]

"Depression" by Erik Turner.

#how i feel #this is depressing #this is the worst #this is me #depression #heartbreak #i feel betrayed #i feel like shit #i feel so bad #i feel empty #worst feeling ever #feeling emotional #strange feeling #worst feeling in the world #in my feels #i feel sick #i dont want to do this anymore #i dont want to feel anymore #sadness #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #sadcore #depressing life #and heartbreak image #im crying #sad thoughts #i need heeeeelp #i want to be okay #i want to be enough #i want to disappear

[the-ace-of-arrows]

I don't truly experience anything

- a poem of some sort, I suppose

aromantic - I've never felt this thing that others say define us as human.

this feeling that in media seems to be the one feature that qualifies an alien or a robot as owning a soul

this one feeling that everyone seems so obsessed over

the thing behind the curtains of everything

the thing that surely, no one could ever live without, right?

I've never been with a person, thinking about how I'd love to spend the rest of my life with them and them alone

I've thought I might have, several times, with my closest friends, the ones I feel comfortable around

but it's not the same

it's not how others describe it

I've never wanted to kiss anyone

the closest I've come to romantic love is platonic

but if it is

if it turns out I'm pan- and polyromantic

if I've only ever experienced romantic love, and never platonic

then I'm still one form of love short from everyone else

I'm still less

asexual - I've never wanted intimacy the way others seem to.

I've never seen a person and felt anything like what people have described

I've never been able picture myself in a sexual setting, and I've certainly never enjoyed it when I've tried

I've never experienced an orgasm, not even sure I could if I tried

I've never felt the need to do anything of the sort

I've felt the want to, sure, but even then, not really

because I've never wanted it for it, I've wanted it to feel included

I've wanted to know what everyone else seem to revolve their life around

I wanted to understand, and to stop being so alien to the people around me whenever I just don't understand something

agender - I don't understand it

really, it just doesn't make any sense to me

never has, and tbh I just thought we'd all agreed to just go with it, because that's what everyone else did

I've never felt like a girl

I've never felt like a boy

I have yet to understand what this "feeling" is supposed to feel like

I'm me

just me

my body exists, sure

and I guess it's keeping me alive, so I'll try not to damage it too much

but it has never really meant any more than that in any way that means anything

it's a house

and you can decorate it to your choosing

and sometimes you'd like to move, but then you look at the housing market at the moment and decide that actually

the house I have now isn't that bad

and of course, you can't tear down a load bearing wall, the whole house would collapse

but otherwise, do whatever you want with what you've got, and you'll be good.

I guess in that sense I've kind of seen trans people as claustrophobic people stuck in a small attic-appartment without windows

the housing market is still horrible, and so they start by making modifications

make a window

let the air in

maybe even make a terrace on the roof out the window

doing what make them feel better

and if that so means I'll have to stop calling their house and attic, because they've expanded so much it's really a proper house now, then sure, I'll change the mailing address, why not?

agnostic - I say agnostic, but really I'm just afraid to say atheist

because I've never been able to believe

I don't even think I've ever really grasped the concept properly

but I want to

I really really do

I want to believe that there's some higher power out there

that there's someone looking out for us

taking care of us

I so badly want that comfort that others seem to get from talking into the void and somehow still feeling heard

but I don't know how

belief is such an amazing thing

belief is unconditional trust, something I'd almost call stronger than unconditional love

it's trusting that someone else will do good without any guarantee beforehand

and yet even when it comes to my closest friends, I can't do it

because I only actually believe in them if I've seen proof of it before, and that's not belief, it's a conditional trust

and I'm so incredibly jealous of the ones who are able to do so

I wish I was religious

a human - ahuman

I sometimes don't think I'm human

and I it

so much

because these are the things that everyone else call "reasons to live"

these are the traits that everyone says define what it means to "be human" or "be alive"

and so if I don't

if I never experience the reasons to live

if I never experience what it is to be human

if I never experience the essentials of being alive

then what am I?

I have no reason to live, so I'm meaningless

I'm not a human, so I'm alien

I'm not alive, so I'm dead

I'm a meaningless alien, dead to the world and to myself

a non-human, walking around with no purpose or light

a nothing

existing in the background

and even then, not really existing either

because what is existence without purpose or life?

a - the greek prefix for no, and the letter that seems to pursue my very being

a-being

a-thing

no-thing

I'm nothing

I'm nothing, wanting everything

staring at the rest of the world as if through the pages of a book that I'm doomed to only ever read and never experience myself

I hate it

I'm jealous

I want what everyone else has

And I'm crying

Somehow

I'm crying

because even with all the everything that I just seem doomed to never feel

for some reason the universe never thought to add sadness to that pile

#aroace #asexual #aro #aromantic #lgtbqia+ #lgbt #agender #agnostic #atheist #atheism #ace #sad thoughts #sad poetry #idk what to tag this as #i dont want to do this anymore #im tired #and im sorry #to anyone reading this who use the same labels I do #please don't feel bad about your labels or identity because of this #youre valid #im just a mess #sorry

[d0n7tvvan90]

I think I'm far beyond repair.

#self h@te #self h@rm #tw self destruction #$elf harm #i dont want to be here #$elf h4rm #self h4te #self destruction #depressing shit #i dont want to be alone #i dont want to do this anymore

[gramarobin]

#organization #declutter #i dont want to do this anymore #so true

[qwistei]

wanted to post this one for a while

drew this last summer, i think this is one of my favorite works so far :3

ill probably post something that i drew last year bc i still cant work on my part of the collab properly im really sorry :cc

actually the main reference in this piece is from matryoshka pjmirai pv ill leave the link in comments

#art #vocaloid #kaito vocaloid #カイト #im so tired #i dont want to do this anymore #i love kaito #kaito is the man father figure in my life and i cant really do something abt it #qwistei is trying

[strawbn1ng]

I totally hate having social anxiety. Like, I overthink about ANYTHING, and for anything I mean everything. You make a face? I'm overthinking. Ignore just one thing I said? I'm overthinking. Saying to me one thing that for other people wouldn't be bad or something, just like telling? I`M FUCKING OVERTHINKING.

And it fucking hurts, because I think that everybody hates me for no reason. It`s so exhausting it makes me wanna cry for hours and hours. But do you know the worst part? I can not cry. Not a single tear from my eye. I wanna cry, but I can't.

Note: this is just vent, probably deleting this later

#tw vent #vent #i wanna be perfect #i dont want to do this anymore #send help #not funny #actually mentally ill #im dyin rn #i dont want it #gonna cry #gonna delete later #probably gonna die #social anxiety #depressing shit #overthinking #this is a shit

[health-diaries24]

Everyone always says "oh, don't d!3, don't kys, you have so much to l!v3 for! Your family will miss you, your friends too. You're just being selfish."

B!tch, yall don't think I KNOW that already? Honestly. Those people would be better off if I just d!3d no f^cking joke.....

#tw depressing thoughts #vent post #depressing shit #vent #tw vent #i wanna die #hit me with a car #i dont wanna live but im too scared to die #i dont want to do this anymore #k!ll me now #k!ll me please #sewersidal #sewer slide #sewercide #tw self destruction #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #tw sucidal ideation #tw sui ideation

[secretpicnic]

guys shots hurt ☹️ someone find out how I can get testosterone without having to actually put in work bc shit sucks

like maybe being a woman isn't so bad

(joshing you this is great)

#needles are bad #screw them #i dont want to do this anymore #but unfortunately god hates me #slaying the day away tbh #like bro #ftm hrt #so not cool #not gvf #or mcr #but i am trans #LMAO #trans masc #transgender #ftm #trans ftm #nonbinary #enby #not mcr

[steampunk-the-dragon]

I want to die, I want to cut, all the goddamn time. Even if I'm laughing, or smiling, or acting okay, I can feel it under the surface, always there. I never want to be alive, not even for a moment. As soon as I stop keeping busy, it's all over me and and I'm under the surface, flooded with the exhaustion that comes from being alive and so desperately not wanting to.

#done with life #let me die #fuck life #die #fuck living #done with people #fuck society #society is fucked #so fucking tired #hate myself #razorblade #everything sucks #i dont want to be here #im done #i dont want to do this anymore #i dont want to live anymore #i never wanted to live #fuck everyone #fuck everything #fuck #fuck this

[mysticaidenanimatez]

Another vent post with my mother figure.

And yes, I put my watermark on this, too. Why? Idk.

I don't want to be here currently. Please don't ask me to open up about it.

#kill me. #i dont want to be here #i dont want to exist #i dont want to be an adult #i dont want to do this anymore #i cant do this anymore #i dont want to grow up. #why is life so fucking hard. #why is being a kid so hard. #i keep procrastinating #i keep pushing people away #i keep pushing away my own feelings #vent post #tw vent #vent #art #artwork #digital art #Marina. #oc art #ocs #oc #mother figure #I need help. #im tired. #Too tired. #i want to sleep forever

[insanecreetur]

" Sleepin' through your days and skippin' meals

must sound so unappealing but I guess it's different when it's the norm.

Sinking deeper into whatever this is without a hint of reflection

Can't tell if this is the calm or if this is the storm. "

" I just hope you all know.. I feel so braindead next to you, it's not like you intend to, hurt me or make me feel this way.

And im not tryin' to complain but it just sucks to try and explain why I feel like this every day. "

" No matter how hard I try i'm still not trying hard enough to be, Great. "

Bugbear [by Chloe Moriondo] is getting way too relatable :/

#insane creetur ramblings #vent #song quotes #Bugbear Chloe Moriondo #actually mentally ill #bpd #traumatized #cptsd #ed #sh #self h@te #self h@rm #su1c1dal #depressing shit #chronically ill #k!ll me #im so tired #bpd thoughts #i dont want to do this anymore

[that-gum-wrapper-on-the-street]

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

Even if you don't forgive me, I'm sorry

#late night thoughts #im unwell #i'm sorry #personal vent #i should sleep #rant #forgive me #i dont want to do this anymore #i'm so tired #venting #self h@rm #vent post

[gramarobin]

It was such a gorgeous day today considering its the 2nd week of March in Michigan. Sadly, I spent almost all of my day inside laboring (on my laptop-pictured) over an essay about American veterans and homelessness- complete with cover, abstract, and references for community college english class. I'm only on page 2 Ugh 😫 This is not fun. Plus I have to get two of my classmates to peer review my essay before I can submit it- think I will get the cooperation of 2 classmates? I'm doubting it. I'll report back!

#community college #english class #ugh #not fun #i dont want to do this anymore

[qwistei]

end of 2022->end of 2023

decided to upload this one here also i think i wont post any new digital art bc something happened w my tablet

anyways here it is i dont like how this one turned out

#art #vocaloid #kaito #this looks like shit #カイト #im so tired #i dont want to be here #i dont want to do this anymore #im slowly losing my sanity #sorry for being depressing #qwistei is trying

[queeriboh]

IM SO FUCKING TIREDBOF START8NG EVERY DAY BAWLING MY FUCKING EYES OUT

#IM TIRED #I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE