#i feel like at this point being aroace is harder that being trans FOR ME

[transenbyconfessions]

I am so confused by everything

Gender has always been a meaningless concept to me. All my life, i could never understand why the words "man" and "woman" meant so much to people. My sister gets upset like crazy if you tell her she's not a real girl for any reason (she's cis but not typically "feminine"), while I'm just here like whatever. People have told me that a lot, I never cared. Some people have taken me for a guy online when I had no mic on, I play and roleplay any character gender, too. I even have a trans guy character and I think that playing a trans girl would actually be harder for me. Because I have no clue what being a girl is. it's just a word, right ? Idk anymore. The thing is, I don't really experience dysphoria. I got hugely disgusted when I found out all the details about menstrual cycles other that periods and I'm still fighting to get that info out of my head, but I put that on my control freak kinda personality because i hate the idea that my body could influence my emotion and thinking or anything really. But I don't really experience euphoria either ? Like people can call me whatever and I don't care, it's not gonna make me feel good in my skin or whatever. Ok no I really dislike being called a woman expecially, but girl is fine, and I don't mind gendered language being directed towards me. I don't really know what I am, I've looked up a lot of labels and none of them seem to fit. I guess unlabeled would be the way to go but that doesn't really feel like me either. I know I was kinda happy when I found a guy character with the same name as me, because that means it was kinda gender-neutral in some way. Also my mom literaly asked me if I was a trans guy once so I guess I don't give a lot of girl vibes lol Gender is too hard a concept for me to wrap my head around. I just wish it didn't exist. I wish I could just be a person and not have to think about it, but I feel like I have to be something so I just pick the easiest path I guess. But I don't know what I would do if I was given the opportunity to move somewhere no one knows me. Would I still be a girl ? Keep my name, my style, my attitude ? It's not like I'm overly gendered as a human being, and I'm aroace so potential partners are out of the way. But I don't feel like going through any kind of transition. But I'm also almost thirty and people are gonna stop refering to me as a girl at some point and start using woman instead and it already irks me so much. I don't know. I'm confused, and lost, and I'm autistic and I hate change so I want to stay a girl until I'm 100 years old and I don't want people to call me a woman because the word is making me feel gross but I don't want to be called a guy or a man either and I don't feel like any enby labels that exists I just want to be a person. I feel like every label has expectations and I can't fill them.

#trans #transgender #nonbinary #non binary #non-binary #nb #enby #questioning #autism #autistic #neurodiverse #neurodivergent #aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #aroacespec #arose

[cobble-stone]

🔥 - How has the way you think about yourself changed since you realized you were queer?

🌼 - If you used any other labels before your current one, what were they?

🌾 - How queer do you think you look? Would it be obvious to someone that you were queer if they looked at you?

🌱 - How would your younger self act if your current self told them they were queer?

💙 - When you first learned about the Queer community, did you immediately realize ‘That’s me!’ Or did you consider yourself a ‘really good ally’ for some time?

🔥: When I first figured out that I was queer it kinda like- it was very much a “ah. so that’s why Things Are the way they Are,” with the way they Are being the reason i felt so- other, to everyone else. I later figured out the reason for said othered feeling was actually because i was autistic. Figuring out I was trans was more- it was a lot harder and not an immediate “yes that’s me,” and while there’s been difficult parts, it’s largely been a very good thing for me. I started putting more effort into how I look/present because I wasn’t just completely apathetic towards my appearance, I actually- had ways that I wanted to look and realized I could feel happy in my appearance instead of just trying my best to ignore it

🌼: I identified as a lesbian for like….three? Years? From when I was 12 until I was 15. It turns out I was not a lesbian, I just didn’t want a romantic relationship where I was “the woman,” which meant even just the thought of dating men was very uncomfortable for me. I started questioning my gender properly when I was 15, and realized I was nonbinary. I just identified as gay and nonbinary but like gay in the “every attraction I experience is gay” way. Now I’m just unlabeled and a trans man, I’ve tried finding labels but like- nothing fits? I’ve tested out identifying as aroace, as gay, as bi, as combinations, and like. I’ve just come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter sexuality is a social construct I can just do whatever. I have no canonical sexuality feel free to impose whatever headcanons you want onto me as long as you know they aren’t canon

🌾: I used to look a lot more queer, but I decided to go mostly stealth at college (I’ll tell people I’m trans if it’s relevant but like- most people just accept i’m just Some Guy), I was only really openly trans in high school because I had to be in order for people to know I was a guy. The dyed hair (I have an underbleach) and my general style is like- vaguely edgy. Like if someone diluted an alt kid. I don’t immediately look queer but I also don’t immediately look straight. I used to put in more effort but like I’m tired man I don’t want to get all dressed up just for class every day

🌱: I think if I told (deadname) or Blue that she turned out to be a guy she would be. Very confused. I was not a tomboy as a kid at all, I honestly had very little concept of gender or sexuality for a long time. It used to be kinda distressing for me and it was why I was hesitant to identify as a trans guy for a long time- it’s kinda the common stereotype for a trans person to always just know, and I didn’t just know. How I see it now is like- (deadname) and Blue are separate from who I am now, (deadname) and Blue weren’t a guy, but I, Cobalt, sure am.

💙: Kinda both! When I first realized I was queer it was cause I saw “women could kiss women,” took the Strange Discomfort at the idea of dating men, did the math wrong, and immediately went “ah yes. i’m a lesbian.” I then very much was “just a good ally” about trans people for three years, to the point where my logic was “I can’t possibly be trans, that’d be transphobic of me.” This was especially doubled because I was just starting to poke at my transgenderness right as the end of the truscum era of the trans community, and like- my general opinion was “everyone is valid regardless of their identity or dysphoria but *I* can’t be trans *I* don’t have dysphoria.” (despite the fact that i did have dysphoria, it just wasn’t the stereotype of dysphoria just being “overwhelmingly bad body dysphoria” so I thought I didn’t .”

#cobble’s tones #ask games #hello anon hope you’re having a good day :) #oh god i talked for a while. my bad kdgdkdjdh i have lots to say about my trans identity #long post

[divagonzo]

Little bit of Ace History***

... for those who are doing headcanons for Pride month.

*** History being from the last generation. So... recent history.

***************

While Asexual was in the grad school text books, it was, as a queer orientation, on the fringes for considerably longer than Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans. It wasn’t spoken of except in queer spaces and even then, it was more of an after-thought. Like the Mesopotamians (and Mayans independently) - people couldn’t and, somewhat, can’t fathom those who don’t feel sexual attraction (or those who don’t feel romantic attraction or some who have no attraction romantically or sexually.)

Since society is built on populations, the presumption that everyone wants sex or engages in it and those who don’t are aberrant - is a hindrance to those of us who don’t feel it (or, like some, like the idea in theory but not in practice, or those who it’s once in a lifetime (my spouse) or those who have to know someone for a long period of time before thinking, “Would I consider getting physical with them?” (aka Me!) or those who have sexual repulsion - and they are as valid as anyone else under the Asexual spectrum umbrella.)

Asexual was, originally, under the Bisexual umbrella - and like many Bi people of the earlier eras (and sadly still happening) being told they aren’t queer enough for A) The community and B) not Gay enough to be included. (Hence my absolute loathing to gatekeepers for having gone through it back in the early 90s!) Toss in the derision towards bi/pan people who “are selfish/greedy/can’t make up their mind / teases / etc” and you have a boiling pot of potential gatekeeping, especially for those who could really use some informational resources so they know that they aren’t broken & nothing is wrong with how they are.

Yes, Asexual was listed on the fringes but it wasn’t until the early Naughts that the word even made it to notice - much less being more accepted openly. But the biggest kicker is that while being Gay was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Model (what is used by American Psychiatry for diagnosing not normal behavior) in 1973..... being Asexual wasn’t removed until 2013.

Yes, you read that right. 2013. The first published college text on Asexuality wasn’t published until 2012 - and written from a heterosexual white male perspective (and it’s a bit rubbish by comparison to casual anecdotes from those in the community and on AVEN. I know. I bought the book and read it.) While the elderly spinster dowager is more socially acceptable, being a man/male and being Ace in a society that says that men have to be hypersexual.... is harmful to them, too, especially when they are too hindered to be able to come out and say, “I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone.”

Having no sexual attraction to others was considered aberrant behaviors. And for some, it still is, especially those who think that Ace people (and Aros too, y’all aren’t being forgotten!) should be sexually available to anyone and everyone - and some sods think that the attitude of “You’ve not met the right one” or “I’ll f* you to fix you” is helpful and not actively oppressive or harmful.

Obviously (insert professional quality eyeroll here) people need medications because they don’t want to f* every walking human who passes by - which is toxic even in a hypersexual society. There must be something wrong with them if they aren’t out at a bar looking for a casual hook-up / one night stand.

<shudder>

Why do I bring this up?

I read a posting and it mentioned a fictional character being out as AroAce in 1994.

Jessica Rabbit was a thing back in 1988. But the terms for her besides the negative ones weren’t there ‘til a decade later, if not longer.

While I love the idea that this knowledge was available in the era, I have to take Umbridge (while not detracting from their post) that this is vastly incorrect and harmful to those of us who lived through this era and struggled for decades (yes, I said decades) to know that being Ace is fine and dandy. It’s hard to research harder when you don’t even know a starting point to go look this information up - especially when it was mostly limited to just blooming Queer studies courses in colleges and everything was either published journals or hidden inside academic speak of graduate schools. (I took a couple of undergrad psychology classes and I went back and looked and the terms weren’t even in the books. This was 1995, for those in Rio Linda and Blackpool.)

There’s plenty of my peers who are just now coming to understand that the feelings of dissociation, loathing, guilt, apathy aren’t because they are with the wrong person. It’s performative behavior towards others and personally harmful. It’s letting people f* you so they are content when it’s personally harmful (especially if consent isn’t completely clear.

What would have been said in 1994 was that “he must be gay” even if he was dating a girl and nothing was happening physically. “She must be his beard” would have been said too if performative behaviors weren’t happening. Why? Because being Asexual wasn’t a thing in the era AT ALL. It wasn’t even considered.

Hell, even now there are people*** who will not believe you when you say that you don’t want to have sex - as men or women or non-binary. No, they must fix  you by non-consenting means & their warped logic for the resultant trauma will magically make you want to have sex with people.

Ewwww. Hell no.

I have someone I know who has been repeatedly subjected to their consent being violated when they said no - because they are Ace and people (both of the binary for this person) refused to take No for an answer and.... well, you can fill in the blanks.

Or the not funny bits of “Oh you must be a potato” and other derision of you not being potentially sexually available for other people. This especially goes for those who are Heteroromantic Ace people - like family I have.

I was the first one they came out to, because I’ve been pretty loud about it in SM spaces. They felt safe to say such to me, especially with an, “OK. Cool” reply to it.

I didn’t want them to struggle mentally and emotionally (when they were already neurodivergent) thinking something was wrong with them by not wanting to have icky squicky physical relationships. But by being there, armed with knowledge now it saved them decades of grief and emotional turmoil.

My radical kindness is being the space the baby aces need so they can have a human resource for them, so they know they aren’t broken, that they are valid and accepted, and that they don’t have to behave in certain ways to feel accepted - especially in the queer community.

So yeah, sex might be cool but how about acceptance of people who lived in the era who didn't have the world at their fingertips to know themselves, much less the language to even have a label that fit.

#Ace discourse #Ace History #cw: #cw: generic mentions of non-consenting behaviors #I didn't wish to detract from the Cho post #but I couldn't let it slide either #it rankles me that some think that the knowledge has always been widely know #and accepted #when that's a load of rubbish

[astralaspecs]

Happy Ace Week!

[Photo ID: An image of 4  squares of text

Square 1: An image of the demisexual, greysexual, asexual, and aroace flags. The text reads, “It’s that time of year again...” in the center

Square 2: An image of Mod Moon (@nebula-bf) winking at the viewer with his hand outstretched. Just above his palm are the words “Today, October 20th, 2019 marks the start of Asexual Awareness Weekm currently known as Ace Week.”

Square 3: An image of Mod Bethany, Mod Moon,  @nicetomeetyouimqueer​, and @queerture​ standing next to one another, finger guns pointing outwards. The text above them reads, ‘There is no ‘universial ace experience’.”

Square 4 An image of Mod Moon leaning casually on the left side of the square. The text next to him reads, “This week, we celebrate and raise awareness about various ace-specific identities such as: asexual, demisexual, graysexual, aromantic asexuals, oriented aromantic asexuals, asexuals who use the SAM, asexuals who do NOT use the SAM...and more!”]

[Photo ID: an image of Mod Moon posing with one hand on his hip and the other hand on his head, looking frustrated. Next to him are the words, “Common myths about the asexual community DEBUNKED”]

[Photo ID: An image of 4  squares of text

Square 1: An image of Mod Moon staring pensively at nothing in particular with a finger to his mouth as though lost in thought. Next to him, the text reads, “*Literally anything that alludes to asexuality being a white person thing, or G*d orbid, a white supremacists dream*”, then underneath that text is “It’s EXTREMELY racist to erase the identities of aces of color just because it doesn’t fit your idea of an ace person.” Then, “No. Just. No.”

Square 2: An image of Mod Moon now staring upwards, a finger to the side of his head. The text next to him reads “A small but vocal numble of bad people does not represent the whole community, and that applies to ALL communities. Either stop cherry picking or keep ‘Ace Tumblr’ out of your mouth.”

NOTE: This is not me saying that Asexuals are incapable of being homophobic, or that it shouldn’t be called out I am saying that yall seem to go way harder on bigotry in the ace community than yall do in others.

Square 3: An image of Mod Moon staring cheerfully into the center of the screen with a yellow mug in his hand. Next to him are the words, “ ‘Aces can’t have sex or be in relationships with non-asexual people.’ ‘Ace people can, and some do, have sex. Asexuality is not a matter of your sexual orientation, not if you fuck or not. Non asexual people will NEVER have the right to determine what an ace person does or who they’re in a relationship based on their orientation.”

Square 4: An image of Mod Moon staring Northeast with one hand aimlessly in the air. The text reads, “*Anything along the lines of asexuality being a disorder or caused by a hormone imbalance or medication (aka the Zoloft jokes that were going around). ‘As someone who has never been on antidepressants or any hormones I can assure you that those kind of statements are blatantly false. Plus... we really letting tumblr funnymen preach to yall about something they know jackshit about? Zoloft affects LIBIDO, not your orientation.”

NOTE: A person previously IDing as ace for a few years then deciding the label wasn’t right for them does NOT make them an authority on the ace community]

[Photo ID: An image of Mod Moon sitting in the right corner surrounded by books. Above him reads the text, “How to be a better ally to ace people.”]

[Photo ID: An image of Mod Mars glaring in the south west direction, his hands on his head. Above him reads the following. ‘I don’t know id I’m the only one that feels this way, but the whole ‘Reblog if you think aces are valid uwu’ posts I see with thousands of notes mean nothing if the people reblogging them do absolutely nothing besides that. You are NOT an ace ally if you

Platform/support anti-ace blogs

Are acephobic or do acephobic things

Make generalizations about the ace community based on things your one ace friend has told you despire majority of aces saying otherwise

Believe you cannot be acephobic because of said ace friend

Reblog tumblr funnyman posts that make fun of asexuals

Act as an authority on ace people despite not being ace at all

Invalidating ace-spec identites that are harmless”

NOTE: This post is about asexual people specifically but if you do this shit to aromantic people either I don’t consider you a true ally.

]

[Photo ID: An image of Mod Moon  saluting the viewer leaning backwards. Next to him are texts of alternating red and green colors that read:

Don’t just talk to one or a few aces! As I’ve said earlier we aren’t a monolith!

Do spread positivity posts about aces, but don’t do it in a way that throws other lgbt+ identities under the bus

Don’t speak over aces on ace specific issues

Do become informed about said issue (please don’t rely exclusively on unsourced tumblr posts though)

Don’t assume all aces are also aromantic (and vice versa), or that they require a romantic identitiy to be considered valid.

Do (if you organize ace specific events) be inclusive of ALL aces, not just the ones that fit the assumption of what the ace community looks like*

In the corner are the words, “This means if your idea of the ace community includes only white or cis or het aces, it’s wrong. My experience as a black bi and trans asexual are not the same as someone who is white, cis, and heteromantic. Our experiences are not the universal!”

]

[Photo ID: An image of Mod Moon with his back mostly to the front, looking back thoughtfully. Above him are the words “Explicity include aces who had other marginalized identies or perish!” In the corner are the words “*nonwhite, non-cis, non-het, disabled etc]

Note: I think it’s great that we’ve been getting more visibility in the world. It’s just...I wish I could see more people like me out there. We have our queen Yasmin Beniot doing her thing and spreading awareness, and that’s awesome. I’d love to see more of that represented in asexual pride events. It’s hard enough finding spaces for POC in regular lgbt spaces, but it’s even harder finding those spaces specifically for ace people (or trans people, but that’s not the point of this post) So please: the ace community is not a “white person thing.” Don’t make it seem like it is.

[PhotoID an image of Mod Moon smiling in front of the demisexual, greysexual, asexual, and aroace flags under the words “Happy Ace Week.”]

Please don’t derail this post. You will be ridiculed and/or blocked

#asexual awareness week #ace week #ace positivity #long post #mod moon

[starshine-selfships]

Chaos time. Do all of the aro spec asks <3 /hj

You're too late, I'm already writing a novel with my little aro hands!! /j

I've already done 1 and 5 (and 6) in the immediate previous ask and I'll gladly do the rest! Idk if I've ever actually been in a place to celebrate aro awareness week and I'm having so much fun, this ask game is very good <3

2 - How important is your arospec label to your overall identity?

VERY! Tbh I love labels, I love being able to point to an aspect of myself and say "this is something that I know for sure"; it's hard when it comes to orientation type stuff bc it can be so nebulous and there's the refrain (which I agree with! don't get me wrong!) of how it's okay to not have a label or know what's up, but I always found labels to be personally comforting. Being able to call myself aro ties a lot of traits together and it just feels so nice to know there's a name for an experience you know? Because of there's a name, then it means it's probably something that's happened to other people, enough for their to be a name, a community, all that.

Combine aro with being ace and what used to be nonbinary (I'm trans masc now!) and you can see that I have a pattern of removing myself from the social paradigm lmao, I feel like putting the pieces together paints a more complete picture of who I am, but aro on its own is so so important to me, especially since dating and romance is so expected, so when someone's not doing it there's a whole bunch of scrutiny, and idk. It just seems a little overblown to me, looking for a problem that doesn't exist. Finding a name for an identity where you don't feel something seems like it would be harder to work through, and I'm lucky I happened to see/hear the words while I was in the process of finding things out, and idk. It's important to me for a lot of different reasons and I feel like I'm having a little bit of a hard time articulating exactly what those reasons are lmao

3 - Are there any aromantic microlabels you use?

Every so often I see the term "oriented aroace" and if I'm interpreting it correctly as "aroace person who still leans one way or another", then maybe something like that! It's hard to say, mostly just bc my attraction is all with fiction, but just going off that I've pretty much exclusively talked about men here lmao; I also remember seeing a microlabel today actually, it was this one!

and this feels pretty close to me! It's mostly the concept of it like I do on this blog, romance media is boring and lowkey a little frustrating to me lmao, but conceptually!! Thinking about it!! Is very nice :D

4 - What does aromantic mean to you?

Pretty similar to what you said actually! It means me feeling confident in being who I am on my own, and not feeling like I'm missing out by not dating or putting myself out there. Truthfully, I never actually tried dating, but I also had a lot of stressful things going on in my life while I was a teen so it wasn't really anything I wanted to add to my plate lmao; now, as an adult with a lot of that stress gone, it feels so nice to be able to stand up and say that this is who I am, and I don't have to make excuses for why I'm not trying to "find someone". With how deeply entrenched into society romance is, it feels like a revolutionary act to simply exist like this, and I wouldn't trade it for anything <3

7- Here's one (1) gush pass for a platonic or familial f/o!

I wanna rewatch b.sd before making strong statements but qpp'ing d.azai straydogs feels like such a fun thing, you know friendships where people know each other well enough to gently tease one another? That's this, we just gently mock each other and it's 90% of how we communicate bc he is just a Funny Little Man at the core of it all

Am also considering just parental f/o'ing all the kids in the b.inding of i.saac and?? They're Good Kids Brent. Doesn't matter if they're part demon, a ghost, or if their status of being alive is questionable, They Are Good Kids and I am making them soup and putting their blankets on the dryer as we speak 😤😤😤

8 - Are you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit? Free pass to go on a little aromantic rant.

A little cynical but it's kinda tiring knowing that most people I know are gonna get partners and if I'm unlucky, they'll just disappear off the face of the map for a while :/ it happened once, I know someone who's not good at keeping up communication, but when she got a bf i would hear absolutely nothing from her for weeks on end and every message I *did* get was always "I was out with my bf!!" like yeah I know our decade long friendship takes backseat to a dude you got with a month ago 🙄 that hasn't happened since but I'm always frustrated how friendship is usually put a step under romance, that and how you're supposed to be attached at the hip?? I knew a couple and both were nd and overwhelmed by a lot of contact so they didn't spend the expected amount of time together and people began to wonder if something was wrong because. they were just. giving each other space?? Maybe it's the autism showing through but I honestly don't understand it. The norms and social rules around romance seem so arbitrary to me and they don't make sense 😞 it does seem overwhelming to constantly have someone right there in that kind of way, and idk? Why do yall take this so seriously lmao, like the feeling doesn't totally register with me, so I can't fully speak on the matter of course, but with the way it's treated like. it can't be that serious lmao

#💚🖤🤍 #pikes don't look #''talk about a platonic/familial f/o!'' *sweats in ''i have other f/os i just almost exclusively enjoy talking about pouf''* sjjdkfk #thank for the asks!! you can see i got a little muddled between what it means to me and how important it is to me but you see #i am Head Full Many Thoughts on the matter lmaooooo #again thank you!! and happy aro awareness week!!

[tenitchyfingers]

I’m gonna stop trolling for a moment. I really don’t understand why people are so against us being part of the LGBT community as a whole (because whether you like it or not, a lot of LGBT non-profits already include us and exclusionists are a very small minority of them). If it’s because of casual homophobia/transphobia/etc-phobia among some of us, then I have news for you: biphobia and transphobia are rampant in the gay community too and racism is so prevalent that the flag had to be changed in order to include brown and black people. So like, those communities have issues too (and biphobia is especially a huge problem, btw) and yet nobody kicks out certain white gay men for being racist in Grindr description, nobody kicks out those lesbians who hate on bi women, nobody told the Dyke March organizers that they’re antisemitic so they’re bigoted and as such not LGBT anymore (yes, it was 100% antisemitism, do not even try to argue against it), nobody says all gay people are racist, biphobic or transphobic, so why should we even care for that accusation against the whole ace community if it’s hypocrisy at its finest, when bigotry has been a problem in the community since its inception (transphobia, biphobia, queerphobia and generally erasure)?

Like, all we want is to gain visibility and spread education about us in order to make straight society as a whole more open-minded to us and other LGBT people (because the vast majority of us is gay/bi/trans as well, so of course we’d support those orientations too!!), so that we can help other asexuals who don’t know they’re asexual, so that we can change our surroundings to fit in better with people and be accepted, so that our partners stop thinking they’re entitled to raping us to name one thing, and educate others about what asexuality actually is. So that straight people stop thinking of us as a threat to life (which is something we’ve legitimately been called, the source is in Italian but tbh I think you can get the gist by google translating if you want).

The same goes for aromanticism, although I feel that being aro is slightly harder because it’s wildly misunderstood and our society, especially of late, might accept asexuality sometimes, but definitely not aromanticism. Not loving people in a romantic way is even a bigger taboo and something that instantly qualifies you as not human. Not being interested in dating and marrying is the ultimate ~threat to the fabric of society~ as Straights™ see it, and not wanting to get a family with 6 children is the biggest slap in the face of the majority in power and capitalism. But it needs awareness as well, aros need to be part of a supporting network as well, and of course we’d give contributions and support to others as well! That’s what a community does. Give and take, take and give back. A lot of aro/aces are already involved in volunteering and working in non-profits, are actively involved in LGBT organizations, are part of awareness projects, actively support and protect gay/bi/trans/queer people, so we do give back every little bit we take and then some. Tumblr trolls do not represent us, btw. We do have active roles in the LGBT community. Personally, I have fought against homophobia for 15 years in my very conservative village, being alone against a bunch of hardcore catholic right wingers and my own family way before I was even aware of being aroace and interested in discussing about it, and I’m not stopping just because I care about aro/aces as well now. It’s just one more thing I care about. I still 100% want to protect and help all LGBT people, and that includes those who hate me and us for being aro/ace. And I never asked for resources, I never took resources, I never even went to pride because of logistic reasons and mental illness etc. Point is, I never took anything from the LGBT community and I always supported it however I could. With money as well. And pretty much all of us, in the real world, are like that. Not to mention we’re like... 3 or 4% of the world population according to wildly over-estimated statistics (the 1% figure is outdated), so... what are we going to invade if we’re the smallest minority? And what’s there to fear? Het aces, who are 22% of this already tiniest 4%? Like, your chances of actually meeting a het ace in the place you live in are infinitesimal, and it’s more likely than that person will be perfectly aware they’re the numeric minority. Fuck, I never even met an aro/ace of any kind, irl, in 26 years of my life. Maybe you meet them online because of course everyone hangs out online and is more capable of joining up with others, but irl? What are the chances? What kind of threat are we? How are we even comparable to the very real threat of straight homophobes? It’s gonna be a lot if you see 10 people tops at any pride march waving the AVEN colors. What bother are they? They’re just supporters who barely take anything from the community at all. All we do is talk about asexuality in order to face our own issues while we support you, so like... really, what are the odds that we’re going to band up with the same people oppressing us (actual Straights™)?

Not to mention telling us we don’t belong at pride goes against the whole reality of pride. Like, it’s just not realistic at all. It’s literally not how it works. Everyone is allowed at pride, because it’s an event where the more you are, the better it is. Every supporter and LGBT person can go at pride, and aside from isolated cases nobody is turned away as long as they aren’t homophobes. So like, if you genuinely think you can keep us out of pride you clearly have never been to one and don’t know how it works. 

Anyway, the ace discourse is completely unnecessary and it should end right now. We’re not harming anyone. We’re not beating anyone up. We’re not slicing anyone’s throats. We’re not raping anyone. If anything, we all give something to the community, and all we ask in return is to not be harassed. To be left alone so we can do our thing which in no way harms you. That’s literally all we’ve ever wanted. Stop giving attention to trolls and start talking to actual aro/aces who don’t only exist as a persona online. Stop thinking online posts are comparable to people’s actual ideas in the real world, because online anything can be said and people don’t interact with others online the same way they do in the real world. 

Of course, if you’re going to read just 2 sentences of this and jump to conclusions just because you enjoy being against someone (so this goes to everyone having a...discourse blog...and anyone with “aphobe” in the url and all of that stupid ass shit), don’t even bother replying, because I’ll just block you and ignore you, while being fully aware you don’t speak for everyone else. 

#ace discourse #acecourse