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#i ended up loving Nikolai so much
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being a jjk and bsd fan simultaneously requires you to scream often
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bungobble-my-balls · 5 months
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BSD Chapter 111 spoilers!!
A summary of my thoughts on the new chapter
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yeonban · 4 months
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I want to sob every time I remember that Kolya does some things for himself for short-term relief which inevitably lead to long-term suffering
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fullmetal-angelgrace · 7 months
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well damn, they sure shoved a ton of bullshit into the last 30 minutes of shadow and bone season 2.....
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1pfeli · 1 year
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very fun when i have moments of major denial/doubt that i'm autistic at the same exact time as i'm in my bsd shirt, holding my comfort item dazai pillow choking the life out of him, and putting on bsd on the TV, where my small dazai and chuuya plushies are sitting next to it, so i can rewatch it for the millionth time as i have the bsd books right there on my nightstand
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realbacchus · 1 year
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I only have 30 or so minutes left of sab season 2 and.... I don't know how I'm feeling. I'm so conflicted
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osachiyo · 3 months
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˖ 𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐅𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 ! — dazai, chuuya, fyodor, nikolai & jouno
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𔘓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — n/sfw content (mdni), hurt + comfort, degradation, tit slapping, use of safe word, ooc in fyodor’s but idc let a girl dream, spanking, rough sex, face fucking, sadism, dacryphilia, toys, role-playing in jouno’s, overstimulation, reader doesn't actually use a safe word in chuuya's (its not possible with a mouthful of cock i promise), cunilingus, one of my only fics where fyodor isn't a toxic little shit so 🤷🏽‍♀️ ps. don't steal my headers !!
𔘓 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑’𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 — here it is, the bsd version ! sorry for taking so long to finish this, there were some.. distractions 😓 i honestly did not expect this many people to request it *sob* anyways, happy reading and i hope ya'll enjoy ! NOT PROOFREAD !!
like this post? then view my masterlist for more !
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“ ‘samu—!” You squealed, tugging on your boyfriend's hair as he moaned into your cunt, doing nothing but giving you more of that toe-curling pleasure.
"Mmh - don't interrupt my meal, darl'," he leaned back for some air only before spitting on your puffy cunt and driving back in. Large, bandaged hands were pushing your hips down on the bed to keep you in place— to let him have his favourite meal in peace, as he told you.
You couldn't recall how many times you came on his tongue— absolutely drenching his beautiful face with your juices, and he loved it. But you, on the other hand, were starting to get exhausted - no, you were exhausted, chest heaving as you tried to keep up with the hot coil in your lower tummy, threatening to snap any moment.
Dazai would know your limits if it were any other day - he'd know just when to stop, but today was exhausting for him too— and the entire day he was thinking of burying his face between his pretty little girlfriend's thighs - it never failed to melt all of his stress away and fuck did it work like a charm - all thoughts but the taste of your pretty cunt left his mind once he finally tasted you. Including the fact that you had your own limits and needed a break - no matter how pleasurable the feeling of his tongue felt against your swollen cunt— you needed a break.
You hesitantly moaned out the safe word, sinking into the mattress in exhaustion as you watch Dazai blink in confusion, before immediately pulling away from you. The bandaged hand that was previously pinning you down with fervor was now caressing your thigh gently.
"Are you alright, sweetheart? Did I hurt you?" He was calm, eyeing you for any sign of hurt or discomfort. You only shied away from his gaze, fingers fingers fiddling with the satin sheets as you shook your head - "no.. just tired, 'samu." He nodded, a pout gracing his lips - the pink muscle glossy from your combined slick and saliva, "aww, was that too much for my pretty baby?" You only rolled your eyes, playfully hitting his chest as he laughed, planting a kiss on your temple with a soft "I love you so much."
"I love you too," You giggled as Dazai buried his face in the crook of your neck, kissing the bruises he gave you earlier that night as an apology.
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Chuuya had a rough day, his underlings being "fucking dumb and not getting shit right as usual," in his words. So like the good little girlfriend you were, you were generous enough to offer your hard working boyfriend some "stress relief".
That's how you ended up on your knees in front of the ginger haired man— who was still fully dressed, seated on the fancy black leather couch as you choked on his cock.
Loud growls and words of praise left his chapped lips in hurried curses, a gloved hand pushing your head down to take his cock in fully, basically making you deepthroat him. "God, pretty f-fuckin' girl, my good girl - such a good fuucking- argh—! fuckfuckfuck! Just like that baby, take this fuckin' cock.." He threw his head back against the headrest of the couch, hips now thrusting erratically up to your mouth, fat balls slapping against your chin as you gagged around him. Tears streaked freely down your stuffed cheeks, making him hiss out curses— fuck, you were such a pretty crier.
If he were only more focused and not drunk off of the pleasure of your warm and inviting mouth swallowing him whole, he'd notice your panicked whines, the way you dug your nails into the muscle of his thighs - scratching and trying to pull away from his cock, even slapping them in panic.
You couldn't breathe— you felt lightheaded and if Chuuya kept going, you'd surely faint from the lack of air.
As if right on cue, Chuuya finally remembered that you needed to breathe— hurriedly letting go of your hair and pulling you off his cock, his heart broke once he saw you coughing and sputtering on the floor, your face scrunched up in pain as air finally entered your lungs.
"Shit— doll, are you okay? Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby," he sounded genuinely guilty, and he was! He'd never want to actually hurt you unless you asked for it, and he felt so fucking bad. You nodded in response, leaning your head against his thigh as you finally breathed normally— tears, snot, drool and his precum dripping down your chin.
" 'm sorry for ruining this, Chuu. I know today was stressfu—" Chuuya cut you off with a click of his tongue, his eyebrows furrowed and a frown gracing his pretty lips, "What're you talking 'bout, baby? You didn't ruin anything," he sighed, "c'mere."
He put his hands under your arms before tugging you up in his lap, gently wiping your face with his gloved hands before pressing sweet kisses on your whole face while whispering sweet nothings about how much he loves you— how good you are for him. The ticklish feeling of his kisses made you giggle— sounding like sweet music to his ears.
After all, no matter how much he likes to see you crying and sniffling for him, he'd always prefer your adorable little giggles.
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"Slap!"
You choked out a moan at the harsh impact of your husband's hand cracking down on your ass— his hand gently rubbed the heated skin as an apology, but you knew it was only a facade. "How many was that, dear?" He mused, tone nothing but unkind and condescending. It make you feel small, and ashamed— but you also couldn't deny the way your pussy gushed out more and more slick with each hit— and he made sure to belittle you for it.
"T-twenty six?" You stuttered, thighs twitching in anticipation as Fyodor ran a slim finger up and down your soaked folds, collecting the slick on his finger before shoving it inside.
"Mmh—! Fedya p-please.." You begged, which inly made him grin devilishly— god, he was so handsome. "Please what? You have to be more specific than that," he muttered as he shoved a second finger in your drooling cunt— his free hand kneading the battered skin of your ass but you could care less about the sting.
"P-please! Make me cum—!" You gasped when another brutal smack was landed on your poor ass, the soft fat rippling as his hand met your skin. "And who do you think you are to tell me what to do?" His voice grew stern. You flinched when he flipped you on your back, basically throwing you on the pristine white mattress of your shared bed.
You landed on the bed with a soft "oof!", it wasn't long before Fyodor joined you in bed, basically ripping your cute little babydoll dress off of you as greedy hands cupped your tits, his gaze ferocious— you've never seen him like this. "You're such a naughty girl, aren't you?" He growled— kicking your legs apart to nudge a knee between them - against your bare, sopping cunt. "Fedya—" You got cut off by your own pained yelp as Fyodor tangled his fingers into your hair, yanking your head back to reveal your throat— the soft and sensitive skin just begging him to bite it - mark you up as his.
"Hush now, slut." He scoffed, harshly biting down on the column of your throat— as you let out a pained gasp. It hurt like hell.
You don't know what happened but you didn't like this anymore, you didn’t want to be treated roughly anymore, didn’t wanna be called mean names— you weren’t even processing the harsh words coming out of his mouth, you just wanted it to stop.
“Red, S-stop— red!” You whimpered, sniffling as Fyodor’s movements came to a halt. He let go of his tight grip on your hair— instead gently scooping you up in his arms and cradling you, hushing your little whines.
He silently scanned you before saying anything, dry lips pulled into a frown. You certainly didn’t look hurt… was it something he said? “What happened, darling?” He questioned, voice calm and soothing— a contrast to your own broken one. “Too rough,” you pouted up at him, burying your face further in his chest.
Oh.
“I’m sorry, love. I should’ve been gentler, huh?” He brushed a stray hair from your face, before gently massaging your scalp— easing the burn from him pulling it earlier. “ ‘s okay, fedya,” you sighed, he was so good with his fingers (in more ways than one).
“I love you, dear,” kissing the crown of your head, a soft smile tugged at his lips. “I love you too!” You smiled back. A moment of silence passed as you stayed in his embrace, before speaking up again,
“You’re doing the dishes tonight, by the way.”
“…Fair enough.”
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"You're so cute when you get like this," Nikolai cooed, voice drowned out by the sound of his hips smacking against your ass. He had you in a full nelson, your back flush against his chest, strong arms hooked under your knees to hold you up in the air as he thrusted into the warmth of your spasming cunt. "Ngh— 's too much - kolya—" you slurred, head falling back against his shoulder. God, his stamina was no fucking joke— you thought, jaw unhinged as you let out wanton moans. His thighs were absolutely drenched with a nasty mixture of your slick and his cum from the previous rounds— making a "pap! pap! pap!" noise everytime they met your ass. The whole thing was dirty, messy and so fucking lewd— his favorite combination.
"Oh hush now— you say it's too much but—" he gave a mean slap to your bouncing tits, making you squeal and kick your legs at the pained pleasure. "You're just gushing all over me— how am I supposed to believe it's too much for you, hm, dove?" His breath was hot against your ear, making you shudder— "ca— can't! please!" You sobbed, but your tears did nothing more but get him more fired up - shit, you looked the prettiest when you cried.
But the thing is— you actually weren't lying, it was really getting too much for you. But apparently Nikolai was too pussy drunk to recognize the exhaustion on your face. He was going too fast - too hard, you could barely process anything he was saying or even think straight. It was practically a miracle that you even remembered your safe word— "c-clown— clown!!"
It took Kolya some time to process the words falling out of your mouth— brutal thrusts coming to a halt as soon as he realized you just said your safe word out loud. As much as he wanted to ask you what was wrong, he knew he had to place you somewhere comfortable first - make sure you're doing okay. He gently pulled out of you with a wet 'pop!', hissing as your tight walls kept clinging onto him.
Being as soft and gentle as possible, he unhooked his arm from under your knees, flipping you to carry you bridal style - before placing you down on the bed and kneeling in front of you.
"Are you okay, pretty?" His voice was soft— a surprising contrast to how he was manhandling you just seconds before. You nodded, fat tears rolling down your puffy cheeks, which he gently wiped for you. "Talk to me, sweetheart," he pouted - brushing some stray hair out of your face and planting a sweet kiss on your swollen lips. " 'm okay," you rasped, cringing at the way your voice cracked. Nikolai nodded, getting up and quickly getting a glass of water for you.
You gratefully took the glass from him, the cool water immediately calming your burning throat. "Are you hurt anywhere, baby?" He questioned, taking the empty glass from you, before placing it on the nightstand. You shook your head, "no, jus' tired, is all."
"So does that mean we can continue late—"
"Kolya!"
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“Well, aren’t you just pathetic?” Jouno grinned, holding the wand vibrator against your clit while pumping the bright pink dildo in and out of you, making you squeal and kick your legs— hips bucking up to meet the toys.
“Please, officer— wanna cum s’ bad!” You sobbed, wrists straining against the leather restraints he had put on you. Jouno hummed, his hand speeding up, thrusting the toy even harder and faster in and out— as he rubbed the wand in circles on your throbbing clit.
“Oh, I bet you do— but, I don’t know if you deserve it yet..” he had a faux pout of his face, pressing the vibrator even firmer against your nub - making you see stars.
He had been at this for hours— getting you so close to reaching your peak before cruelly ripping it away from your grasp, only giving you fragment of the mind-numbing pleasure that you so desperately wanted to feel— and let’s not forget about the mean, degrading words falling from his lips - calling you a worthless slut, who’s only purpose is for his pleasure and his pleasure only. You felt like slapping the cocky grin off his face.
It didn’t feel good for you anymore— instead made you feel terrible, really. The continuous edging with the cruel words took a greater toll on you than both of you had imagined, which led you to eventually sob out the safe word.
Jouno stopped immediately after you blurted out the safe word, quickly but calmly pulling the dildo out of you before removing the wand, placing both of the toys on a nearby table.
He went over to unclasp your restraints, heart tugging at the way you sniffled and hiccuped— fuck, he took it too far.
A frown graced his lips once he felt the marks on your wrists from pulling at the restraints for so long— but before anything else, he had to make sure you’re okay. After all, your safety is the most important to him.
“Are you alright, darling?” He leaned closer, pulling off his slick-coated glasses and chucking them somewhere— wiping your tear soaked cheeks with his now clean hands. You let out a pitiful whimper before nodding, “ you’re too mean and— i still.. w-wanna cum..”
Jouno’s lips quirked up to reveal a cocky smirk— but he couldn’t be more relieved that you were okay - not that he’d ever show it. “Of course, pretty girl— my little crybaby wants to be treated nicely, hm?” He grinned, hand reaching down to flick at your nipple.
“Don’t tease!” You whined, but you still couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “Okay, okay— I’ll treat you like the princess you are,” He snickered, kissing the top of your head before picking you up— taking you to the bed to take you like he had been aching to all this time.
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©sachiyoh — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated ♡
tags ・ @hopefulpain @inkmooon @constant-existential-terror @nda-approval @mellieellie @seiiushi @lynxxyyy @kentopedia
@sorasushik1 @himebwrries @nopethenope @neviex @fyodorisbbg @stygianoir @saharei @x-lunawrites-x @munnaitorei @emyyy007 @dearhoney-31 @the-foreigner @angoisfine @osaemu @honeycombflowers-blog @yuiiasathesilly @kaithegremlin @poisonedslop @sukiischaotic @squigglewigglewoo @boba-is-good @cupidszvlvr @ashthemadwriter @4xxxv @bloobewy @mrs-bakugou @hauntedsol @ask-me-or-not @hanakotateyama @qqingque @lunaeheroine18 @kissesmellow21 @dazaichuuya69 @xxsilverjackalxx @gettinshiggywithit @leftrunawaybanana @deaths-presence @sugaredpersimmon @rjssierjrie @iheartpieck @angelof-darkness @otakudul @dazaisimpletmereadfanficspls @hellokitty-4-lele @scinclaitnoir @aly-insanity @kemis-world @bisexuawolfsalt @thateldribitch
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tailsz · 8 months
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Bungo Stray dogs Boyfriend headcannons!
NSFW INCLUDED‼️‼️
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Includes: Atsuhi, Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Akutagawa, Chuuya, Fydor, Sigma, Nikolai.
A/N: we are going to ignore the fact that i haven’t updated in a month…
ANYWAYS ILL SEE WHAT FANDOM IS NEXT 😝😝
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Atsuhi!🐯
Oh he was definitely panicking when he came to terms that he liked you😓
If you so much as grazed any of your body parts onto him he will actually die
AND NGL HE WOULD AVOID YOU??? you were left dumbfounded 😒
Dazai had to be the one spilling the tea that atsuhi likes you because atsuhi REFUSED to confess (Dazai thought teasing him would help. IT DID NOT HELP.)
Oh my god and when y’all start dating he’s even more on edge for like the first couple of weeks, it honestly concerned you
BUT ONCE HE CALMED DOWN
he is the whole package of ‘Perfect Boyfriend!’ 💐
he will literally break his BACK for you, he wants to make sure you’re happy for the rest of your life<3
So if you’re a fellow member of the ADA, he would like discreetly HINT to the others and the president that he wants to take as many missions w/ u as possible (it was BARELY discreet but it worked 😍‼️)
Y’all have matching PJ’S 😋( it’s a white and orange tiger onesies 🤭)
he made you one of those friendship bracelets with each-others initials (he has yours, and you have his<:)
The first time he tried to make you breakfast in bed, he dropped it all on you and the bed ☠️
(HE IS SO CLUMSY LIKE DUDE???)
he always comes to you when he feels one of his PTSD attacks coming
(you cuddle him for like 1-2 hours)
you can never guarantee your safety anywhere, but with you, he feel safe 24/7 <3
HE ABSOLUTELY LOVES BINGING SAPPY ROMANCE SHOWS WITH U. ESPECIALLY LOVE TRIANGLES
Y’all always fighting with who the main girl is gonna end 😒 HE IS MOSTLY ALWAYS RIGHT TOO
y’all split paper work up! WHICH MAKES YALL SUPER PRODUCTIVE (y’all come in second to kunikida that man does NOT play 😓)
he loves holding your wrist insted of ur hand when walking (he’s autistic idk man)
NSFW!!
Oh boy he is a submissive top😓
Like he’s always trying to pleasure you sexually or not
BUT WHAT GETS HIM HELLA TURNED ON.
is when you dominated him and order him around while he’s doing so 👏
i want to say he’s pretty vanilla BUT HE IS NOT AGAINST USING TOYS.
this one time you convinced him to wear a toy in public 🤭
it actually gave him a heart attack when anyone would talk to him bc you would turn it out and let me tell u rn. HE IS LOUD.
while nobody else noticed.. DAZAI DID .N HE NEVER LET HIM LIVE IT DOWN.
dazai always brings THAT up when atsuhi refuses to do his paperwork 😓
he likes it when you sit on his face 🤭 he doesn’t need oxygen wdym
HE LOVES REVERSE COWGIRL
MY GOD DOES HE LOVE THIGH HIGHS‼️‼️
god the moment he sees you wearing them he’s BEGGING you to let him touch n taste you 🗣️
HE LEAVES SO MANY BITE MARKS ON YOUR THIGHS 🙏🙏🙏
he is absolutely into overstimulation
he TRIES to hide his kinks but like. HE IS SUCH A CLUTS AND A BAD LIAR 🔥
his aftercare is the best ! he brings u some sweets, cleans u up, and puts on a trashy movie to watch !
HE IS A THIGH MAN ‼️
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DAZAI‼️❤️‍🩹
oh jesus christ okay um.
for you to enter a relationship with osamu in his ADA era. YOU WOULDVE TO HAVE KNOWN HIS SINCE HIS DARK ERA.
We all know osamu is. a womanizer so THATS PART OF THE REASON
the main reason is because you 2 are traumatized teenagers who found comfort in eachother 😓
but anyways he asked u out in the most . RANDOM-EST WAYS EVER??
HE ASKED U OUT WHEN YALL GOT INTO THE ADA 😓
he asked u out in morse code. U WERE SCARED AT FIRST BC YOU THOUGHT YALL WE’RE BEING FOLLOWED (he grabbed ur hand and squeezed out morse code to clarify)
so u asked him to repeat it again and
you just stopped walking, and in morse code asked if he was being serious HE WAS‼️‼️
honestly. YALL ARE THAT COUPLE THAT CHECK PPL OUT?? YK WHAT I MEAN
like y’all could be walking and this fine ass man walks past y’all AND YOU BOTH TURN YOUR NECK TO LOOK
YALL GET SO SILLY WHEN YOU DO
a couple should never shame the fact that people are hot 😓
ERM U GOT HIM INTO SKIN CARE
well actually he just likes it bc he makes u do it for him 😒
U GUYS PLAY FIGHT A LOT , AS IN INSULTS NOT PHYSICALLY (y’all have to calm down the office bc they think y’all r being fr 😓)
oh em gee , date nights for y’all is just. Buying like 2 bottles of whiskey or vodka and drink it ALLL in your shared apartment ‼️
U CANNOT KEEP A SECRET FROM HIM ITS SO ANNOYING
u TRIED to make him a surprise birthday party BUT NOOOOO (asshole smh 😒)
after a certain point, he lets u help him change his bandages <3 for once in his life, he can put trust in someone like this :D
… YALL LISTEN TO THE WEEKEND RELIGIOUSLY ‼️‼️‼️‼️
NSFW!!
HE IS A DOMINANT SWITCH ‼️‼️
it doesn’t matter if he’s being the top it bottom. HE IS GOING TO BE IN CHARGE NO MATTER WHAT
he is SO MEAN
oh he will 100% humiliate and mock u during the whole thing
he has. LONG AND I MEAN LONGGGG ASS FINGERS. ( he likes to finger you before fucking you 🤭🤭)
CERTIFIED ORGASM DENIER⁉️
he will deny your orgasm because he can. NO REASON WHATSOEVER HE IS A JACKASS
HE LIKES MISSIONARY . he LOVES to see your fucked out face ����
he is very much into public sex/ teasing
this one time when he actually came into a meeting, you being the genius you are.. started to rub his dick with your shoe under the table 😍🙏
you were so smug about the fact that after the meeting you left him alone
yea you weren’t so smug when he dragged you to a bathroom and fucked your brains out 😓
HE LIKES IT WHEN U PULL HIS HAIR
he isn’t that loud little grunts here in there but. HE WILL DO IT IN YOUR EAR🙏🙏
oh he leaves SO MANY HICKEYS ON UR NECK⁉️ u don’t have enough time to cover them so u just . HAVE TO SUCK IT UP N GO TO WORK LIKE THAT☹️
yosano gave u the side eye with a wink 😚
his aftercare is kinda. shit..
U HAVE TO DO IT 😓😓 but that’s ok ig knowing him this long, it’s not that surprising (he appreciates u doing it <3)
kunikida 👨‍🏫
ERM SO YOU LIKED HIM FIRST RIGHT
But the things is , you barely met his standards in his notebook HE DIDNT TELL U THAT BUT HE WAS A LITTLE CONFLICTED ON WHAT TO DO.
so he went to dazai …… DAZAI SET YALL UP ON A DATE BC HES THE BEST WINGMAN 💪
he honestly had a wonderful time on the date and said SCREW my notebook (for the first time in his life 😓)
he can and will switch from boyfriend to parent at you ☹️
like let’s say your life isn’t rlly great
HE WILL SWITCH IT UP FOR U SO ??? EFFECTIVELY???
he lets u braid his hair SOMETIMES 😒
you asked him one time if y’all could match nail colors (not acrylics they’re not the best for the job)
YALL ROCKED THAT PRETTY OCEAN BLUE NAIL COLOR FOR A MONTH ‼️‼️ 💅
after u taught him the basics of makeup, HE LOVES DOING YOURS
(he actually got better than u… ur a little salty..)
he liked it when u give him forehead kisses :D
he shames u for watching trashy TV BUT THE SECOND HE SEES 90 day marriage he BINGES IT WITH U (i forgot the actual name)
NSFW!!
ok let’s be for real.
this man is a dominant top 🙏
like in the battle feild, he likes being in control, when your on his bed, he likes being in control
when u act like a brat insted of punishing u by fucking u in whatever way (edging or spanking)
HE WILL REFUSED TO TOUCH U
like he’ll get u all hot (and wet) JUST for him not to touch u
him being taunted by a man child at work (dazai) he very much knows how to deal with them
he likes it when u pull on his pony tail 🤭🤭
he’s not THAT kinky however he does have a red rope under his bedddddd..
HE LOVES TITS MAN LIKE 😓😓
no matter how big, he will leave so many bite marks on them 🤭
he likes bending you over a desk/bed when he fucks you 😓
he is very sweet when fucking you, showering you in praises ‼️‼️
however he can last a very LONG time so get ready for that overstimulation !!
His aftercare is pretty standard! he runs a shower for the 2 of u so y’all can be all cute and sentimental <3
HE IS A TITS GUY (duh)‼️‼️‼️
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Ranpo🍩 (if ykyk)
OK SO YALLS CASE IS
you fell first, but he feel harder <3
Because cmon. U cannot keep a secret from this man for the life of you😒
like he deducted that you had feelings for him
and that got him thinking, but this thinking lasted for a while so HE KEPT ON THINKING ABOUT YOU
and at some point yosano asked if he was ok , and he was like “no… i’m in LOVE??? YUCK”
you feel in love with a man child 😓😓
he confessed to u… IN THE MIDDLE OF A MURDER CASE YALL WERE WORKING ON….
NOW ONTO THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP
you guys are so unserious YALL ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE 😓😓 (y’all know when u need to be serious tho dw !)
u guys pull daily pranks of the agency NOT ON DAZAI THAT WHORE KNOWS 😒😒
he doodles on your hand when he’s hella bored 🤭
speaking of which !
you guys have a LOT of drawing contest 😋
DAWG YALL HIT UP THE CANDY STORE LIKE EVERY FRIDAY (you’re on ur way to be diabetic 😓😓)
HE IS A BLANKET HOGGER.
not only that he moves a lot while asleep WHICH U DO TOO
It’s a gamble to see who’ll wake up on the floor 🤷🏽‍♀️
shit talking is a must EVERY time y’all go out to eat ‼️‼️
YOU GUYS HAVE MATCHING BEANIES or whatever his hat is called (it was his idea 😋) u guys r so silly
SPEAKING OF SILLY…
y’all play roblox… U GUYS BULLY N SCAM LIL KIDS 😓😓 (ONLY UR ACC GOT BANNED BTW AND NOT HIS??? u were pissed 😒)
u gotta strap him down to drink water and eat at LEAST of fruits bc oh my god???
bro does not have the most healthiest diet but yk what thats ok be REAL
NSFW!!
he’s a dominant switch leaning more to bottoming..⁉️
and we ALL know why
U NEED TO PLEASE THE GREATEST DETECTIVE IN THE WORLD DUH 🙏
he makes u please him FIRST before he even THINKS on laying a finger on you
oh but he knows what buttons to push to fluster you, get you in the mood, and how to get you even more hot and bothered 🤭
he has collar for u <3
MIRROR SEX 😓 he wants to make sure YOU see how stupid u get 💅
oh y’all 100% have sex in public, not for the thrill because he knows y’all won’t get caught
NO BECAUSE THIS GUY IS CLINGY AND NEEDY AS HELL😓
his sex drive is pretty high so YOURE IN FOR IT ALL (well he’s in you 🏃🏽‍♀️)
he is. SO. GOOD WITH HIS TOUNGE.
he eats you out like 4 times a week AND WHEN HE DOES
He can AND WILL make u come more than 1 time
HE WILL HUMILIATE U <33
100% overstimulates you by making YOU pleasure him (giving head , riding etc)
y’all split aftercare because god forbid he pampers you 😒 (he will if he knows it bothers you <33)
yall have a bath bubble bath after with rubber duckies 😋
50/50 chance yall fuck again 😓
HE IS A THIGH MAN.
Akutagawa🌑
ok so..😦
you guys met around the same time when u both got recruited by dark era dazai 😓😓
meaning well, dazai also trained you 🧍🏽‍♀️
it took him a while to trust you bc well having a horrid childhood PLUS having a very psychotic man training u in the mafia does something to u!
u would take care of each others wounds when needed too..<3
he confessed a little after dazai left the mafia
he wrote u a very straight forward note to meet up somewhere because he’s taking u out 🤗
(ik sounds hella delulu but if aku rlly does loves u, i feel like he would have a soft spot for u and would have no shame to show it to u and ONLY u :D)
y’all stargazed that night and swore to have each others back (that’s his way of saying ily <3)
onto the actual relationship!
he would absolutely rather DIE than do PDA
y’all train together and he does NOT go easy on you 😓
regardless on how he asked u out, that does not mean he changed his personality
he can and WILL be a dick to u , but that’s ok bc u fight back that’s kinda y’all’s thing 💅
you guys get up really early in the morning so, before work, y’all go to the same breakfast place every single day :D
u got along with Gin, and that was something he was hoping for u
when u guys are alone walking to a destination of a mission, we will hold ur pinkie <3
y’all talk in morse code a lot, whether y’all blink or tap ! (it’s mostly to make sure the other is ok)
it’s painfully obvious that he cannot express his feelings when he’s feeling like shit , so he does lash at you
you however, manage the situation perfectly , you do not blame him because you and him KNOW what he’s been through
however you tell him every time that u are not at fault to the reason he’s upset.
he grumbles an apology, while u smile warmly:D
as an apology he’s, a LESSER pain in the ass <3
No nsfw for aku, i HC that he is asexual !
—————————————————————
CHUUYA🎃
ok ok so 🏃🏽‍♀️
when chuuya got recruited into the mafia, you were already a subordinate to Kouyou
(you had recently joined too!)
You wielded a katana that supported your ability to the max which is why u we’re out under kouyou!
when you first lay eyes on him , you were infatuated (he is so pretty..)
though he barely trusted the mafia at the time, so it took him a while to fully trust you
and boy when he did
he never left your side<3
as you guys went up the ranks, Mori thought it would be best to have u as chuuyas right hand woman when he became executive (after dazai left anyway)
meaning.. YALL SPENT HELLA TIME TOGETHER….
he honestly was in denial about his feelings towards because the thought of another potential betrayal, especially from you?
so it took a while to confess, to the point where kouyou noticed and they had MANY talks abt it
enough to get him confidence and or reassurance
he asked u out in the most romantic way possible ‼️‼️‼️
he first of all took u out to dinner (which was a regular occurrence so u thought nothing of it)
HE PULL OUT A BIG ASS BOQUET OF FLOWERS WHILE U WERE CHEWING ON UR FOOD N ASKED 😦😦
ANYWAYS MOVING ONTO THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP
he is so??? fucking amazing???
his love language is buying you EXPENSIVE SHIT😨😨 (u don’t complain)
he wont do PDA bc like.. he doesn’t wants y’all business be shown to everyone
HOWEVER HE WILL BE ALLLL OVER U IF HES JELOUS ☠️ (this applies when osamu was still in the mafia, he would get hella touchy w/ u to piss chuuya off)
u make him carry u using his ability ‼️‼️
MATCHING WATCHES 🤭
y’all have arguments every now and then bc y’all have a very short temper ☠️
(y’all still apologize to eachother tho 😋 UNLESS THE FIGHT GETS YALL HELLA PETTY ☠️☠️)
every single time y’all fight and his and your subordinates witness it all ??
they all think “This again?”
u like sleeping LITERALLY on top of him HE DOESNT REALLY APPRECIATE NOT BEING ABLE TO BREATHE 😍😍
he lets u do his hair a lot 🙏🙏
SELF CARE NIGHTS R A MUST
if u don’t do it , he WILL get u into it
NSFW!!
he is a dominant switch babes..
no matter if he’s the one receiving or giving? he is the one ordering you around
he is so into BDSM
ik this is like stereotypical of him BUT.
the idea of red wine lingerie on you will make him bust on the spot.
MIRROR SEX🏃🏽‍♀️‼️
he loves calling you his little slut 😝
HAIR PULLING
and HELLA BITTING 🤯 (get it cuz he’s a vampire ha ha ha!!! /j)
contrary to popular belief, i think he’s into the risk of public sex
this. ONE. TIME. he was fingering you while yall were in a meeting..
GOD KNOWS HOW MORI DIDNT NOTICE BECAUSE IF HE DID.☠️
but you know who did? KOUYOU. she gave y’all the nastiest side eye and was left flabbergasted (HER TWO KIDS ARE DOING SUCH INDECENT SHIT???)
he absolutely loves it when you initiate the foreplay
he will ALSO make you deep throat him 😣
… gun kink..? 😞
he likes licking you ??? he’s cat i swear
THIGH MAN OH MY GOD
he CANNOT keep his hands off them..
he does the thing where he’s driving and his free hand is on your thigh
that’s like how 99.9% car sex happenes btw!
AFTER CARE 10/10
he runs you a bath
HE DRESSES YOU UP
he SETTELES YOU IN BED?
treats you like a god damn princess ‼️‼️
—————————————————————
FYDOR 🐀
erm ok so first
you gotta be a little delusional ok
because i have a feeling that if it were cannon him.. he would only be with you for his own entertainment so…
WE ARE GOING TO BE DELUSIONAL AND PRETEND THATS NOT THE CASE 😍‼️‼️
ok so…
you got recruited to the DOA by nikolai because he just found you loosing control of your ability??? (real y/n moment ‼️‼️)
he thought you were silly enough SO HE DRAGGED U ALONG
He did get a scolding by fydor for bringing a random stranger to their HQ? (what even is their building called ☠️)
he thought since you were already there… to get a good read at you and found you fascinating to say the least
He saw a TINT of innocence with.. rage?? he absolutely loved it
but then.. the more he “hung out” with you.. he started feeling this weird thing in his chest every time you popped into his mind..
he immediately knew what it is was and
he started avoiding you
because love isn’t something he needs right now
bros trying to take over the world and purify it not.. this.
the more he thought about it , his mind came up with the excuse that .. maybe your love can empower him..
AND HE BAUGHT IT
he asked you out so straight forward???
like y’all were in the middle of drinking tea and he just said “Would you like to take my hand in a relationship?”
and you spat out your tea and he did NOT repeat himself 😒
ONTO THE ACTUAL BF HC…
just because he loves and would set the world on fire for you… he still has high standards for you as a member of the DOA
he also likes to challenge you intellectually so you could (not rlly BUT STILL) keep up with him!
it actually has helped you tho! 
you guys have this little tradition of writting silly poems for eachother
it’s impossible to trick this man so.. you make him look for YOUR poems 😋 (the effort is there!)
he actually knows how to do makeup so he does yours on a regular basis! (it’s like between a casual goth look)
if you don’t have the same beliefs as him, he still appreciates the thought of you helping and supporting him
in one of his battles with the ADA, you were his trump card, dazai was left flabbergasted tbh
though he’s not high maintenance, he loves LOVES holding ur hand :D
y’all own a black kitty his name is Nova!
HES THE BEST CUDDLIER
oh my god he cannot stand when you give someone else attention
like he won’t say it outloud but like..
it lowkey pisses him off when you do
he can be a peace of shit to you
the thing that he likes tho is that u don’t let him walk over you ‼️
NSFW!!
2 words.
Dominant
bottom (maybe he’ll top u like once a month..)
HE AN ANEMIC MAN HE BARELY HAS THE ENERGY TO SURVIVE THE DAY.
but oh boy his personality…
erm! reverse cowgirl is his go to position..
HE MAKES U SUCK HIM OFF BEFORE ANYTHING THO..
honestly you have no problem with this
the sight of him whimpering under your touch MY GODDD 😝😝
he will absolutely never outright admit that you make him feel good 😒
THE ONCE IN A LIFETIMES WHERE HE TOPS YOU
it’s wild.
he doesn’t need to go rough on you because he has your body memorized like the back of his hand
he KNOWS what spots to abuse 😓
i honestly think he’s a tit guy
he knows that he loves the thought of you fucking him up BUT HE WANTS U TO TAKE INITIATIVE🤨
pick up context clues babes
his aftercare is actually pretty great but it doesn’t invole you getting out of bed just tons of cuddles and praises <3
—————————————————————
Nikolai 🤡
he would 100% prefer a high-maintenance partner to keep up with his silly doings yk?
so in this case.. sigma “recruited” you to the DOA (with fydors approval in advance)
YALL WERE IN SYNC ASAP⁉️⁉️
you guys play pranks on everyone except fydor bc he SUCKS smh…😒
HE JUMPSCARES U A LOT WITH HIS COAT☠️
at the start of y’all’s friendship he said “oh who said a guy and a girl can’t be the best of buds and nothing more!”
well..! that didn’t age well
y’all are the “You fell first but he feel harder”
i would like to say niko was oblivious to your feelings because everything you guys do are jokes…
he never thought anything you 2 did was serious
so.. apologies for the delay!
honestly it was fydor who told him
though he does not care of y’all’s love life.. niko was pushing his buttons that day and Fedya thought that was the best way to shut him up
and it worked
he was a lil flabbergasted 😦
when he REALLLYYY thought about it… he enjoyed the thought of you 2 being something more..
SO HE ASKED YOU OUT IN THE MOST NIKOLAI WAY :D
he gave you 2 bouquets of flowers 💐!!
though one was poisoned and you had to figure out which one wasn’t by a time limit… (YOU GOT IT LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE THO‼️)
and then he confessed and y’all lived happily ever after :D
…..
the day that fedya told niko that you liked him.. WAS THE REASON WHY FEDYA WANTS TO KHS.
if he thought that the 2 of u were annoying before?
JESUS CHRIST MULTIPLY IT BY 10☠️
he cannot go a day without physically holding you
whether it’s your hand , arm , leg thighs anything (he’s touch starved)
MATCHING OUTFITS R A MUST
he whines to fydor when he doesn’t pair y’all up for a mission
while fedya and dazai were in prison yall procrastinated on your current mission… YALL GOT IT DONE LAST MINUTE THO😓😓
Dawg leaves you no room in the bed he spreads out to much AND he’s a blanket hogger🤨
neither of you can cook
SO U MAKE SIGMA COOK FOR YOU😍‼️‼️
very rarely gets emotional with you, but when he does?
those are the moments you 2 are thankful you found eachother <3
NSFW!!
he’s very high maintenance so…
he’s a dominant top ‼️
public sex is something the 2 of you do on a daily basis
very VERY high sex drive
y’all’s first time you told him to go slow because you’ve never done anything like this b4 and he did..!
the second you told him to go a little faster..
DAWG HE WENT ALL OUT (at the time it lowkey hurt BUT I FELT SO GOOD??)
fedya gives y’all the nastiest look when y’all come out of the bathroom…
he loves sending you videos of his print 👏👏👏
he knows you love his hands so he fingers you a lot
speaking of which.. HE EDGES YOU ALOT
he does it for no reason what so ever like at all..
he thinks it’s funny ☹️
HE LIKES IT WHEN YOU ACT LIKE A BRAT 😍‼️‼️
like sex is a silly game between y’all
(he knows it’s game you can’t win)
honestly he has a size kink 🤷🏽‍♀️
AND AND wax play‼️‼️
he likes teasing you and then just leaving u alone for the rest of the day 😒😒
HE LOVES GRIPPING YOUR WAIST WHILE FUCKING U FROM BEHIND
erm his aftercare is average he cleans you up and bring you water and y’all fall asleep pretty quickly
honestly i think he’s a tit guy!
—————————————————————
SIGMA 🎶
erm ok so nikolai also recruited u here! (im so original!!)
for starters he already liked you sense of fashion
like a victorian era type 😜
he noticed how you always had your headphones in.. but when he talked to you.. you took them off
maybe he was reading too much into it but it made his heart flutter
you spent most of your time in his casino, so you give had tons of time to bond
he honestly enjoyed the times where you’d share headphones (he LOVESS your playlist)
honestly niko kept teasing him abt you and no matter how many times he tried to confess he couldn’t
well face to face anyway.. he wrote u a cute silly poem >w•
both of y’all’s love language is quality time
honestly fydor doesn’t exactly hate y’all together so that’s something!
late night walks is a daily routine yall do almost every day
he loves doing your makeup AND hair ‼️‼️‼️🫶
yall do eachothers nails all the time😋
OO EVERY FRIDAY IS A MOVIE NIGHT
every other day y’all go to this little coffee shop in the morning b4 dealing with a chaotic day
you are a night owl while she’s an early morning person
y’all take baths together all the time <33
y’all have the ENTIRE lego flower collection ‼️‼️
that’s literally the main reason nikolai is not allowed NEAR your shared appointment 😓😓
NSFW!!
cmon..
this man. WITH HIS SLUTTY WAIST.
is a submissive bottom 🤷🏽‍♀️
originally he thought “ofc im going to take the role of being on top because-“
the moment you practically pinned him .. you awoken something in him😨
HE LOVES LOVES LOVESSS being dominated so bad it’s concerning
he doesn’t HATE it when you take things slow.. but jesus christ when you go rough on him?
he nuts in the spot 🤷🏽‍♀️
he likes it when you pull on his hair ‼️
he’s into BDSM (it’s always the quiet ones)
he has a smile sex drive so honestly it’s up to you! he doesn’t mind tbh 🗣️
he loves it when you play music while y’all have sex 🎶🎶
erm nikolai can’t KNOCK A FUCKING DOOR SO HE JUST WALKED INTO YOUR HOME AND SAW YOU RIDING SIGMA.
he never ever let him live it down
this one time you made him wear a toy on his dick and though he will deny it..
it was one of the best days of his ENTIRE LIFE🤭🤭
he also likes the excitement of being blindfolded
his favorite place to have sex in is the living room IDK WHY🤨
mostly it’s you doing the aftercare which he rates a 5 stars! 🫶🫶
———————————
OKAY THATS IT!! again ik it’s been a month.. ILL TRY TO POST MORE FREQUENT!
2K notes · View notes
charliemwrites · 3 months
Text
Okay, okay, part 2 of the angst. A little fluff amongst the angst. (Again, still not a proper fic, just some Thoughts)
You let yourself cry only once. Tucked up in the back of the transport plane, just you and your duffel. If Nikolai notices, he politely ignores it.
After the 141, it takes you a long time to invest in your new SpecGru team. You do your job, of course. Work hard — harder than you ever have in your life. Use all the skills you learned… learned before. Seem to make a good impression.
Your new captain is gruffer than Price right off the bat, but he’s fair. Tells you what needs improvement, but is honest about what he’s impressed with.
The rest of the team is… fine.
Just fine, you tell yourself. Keep it professional; keep it distant.
Even when Keegan goes out of his way to bring you snacks and remind you to hydrate. Even when Nova helps you with a bad jam on your gun. Even when Nikto of all people sits next to you in the gym. Not touching, not even speaking. Just there.
They respect your distance. Respect your baggage. Don’t give you shit when you decline invitations to go out. You wait for your new captain to say it’s not working out. To tell you that you’re not a good fit, he’s concerned about your teamwork with the rest of the squad.
The ice only starts to thaw when you fuck up again. When you nearly die. You wake up to the entire squad in your hospital room; even Nikto is there, leaned up against the wall across from your bed.
Your captain gives you a couple harsh words for stupid sacrifices, but he chucks you under the chin when he’s done. Keegan presses a kiss to your forehead just as the pain meds are kicking in and you’re too loopy to do more than ask him if he even likes you.
The answer, apparently, is yes.
He likes you quite a bit. So much, in fact, that you start letting him into your room when he knocks. Tell him about the 141. Start joining him for training and seeking him out for tips on the sniper. You like him, dammit.
Then Nikto starts joining you two. Shocks both you and Keegan; he’s not close with anyone. If you’ve got a suitcase worth of baggage, Nikto has a bloody moving truck. You can count on two hands the number of words he’s said, with fingers left over.
Yet he’s become your new shadow. Reminds you of… a certain someone, in a lot of ways. Except Nikto pulls a knife on someone for making a gross comment about you. And starts teaching you how to throw knives and jumpstart just about everything. Seeks you out — constantly, it seems.
So now you’ve got Keegan and Nikto, flanking you almost constantly. And then you have Nova, teaching you hacking skills and makeshift bombs, her thigh pressed to yours. And your captain, patting you on the ass after a job well done.
You agree to go out with them for the first time. End up with Nova in your laps for an hour. Then find yourself in Keegan’s for another. Have Nikto’s hand on the small of your back on the way out of the bar, and your captain’s hand on your thigh during the drive back.
“Fuck you,” you nearly sob, bouncing on Keegan’s cock that night.
“That’s — fuck, baby, ngh — that’s the idea?”
You nip at his jaw and grind down, squeezing your eyes shut. His hands are firm but reverent on your hips, thumbs stroking old scars, guiding you just right when you start shaking.
“Fuck you for making me care,” you sniffle, squeezing down, delighted in the noise he makes. “Goddammit.”
“It’s alright, sweetheart,” he coos in your ear. “It’s alright. I love you too.”
And fuck if that doesn’t make you cum right then.
As you’re panting in the afterglow, you feel a rough kiss against your neck. Freeze as you see a gloved hand covering Keegan’s eyes.
“Love,” Nikto whispers in your ear. Your eyes sting, a sob caught up in your throat.
“Okay,” you whimper. “O-okay.”
Three months later, Laswell calls your captain for a joint mission. With the 141.
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nxathyx · 8 months
Text
"That's my lap..."
Gn!reader x Dazai Osamu, Gn!Reader x Ranpo Edogawa, Gn!Reader x Chuuya Nakahara, Gn! Reader x Akutagawa Ryuunoske, Gn!reader x Nikolai Gogol, Gn! Reader x Fyodor Dostoyevski, Gn! Reader x Sigma
So i just remembered that audio that was like
"hey, is that seat taken?"
"That's my lap.."
"i know what I said"
And i thought it'd be fun to write something similar so basically reader sitting on the bsd boys lap
Tw: slight suggestive themes (like hair pulling, grinding, marks/bites/brusinig, straddling if you want to count that, spanking), sitting on ones lap, ooc, cursing, slander (im slandering Fyodor once more), bad grammer
Dazai Osamu
° would definetly grab your hips and push you down on his lap
° I feel like he prefers when you're back is towards him so you can rest the back of your head against his chest while he just reads, does something on his phone or just stroke your hair
° definetly just does it as a pass time
° definetly Held your waist and made you grind against his thigh or just generally against him
° I feel like he enjoys having you on his lap in the agency, just to tease you and to anger Kunikida
°I feel like he'd massage your shoulders and leave feather like kisses on the back of your neck
Ranpo Edogawa
° I don't know why but I think he prefers sitting on your lap
° but if you do end up on his lap you two would just be quietly enjoying each others company eating some snacks and engaging in conversation from time to time
° definetly places his hands on your tummy and just plays with the skin (that sounds weird asf)
Chuuya Nakahara
° okay either likes having you on his lap sideways or you straddling him
° It depends where and what his mood is
° if you have a more childish and or silly personality would definetly use his ability to kind of make you jump up and down, and when I say up I mean like 30cm off his lap up
° would probably try to get a bit frisky
° once he let you sit on his lap while you did his eyeliner (he loved it)
° I feel like he'd know how to braid hair so would definitely do that (if your hair is long enough for that)
° I have no clue why but I feel like he'd pull your hair and then say some kinky shit in your ear😧
° you're probably leaving with a bruised and bitten neck
° if you have fishnet tights on he's definitely fondling with the plush of your thighs (slap his hand away if you don't want those to be torn [he will buy you new ones though])
°probably has a hand on your neck/throat
° if you wear chockers especially leather ones he's pulling on it just to kiss you
Akutagawa Ryuunoske
° how the fuck did you manage to even do that
° mf definetly uses rashoumon to keep you in place if you try to get up
° I legit don't know what else to say rather than what the fuck
° I think Akutagawas very kinky in private so expect a lot of lewd comments, maybe even spanking (this is so ooc right now💀
Nikolai Gogol
° mf once straight up kidnapped you with his ability just to have you sit on his lap
° likes having you kind of bounce on his lap (my grandma used to do that and it's kind of like you're pretending you're riding a horse while making sounds of the hooves clicking against the floor with your mouth. Eastern Europeans will probably understand)
° would show you card tricks
° I don't know why but I feel like he'd just randomly draw on the back of your neck (maybe sometimes with his mouth—)
° definetly drew a dick once and thought he was hilarious😭😭
° he grips your thighs from behind (I think he'd have really long and well kept nails so expect crescent moons on them)
Fyodor Dostoyevski
° personally I wouldn't go for that 😁
° don't touch his hair, you'll get 8 unknown diseases or something (I love hating on him so much)
° his body is really cold so use it to cool yourself off on a nice sunny day
° okay i don't know why but if you like a top or dress or corset or anything that needs to be tied on the back he'd sit you on his lap and zip it or tie it for you
° this man has such a hard grip on your hips, like you're leaving with bruises
Sigma
° I feel like he'd prefer to sit in your lap
° either that or just let you cuddle up to him while he's working or something
° will have one hand on your lower back
° if you ever strattled him he'll be so confused and embarrassed
° like don't do this to him he has to focus on the casino not the way you feel on him
°(he definitely gets turned on real fast)
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vanilladove · 2 months
Text
~ valentines with the bsd men!
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divider creds plutism
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: various bsd men x gn!reader [dazai, atsushi, ranpo, fukuzawa, nikolai, fyodor, sigma, bram, chuuya, akutagawa, oda, ango, jouno, tecchou]
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre: fluffy headcanons (some crack hehe)
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ content warnings: none! i also imagine all of them wearing suits🙈
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~武装探偵社 armed detective agency
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dazai osamu
planned out your valentines day date at work (got yelled at by kunikida)
buys you a nice outfit to match his suit and styles his hair like how it was in the dead apple movie o////o
after dinner, you both go on a moonlit walk around yokohama and stop by the bridge overlooking the river dazai asks you to commit a double suicide
you mostly enjoy each other's company in silence, and dazai just admires you (secretly taking pictures of you under the moonlight)
he whispers sweet nothings into your ear and you find yourselves at the Lupin bar
you both drink too much and show too much pda, giggling through the taxi ride home
you're awaited by a bed covered in rose petals, lingerie/boxers and more sake...🤭
atsushi nakajima
SUCH A FREAKING SWEETHEART
definitely didn't sleep at all the night before bc he was nervous about preparations (i'd like to think you're his first partner :3)
called akutagawa for help but he's also just as single...
ends up making you glitter roses (there's glitter all over his dorm now) and a valentines box filled with your favorite things ♡
he definitely has a cute speech for you about why he fell in love with you and how much he cares for you (one/both of you ends up in tears lol)
you guys end the night with a movie + lots of cuddles!
ranpo edogawa
valentines day is his second favorite holiday after halloween bc of all the candy + sweet treats associated with it
buys enough chocolate and snacks to feed yokohama (most of it is just for his secret snack collection...)
organizes a small at-home date where you both make chocolate-covered strawberries + heart-shaped treats
tried to prepare a romantic speech but it ended up being a 'why you're lucky to have me' speech...
gives you those cheesy 'i love you' candies + candy necklaces
you both get insane sugar crashes and don't even make it to dinner or the special valentines book scene he made poe write for you😔
fukuzawa yukichi
secretly very romantic
he takes you on a private picnic in a sakura tree field (it's literally perfect); you have bentos, plum sake, and daifuku. the cherry blossoms fall peacefully over you two ♡
would write a sweet poem/haiku for you and gift you a lavish yukata
you reminisce about the cute moments in your relationship and stay until sunset
you surprise him by taking him to a cat cafe on the way home hehe
~天人五衰 decay of angels
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nikolai gogol
thinks the traditional valentines day norms (chocolate, roses, and dinner) are boring
takes you to an amusement park (bonus if it's valentines-themed) instead
drags you with him on every ride--hopefully, you don't have motion sickness or a fear of heights
you eat so much fair food, and he never misses the chance to lick powdered sugar or cotton candy off your lips
takes you to the games section and laughs at your failed attempts. once you're frustrated enough, he wins even though the games are rigged and gets you a giant stuffed animal
you get matching face tattoos and braided hairstyles (he ends up doing it himself bc he's better than the employees lol)
on the ferris wheel, you both share an intimate kiss and he pulls out some roses (they end up being the clown ones though and splashing water all over your face :0)
fyodor dostoyevsky
asked you to be his valentine with one of those cheesy coding things (iykyk)
plans a romantic tea date for you both with lots of russian treats
composes a piece for you and plays it on his cello (forces nikolai and sigma to provide instrumental support in the background)
spends most of his time talking with you, since he's usually always busy
buys a matching ushanka for you, along with european chocolates, and your favorite flowers
you end up falling asleep in his arms reading together
sigma
this is probably his first valentines day ever so he spent a lot of time on social media to find out what people usually get for their partners
definitely uses the sky casino's amenities to put on an extravagant display for you--dancers/live music, a fancy bubble bath with rose petals + candles, couple's massage
has an intimate dinner with you in his office with the sunset in the background
he gifts you lego flowers that you end up building together and gets flustered if you gave him a gift, too♡
bram stoker
GOTHIC VALENTINES!!!!
takes you to his castle and prepares a fancy royal dinner for you
plays instrumental music from his radio but he didn't pay for spotify premium so you awkwardly listen to ads every few songs...😔
gives you pretty jewelry and black roses encased in glass (beauty in the beast style!)
takes you to the balcony and you both have an intimate night chat, which draws some rare smiles and chuckles from him
softly hugs and kisses you, grateful for your warmth and company will suck your blood if you let him
~ポートマフィアport mafia
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chuuya nakahara
the definition of a romantic bf...pls
first of all, you wake up with those gigantic boxes of roses that celebs always get, accompanied by a sweet handwritten letter and a custom outfit for the day
he then picks you up in his helicopter and flies you to a vineyard where you make your own wine and drink one he secretly made for you when you both started dating
at the vineyard, a PRIVATE CHEF cooks a fancy 5-course meal for you both to enjoy, and chuuya insists on feeding you the first bite
expect a lot of heartfelt, drunken speeches and passionate french kisses out of nowhere...
on the ride home, chuuya almost crashes the helicopter bc he's so drunk, but his ability saves you both hehe
he ballroom dances with you until you both fall asleep in each other's arms🥹
akutagawa ryunosuke
like atsushi and sigma, this is his first valentines. he asks chuuya for advice but thinks all his suggestions are corny
he ends up settling on making you some red baked goods with gin's help and dark chocolate candies
writes you love letters since he's secretly embarrassed to tell you outright how he feels
takes you on a beach date and lends you his coat if you're cold (he's secretly colder than you after he dips his feet in the water)
you hold hands and talk for a bit under the moonlight until he musters up the confidence to give you his letters and gifts
your happy reaction is worth it and makes him blush ^o^ he hugs you for a long time after you point it out, partly in embarrassment and partly because he loves you so much
chuuya and gin interrogate him about the date after he comes back lol
oda sakunosuke
picks you up from work with flowers, handmade chocolates, and a cute teddy bear
car makeout sesh before going home while you still have some time alone to yourselves
cooks your favorite meal for you and buys you your favorite alcohol
he and the kids bake + decorate a romantic cake for you (it's lowkey ugly but it's the thought that counts!!!) and decorate the house with heart balloons, cute drawings, and candles
you both eat with all the kiddos and sleep together on the same bed ♡
ango sakaguchi
almost forgot it was valentines day bc he was too absorbed in his work...his assistant had to remind him lol
takes you to a classic fancy dinner & buys you your favorite flowers
gifts you your favorite books and some sexy lingerie/boxers (his assistant probably snuck in some toys
your little date helps him relax for once and takes his stress away
gets clingy the next day and keeps trying to call/text you because he misses your presence (dazai and his coworkers tease him nonstop about it)
~猟犬 hunting dogs
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jouno saigiku
guys why are there no valentines day cards for these mfs does no one like them or what
takes you to a secluded place away from his annoying coworkers the noisy city
cooks you dinner and gifts you gold jewelry (likely a matching rope bell earring) and some soft sweaters :)
you try to play some board and card games together, but he wins everytime because he can guess your next move based on your heartbeat and movements
after you give up, you both just end up cuddling, and he rambles about his recent missions and office stories
showers you with kisses and caresses; purposely teases your pulse points to get a reaction from you
although you give him gifts (i think he would really like noise-cancelling headphones), his favorite one is your praise. he can't stop blushing when you list off all the reasons you love him hehe
tecchou suehiro
tecchou would take you on a romantic cabin getaway!
you go on a cute couple's hike (it's supposed to be along a heart shaped trail)
he's kind of directionally challenged and gets lost along the way...
as an apology, he gives you the chocolates he bought for you (they melted from the heat though)
he eventually finds his way through the surrounding landscape and you find a secret waterfall connected to a beautiful lake
you both go swimming to cool off and end up laughing off the whole situation
when you get back to the cabin, you order takeout (do not let this man cook) and look through the pictures you took on your hike
he gifts you some plum blossoms he picked on the hike ♡
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517 notes · View notes
il-miele-che-scrive · 2 months
Text
Charles Leclerc x princess of Monaco reader
When their relationship gets discovered by the public eye, it's starting to get a bit chaotic. Contrary to [Y/n]'s worries, people react positively and start to even wonder if Charles is going to become an actual prince of Monaco.
words count: 3.6k
cursive is for memories
As I was finishing writing this last night, I've received such a fun idea for rivals to lovers for reader x Charles, so you know what fic to expect next;)
The Princess
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Keeping your relationship private isn't an easy thing when you're royalty, the literal princess of Monaco, and your boyfriend is a famous Formula One driver. But somewhat [Y/n] and Charles managed to remain private until their engagement.
Of course, there were theories and people were suspecting it. Both [Y/n] and Charles were from Monaco and single for a suspiciously long period of time, so rumours were writing itself.
It wasn't that weird when it came to the princess being single, at first people even speculated about her preparing for some political marriage that would be beneficial for her country. However, Charles had quite the reputation when it came to dating, so fans were pretty surprised he 'stayed single' for so long.
Everything cleared up and fans' theories became reality, when [Y/n] and Charles were caught sneaking out of one parisian restaurant through the back door. It was the evening that Charles had proposed to [Y/n] and she wanted it to be officially announced on the next day, but unfortunately they were noticed by some paparazzi.
"I knew we weren't going to keep it this way forever," [Y/n] sighed, seated in the passenger seat of Charles' Rolls Royce Wraith, "but I wanted it to be officially announced."
"Don't worry, love." Charles assured, putting his right hand on the woman's thigh. His left hand was on the steering wheel, controlling the car at a speed that had surpassed the legal limit some time ago. "We might not have control over how the news got out, but it doesn't matter, people's opinions don't matter."
"True, but I hope the official announcement won't be overshadowed by the media's articles. You know how they are."
"And what if it does? The only thing that matters to me is our love, I don't care if people that I don't even know approve or not."
The night air whispered against the windows as they sped through the city, the glow of streetlights reflecting inside the car. They were already far from the center of Paris, no paparazzi in sight anymore.
As they reached the destination, which was a mansion located in a secluded place, Charles got out of the car and rushed to open the door for [Y/n].
"Thank you, love." [Y/n] smiled, stepping out of the vehicle. "I'm sorry this had to end with us evacuating like that."
"It's no problem at all, I'm quite used to the spotlight, nothing new for me." Charles joked, walking alongside his now fiancée towards the door of the building.
"I was hoping it wouldn't be like this. I mean, Nikolai has a pretty normal life in Australia, people don't stalk him wherever he goes. In Sydney he isn't Nikolai the prince of Denmark, he's just a normal person. I thought I could be the same in Paris."
"Chérie, as much as I love you, I cannot agree with you. I think there is a small difference between Paris and Sydney," Charles laughed.
They entered the mansion, the opulence of the surroundings contrasting with the night's earlier events. The warmth of the mansion was a contrast to the moments they had just left behind.
As they settled into a cosy sitting room, [Y/n] asked her maid to bring a bottle of champagne.
"Maybe I should leave my royal title." [Y/n] wondered out loud. "There were cases in which the royals left their titles to marry someone."
"No," Charles shook his head, "I would never forgive myself if you made this decision solely based on tonight. I think partially the fault is also mine, don't forget I drive in Formula One."
The maid returned with a chilled bottle of champagne, uncorking it as [Y/n] and Charles continued their conversation.
"Thank you," [Y/n] smiled at the maid and then shifted her focus back to Charles. "I appreciate your concern, Charles, but it's not just about tonight. I love you, and I want to be with you, but sometimes, I wish we could escape the constant judgement. I don't want my title to affect you in bad ways."
Charles reached for her hand. "I get it, [Y/n]. And I admire you for even considering it. But I fell in love with you, the princess, just as much as I did with [Y/n], the person. Your title is a part of who you are and I wouldn't want you to give that up for me."
"I just wish we could have a life where we're not constantly under the public microscope."
"Then we'll find a way to make it work. We'll create our own story, one that is above the titles and the fame. [Y/n], I've just proposed to you tonight. I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't ready for everything it brings into my life."
They continued to enjoy the evening while the flickering flames in the fireplace cast a warm glow over the room. The world outside seemed distant.
In that moment it was just Charles and [Y/n], two people deeply in love. Not 'the princess and the Formule Ona driver'. Inside the walls of [Y/n]'s family's mansion, they were just normal people.
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On the next day, as [Y/n] and Charles had woken up, the media was already filled with rumours about them. It seemed as if the whole world was talking about last night.
"I contacted my spokeswoman," [Y/n] announced to Charles as they sat down to breakfast. "Our engagement will be officially announced as soon as possible, apparently the statement has been ready for a few months now."
Charles couldn't help but let out an amused chuckle slip out of his mouth. "A few months? Were they predicting our engagement?"
[Y/n] joined in his laughter, shaking her head. "Oh, they're always prepared for anything."
"How did your parents react? Have you spoken to them?"
"Well, it'll be the time for you to meet them. I've been postponing it, but now we're engaged and it can't be avoided."
"I've been telling you I should meet them already. I don't want them to think it was me who didn't want to do it."
"I told them I didn't want to jinx it!"
"Well, I've been practicing my royal etiquette. It time to make a use out of it."
"You'll be just fine, Charles. Just be yourself." [Y/n] giggled. "You know, in their eyes you're one of the best candidates."
Formula One was important for Monaco and Monaco was important for Formula One, so when [Y/n]'s parents found out she's dating a driver, a monégasque one, they were very content.
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Unfortunately, there were some issues the couple was about to face. Being engaged didn't bring any legal responsibilities, however once they get married, things could change.
[Y/n] and Charles landed in Monaco in a private jet chartered for them. They were greeted by a big crowd of people eager to know the whole story.
"We aren't supposed to give impromptu interviews." [Y/n] said quietly, walking down the stairs from the plane.
Charles, a few steps behind her, replied with a mischievous grin, "Why not? It would be fun. Spontaneity can be good for us."
As they stepped off the plane, they began to walk side by side. Charles offered his arm to [Y/n], who gracefully looped her hand around his forearm.
"My spokeswoman advised this to me." [Y/n] answered. What she didn't mention was that her spokeswoman was worried about Charles saying something inappropriate.
The couple continued their walk with smiles on their faces. [Y/n] occassionaly waved at someone. It was a bit windy that day and she was thankful for wearing a long dress that day, because it wasn't that easy to be lifted up by the wind.
Somehow, their attention was then captured by a friendly-looking journalist who approached with a warm smile. [Y/n] gestured to the bodyguard, who Charles thought was unnecessary, indicating that they were willing to engage in a brief conversation.
"Princess [Y/n], Mr. Leclerc, thank you for sparing a moment." The woman began, without even introducing herself. "The world is eager to hear more about your engagement. Everyone is curious how did you manage to keep the relationship a secret for so long."
Charles and [Y/n] exchanged a brief glance.
Then [Y/n] decided to speak. "We just valued our privacy and wanted to savor the moments without external pressures. We're grateful for the time we had to get to know each other and form a connection away from the spotlight."
The journalist continued with the next question. "And what made you decide to go public with the engagement now?"
"We literally got engaged last night." Charles admitted with a playful smile. "We planned to announce it a little later, but we were seen anyway, so thought why not."
"Many people are already speculating about the wedding. Can you give us any hints about when and where it might take place?"
[Y/n], maintaining a diplomatic demeanor, responded. "We're still in the early stages of planning. When we have the details, we'll share them with everyone."
The woman didn't seem satisfied with the princess' reply. She decided to shift her attention completely to Charles. "And, Charles, as you might know, people have been calling you the unofficial prince of Monaco for years and now you're about to marry into the royal family."
Charles, caught off guard by the unexpected question, scratched the back of his head with a sheepish grin. "Well, unofficial prince or not, I don't think anyone would want me leading official ceremonies. I'm more comfortable behind the wheel of a racing car than in any royal procession."
The journalist chuckled at his candid response, appreciating the touch of humor to the so far serious interview. [Y/n] smiled lightly, but deep down she was worried about how the public might perceive Charles's.
Noticing [Y/n]'s concern, Charles quickly added with a playful wink. "But who knows? Maybe I'll become the first prince who can pull off a pit stop during a royal banquet."
"One last question. Do you think there will be any changes in your career, induced the responsibilities that come with being part of a royal family? For example, princess [Y/n]'s grandmother had to leave her Hollywood dream."
"Marrying into the royal family is a bit like joining a new team, isn't it?" Charles joked, searching for a proper answer in his mind. "But seriously, I don't see myself giving up my racing career. It's my passion and I'm lucky to have the support of [Y/n] and her family in pursuing it."
[Y/n] decided to chime in. "It's a unique situation and we'll try to find the balance between Charles' racing career and any new royal responsibilities."
Charles and [Y/n], having left the interview behind, found the car that was supposed to take them straight to [Y/n]'s parents' palace. Charles opened the door for [Y/n] and soon after that the both of them were sitting in the back of the car.
The car moved smoothly through the small city and thankfully the windows in the back were darkened, so that the couple could feel more comfortable. Charles couldn't ignore the quiet need for the driver's seat. The engine's sound and the familiarity of the steering wheel, and the city outside the vehicle, held a certain comfort that the backseat couldn't quite provide.
He stole a glance at [Y/n], her hand still intertwined with his. "You know, love, I can't stop thinking about how much I'd rather be driving right now. No offense to our chauffeur, of course."
The man in the driver's seat took a glance at Charles through the rearview mirror, smiling sympathetically.
[Y/n], with a smile, leaned closer to Charles. "I know, I know, but this way it's more official. You'll have opportunities to be the driver."
The chauffeur, overhearing their banter, chimed in. "I'd be happy to trade places with you, Mr. Leclerc, but I doubt the palace would approve."
Being reffered to as 'Mr. Leclerc' was another thing Charles had to get used to. For most of the time to people, to fans , journalists and others he was just Charles. Or Leclerc. And now people began to put 'mister' in front of his name.
The trio shared a light laugh as the car came to a stop in front of [Y/n]'s parents' palace. After stepping out of the vehicle, Charles and [Y/n] approached the entrance of the building and the man could feel some stress appearing in his body.
He wasn't stressing before at all. But now the reality of the situation hit him with full force. He was meeting his future wife's parents. Not only this, but also they were royalty.
Holy shit, Charles was about to marry into royalty.
The couple was holding hands, so [Y/n] could feel Charles' hand starting to lightly shake.
"I told you, you have nothing to worry about." [Y/n] assured, trying to calm his nerves.
"Easy to say," Charles said, a hint of anxiety in his voice, "your parents are, like, the most important people in Monaco."
"And? You as well. Fans have been referring to you as the prince of Monaco for years, think about it this way."
The palace doors opened, revealing a grand foyer. The couple stepped inside, entering a world of regality. It was this moment when Charles realized how real it all was. The anxiety lingered, but he found a remedy for it in [Y/n]'s presence.
The couple was walked into the drawing room. Charles glanced at [Y/n], who gave him an encouraging smile, and for a moment it was just the two of them. Not for long, however. Their little moment was interrupted by the arrival of [Y/n]'s parents.
"Mother, father," [Y/n] gracefully curtsied.
"Your majesties, it's an honor." Charles greeted, bowing his head.
By the time [Y/n] came back from her curtsy and Charles looked up, [Y/f/n] was extending his arm towards the man, offering a handshake. Charles respectufully accepted the gesture.
As their hands met, Charles decided to introduce himself. "Charles Leclerc," he said, being cut off before he could say more.
"Our national treasure, indeed. We're well acquainted with your accomplishments."
The room echoed with a shared laughter, breaking the ice and setting the tone for a lighter conversation. It was something that eased Charles' nerves. Of course, he still had to follow the etiquette, but [Y/f/n]'s remark made the situation feel less formal. After all, royalty is people as well.
The conversation smoothly continued as both the couples sat down on the elegant, antique sofas.
"And how did you two figure out 'this is it'?" [Y/m/n] inquired with a playful twinkle in her eye. "I don't think you've told me this story, [Y/n]."
"Of course, it started when we met at the race in Monaco a few years ago." [Y/n] smiled at the memory.
It was the first Monaco Grand Prix that [Y/n] attended, four years ago. Accompanied by friends, [Y/n] made a casual appearance in the paddock for media purposes, not initially a fan of Formula One. However, that day changed everything.
Their eyes met for seconds, but it was enough for Charles to get enchanted by [Y/n]. Her smile, her eyes, the way she moved so gracefully. They met again the same day after the race, when [Y/n] took her time to pay a visit into every garage.
"Mate, I'm telling you, shoot your shot." Sebastian encouraged his teammate. "Everyone on the grid can see the way you look at each other."
"Are you kidding?" Charles refused. "She's royalty. What would I even say?"
"Come on, you're not just anyone. You're Charles Leclerc. I'm sure she wouldn't refuse a date."
Charles couldn't help but chuckle at Sebastian's persistence. "Seb, she's a princess. I can't just approach her like it's not a big deal."
"It is not a big deal, though!"
"What if I make a fool out of myself?"
And so, the worries won that time. Charles, scared of embarrassing himself, barely made any conversation with the princess when she approached the Ferrari garage.
He waited a year, because a princess is not someome you can just hit up on social media. He waited a year, hoping she will visit the paddock again. She did, but unfortunately with a man. She was in a relationship with a prince, exactly the way royalty works.
Discouraged, Charles decided to give up on her, eventually finding himself in a relationship with someone else as well. The irony struck him when [Y/n] was single again a year later. Of course, he couldn't make any move, being in a relationship himself.
Maybe if he was single at the time, he would have finally found the courage to have a private conversation with the princess. He felt as if he missed out and he hated himself for having these thoughts.
One more year had passed and eventually the both of them found themselves single by the time of the Monaco Grand Prix. Charles didn't hold back and this time started a conversation with the princess.
"Your royal highness," he greeted, "fancy meeting you here again. Although you do seem lonely."
It was a fact. [Y/n] indeed came to the Grand Prix alone that year. Without a boyfriend, obviously due to the breakup, and also without her friends.
"Well, you've caught me," [Y/n] chuckled, "attenting the Grand Prix by my lonesome. I must admit, the prince was never a fan."
"Oh, and why is that?"
"He was an average insecure man. According to him, I am a fan just because you drivers are physically attractive." [Y/n] stopped herself from smiling after that sentence. After all, there was a bit of truth in this in her case.
"Well, aren't we?" Charles opted for a cheeky question.
"Touché." The smile creeped up onto the princess' face by itself. "I suppose there's some truth to his observations."
"And what exactly would a princess like yourself do in the case of getting asked for a deliberate encounter?"
"Are you suggesting something?" [Y/n]'s eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief.
"Yes, what do you say to a more intentional rendezvous, perhaps over dinner?"
[Y/n]'s smile widened, and she nodded. "Hmm, that sounds like a rather bold move. But I must admit, I appreciate boldness. Dinner it is."
And that was basically how their romance unfolded. Both [Y/n] and Charles were grateful for the way the events played out. Charles found in [Y/n] not just a princess but a person in whom he could find solace and support, and [Y/n] discovered in Charles a partner who liked her for more than her royal status.
The engagement, announced under unexpected circumstances, only strenghtened their commitment to each other. Not a long time after, the day of their wedding came.
The ceremony took place in the Saint Nicholas Cathedral and was attended by, first and foremost, the families of both the bride and the groom, by other members of royalty, and also by Charles' fellow drivers, principals of the teams, a lot of people related to Charles' 'workplace' in general.
[Y/n] walked down the aisle, holding the arm of her father. The moment important in the royal tradition. Charles, waiting at the altar, couldn't help but marvel at the sight of his soon-to-be wife. Her white dress highlighted her grace, making Charles question if he's actually worthy of being her husband.
The vows they exchanged were personal and heartfelt, expressing their love, talking about their past, including a promise to grow old together.
The reception was held at the palace. The couple danced their first dance as husband and wife, surrounded by the music of a live orchestra. A bit later, it was the time to socialize with the guests.
"You did end up as the prince of Monaco, after all." Charles' friend, Pierre, joked, recalling the nickname made up by fans.
Charles chuckled at Pierre's comment. "The people have manifested it. But I wouldn't have it any other way."
Esteban joined the laughter, adding with a grin, "Should we start addressing you as your royal highness now?"
The groom playfully rolled his eyes. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm still the same old Charles, just with a fancy title."
In the same moment the groom was having a chat with his friends, [Y/n] made her way toward his younger brother, Arthur, who served as the best man at the wedding.
"Princess [Y/n]!" Arthur said, raising his glass in a greeting. "Quite the celebration, isn't it?"
"It is, indeed," [Y/n] replied, smiling, "and your speech made it even better."
"Thank you, I tried my best. It was my first time and the huge amount of guests didn't make it better."
"You did wonderful regardless." She paused. "And, by the way, there's no need for formalities, we're family now. Call me just [Y/n]."
"Deal, [Y/n]," he clinked his glass with hers, "and, if Charles ever does anything to upset you, let me know. I'll try to put him in his place. He is really lucky to have you."
"Hopefully I'll never have to take you up on that offer," she giggled.
"I have a feeling you two are going to have an amazing life together."
The night continued with celebrations, toasts, music inside the walls of the enchanting palace. The newlyweds were happy to share this moment with all the people they had invited.
A few hours into the celebration, so late at night it could be as well called morning, [Y/n] and Charles found themselves swaying to a slow song.
"How are you enjoying the celebration, my prince?" [Y/n] whispered, audibly just for her husband.
Charles' smile reflected the happiness in his heart. "I couldn't have asked for more. One of my biggest dreams came true."
"One of them? What are the other big ones?"
"Becoming the world champion." He chuckled. "Do you even know me at all?"
[Y/n] playfully rolled her eyes. "I was hoping for some more romantic goal."
"I didn't say I'd trade you for the championship, did I?"
"I know you wouldn't." She paused. "One step at a time, Charlie. You'll be the first prince to win it."
894 notes · View notes
tender-rosiey · 9 months
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“AND MY HEART SCREAMS: IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU”
— the moment dazai, chuuya, kunikida, fyodor, nikola, ranpo, and fukuzawa knew they wanted to spend their entire life with you
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DAZAI OSAMU: the moment he revealed his scars to you—scars that told of the past, details of the past, details that he thought he would never reveal. there were multiple outcomes, but his lonesome heart forced him to expect only one: you getting disgusted and perhaps even refusing to stay any longer. he wouldn’t blame you if you did.
so imagine his surprise when your eyes held nothing but sympathy and the utmost tenderness as you gently kissed his scars and whispered only one sentence, ‘I just wanted to be able to be by your side then’. what was he supposed to do other than pull you close and embrace you tightly, burying his face in your hair to hide a face that failed this once to master the mask?
NAKAHARA CHUUYA: when you went out of your way to prepare an unwinding night for the both of you. chuuya loves his with his entire heart and trusts with his entire being. and he sometimes doesn’t know just what to expect from people. so seeing you put so much effort into ensuring his happiness and your own had a certain hold on his heart.
he loves you unconditionally so when you responded to that love with the same intensity, he couldn’t help but gravitate towards you even more. he falls harder, but you’re there to catch him a smile. he approaches you, unaware of what will slip out of his mouth—a desire that has been on his mind for far longer that he thinks, “marry me,” he whispers, gentle and hopeful eyes looking at your own.
KUNIKIDA DOPPO: he is a man who sticks to his ideals and those ideals are to protect others not himself. it pained you, seeing him so ready to sacrifice himself to try and follow up to said ideals till the end. so you held his hand, crying about how you don’t want him to be so careless with himself and that your heart can’t handle seeing him choose his own death as a solution anymore.
he found himself breaking down and pulling you into a tight embrace, constantly murmuring ‘I am sorry’ with kisses pressed on top of your head and reassuring that he will always stay with you. your hold on him doesn’t falter as you feel his tears and he feels his heart getting even more fond of you, his dear true love.
FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY: entertainment is something he loves, but it surprises him when he can’t handle entertainment at your expense. when he goes through his plans, even when the most ‘fun’ option involves you, he doesn’t choose it. he finds himself unable to put you in danger he knows he can avoid.
he doesn’t fight the place you have acquired in his heart; instead, he goes to you and his head finds home on your lap. his hand caresses your own and he looks at you with longing like you’re the epitome of what he truly wants for himself. a gentle whisper of your name and you look towards him and he finds sanctity in your gaze. the true form of purity: your love that he succumbs to and accepts as a part of his being.
NIKOLAI GOGOL: when you showed him that you truly understand or even try to him. you don’t call him a maniac or a monster; instead, you smile patiently, heart open for him, and ask him to tell you more. and he does. words spill out of his mouth in an unbelievable speed, thoughts—a jumbled mess—are thrown into the air and you listen.
emotions—the shackles of humans—overwhelm him in a way that he is surprised that he doesn’t hate. His legs grow weak and he falls at your feet, screaming, crying, and repeating a mantra of I love you. when he does calm down, he takes your hand and puts it on his face. he is now held back by love, shackled by you. he knows and he—somehow—doesn’t mind. he just sinks deeper.
EDOGAWA RANPO: when you slept in the office, beside him, while he was planning their next move. it is not often that ranpo actually works. so, it wouldn’t have made him upset if you left because with all his confidence, he values your smile the most. but you stayed, you always did. ‘y/n, you can go back home you know,’ he had murmured, patting your head with a small grin, but you just told him to shut up and you cuddled closer to him.
it’s not the first time you hugged, but, for some reason, this certain hug had him tightening his arms around you before shouting about how he needs to get done quicker so his sleeping beauty can rest properly with an undeniably lovesick and joyful grin on his face.
FUKUZAWA YUKICHI: when you patted his head with a murmur that you trust him. in the eyes of others, it is ultimately meaningless and silly. yet, to him, that single gesture meant the world. and behind closed doors, he rests at ease, knowing his heart is in your hands.
he dotes on others like a strict father, yet when the same affection and trust is thrown at him, he can’t help but smile helplessly while you stroke his hair and pull him close. he also feels his heart set ablaze when he sees you laughing and pulling on his hand, wanting him to join whatever fun you’re having. and he follows you, like he always did and always will—with a smile so serene it tugs at your own heart.
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atlabeth · 9 months
Text
come on back to me - nikolai lantsov
summary: five times you save nikolai and one time he saves you.
a/n: if you've seen my thoughts as i read through siege and storm and ruin and rising then you know that i am deeply in love with nikolai lantsov and since ive finally finished the trilogy i finally feel qualified to write about him lmao. i actually don’t think i’ve written a 5+1 which is crazy so here you go. i wrote this in like 2 days in a spurt of inspiration and im absolutely in love with it, so i hope you all are too!!
title from you’re the one by greta van fleet
wc: 7.3k
warning(s): fem!reader, canon typical violence, siege and storm & ruin and rising book spoilers (i have not watched the show), medical inaccuracies, nikolai's volcra era, hurt/comfort and a happy ending (as usual)
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Os Alta
It all happened rather quickly. 
One moment, you were in the infirmary mending a poor soldier’s broken arm. The next, screams were erupting everywhere. 
You and the soldier locked eyes, and you did a final bit of healing on his arm before you nodded at each other and darted off. 
The soldier grabbed his gun and went further into the palace, no doubt to find the royal family, and you adjusted the collar of your kefta before you ran out into the fray. 
Nichevo’ya had surrounded everything, attacking anyone they could find, and their shadowy bodies were like a void’s blight on the land. You knew the sight would be forever burned into your mind.
You knew the Darkling was going to march on Os Alta, that he would have to do it directly to use his shadow soldiers, but this was so much earlier, so much worse than you’d expected. Enforcements were meant to come from Poliznaya. You guessed that was off the table. 
You were fine at fighting—alright with a pistol and better with a dagger—but you were a Healer. You spent more time dealing with the aftermaths of battles, more skilled at setting broken bones and mending bullet wounds than inflicting them. 
Times like these were the ones when you normally questioned your decision to not hone your abilities into a Heartrender, but now you would at least be a dead man either way. Nichevo’ya didn’t exactly have hearts to stop and organs to manipulate. 
You had to get to the other Grisha. You had to make sure the Sun Summoner made it through this attack, even if it meant you wouldn’t. 
You broke into a sprint, trying your best to ignore the crippled and broken bodies in the carnage. Your instincts tugged against you, but you knew there was nothing to be done. If you stopped to help a dead man, you would soon join them. 
You nearly battered into a group of people from your speed and lack of attention, and you reeled to the side seconds before a head-on collision. When you looked up, drawing in ragged breaths in the one second of rest you’d gotten, your eyes widened. 
You were face to face with the royal family. The King, the Queen, and Nikolai Lantsov. The absence was glaring. 
“Grisha,” Nikolai breathed, and he grabbed onto your shoulders like a madman as his fingers ran over the embroidery. He might as well have been one, the way wildfire flickered in his eyes. “You’re a Healer? One of Alina’s?”  
You nodded rapidly. “Are you—” 
“I’m getting them to safety on the Kingfisher,” he cut off, “and she wants me to get that old woman as well.”
“Baghra—?”
“You’re a Healer?” the King interrupted harshly. Your heart stuttered—you’d never been directly addressed by the King, but you supposed circumstances like these called for different standards. 
“Yes,” you nodded. “Are you hurt?” 
“My wife,” he said, and your attention turned to the Queen. Genya’s absence had taken a toll on her, and the shards of glass sticking out of her side weren’t doing her pallid frame any favors. 
“Madraya,” Nikolai whispered, his eyes wide, “I didn’t even notice.” 
“Alexander—” her voice was ragged, her entire appearance pallid— “we’ve much bigger concerns.” 
“Nonsense.” The King’s gaze bore into you. “We have time. Heal her.” 
You screwed your eyes shut, your hands closing into fists for a moment before both opened and you nodded. “Keep an eye out, moi tsarevich,” you huffed, and you moved to the Queen’s side. Nikolai’s head perked up for a moment at your words, but it disappeared just as quickly as he adjusted his grip on his pistol. 
“Of course,” he said wryly. “Not that I don’t trust your work, and not that I don’t trust my abilities, but it would be grand if you could do this quickly.” 
“Working as fast as I can,” you muttered, ignoring the noises the Queen made as you pulled the shards of glass out with little care. Your mentors would be rolling in their graves if they could see you. 
“Vasily is dead, by the way,” Nikolai said, attention focused on the nichevo’ya all around. Thankfully, you’d run into each other in a spot relatively hidden from view. Hopefully it extended to shadow creatures. “I know you were wondering.” 
Your hands faltered for a moment, but it was hardly noticeable as you continued to work. He wasn’t wrong. “I’m so sorry.” 
The Queen choked back a sob, and the King’s face betrayed the slightest bit of emotion. 
“An awful way to go,” Nikolai muttered, more to himself than anything. “But fitting that he brought about his own end.” 
His parents said nothing to your surprise, but you stood up from your knees and nodded at the King and Queen. “She’s healed enough. No internal bleeding, at least.” 
“Healed enough?” the King repeated. “That is not—” 
“It’s the best we can hope for,” Nikolai interrupted sharply. “We’ve already wasted too much time out here.” 
He then nodded, grasping your hands with fierce desperation. “The crown thanks you, darling.” You’d never seen him like this—you’d never seen him fear anything. The Darkling and his creations were a good start. “I thank you, truly.” 
“Just doing my duty,” you assured, and you pulled a small container out of the pocket of your kefta, leftover from your work in the infirmary before it all went to hell, and pressed it into his hand. “She should be alright, but I’ve been slightly rushed. Rub this salve on her wounds when you’re out of danger just to be sure.” 
Nikolai nodded again, slipping it into his own pocket. “Keep our Sun Summoner safe,” he said. “Or else this’ll have all been for nothing.” 
You nodded. “With my life.” 
Nikolai’s eyes met yours, and something unsaid passed between you. Then his hands slipped off of yours, and he continued to herd his parents away from the chaos. You muttered a quick prayer to any Saints that would listen for their safety, and then you head off on your own way. 
2. The Pelican 
You thought either the bones in your hands or the wood was going to crack with how tight you were holding onto the side of the ship. Your heart was still hammering away in your chest—the adrenaline from the battle and Nikolai Lantsov’s sudden appearance and being shot at a thousand different times by a thousand different militiamen still had you quite shaken. 
You knew the sort of chaos you were in for when you made the decision to travel with Alina Starkov rather than stay in the White Cathedral, but you think you hated being in the air like this even more than you hated being trapped underground with those zealots. 
Someone called your name, and you turned to see Adrik a while away with wide eyes. You huffed a sigh as you reluctantly let go and hastened your pace to catch up with him. If he was sent to fetch you, then someone needed healing, and you couldn’t exactly hold off on the one thing you were good at. 
Adrik led you over to a corner of the Pelican where a large portion of your group of Grisha were gathered. Tamar was kneeling next to whoever was injured, one hand splayed above their chest, and you took a deep breath as you forced calmness to wash over your mind. 
“What are we dealing with?” you asked Tamar, but it was clear enough when he spoke up. 
“I’m telling you, it’s fine,” he insisted. “Just a flesh wound.” 
“He was shot,” Tamar said dryly, “and he refuses to accept its severity.” 
“So we meet again,” you said placidly. 
Nikolai seemed to perk up when he saw you, any prior frustration absent from his face as he grinned at you and said your name. “If you’re the Healer here, then I guess I’m not so fine.” 
“Am I ever going to be around you when you’re doing important princely things,” you said as you crouched on the other side of him, Tamar continuing to keep his heart rate steady, “or only when you’re injured?” 
“This is a very important princely thing,” Nikolai said. “I’m showing my soon to be subjects that I’m just like them.” 
“You were shot and you thought you were fine?” You let out a loose sigh and shook your head—it wasn’t worth getting into it. “Keep it steady, Tamar.” 
She nodded, and you reached out to begin unbuttoning his outer coat. He wouldn’t stop shifting around, and it made it infinitely harder. 
“Will you sit still?” you snapped. 
“I am,” Nikolai said. 
“You are not,” you asserted, and you undid the final button on his coat after a struggle, “and you are making this much more difficult.” 
“My apologies,” he said. “Usually women that are taking off my clothes aren’t this angry with me.” 
You scowled, only making his smile grow. 
“You do it yourself if you want to be like that,” you said, letting your hands fall back to your side. “I’m sure the rest of your soldiers will listen to a Healer.” 
“Ah, but none of them bravely threw themselves into danger for you,” Nikolai remarked. “I’m sure that earns me a few points.” 
“Points that you’ve immediately lost by being this difficult with me.” You crossed your arms. “And you did not throw yourself into danger for me—you were in the battle and you got shot.” 
“We came to save you all, and you are a part of it,” Nikolai said. “I’d say I definitely threw myself into danger for you.” 
“You’re impossible.” 
He raised his eyebrows. “Will you not even allow a dying man some honor?”
“You are not dying,” you said, “but you will be if you continue talking. Now take off your clothes and stop being so difficult so I can fix this up before you do die.” 
He tutted as he shed his jacket and worked on the rest of his clothing. Princes were apparently fond of multiple layers. “For a Healer, your bedside manner is remarkably poor.”
“Don’t worry,” Nadia piped in, “she’s always been like this.” 
“I have very fond memories of you healing my broken ribs,” Alina said dryly. 
“All of you are still alive,” you said tartly with a glance back at your fellow Grisha, “aren’t you?” 
“I think you made me wish I wasn’t,” Harshaw mused. 
You scowled again and Nikolai laughed. “That bodes very well for me, considering how much I seem to irritate you.” 
“You’re going to be fine,” you grumbled. When you turned back to him, he’d gotten down to his undershirt and unbuttoned it. Blood had spread across the white fabric, but apart from being shot, the wound wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. It’d had the chance to fester for a bit, but with Tamar’s aid it hopefully wouldn’t be a problem.  
You took a deep breath as you placed your hands on his chest—lucky as always, you could sense the bullet missed all his major organs—but Nikolai grimaced before you could even do anything. 
“Are you alright?”
“Your hands are very cold,” he said and you just shook your head. 
“How no one has wrung you by the neck is beyond me.” 
“Many have tried.” He flashed that smile again. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t add your name to the list.” 
You ignored him, taking another deep breath before you closed your eyes. You felt your power within you, the tug you’d grown accustomed to over the years, and you focused it into a single point. 
You slowly worked on healing Nikolai, making sure you went from the inside out to stop any internal bleeding before you carefully wedged the bullet out with your knife. Surprisingly, he managed to keep his mouth shut for the most part. He watched you the entire time though, wholly unyielding, and it was unnerving. 
Nikolai covered up his pain remarkably well, but you still caught the slightest grimace when you practically stuck a dagger inside him.
“Do you always try to injure your patients more when you’re healing them?” he asked innocently. 
“You typically don’t make fun of the person fixing you up,” you said, and you held up the knife, “or the one holding the blade.”
“Surely you could’ve used David to get it out,” Zoya offered lazily. “Better than practically stabbing the King of Ravka.”
“I’m not the king,” Nikolai said. “Not yet, at least.” 
“And I’m not stabbing him.” You held up the bullet with your other hand, then let it fall to the floor. “I just didn’t feel like digging around inside him.” 
Nikolai picked up the bullet, and you frowned in question. He just shrugged. “To hold onto the fond memories of this battle and the kindest, prettiest Healer I’ve ever laid eyes on.” 
Someone snickered behind you, and you turned to see all of them just standing around—Zoya, Harshaw with Oncat perched on his shoulder, Adrik ignoring his sister to watch, even Alina and Mal were still there. At least Tamar had enough sense to stay quiet while she helped you. 
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you snapped. “It’s hard to focus with you all watching me.”
Alina blinked, seeming to come back to her senses. You almost didn’t blame her—she had so much on her shoulders, it made sense to just want to stand and stare for a minute.
“Right,” she nodded, and she gestured at Zoya and the Squaller siblings as she started walking across the ship, “Adrik, Nadia, I need you all over…”
Alina's words trailed off as she got farther away, and the small crowd dissipated to find duties to carry out without their Sun Summoner to indulge their whims. 
“Thank you for your help, Tamar,” you mumbled. “I can take it from here.” 
She nodded and went off to join the others—the controlled state Nikolai had been in dissolved as she let go of the hold she had on his heart, and the slight daze in his eye went away. 
“Are you always this mean?” Nikolai asked. You turned back to find him with that same unshakable confidence, same lazy smile even in the face of it all. It was no wonder noble and commoner girls alike tripped over themselves when he returned to Ravka. 
It was no wonder Alina fell for his charms despite the tracker by her side—he always knew the right thing to say to make you feel like everything would be okay, and in the midst of Ravka’s endless war, that was a valuable quality indeed.
“I save it for irritating princes,” you remarked. With a final flourish, his wound was sewed up, and Nikolai raised his eyebrows as he touched the newly healed skin.
There was another slight wince, but he still smiled up at you. “Excellent job.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” you said.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to Grisha handiwork,” Nikolai said as he pulled himself up from the side of the ship. “Especially the healing kind.”
“It would do you good not to get used to it,” you said. “You may not be king yet, but Zoya is right. I’d appreciate it if you tried to stay out of my infirmary.”
“Do you not enjoy my company?” he asked. 
“I don’t enjoy bringing Ravka’s only heir back from the brink after every battle,” you corrected. “You’ve got a lot more weight on your shoulders now, moi tsarevich.”
His eyebrows furrowed slightly at your Ravkan. “Say that again.”
You frowned, wondering if you’d heard him correctly. Nikolai continued staring at you, so you sighed. “Moi tsarevich?”
He laughed, and that only soured your mood further. “What are you laughing about?” 
“I recognized it back during the attack but I didn’t fully think about it,” he said. “It comes out the most with your R’s. You’re not Ravkan, are you?”
You paused at his sudden subject change. “You were focusing on my accent when everyone was dying around us?” 
“Answer the question.” 
Your frown deepened. “I am in most senses of the word.”
Nikolai’s eyes narrowed. “You’re Kerch.”
Your lips twitched. “Yes, but I don’t—”
“You still haven’t lost the accent somehow,” he continued. “At least, in how you speak certain Ravkan words. Is it Ketterdam?”
“Don’t you have better things to do than quiz your Healer on her childhood?”
“Perhaps,” Nikolai said, eyes twinkling, “but if you’re really my Healer, as you said yourself, I’m surely allowed to ask as many questions as my heart desires.”
“Your heart desires no more,” you said wryly. “I have other injured to attend to. Call if you find yourself actively dying.”
To his credit, he didn’t try to fight it. Just offered that same smile that weakened knees from the Kaelish to the Shu. “I’ll be sure to ring before I’m dead and buried.”
“Put your clothes back on before you do,” you said.
“Ah, but isn’t this your reward for putting up with the irritating prince?” Nikolai asked with a slight gesture at his chest. “I’d imagine you’d want to keep an eye on your handiwork.”
That sparked a rare smile of your own, and you bowed your head. “Moi tsarevich,” you said before you walked off.
You felt Nikolai’s eyes on you even as you approached an injured First Army soldier, and after the first few preliminary questions you couldn’t help but look back. 
When you did, he was gone. 
3. Monastery of Sankt Demyan
You sat on the Spinning Wheel, off to the corner so you wouldn’t be disturbing anyone, staring at your hands as you tried to ignore the thousands of things bumping around in your mind. You’d been on the run with the Sun Summoner and a smattering of other Grisha for longer than you would have liked, but you had to accept that this was what life would be like until the Darkling was either defeated or destroyed you all. 
It was a damning sort of fate, knowing what awaited you unless the impossible was done. At least it would be quick if the nichevo’ya tore you apart. 
You grimaced. That was one thought that would do you no good—if you’d made it this far, from Os Alta under the Darkling’s control to Os Alta under Lantsov control to the White Cathedral and now to Fjerda of all places, what was one more piece of the puzzle? 
A very big piece of the puzzle, of course, and there was still the intrinsic distrust that some soldiers—and even Alina at moments, flickers of it you could see in her eyes against her will—had towards you. You, like the rest of the Grisha here that hailed from the Second Army, served the Darkling until you’d switched sides. You wanted nothing more than to see the Darkling to his grave, for Ravka to be restored and for all of this to be over. 
But you had switched sides in the first place, and you knew enough from the looks of those soldiers—they still believed that if you could betray the Darkling, you could always still betray the Sun Summoner if given enough cause. 
You didn’t try to dissuade their views through words; it wouldn’t do any good. You just hoped the long hours you spent holed up in the infirmary healing the injured would. You missed Maxim if only so you wouldn’t have to do it all alone. 
“Vlachka for your thoughts?” 
You looked up, surprised to see Nikolai Lantsov of all people. You hadn’t held a true conversation with him since you healed him after his bullet wound. He’d been busy with princely things like banishing his parents and saving Genya’s livelihood. 
You were thankful for that, at least. She’d suffered too much at the hands of the Darkling and the King. 
“You’d need a lot more than that,” you said. 
He smiled. “I’ve got quite a bit. Have you seen this place?” 
You chuckled and shrugged. “Just thinking. About our next move, about the Darkling, about what will be after this.” 
“You certainly aren’t the only one,” Nikolai said. “Lately it seems to be all anyone can think about.”
“I’m sure you’d much rather have them thinking of you,” you said wryly. 
“Oh, there’s plenty of that going on as well.” Nikolai smiled. “An even balance, I’d say.”
You chuckled again. “What brings you here, Nikolai?” 
He shrugged. “I wanted to get to know my Healer.” 
You huffed a sigh and looked away. “Why do you call me that?” 
He was awfully good at feigning innocence. “Call you what?” 
“My Healer,” you repeated. “Your Healer. I don’t understand it.” 
“I like the sound of it,” he said. “I’ll stop if you don’t like it.” 
You felt your cheeks heat and you felt his eyes on you. “It’s not that. It’s just—” 
“Because I can,” he continued. “Would you prefer lapushka? Milaya? Perhaps babya.”
You scowled as you turned back to him, and you hit him lightly on the shoulder. “You should stick to the seas and the throne, moi tsarevich. Comedy is not your strong suit.” 
“I like it when you call me that,” he mused. “I like your accent, your voice.” He sat down next to you, mildly unexpected, and you hoped you did better at hiding your surprise than it felt. “There’s something soothing about it.” 
“I am from Ketterdam,” you said after a moment. “You guessed right. Born and raised. When my abilities started showing, my parents put me on a ship to Ravka with a map, some vlachki, and the clothes on my back. I made my way to the Little Palace, pleaded my case to the Darkling, and I haven’t seen them since.”
Nikolai was silent, and you fully turned to look at him. “You wanted to know more about me. That’s who I am. A girl from Ketterdam in over her head.”
“Give yourself some credit,” Nikolai said. “You’re a woman from Ketterdam in over your head.” 
You huffed a laugh, and Nikolai’s expression softened a bit. “Why did they send you away? If that’s alright to ask, of course.” 
You shrugged. “Being a young girl in the Barrel is bad enough. If anyone figured out I was Grisha, I would either be dead in the streets, indentured before I could blink, or worse.”  
“They thought it would be safer in Ravka,” he guessed. “In the Second Army.” 
You nodded. “They couldn’t have known any of this would happen,” you said dryly. 
“Do you miss your parents?” he asked. 
“Every day,” you said quietly. “We sent letters when we could, but it was never enough. And those stopped after Alina left the Little Palace, obviously.” 
You didn’t need to recount the months of the Darkling’s madness as he searched for his Sun Summoner. Nikolai might have been Sturmhond at the time, but you didn’t doubt that he had contacts in the Little Palace. You didn’t exactly want to remember it either. 
“How about this?” Nikolai adjusted his position so he could look right at you, those smart hazel eyes enough to get lost in. You forced yourself not to. “On the slim chance that we make it through these next few weeks, when the dust has settled and I’m officially King, I’ll charter a ship for you back to Ketterdam.” 
Your head whirled back to look at him, eyes widening. There was no sign in his eyes of a false promise, only that soft smile, charming as ever. You had the sudden, misplaced urge to wind your fingers into those blonde curls and kiss him. 
“You’d do that for me?” 
He nodded. “Of course. Only the best for my Healer, right?” 
That got a laugh out of you, but the heat rose to your cheeks all the same. “That would be incredible, Nikolai. Thank you.” 
“Of course.” 
He looked—gazed— at you for a touch longer than usual before he spoke again. 
“There’s going to be a meteor shower later tonight,” Nikolai said. “One of my crew figured it out—he’s very fond of the sky, and he told me it would be… quite the sight.” 
Your eyebrows furrowed. Was he—
“I’d like to watch it with you,” Nikolai continued. “Of course, I have to put on a display with Alina, but after that,” he looked over at you, hazel eyes gleaming, “I’d like to spend the night with you.” 
It took a moment for your brain to fully process his words. “Moi tsarevich, are… you asking me on a— a date?” 
“Just Nikolai, please,” he said with a grin. “And yes, I am.” 
It seemed so trivial in the scheme of things. You were leading an impossible battle against the Darkling, and as a traitor to his throne, you would end up dead or worse if he caught you. The near entirety of the Second Army was dead, friends you’d grown up and honed your power alongside with ripped apart by nichevo’ya. Your chances for victory relied on the firebird, and no one knew a damn thing about it. 
It was trivial. It was frankly ridiculous, for the prince— the King of Ravka—to be asking you on a date, especially when it was imperative for him to present a certain image with Alina. 
But for all the triviality and ridiculousness and idiocy, you found that you’d never wanted to accept something so badly. 
So you did. You nodded, smiled, brighter than usual. Nikolai seemed to have that effect on you. 
“I’d love to.” 
“Wonderful.” Somehow, impossibly, his grin grew bigger. Nikolai took your hand and pressed a delicate kiss to it before he stood back up—you’d never been so thankful for his confidence, because you found yourself at a loss for words. “I’ll see you tonight, darling. Try not to get into too much trouble without me.” 
You nodded again, and you knew you looked like a dazed idiot. The better half of a decade spent training as a Grisha and all it took was a kiss to your hand for your brain to stop working. You really had been at war for far too long. 
Nikolai could tell every thought—or lack thereof—in your head by the overly pleased expression he wore as he walked away, and your entire face burned as you bit back your smile. 
He knew exactly what he did to you. 
4. The Bittern 
Sergei sold you out. 
That son of bitch had betrayed you all to the Darkling the first chance he got, and he’d been rewarded with a quicker death than any of you would get. 
You’d been left fighting for your lives against the Darkling’s oprichniki, Grisha, and nichevo’ya alike, and as usual, you were hopelessly outnumbered. You knelt over Adrik as Zoya, Nadia, Harshaw, and David kept the crowd of enemies back, doing your damnedest to keep him from bleeding out from his nichevo’ya bite. 
His arm hung at a bizarre angle, and you didn’t know how you would tell him and his sister you didn’t think you could save it. You were sure Genya’s whispered words were the only thing keeping him even slightly calm.
By the time the Bittern was in the air, precarious but afloat, you were about ready to collapse. It had all been too damn much, with the Darkling and Baghra and Nevsky, and now the poor schoolboy lying beneath you with an arm you couldn’t save. 
“He’ll be okay,” you murmured to nobody but yourself, wiping beads of sweat from your forehead as you laid against the side of the ship. As okay as any boy who lost his arm to a shadow monster and went through what he just did. 
Thank the Saints for Tolya keeping both Adrik’s and your heart steady during that ordeal, because you were sure your panic would have won over. 
Everyone in your motley crew was injured in some way or another, and you were the only Healer. Soon you were back on your feet, pushing the horrors of the night out of your mind as you mended lacerations and fixed up bullet wounds. 
Every so often, your eyes would drift over to Adrik. You’d healed him the best you could, but it wasn’t enough. 
And then your mind went to Nikolai. 
Nikolai. 
In the chaos of the battle and the subsequent healing haze, you hadn’t even realized he wasn’t with your group. The Pelican had taken off before you all got to the Bittern, but Nikolai wouldn’t have left Alina on her own after all he’d done to ensure her safety. 
You were almost too scared to ask, but you did anyway. 
“Alina,” you asked, slightly surprised at the sound of your voice in the silence of the night, “where’s Nikolai?” 
Her eyes were unfocused, arms crossed around her midsection for warmth despite the light that glowed beneath her skin. “The Darkling,” she murmured. 
“Wh— what did he do to him?” you continued. “What in the Saints’ name happened to him, Alina?” 
“He ruined him,” she whispered. “He turned him into a monster.” The look on Alina’s face broke you into even smaller pieces. “He turned him into a monster all because Nikolai dared to stand against him. He’s gone.” 
Your grip tightened on the side of the ship as she explained what she had to watch, and your knees threatened to buckle. 
Maybe it was stupid, but you hadn’t even realized you cared this much about the prince. The king, you had to keep reminding yourself. But the thought of him hurt—a hurt that you couldn’t heal—it tore your heart to shreds. 
Only last night you were laying on a blanket next to him, staring up at the meteor shower through the glass dome. He’d never looked more beautiful than he did then, with the streaks of light illuminating his handsome features and those hazel eyes you’d grown to appreciate. 
Few words had passed between the two of you, but once Nikolai had taken your hand in his, neither of you let go for the remainder of the night. That urge to kiss him came back in spades, but you never acted on it. 
Saints, you wished you had. 
“Do you think you can heal him?” Your voice sounded oddly foreign, but you didn’t even feel like you were in your body. Like you were watching it all happen from above, because this couldn’t have been happening. Not to Nikolai— to your Nikolai. 
You were his Healer, and he was your Nikolai. That was how it was supposed to be. 
“I don’t know,” Alina admitted, her tone strained. “My light might be able to help, but… but whenever I’ve used it against the nichevo’ya, against the volcra, I— it kills them.” 
Her voice broke on the last few words, and you wanted to hug her. Alina didn’t love him, you knew that much, but anyone could tell she’d grown close to Nikolai over the months. She was hurting just as much as you. 
You didn’t. You found that you couldn’t do much but stare into the night sky.
He was all alone. Forced into a monster, and now he was all alone. 
It felt like ages before the Bittern finally landed, everyone’s teeth stained rust-orange and bones run deep with exhaustion. Everyone was still alive when you woke up the next morning, and after another check-up on Adrik, you went off into the woods under the guise of searching for kindling. 
Really, you needed some time to yourself. After what had happened—Sergei’s betrayal, losing even more Grisha when you had little to start with, Baghra’s sacrifice, Adrik and his arm, and— and Nikolai—
It was too much. It was just too damn much. 
You’d never gotten close like this to anyone before, never moved further than some useless flirtations and a few stolen kisses with various Grisha when you were bored back at the Little Palace, and when you finally did, with the damned future King of Ravka, this is what happened. 
Guilt tore away at you as you plodded through the woods, and you let the tears you’d been holding back all night fall. You wished you’d been there for him. You wished you’d kissed him. You wished you were strong enough to take the Darkling down on your own for what he’d done. 
The hairs stood up on the back of your neck, and you heard the rustling of branches. You whirled around to the source of the sound, taking a few steps to peer through the trees, and that was when you saw it. 
Your eyes widened and your heart cracked all at once. 
“Nikolai,” you whispered. 
You’d have recognized him anywhere. Despite the shadowy veins splintering across his chest, the wings furled behind his back, claws and fangs in place of fingers and teeth—he was still your Nikolai. His blonde curls remained, his sharp cheekbones and strong jaw, even his clever eyes—even if they were black instead of hazel. 
The smear of blood around his mouth was a sharp contrast to it all. You wondered what—or who—had become his unlucky victim when he could no longer control his hunger. 
Nikolai didn’t move as you stepped closer. His dark gaze was unreadable and you wanted to sob for what the Darkling had done to him. 
“It’s me.” You continued to speak softly as you moved closer, saying your name in hopes of even a spark of recognition. “Your Healer.” 
His eyes followed your movements, his gaze falling down to your hands. He pointed at them with a clawed talon.
You held them up. “My hands?” 
You realized the blood around his mouth wasn’t the only bit of it on his body as your eyes trailed across his bare chest. There were cuts all across his arms and chest, most small but some deeper. He pointed at a thin scar near his abdomen, the only sign of the bullet wound you’d stitched up. 
He wanted you to heal him. He knew who you were. 
This time, a small sob escaped you, and your hand flew up almost on instinct to cover it. You brushed the tears brimming in your eyes as you moved closer to him, and you gently placed your hand on his arm. You felt his limb stiffen for a moment before they relaxed, and you couldn’t help your small smile. Your Nikolai was still there. 
The thin cut vanished as you healed it, and you continued to do the same for the myriad of other injuries on his body. You felt his gaze on you the entire time, and some part of it was comforting. Nikolai was still there—his humanity was still there. This was the least you could do to make him feel the part. 
Once you’d healed up the last of his wounds, you felt the glow of Grisha power inside of you. Nikolai grabbed onto your hand the moment you’d finished, and you looked up into his dark eyes as your fingers clasped around his talons.
“We’ll figure this out, Nikolai,” you whispered. “I promise.”
The corner of his lips curled up ever so slightly, the barest sign of the old smile you’d grown to love.
And then he let go of your hand, and he shot up into the air. It took only seconds for him to disappear, but your gaze remained stuck in place. 
All you could think of was Nikolai’s dark eyes and the shattered shadows beneath his skin, the feel of his taloned hand in yours.  
You would find a way to bring him back. You knew that much. 
5. The Shadow Fold 
“For Saint’s sake— catch him, Zoya!” 
“You screeching at me isn’t helping,” she snarled, her hands held out above her as she summoned wind to break Nikolai’s fall. 
It was almost laughable, how Alina ended it all with a bit of stabbing. First Mal, then the Darkling—now Soldat Sol and oprichniki alike were glowing like human lamps around the Fold. The nichevo’ya dissolved with the Darkling’s power, the same thing that created Nikolai’s monster—you screamed in general when you first saw him falling, and then you screamed at Zoya. It was a credit to her growth that she didn’t slap you first. 
Thankfully, the updraft did its job, and he only landed in the sand at concerning speeds rather than very concerning. 
You ran for him without thinking, not even feeling the jolt in your ankles as you lept from the skiff onto the sands. You no longer had to fear the Fold—the various Sun Soldiers that had gotten Alina’s powers had done away with the remainder in no time—and even if you did, you would brave a thousand volcra for Nikolai. 
He looked so small, so vulnerable laying there in the sand, only clad in torn pants and a myriad of bruises. The last of the shadows receded when you finally reached him, and you didn’t try to stop the tears as they flowed freely down your cheeks. 
“Nikolai,” you whispered, falling to your knees in the sand next to him, “Nikolai, can you hear me?” 
You cradled his head in your hands, tears splattering in the sand around you, and then his eyes opened. 
His beautiful hazel eyes opened and looked right at you, his lips tugging into a smirk as he said your name. 
“Would you say this is an important princely thing?” His voice was husky, damaged from whatever dark thing that had taken a hold of him, but the usual lilt was there. “Or just another injury?” 
You broke into full on sobs, unabashedly and unashamed as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into a hug. You felt his arms around you as well, and he rubbed circles on your back. 
“I had time to think,” Nikolai murmured, “and I think I’ll settle on lapushka.” 
Darling. 
You couldn’t help but laugh, and you moved away from him just so you could look at him, gaze at him, never forget his beautiful features. 
“I’m so glad you’re okay.” 
“I knew I would be,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “I had you looking out for me.” 
“Stop,” you said, your voice watery. “I can’t keep crying in front of you.” 
“I think you’ve more than earned it, lapushka.” 
You laughed again as you shook your head. “How do you feel? Can you still move all your limbs?” 
Nikolai took his hand in yours, fingers intertwining with yours. His gaze didn’t move from you. “Limbs are fine.” 
You let your smile shine unabashed as you squeezed his hand, thankful for the lack of talons. “Can you sit up?” 
Nikolai visibly winced at the effort, but he managed with your help. “My chest hurts quite a bit.” 
“You’ve definitely broken some ribs,” you murmured, “but it’s nothing I can’t fix up.” 
“There’s nothing you can’t fix,” Nikolai said. 
“Careful with all the praise. I might get used to it.” 
“Good.” 
You glanced over to see Tolya and Zoya moving across the sand towards you and you looked back at Nikolai. 
“We’re going to get you back on the skiff, Nikolai,” you said. “I’ll get you healed up and then we’ll get you some clothes. Alright?” 
“I told you,” Nikolai said, “this is your reward for putting up with the irritating prince.” 
“That was for the prince,” you said, running a hand through his blonde curls to untangle them. “My reward for putting up with irritating kings is to make sure they’re clothed and healed.” 
His smile shone brighter than anything Alina could conjure up. 
The Darkling’s Skiff 
You ended up below deck with Nikolai, Tolya, an unconscious Alina and Mal, and the Darkling’s body. It normally wouldn’t have been a cheery atmosphere, but you were just thankful to be alive after all you’d done. Thankful that Nikolai was alive and himself and that the Darkling was dead. 
A First Army uniform was folded next to Nikolai’s makeshift cot where you sat next to him, and Tolya’s companionable silence was appreciated as he stayed by Alina and Mal to ensure they stayed alive. 
“You broke a few ribs in your fall,” you murmured, your hands placed on his chest, “but overall, I’d say you made out pretty well.” 
“Yes,” Nikolai said wryly, looking at his hands. Faint black lines ran across each of his fingers, where claws had torn through his skin. Though the other shadowy marks had faded, these appeared to be permanent. “Pretty well.” 
“You know what I mean, Nikolai.” You moved your hand over his ribs and focused your power—by the slight grimace on his face, the itch that came along with Grisha healing, you knew they were mending back together. “You’re still alive. You’re you again. That means everything.” 
“And your hands are still freakishly cold,” he mused. You smiled. 
A moment passed before he spoke again. 
“You know,” Nikolai said, and you felt his eyes on you again, “I remember everything. Everything that I did when I was that… that thing.” 
Your throat bobbed, but you nodded, encouraging him on. 
“I went to you,” he said, “and… you helped me. You weren’t afraid—you understood what I meant, and you healed me.” 
“Of course I did,” you said softly. A smile tugged at your lips. “I am your Healer, after all.” 
Nikolai placed his hand over one of yours, and your power wavered for a moment as your heart stuttered. 
“One of your ribs is still broken, Nikolai,” you said. “I have to—” 
“I love you,” he interrupted. Your eyes snapped to him, and you thought you misheard him. 
“What?” 
“I love you,” he repeated, as if it came as easily to him as breathing. “Forgive me for the lack of ballads and sonnets on how to express it—I plan to remedy that as soon as we’re back in Os Alta. But I love you, and it’s the one thing I’m sure of at this moment.” 
You continued to stare at him, as if you’d suddenly forgotten how to speak. Nikolai was no Corporalnik, but you were sure he could hear how loudly your heart was beating. 
“It’s alright if you don’t feel the same,” Nikolai said, “or if you’re not ready. I’m a very patient man.” 
It was like your limbs had suddenly regained the ability to move, because something clicked in your mind. You took his face in your hands and you kissed him with a brazen fierceness you didn’t even know you had. 
For a man with two bruised ribs and one broken one, he kissed you back with the same intensity, if not more. You poured all your fear, all your anxiety, all your worries about him into the kiss, reveling in the warmth of his lips and his hands and—
Tolya cleared his throat. “We’re nearly out of the Fold.” 
You pulled away as quickly as it had started, Nikolai looking very pleased with himself as you fixed the collar of your kefta and looked over at him with eyes that were surely more pupil than iris. 
“Thank you, Tolya,” you said, and you cleared your throat as well. Good of him to ignore the two of you. Embarrassing of you to nearly forget about your surroundings when you looked at Nikolai. 
“Yes,” Nikolai said, mirth in his voice, “thank you, Tolya.”
You rolled your eyes as you turned back to him, your lips still burning from his kiss, and you settled your hands back on Nikolai’s chest. 
“No more interruptions,” you said. “I’ve got to get you healed and dressed before we’re off the sand.” 
His eyes twinkled. “Whatever you say, lapushka.” 
You had no idea what was next. The Sun Summoner died on the Fold, the Darkling’s reign of terror was finally over, and Nikolai was to be King. You didn’t know where you would fit in, though you were sure he would find a place. 
But you loved Nikolai, and by the Saints, Nikolai loved you. 
And for now, that was more than enough. 
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honeydazai · 10 months
Text
୨୧·࣭࣪̇˖ 𝆬  ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴄᴜʀᴠʏ ɢɪʀʟꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ 𝆬 𓏸
feat.: Dazai, Chūya, Fukuzawa, Kunikida, Fyodor, Nikolai, Poe, Mushitarō, Jōno
warnings: nsfw content, f!reader, some brief mentions of insecurity related to appearance/weight, breeding kink, pregnancy mentions, thigh fucking, body worship,
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DAZAI is touchy on a good day and outright clingy on a bad one; really, it's only natural that he can't — won't — keep his hands to himself, spindly fingers caressing your every curve, no matter where you are or who else is there. Still, his obvious attraction to you only proves that, to him, you're drop-dead gorgeous, right? You can't be mad at him for being enamoured with his own girlfriend, yes? (You can and, in fact, you should be mad when he keeps on groping you or pulling you into the Agency's storage room for some quick dry humping, completely unashamed.)
In case you ever worry about not being worthy of being with him — which, really, isn't a reasonable concern, given how, according to Kunikida, you're a saint for even putting up with Dazai for that long —, he's quick to cut your concerns down with a gentle chuckle. He's fond of all women, he's said so before, and he doesn't get why you'd ever compare yourself to any other woman and think of yourself as less worthy, less gorgeous, when, obviously, you're this breathtaking.
“But why, dear, you're being awfully cruel today, slapping my hands away like that. It's merely because you're so awfully pretty that I cannot keep my hands off you. At least let me kiss you, yes, love?”
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It doesn't come as a surprise that CHŪYA literally worships you; to him, you're perfect in every way imaginable. He's able to pick you up and carry you around easily, even without activating For The Tainted Sorrow; when you worry about being too heavy, he merely scoffs, immediately shaking his head in response.
He's just shy of insulted when you ask, voice trembling, whether your stretch marks, thick thighs or round hips bother him; really, who do you take him for? He's not twelve — and even if he was, he'd still think of you as breathtaking, appearance- and personality-wise. If you don't seem to believe him, he'll gladly spend an hour or three between your legs, pressing soft kisses to your skin, not forgetting about even one stretch mark, scar or beauty mark you might be insecure about. If, by the end of him all but worshipping your body, you finally do believe him, he'll gladly make you come on his tongue, too.
“Hm? You still don't look quite convinced, baby. 'm afraid I'll have to continue, then. Gotta make sure you know just how pretty I think you are by the end of this, so I'll need you to be patient.”
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FUKUZAWA is not the most expressive man, and yet he somehow manages to make sure that you never feel unloved. His adoration for you is obvious in the way his hands gently rest on your upper arm, on the small of your back or on your hip sometimes; in the way he occasionally leans down to gently press his lips to your forehead; in the way he somehow manages to pick up on each of your moods without you having to say something.
His brows furrow into a frown when you first mention your insecurities, and yet his expression softens oh so much when he cups your cheek with one hand, calloused thumb smoothing over your jaw in a soothing gesture. He's so very factual about immediately naming everything that, in his eyes, makes you beautiful, that you really have no choice but to believe him. To get you to smile once more, he adds but a few unexpectedly lewd comments, too, such as how you're absolutely ethereal looking when undressed and on his lap, too.
“My dearest, I assure you, your beauty, inside and out, has captured my heart completely. I adore the way your hair shines, I love the sparkle in your eye when you spot a dessert you're aching to eat. I love each curve of your body and how beautiful and feminine it makes you look; truly, there is nothing about you that is not breathtaking to me.”
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Despite KUNIKIDA's rather strict ideals, his note book never held even a single word about your appearance; your personality is what matters most to him, your opinions and what you think is right and what is wrong, not whether your stomach shows in the dress you just bought. You're the most beautiful woman on the planet in his eyes and, even though he's just a bit irritated when you doubt the truthfulness of his words, his frown melts when his gaze meets yours.
He'll gladly tell you just how much he's in love with everything about you, in great detail, even — how gorgeous your hair is, how he's feeling nothing but utmost adoration for your thighs, how your stomach and arms are pure perfection —, and his voice is so utterly earnest that you have no choice but to trust that he's more than one hundred percent serious about it.
“I promise you with complete honesty that you have nothing to be worried about. Please, my love — you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. You're perfect in every way imaginable. Please trust me when I say that I adore everything about you.”
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FYODOR is rather enamoured with your curves; how could he not be? Your softer figure contrasts nicely to his own thin body, gentle roundness compared to his sharp angles, and, whenever his fingers gently graze over your skin, he doesn't have to worry about meeting hard bone — everything about you is soft and plush. Admittedly, he is fond of pretty people, which is why he's quick to raise an eyebrow if you ever mention any insecurity related to your appearance, not hesitating to tell you that, in his eyes, you look ethereal at all times, and some stretch marks or anything you could possibly worry about won't change that.
He appreciates your hips most of all; the pleasant roundness of them ties into his breeding kink and, really, you can't possibly blame him for thinking of starting a family with you when you're this enticing, now can you? Short blunt nails dig into said curves when he thrusts into you, his narrow hips flush against your plush ones, your knees nearly brushing against your shoulders with the mating press he's positioned you in and, yes, he'll make sure to fill you up at least two times tonight while soft praise falls from pale lips, something about how pretty you are, how very gorgeous.
“My, my, how lucky I am to have such a pretty woman by my side, hm? Your moans are so very sweet, dear. Do me a favour and do not try to hide yourself from me, darling; you are most beautiful — always, yet especially right now.”
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NIKOLAI, as always, is a menace when it comes to showing his affection for you. Really, he refuses to be blamed for the way his hands wander on your pretty body, exploring each inch of it, no matter whether you're in public or in private. He's not one to be shy, after all, and you shouldn't be either — though, well, if you do get flustered by him outright groping you all the time, he'll certainly tease you for it. You're just so soft and pleasant to touch, honestly, he has no choice but to!
He most enjoys resting his hand on your hip or your butt, laying his head down onto your chest or grabbing the soft flesh of your thighs. Speaking of thighs — surely you'll indulge him when he aches to fuck them, yes? The feeling of your inner thighs squeezing his dick is as close to heaven as he's ever going to get. He doesn't get why you'd ever be insecure about your appearance; you're the prettiest little thing he's ever laid eyes on, don't you know? Luckily, he doesn't hesitate to all but overload you with compliments, albeit some of them eventually go back into lewd territory with how he's swooning about your tight little cunt—
“You're so very sweet, doll—, to think you yourself don't see just how adorable you are, hah! How could you be anything but perfect when you're mewling so cutely underneath me? Ah—, my, my, perhaps I should tell you this later when you're not aching to come, hm? Bet you can hardly understand a word of what I'm saying right now.”
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First and foremost, POE has fallen for you mainly because of your personality — it's merely what matters most to him. That, however, doesn't mean that he is not appreciative of your body; really, it's quite the opposite. Even though the compliments falling from his lips sound oh so eloquent, he honestly struggles to focus on anything but your curves, on the way the fabric of your clothes hugs your body just right, on the way he just aches to touch you, even though the mere thought gets him flustered.
Pink quickly rises to his face, flushing his cheeks with heat when he gets too caught up in fantasies, whether they're sweet and domestic or of more lewd nature. Even though you're in a relationship, he can't help but scold himself internally for the way his brain stutters to a complete halt just at the sight of your plush thighs. If you ever doubt yourself, he's awfully understanding, his tone soft while he reassures you that you're perfect in every way imaginable — he's not unfamiliar with self-doubt himself, and he wants to make sure you're aware that his love for you is absolutely unconditional.
“Trust me, my dear, I know how you feel, and it pains me to see you unhappy. Please—, you're gorgeous in every way. Each time I look at you I fall in love all over again. Please, trust my words, yes? If there's anything I can do to help raise your confidence, please tell me. Would you enjoy going shopping, perhaps?”
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Your mere existence causes MUSHITARŌ suffering. Really, how is he supposed to concentrate on some surely awfully important task when you, his sweet sweet girlfriend, are next to him, forcing all his attention onto you just by being present? You're just so pretty today — today and every day —, he's able to feel his cheeks flush with heat just from glancing at you for too long, and he's really unsure just how much longer he's able to fight the urge to kiss you.
If you ever mention anything about feeling insecure about your appearance or weight, he's honestly caught off-guard. For some reason, he didn't expect you to worry about anything like that; not when, in his eyes, there's nothing for you to worry about. His first instinct, when you mention how, occasionally, you feel like you're too round and soft and your arms and stomach might be too big, is to scoff, though he's quick to apologise for his rather rude reaction. He's never been good at comforting people, and yet he tries, a little awkwardly, that he has never seen anyone quite as angelic as you before.
“Now—, love, please, quit looking all sad, will you? My apologies for my terrible reaction. This was merely a topic I did not expect — truly, whenever I look at you, I could swear an angel has descended from Heaven just for me, and yet you doubt yourself. I really don't understand it, but I assure you there is nothing you must feel insecure about.”
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While JŌNO, on a purely logical level, understands why you might occasionally be insecure about your body, he, in all honesty, also does not get it. To him, you're nothing short of gorgeous; your skin is soft and smooth underneath his calloused hands whenever he touches you, your hips are plush when he holds you by them, and he might just instinctively chuckle the first time you meekly ask whether something as unimportant as stretch marks on your skin bothers him. Really, who do you think he is? Some prepubescent boy? Honestly, now; your concerns are ridiculous enough to make him huff out a laugh.
Your body is the perfect contrast to his own taut muscle and, even though he doesn't openly admit it, he quite enjoys how soft you are, how gentle, and how he's able to lay his head onto your thighs or chest to relax, hair falling into his eyes while you run your fingers through white and red strands. Being this close to you is the most comforting thing he's ever known; it feels like — you feel like — coming home.
“Haven't I already told you you're perfectly fine the way you are? I wouldn't have fallen for you otherwise. Besides, my opinion is the only one that has to matter to you, right? There's no reason for you to keep worrying about it, then.”
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patrollingboston · 20 days
Note
Hiya! Could you write a fic where we have to share a bed with Price?
Much love ❤️
An awkward conversation // Price x reader fluff
guilty pleasure one bed trope, this is not meant to be realistic!
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After completing gruelling week on a mission, You, Gaz, Soap and Price were headed back to the pickup location to take you all back to base. The conversations being shared were short and snappy due to everyone’s exhaustion. Gaz was fast asleep snoring like bear and it was driving you insane. Soap had earphones in as Captain Price drove along the long stretch of road ahead whilst you were directing him from the passenger seat.
A loud crackle buzzed through everyone’s radio; Gaz snapped awake as everyone focussed on the voice on the other end of the radio.
“Bravo 0-6?”
“Price, you there?”
“What is it Laswell?”
Price held down the button on his radio whilst his eyes remained focused on the road ahead. He drove with one hand on the steering wheel occasionally looking over at you. Everyone’s curiosity was peaked as the mission was over, why would Laswell need to contact them now?
“Nikolai has a problem with exfil, his helicopter has needed some uh, um emergency maintenance. We can’t fly you back to base until tomorrow morning, can you all find a motel nearby just to rest up for a night?”
“Oh, fucking hell- “
Gaz groaned, Soap joining him. You flopped your head back against the headrest in protest. Everyone just wanted to go home, sleep in their own beds, eat normal warm food and be alone.
“Is there no other option? I think we all just want to be back ASAP Laswell.”
“Fraid’ not, earliest we can get to you is 8am tomorrow.”
“Alright, we will sort something out.”
Price said taking his hand off the steering wheel for a second to rub his temples, you glanced over noticing how tired his eyes looked. Everyone’s did.
With that statement the radio cut off. Everyone’s eyes were on Price as he was magically going be able to solve the issue.
“Well, what’s the plan?”
Soap chimed in, peeking his head round from the back of the car.
“There’s a cheap motel not too far, look we aren’t going to be there long. It’s already late, it’s just to clean up and get some rest. I know it’s not ideal.”
“I’m sure we can survive one more night, at least it will be warm?”
You spoke, trying to lift the mood of your fellow soldiers only to be met by awkward silence.
Price tapped on his phone to get directions to the motel. He was right about needing to clean up. Everyone was in their gear, dirt and mud were splashed over everyone’s clothes and face.
“I miss real food.”
Gaz said, Soap nodded in agreement as he began bumbling on about a restaurant near his house.
10 minutes later the car pulled up into the carpark for the motel. There wasn’t much to say about it, it didn’t look too bad from the outside but in your current state of tiredness you would sleep in a bed made of cardboard.
“Gaz, Soap go get us rooms, we will unload the car.”
Price ordered, Gaz and Soap split off entering the reception as you and him began lugging in everyone’s duffel bags. It was quite sparse, a few potted plants and a strikingly red carpet that frankly was hurting your weary eyes.
“Cap? They only have 2 rooms.”
You placed the bag down you were carrying and peered over to soap who was stood speaking to the receptionist.
Price sighed so loudly you could hear it from across the room.
“Well, we can go two and two, or we can take a chance on the other motel, think it was about 20 minutes away.”
You stepped over the pile of bags to join the conversation.
“I don’t mind sharing, please I just want to shower and lie down.”
You said rubbing your eyes, smearing the warpaint from earlier.
“Who goes with who?”
You suddenly felt everyone’s gaze on you.
“You pick F/N you’re the only woman here.”
“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?”
You teased as you watched Gaz’s face drop.
“No that’s not what I meant, c’mon.”
You weighed the pros and cons of each person in your head, quickly ruling out soap for how often he liked to flirt with people, that could never end well. Gaz was an option? But you recently discovered he snores and you needed sleep. That only left Price, your captain. You didn’t mind him, in fact over time you had grown quite fond of him despite his grumpy attitude and hat collection.
“I’ll go with Price.”
Price’s eyes widened ever so subtly; it seemed like he was taken back you chose him. His face quickly returned back to normal but you still managed to see the change in it.
A few moments later you stood outside in the hallway shoulder to shoulder with price as he wrestled with the dodgy room key.
“Sonofa- got it.”
He said before cracking a little smile and barging the door open.
You stepped inside looking at the (one again bright red) carpet laden with cigarette burns, you shrugged the bags onto the floor before going into the rest of the room and standing beside price who looked to be in deep in thought. You followed his gaze to find it.
One bed.
One bed that looks like it was made of concrete, with white ruffled sheets and 2 sad pillows.
Your stomach sunk, you had read about this in books and seen it in films and now it was happening to you.
You gulped loudly, praying Price didn’t sense your hesitation.
“I’ll sleep on the floor- “
He said sharply, it caught you off guard. What do you do now? Do you object? Do you share the bed? Do you let him stay on the floor?
“No, I know you’re just as tired as me, I don’t care, please.”
You said gesturing to the bed. He turned around and gave you a kind smile before he sat on the end and started removing his boots.
“I’m going to hop in the shower.”
He nodded as you stepped into the backroom locking the door behind you. That shower might have been the most heavenly experience of your life. Washing away weeks build-up of dirt on yourself. The warm water flowed down your back; you could have stayed in there forever. You stepped out wrapping the white towel around yourself as you reached for your bag. You searched through it trying to find something you could comfortably sleep in. Most stuff in there needed a wash as it was covered in dirt or sweat. You cursed under your breathe as you unlocked the bathroom door and peeked your head out.
“Hey Price?”
He was sat on the bed with his arms folded across his chest, intently watching the little crappy tv.
“Mhm?”
He said his gaze finding you, you could have sworn his eyes faltered and fell up and down you. Pushing back down the blush creeping up your cheeks you responded.
“Do you have anything I could sleep in? My stuff is all uh in need of a wash.”
“Oh, um let me look.”
He hopped off the bed and bent over to rummage around in his backpack before throwing you a khaki green shirt.
“That work?”
“Cheers.”
You closed the bathroom door again before changing into the shirt. It hung below your knees like a nightgown. It was so comfy compared to the mountains of gear you had been wearing for the previous week. It smelt like him too, it was comforting.
You walked into the room; Price had changed now. He was wearing a tight-fitting grey shirt and some baggy shorts. You had never seen him this casual, it was weird but you also liked it however you couldn’t deny how good he looked in his gear too but you would never let anyone know you thought this.
You peered over at the clock.
1:23
Price was just beginning to pull back the duvet on the left side of the bed. Would it be awkward if you did the same? God, it felt like watching an awkwardly married couple get into bed. You both climbed into the bed, the space between you was almost amusing, it was clear you were both trying to avoid one another.
“Night F/N.”
He grumbled, shuffling around to get comfy.
“Night!”
You chirped back, your voice slightly breaking in doing so.
The both of you were so tired you fell straight asleep.
 You woke up to some movement beside you in the early hours of the morning. Your eyes fluttered trying to gather your surroundings only to find yourself wrapped in someone’s arms. Realizing whose arms, it was you were torn on what to do. You decided to stay still, letting yourself take in the warmth. You lay there comfortably, his breathe tickling the top of your head as you fell asleep trying not to think about the awkward conversation this would lead to next morning.
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