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fairy-angel222 · 2 months

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OFFICE SLUT! ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

—in which your boss toji catches you fucking your two coworkers gojo and geto

pairing: gojo, geto, toji x fem! reader

cw: foursome, breeding, degradation, praise, belly bulge, spit swallowing, fingers in mouth, face fucking, tears licking, slapping, fingering, cumming untouched, pussy eating

Being your colleagues’ cum dump was something you’d never expected. Ever since you started working at the office one year ago, your two coworkers Gojo and Geto seemed to have taken a liking to you.

Their constant flirting never ended, often finding yourself sandwiched between the two males with their hands and mouths on your body.

It didn’t take long for you to inevitably fuck them. Cooped up in your office during lunch hour as they took turns fucking you raw and filling you up.

Then it happened again.. and again. Becoming a regular routine for the two men to use your pretty cunt for their pleasure.

You were in your office once more, your blouse unbuttoned down to your tits which spilled out of your lace bra. Your pencil skirt bunched around your waist as you bounced on Geto’s cock. Your hands on his shoulder to steady yourself and your head falling back in a string of loud moans.

Gojo stood above you with his hand around your neck, his lips on your ear as he rasped degrading words into your ear. “Just a lil fucking slut aren’t ya? Good for nothing else but spreading those sexy legs f’ us.”

You mewled at his words, hearing Geto grunt deeply when you clenched down on him. His cock was piercing your insides so deep, slamming mercilessly into your gummy walls which each upward movement of his hips. “Fuck, this slutty pussy never gets tired does it? Fucking made to take our cocks.” Geto groaned, his breathing speeding up as his hands on your hips tightened.

“Nnh— S-sugu- ahh— Suguru,” you cried out, your brain slowly losing any train of thought as you were roughly fucked closer to your orgasm.

“Fucking slut, you like that?” Gojo grinned, “Like having your slutty pussy filled?”

You nodded, your body trembling as your stomach tightened, the feeling of Geto’s cock hitting your g spot with no stop becoming too much as you let out a high pitched cry.

Your eyes rolling back and your breathing heavy as you felt yourself near the edge. Letting out incoherent babbles that you were about to cum.

“Is our little slut gonna cum for us? Go ahead baby, you deserve it.” Geto breathed, feeling his own release nearing as you spasmed on top of him. Nails digging into his back as your pussy gushed onto him messily.

Your lips parted, Geto’s cock pace still relentless as he chased his own high. Short moans matching his thrusts while you rolled your hips back and forth. Gojo chuckled, kissing and sucking up your neck before biting at the lobe of your ear. Bringing his lips to yours to kiss you sloppily, squeezing the sides of your neck before his other hand pried your mouth open with his fingers.

A smirk on his face as he let his spit fall onto your tongue, landing two mean slaps to your cheek before his fingers were back to forcing his saliva down your throat “So pretty like this.”

You whimpered around his fingers, small tears welling in your eyes as the slender digits pushed deeper into your mouth. Your drool running down your chin and his hand when you sputtered.

“Hmm, that’s what i like to fucking see.” Gojo could feel his cock straining hard in his work pants. The bulging dent more than visible to your eyes.

“Shit,” Geto cursed, his cock twitching at the sight of you gagging on Gojo’s fingers when the white haired man began to thrust them in and out.

Letting out a dragged groan, Geto held you still on his cock, pumping ropes of his hot seed into you. “Fucking look at how this pussy’s swallowing my cum.” he mused, slowly pulling you off of him and watching as you clenched down on nothing. Preventing his cum from seeping out of your greedy cunt.

Geto scoffed with a smirk, landing a harsh smack to your folds making you mewl, his palm coming into contact with your puffy clit.

“Guess it’s my turn.” Gojo bit his lip, roughly pulling you off of Geto by your throat and forcing you down onto your knees. Freeing his rock hard cock while his fingers dug into your cheeks. His cock throbbing when you looked up at him through your lashes. “Open.”

You did as told, opening your mouth to allow the man to thrust into it. A loud gag sounding in the small office as he forced it all the way in. The outline of his cock prominent in your throat as you breathed through your nose.

Still keeping eye contact when he grabbed onto the two sides of your head and began fucking your face. Moaning and groaning loudly while watching you messily drool onto your tits. Your eyes blurry with tears as your throat was relentlessly fucked into.

Geto began to stroke his cock to the choked gags sounding in your throat with each slam of Gojo’s hips. Your own hand reaching down to play with your clit as your mouth was used for nothing but pleasure.

Gojo grunted, “Now would you look at that, cock hungry whore’s getting off to this.”

Your whine was muffled as you ruthlessly rubbed over the bud, Geto’s cum beginning to seep out of your cunt as you messily rubbed your clit from side to side. Your wetness coating the floor and your hand as you whimpered around Gojo’s cock.

Gojo groaned, pulling you off of his cock and to your feet. His tongue swiping over the tears collected on your cheeks. “Wanna cum in that tight pussy instead.” Roughly bending you over your desk and landing a slap onto the flesh of your ass.

A moan leaving you when his hands reached to free your tits from the confinement of your bra. He wasted no time in plowing into you from behind. Your mouth falling open in scream like moans as you gripped the edges of the desk. Feeling his cock hammering its way deep into you, and hard.

You let out a cry every time his girth filled you up, grazing against your g spot even more than Geto had. “A-ahh f-fuck—“ you cried shakily, your body being jerked onto piles of paperwork, “Satoruu— nnh- ‘s so deep.” you keened. Your head getting dizzy as Geto’s cum was drilled out of you.

Gojo’s hips moving at an inhuman pace to bully your poor pussy. You lost it when a large hand reached forward to grope your tits, squeezing your hard nipples between his fingers before slapping each one. Drawing two consecutive cries past your lips.

“That’s it. Fucking take it.” Gojo gritted out, his fingers digging into your sides to fuck into you even faster. “Gonna breed this little pussy so full.”

The sensation was different, feeling Gojo’s tip prodding at your sensitive spot nonstop. The abuse causing your bladder to feel full as you moaned. Your eyes closing as you pressed your cheeks onto the glass desk. Seeing Geto fisting his cock at the same pace you were being destroyed at.

“S-shit,” Gojo breathed, his cock twitching against your walls. His head falling back in sharp breaths as he neared his release. “Clenching down on me so- fuck— tight.”

Your noises carried no sound as the most intense orgasm washed over you. Your body shaking uncontrollably as your toes curled, increasing your grip on the desks edge. “O-oh f-fuckkk.” you cried out loudly.

Unknowingly forcing Gojo’s cock out your slippery cunt as you squirted. Streams after streams of the clear liquid spraying messily onto his abs and thighs, a shiver raking through your body when your hand reached down to rub quick circles on your clit. “Nnhg— ahh, o-oh god,” you mewled tearily, your pussy unable to stop gushing despite the buckling of your knees.

Your body shivered when you finally came to a stop, panting hard in an attempt to catch your breath as your body went limp. A loud whistle coming from the man behind you as he assessed what just happened. Grinning widely before his eyes darkened.

“That was so fucking..” thrusting his cock back into you, “hot.” His thrusts now becoming uncoordinated as he rut into you. The sight of your orgasm somehow making him even harder than before. Skin on skin filling the air along with the lewd squelching sounds from your pussy.

Geto still couldn’t believe his eyes, his tip and angry red as he neared another release.

Gojo cursed out loudly, giving you his final crazed thrusts before he was burying his cock all the way in. Painting your guts with a satisfied hum. “Such a good breeding bunny for us.”

Geto got off of his seat, his abs tensing as he continued stroking his cock. “Put her on her knees for me.”

Gojo slipped out of you effortlessly, setting your jelly like frame on your knees for Geto to cum on your face and on your tits. Your fucked out brain barely registering it as you were coated with the sticky white substance.

The two mens’ heads turned at the sound of the office door being unlocked. You being too tired to even hear the sound. The was only one person who could have a key.. your boss, Toji Fushiguro.

Geto and Gojo glanced at each other, hurriedly trying to tuck themselves back in their pants while standing side by side facing the door in an attempt to hide you.

A deep voice traveled through the room as the door was slammed open. “Don’t bother, i know you three have been fucking.”

Shit.

“And you two know that this is unacceptable behavior.” Closing and locking the door behind him before walking up to you, watching as you blinked up at him confused. Toji stooped in front of you. Taking in the state of your clothes, the cum on your body and most importantly, your leaking pussy.

“S-sir we can exp-“

“Shut up.” Toji growled out, trailing a finger down your cheek. “It’s already bad enough that you two decided to play selfish with my pretty little employee.”

Gojo’s eyes widened, “What?”

“Don’t act all surprised, did you really think you could keep that pussy of hers all to yourselves?” Toji laughed, tilting his head at you with a coo, “You hear that baby? They thought they could get away with not sharing.”

You whimpered when Toji picked you up, his large muscles flexing under his shirt as he sat you on the desk. The other two’s soft cocks hardening again as they watched.

Toji smirked down at you, “Look at how dirty they have you.” Dragging his finger across your plump bottom lip, “Seems they’ve already done a number on ya. Shame that i have to add onto that.”

The man freed his cock from his pants, being way thicker and longer than the other to. You swallowed hard, your pussy getting wet at the thought of that in you.

Toji groaned, bringing his finger down to your cunt to dip into your sopping hole. “They couldn’t even open you up enough to take me. Looks like i’m about to ruin that fucking pussy.”

You mewled loudly when Toji lifted you up and in line with his cock. Already manhandling your body into a folded position to use you as his flesh light.

“Gonna break your slutty body baby, you ready for that?” Toji didn’t even give you a chance to respond before thrusting you down onto his cock. A loud cry falling off your tongue as his cock bulged in your stomach. Your pussy stretching to accommodate his girth.

“One of you. Come eat her out.” Gojo was quick to walk up to you, sitting on the sturdy desk and connecting his tongue to your cunt as Toji began to fuck himself using your pussy. Roughly lifting you on and off his cock, your moans deafening as he kissed your g spot right before kissing your cervix. Geto’s tongue swirling around your clit was a groan. Swallowing down your sweetness eagerly.

Geto stood jerking off again, his fist circling around his tip before stroking his length.

Your brain slowly turned to mush as you were fucked dumb. Gojo falling to his knees at the same time Toji decided to sit with you out his lap. His hands under your knees which were pressed up into your chest. Pounding into you with no mercy while Gojo suckled at your clit.

You mewled loudly, your head falling back onto Toji’s chest as your sensitive body was toyed with. Feeling another intense orgasm quickly bubbling in yours stomach as Toji’s cock hit a new angle. Hammering directly into your spot with force.

Geto appeared in front of your face, tapping his cock on your lips and watching as you opened up as wide as you can. Your moans and cries being muffled as your legs started to quiver. Geto groaned, easing himself fully past your lips and settling at the back of your tongue.

Your noises increased in volume when Gojo began flicking his tongue onto the swollen bud. Your pussy tightening on Toji’s cock while you sloppily attempted to suck Geto off. The man eventually taking the lead by fucking into the warmth of your mouth instead.

His heavy breaths mixing with your throaty cries and Toji’s deep groans. Creating an atmosphere of nothing but lewdity. Toji grunted, “You’re a real slut huh?” And you only whined into Geto, the noise sending vibrations a his body.

Gojo smirked against your skin, “We tell her that all the time, our personal little cum dump.” Going batch to latching his mouth onto you making you let out a choked moan.

You reflexively came off of Geto’s cock when you felt yourself about to cum. Your eyes rolled back and your forehead sweaty as your heart raced. Geto forcing his cock back into your mouth before you could get anything out. Tears welling in your eyes as your orgasm washed over you.

“Is our good little slut cumming for us?” Gojo teased, sucking harshly to drive you crazy. His mouth opening in anticipation as another squirting orgasm recked through you. The immense pleasure burning your stomach as you let go. Messily drenching Gojo’s face and the desk in front of you.

Toji’s thighs also becoming soaked as he fucked against the forceful sprays threatening to push his cock out. “Shit.” he husked, his cock twitching when you began to come down from your high. Your chest heaved, vision fading in and out as Geto began spilling into your mouth, the thick liquid sliding down your throat making you gag.

“Fuck- pussy feels like it was made to be bred.” Toji breathed, the thrusts slowing down as he released weeks’ worth of cum into you. Swelling your belly and you groan softly at the continuous feeling of being filled up.

Toji let his cock slip out of you, the still hard length springing into the air

Gojo placed a soft kiss to your cunt before he stood up with a smirk. His cum staining his pants from his cock rubbing against the fabric while he ate you out.

Gojo kissed your lips softly, a small smiling gracing your face. “Did so well for us. Such a good girl.” you let out a well needed breath. “‘M tired..” you mumbled.

Geto speaking up from where he stood, “Gotta get you cleaned up first baby.”

You shook your head sleepily, ignoring the feeling of multiple sets of cum flowing from your pussy as you closer your eyes. Snuggling closer to Toji’s hard chest before falling asleep.

Toji’s finger made soothing shapes on your skin, his voice calm and his face holding a spine chilling smile. “You’re lucky i don’t fire your asses for taking my claim before me.”

Gojo and Geto scratching the back of their heads nervously.

“But,” Toji continued, looking down at your pretty face as you slept. Your chest rising and falling softly. “We got more important things on our hands, like truly making her feel like she did a good job.” The other two nodding in agreement.

Toji already had something in mind, but he wondered how long it would be until you woke up.

#jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk smut #gojo x reader smut #gojo satoru smut #gojo smut #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #toji x reader smut #toji smut #geto x reader smut #geto smut #geto x reader #geto suguru #toji x reader #toji fushiguro

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kingkatsuki · 2 months

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Bakugou being so in love with you but he won’t ever admit it, my beloved.

Can you imagine Bakugou, who’s been in love with you since the moment he met you, catching you one evening trying to bake cupcakes in the kitchen. And he can see how angry and frustrated you are instantly, even without the evidence of many many failed attempts strewn all over the countertop.

Uneven batter, burnt edges, no rise— each time seems to get worse, even though you’re following the recipe to a T. But it’s late, you’re exhausted, and the only pleasure you have now is eating the leftover cake mix off your wooden spoon as you sit on the counter overlooking the mess you know you’ll have to clean up.

“You’ll get sick eating raw cake batter, dumbass.” Bakugou rolls his eyes as he looks at the mess of burnt cupcake failures strewn across the kitchen, “Why don’t you just buy yourself a cake?”

“Because I wanted to make the cupcakes,” You pout pathetically, dumping the spoon into the sink as you prepare to start the tedious cleanup.

“But you can’t bake for shit.” Bakugou scoffs.

“I know,” You heave a sigh, “But it’s Valentines tomorrow, and I thought—”

You trailed off, not knowing how to explain to Bakugou that the cupcakes were supposed to be for him.

But of course Bakugou doesn’t realise that, however perceptive he thinks he is he can’t see the big, fat crush you’ve had on him for just as long. Trying to ignore the ache in his chest at the thought of you gifting these cupcakes to someone else as he shoulders you out of the way with your dirty bowl, sticking it beneath the warm stream of water as he begins to clean it up.

“You don’t need to do that, Bakugou. I made the mess, I can—”

“Shut up, shitty woman,” He rolls his eyes, trying to mask the pained rasp in his throat, “We’re gonna bake the best fuckin’ cupcakes you’ve ever had.”

And he’s right. The cupcakes that now sit cooling on the counter look perfect, all of them the same shape and consistency as you watch Bakugou hover over them with the piping bag as he swirls the orange mixture onto each one with precision.

He doesn’t say a word when you’re finished, only a gruff grunt as he excuses himself from the kitchen. Cheeks flushed pink from the praise you’d given him, the sweetest words from you.

“Have you got a valentine, Bakugou?”

“Nah, it’s a stupid fuckin’ holiday.” He despised the glow of hurt that flashed through your eyes at that, despised that he was the one to make you feel shitty about trying to do something nice.

When the truth is, he loved that you were trying to bake cupcakes for someone, it showed just how sweet, kind and perfect you really were— he just wished you were baking those stupid cupcakes for him.

If only he knew that you’d wanted them to be perfect because they were for him.

And now you weren’t going to gift them to him because he thought it was a stupid holiday, and it was a stupid idea to think he might actually want them.

#LIKE IMAGINE HIM ASKING THE NEXT DAY IF THE GUY LIKED THEM?!?!?!#and you have to be like he didn’t no :(( he’s not interested #and Bakugou is just like fuck him and has NO CLUE that it’s him #I was gonna make this two weeks notice but idk I didn’t wanna write it in full #but that misunderstanding #sighhhhh #soft bakugou #Bakugou x reader

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furryfantasies · 2 years

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my life is in shambles woe is me (a family member ate my food)

#miniz rambles #i know ive been asleep all day lately but fuck you father #was keeping it for myself #am i gonna have to start hiding those in my room too #already do that with snacks cuz he can't help himself #he's already pissing me off so much today #now i gotta wait until they go to the store and hope they remember to get it #or if they'll even have it at all which they never do #sorry im pissed off again ignore this rant #i wouldn't be so pissed off if he also just stopped eating shit we eat and eat his own damn food #thats why we have so much frozen raw shit he never fucking eats it and instead eats our snacks and food #only thing he won't eat is mac n cheese which is why we have so much of it #ya get sick of it after a while but no he fucking wants all of us to force ourselves to eat it or starve #ok im done sorry lol #vent

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nishikiace · 8 months

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Request:

ftm!toji being found and taken in like a stray by dom!m!reader

reader treating him like royalty and allowing him to live far from his previous job of killing

(chubbier dadbod toji due to his new lifestyle)

some breeding kink to get him pregnant with megumi

anon im so sorry i accidentally deleted your request by fucking up my draft 😭 im literally stupid 🥴 those who saw it posted incomplete and broken, no you didn't

tysm for requesting it, i enjoyed writing it too much as u can tell.

ftm! bottom! fushiguro toji

Warnings: top!male!reader, dom!reader - amab anatomy, ftm!character - afab anatomy, nipple play, consensual groping, fingering, cunnilingus, breeding, creampie

p1 [p2] [p3 -tbc]

[masterlist]

you never thought that finding a bruised man asleep in the alley behind your house, would lead to you taking in a stray, rent-free..

(but you can't say you're complaining, you think, watching his dark shirt stretch across his fat tits as he yawns and stretches his arms.)

as much as I want to see this man bent over vacuuming my house and packing my bento, i doubt toji is a domestic god like that. but he more than makes up for it by bending over countertops, and giving you something better to eat every morning

waking up next to him is a soft affair. as youre making out with his sleep-swollen lips, play with his nipples and make his torso shake and curl into you. tease them all morning

and when he's making coffee for you before work, you should hug him from behind and sneak your hands into his tight shirt. grope the softness of his stomach and sensitive chest and kiss the back his neck. he doesn't outwardly react but his red ears and perking buds give him away. roll and pinch his nipples under his shirt while hugging him from behind and force him into a gasping nipple orgasm before you leave the house

weekends with toji are for spending time together too. bring him to the market to help you carry all the groceries with his wide biceps. lead him around with an around around his thin, firm waist, squeezing at the thick fat and corded muscles underneath. buy him flowers and feed him sweets, and when it's less crowded, slide your hand down to dip under his pants and hold onto the fat on his hips and ass

dilf-ication is real and it affects your loved ones

○○○

coming home to see this man laying on your couch is better than any homecooked meal. you walk closer and kneel in front of his spread legs, palming him through his loose boxers and nipping at his broad thighs

spank his ass and slap his thighs just to watch them jiggle with all that extra weight he's put on, in the comfort of your home and bank account. pull off his boxers and hook his knees over your shoulders

"oh f-fuck," toji groans, feeling his thighs lock around your head as you blow a soft breath over his wet folds. "nghh, hurry up."

he grabs your hair roughly with one hand and buries your face in between his legs, his other hand gripping tightly at the sofa to arch more into your mouth. your lips brush against his swollen pussy and you begin licking broad stripes from his ass to his clit. reaching the top, you purse your lips around the nub and suck tightly

toji lets out a wrecked sound, feeling his insides convulse. taking advantage of the moment, you thrust your fingers deep into his gushing cunt and scrape your knuckles against his walls, thumb rubbing at his asshole and mouth worshipping his fat clit

"a-ah! oh shit!" his hand in your hair aggressively digs in to drag your face into his pussy harder with each raw wail and fucked out groan. slick is running down your face and staining the sofa, gushing out with every clench

you pull back slightly, catching his labia with your teeth and pulling before allowing your teeth to scrape over the hood of his clit. feeling him shudder, you pull back the hood and begin rapidly flicking your tongue on the exposed nub

toji swears with a shaky, high pitched voice and stutters into your face, thick stomach clenching and shuddering as he rides out his orgasm on your wet face. the noises he makes have you burying deeper for more

debauched and sweaty, this man is laid out on your couch like a king, thighs open and shining with spit, fat skin creasing between his thigh meat and hip bones that you want to bite on to

○○○

toji has gotten too used to his domesticity and the security of his new life with you - he would want to lock it down. so he likes to lock his thighs around your hips when you fuck, to push your cock deeper into his womb, right before you can cum. the thought of you impregnating him feels so good he gets lightheaded. hold on to his belly when you breed him to really awaken that animalistic urge

a guttural groan leaves toji's lips as you set up a ruthless pace into his hole. his feet curl around your back and thighs twitch every time you slam back into his drooling cunt. you're filling him so thoroughly he can barely think

he's demanding, "fuck me harder" while his muscular body shakes in your grip. the sheets rustle beneath you and bed creaks and bashes into the wall with powerful thrusts. breathless groans and choking breaths leave his gaping lips and he just knows he will be bruised and swollen everywhere tomorrow

you switch to a staccato rhythm, skin grinding his clit and making him arch into you with a gasp. he's getting closer, eyes rolling back into his skull, feeling your cockhead kissing his cervix with a new pace

"s-shit, I'm gonna come!" toji moans loudly. his body tenses as a wave of squirt gushes around your cock. you bottom out your thrusts as he cums hard enough to rattle his body, walls milking you deep

"aah, m-make me fucking pregnant! fill me up!" you push your cum into his womb and claim his red-hot, swollen cunt

"nngh fuck!" he gasps, dizzy at the semen and squirt overflowing from his hole and bubbling and spilling out all over the bedsheets

"d-don't move yet," toji smirks once he catches his breath, hole fluttering around your cock. "I want it to take."

your bedroom forever has a dented wall you hide with the bedframe

#top male reader #dom reader #male reader #bottom character #ftm character #x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #anime x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #nishikiace replies #nishikiace s #nishikiace writes

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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hi pookie can I get an mcyt with reader that bakes?? Like they'll just come in on stream and give mcyts a fucking platter of baked goods lol

-🎀 anon

oooo yes omg!! thank you 🎀 anon! <3 got the whole gang in here for this one LOL

MCYT ; "in my baker era"

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, foolish gamers, slimecicle, karl jacobs, & cellbit

warnings ; language, mentions of drugs

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

"Hi y/n- oh, thank you, darling!'

literally has the widest smile on his face

shows off the goods to the stream

"do these have any drugs in them? me n charlie are trying to sell drugs, y/n. we need more stock"

you hear charlie screaming through tommys headphones, "we need the grain, y/n! we need THE GRAIN"

bro is munching away on those cookies holy shit

he feeds chat as well dw

TUBBO

"Oh, hi y/n/n. wh- ohmygosh, thank you!"

smiles and gives you a little hug before showing off the goodies to stream & his friends

"look what y/n made me! I can't wait to try these" He smiles looking back at you

"new recipe, tell me if you like them"

"will do!"

he gives you a thumbs up as he shoves his mouth full of the cupcakes

safe to say he's a fan of the birthday cake flavored cupcakes

RANBOO

"Hey babe! Oh, thank you!"

does a whole 360 of the plate for chat 💀💀💀💀

"Oh my God, these are so fucking good"

"guys, y/ns in their baking era. can you write an album about that? please become Taylor swift for us"

"BAHHAHAHAH"

literally takes a picture as per usual and posts it to Twitter LMAO

he gets some fans to send you recipes you should try for a serious baking stream LMAO

BADLINU

"Hey love- oh, hi!"

all smiles and shit, he swears you have a sixth sense to know when people are hungry

"guys, y/n made me some bisexuality cake!" He giggles, showing off the tri-colored cake on the plate

he was making a video with harry, tubbo & tommy so everyone had their facecams on

it was like a three tier cake you made and cut out a slice for him

the inside was just the bi flag and the outside was plain white with some fun icing piper testing

he tries it and it's SO MOIST AND SOFT IT IS PERFECT.

there's just 5 raw minutes of him telling you how amazing this fucking cake is LMAO

QUACKITY

"Hey, I'm streaming ba- ohmyfuckinggodthankyou!!"

does a 360 of the plate for the camera

"Holy shit these look so fucking good, thank you so much, y/n"

he's literally just streaming on the qsmp with roeir and fit and he like games and eats the damn cookies at the same time LMFAO

"Dude I feel like I'm high, these are so good, what's in this shit?"

"cocaine"

"WHAT!? DID YOU JUST DRUG ME? GUYS, MY PARTNER DRUGGED ME, HELP"

you're just playing into the bit dw

best red velvet cookies he's ever eaten

CELLBIT

"Hey darling, what's up?"

you hand him the little strawberry shortcake and he just looks at you like 😍😍

turns to his stream and shoves the plate up to the camera all happy like "Oh my God look what they made for me!"

he eats the entirety of it on stream and asks you a bunch of questions

like how you made it, where you found the recipe, etc

he shares it with you too 💔🫶

NIHACHU

"Hi honey! Ooo, what's this called?"

"Chocolate mousse. it's a little thick because it's my first time making it but let me know if it's good"

she holds that little glass like it's her child

she tries it with a tiny spoon you gave her and she's like "oh my God this is amazing, y/n/n"

shows it off to the friends she's streaming with too

"send them more recipes guys, I wanna be spoiled with sweets!"

"thank you nikis viewers!! love you all"

FOOLISH GAMERS

when I tell you this man's face LIGHTS UP.

"you made me fudge? oh my God! I love you"

literally spends the next 15 minutes talking to you and gobbling the fudge down

"since when do you make fudge??"

"since I wanted to try" you shrug

"you should totally make some more... when you're not busy and if you want to!"

"Thank you y/n! everyone say thank you!"

KARL JACOBS

"Hi babe! Oh my God, thank you!!"

literally jumping around

you made him a chocolate cake, and the icing was multicolored and you made sure to make it like karl themed basically

it was so cute omg

"guys!! look what they made me, I love my partner so fucking much!"

gives you multiple kisses before he gulps it down lmaooo

SLIMECICLE

"Oh, hi y/n! thank you so much"

does a 360 for stream

"when did you find time to make this? I thought you were at work????"

"special treat" you shrug

you watch him run across the qsmp and go to ems bakery to sit inside and eat it 😭

he keeps you on stream for a while cause chat loves you n stuff 🫶🫶

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit x reader #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #tubbo x reader #nihachu x reader #cellbit x reader #foolish gamers x reader #karl jacobs x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #charlie slimecicle x reader #slimecicle x reader #niki nihachu x reader #freddie badlinu x reader

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naomiarai · 2 months

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beomgyu — things he would say during sex

— “feels good huh? too bad you’re not cumming tonight”

— “can i fuck your tits? please?”

— “soobin can’t fuck you like this, can he?”

— “i don’t know any whore who gets cock”

— “no cock in your pussy tonight, i’ll consider mouth if you behave”

— “go on, tell me how you want it tonight”

— “deeper? fuck, don’t whine when you can’t take it”

— “i’ll make it better than last night, baby”

— “don’t fucking do that, i’ll cum on spot”

— “come on now, spread those legs, i’ll get that cunt wet in no time”

— “ride me, ride me harder, make a fucking mess”

— “got a pretty little dream last night, should i tell you or show you?”

— “too much? gonna tell me to stop yet? no you fucking won’t”

— “you wanna take control today? let’s see you fucking try”

— “nothing underneath? naughty girl”

— “daddy wants you to squirt in his mouth, yeah?”

— “you like it when i get rough with you don’t you? that’s my cockslut”

— “holy shit, i’m not stopping until you’re fucking shaking”

— “ass up, on the bed, right now”

— “you don’t even know half the shit i’d do to you right now”

— “if you bite down one more fucking time, i’m ripping those clothes off”

— “eyes on me princess, whose pussy am i eating out of?”

— “you taste so fucking good, i could do this forever”

— “gosh i’ve never been this hard, what are you doing to me?”

— “tell me, how hard do you wanna be fucked tonight?”

— “i could get drunk off your scent”

— “you’ve got a very talented mouth don’t you? put it to use”

— “i fucking love these tits”

— “i really need to shut that pretty mouth of yours don’t i?”

— “should’ve taken you raw long ago, you feel so good”

— “be a good girl and strip for me, will ya?”

— “you’re making it real hard for me to take it slow”

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pinkiealexie · 2 months

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Guardian Angel...?! ✟ Adam

NOTE :

I haven't wrote in forevah so these are simple headcanons (pretty much a one shot just in bullet points) of Adam dealing with being the guardian angel of a modern day teenager. Our beloved reader! Reader is in high school and very much hispanic/latino coded. THIS IS PLATONIC!!!

WARNING(S) : Adam being his own warning, average teenager crap, short and messy, not proof read

Adam was NOT thrilled to learn that he'd have to be 'babysitting' some loser named "Y/N". All he could do was try to bitch and moan his way out of it to Sera but his complaints fell on deaf ears as there was no getting out of it. I quote "All angels must do it at some point while they're in heaven." Sera spoke with a stern tone. Psshhhhh, he knew that, but he didn't think that meant it would also apply to him. Now he didn't have as much time to do his chicks and gigs but it is what it is. From what he remembers about being a guardian angel, all he had to do was...

1. Protect them

2. Get them to avoid sin

3. Guide them from Point A to Point B

That shouldn't be TOO hard.

✟ First time back down on Earth since he died and the first thing he sees is you screaming "KILL YOURSELF" at someone in voice chat. Damn did you scream louder than the bitch he fucked last week. Already he wanted to leave but he had to stay with you for at least a couple times a week. Not only that but your room was a MESS! Don't you know sloth is a sin?? Empty bottles of water are scattered everywhere and your desk was a mess, things were collecting dust, and your bed is so undone like you were just raw dogging someone or being raw dogged

✟ After the first day of watching over you he could already tell that you were far from the path of god and possibly make him go insane from boredom so his genius little mind thought that if he was going to do this, then he was going to make it fun for himself

✟ Adam began to purposely knock things over in your house, rearrange items around, and call your out your name only for you to see no one. He found it hilarious that your seemed to piss your pants and think your house was possessed, he especially loved doing these things after you decided to watch any type of horror media at night or if you were home by yourself

✟ The jokes and laughs got boring very quickly since your reaction was always the same. After a bit he remembered that there was no rule that he couldn't show himself to the kid. Sure it should be obvious and common sense to not reveal yourself as all the other guardian angels never did it but that's an imaginary rule so it's not an official rule. Therefore, he isn't breaking ANY of the rules

You grumbled in pain as you had woken up with a bad migraine in the morning, the only upside was that your mom let you stay home from school today. Speaking of your mother, she had made you some caldo de res before heading to work so you'd feel better along with a cold can of sprite. As you were about to eat some of the caldo you saw the vase of a plant slightly move from the corner of your eye which paused your eating. Ever since last month your house had some creepy ghost shit happening and you were sure that you'd end up in a padded white room if you told anyone anything.

You decided not to pay it any attention as you took one last bite of your warm caldo until the vase fell off the shelf and crashed onto the floor.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE DEMON!"

You felt silly for shouting at an empty space in your home but you had enough of whatever spirit was haunting you, and your headache was not making it any better.

After a few seconds of silence you heard an very offended voice from behind you "Okay first of all, I'm not a fucking demon, second, don't yell at empty spaces unless you want people to think that you're a schizophrenie."

Were you dreaming?! Was this you finally loosing your shit from those all nighters? You turned around and almost broke your neck to look up at this guy...this dude was like 3x your height if not more!

You were stunned, you blinked once then twice then just put your empty dish in the sink.

"I need to…nap."

As you walked upstairs, you brought two fingers to forehead, your stomach, your right left then right shoulder, and up to your lips in a prayer of “En el nombre del Padre y del Hijo y del Espíritu Santo. Amén.”

✟ You later confirmed that you weren't dreaming and this was in fact real after waking up to his smug toothy smile. It being day only a few hours ago and it now it was pitch black out side. His bright glowing neon yellow face being the only source of light in the room which also allowed you to see that his elbows were resting on the crinkled and wrinkled sheets of your bed as he held his face in his both of his hands.

"Sup kid, so is your mom single or what?"

#adam x reader #alexie.writes #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel adam #adam hazbin hotel #adam #platonic #headcanons #oneshot #x reader #hazbin hotel #adam hazbin hotel x reader

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dilfl0v3rss · 10 months

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boxer!todo who trains almost every damn day. always wanting to be at his top physique at all times.

boxer!todo who lets you come with him to every training session or workout at the gym so you don’t get lonely.

boxer!todo who is undefeated due to his raw strength and ability to adjust to anyone’s fighting style. he’s beaten men bigger and faster than him because he’s just that good.

boxer!todo who doesn’t allow you to come to some of his fights. not wanting you to see how gruesome it could get in the ring.

“papa why notttt” you whined, feet stomping on the ground as you followed your boyfriend around the house. “cause i can tell how it’s gonna go. ion want you seeing all the blood and bruises ma.” he said calmly as he bent down to grab a water from the fridge. “but he was talkin so much shit at the press conference. talkin bout how he’s the best and how you never gon amount to him. wish i could fuck that nigga up myself.” you mumbled your last sentence, making todo chuckle as he watched how upset you were getting. you took the insults worse than him, and he was the one getting them. “don’t worry mama ima whoop his ass. jus need you t’stay here when the day comes while i go handle my business, aight?”

boxer!todo who spends his day offs taking you out or chilling with you at home.

boxer!todo who spoils you rotten with most of his money. if there’s was something you liked, expect it to be at your doorstep within the next week.

boxer!todo who makes sure you always have a good view of him at the fights he lets you attend. loving how you scream for him when he does a move he’s been working on or how you’re quick to lift him up when he takes a particularly hard hit.

“cmon pa we eat those”

“you got it baby hit him in the body”

“focus todo! you not done yet!”

“uhh huhhh he can’t fuck wit you baby”

he loved hearing your pretty voice.

boxer!todo who made sure to give you a reward for keeping him in check during ever match.

“you my good little motivator ain’t you mama?” his thrusts were quick, large hand pressed down lightly on your stomach so he could feel himself moving inside of you. “mhmm. you d-did so good daddy” you moaned. todo smiled as he began fucking you deeper, making your back arch off the bed as he caressed your cheek with his other hand. “did good ‘cause i had you there to cheer me on. love makin my pretty girl proud. you proud of me ma? lemme hear you say it.” todo didn’t care about how anyone else felt about him, but you. always seeking your validation after a good fight. “m’so proud of you. there’s n-nobody better papa.” “uhh huh. nobody.”

boxer!todo who also fucks you so good when he’s not happy with his performance after barely winning a fight that should’ve been “light work” for him. feeling that since he couldn’t give his all in the ring he’ll make up for it in the bedroom.

boxer!todo who never went out partying after his fights. always choosing to relax at home with you rather than be in a room with a bunch of drunk guys and bitches with their asses out.

boxer!todo who has you wear his chain during every match. you bought him the chain as a gift when he won his first fight as a pro boxer. it wasn’t the most expensive, but it was still worth a lot. you saved up for months to get it for him and he almost cried when you showed it to him.

“you didn’t have to-” “yes i did. you been working so hard and you deserve it. gon be the best there ever was baby” todo’s eyes began to water as he let you put the chain around his neck. it fit nice, sitting right over his strong pecs. “cant wear it while i fight so ima need you t’keep it safe f’me. that okay ma?” you nodded your head before giving him a passionate kiss on the lips. “i don’t mind wearin it as long as you continue to think of me” todo smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulled your head into his broad chest. “always.”

boxer!todo who keeps a level head for most of his fights, never really letting the trash talk at the conferences get to him. he saw no point in trying to get a rise out of his opponent and felt that they should feel the same way, but they never did. there was only one time he let his anger take over and it nearly got him disqualified.

“a.t how do you feel about your ability to win this fight” the reporter said. todo kept his face serious as he thought about his answer. “well i been training real hard, learning some new skills. i feel like if i keep my head straight and fall through with my plans i should be able to win this thing.” he toyed with his chain as he spoke, not really thinking anything of this little event and just wanting to get home to his pretty girlfriend. the reporter asked his opponent the same question, and while he answered he noticed todo wasn’t paying attention to him at all. still playing with the gold around his neck. he noticed that it was the same chain he’d see you wearing when he would come to scout todo’s matches. a smirk planted on his face before he uttered something he’d come to regret. “yea i know ima win. and after i do, ima bring me a honey home. might even give his little girlfriend a taste since i heard she got a thing for winners.” loud gasps immediately filled the room as well as your living room while you watched the whole thing live on the edge of your couch.

everyone waited for todo to retaliate, but he didn’t. he kept calm as a small chuckle flew from his lips. holding his head down as he began to crack his knuckles. “we’ll see.” was all he said before the press moved on with their next question. everyone thought he was fine. his opponent even slumped down in his chair a little more as he thought his insult did absolutely nothing, but you knew the truth. todo only cracked his knuckles when he was angry. really angry. usually only doing so to keep himself from punching or breaking something. when he got home that night he acted as if everything was fine, but you could tell he thought about it all the time. by the way he’d hit the punching bag with a little more force than usual or how he nearly sent his trainer flying out the ring before walking towards his locker room. todo was pissed.

when the day came he made you promise not to come to or watch the fight. the seriousness in his tone made you worry, but you fell through with your promise because it meant so much to him. when todo came home it was a lot earlier than you’d imagine. his fights usually took thirty minutes to an hour, but at this rate his opponent couldn’t have lasted longer than the first round. “you win?” voice small as you watched your boyfriend quietly walk straight towards the bedroom. “mhm…” he walked into the room, closing the door behind him. you scrambled to your phone to see what could have him acting like this. a quiet gasp left your lips as you watched clips of the very short fight. like you thought, the poor guy didn’t last the first round. receiving blow after deadly blow from your boyfriend before eventually getting punched so hard in the face that he flew to the other side of the ring. “mama get in here! need you right now.” you smiled before taking a deep breath and skipping your way to your bedroom.

boxer!todo who fucked you the best when he was hot and jealous after a fight.

#aoi todo x black y/n #aoi todo x black reader #aoi todo x black!reader #aoi todo × black!reader #jjk aoi todo x black reader #aoi todo x reader #aoi todo × black reader #aoi x black reader #jjk aoi todo x black!reader #aoi todo smut #jjk aoi todo smut #jjk aoi todo x black y/n

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fourmoony · 1 year

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𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐩 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐲

𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⭒⭒⭒

𝟏𝟖+ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐧𝐢. 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭. 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟. 𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞.

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦.

𝟏.𝟐𝐤 - masterlist

p.s. my requests are open. pls give me inspiration.

⭒⭒⭒

"This feels dirty."

James laughed. Rosy cheeked, eyes gleaming, he full blown belly laughed. I scrunched my nose, eyes squinting as I looked up at him where he hovered over me, toned muscles popping, hands on either side of my head. He stopped in time to press a quick kiss to the tip of my nose, pushed us both a little further up the bed, jaw ticking with the movement.

"That's because it is dirty, baby." He said with finality, cheeky smile gracing his lips.

I supposed I couldn't argue with that. We were naked, sweaty, definitely crossing into full blown voyeurism in my shared dorm room, not a single curtain was closed. In fairness, we'd been in too much of a hurry. But then a quickie had turned into a lazy afternoon spent wrapped around each other whilst everyone we knew was enjoying the rare Scotland Sun too much to be cooped up in their dorm rooms. So really, there was no reason for one of us to not think ahead and pull the curtains around my four poster bed.

I made a displeased noise at his lack of movement, James seemingly happy to stare down at me all day with that familiar shit eating grin, "Yeah, but doing it here feels dirty."

"We do it in my dorm room all the time." James countered.

I rolled my eyes, "Thats different. Can you move?"

James nodded, messy black hair falling over his eyes, "Sure."

He pulled away completely, I chased him. Evil boy.

"You know that's not what I meant." I pouted, clambering onto his lap where he'd leant himself comfortably against my headboard and was smiling like the cat who got the cream.

His hands smoothed along my waist, eyes looking up at me through hooded lids, "You need to be more direct, love."

His thighs opened, spreading my own legs until I leant back a little, on full display. His eyes gleamed, his smile turned from cocky to excited, his toned legs holding me exactly where he wanted. Quidditch had done a lot of things to scrawny first year James Potter's body, puberty had done the rest. Whoever was to thank five years later, I didn't care, just enjoyed the fact that James was stronger, thicker, able to do something like move my entire body with just his thighs.

"You know I like it when you're the direct one." I blushed.

James did know that. In fact, he relished in it. There was something about surrendering control to him that made me feel safe, as well as hot and flustered. He never went too far, always knew exactly what to do, how to turn me to putty in his hands.

He kissed me, soft and sweet, for a minute, dirty and wet the longer he went on until I was writhing on his lap, cool air the only thing even close to touching me where I needed it most, legs still clamped open at James' leisure. He'd always said he liked me like that, desperate for him, whiny, it's how he'd known he had me the first time. Every time after, in his eyes, was just a bonus.

"Up." He mumbled, grabbing my hips, giving my legs a little room to move, until I was the one hovering over him, crowding his space, hands in his hair.

I could feel the tip of him as he slid it along me, front to back, repeating the motion twice before he guided me down onto him.

I smiled, dazed and content, relishing in the way he felt inside of me. Thick and filling and entirely too much. James clouded my every thought, every judgement, every breath. He had for years now, but having him like this, raw and honest and downright dirty, it only intensified those feelings.

"That's it, baby." His voice was strained, head tipped back, hands tight on my hips.

He'd leave marks, I hoped.

He gave us both a minute, a breath, though not long enough to form a coherent thought before he picked his legs up, feet flat on the mattress, the tops of his thighs pressing me forward into his chest. I moaned, because even when I was on top, James still had an animalistic need to be in control. Not that I'd minded a single bit.

He slammed up, sending me jolting into his skin, face buried in his neck, arms clinging onto him for balance. He was relentless in his pace, never slowing, never missing a beat, never fumbling or unsure. James Potter had stamina, that was for sure.

"Jamie," I moaned into his skin, wet with the afternoon's exertions, fingers gripping at his shoulders, "Jamie, it feels so good."

His hands, calloused and oh so big, gripped at my ass cheeks, holding me up just enough for him to slam upward. His left hand drew back, leaving a stinging slap to the skin, sending me further into a daze. His grunts, groans, and pants had me moaning in return, spewing absolute nonsense but just desperate to make noise, any noise, of appreciation.

He didn't falter, didn't stop, he kept his barging pace, even when I clenched down around him, dizzy with the feeling of him, surrounded by him - his skin, his scent, the beautiful noises falling from kiss worn lips - he kept going, strong and steady, fast, borderline maniacal until I was a writhing, screaming mess on top of him.

"C'mon, Angel," His voice was strained, waiting for me before he allowed himself to finish - ever the gentleman - "Let it out."

I reached down between us, frenzied, manic, desperate for the feeling he always, without a shadow of a fucking doubt, brought me, moving in tight circles.

When the pleasure got too much, I bit into James' shoulder, strong and muscled, muffling my own sounds as he continued his pace, his encouragements, his own voice stuttering in pleasure at the feeling of my teeth on his salty skin.

I saw stars when I came, my muscles turning to mush, slumped against James as he stilled too, jaw slack, head tilted back, eyes lost in their sockets. I smiled up at him lazily, catching my breath, our bodies stuck together with sweat. James Potter never failed to take my breath away. He was so beautiful, so caring, so generous. He loved fully, gave as good as he got. He was an angel. Well...

"You okay?" He asked, when he found himself able to speak again. I could feel the uncomfortable drip of him escaping between my thighs where we were joined, still. My skin was slick, hair plastered to my neck and forehead. My joints hurt, my breath was ragged. But I was the best I'd felt in weeks. I smiled up at him, "I'm great."

He chuckled softly, clearly being aware of the slippery problem between us, too. His eyes gleamed with mischief again, strong hands moving me until I was on my back, our bodies separated.

The loss felt debilitating when we'd spent all afternoon that way, but the look in James' eyes read he wasn't done yet.

"James Potter reporting for clean up duty." He said, mock saluting me before pressing soft, wet kisses down my sternum.

This time, it was me who belly laughed, hands in his messy black hair, legs kicked up over his shoulders.

"Now this," James grinned up at me, chin pressed against my naval, "Is downright dirty."

I didn't have time to respond.

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stardew-shitposterino · 5 months

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Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they deal with their secret crush on the farmer

———-——————————

BEHOOOOLD! I’m kind of back but I’m not because I have a job and feel tired most of the time. I still need to get used to adult life. Anyway, here are the bachelors and how they deal with having a fat crush on you, you cutesy farmer person covered in filth!

Contents might be a bit NSFW so MINORS…you know what not to do *fights them off with a stick*

Enjoy my brainrot 🍓🥰

Sam:

-Sammy is a cute little guy, almost like a dog wagging it’s tail when they see their owner.

-he is SO BAD at hiding it

-he will dream about you two jamming on a big stage together. In his ideal world, you two are a successful duo who make noise rock (kind of like the white stripes minus the weird siblings or married controversy)

-Sam will write songs about you. It’s not intentional per say, and he thinks he really sucks at writing love songs, but it just happens whenever he has to think about you. The words just start flowing.

-he might or might not have had some steamy shower fantasies about you…while in the shower. Jodie keeps complaining about the water bill being unusually high 👀

-yet, Sam is usually not too horny when he is in love with you. He is more gushy and daydreamy than anything

Sebastian:

-homeboy works with nightcore versions of love songs to cope with his longing

-he isn’t the type to show his feelings so openly, so no one really notices his crush on you. Maybe Sam, but well, he is Seb’s best bud. Of course he can tell

-He notices how his sleep has improved since having a crush on you. He willingly goes to bed earlier to have some time to imagine scenarios of you two

-just you and him together on his cool ass motorcycle, driving into the night and ending it with a passionate kiss (sounds familiar?)

-well,,, let’s just say Seb is increasingly horny since having a crush on you. Before, he was almost certain he is some sort of asexual, but nope 😃 he’s healthy and extremely down bad for the filthy farmer who eats raw fish out of the pond 🥰

-what I mean by horny? Uhhh… he didn’t really need to rely on certain websites to satisfy his needs, that’s for sure 👀

Harvey:

-Harvey is a good man. A very good man

-god bless his soul 😫

-Harv isn’t the type to have crushes easily…I can’t believe it either, considering his crush on Maru who is way younger than him 💀

-but in my head, he isn’t the type to be all lovey dovey over someone. That’s why he’s so bad at hiding it. But you don’t really notice. You just suspect it but it could also be his usual anxiety lol

-it happened anyway😎 and he doesn’t know how to cope. At all.

-he has to think about you at all times, especially when he looks at the empty jars of delicious pickles you’ve made him

-This man is usually collected, but now?! He forgets everything, can’t even form a comprehensible sentence at times when his mind is busy thinking about a romantic picknick date with a lovely farmer

-Harvey’s libido is pretty much a dead beat horse 💀 but now he even feels the desire to do some nasty nasty at times. It’s still pretty tame, he’s a gentleman through and through, but wild for him to have those feelings and longings after what feels like decades. He’s not mad at it. He has felt low-key dead inside for so long so this is very exciting and he’s eager to explore this side of him…despite being anxious 😭

Elliott:

-bet your ass he’s the prince of crushes

-he is very dedicated and welcomes those refreshing feelings with a kiss

-feeling better than usual AND having inspiration to write ?! SIGN HIM UP

-he will use every chance he can get to talk to you, maybe even get you drunk (in a non creepy way) because he likes when you’re unapologetically authentic and let loose. It makes him feel more in touch with your soul (or some shit idk I’m not a poet)

-Elliott is NOT SUBTLE

-you practically know from the start that he has the hots for you, but it’s kinda funny seeing him try to pretend it’s not that way…if you can even call that pretending not to be 😭

- his passion doesn’t end at his artistry. This guy will spend a lot of time in his shower thinking about what could be, or sitting at the docks at night just staring at the sea (he’s NOT doing anything nasty in public, peeps. Don’t get it twisted)

-I can also see him recreate a romantic bedroom date he’d love to have with you…but it’s just him 🤷🏼‍♀️ self care king 👑

Shane:

-like Harvey: HE CANNOT COPE!

-he hasn’t felt like this since high school. Every other encounter with potential partners was surface level and only based on sexual satisfaction

-so caring about you, thinking about what makes you happy and how he could be the reason you smile every day, that’s a lot for him

-as stupid as it sounds, he spirals and becomes low-key miserable over it. Give this man a 101 lesson on how to process emotions 😭

-despite the constant anxiety he feels, he low-key enjoys it. It’s kind of hopeless as well as pointless in his honest opinion, but there is this believe, that 0.00001% chance (in his mind) that he could turn his life around and be happy with you, married and maybe have a child of his own one day

-but that’s wishful thinking, riiiiiiight? So what does a self loathing piece of alcoholic man do instead of making a move? Yeah, self pleasure even more than usual, to get at least a bit of serotonin and the willpower to get his shit together, at least for you if it isn’t for him. He’s pretty rough with it too (ouch, unless you’re into that)

-sorry bros but him having a crush is not really all that cute. He’s my cutie pie, but let’s be real: him dealing with those feelings he tried to shut off for so long will be tragic in a way. He’s battling his inner demons here. So yeah… :(

Alex:

-my man, my maaaaan 🥰

-he has earned a soft spot in my heart, bless his soul

-so Alex has a crush on you from the start, it’s basically canon

-can he show his feelings? Yes! Can he do that in a way that can be read as the feelings he tries to get across to you? NO!

-low-key bullying is his love language 🥰

-at least in the beginning. He’s a bit anxious and fears he isn’t good enough for you, so he doesn’t try to be authentic. Being the jock jerk everyone expects him to be gets a reaction out of you and that’s better than nothing, right?

-he’s neither the poetic nor the intellectual type, so he doesn’t process his emotions by writing them down or putting them into words. Just imagine him going about his work-out routine, just thinking about your beautiful smile and rocking bod while sweating like a hog

-Alex and quiet ? Yes that’s possible. I imagine him to go quieter than usual since having a crush on you. He processes everything internally and that takes a lot of time for him as he usually just shrugs off his emotions and doesn’t try to brood too much on them. But now?! He can’t but blush in silence as he just imagines how soft and small your hands must be next to his (yours are way more impressive than his and calloused to the gods, but let him have this moment)

-when it comes to being nasty…Alex is a serial romantic. We know that he probably was the lady’s man back in school so he probably got some action one way or another. In other words, man has the libido of a teen that just hit puberty 💀

-despite being quite horny, he was able to manage to just do it every other day. Now, he cannot even get out of bed in the morning before doing it as you pester his dreams and make his hormones go crazy first thing in the morning…so many nice boxer shorts were lost along the way 🫡

-he also did his own laundry for the first time during that period lmfao

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv shane #sdv bachelors #sdv Alex #sdv Sam #sdv Elliott #sdv Harvey #sdv sebastian #sdv headcanons #stardew valley harvey #stardew valley shane #Stardew valley Sam #stardew valley sebastian #Stardew valley Elliott #Stardew valley Alex

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zepskies · 8 months

Text

Strong as Blood - Part 1

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Summary: After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out?

(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)

AN: This two-part fic can be read as stand-alone, but it’s really a bonus sequel to Break Me Down!

Word Count: 4,500

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Angst, fluff, and a smutty ending.

To find the chronological reading order for the series, check out the series masterlist. ⤵️

💚 Break Me Down

Part 1: “Probably Temporary”

Make no mistake. Ben was still a terrible cook.

He’d sort of gotten the hang of the grill though, even if he technically wasn’t supposed to be smoking meat on the apartment’s second-floor balcony.

You peeked out at your boyfriend through the sliding glass door to make sure he was still doing okay. He caught you though, and shot you a wink.

He was very proud of his grill.

We’re so gonna get in trouble with the homeowner’s association, you thought, but you couldn’t help a smile. You obliged him when he beckoned you over, and you slid the door open.

“Almost done? I think our neighbors are going to complain again,” you said with a laugh. Ben rolled his eyes.

“It’s a bit of smoke, not a fucking forest fire,” he groused. “Let those uppity fucks complain. Bet’cha they won’t have the balls to say shit to my face if I go across the street for a little visit.”

You soothed him with a hand along his shoulder. It also gave you an excuse to check on his progress. You considered this episode to be a success, considering the balcony wasn’t up in flames this time. And the steaks actually looked good. Not brittle pieces of charcoal, but not raw and bleeding either.

“I think those are done,” you advised. Ben followed your gaze and nodded. He used his bare hands to turn the foil-wrapped potatoes, just because he could.

“Why don’t you take ‘em in while I finish up these potatoes,” he said. “How’s the rest coming?”

“Good. I’m about to take the casserole out of the oven,” you said with a nod. Meanwhile, he placed the steaks in a glass dish that been sitting near the open grill. He handed it to you, but you almost dropped the steaks when the hot glass burned your hands.

You hissed in pain, while Ben caught the dish with both hands. His brows furrowed, first in surprise, then in thinly veiled concern when he looked over at you. He reached out for your shoulder.

“Damn,” he said. “Didn’t seem that hot…you okay?”

You looked up from your stinging hands and sighed at him in exasperation, but you couldn’t get that mad at him. He sometimes couldn’t gauge things like this when it came to what he could handle, versus what your normal human body could.

“Yeah. I’ll just break out the aloe. First, let me get some oven mitts,” you replied, but your answering smile retained some good humor. Ben quirked an apologetic smile of his own. He decided to follow you into the kitchen, taking the steaks in himself.

You grabbed your favorite green oven mitts and carefully took out the veggie casserole. It smelled delicious, but Ben still peered at it over your shoulder when you placed it on the counter.

“Don’t you look at my casserole sideways,” you quipped. “You need to eat more veggies.”

He leveled you with a dry look. “You saying I’m getting out of shape?”

“God forbid,” you gasped, playfully jabbing at his firm abs with a mitt-covered hand. “I’m just saying, your super metabolism is compensating for a lot of booze and Taco Bell.”

Ben rose a brow at your cheekiness. He drew closer behind you, trapping you against the counter with one hand braced on the edge, and the other sliding up your jean-clad hip.

“You’ve got some nerve. I don’t talk shit about the stash of Twix bars in your nightstand, do I?” he remarked. He nipped at your ear, making you flinch and giggle. His beard was also tickling your neck.

“You’re peeping in my nightstand now? How dare you,” you teased. He snorted in response.

“Please. Your purple vibrator isn’t exactly a fucking mystery to me,” he retorted. You felt his smirk growing against your neck. “Might wanna keep it away from the chocolate though. That could get messy…unless you want it to be.”

Your body shook with the effort of containing your laughter. He was so fucking gross.

“Don’t you need to check on the potatoes?” you asked. “I don’t want to have to pressure wash the balcony again.”

Ben made a sound of agreement, but was sure to swat you on the ass before he went. You jolted, but you just shook your head with a blush and a smile.

It had been over a year since you and Ben had moved in together. Already you’d had your first fight as a true couple, your first Christmas, and so many other challenges, large and small, that had all come to solidify one thing for you.

You were happy. Maybe for the first time in your life.

It just came with some…small caveats, you reflected, as you reached into the fridge to find the jar of aloe vera. Before you slathered some onto your hands, you realized they were no longer red, and they didn’t even sting anymore.

“What the hell?” you muttered. You put back the jar and rested a hand on your hip.

Well, maybe you hadn’t burned yourself as bad as you thought.

With that oddity still in your mind, you pulled on your oven mitts again and took up the casserole with the intention of bringing it to the dining table. Admittedly, you were a bit distracted. You didn’t remember about the raised ledge in the doorway to the dining room until it was too late.

You tripped, and though you managed to make it to the table, you gasped when you broke right through the wood.

The table just seemed to give up when you hit it, cracking in half, and sending you tumbling to the floor with hot casserole heaped on top. You were still stunned when Ben tore back inside. His green eyes were wide, his brows furrowed as he took in the state of you on the floor with the broken table.

“What the hell happened?” he asked, though he bent down to help you up. He checked you for injuries, but both of you found nothing.

“I’m okay,” you said, a bit shakily. “I tripped, that’s all.”

Ben’s brows raised as he looked from you to the shards of the table. He knocked on the wood surface.

“Cheap piece of shit. Where’d you get this thing?” he asked.

You flickered at a smile and admitted, “IKEA.”

Ben shook his head. “We really need to broaden your palate.”

You insisted you were all right. But he insisted, without words, on checking you over again. His hands brushed down your shoulders and arms, your hands and neck.

He held your face in his hands, and he let out a deep sigh. You just smiled up at him, though inside, you were hiding a bit of worry yourself.

That table hadn’t been cheap. It was solid pine wood.

But Ben seemed to believe you. He also seemed a bit exasperated.

“I should just layer you up in goddamn bubble wrap. The way you find ways to break yourself is beyond me,” he muttered. Your lips pursed.

“I resent that—”

“I’m sure you fucking do.”

“Besides,” you said, a smirk pulling at the corner of your mouth. “What a pain in the ass would it be to unwrap me?”

Ben huffed, even as his hands traveled down to wrap around your waist and pull you in close.

“True,” he smirked. “You’re already a pain in the ass as it is.”

You opened your mouth to mount an indignant protest, but he shut you up the only surefire way he knew how. His kiss was swift, deep, and left you humming into his mouth in surprise.

But you soon pulled back, brushing a thumb along his chin. “We’ve got to clean up this mess. And…did you get the potatoes?”

Ben thought for a moment, but then his mouth firmed into a line.

“Shit,” he muttered, and released you to run back to the grill.

That night, you stood barefooted in your nightgown and took a moment alone in the bathroom to breathe. And to think. And to test the strength in your hands, by bending one of Ben’s metal wrenches like it was a useless paper straw.

Okay, now you were panicking a bit.

What the fuck? you thought. You had only ever experienced super strength when you were on V24 (which you had not taken, let alone the permanent stuff).

But…if you thought about it, there had been one other time when you had felt this strong. And it had been when you were in the hospital, almost two years ago, after Vought Tower collapsed. You’d needed a surgery you might not have lived through. It was Ben’s actions that had saved you…after he donated his blood.

Unless he was somehow giving you transfusions without you knowing, there was only one other possibility you could think of for Ben’s DNA to somehow be in your system…

Holy shit, you thought. And you sat down on the closed toilet. Hard. Enough to dislodge a decorative dish that was perched on a shelf behind you. You gasped, but weren’t able to catch it before it hit the ground loudly. You winced and picked it up, even as you heard Ben’s steps approaching the bathroom.

“You okay?” he asked predictably, through the closed door.

“Fine!” you said, your voice too high. You cleared your throat and tried to normalize your voice. “I’m fine, just dropped something.”

“Christ. You going for a record today?” he remarked.

You rolled your eyes.

A few minutes later, you finished in the bathroom and tried to act as normal as possible as you slid into bed next to your boyfriend. He was watching TV, but he glanced over at you. You knew he was silently assessing you, seeing if you were really okay.

You gave him a smile and leaned over for a goodnight kiss. You attempted to be chaste, but he deepened it. He slid an arm around your waist and tilted his head, slipping his tongue between the seam of your lips.

You welcomed him at first…but a tremor of warning flashed in your mind, along with the persistent thought that had followed you from the bathroom.

Should I tell him?

You didn’t know why your inclination was to hold it in. There very well could be something wrong with you. But if your suspicions were true, then you wanted confirmation first.

“What’s the matter?” Ben asked. He’d pulled back, sensing your distraction. You came back to yourself.

“Nothing, just tired,” you said, stroking his chest over his shirt.

Ben looked into your eyes, his face more or less stoic. You saw the way he was trying to get a read on you though, like he didn’t quite believe you. You couldn’t blame him, but you could be very convincing when you needed to be.

He eventually nodded, letting you turn away from him to slip under the covers. Even though you felt the sting of your lie tingling unpleasantly down your spine.

You met Dr. Tonya Baker at her office in the Supe Affairs building. She’d been Vought’s top scientist, up until last year. After Stan Edgar’s death and the company’s collapse, the CIA recruited Dr. Baker.

You didn’t like her. Nor did you trust her, exactly, but she had assisted Dr. Vogelbaum when Becca Butcher came to him with a unique problem. Now, Dr. Baker was the only one left with the knowledge and resources to advise you.

And she was able to confirm your suspicions. She came back with lab results while you sat up on an examining table.

“You’re eleven weeks pregnant,” she informed you.

Even though you’d been somewhat expecting it, suspicion and knowing were very different things. You took in a shaking breath, and through your shock, you were smiling. Happy, and even relieved.

Until Dr. Baker spoke again.

“The super strength is probably temporary. A side effect of the fetus’s genetics. But, it’s also advantageous for you,” she said, adjusting her glasses. “This makes it much more likely that you’ll survive the birth.”

Your breath ceased at that thought, not to mention her clinical delivery.

“Always with that delightful bedside manner, Doctor,” you quipped. All of a sudden, you were feeling lightheaded.

Or maybe you were just freaking the fuck out.

When you got home that evening after work, Ben watched you.

He knew something was off with you the second you walked through the door, pale and pensive. Still, you flashed him a greeting and a smile that didn’t reach your eyes on your way to the bedroom.

So he followed you. And the fact that you didn’t even notice, even flinched when he dropped a hand on your shoulder, told him that you were more than just distracted. The last straw was when you walked into the dresser while glancing back at him. You hissed and shook out your sandle-clad foot.

Now, you were injury prone at the best of times, but this was a bit much, Ben thought.

“Geez, I didn’t even hear you,” you said, trying at a chuckle. “Normally you thud around in those combat boots like an elephant. We’re lucky no one lives below us—”

“What’s the matter with you?” Ben asked. He was never one to beat around the bush.

Your eyes widened a fraction; unease crept down your spine, but you gave him a quirk of your brow.

“Excuse me?”

“You fucking heard me,” he said. His gaze was hunter green, serious, and focused down on you.

“I’m fine, Ben—”

“No,” he snapped. “There’s something off with you.”

You bit your lower lip. It seemed your boyfriend knew you better than you thought. You’d had a plan though. You had wanted to wait until you had a moment to shake off your anxiety and focus on the good when you sat him down this evening.

But you should’ve known better. Ben was remarkably impatient, even when he didn’t know what he was in for.

And he got tired of waiting for your answer.

He changed tactics, reaching for your arms. His grip was firm, but gentle in brushing his thumbs back and forth across your skin. His mouth was in a line, and you caught the concern hiding under his furrowed brows.

“What’s so bad you can’t tell me?” he asked.

You looked up into his eyes. Despite yourself, you had to smile. I’m not playing fair, you realized.

“Okay, come ‘ere,” you said. You took his hand and led him to sit with you on the bed. Pulling his hand between both of yours into your lap, you sighed and thought about how you were going to say this.

After a moment, you got a burst of inspiration. You held up a waiting finger to him and went into the closet to pull out one of your 25-pound hand weights. It might as well have weighed a pound, for how light it felt. You brought it back to the bed, and Ben stared back at you quizzically.

“So…I didn’t get that table from IKEA,” you confessed. “It was solid wood, and I really did break straight through it.”

He rose a brow. “All right…”

You then showed him your newfound strength, by breaking the hand weight in half with your bare hands. His eyes widened, making you giggle a bit. You deposited both metal heads into his hands. He considered them, then you. His brows were knitting together even tighter.

“What the hell—”

“Remember when you donated blood for me, when I was laid up in the hospital a couple years ago?” you asked. “I got your super strength for a day or two afterwards.”

Ben nodded. You had been a bit more than laid up, but semantics, he guessed. He was getting more confused by the moment.

“Well this time, I’m told it’s also temporary…for the next seven months or so,” you said with a playful smile.

Ben considered your words. He turned them back and forth in his head…

Finally, his gaze flicked from yours to the broken weights in his hands. And he tossed them to the floor with a heavy thud on the hard wood.

You giggled in earnest when he reached for your face with both hands. His eyes searched yours for any hint of a joke, his jaw tight and working.

“Are you fucking with me right now?” he asked. His voice was a hint unsteady. You smiled bright and covered his hands with your own as the beginnings of tears stung in your eyes.

“Not this time,” you said. “Ben, I’m pregnant.”

It took him a moment to register your words. You saw the moment it all finally set in, with new realization etching into his features.

Never once had you seen this man tear up. He turned his face away, but you still caught the edges of his emotion.

You reached for his bearded cheek, turning him back to you. His eyes were red and starting to shine, even though he was fighting it. A muscle in his jaw clenched, and then eased.

After a beat, his hands moved down from your face to brush down your arms, down your sides and around your frame. He pulled you into his lap, for which you went willingly into his arms. And your tears fell in earnest when he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You knew what this meant to him, but you still couldn’t help but prod at him.

“Are you happy?” you teased, rubbing his back. Ben huffed and brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes.

“What do you think?” he countered.

Your hand moved down to slip under his shirt, gliding over the taut muscles in his back as they responded to your touch. You met him with a small smirk.

“Show me,” you challenged.

His lips quirked; that was all the encouragement he needed. Ben’s hands moved to tangle in your hair and squeeze the curve of your waist, bringing you flush against him when he kissed you. You inhaled deeply. Your nails dragged up his back, applying some pressure that made his shoulders twitch.

You didn’t know what your newfound strength felt like to him, but for Ben, you felt solid in a way you hadn’t before. He could let go of some of his self-control and knead your hips with a force beyond bruising.

He could veer away from your lips and raze down your neck, and give your shoulder a love bite that would’ve drawn blood. Now it didn’t even break your skin. It did, however, earn him a pleased gasp.

Maybe he’d just have to keep knocking you up, he thought. So you’d always be this strong.

You started rucking up his shirt first, and had to push him back to even get it off him. After that, all bets were off.

It was a mad scramble to shed each other’s clothes, with Ben not being able to get away with his usual manhandling. Your smile grew, as you now had the strength to literally push back and make him work a bit harder for it.

He smirked up at you when you managed to take him by surprise and push him back onto the bed. You’d successfully bared him for your gaze, but you still had your bra and panties on as you climbed over him and straddled his lap.

Ben held himself up with a hand on the bed as the other slid around your waist and hooked you in. You took his face in your hands and gave him the full force of your passion.

Your lips claimed his in a devouring kiss, teeth clicking and tongues dueling for dominance. And you ground down your clothed core against his rising length, earning his groan of appreciation into your mouth.

With a flick of his wrist, your bra strap snapped off in the back. You huffed, knowing he’d probably broken the clasp.

Ah well, I’m about to need new ones soon enough.

The thought made you smile against his lips. You let him pull the bra down your arms and wherever he decided to fling it off to. You thought he might start traveling down between your breasts, as was a favorite path of his to map out.

But then, in one smooth motion Ben had you flipped over onto your back. He grinned at your yelp of surprise, but he didn’t give you a chance to recover. He latched onto your neck again, this time on the other side as he scraped his beard and teeth across your skin.

Meanwhile, you moaned encouragements in his ear while his heavy hand squeezed one of your breasts, rolled a thumb over a pert nipple.

You trailed your hands down his chest, soothing over golden tan skin and freckles and sculpted muscle until you reached his hard length. You earned a straining grunt from your man as you teased the sensitive flesh, a thumb circling over its weeping head.

Ben grabbed your wrist and gave you a warning look. “Can’t let me fucking concentrate, huh?”

You just grinned and took his hand instead. You dragged it down your body until you guided his fingers into your underwear, between your wet folds.

“Ben, I need you,” you said. But your need was already in your eyes. Your skin was on fire wherever he touched, and deep inside, where you burned for him most.

Ben felt it in your iron grip on his hand, now almost as strong as his own. Your legs curled up his thighs to wrap around his hips, teasing him with the soft promise between your inner thighs. So how could he do anything else but give you what you wanted?

He teased between your folds with his fingers first. Gathering some of your wetness, he circled over your clit firmly. You whimpered as your back arched in response.

“Gonna sing for me, baby doll?” he teased. Your breathing became more labored as his fingers continued to play with you, but you managed to offer a small smirk.

“You gonna make me?” you asked. “Think you need to bring out the big guns for that one.”

Ben chuckled. As usual, you were being a little shit.

So he brought you to the edge of your release, just with his fingers. You were starting to squeeze them tight with your inner walls, your moans getting more urgent. But he withdrew his digits at the last moment, leaving you panting and confused.

“What…”

He smirked down at you and wrapped his slick fingers around his cock, stroking himself a few times. You watched him with expectant, hungry eyes.

“You want the big guns, I’ll fucking give ‘em to you,” he said. It made you huff, but you had to smile as he returned to you. He hooked his fingers on the hem of your panties and slowly, torturous, he pulled them down your legs.

Those same hands then traveled back up, gliding across your skin with purpose. Your breath shallowed in anticipation.

He eventually gripped your hips, pushing your thighs up a bit farther, and you lined his cock to your entrance. Your heels dug into his ass and added a bit of force when he pushed inside you. And your moans tangled together along with your bodies.

You fairly pulsed inside, and he felt it in your inner walls wrapped so fucking tight around him. His forehead briefly fell to your shoulder. Even though you were panting for breath, you still soothed him, carding your fingers through his hair.

Normally he’d be going off at a relentless clip by now. But Ben started slow, rolling his hips back and forth into yours at a steady rhythm that managed to take your breath away and make your toes curl.

His name fell from your lips, reverent and pleased. You felt every part of him as he plunged inside you, and it was incredibly fucking hot.

He took a moment to meet your eyes. He gave you a grin that softened the hard edges that so often lined his face in times like this. And you realized then what was happening.

Ben didn’t do slow. Not for long anyway. But it seemed like he’d taken your challenge to heart. In fact, you had a feeling he was showing you what he couldn’t quite put into words.

When he reached a hand to part your folds and circle two insistent finger pads around your clit, you couldn’t help but grip his arms tight enough to bruise him. Your mouth opened on a keening moan.

Combined with his deep strokes starting to brush all the right spots inside you, it had you squeezing on him from the inside as you came hard, and made it known in his ear.

“Fuck—” Ben’s brows furrowed as your release finally triggered his own. And his voice joined yours, muffling in the pillow under your head. You shuddered as he spilled deep inside you.

Your arms came around his back and held him to you for a moment afterwards, just stroking his back, his shoulders, his neck, whatever you could reach while you both caught your breath.

Eventually, Ben’s lips found your neck. You felt the shape of his smile grow there.

“Too bad you’re already knocked up, or that could’ve been a great way to bring in our second kid,” he remarked.

This time, it took a second for his words to click together in your mind. As soon as they did, you uttered a laugh that shook both of your frames. You swatted his ass in reproach. He smirked down at you.

“I can't with you,” you said. Though you were still giggling. “You’re just gonna have to wait for the first one to come out of the oven.”

Ben’s smirk evened out into a grin, his face almost boyish in his glee.

“Well, what can I say, baby? You’re a damn good cook.”

AN: 😂 Well then. What did you think of how she broke the news? And Ben's reaction to finding out he's finally going to be a dad? 🥹

But of course, it's not going to be all sunshine and roses in Part 2. The reader and Ben reveal the good news to her family, and as we all know, he's hoping for a son...

Next Time:

“Hey,” she said. “You know how much I care about you, right?”

“And where’s this going?” you quipped. But you turned around and gave your little sister a half-smile. You knew what she was about to say.

“So what are you going to do about that?” she asked, gesturing to your man in the kitchen. “Mr. Macho wants his prized stud. What happens if he doesn’t get him?”

You sighed. “Ben’s wanted this for a long time. He’s got an idea in his head of what it’s going to be like, and…we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Keep reading: PART 2

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tag List:

@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26 @spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort

@xoxovienna @katherineann814 @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28 @nancymcl @ashbatz @secretdreamlandmentality @kristophalis @wonderland2022 @emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow

@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @karnellius @kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun @lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2

@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420 @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92

#Strong as Blood #Part 1 #soldier boy #soldier boy/ben x reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x female reader #the boys #soldier boy/ben #soldier boy x you #soldier boy smut #smut #fluff #BMD verse #Break me down verse #zepskies writes

622 notes · View notes

iamumbra195 · 7 months

Text

Random One Piece incorrect quotes cause I'm bored

Some of these are modern au though

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

*Sanji's not there*

Usopp: HELP! I TOLD LUFFY I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Zoro, pouring alcohol directly into a cereal bowl:

Zoro: And you thought I could help?

...

Luffy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Nami : Wasn't Zoro with you?

Zoro: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised

...

Law: I trust Mugiwara-ya.

Penguin: You think he knows what he's doing?

Law: I wouldn't go that far.

...

Sabo: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Ace, confused: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Sabo: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Luffy: edible

...

Nami: We need to get through this locked door. Usopp, give me your credit card.

Usopp: Here.

Nami, pocketing it: Thanks. Luffy, kick down the door.

...

Chopper: You know those things will kill you, right?

Zoro, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Sanji, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Luffy: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

...

Robin: Why is Luffy so sad?

Nami: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Robin: And...?

Nami: He got Buggy

*Zoro cackling in the background

...

Zoro: Self care is actually getting into fights with randos in dark alleys.

Nami: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Kin'emon, trying to be poetic: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Usopp: Lmao self care is taking Luffy's birthday meat cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Luffy: If you touch my meat cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Sanji, losing his mind: WHY IS THERE FROSTING ON MEAT?

...

Franky, about Jinbe: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Robin: Are we stealing them?

Brook: New or used?

Franky, cackling: Wonderful responses, both of you.

...

Smoker: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Sanji: Shit.

Usopp: Wait, three?

Smoker: Yeah?

Nami: OH MY GOD ZORO FELL OFF!!!

...

Kin'emon: Tonight, one of you has betrayed us.

Ashura: Is it me?

Kin'emon: No, it’s not you.

Denjiro: Is it me, Kin?

Kin'emon: It’s not you either.

Kanjuro: Is it me, Kin'emon?

Kin'emon, bleeding from several debilitating injuries:

Kin'emon, mockingly: Is IT mE kiN'eMOn?

...

Usopp: Can I be frank with you guys?

Luffy, confused: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Chopper: Can I still be Chopper?

Franky, snickering: Shh, let Frank speak.

...

Sabo: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Koala: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Sabo: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ROBIN-CHAN WITH ME

Hack, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

...

Law, walking into his submarine: Hello, people who do not belong here.

Zoro: Hey.

Sanji: Hi.

Robin: Hello.

Chopper: Hey!

Law: I gave you my vivre card for emergencies only!

Luffy, grinning: We were out of meat.

...

Sanji: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Luffy, drinking meat: Why do you say that?

...

Zoro: Do you take constructive criticism?

Nami: I only take cash or credit.

...

Koala: Why are you on the floor?

Sabo: I'm depressed.

Sabo: Also I was stabbed, can you get Ivankov, please.

...

Robin: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

*everyone looks ay Karasu

Karasu: What? How am I supposed to know?

Lindbergh: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Karasu: *sighs*

Karasu: You wouldn't be trapped

...

Vivi: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Nami: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Vivi: Yes!

Usopp: ... I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

...

Usopp: WHY. why did you give Luffy a KNIFE?!

Zoro, shrugging: He said he felt unsafe.

Usopp: Now I feel unsafe!

Zoro: ... would you like a knife?

...

Dragon: What did you do with the target's body?

Sabo : What didn’t I do with the body?

Dragon:

Sabo: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

...

Luffy, texting Ace: Ace! Help I’m being kidnapped

Ace: Where are you?

Luffy: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Ace: I’ll call Gramps.

Garp, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Ace: Where’s Luffy? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.

Garp: Luffy? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-

Garp, who shaved his head:

Garp: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Garp: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Luffy: WHO ARE YOU?!

...

*Ace, Sabo and Luffy sitting in jail together*

Sabo: So who should we call?

Ace: I’d call Gramps, but I feel safer in jail

...

Roger: Garp, my old arch enemy.

Garp: ... I thought I was your only arch enemy?

Roger: I have a life outside of you, Garp

...

Zoro: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Luffy: The cow???

Zoro: What?

Sanji: *disgusted shudder* LUFFY, W H Y?

...

Usopp: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 billion berry?

Zoro: Nami can stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house and erase my debt

Luffy: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 billion.

Zoro: Good thinking.

...

Kin'emon: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Denjiro: You were flirting with O'Tsuru.

Kin'emon: So what? She's my wife.

Denjiro: You asked her if she were single.

Kin'emon:

Denjiro: And then you cried when she said she wasn't

...

Marco: What time is it?

Ace: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Ace: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Izou: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Ace, proudly: It’s 2 am

...

Luffy: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Law: You people already know too much about me.

Kidd: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

...

Sabo, an enabler: Tell Ace about the birds and the bees.

Luffy: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

...

Brook: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

...

Zoro: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

...

Law: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

Bepo: Captain, no.

...

Law: Nothing in life is free.

Chopper: Love is free!

Luffy: Adventure is free!

Robin: Knowledge is free.

Nami: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

...

Usopp: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Luffy will and will not eat.

Franky: Grass? Yes!

Usopp: Moss? Yes!!

Franky: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Usopp: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Franky: Worms? Sometimes!

Usopp: Rocks? Usually nah.

Franky: Twigs? Usually!

Usopp: Zoro's cooking? Inconclusive!

Chopper: How did you… test this?

Usopp: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.

Chopper: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Nami: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SHOELACES WENT?

Robin: What about humans? He tried to eat Crocodile once

Everyone: ...

Usopp: I think I might be too afraid to ask

(Someone pls draw this one XD)

...

Betty: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Koala: *turning to Sabo* How tall are you?

...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

That's it, this took forever to write lol

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