#i dont want to remember

[mxshpitbaby]

Memory, like a roadway, is emptied by plague.

Maybe I should have inked first, had my skin tainted. Tinted. Designs—de-signs. Marking and disfiguring, transforming skin, at least the upper dermis. Permanent to-do lists (get out) (don't get in in the first place)—dreamed misnomers laid upon.

— Ken Baumann, Solip

#i dont want to remember #but i can't forget #books and libraries #bookblr #human experience #memory #book quotes #dark acadamia quotes #prose #prose and poetry #solip #literature quote #lit #literature #bookaddict #insight #perspective #existence #quotes about life

[themummersfolly]

.

#its 9/11 and i am not ready for the weird ceremonialism #i dont WANT to remember #i was 11 years old watching real people die on national tv #and what followed was the biggest shitshow since vietnam #and a frankly embarrassing era of american history #which filled all the rest of the time it took me to grow to adulthood #and ultimately created the bullshit situation we find ourselves in today

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[joshuamj]

The Magnus Protocol 1 - First Shift

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #the magnus protocol spoilers #tmagp spoilers #tmagp fanart #josh art tag #magnuspod #look art where i dont draw people! its amazing!! #i so rarely draw art without some sort of person in it lol #also i remember seeing people illustrate episodes of tma so i wanted to try it with tmagp!

[beemintty]

some things remind me of people who i'd rather not be reminded of.

#on life #thoughts #my thoughts #on love #memory #memories #dont remind me #this reminded me of you #i dont want to remember

[procyonidaez]

i feel so fucking disgusting and broken.

#i fucking hate myself #i keep thinking too hard and remembering things i shouldnt #i dont want to remember #and yet its all i can get off to #i should chop my hands off #ill do drugs about it instead #p #delete

[nakathemoth]

Constantine honest to god thought a child had just been struck by lightning and died by his side

#I WANTED TO DRAW MY TOP THREE DC BOYS INTERACTING SOMEHOW #dont ask me why bruce is standing in the rain waiting for the bus. Something happened. Jason took the batmobile I dont know #anyways neither of them remembered to bring an umbrella. billy to the rescue #DC #my art #shazam #billy batson #batman #bruce wayne #constantine #john constantine #fanart

[morebird]

Later on, when we are at rest, I will eat you right up.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 fanart #fanart #illustration #i want to know what they put into astarion #every free moment that i have my mind just defaults to astarion #i dont remember the last time i was this insane about a character

[u3pxx]

KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that. My kineema.”

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.

EMPATHY - And it’s not going to be pretty, do something!

- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!

- “Sure is.”

DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely he’s aware that he’s not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?

YOU - “Is it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who could’ve driven it into the uh…”

DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!

YOU - “It could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!”

KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you haven’t seen him display before.

INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to him…

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.

ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.

HALF LIGHT - He’s going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! You’re a terrible liar! You can’t look at this, you just can’t!

VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.

KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. “Detective, it says ‘57’ on it.”

YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. “Maybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?”

LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.

KIM KITSURAGI - “57.”

YOU - “What about 57?”, you brace yourself.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Precinct 57.”

YOU - You wince. “Kim, look-”

KIM KITSURAGI - “When I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.” He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."

He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. “God. Fuck. They’re going to fire me over this, they’re not going to hear me out.”

EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you don’t want it to be the truth.

YOU - “People are more valuable than machines, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Not people like me.” He rasps.

YOU - “…”

KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.

YOU - “Kim?”

KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for help— if he even wanted to — his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.

YOU - “KIM!!!!”

uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt

(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)

also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #den's disco swap #disco elysium role swap #HI nobody look at the fact that. i am a novice writer at best DFGHJFGH #i had idea for some comic dialogue but it ended up being this instead whoops. i mean i could still draw this as a comic #anyways. i was like. trying to reverse engineer my idea of how kim can change into his bomber jacket instead of his uniform. #which. i dont think you can do with just simple convincing bc that thing is fused to him in spirit so there has to be like a good reason wh #oh it gets ruined! how? it gets like wet or smth! how'd that happened? he threw himself into the sea #also isnt it fitting that my memory problems is making me not remember the things that happen in disco elysium very well wheezes #so whoops if the characterization is a lil off lmaoooooo #but i have been trying to figure out how i want harry to be in this swap au #i dont think he's as well as he wants you to believe he is. and just the image of him pushing this 'youre allowed to be in denial about + #this' to kim about the kineema was so vivid in my head and idk if that tracks but hell. its in there now dfghdjfg #starry don't look #sunnysidedraws #sunnysidedisco

[fisheem4mmal]

ミート・イン・ア・ドリーム

#malleus draconia #sebek zigvolt #silver twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #twst spoilers #for silver's um in a way #i have just a small brief story behind this #silver dream travelled ever since he was small and has actually met and played with sebek and malleus in that dream world #i dont think any of them remember #didnt think far for this i just wanted to draw the idea

[yvtro]

i think in general sometimes when people interpret characters they give them too much credit in a sense that they forget that people are often very much contradictory in their beliefs and sometimes they believe one thing but do another like. sometimes people say they want to leave when they want to stay. sometimes they stay when they want to leave. sometimes they say they understand something when they don’t and sometimes they say they don’t need things that they’re desperately yearning for. and if you want to create an appropriately multi dimensional reading of a character you need to accommodate this.

#media literacy #but also #media deconstruction #also i gave examples for wanting one thing doing another #but dont miss me saying that they can be contradictory even just in belief #or in needs or in wants etc #i don't even remember what it was about i found it in my drafts?? curious who annoyed me to make this post happen

[intotheelliwoods]

Happy to have 2 Arms Left in the comp another year! While this isnt Sprouts first rodeo, its Poptarts first! Everyone give him a welcome :)

@tmntaucompetition

Bonus, featuring Poptarts bestie, because no one can convince me otherwise that Poptart will get overwhelmed with the amount of people- @dianagj-art

#oh gosh theres so many aus #I wanted to cameo a lot but then I proceeded to run out of room and time haha #unsure how much energy I am going to have to make consistent propaganda and crossovers #but we will see!? #haha job + college is only SLIGHTLY kicking my ass and taking my free time #also I dont think I am going to have a fun time with the decades theme imma be real #I am not very confident in my clothes drawing skills aha <3 #2 arms left #also remember last year how sprout got to tie with his bestie imbi? #best case scenario for this year: poptart getting to tie with his bestie one :) #the besties

[robotpussy]

#polls #personally i dont like it but thats only because i dont like fandom. the type of stuff that gets the most attention #in fandom usually just annoys me idk. how to explain it in a way that wont come off as me saying #fanfic or whatever is evil its just the fact that it just bombards alot of the conversations? #i prefer it when the thing i like has 10 fans and theyre all on one message board or forum #like for example mtvs downtown is getting popular but apart from annoying #'me and the mid nerd guy i copped by being weird and sexy' posts its not awful.... #but then smth like... clone high or smth i suddenly cant remember ppl just got so annoying abt that show?? #like i cant stand it i dont even bother watching it anymore plus its just weird to me now like i can't watch it regardless #im just rambling but personally i do not like it. like i dont want what i like to get a revival #i dont want anything new! i just want to enjoy the thing and move on 😭 #fandom seems to prioritize shipping and memes over evaluating or simply just enjoying something! #this goes for anything. music film tv books....

[1caru]

downfall cuddles for anyone who needs them right now

#i dont post about real world stuff much cause i want my blog to be a place to unwind #but things are rough at the moment and i needed to vent just a little #anyway pray for gaza and remember to boycott yall #lu legend #lu hyrule #linked universe #linkeduniverse #my art

[ibrithir-was-here]

How the heck is there not more talk about Tanith Lee??

Like my gosh, the woman wrote, according to her wiki, 90 books, over 300 short stories, two World Fantasy Awards, and was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award/Augus Derleth Award and wrote for tv shows.

Like, it's not like she just wrote a heck ton but wasn't very good! She was clearly very good she won awards, and i've read a swath of her stuff across different genres and really enjoyed most of it. I mean that even if not each one has been my cup of tea I can at least appreciate the skill and quite a lot I have truly enjoyed. She's got great prose and style and imagination. Not everything obviously was a banger, but they've all been at least well written, which is harder to come by in writing than you might think.

But nobody ever seems to talk about her?? And I feel like the fantasy crowd on here would really enjoy her stuff. The woman has done stuff in pretty much every genre from what I can see, but I never see her listed on fantasy authors like Clive Barker or Diana Wynne Jones or Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett or Diane Duane even though she was writing at the same time and has a similar sort of '80s Doing Cool Stuff with Fantasy vibe' I feel like people who like those authors would enjoy though she's very much her own style of author.

Anyway this was really just me putting out a rant that such a prolific and talented author seems to have fallen by the wayside and I think it's really a shame

Heck she even did a witch-queen fighting againt vampire Snow White a whole decade before Neil Gaiman did his phenomenal Snow Glass Apples and it's also excellent, give a look here:

#tanith lee #fantasy authors #fantasy books #70s fantasy #80s fantasy #90s fantasy #british fantasy #British writers #i dunno how to tag i just want this woman to be remembered darn it #Youtube #i hope its ok to tag the authors mentioned #not trying to spam but like also want the fan crossover to get people interested in her again? #i dont know why i'm taking this so personally xD #neil gaiman #diane duane #terry pratchett #clive barker #diana wynne jones #vampire snow white

[may12324]

Sabran and the White Wyrm - from The Priory of the Orange Tree.

#the priory of the orange tree #tpotot #queen sabran #samantha shannon #sabran #just pretend this dragon is this small #in the book it is so much bigger #but i wanted to draw them like this #so bleh #my art #if you have read the book then maybe this means sometghing else #if you havent read the book then dont worry amd ignore that tag #i just remember they have the same colour eyes #when you find out that the witch of the woods is *redacted* #that was ny thought process here #so maybe i am lying about this woman with the green eyes #but WHICH woman with the green eyes? 👀