#i feel like despite how vast the world is i really have nowhere to go
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Now that we have our new party member, it's time for another story time with Teaks.
This is the big one.
Okay what the fuck is this and why did my Captain's Quarters get wasted on it.
I would have been more than happy to let Hortence have the Captain's Quarters since she's been here the longest and has the most claim to this ship, crime notwithstanding.
I could deal with the fictional Captain Cliche having the Captain's Quarters despite Serai not even bothering to use that guise while she's here, thus resulting in an empty bedchamber.
But why does the new blood get it? I don't care if you're basically God, you fucking work your way up the ladder like the rest of us! >_< I'm so furious right now.
And yet you gave him the Captain's Quarters.
I mean. Okay, in fairness, Teaks did that. I don't know why she has the authority to do that, though.
No. I want to throttle you with my bare hands.
However, much like Garl, it is impossible for me to physically be angry with you for any length of time. So I just have all of this aggression and nowhere to put it. I just... I JUST FUCKING....
._. Will you please make me a sandwich I can drown my fury in, thank you very much.
Yes, the usual.
*sigh* Okay, Teaks. Now I want to hear a story. It's finally time to find out exactly who the Archivist/TIA and the Fleshmancer are.
Huh. I figured TIA was some kind of ungodly horror beneath those robes, but apparently he's just zombie-faced. Mm, I feel bad about telling him to go take a shower now. It would not help.
You guys should sit down and chat with Roro. She owns it. Has a whole undead style of her own.
Hold up, he's jealous of our ephemerality? He hates us 'cause we die? That's it? It's not, like, he hates us 'cause we're pretty or he longs to taste good food and not have to dress in rags or something? He's just pissy because he wants to be able to die too?
My dude, you don't have to unleash apocalyptic horrors upon mankind in order to fulfill that desire. If all you want is to be ephemeral, come hang out with me and Zale and we'll work on that. I'd be more than happy to experiment.
Ohhh, I get it. He doesn't have a heart anymore 'cause he used it for his experiments.
He's Disney evil.
You know, I thought you were going to tell me that Resh'an was responsible for Solstice magic but apparently it's just. Like. A thing that happened to also exist, and that trumps the Fleshmancer's stuff... because?
I may have to reassess my comprehension of the Fleshmancer and TIA. The Archivist's opening explanation of the lore made me think these guys were, like... primeval forces of good and evil or something, wreaking vast influence across some enormous multiverse.
Like. I figured they had terrestrial origins in some world somewhere. They had the vibe of ancient wizards who came from meager origins and ascended into godhood. In that regard, I suppose I had them pegged right.
But that seemed like a "Long time ago in a universe far, far away" type of origin, where they've been these ancient supreme beings of good and evil ever since. But Teaks is making this sound a lot more local.
They're just two more guys who accidentallied themselves into a horrifying curse. TIA has nothing to do with the source of Solstice magic. He doesn't even know what it is, really; Just that whatever we are, it sure does kick the shit out of whatever Aephorul's become.
He didn't create us; He found us and went "HOLY FUCK That's powerful! Let's use it!"
I've been shittalking him out of irreverence but. Like. Now, I think that we might be higher on the Hierarchy of WTF than TIA and the Fleshmancer are. Even if TIA is still, admittedly, higher on the Hierarchy of Knowing What The Fuck You're On About.
So if he founded the Solstice Warriors, does that mean TIA is the Great Eagle? Is he the guy I need to beat the shit out of for the unsettling horror of Mooncradle?
Because I can't do it until he tells us how to get onto Mesa Island. But I do want my Captain's Quarters back....
Or a longer window of Whenever We Goddamn Want if you have this fancy amulet. Which was just sitting abandoned in an ice block for how many decades/centuries?
Hey Resh'an? I don't want to tell you how to be the Immortal Alchemist but if you were that concerned with Solstice Warriors defeating Dwellers and you knew where this thing was all along, uh... what the hell, man?
When exactly did we lose track of this thing? Because absolutely none of the ancient Solstice lore I learned from Moraine suggests that it even exists somewhere to be found. We've been using these fancy time runes for day/night manipulation on a small scale while biding our time to strike at Dwellers on eclipse nights. Meanwhile our founder has had coordinates for Pocket Eclipse in his back pocket this whole time. I'm kind of angry about that.
Yeah, that's part of what had me thinking this was some kind of multiversal conflict. Obviously World Eaters must have, like... eaten some worlds in order to be a known thing, right? I assume we know about them from Resh'an; If he was our founder then our lore would be passed down from him. Though he didn't see fit to tell us about Pocket Eclipse so who knows?
Or maybe he did, and Moraine just didn't bother to tell me because I was kind of a shitty student.
Or maybe Moraine did tell me and I just wasn't paying attention. I was kind of a shitty student.
Hm.
In any case, to be known as World Eaters, one imagines they've eaten some worlds. And that this isn't one that they've eaten yet. So these guys can't be a purely terrestrial phenomenon, right?
Oh, so it's both. They are a terrestrial phenomenon but Resh'an created a multiverse through a grandiose gesture of magic.
That's...
That's kind of promising? Like. Metaphysically, that could mean that if circumstances conspire in such a way that we kill Aephorul in any one timeline or reality, fucker will be dead in all timelines and realities because there's only one of him.
This isn't an independent multiverse that Aephorul's invading and attacking. It's a multiverse of attempts to resist Aephorul. We only have to win once. Statistics are on our side.
Even if there's only 1 in 1000 chance of someone defeating Aephorul, if you roll 10,000 dice....
That's why he let us into his library even though we are clearly not the Chosen Ones. It's what he was trying to figure out at the start. We're a dice toss. ^_^
But that's also why he's being so KEEP ME OUT OF IT with regard to Aephorul. Because the same logic applies to him. Aephorul only has to kill him once. In a cosmic sense, we're all expendable compared to him, because there's millions of other versions of us. He can always go back to the drawing board and try something else. Maybe a different version of us, or maybe someone else who might actually be the Chosen Ones. But if anything happens to him, that's game over.
This makes way more sense when Teaks explains it than when TIA tried to. Probably because she's giving me the full story while he's a cryptic bastard. Resh'an is stuck navigating causality to try and find a chain of events that will lead to success against the impossible.
If the dude's so pissy about not being ephemeral, you'd think the sameyness of those realities might bother him a little. Wouldn't you eventually get bored conquering the same world over and over and over again?
These two are playing very different video games.
And that's what Resh'an was on about when he was like, "You don't understand; If Aephorul finds out that I'm here, he'll return."
It's not because he's hiding out from Aephorul. It's because he's violating the terms of the agreement. Resh'an is cheating right now, in a way that would give Aephorul tacit permission to do the same if caught.
Teaks, from now on, can we make this a rule? Can people tell you the lore dumps and then you can explain them to me? You're so good at this.
So now I'm starting to get more of an understanding of what Guardian Gods are too. Like, we knew it was the evolution of Solstice Warriors into some kind of deity. But, specifically, it's our counterpart to World Eaters; Guardian Gods because the pair become a force of Solstice magic that Aephorul can't pierce, on account of our magic being higher on the Hierarchy of WTF.
Uh, probably when he wins, I would say. No sense in doing it while Aephorul's still out there, right?
I adore you, Teaks, but sometimes you ask dumb questions.
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hey lovely!! i came across your writing recently and i really, really enjoy it. 🥰 if you’re ever up to take a request, could you please do leonardo from ikevamp helping the reader fall asleep, maybe something soft with them cuddling/sleeping? it’s completely up to you and please go by whatever you’re comfortable with. thank you so much and have a wonderful day!! <3
A/N: Here you go anon! Thank you for your patience 💜
Fluff / Comfort
Leonardo x Reader
Word count: 808 (not sure that's actually a mini fic but oh well 🤗)
The bed always feels vast when he isn’t there. You stretch a leg out into the emptiness, feeling like a small rowboat alone on the ocean, no land in sight. Even Lumiere has abandoned ship, faint purring sounds coming from the dark cavern under Leonardo’s desk. You’re completely on your own in your endeavor to find sleep.
You roll over, yanking the covers along with you, squeezing your eyes shut. He had warned you this could take a while. Vincent and Leonardo always fell deep into conversation when they discussed painting, losing track of time as they passionately exchanged ideas about oils and canvas and lighting and brushes. Sometimes you were drawn into the conversation, swept up in their enthusiasm and soaking up their words like watercolor on paper. And sometimes, like tonight, you were too tired for their level of creative intensity.
You had told yourself you would be asleep the moment your head hit the pillow. A day’s excursion into town should have drained you of every drop of energy. You had kidded yourself with that one. Despite the long day, your mind is still spinning. No matter how much you try to make it stop, it keeps turning, whirling from one thought to another with no focus. Frustrated you sit up, shoving your hair out of your face, glaring with green-eyed jealousy at the extremely relaxed purring sounds still floating out of the darkness from under the desk. Traitor. Knowing him, he's sprawled across books, cartons, and rolled up scrolls like a blob of gelatinous black fur, snoring away on edges that should be physically impossible to sleep on.
You’re debating lighting more candles and finding one of Leonardo’s more boring books (the thick one on economic systems of medieval Europe maybe), when the door opens and he steps inside. In the half-dark of the room, you see how he turns, attempting to slowly close the door with care and avoid waking you.
“No need. I’m up.”
Surprise runs through him as he turns, brows raised.
“Cara mia, why are you still awake?”
Your heavy sigh and the way you flop back against the pillows tell him more than any words. He moves until he is standing next to the bed, his expression caramel-sweet as he looks down at you. You roll onto your side, facing him, your pillow tucked under your arm.
“Give me a moment and I will be right there to assist you.” His golden eyes seem to have drawn in all the soft light of the room, shining brighter than any candle as they roam your face, tender as a touch. His gaze never leaves you as he unbuttons his shirt with one hand, the sight of those dexterous fingers at work brushing your cheeks cherry blossom pink. You know their power well. The rest of his clothing joins his shirt in a pile on the floor, but you don’t scold him because they gift you a naked Leonardo sliding under the covers, reaching for you.
You have as much chance at resisting him as the night sky does the enchantment of twinkling stars. He smells like comfort, like cigarillo smoke and the faintest hint of linseed oil from Vincent’s paints. His long limbs wrap around you and you breathe out, your forehead leaning against the bare skin of his chest. His skin is still cool everywhere it touches yours, the last remnants of cool night air clinging to him like a wistful lover. His legs are entwined with yours, your arms are tucked between your bodies. There is nowhere in the world you feel safer than in Leonardo’s strong arms.
“There we go,” he murmurs, tilting his head down to drop a delicate kiss on your forehead, a benediction of his love for you. You respond by leaning forward and kissing his shoulder, those broad, beautiful shoulders that would carry every burden in the world if it meant a glimpse of your smile. You free your arms and slide your hands down the planes of his sides, the delight of smooth skin and toned muscle dancing under your palms.
He laughs, a soft, smoldering sound that warms you and stirs up heat at the same time. “Is this about to get interesting, cara mia?"
Your yawn is the answer to his question and again he laughs, embers of affection burning brightly in the sound. He shifts to his back, pulling you along with him, settling you against his side like a yearling nestling into a patch of soft forest green.
“Sleep, tesoro.” He runs his free hand over your arm, the one thrown across his midsection, lazily, habitually. Another kiss to the top of your head. A sigh of contentment as he relaxes his body. You are as much home to him as he is to you. “There is time for interesting things in the morning.”
🌘
Tagging: @aquagirl1978 @atelieredux @alixennial @alexxavicry @queengiuliettafirstlady @rhodolitesroseforclavis @somekidnamedkai @ikemen-prince-writers-posts @bellerose-arcana @thewitchofbooks @ikehoe @redheadkittys @themysticalbeing @dear-mrs-otome
#ikemen series#ikemen vampire#ikevamp#ikemen leonardo#ikevamp leonardo#leonardo da vinci#leonardo x reader#fluff#comfort#ikemen fanfic#ikemen fanfiction#violettwrites
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The Tiny Zone: The First Trial
One night, on two worlds separated by the vastness of time and space, a man and a woman went to sleep in their beds and woke up somewhere else entirely. Neither of them would ever understand why they were chosen or how they got there, but the strangest things can happen... in the Tiny Zone.
Ethan tossed and grumbled in his sleep. He was having the weirdest dream, a dream of falling and flying and spinning all at once through a kaleidoscope of dizzying colours. His brow creasing, he reached for his blanket - but his hands closed over the empty air. In fact, he realised as he started to blearily regain consciousness, the cold hard surface underneath him didn't feel like his bed at all.
Suddenly aware that something was very wrong, Ethan's eyes shot open. With an intense sense of vertigo, he sat up and took in his new surroundings: he was still wearing the boxers he'd gone to sleep in, but his bedroom had been replaced in the night with a cold, alien chamber of cavernous proportions. Bare walls of sterile plastic stretched in every direction as far as the eye could see, a featureless white cube with a ceiling as tall as a skyscraper.
And he wasn't alone. Ethan's breath caught when he saw her: curled up in the corner, snoozing peacefully with her eyes shut tightly, was the biggest woman - scratch that, the biggest living thing period - that he'd ever seen. She was easily 30 feet tall. Hell, could she be 40? It didn't really matter, because either way he was approximately mouse-sized in comparison.
How is this even possible? Ethan thought frantically to himself. I must still be dreaming!
Ethan gasped as the monster in the corner began to move. Her eyes creaked open and she gave a huge sleepy yawn, stretching out those vast arms and rubbing at the mess of auburn hair that tumbled like vines around her face. He saw that she was wearing soft fuzzy garments covered in little bumblebees, and part of him wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his situation. Was he really about to be killed by a giant wearing bumblebee pyjamas?
The giantess suddenly gave a start, and Ethan froze as she started to look around the room nervously, her eyes open wide. When she finally spoke, her voice was like a wave of sound rumbling over him.
"H-hello?" Despite her terrifying size, her expression just looked lost and a little scared. "Where am I? Is anyone there?"
There was nowhere to hide in the little room, and it only took a moment before her eyes settled on Ethan. A look of profound confusion crossed her face, like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Acutely aware of how measly his little voice sounded coming in the wake of her booming tones, Ethan spoke up.
"Please don't hurt me!" he called out as loud as he could across the vastness of the room. "I don't know how I got here either."
"You're so small!" said the enormous woman. "Why are you so small?"
"I..." That was a good question. Why was he so small? "I'm not small, you're the one who's big! You're enormous!"
"Hey, it's definitely not me! I'm a completely normal size, and I've been watching my weight lately too!"
The gargantuan woman scrambled to her feet as she spoke, and Ethan blanched as she rose to her full height. He'd known she was big, but seeing her tower above him like that... his head barely cleared the tops of her socks! As the giantess took a step towards him, sending shuddering vibrations through the plastic floor, Ethan cowered in fear.
"Woah... hey, little dude." She stopped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just... I have no idea what's going on!"
Cautiously, he lifted his hands from his head. "I don't... I don't know either," he said. "I just woke up and I was here."
She sighed, fiddling with her hair anxiously. "Okay. Well, I'm Riley. If we're going to be stuck here together, we should be on the same team, right?"
Ethan looked at her dubiously. The same team? She was like, a billion times his size! What could he possibly have to offer someone like her? But then again...
"I'm Ethan," he said. Being on Riley's team sounded a lot better than being her enemy, that was for sure. "Thanks for... not squishing me or something."
"Why on Earth would I do that?" Riley said with a quizzical chuckle. She started walking around the room, taking slow careful steps and keeping far from Ethan's corner. "Anyway, we must be here for some reason. There must be... oh. Do you see that?"
He followed her finger with his eyes. Yeah, there was something. The angle made it hard to see from the ground for someone as small as him, but it was...
"It's like, a box. Or a little tunnel or something, in the wall." said Riley, peering into it. "I think I can see something down there!"
She stuck her fingers into the hole, but frustration soon showed on her face. "Dammit," she said. "It's just... too fiddly. Twists and turns all over the place, I can't get my hand in."
Riley suddenly looked thoughtful, and she toyed idly with the buttons of her pyjamas as she turned to give Ethan an appraising look.
"Oh no," he said. "No way. That thing is like twenty stories up."
"Ethan," she said gently, starting to advance on him. "We're going to have to work together if want out of this place. Don't worry, I'll be holding onto you the whole time!"
"That's exactly what I'm worried about!" Ethan cried as she got nearer, taking a step back as she reached out with those huge scary fingers.
"Just... trust me! C'mere!"
Riley dropped to her knees and snatched at him. He tried to scramble between the legs of her pyjama pants, but her hand shot out just a little bit too fast to evade. Ethan paled as she snagged him and pulled him into the air, shuddering in terror as he felt her powerful fingers close tightly around his bare torso.
"Right!" said Riley, straightening and lifting him up to her face with a rush of momentum that made Ethan's head spin. "Now we can actually talk face to face. Wow, you are so small! It's kinda cute, actually!"
Ethan's heart hammered in his chest as Riley's huge brown eyes and lips loomed up in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak, but only a panicked gasp came out as he imagined all the various ways she could end his life right now. Squeezing him, dropping him, slipping him between those big soft lips...
"Okay, okay, calm down, dude!" Riley said. "I just wanted to look at you. This would have been way easier if you hadn't freaked out like that."
The wind rushed past his ears again as she swung him around, placing him gently in the entrance to the little plastic tunnel in the wall.
"See? Told you I'm not gonna hurt you. We're both in this thing together, little guy."
Ethan looked down from his new vantage point and immediately regretted it. Retreating into the safety of his little mousehole, he gave her an indignant look. "Please don't do that again." he said.
Riley made a face, but spread her hands in a placating gesture. "So," she said. "Can you see anything in there?"
"Yeah... there's like, a little switch. I think I can get to it..."
Climbing a little deeper in, Ethan found a small red lever - the first Ethan-sized thing he'd seen in this place, he thought - and he pulled on it until it swung down with a click. Almost immediately, a hissing sound started up from the far side of the room. What was previously a flat, featureless wall of white plastic suddenly sprouted a seam, which became a door that hissed open.
Riley beamed and clapped. "You did it, Ethan!" She peered through the newly revealed door, then bounced over to the bolthole and held out her hand, palm out flat, for him to climb onto. "As long as we work together, I bet we'll get out of here in no time!"
Ethan regarded the big, slightly sweaty palm of Riley's hand nervously, glancing up at her open, smiling face. The idea of willingly stepping into her grasp again sent a shiver down his spine - but she really did seem genuine about this whole "working together" thing. And she hadn't hurt him yet, had she?
"OK," he said, stepping out onto her hand. "Let's do this."
---
Read more of my writing on AO3!
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Boarding School for Giants (15/25)
***Content Warning: This chapter contains violence/ blood***
------ Chapter 15 ------
I didn’t know how long I laid in the drawer, crying my eyeballs out, but I knew I had to get up eventually, despite feeling so distraught and broken inside. I didn’t have much of a choice, really. If the human-hating principal came back and found me inside the drawer, he might literally kill me, and my mom would get her wish. She wouldn’t have to deal with a bratty, useless daughter like me any longer. I sniffled pathetically and wiped away the last of my soggy, bitter tears. I couldn’t let her win. I had to be stronger. Spiteful anger flared up inside me, bolstered by sorrow. I would show her!
I slowly sat up, pushing my phone into my pocket. I felt so drained, and I still had to climb all the way back down from the desk to the floor. I heaved a painful sigh. My arms were aching from climbing, and my legs still ached from biking all week. If nothing else, living in a giant world was going to make me very fit. Assuming I would survive, of course. I shuddered and hobbled to my feet.
Suddenly, I heard a dreadful sound, indeed the last possible sound I would ever want to hear in my situation. A key was jiggling in the lock to the door of the office. My heart dropped into my stomach. It couldn’t be possible. How was the principal here? Now of all times? I surged forward and gripped the fishhook hanging from the front of the drawer, reeling it inside to hide it. I didn’t have enough time to cleverly stash it anywhere. I dashed deeper inside to the back of the drawer, hiding behind a giant box of staples. I waited in silence, my heart pumping wildly.
I heard the click of the lock, and the giant door creaked open. Time seemed to freeze for a moment as whoever opened the door paused. I heard huge footsteps slowly thudding across the floor, around the desk. What little light filtered in through the opening of the cracked drawer was blocked by an enormous body, leaving me swallowed in darkness. I was terrified. In the dreadful, suspenseful quiet, I could hear steady masculine breathing from massive lungs. I felt horribly infinitesimal and vulnerable, compared to the giant outside. Why was he here? Did he know I was inside?
Abruptly, the drawer was pulled open, flooding the space with light. My heart bounced from my stomach to my throat in fear. A monstrous hand with hairy knuckles forced its way inside, rifling through the oversized office supplies. I cowered in the corner, with nowhere else to run or hide. The hand came closer, effortlessly pushing the obstacles to the side. I considered, for a foolish second, stabbing at the flesh with my fishhook, but I realized I still wouldn’t be able to escape, and what a terrible idea it would be to make the giant angry. The fingers bumped into me and stopped their violent search, squeezing my small form in immediate recognition.
“Aha!” the giant declared, roughly closing his fingers around me. “I knew you were in here!” He forcefully dragged me out inside his massive fist. I involuntarily cried out in pure terror. He laughed cruelly and glared down at me. He was colossal, towering over me and engulfing me in his inky shadow. His dark eyes blazed with hatred under his bushy eyebrows.
“H-how…?” was all I could manage to squeak out.
“How did I know you were in here?” the giant finished my question, raising me up to his vast face. I flinched away. Using his free hand, he pointed a thick finger at the upper corner of the room. My eyes followed to find a security camera staring back at me.
“It’s a private camera I had installed a while back that feeds directly to my house. It’s motion sensitive, so it alerts me if it sees somebody sneaking around. I rushed over here as soon as I was aware of your debauchery,” he explained in his baritone voice. “Judging by your destination, I’m willing to bet you were trying to steal your phone back, were you not?”
When his answer was met with silence, he tightened his fingers around me savagely in an implicit threat. “Yes!” I gasped out, before any of my bones snapped. He loosened his hold on me, setting me down in his open palm.
“Give it to me,” he demanded in a low, growling tone, gesturing with his other hand. I knew better than to refuse this time, and reluctantly relinquished my cherished device to his free hand. He maneuvered the phone, so ridiculously tiny to him, in between the tips of his thumb and index finger. He looked me in the eyes deliberately, smirked, and with a light squeeze smashed the phone between his fingers, easily shattering it into shards of metal and glass.
“Hey!” I cried out in protest, without thinking of the consequences. My phone had been destroyed! I was so upset. My only link to the human world was gone. My hands balled into fists.
“Is there a problem, little human?” the principal snarled, coiling his fingers around me again in a crushing grip. I shrieked with pain and fear, remembering again how fragile I was in the hands of a cruel giant like him. I shook my head frantically. He leaned in closer to me, close enough for me to feel his hot, sour breath.
“You know, breaking into the principal’s office is a serious offense,” he threatened. I whimpered. After the emotional whiplash I had gone through only moments before, I couldn’t stop tears from dripping down my cheeks. “I can’t let you go without some sort of punishment.” I felt a wave of dread, unable to conceive what he planned to do with me.
He reached back into the drawer, fishing around a bit before pulling out my handmade grappling hook. He rubbed the wicked edge with his finger thoughtfully. “This will do nicely. The punishment shall fit the crime.” A black horror clawed at my guts.
Without warning, the giant slammed me down on the desk, pinning me on my belly with his enormous fingers. I struggled, but my tinny movements were no match against his gargantuan strength. He took the fishhook in his other hand and used the sharp edge to slice through the back of my shirt, tearing it open and exposing the bare skin of my back. I lost my mind at the unhinged ruthlessness of his actions and started to scream in panic, pushing against his fingers fiercely.
He drew in his face inches from mine, filling my vision with his immense grinning lips and teeth, framed by his black facial hair. “Scream all you want,” he said with his loud bass voice in my ear. “Nobody will hear you.” He laughed long peals of vicious laughter that sent a shiver down my spine. The cold metal of the giant hook touched my skin. He traced the curve of my back lightly with the sharp tip. “I’m going to enjoy this.”
Searing pain shot through me as the hook dug into my skin and tore down the full length of my back. I screamed and screamed and screamed as hot blood gushed out of the wound. Another slice followed down the other side, tearing me open anew. The principal continued to laugh sadistically, as if he were a cartoonish evil villain in a movie. I was in hell. The giant flipped the hook around and started beating me with the solid blunt side. While the strikes to him were probably nothing more than light strokes, to me the solid metal was ramming into my back with agonizing force. I pleaded with him to stop, begged him to forgive me my transgression, but he refused to relent, showed me no mercy. Eventually, whether from the blood loss or the pain, I passed out.
When I came to, the first thing that shot at me through the blackness was pain, awful pain. My back was alive with sharp, hot agony, all over, from my shoulders to my hips. I tried to raise myself off the ground with my arms but my body was too weak. The black in my vision faded to gray, until the room swam into focus and I could discern I was no longer in the principal’s office. I was back in the human dormitory, sprawled out on the floor next to the table in the kitchen. I assumed the principal must have dumped me here, not wanting to leave me bleeding out all over the desk in his office. The thought of that abusive beast of a man carrying my unconscious, battered body here, hiding me in his hand from anyone who passed him in the halls, severely creeped me out.
I shivered. My body was feeble and cold. My upper half was wrapped up in my shredded shirt, soaked with blood. I tried to get up again, but was confronted with a heaving stroke of dizziness and collapsed back down. Nausea climbed into my throat and I dry heaved bile onto the hard ground. I probably needed medical care, but there was nothing I could do for the time being except lay on the floor helplessly. I lost consciousness again.
I woke up again, this time later in the evening. I groaned and finally managed to work my way into a sitting position without my head spinning. The room was dark, the light coming in from the windows fading to a deep blue. I struggled to get to my feet and stumbled to the bathroom on sickly, frail legs. My reflection in the mirror was waxen, my eyes hollow with dark circles underneath. I looked almost as terrible as I felt. I turned around and peeled back my shirt to examine my burning, throbbing wounds.
I audibly gasped. The sight was horrific. My back was stained black and purple with one big, livid bruise, all the individual bruises having melded together into an amorphous whole. I had two long gashes through my skin that were crusted over with dried blood, while still leaking fresh fluid. I wanted to cry. While the slashes weren’t deep, I wasn’t sure if they would heal properly without stitches. I realized with misery that there was nobody here to help me. Mr. Henderson wouldn’t be back until tomorrow, and I wasn’t too keen on entering the dormitory for the giant boys to seek out Joey, especially with my unpleasant memories from last time when I was carried in there against my will. With how bad my injuries were, I didn’t want to risk it. Furthermore, I didn’t know where the nearest hospital was, and I couldn’t exactly walk there myself even if I did.
I resigned myself to my fate, at least for tonight. Even though I had been passed out for most of the day, I was exhausted and could barely stand without feeling lightheaded. I shuffled to my bed and fell down on top of it, my head swimming. I huffed in misery and curled up in the sheets, letting fatigue take me away from this cruel world, if only for a little while.
The morning came all too soon. This time I woke up not just because of the searing, throbbing wounds in my back, and the pounding in my head, but also an irritating thirst that left my mouth and throat unpleasantly dry. I got up slowly, to prevent myself from passing out on the floor, and gulped water from the bathroom sink. Overnight my oozing wounds had soaked through my nightshirt. I didn’t have any bandages, so I put on a double layer of shirts underneath my school uniform to wick away the excess drainage, hoping nobody would notice. After I made myself reasonably presentable for school, I regarded my backpack for a moment, then decided there was no possible way for me to put that thing on my aching back, and left it behind. I stuffed a pencil and some sheets of paper in my pocket and headed out.
As if the universe wanted to dump more agony on my shoulders, it was pouring rain outside. I didn’t have a raincoat or umbrella either. Perhaps I had been fortunate not to bring any of my books or my bag, because all my school supplies would have gotten soaked through anyways. I sighed and turned to the bike rack. My bike was not there. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief and did a double take. Oh shit. My bike was still in the principal’s office. A surge of nausea and dread flowed over me. I guess my bike was lost forever now, because there was no way I was going back voluntarily to the principal’s office to reclaim it.
It would be impossible for me to get to school on time by walking there, rather than biking. Maybe if I skipped breakfast I wouldn’t be too late. I sighed again, and started the long journey. I wasn’t one to give up easily; I would have to try. Unfortunately, in my current physical state, I wasn’t sure if I could even make it without fainting, with all the blood I had lost. I already felt a bit woozy just walking, struggling to put one foot in front of the other. Today was going to be a horrible day.
Next chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/voraciousvore/731606805917138944/boarding-school-for-giants-1625?source=share
1st chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/voraciousvore/731600430392639488/boarding-school-for-giants-125?source=share
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Yo just as an FYI since I know critical role can be super intimidating to get into, EXU and EXU Calamity will be a good place to start, especially if the EXU Calamity stuff has caught your attention.
Calamity is gonna be a 4-part mini series (nowhere near as much content as a like 130-part campaign) and it has a lot of super interesting lore for the other campaigns without being super directly involved. There will inevitably be bits that get big reactions from the cast where ur like ‘what’ but remember that’s fine! And even people who have seen all CR content will see those moments and be like ‘wait why is that getting such a big reaction’ (read: me having to look up who Purvan Suul is despite having seen all of C2&3 and nearly all of C1)
As I’m sure you’re aware, Calamity is, by it’s nature, a tragedy. It is no secret that almost certainly everyone in this campaign will die. And while that’s sad in itself, it can also provide some comfort in the fact that like, this is an integral part of the CR backstory, and we kinda don’t have to worry about the fates of the characters because they are already sealed.
Basically this is a long winded way of saying that if Critical Role has started to catch your attention, you’re in a good position to start watching Calamity, see how you like it, and use it as a stepping stone to the rest of the Exandria. And if you have any questions or anything pls feel free to ask
That's good to know! I am definitely intimidated by CR - I've seen so much about it and I know it's very beloved. It did feel like a huge commitment, though. But they've caught my interest now, for sure.
I'm definitely super intrigued by the story so far - they picked the right folks from Dimension 20 to pull me in, and I've really enjoyed the other PCs too. Luis is so amazing, he's a really good actor, it's been so much fun to watch him and Brennan work off each other. I'm fully committed to finishing Calamity, I need to know how these beautiful, arrogant fools make the apocalypse happen, haha.
And I'm glad at least even some CR fans have a little trouble keeping up with the lore. For one, it makes me feel better about my relative cluelessness, and for another, it speaks to the depth and breadth of the world-building. I don't know how much, if any, Dimension 20 you've seen, but most of Brennan's worlds are pretty self-contained within their own seasons/series. So there's a ton of content there, but it's broken down into smaller parts and different settings. Getting into a more vast world will take some adjustment, but I'm super intrigued!
The general premise of Calamity is so interesting to me - I'm a sucker for a story that starts out with all the characters doomed. I read the wiki a bit to understand how serious the consequences of their actions will be, and damn... they really fuck shit up, lmao. But they're all so likeable and sympathetic, I know it's going to be (wonderfully) heartbreaking when they reach that inevitable conclusion. That premise pulled me in a lot too, and Lou, Aabria, and Brennan just sealed the deal. And now I'm getting to know the CR folks too.
So to borrow what you said, this is basically a long-winded way of saying that my interest is absolutely piqued and I'm probably going to try to start Critical Role, once Calamity is done. (There's a new season of D20 out too, and I can only balance so many campaign details at once, haha.) Thanks for giving me your viewpoint on it! I'm excited to see more.
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07/27/2023 DAB Transcript
2 Chronicles 19:1-20:37, Romans 10:14-11:12, Psalms 21:1-13, Proverbs 20:4-6
Today is the 27th day of July welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we gather again around the Global Campfire like we do every day. And I for one, am grateful to take for granted what we have here that the Lord would let is live at a time when technology like this exists that we can be knit together all over the world. Centered around the Scriptures as amazing so grateful to be here grateful to be with you. Grateful to be around the global campfire and grateful to take the next step forward and that next step has us has us back in the book of second Chronicles we will spend the next several days working our way through the conclusion of second Chronicles. So let's take the next step forward today. Second Chronicles chapters 19 and 20.
Commentary:
Okay. So, in the book of second Chronicles today we encounter a story with King Jehoshaphat and an invading army that really gives us a posture or a lesson to learn for our own lives. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we feel really boxed in. Like there's no there's no avenue of escape. There's no way out there attack is coming against us. And there's there's no way out and it looks it seems like we can be destroyed, and this is the scenario that's happening. Under King Jehoshaphat's reign. This Story Takes Pl. in Jerusalem but also in the Judean desert with the Dead Sea as the great landmark, and three armies from from nations. On the other side of the Dead Sea have allied themselves together to cross the Dead Sea and invade the land in an attacking Jerusalem as a by the time King Jehoshaphat understands what's happening these invading armies of invaded they've crossed over the Dead Sea. Another sort of assembling and grouping for the war, and there at a place called in Getty which is a source of freshwater in the desert. The Dead Sea region. We talked about this before is is barren wilderness it's full on desert. It's the lowest point on the earth. And although though there's plenty of water in the Dead Sea's not drinkable at all. So the oasis of an Getty still exists until today is something we've talked about in the past to this beautiful waterfall there as well as a a lot of history there biblical and otherwise so King Jehoshaphat feared God restored the people to God. He was doing what was right in the sight of the Lord, but despite his efforts of restoring the land that God this vast horde was coming to attack Jerusalem and they were that far away. About 18 miles so they didn't have time to get a committee together and call in the Army garrisons and build reinforcements and make a plan for how to subvert the plans of the invading army then have this kind of time and they didn't have resources to to make it happen either. So King Jehoshaphat was terrified and and maybe that's a point we should sit with four second he was afraid, and for good reason. So let's acknowledge that he was afraid when circumstances in our lives come out of nowhere and we feel boxed in and we don't know what to do. We can feel those feelings of being just completely overwhelmed and confused and hopeless we can find ourselves having panic attacks or are night terrors. So it's the next move. In this story that can give us guidance because Jehoshaphat was terrified. He was afraid of the implications of what could happen when he didn't melt down in going the other direction either just going to overdrive trying to do everything possible to to see if there's anything that can be done to reinforce Jerusalem. He also didn't send ambassadors down to the armies to negotiate terms of surrender. What he did do was bag the Lord to tell them what to do he call all the people together to fast and stand before the Lord and bag God for his assistance. And that's very much worth paying attention to because often we find ourselves in these kinds of circumstances where we don't know what to do and that doesn't seem to be a way out and we feel threatened in an unsafe God often becomes the last ditch effort rather than the first move we make and this may invariably lead us to have experiences that are very very difficult that could have been avoided. Jehoshaphat called his people together to come before the Lord to worship God to declare his faithfulness and his power, and to be honest and acknowledge the situation and I quote the King here, King Jehoshaphat's our God, will you not judge them for we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do when our eyes are on you and what is being declared. Here is the is the lesson that the children of Israel had been learning all the way since their deliverance from slavery under dependence on God and this is what Jehoshaphat is acknowledging we don't know what to do. There's nothing in our power we can do. We are utterly dependent on you as the story goes, God responds and he speaks through a Levite named Jossey L and the messages, but let me just quote it. Listen King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem. This is what the Lord says to you, do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army for the battle is not yours but God's. You will not have to fight this battle, take up your position, stand firm, and see the deliverance the Lord will give you Judah and Jerusalem, do not be afraid to not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow and the Lord will be with you and they obeyed and they went out in obedience to the instructions. Lord had given them, and their role in the story ended up being that of a spectator. The armies of the three Allied nations turned on one another and destroyed themselves so entering into this story helps us to see that one when were were walking with God were moving along in our lives and were surprised by something that invades us that we didn't see coming that were not prepared for the we don't have time to get prepared for we don't have resources to prepare for the story reminds us that moving into panic and anxiety and thrashing around trying to save ourselves in our own strength probably won't work and is is unnecessary life for each of us and I mean I guess there are people that go through life with an no problems there are no challenges but I don't know any of them in the circumstances of life sometimes do feel like were surrounded and there is no way out and we just need to remember that the move is that we will have to surrender, we will not be surrendering to the enemy we surrender to God. Our hope and utter dependence is in the God and we get to watch what he will do.
Prayer:
Father, we thank you for that and encouragement from second Chronicles today that really orients us yet again to the fact that we have to remind ourselves every day were not the ones in control here. And sometimes we have the illusion that we are but life has a way of continually reminding us that were not we are reminded that we are utterly dependent on you. Our hope is in the EU and the outcomes are in your hands so we once again declare our allegiance and loyalty to you. Our hope is in you, Holy Spirit, calm and comfort us. Our confidence is in you and you alone so we surrender circumstances, and they twist us in a knot and we don't even know what we're seeing anymore. We can make ourselves crazy inside. Or, we can surrender and we surrender to you. You are the Lord of Heaven's armies. There is none other than you. There is no force or power above or beside you. We are your children, so we hope in you father we pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.
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G Adventures South America: Day 14 - Refugio Amazonas
// March 24th, 2011
Well, there’s a first time for everything. And, while I sit here by candlelight, surrounded by mosquito netting, writing this post about today’s journey deep into the Amazon Forest, I can safely say this is a new first for me.
About Last Night...
When I signed off last night after a HUGE and memorable day wandering the ruins of the breathtaking Machu Picchu, I should have been tucked away in bed in our cosy hostel in Cusco. Due to some recent pretty heavy rain and resultant landslides, however, we were still anxiously waiting in the tourist town of Aguas Caliantes along with hundreds of others, stranded while the train tracks somewhere between Machu Picchu and Cusco were cleared.
Julio, our G Adventures guide was a superhero by the end of the night, dealing with all of us tired, cranky and somewhat tipsy (bar hopping to fill time will do that to a person) as well as doing his best to wheel and deal our way onto any next departing train.
We eventually did get aboard a train at around 1am after some pretty crazy pushing, shoving and running to grab a seat, and after that it was all a bit of a blur as we did our best to get any amount of sleep possible.
Somewhere along the way, out in the middle of nowhere, we all disembarked and transferred to a small bus which carried us the rest of the way back to “Hostel Corihausi". Again, a super human effort from Julio getting everyone conscious and vertical long enough to get us all off the train, considering our sleep-deprived, zombified states of being.
And here’s where the fun really started for me. Considering today was our first day in the Amazon, I was all scheduled to start a course of “Doxycycline” anti-Malaria tablets last night. My tablets were in baggage storage at the hostel in Cusco so the only thing I could do was take them as soon as we returned this morning. As instructed, the first dosage was a double one (2 tablets). The instructions also call for the tablets to be taken with meals. I was soon to find out why not obeying this suggestion was a bad idea.
With our flight out of Cusco and into the Amazon but a few hours away, I took the Doxycycline tablets (on an empty stomach), organised some washing and jumped straight into bed in an attempt to grab a couple of hours of dead-to-the-world slumber before having to pack and leave again.
After having dozed off for no more than say 25 minutes, I awoke to what I can only describe as the most intense heartburn I think I’ve ever had the misfortune to endure. To all those people who have had coronary episodes that took the form of severe indigestion-like symptoms… I think I know where you’re coming from…
DOXYCYCLINE 1 – ROB 0
All I could do was throw up violently, guzzle a LOT of water and try to go back to sleep. Needless to say, by the time I was packed and heading back out to the airport with our reduced group, participating in the Amazon trip, I was no better off in the sleep department. Not a great start to the day.
Rainforest Expeditions
A short flight north-east from Cusco to the town of Puerto Maldonado and we found ourselves in the super warm and muggy surroundings of the Amazon Forest. Talk about a surreal experience. Yesterday, the cool, oxygen-starved Inca Trail through the Andes mountains, and today, the sweaty, humid Amazon Forest.
I rarely ever get sick – maybe once a year if I’m really unlucky, but when I do, it’s usually at the turn of the seasons when temperatures vary greatly from one day to another. It’s like my body freaks out and shuts down in protest. So far I feel fine (despite this mornings little episode), but considering the vast difference in atmospheres and temperatures I’m now experiencing, I’m a little nervous at how the next few days are going to go.
But I digress...
Arriving in Puerto Maldonado, we were met by our local “Rainforest Expeditions” guide, Johan. He collected us all from the baggage carousel of the airport terminal and escorted us out to the company bus waiting in the parking lot for us.
Climbing aboard, we had no sooner taken our seats when we were each presented with our own basket of rainforest snacks including salted banana chips (A-MAZING), brazil nuts and a native orange which was messy to eat, but delicious.
As we demolished our culinary gifts in a fashion that would have suggested we hadn’t eaten all day (which for some of us was the truth), Johan introduced us to the rest of his crew and explained that we were on our way to a port where we would transfer to a long boat and cruise up river to our accommodation – “Refugio Amazonas”.
Once at the port, we had the opportunity to stretch our legs, purchase snacks and drinks, visit the loo, chase around some chickens and generally stretch our legs a little before heading down to the river to board our next form of transport.
With a good 3-4 hour river journey ahead of us, all we could do after doning our life vests was grab a position on the wooden benches that lined the sides of our long boat, and try to get comfortable. Johan, meanwhile, ran through a few safety notes including providing us with reassurance that, should we end up in the drink for whatever reason, we were likely more at danger from camen alligators than from flesh-stripping piranha. Reassuring indeed. Thanks Johan.
Next, we were each handed another unique snack – this time a gourmet rice of some kind served wrapped in a large banana leaf. Yum! The meal certainly kept us quiet for the first quarter hour or so as we headed off along the muddy waters of the river, deep into the Amazon!
Over the next couple of hours we had plenty of time to sit back and observe the vastness of the country we were in as thick forest after thick forest passed us by on the river bank. The increasing feeling of isolation was broken up from time-to-time by the rare passing of other boats and by the odd roughly constructed mud hut that appeared on the banks.
An abundance of wildlife is something I’m obviously keenly interested in seeing throughout this short visit into the Amazon. And while we didn’t see all that much with our naked eyes on the river this morning, we sure as hell could hear a massive amount of critters all around us, even over the top of the boat’s motor. There’s absolutely no doubt that the forest is alive with activity and I couldn’t wait to hit land and check it all out.
A couple of hours into our river journey and we were required to dock at a small checkpoint where we registered our entry into the “Tambopata” region and received some pretty cool stamps in our passport validating our visit to this amazing part of Peru. I wasn’t aware that you were allowed to stamp your passport with anything other than official country entry and exit stamps, but I was soon assured that it was all above board, so I jumped in line and got my passport inked!
It was here at the checkpoint that we all got out first close up glimpse of some Amazon wildlife as the trees above rustled with the playful movement of a couple of monkeys of some kind. It seemed to trigger a run of good luck for us as, over the next couple of hours on the river we saw more monkeys playing in the forest canopy and also a family of capybara foraging the muddy shoreline.
My camera simply doesn’t have the telephoto power to capture such sights with amazing clarity (damn you Peruvian thieves!!), but here’s a shot I captured of the capybara.
A pretty nondescript set of old wooden stairs leading up the muddy bank from the river’s edge and into the forest was all that marked our arrival at home for the next couple of nights – "Refugio Amazonas".
Considering none of us really knew what we were in for over the next couple of days in terms of accommodation and activities etc, exiting the boat and heading along the muddy trail into the forest was pretty exciting in itself.
The unknown soon presented itself as we entered a clearing and set our eyes, for the first time, on the amazing “Rainforest Expeditions Lodge” like an oasis at the end of a lush, leafy green desert (or something), with its high pitched hardwood frame and just all-around awesomeness.
Needless to say, with available light starting to fade, cameras were quickly whipped out and everyone captured the memory of coming across this amazing construction in the middle of nowhere.
Seated in the bar area, Johan gathered us all around, introduced us to some of the lodge staff and tossed up the idea of heading out on an evening activity. We were all pretty tired after our hellishly long night last night and a long day of river travel today, so we passed on the idea, opting to push the activity to tomorrow evening.
Instead, we opted for the opportunity to settle into our amazing individual rooms, and enjoy a few cold beers set amongst our amazing new surroundings. This was followed up by a surprisingly decadent buffet dinner that left each and every one of us well and truly satisfied.
And that brings me full circle to now. In my much needed cage of mosquito netting, scribbling away by candlelight wondering what the heck it is that’s nestling and rustling away in the walls above me. To be honest I don’t really care. I feel oddly safe on the bed here and now I think it’s time to try the ol’ sleep thing, assuming the creature (whatever it is), that’s just started screaming out there to my right, gives it a rest soon.
Wish me luck!
Links & credits:
All images // Rob Masefield
Hostel Corihausi // corihuasi.com
Refugio Amazonas // rainforestexpeditions.com
#peru#outdoors#adventure#amazon#gadventures#southamerica#photography#travel#travelphotography#refugioamazonas
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I am a Psychologist
We will all experience death, but before that, there is life. The world is vast and full of beauty, but what is life if it is not lived?
As a kid, I always saw books as a bunch of boring texts. But as I grew up, I realized that they are much more than that.
Books introduced countless character developments to me, making me better understand the people around me. I started to have interest in human behavior—being curious about how and why we act, think, and feel. Understanding the characters in books became a skill to me in real life—I became a great listener and observer.
Books brought me to new worlds, making me better appreciate the world I live in. The bright sunrise, the big green trees, the lights of moving cars—every detail I look at, I always think—Life is so beautiful. I am so glad to experience life, and I think part of truly living life is to appreciate its beauty. But when death comes, I lived not only once because for every book I have read, I have lived a life.
Not everyone looks at life and humans like I do. Not everyone has eyes that look to understand and appreciate, so I think it is a gift—a gift given to me by books.
In reality, life is not just about beauty, it is also about suffering, loss, and regret. For every joy, there is sadness; for every success, there is failure; for every beginning there is an end; and for every life, there is death. We are all going to leave this world and we are all going to witness people leave this world, and that’s just the way things are. We should just keep on moving. I, myself, once lost someone, then a book started a series of thoughts that made me realize what I could do.
It was a fictional book called The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson. The book was about a protagonist named Kelsier and his plan to overthrow a tyrant named the Lord Ruler. I was at the part where Kelsier dies after publicly attempting to kill the Lord Ruler. Kelsier’s plan appeared to be in shambles but his death was later revealed to be a part of his plan all along. His death started the rebellion of the oppressed people in the Final Empire which eventually brought an end to the Lord Ruler’s reign. His long-established plan was surprisingly successful and he was remembered. Did it ever make him feel good knowing that his end will lead to a tyrant’s end? I thought to myself. Maybe that was the purpose he discovered for himself—ending a tyrant’s reign and continuing it despite knowing that it would be his end too. Yes, maybe it did make him feel good because his purpose was finished. Thinking about it—something sparked in me. What is my purpose?
At that exact moment, an emotion came back to me—something that was still fresh in my mind. An event that shook my life and made me suffer. It was tougher than anything I have felt and when it hit me, I was not looking. It came out of nowhere and it was fast like a bullet. Ken, your friend has passed away. I denied it at first, thinking it was impossible. He ended his life, Ken. I did not feel anything at first. It was truly like a bullet—like seeing a bloody gunshot wound on me but there was no pain, then the next thing I knew I was writhing in pain feeling like I'm dying. Nothing really matters at that moment. The stinging moisture in my eyes and the streaming tears on my face never ended. What if I saw the signs? What if I talked to him? What if anyone listened? Questions flooded my mind but these were not mine to answer.
My friend's death is the first loss I truly suffered, and I realized that grief does not actually get smaller over time until it becomes non-existent. It just stays the same and we just grow around it. That one book made me think about how I can grow around grief—to focus on the things I can control. If it was too late for me to do the things I should have done for him, then I will do it for the people who are in need of help just like him at this present time.
Nearly one million people die to suicide each year and it is seriously high. The lives lost to suicide are victims. They are suffering, and all the beautiful things life has to offer was taken from them. I cannot stop all deaths caused by suicide but I can help reduce it. I do not need to sacrifice myself like Kelsier but I can definitely help.
Psychology became a field fit for me to pursue. Being a psychologist will give me the opportunity to save the lives that need guidance and assistance, while complementing my interest in human behavior.
To understand and observe is what I know I am capable of, therefore I will use it. I will be that compassionate person who gives assurance and support. I will encourage people to seek professional help until I become one. There will come a time where people will go to me for treatment and consultation, but for the meantime, I will help in my own little ways, one life at a time.
Every death from suicide proves that there is still stigma surrounding mental health. Victims suffer and they think they are hopeless and alone—but it is not true. I once read a quote—anything that is human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. We are all bound to fall at some point in our life because it is the nature of life. We just need to know how we can rise again, but we cannot rise on our own all the time, that is why we seek help.
I will be that person people seek help to. I know what it feels like to lose someone to suicide, therefore I will not let anyone experience it too. Life has so much to offer, therefore I will not let anyone lose the life they could have had. I will do what I can do, I will be of service, and I will not stop.
They say, death is the ultimate defeat—the final failure. But for me, it is not called defeat nor failure if I have finished my purpose. And my purpose is to save lives, one at a time.
This will someday serve as a reminder that I have lived.
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What would happen if you were sent back and ended up in the orphanage with Tom Riddle—and say you also had magic?
Oh boy.
Well, there's a lot to question here. Judging by the... spirit of this ask, I presume I'm... pretty much reincarnated. I'm in the orphanage, I'm much younger than I am now and a child, I'm pre-Hogwarts age, and I retain my current knowledge.
For the purpose of this ask I suppose I also retain my current mental faculties. Despite being in the body of an eight-year-old, I'm not The Carnivorous Muffin at eight.
Welp, there's a lot to consider here.
First, I probably don't realize I'm in Harry Potter for quite some time and instead assume I've been reincarnated to some parallel universe. It's the 1930's, I'm in England in the depression, WWI has occurred and the vast majority of major historical events I know about seem to have happened in the right order, and this Earth is eerily similar to the Earth I left behind.
Strange that I appear to remember everything of my past life with my adult mental abilities, but alright universe, I guess that's how we're going to play this.
What I do know is that I'm dirt poor, presumably still a woman which does not bode well for my career prospects, and if I want any prospects in life period I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail for it. It'd be great if I got adopted to help with this, and might be nice to have people in my life who love me, but there's a lot of orphans in the world and a lot of orphans who are much less weird than I am.
The orphanage is the orphanage and not great, Mrs. Cole is overworked, the orphanage is chronically understaffed, and the kids are running wild beating the shit out of each other.
Being a girl, I probably don't have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me quite as much, but I still probably try to keep my head down and don't aggravate the particularly beefy looking orphans.
Yes, there's some very angry gremlin named Tom Riddle around who will shove you down the stairs in retribution, but that's just a weird coincidence. And then supernatural shit starts happening. Billy's rabbit hangs itself, people get injuries when Tom is nowhere near them, and I start wondering if this is really the Tom Riddle.
I'm in Wool's Orphanage, my matron is Mrs. Cole, Tom Riddle is running around lighting things on fire. It's possible, though it could all be a strange coincidence.
Now, how things go from here depends on how controlled my own magic is. Since accidental magic typically does manifest at least once or twice, it probably does manifest for me for.. something. If Tom Riddle's there to witness it then...
Well, I imagine he's very offended. Here he was, special, different, better than everyone else, and then some girl in the orphanage (who dares to get very good grades on her assignments in school) has it too.
And I just stand there, smiling, going "Tee hee".
He probably confronts me to prove that he's better at it than I am, and he probably is unless the universe hates both him and me, but having someone else with the Shining around probably prompts him to take me as his protégé (in part so he can show off and in part because he's genuinely excited to be able to share this super cool talent).
I am now apprentice to eight-year-old Tom Riddle. Whoop de doo.
Well, I don't remember this part of Harry Potter, so now I'm probably confused as to where I am again. Regardless, I try to advise Tom on how to tone it down and not, say, traumatize Amy and Dennis for life and antagonize all the other orphans forever. He probably doesn't take me seriously. What do I know, I can't even light that patch of grass on fire?
Hanging around Tom Riddle gets me a reputation to, given the difference in genders, probably a fairly nasty one at that. When Dumbledore arrives he's undoubtedly told hot gossip about how eleven-year-old Tom and I have had sex in a ritual to summon Satan. Dumbledore takes this seriously.
Dumbledore probably meets us both at the same time and it's a disaster. I tried my best to prep Tom without revealing I'm a prophet, Tom first doesn't believe there might not be others, then doesn't believe they would be antagonist/anything but amazed by how awesome he is.
Well, Dumbledore lights his wardrobe on fire while I sit there. Dying inside. Dumbledore probably also does something to me too, to teach me some kind of lesson about something.
I imagine he temporarily disfigures me/makes me appear very ugly, then sticks a mirror to the wall, that way I realize that looks aren’t everything/being a whore is wrong. Tom, still traumatized over the wardrobe, is no help and my magic’s probably not controlled enough to do a thing about it.
I spend a day looking like a pig, Tom and I are given just enough money to buy new wands and second hand/barely functioning everything else and given the world’s worst directions to Diagon Alley. Thanks, Albus.
Well, months pass, we get our wands, Tom gets excited for Hogwarts and I... start seriously considering the future. WWII is coming, the Blitz is coming, Tom and I live in east London and must be able to evacuate during the bombing of London (which went on well past the Blitz to the end of the war). I also start considering my future in the wizarding world. Do I now actually have career prospects?
Probably not because I’m muggle born and a woman. My best bet is doing very well in useful subjects and finding employment with the goblins, I can’t imagine they have the same hang ups as the wizarding world.
Tom wants to go to Slytherin, of course, I tell him this is a bad idea. “Gee Tom,” I say, “Not sure how I know this but I have this feeling that Slytherin is filled with people who loathe our very existence and will shank us. Why don’t we pick Ravenclaw or Gryffindor instead?”
No one shanks Tom Riddle! Tom says. Tom is still eleven and while he admits that sometimes I may, in retrospect, have been right about certain things that doesn’t mean he wants to go to the house known for hard work. That’s code word for everyone there being a moron and having no other redeeming features than tenacity. As for the other two, Ravenclaws sound like smug, elitist, nerds and Gryffindors like dumb jocks.
Better to be known for ambition, cunning, and actually being competent.
Well, there’s no talking him out of this one, and goddamn it we’re all each other has.
I’m the closest thing Tom Riddle has ever had to a friend in all these years and in the orphanage the only one who could hold a decent conversation with him. And while it’s not my moral obligation to keep Tom from becoming a domestic terrorist, and there’s no guarantee I even can, dumping him for one of the other houses and drifting apart won’t help.
Not to mention that, after all these years, I’m undoubtedly lonely, I’m in this foreign land, and he’s now the closest thing to a friend I have.
Looks like I’m going to Slytherin, YOOOOOLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! I shout as a battle cry as tears run down my face. I may have to convince the hat to put me in Slytherin, but like all human beings I am a mixture of many qualities. I’m not cunning in the least, mind games exhaust me unutterably, but I’m full of ambition.
This confirms every bad opinion Dumbledore had regarding me and Tom.
For the next several months, Tom probably beats the shit out of dormmates who steal his things/harass him. He beats up mine too because feminism (TM) means that he should treat all people equally when guilty of the same crime. I... am not sure I can win that fight so I just resign myself to having to adopt some of Tom’s tactics to make sure I’m not shoved in lockers, have tampons thrown at me, or pig’s blood dumped on me at the prom.
Once again, everyone thinks Tom Riddle and I are dating. I don’t even know if they’re wrong at this point.
Well, being in class with eleven year olds who seem to have had little to no prior education, Tom and I are undoubtedly blazing through class. I imagine I’m bored out of my mind (the Hogwarts curriculum sounds unbelievably boring) and Tom is... well, probably devouring the library but probably also bored. I decide to try and see if I can find some real history texts on this world (there are probably none, the wizarding world seems to only have two historians and both... have a different approach to history than current modern thought as I know it) and discover what magic even is. That shit is fascinating: wingardium leviosa is not.
Dumbledore likely gives neither me nor Tom points in class, I think the house cup is stupid, so I really don’t care. I have no interest in playing quidditch, neither does Tom, so that doesn’t happen.
The second world war starts up, Tom, me, and the muggle borns are the only ones who give a flying fuck. I work harder on figuring out how to get lodging during the Blitz/the bombing of London. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole hates me too for being the Bride of Satan, so that’s a no go. Third year, 1939, I probably write her in earnest anyway telling her to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send Tom and I instructions for the summer/where the orphans are staying/how they’ve been dispersed to the countryside. As a back up plan, I try desperately to shmooze shopkeepers in Hogsmeade during every Hogsmeade weekend to get myself and Tom part time jobs and lodging over the summer. As a back up back up plan, I spend my time badgering Tom to become very good at survivalist wandless magic and if the Lord has pity on me gain some ability in it myself.
Hopefully, either Mrs. Cole or one of the Hogsmeade shop owners take pity on us. If not, then Tom and I are going extreme camping. Given Mrs. Cole (and the brain damage brought on by Dumbledore erasing memories left and right) and the likelihood of Hogsmeade shop owners just not getting it, Tom and I probably go extreme camping.
(Tom, meanwhile, asks Dippet and Dumbledore if we can stay in Hogwarts over the summer. He’s told no exceptions. London’s being bombed, you say? No exceptions. Toodles. Tom is never the same.)
Me, Tom Riddle, a tent we made ourselves, several rabbits we had to catch and skin ourselves, and the pitiful fire that we can keep going through pure will alone because if we try to use real people spells then we’ll get arrested. It has the benefit of making Tom feel very manly and impressive, catching his own food, but both of us are well aware that this sucks.
But hey, we aren’t dead.
Well, I’m sure Tom doesn’t appreciate that and this is where I imagine he seriously starts talking about violent revolution. I imagine much of my time is spent discussing the merits of not violently overthrowing our ant overlords. I imagine a thirteen-year-old Tom isn’t impressed by my pacifism, but he’s not married to Voldemort yet (probably).
Then I imagine the horcrux thing comes up and... Well, I will argue hard against it. Humans die, it is a truth of the universe, and simply something we have to accept. Horcruxes are not a measure against that, they can be destroyed, given infinite time they will be, and the sacrifice they require is too high: human life as well as the very essence of who you are.
What is a soul? I’m not sure, we never really learn in HP canon, but whatever it is, it is in some way the essence of yourself. If you take half of it and throw it somewhere else, you will cease to be you, someone or something else is walking around in your body while the other half of you exists in endless agony.
If you must chase immortality, create a philosopher’s stone (as I darkly wonder why it was that couldn’t be replicated and what Flamel had to do to make it in the first place). On second thought, maybe we should search for the Holy Grail.
Whether I can talk Tom out of this or not is... unclear. I’m going to say that I can, in part because I imagine he’ll want to show the chamber off to me, tell me when he realizes he’s Heir of Slytherin, and in doing so I can prevent the basilisk incident from occurring. Without that, there’s no dead Myrtle, which means no first victim. That summer, when he goes to the Gaunts, I’ll go with him and convince him that it’s not worth it. He can just turn around and leave these people alone, I hopefully can talk him down. Which means no second victim.
I start writing Flamel to see if Tom or I can get an apprenticeship (Dumbledore probably beats us to the chase and poisons him against us, but it’s worth a shot).
Then, should all go well, I can convince Tom to find employment with the goblins rather than shady antique dealers on the bad side of town. Hopefully, I can convince him to never become Voldemort, and instead we travel the world together looking for the origins of magic or something.
Dumbledore goes around taking people’s memories of us in preparation for when Tom becomes a dark lord and I his lady of the night darkness.
TL;DR Apparently my life would become an SI/Tom Riddle fic. So, thanks anon.
#harry potter#harry potter meta#harry potter headcanon#tom riddle#albus dumbledore#anti albus dumbledore#meta#headcanon#opinion
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Today’s episode made me weep thinking about Jon and empathy and love and his decision to betray everyone else, so I wrote this fic that made me outright sob onto my keyboard. (It’s not quite completed, but I wanted to get something posted on episode day, so enjoy!)
When they lay down to sleep that night, Jon can tell that Martin is afraid. Of course he is—any number of things could go wrong with the plan they’d all laid out together. Georgie and Melanie might fail to explode the gas main. Jon might be drawn into the pupil despite Martin’s precautions. The plan might not work, might not rid them of the Fears at all. Or it might work too well, and kill Jon in the process.
Martin doesn’t voice any of those fears, but it’s clear he's realized this could be their last night together. He holds Jon close, stroking a hand over Jon’s back and occasionally pressing kisses into Jon’s hair until Jon feels him relax into sleep.
Jon doesn’t sleep. He just watches Martin, trying to memorize the dark freckles sprinkled across his face, the way his hair curls over his forehead, the soft round slope of his cheek. Warm and close. Peaceful.
He allows himself, briefly, to imagine another life. No fears, no trauma. No apocalypse. Curling up every night with Martin without any of this awful urgency because there will be endless nights to follow, endless mornings held in each other’s arms.
Martin is trying to give him that reality. A life without the fears.
He wishes he could accept that. He wishes he could have given Martin something better. He wishes—
A tear runs down the side of his face, settling warm against his hairline.
Tomorrow, Martin is going to wake up, alone. He’ll start to panic when he realizes that Jon is nowhere in the tunnels. He’ll climb the tower, dread pooling in his stomach, praying to anything listening that he’s wrong, that he won’t be too late.
He will be too late, though. By the time Martin arrives, Jonah Magnus will be dead, and Jon will have taken his place as the pupil of the Eye. The betrayal will break Martin’s heart.
With that thought, Jon presses his face into the fabric of the sleeping bag, muffling his thick, unsteady breathing. Martin loves you, how can you do this to him?
Martin will be angry with him. More than angry. This is Martin’s one chance to be happy, his one chance to get back the life that Jon took from him. And Jon is going to ruin it. He’s going to doom Martin, and all the others, and the world.
Martin is going to hate him.
Martin is going to hate him, and he’ll deserve it.
The way they’d looked at him when he’d suggested his plan to destroy this world and the Entities along with it. More proof that he’d lost his humanity and was slipping further and further into being a monster.
“You’re talking about killing the whole world,” Georgie had said.
As if he hadn’t already killed the whole world.
He wonders if he’s just a suicidal coward, terrified of living with his own guilt. Certainly, he can hardly stand the feeling of existence, anymore. The ever-present call of the Eye in the Panopticon high above. The constant hum of background terror, the awareness of every bit of suffering happening in the world. The knowledge that this is his fault. His curiosity and his questions and his endless need to know have doomed everyone.
It’s too much. It makes him want to dig his nails into his skin and tear.
But suicide is a human consideration, and Jon is certain that, whatever he is now, it isn’t human. If he was human, he would want more than anything to protect the man he loved. He wouldn’t sacrifice his friends for the sake of strangers.
When they voted to save this world, Georgie and Melanie were thinking about Celia and Arun and everyone else they’d tried to protect. Basira was thinking about Daisy, about Daisy’s victims. And Martin—Martin was thinking about Jon.
“I can’t actually imagine ever making a decision that I knew meant losing you.”
Martin’s words ring in Jon’s ears, and his breath hitches in another sob. He wishes he could just damn everyone for Martin’s sake. He loves Martin. He does, he does, he does, but… He can’t doom a thousand worlds over it. He can’t.
The amount of suffering the fears have inflicted is larger than any human could imagine, too big for any of them to comprehend. But Jon Sees it all, on a level that is vast and terrifying, but also intimate, personal. Jon Knows every victim of this world, Knows how they lived before the apocalypse, Knows what they fear and why.
Jon imagines that level of suffering, multiplied by thousands, and he can’t let it happen. He won’t.
The only way to stop the suffering is to destroy this world and everyone in it. Jon isn’t lying to himself that this decision is kind or humane, but it’s the only decision Jon can make. He wishes--He wishes he wasn’t alone in that.
More than anything, he wishes he wasn’t alone in that. He wishes he had the others beside him, that this decision wasn’t a complete betrayal of their wishes. They’ll all be furious with him, and he knows from experience that it will feel like being torn apart. None of them will want anything to do with him, after that. Even Martin, probably, won’t want to see him ever again, and that more than anything will feel like losing everything.
But Jon has been alone before. He’s spent most of his life alone. He can handle it. He won’t have any other choice, really.
He’ll miss them, deeply, desperately, but Jon knows he’ll be okay. They’ll all be okay.
And soon enough, the dead world will finally rest.
Jon presses a soft kiss to Martin’s cheek, careful not to wake him. His heart seizes with grief, but he swallows it back. He wipes the tears from his eyes, takes once last long look.
He leaves.
#tma#tma spoilers#mag 200#tma fic#my fic#i am not remotely exaggerating when I say I was crying the entire time I wrote this fic#emotions are high today#let me know if this makes you as sad as it makes me#i'm too emotionally burned out right now to be able to accurately judge it myself#suicide mention cw#self harm cw
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One Shot Werewolf Story
So... first of all, Next part of PFTS should be coming out soon. It's going to take some work to make sure that I pull all the threads that's I've placed in all the worlds together without plot holes, so apologize for how long it's taking. Will probably finish this last world in 2-3 parts, with possibly 1 or two extra parts from Liam and the Traveler's perspective.
Now, back to the story at hand. About a week ago, I wandered into the werewolf side of Wattpad. It was very... interesting. Never written about werewolves before. Thought it might be fun to try my own using my own style. (Women who constantly think they aren't pretty or good enough for the man, men who force physical intimacy and growl "mine" aren't really going to work for me.)
Anyways, It's about a 13k oneshot. It's a bit out of my norm, so I hope you guys enjoy! (Also I would love to hear ideas on what to title this.)
Here it is:
________________________
“I can’t believe you read this garbage!” Alyssa’s coworker held up the book in her hand, staring at it with disgust. “What do you see in books like this, anyways?”
Alyssa sighed, looking up at the book in question. The cover showed a shirtless muscular man holding a busty woman while scowling at the camera, with the title written across the top in bright orange words: “The Alpha’s Timid Mate.”
“I don’t read it for fun.” She muttered, reaching up and snatching the book back. Opening the large roller suitcase behind her, she found its place among the hundreds of other werewolf books and put it away carefully.
“Then what is it?” Her coworker asked with a tone of disbelief.
“Research.”
“Really? Research? For what? When your werewolf boyfriend shows up out of nowhere? “ She let out a derisive snort. “Sure.”
“…You don’t understand.”
She doesn’t understand us. The wolf in Alyssa’s head spoke up silently.
“That’s what I said.”
Can we eat her? Her wolf seemed excited by the idea.
“No. You know we can’t. You don’t even really want to. You’re just acting out because you’re upset I won’t let you watch horror movies any more.”
I am not acting out! But since you mentioned it… bring back the horror movies!
“No.”
“What are you talking about?” Her coworker frowned; confused by the conversation she could only hear half of.
Turning to her briefly, Alyssa shrugged. “Sorry, I’m just having a small discussion. I’ll be free to talk shortly.”
“Don’t bother.” The girl walked away, whispering under her breath. “Freak.”
Should have just eaten her.
“Wolves don’t even eat people. Stop pretending.”
How do you know? Maybe WEREwolves DO eat people! You have no clue! You haven’t found a pack yet. Even though you PROMISED!
“I know, I know.” Alyssa rubbed her forehead tiredly. “It’s harder than I thought it would be.”
I’m lonely and bored! I want to go run! I want a pack!
“Anything else, Your Highness? A bone on a silver platter?”
The wolf paused at that, pouting quietly … I’m hungry. Feed us something tasty.
“That I can do. We’ll eat on our lunch break.”
Steak?
“…We’ll see.”
As her wolf silently cheered, the door to the bookstore she was tending opened. A strange smell reached her nose. Mint and pine along with another scent she couldn’t quite place.
Alyssa looked up and was startled. The man who walked in looked like he had stepped off the cover of one of her werewolf books. Muscular, handsome… his brown hair just long enough to frame his green eyes. And tall… Alyssa had always known she was short, but never felt quite so at a disadvantage height wise as she did at the man’s approach.
He looks like the lead from book #298. Her wolf suggested in an interested tone.
“I was thinking book #645, but I see your point.”
Why do you think he’s here?
“I don’t know.”
As he moved closer, his gaze meeting her own, Alyssa stepped back, the sound of her wolf’s growl filling her mind.
HE’S A WEREWOLF! … even better, he smells strong… an ALPHA? QUICK, MATE HIM!
An alpha? Crap. Alyssa had done enough research to know that was bad news. “Look here, missy, I am not assaulting some stranger just because…”
Then let’s switch over to wolf so I can do it!
“No!”
“Excuse me…” The man spoke up, his voice hesitant and trailing off.
Alyssa turned and hurried out the back. Passing through the bookshelves, she heard someone following close behind, and picked up the pace. The door squeaked loudly as she forced it open, slamming against the wall as she broke out into a run towards the back alley.
“Wait!” The man’s voice called out.
Seeing that they were now alone, she stopped in her tracks, and turned, more irritated than nervous. “What?”
“…” He seemed thrown off by her sudden change, but shook his head, studying her closely. The man seemed to recognize something, and moved quickly to stand next to her. “You’re…” His eyes widened, and he reached out to grab her. “A werewolf? My mate?!”
YES! I knew it! Her wolf’s scream of excitement echoed in her mind.
Alyssa sighed tiredly, reaching into her bag. “Well, crap.”
________________________
It had been a terrible day.
Lewis listened to his family arguing, wishing for the thousandth time that he wasn’t in charge.
“Nightfang’s pack could wipe us out!” Gary, his Beta, slammed his fist on the table, the force of it scattering plates and cups.
Lewis’s mother stood up, and despite her height only coming only to the enormous man’s chin he shrunk down in fear. “…Did you just mess up my kitchen?”
“…”
“Then you’re gonna be a good boy and clean that up right now, yes?” She raised an eyebrow. “Or you won’t have to worry about that Nightfang pack. There won’t be enough of you left for them to fight over once I’m through.”
“…I’ll clean it up right away, Ma’am.”
“That’s what I thought.” She turned to Lewis, patting his shoulder comfortingly. “What’s you plan to deal with this, dear?”
“My plan?” His voice came out slightly more stressed than he meant it to.
“Well, you’re the alpha. Your father left it to you to protect us. “
“Yes. Of course… a plan… which I definitely have.”
Gary and his mate Berta glanced at each other from the other side of the table.
“He doesn’t have a plan.”
“Did you really expect him to?”
“Hey!” At Lewis’s hurt exclamation, Gary shrugged.
“No offense, Alpha, but since your broth… since Nightfang left and took half the pack with him, things have been a little disorganized. You have to admit that’s true.”
Lewis walked over to the window of the cabin, leaning on the sill and staring up at the cloudy sky. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to help each other. Help the pack. But now it’s all just one huge mess and I’m the only one left to take care of it.
Hey, you’re not alone! His wolf’s irritated voice burst out. I’m always here. We’re stuck together for life!
I’m aware. He chuckled quietly. Glad to have you, Buddy.
So… Can we go find our mate now?
You know we can’t. There could be an attack any day now. Besides, I’ve already visited all the packs within driving distance. She’s not there.
Maybe she’s human, like our mom. We should go to town and find her.
Yeah, just go to town and pick up a mate like going to the grocery store to pick up milk. No problem with that.
She’s probably waiting for us! She’s wondering what’s taking us so long to find her. What if she thinks we can’t provide for her? Hurry, you have to find her…. Bring steak… no… four steaks… fatty ones! It will show that we can feed her… make her fat! She’ll definitely want to mate with us then!
Nothing turns women on more than shoving red meat in their face and telling them that you’ll help them gain weight.
Like you would know? Who have you dated? Regale me with tales of your vast experience.
Hey! You haven’t dated either.
I have instincts, at least.
“Lewis?” Gary’s voice broke him from his silent talk with his wolf.
He turned back “We’ll tighten up the patrol schedule.” He rubbed his forehead.
“It will mean giving up territory.”
“I’m aware.” The words came out as a growl. Territory was everything. In the old days it was a pack’s survival. The instinct to protect it at all costs remained, but Lewis had no choice. “Their safety matters more.”
The pack has to be protected first.
Agree. His wolf sounded unhappy, but stood by him, as always.
“Alright then. Continue with training, and preparing for if Nightfang brings his pack for war.” Lewis sighed. “Hopefully they’ll wait until the colder weather passes.”
Although it might be just delaying the inevitable.
“You are all dismissed.” As he stood up, however, his mother stopped him with a smile.
“Can you pick up some milk, dear? I’m out.”
“… Sure, Mom.” He held back a laugh thinking about his conversation with his wolf, knowing that no one else would get the joke. Maybe I’ll pick up my mate while I’m there.
He headed into town.
As he parked his car and walked towards the supermarket, however, his wolf suddenly started shouting in his head.
She’s here!
Lewis frowned. Who? Nightfang or one of his followers?
No, you idiot! Our mate!
Where? He skidded to a halt, staring around frantically. His heart started to race, as he prepared to meet his soulmate… the one he had been waiting for his entire life.
In the bookstore! His wolf wasn’t much better, barely able to communicate in its excitement.
He opened the door, ignoring the soft chime that sounded out to alert a new customer’s arrival. His eyes scanned the room, trying to spot… something. A familiar face, a special feeling. How do you know if someone is your mate…?
His silent voice trailed off in shock as he stared at… her.
She was beautiful.
Dark curls, the tips just barely brushing her shoulders. She was short… very short. He felt awkwardly tall, wondering if she would dislike his height. She seemed to be packing a book into a suitcase, but then turned to face him.
Her grey eyes widened at the sight of him.
Does she feel it too?
QUICK, FEED HER!
With what?!!! I don’t have any food!
Why didn’t you bring the steaks?!!! Now she’s going to think we’re weak and she’ll starve as our mate! What if she leaves us?!!
Human women don’t need steaks for courtship… watch.
Lewis cleared his throat. “Excuse me…”
She turned and rushed out of the store.
…
…
…You were saying?
…Maybe you were right about the steaks.
He followed her out to the back of the shop, cringing at the suspicious looks that the customers in the shop gave him.
I’m chasing after a girl into a back alley. I’ll be lucky if no one calls the cops.
She’s our mate! We could never hurt her!
They don’t know that. She might not even know that!
To his shock she stopped and turned around once they were out of the store. Placing her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “What?”
“…” She was even more mesmerizing up close. Lewis nervously cleared his throat, stepping closer.
Her scent filled his senses. Lilac and spring and… wolf?
She’s a werewolf! That’s awesome! Let’s shift and show her how strong our wolf form is. It’s much better looking than the human look.
“You’re…” Feeling stunned, he reached out, wanting to touch her, to hold her hand. “A werewolf? My mate?”
This is amazing! His mate, his soulmate was standing right in front of him. Would she be happy too? Was she excited to meet us?
She didn’t seem shocked. Didn’t seem happy either… or angry, or afraid. Her face just showed mild… annoyance?
Does she not feel the bond?
“Well, crap.”
As she spoke out with a matter of fact tone, Lewis’s hand neared her shoulder, only to spasm and drop as he fell to the ground shaking. His mate stood over him, staring down at him blankly, the Taser in her hand still sparking.
Well, crap. He silently echoed his mate’s words as darkness overcame him.
________________________
Alyssa sat on her favorite chair, holding her favorite mug, drinking her favorite tea, wrapped in her favorite blanket, hoping it would improve her mood.
It wasn’t working.
Mostly due to the large man on her living room floor, just now waking up from the effects of her Taser… and the large animal sedative she stuck him with after he went down. He blinked his eyes, seeming confused and disoriented.
He’s adorable. I bet his wolf is good looking! Can you ask him to shift? Her wolf hadn’t shut up since they met the other werewolf.
“Shush. He’s waking up now. It would be rude to ask him before we’ve talked. “
Spoilsport. At least show him all the hamburger meat we have frozen.
“Why would he want to see our hamburger meat?”
THAT will show him how effective we are at gathering food! We can be an asset to his pack! If he doesn’t have a pack he should follow us around, and we can fatten him up! … he’s too skinny.
“He’s not skinny… he’s very muscular.”
What if there’s not enough prey in the winter? His muscles will go away. He should have a nice little layer of fat.
“Do not fatten him up! I like him like this.”
“Excuse me?” The man on her living room floor struggled to sit up. Leaning back against her TV stand, he blinked a few more times, obviously still fighting off the tranquilizer. Looking around, he just seemed more confused. “Where am I?”
“My home.” Alyssa told him, taking another sip of her tea.
“Ah.” He paused, awkwardly shifting his weight and raising his hands which were tied together with silver chains, like his ankles. “Why am I tied up?”
“…” She stared at him silently a few moments. “You’re a werewolf.”
“…Yes. So are you?”
“You said I was your mate.”
He blushed at that, avoiding eye contact. “Sorry. I know that was awkward. I was surprised. I’ve been looking for years since I reached adulthood.”
“You’re an alpha?”
“Yes.” Straightening his spine, he forced a cocky looking grin. “A strong alpha of a great pack.”
“So now you know why you’re tied up.”
“…pardon?”
Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’ve done enough research to know when an alpha finds his mate, it tends to get physical… and non-consensual… real quick.”
He still seemed confused. “Research?”
She set down her tea and blanket and dragged over the enormous roller suitcase. Opening it, she displayed hundreds of paperback romance books. She pulled one out, showing off the cover, which showed a half-naked muscular man holding a woman tightly as she half-heartedly pushed him away.
The bound man looked at the picture. “The Reluctant Mate of an Alpha? What is this?”
“There are 983 books on werewolves in my possession.” She pulled out her notebook, quickly flipping to the “alpha” section. “88% of them feature an alpha werewolf as the male lead… and 92% of those characters force their mate to engage in physical intimacy… mostly hugging and kissing… within the first few minutes of meeting them.”
“You… you’re getting your information from romance books?” He looked horrified. “Where’s your pack?”
“No pack. Abandoned as a baby. I grew up in the foster system.”
A low angry growl sounded from his chest. “What pack abandons a child?!”
“The kind of pack that I’m probably better off being abandoned than raised by.” She tapped the book again. “Back to the fact that I’m apparently the mate to an alpha wolf.”
“Not apparently!” He looked distressed still. “You ARE! Can’t you sense it?”
She ignored him, putting the book back carefully. “You know that alpha wolves aren’t even a natural thing… only happens with wolves in captivity. Wolves in the wild tend to form family units. “
“…But we aren’t normal wolves? We wouldn’t have the exact same pack structure.”
“Exactly. Thus I can’t use my wolf encyclopedia to gain information.” She frowned. “That would have been preferable, honestly. I don’t really like the alphas in these stories.”
If you’re not going to mate with him… can we eat him?
“Stop asking to eat people. You know the answer.”
Lewis’s eyes grew wide. “Did you say ‘eat PEOPLE?”
“Don’t worry. There’s a strict ‘no eating people’ rule. It’s just a phase she’s gone through since I let her watch 80s horror werewolf flicks. She thinks its funny, but its not. “ She threw her hands up helplessly. “This is WHY we are on a horror movie ban!”
This is unfair!
“It’s perfectly fair! Even if you ignore the moral implications, you wouldn’t even like the taste of human flesh!”
What about hot sauce? Didn’t you say hot sauce makes every thing taste better?
“Yes… hot sauce does make everything taste better.”
“Wait… are you going to EAT me?” Lewis questioned with a panicked tone, scooting backwards closer to the door.
“No. I told you, there’s a firm ‘no eating people’ rule in place. We’re done discussing that.”
“But…”
“We’re discussing whether or not hot sauce would make your flesh taste better if we ate you… hypothetically.”
“Oh.” He thought it over. “I do like hot sauce. But I don’t think wolves do.”
“No. It would give them diarrhea, probably.” Alyssa nodded. “See. Even hot sauce wouldn’t help.”
Then if we aren’t going to eat him, can we please just MATE with him?
“No eating. No mating.”
“Wait, can we not put a strict no mating rule in place just yet? At least not a permanent one?” He paused. “Also, if I promise not to engage in any alpha behaviors like you see in your ‘research’, can I please be untied?”
“…” She studied him warily. “I suppose.”
“Great!” He held out his wrists, smiling with relief as she started to untie him.
“I have plenty of tranquilizer anyways.” She muttered.
“…pardon?”
The bonds slipped free. The man rubbed his wrists, careful to not make any sudden movements. Relieved by his apparent honesty in not trying anything, Alyssa headed back to her chair and wrapped herself back in her blanket.
Grabbing her tea, she took a sip of the lukewarm liquid and smiled. “So what brought the great alpha into my place of work today? Were you looking for me?”
________________________
Lewis was unsure how to answer his mate. Panicking, he said the first thing he thought of.
“Actually I was going to go buy milk.”
She raised an eyebrow. “In the bookstore?”
“Yes! I mean, no!” He covered in his face. “I was on my way to the supermarket, when my wolf… sensed you.”
She tilted her head, seeming more interested. “Your wolf? What’s he like?”
TELL HER I AM VERY STRONG!
“Umm… he’s strong…”
TELL HER I CAN MAKE HER FAT!!
No!
How else will she know I can provide food for her and our children?!
No. I’m not saying we’ll make her fat!
ITS IMPORTANT! TELL HER HOW FAT WE CAN MAKE HER!
“Are you okay?”
“WE’LL MAKE YOU REALLY FAT!” Lewis blurted out… and then stared at the ground in embarrassed horror.
“…” There was a long silence.
“My wolf says that’s very attractive.” She shook her head. “She wants you to know that we have several pounds of hamburger in our freezer and that we are happy to contribute food to you and your family.”
She’s smart and stores plenty of meat in her freezer! Please convince her to stay as our mate!
“So would you like to come visit our pack? He asked, wincing as she pulled what appeared to be a miniature Taser out of thin air. “Just visiting! No mating!” He relaxed as she hid the Taser away again “…Where were you even keeping that?”
“Secret pocket in the sleeve…. It’s not my only one, so don’t think I’ve given you any advantage.”
Lewis tried to think of something that would appeal to her. “I know you don’t have a pack… it would be a chance to get to know others like you… “
“… I would be able to refine my research…” She muttered, staring down at her notebook. “Plus my wolf really wants to…”
SHE’S GOING TO SAY YES!
Shush!
“Sure. Why not?” She shrugged, holding out her hand. “I guess we should officially meet if we’re going back to your pack together. I’m Alyssa.”
Alyssa! Her name is pretty!
“Nice to meet you Alyssa.” Lewis smiled brightly. “I’m Lewis.” He shook her hand, trying to stay calm at the shocking feeling of touching her. It was almost painful, as if every cell in his body were screaming at him that he’s met his soulmate. Overwhelmed, confused, he glanced over at his mate, only to see her calm expression.
Does she not feel this? Are we just delusional?
She’s our mate! Of course she feels it!
She’s not acting like it. Maybe we’re wrong? Lewis felt a stabbing pain in his chest at the thought. She was his mate. He had waited his whole life to meet her. He belonged to her.
What if she doesn’t want us?
… His wolf didn’t have an answer to that.
Maybe she can sense our weakness… our failure.
No… we’re not weak! We’re alpha of a strong pack!
That’s fallen apart because most of them felt I wasn’t the best one for the job.
We have to be strong. We can’t fail our pack or our mate. Don’t show weakness!
I’ll try.
Lewis forced a calm smile as he looked at Alyssa. “Should we head over and meet the pack?”
“Hmm… Aren’t you forgetting something?” She angled her head, studying him.
“What?”
“Didn’t you say you were on your way to pick up milk when you met me?”
“OH SHOOT!” He jumped to his feet. “I’m glad you said something! You saved my life!”
“By remembering milk?”
“You don’t realize how horrible my death would be at my mom’s hands if I had forgotten it.”
“…” She raised an eyebrow, a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. “You’re welcome, then.”
I like her smile! Let’s help make her smile more!
Agree.
Lewis ran to pick up some milk while she packed a bag for the trip. When he returned, he was shocked by the number of suitcases she had brought with her.
“Are all these clothes?”
“Don’t be silly.” She looked at him like he was an idiot. “It’s my research.”
He was almost afraid to ask, but felt he had to. “… They’re all filled with werewolf romance books… aren’t they?
“Not just books… “ Alyssa seemed a little defensive. “There’s some weapons. And a few changes of clothes.”
“If you’re staying a few days at least, do you need to take off work?”
She shook her head. “No need.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. “
“…Okay.” He didn’t want to pry. At least not yet. Maybe one day she’ll trust us enough to tell us more.
He packed her bags into the car, glad for his superhuman strength as he lifted the suitcases filled to the brim with books. Alyssa sat in the passenger seat, clutching a notebook and a small messenger bag, which also appeared to be filled with books. As they headed outside of town, an awkward silence fell between them.
Say something witty! His wolf finally lost patience with Something that will make her think we’re smart!
Open to any suggestions, Buddy. I’m having trouble thinking straight with our mate so close, much less think of something smart to say!
Aren’t you supposed to be the more intelligent half? I’m supposed to be the stronger one.
You’re the one always saying that wolves are super intelligent creatures and I should listen to you more!
Now we’re being silent for too long! What if she thinks we’re an idiot?!
You’re not helping…
“So how do werewolves mate?” Alyssa asked calmly, the question almost causing Lewis to swerve off the road in shock.
“…”
…
“Sorry, I don’t think I heard you. Could you repeat the question?”
“How do werewolves mate?”
… I think I preferred the awkward silence.
No! This is good! She’s showing an interest in mating!
“Umm… Not differently than humans… you learned about that in health class, right?” He desperately hoped he would not have to have a “birds and bees” talk with his mate right after meeting her.
“Oh.” She sounded slightly disappointed. “So we don’t mate in wolf form?”
I’m game.
SHUT UP.
“Typically no… I mean I guess it’s possible…” He felt himself turn bright red, feeling super uncomfortable. “But usually its in human form… at least from my understanding of what mated couples say.”
“Hmm..” She seemed to be listening to something. “No, I don’t think his wolf is impotent. I think it’s a cultural thing.”
HER WOLF THINKS I’M IMPOTENT, WE’RE SHIFTING NOW!
We are currently driving down a highway! We are not shifting any time soon! Besides, what on earth do you think you’re going to do in wolf form that’s going to convince her otherwise?
I’ll show her my genitals, to reassure her.
THAT DOES NOT REASSURE WOMEN! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US TASED?!
“So I bet that means that werewolf pregnancy follows human rules then. “ She sighed, frowning while pulling out her notebook and writing a few things down. “There was only 3% of books that presented mating and pregnancy while in wolf form, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“… I see.”
“How long does pregnancy last? 19% of the books depict a shorter pregnancy cycle, but I wasn’t sure if it was just to get the plot to move faster.”
“Normal 9 months.”
“Number of children per pregnancy?”
“One… unless you have twins.”
She groaned, leaning back in her chair. “So no advantages at all? So disappointing.”
SHE’S DISAPOINTED! TELL HER TWINS RUN IN OUR FAMILY! WE’LL GIVE HER SO MANY CHILDREN!
“Twins run in our family!” Lewis nearly shouted.
“Really?” Alyssa studied him, looking slightly interested. “Do you have a twin?”
Great. I really had to bring HIM up.
“I do… but he left the pack.”
“Does that happen often?”
“No.”
“I see…” She made a few more notes. “Obviously the villain.”
“…” I mean, she’s not wrong. “Any other questions?” Please be something easy.
“Will mating with another werewolf change my menstrual cycle?”
“…”
…
Do you know?
Nope. Nothing in the instincts about this. Do you?
Nope.
He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I don’t know the answer to that question. One of the pack might be able to answer it. Maybe Bridget? She seems pretty knowledgeable.”
“Bridget? Your sister?”
“No… she’s just one of the warriors in the pack..”
“Hmm…” Alyssa thought that over. “Is she pretty?”
Lewis shrugged. “Seems pretty normal.”
“Do you two get along?”
“She follows orders, so I guess?”
“I see.” He could hear her pen scratching against paper again. “The female side character who will try to chase we away, maybe? How exciting.”
“…” Lewis decided he didn’t want to ask anything about it. For the sake of his sanity if nothing else.
They spent the rest of the car ride in silence.
________________________
Alyssa felt increasingly nervous the closer they got to pack territory.
I think we’re almost there. This area smells different.
“Different how?”
It smells like our mate! I like it!
“Hmm… Do you think he pees on trees to mark his territory?”
Isn’t that normal?
“It’s normal for wolves… do you think he does it in human form too?”
“I DON’T MARK TERRITORY AS A HUMAN!” Lewis spoke out frantically. “Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?!”
She turned to him, curious by his reaction. “Don’t you talk to your wolf?”
“All the time, but I do it SILENTLY!” He paused. “Do you not know how to?”
“Oh I know how to, I just think it’s really rude to leave her out of the general conversation. She’s here too you know.”
“That makes sense… I guess…” He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Well, I assume you know since you were commenting on the scent markings, but yes, we’re in pack territory. “
Alyssa nodded, her heart rate increasing slightly. She didn’t like this. Going to unfamiliar places. Meeting new people. Especially people who may have a culture or rules that she didn’t understand. They might not like her.
How could they not love us? We’re a strong, beautiful female… at least when we’re in wolf form.
“Hey!”
We’ll be just fine.
“I hope so.” She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves.
A warm hand hesitantly grasped her own. She felt an electric shock traveling up her fingers from the touch, but kept her face expressionless. “Are you okay?” Lewis’s voice was quiet, a comforting sound.
I like his voice. His touch his very warm!
“If you’re worried… I know that you might not believe me, but the pack is very friendly. You’ll feel very welcome.”
“In 42% of the books the pack is welcoming to a stranger… usually because she’s the alpha’s mate. In the rest they are either wary of the unknown person, or distrustful or unfriendly. “ She thought it over. “I guess it’s not bad odds.”
The car came to a stop. Lewis squeezed her hand one last time, and then stepped out, getting her suitcases from the trunk and back seat. Alyssa stared down at her now empty hand, feeling frustrated.
I trust him.
“You trust everyone. It’s my job to keep us safe.” She got out of the car, staring around at the area. There were several nice houses, all scattered far from each other. The place was quiet, peaceful, surrounded by woods. She liked it.
He won’t hurt us. He can’t. It would be like hurting himself.
“You’d be surprised how low people can sink if they want.”
No I wouldn’t. I lived through all the same experiences with you. But wolves do better with a family. We’ll do better with a pack.
“I haven’t agreed to that yet.”
We’ll see.
Lewis carried her many bags without seeming stressed by the weight. “I’ll bring these into the main house. Do you want to come along? Or you can wait here, I can show you around.”
She glanced around at the forest around her. “I’ll wait here.”
“Ok. I’ll be right back.” He looked slightly worried about separating from her, but after a brief hesitation, he walked away.
Alyssa strolled around the clearing by the car, feeling calmer as she took in the fresh air.
I like it here. We should live here.
“We’ll see.”
Also mate Lewis before another female gets him.
“I don’t think that’s how it works. In 82% of the books, being mates meant soul mates. Only small exceptions made for if mates rejected each other and such… for the drama, I suppose. “
Don’t take chances. Even with an impotent wolf we should claim him sooner rather than later. He has fatty steaks in his house. I can smell them.
“That’s what’s important to you? And I told you, I don’t think his wolf is impotent…”
“WHO ARE YOU?” A strident voice called out.
Alyssa turned to see a beautiful young woman walking towards her with a suspicious expression. She had shorter, curly blond hair and bright green eyes, towering over her in height. Alyssa sighed slightly as she realized she would probably be the shortest werewolf here by a good amount.
We’re short but feisty! Don’t underestimate us!
“I’m Alyssa.” She waved cheerfully. “Who are you?”
“…” The young woman seemed confused. “Bridget.”
The bitch side character! Maybe she’ll shout at us to “stay away from her man!”
“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s nice. She’s pretty.”
She is pretty… but it would be more fun if she were hysterical and tried to scare us off.
“…Who are you talking to?”
“My wolf.” Alyssa grinned at her. “She’s wondering if you are going to scream at us and tell us to stay away from Lewis.”
The woman seemed stunned. “Why would I do that?”
“All the books have it.” She pulled out her notebook and spread out the books from her messenger bag. Holding up one where a woman in a ripped dress stood next to a large wolf titled “The Alpha’s Runaway Love”, she pointed to a smaller, angry looking woman in the background of the cover. “See… in 79% of these stories there’s a strong female side character who is desperately in love with the alpha despite him being mated to the main character and tries to drive her away.”
“… Are those… romance novels….?”
“But I really hope you aren’t that character type. I think you seem like an awesome older sister type.” She stepped closer, which highlighted the height difference between them. “We’ve always wanted a cool, pretty older sister like you. “
“…” Bridget seemed genuinely overwhelmed. “Umm… first of all… I don’t want to scare you away from Lewis… I grew up with the guy. He wet the bed once when I slept over when we were five… ruined my favorite princess sheets…”
Alyssa started taking notes.
“I was just curious about who you were…” She rested a hand on Alyssa’s head, almost seemingly despite herself. “Are you Lewis’ mate?”
“Yep! He found me in a bookstore.” She paused. “Do you know if mating with a werewolf changes your menstrual cycle? I asked Lewis, but he seemed like he was having a seizure and said he didn’t know.”
“…” Bridgett’s face spasmed at that, she seemed to be holding back a laugh.
“Also… I brought hamburger meat… do you want some? “
“So…” Bridget’s voice trailed off.
“So?” Alyssa tilted her head, confused.
“SO CUTE!!!” Alyssa was pulled into an enormous bear hug, squeezed almost uncomfortably tight as Bridget continued to yell. “YOU’RE ADOPTED!”
“What are you doing with my mate?” Lewis’s strained voice made Alyssa want to look over, but she was still trapped in the hug.
“She’s my little sister now, Alpha.” Bridget’s voice was calm, but stern. “If anything happens to her, I will destroy you.”
Alyssa smiled at her as the tall woman set her down. “Really?”
“Really.” Bridget grinned back. “I’ve always wanted a sister too.”
“Awesome!”
As the two girls began chatting excitedly, Lewis cleared his throat. “Guys? I hate to break up the love here, but the pack is gathering to meet Alyssa.”
He walked over towards Alyssa, stopping in his tracks as Bridget grabbed her first and tugged her in the correct direction. “Come on, let’s hurry up! I can’t wait to introduce you to them!”
“She’s MY mate! I want to introduce her!”
“Too bad, so sad, bedwetter! If you weren’t so slow maybe you could have grabbed her first.” She laughed.
“Hey, you promised never to mention that again! What if you scare my mate away?!”
“Even better, she’ll just live with me and my family.”
As they moved, Alyssa tapped her arm, leaning close. “Is this really okay?”
“Is what okay?”
“I mean… he’s your alpha… is it okay to be like this with him?”
Bridget smiled. “Don’t worry. He’s a good alpha… a strong fighter, a capable leader… but he’s very kind. He prefers his pack feel comfortable enough to joke around with him. Says if they can trust him enough to make fun of him that it means they’ll trust him enough to have the uncomfortable conversations as well.”
He’s a good leader.
“Maybe…”
Let’s mate him!
Alyssa groaned at the expected response from her wolf, shaking her head slowly.
They arrived in a clearing in the woods, where twenty or thirty people had gathered. Everyone looked very different, with skin tones, eye and hair color varying widely from person to person. People of all ages chatted excitedly, watching their approach. They did have one thing in common though:
They were all tall.
We’re… tall… too.
“We’re short.” Feeling uncomfortable, she hid behind Bridget, who growled at the crowd.
“Don’t you guys make my sister uncomfortable! Sit down, you’re scaring her.”
The crowd looked very confused at that, but sat down on the grass anyways. Besides the three of them, only one man remained standing. He was enormous, a head taller than even Lewis, who Alyssa already considered very tall. He was broad as well as tall, his muscles nearly bursting out of the flannel shirt he was wearing. His face was covered in a bushy beard, his dark hair cropped close.
Overall Alyssa thought he looked very intimidating. She watched as he approached, a hand grasping her hidden Taser in her sleeve.
“This is my Beta Gary.” Lewis’s calm voice was reassuring, but she refused to relax her vigilance as the large man bent down to look her in the eye. “Gary, this is my mate, Alyssa.”
“Hey there, Alyssa.” The hair-covered face broke into a friendly smile. “We’ve been hoping Lewis would find a nice mate for a while now. Glad you’re here. If anyone gives you trouble you let me know, I’ll knock a few heads in.”
Alyssa grinned back at him. “Nice to meet you, Gary. You’re really large.”
Ask him if we can sit on his shoulder! I want to be tall!
“It would be rude to ask to sit on his shoulder right after meeting him. We’ll ask him later.”
But…
Before her wolf could complain too much, Gary reached out and picked her up easily, placing her on one broad shoulder and steadying her with a single hand. “How’s this?”
Alyssa looked around. “This is GREAT!” She laughed.
Bow before us mortals! WE ARE TALL!
“My wolf is very happy right now. She was sad that we were so much shorter than everyone.”
HEY! You were sad too!
“Well you can ride on my shoulder anytime you want.” Gary laughed. “My mate Berta and I always wanted kids, but…” his voice trailed off slightly. “Well, anyways, feel free to come to us if you ever need help.”
“OR ME!” Bridget burst out. “I’ve already claimed her as my little sister!”
Lewis stared at the three of them, looking slightly tired. “Do I get any time with her as her mate?”
Gary and Bridget glanced at each other. “… We’ll see.”
Putting Alyssa down in front of the pack, Gary winked at her as if to reassure her before taking his place standing behind the Alpha. Lewis stepped forward, his manner becoming stronger, more confident as he addressed the crowd.
“Everyone, this is my mate Alyssa. She’s one of us, but she doesn’t have a pack. So I expect you all to make her feel safe and welcome.” He looked around, smiling as everyone nodded obediently.
“Welcome!”
“We’re glad you’re here!”
“Maybe Lewis will stop moping so much now!”
The cheerful voices of the pack made Alyssa feel calmer. She waved at them, speaking up. “Hey everyone! Like Lewis said, I’m Alyssa. I don’t know much about werewolves… I’ve only grown up around humans, but I’m excited to learn more.”
They seem nice.
Her wolf was happy about the packs’ reactions. No one seemed thrown off by her introduction. No one was glaring at her or even seeming suspicious of her.
It’s a good thing, right?
Before she could respond, Lewis spoke up, distracting her. “Let’s take you back to meet my mom.”
________________________
Lewis was relieved that the pack introduction went so well. Not that he was overly surprised; most of the more disagreeable pack members had left in the split with his brother. Who was left were either the ones too reasonable to be sucked into his rhetoric, or the very loyal ones to himself or his father.
Either way, I guess it’s a good thing.
He led his mate towards his house, breathing a small sigh of relief when Bridget and Gary didn’t insist on following. He liked them both a lot, but they could be a lot. Especially since they seemed to have instantly bonded with Alyssa.
Just admit it. We’re jealous. We want to bond with Alyssa too.
We don’t know what all she’s been through. She was abandoned by her pack as an infant. Her only knowledge of us doesn’t paint Alpha’s in a good light… or at least they don’t seem to. Lewis resolved to get his hands on some of those books and read through this. It might help us understand how she views us… and how to reassure her.
I like her. His wolf’s voice was filled with a patient care. Even if she doesn’t like us just yet, I hope she’s happy and feels safe here.
I do too. Lewis desperately wanted to reassure his mate. He could feel her anxiety through the bond. Even when she was smiling she didn’t feel safe. But he didn’t know how to help just yet.
They reached the house, and as they were about to enter, the door swung open and Lewis’s mother rushed out. Making a beeline for Alyssa, she hugged her tightly, grinning.
“I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE HERE!”
Alyssa seemed shocked at the sudden appearance of his mother. Lewis tried to step in. “Mom, don’t scare her…”
“Finally someone normal sized!” Alyssa burst out, hugging his mother back.
“I know, right? They’re all way too tall!” Lewis’s mother stepped back, patting her head fondly. “I forgive them since they’re all such good people, but still, I’m happy to have someone I don’t have to strain my neck to look at.”
“Mom, this is Alyssa, my mate.”
“I figured as much dear. You’ve never paid so much attention and care to a single person before. “ She grabbed Alyssa’s hand. “Come in, I made food.”
Our mother understands! She’ll show our mate how much food we can provide!
Alyssa glanced at him. “My wolf wants to make sure that the hamburger meat we brought got put in the fridge.”
“I took care of it.” Lewis puffed out his chest, feeling accomplished.
His mother just shook her head. “Boys. Why don’t you take her bags up to the room next to mine while I get her something to pad her stomach?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” He grabbed the suitcases full of books, weapons and clothes and rushed up the stairs. Her room was on the opposite end of the house from him, right next to his mother’s rooms.
Why is she staying so far away from us? His wolf whined in his head. What if something happens? How will we protect her?
She already doesn’t trust us. Hopefully the living arrangements will make her less nervous. If she doesn’t like it, she might go stay with Bridget instead. Do you want that?
No. Stupid Bridgett. She brought up the bedwetting incident. Our childhood shame bared in front of our mate! What if she doesn’t like us now?
We were young. I can’t imagine she would hold it against us… although yes, it is very embarrassing.
As he neared the kitchen once more, he overheard Alyssa and his mother talking. About to announce his arrival, his mouth slammed shut as he heard his mate’s question.
“So Lewis’ brother is a villain, right?”
“…” His mother sighed. “How much has he told you?”
“Just that he has a twin, and he’s not with the pack.”
“Well, I guess you haven’t known each other long… you’ll hear it anyways, might as well be from me, since he’s my son.” She sat down at the counter, rubbing her forehead tiredly.
“I had three children, actually. Twins boys and a younger girl. My husband was the Alpha of the Western pack, and although it’s not set in stone, usually one of the children of the Alpha will inherit the position.”
Lewis could hear Alyssa’s pen moving as she frantically took notes. He silently laughed, even as his chest hurt at the sound of his mother’s disappointed tone, leaning against the wall to hear how she would describe their situation.
“Now, I’m not a werewolf, you know. I’m a human who happened to be mates with a werewolf. So maybe I didn’t instill the idea of pack values as strongly as I could have.” She sighed. “Lewis seemed to get it naturally. He got hurt when he was ten… the first time he transformed, just to protect an elderly pack member who was being attacked. He’s got a large scar on his left elbow from a hunter’s arrow. Werewolves heal well… but the scars remain.”
My other son… Benjamin… he wasn’t nearly as concerned about the pack’s well being. Just obsessed with being strong. Being in charge. My daughter Emily seemed to feel very similar.”
“Seems pretty Alpha-like… at least how the books describe them.”
“But that’s the thing. Alphas SHOULD be strong. My mate was very strong, in fact. But their strength exists to protect and feed the pack. Strength and power for its own sake has no purpose… and often leads down a dangerous pack.”
“…”
“My mate died.” His mother whispered, the pain in her voice breaking Lewis’s heart. “Lung cancer. Even werewolves can die from disease. They heal… but not fast enough for more aggressive wounds or diseases. They’re not immortal.”
“I’m sorry.” Alyssa seemed genuinely concerned. “How did you survive losing your mate?”
“It helps that I’m human.” Her voice was still quiet. “The pain is still there…it’s like a piece of your soul missing. But I had family, pack … people who needed me to keep waking up each morning. And I’m glad I have.”
“So what happened next?”
“My mate’s will left the pack to Lewis.” His mother shrugged, turning back to stir the contents of a pot on the stove. “It was an obvious choice to us. He is strong, careful… puts the pack first.”
“But Benjamin didn’t agree?”
“He rebelled. Said Lewis was weak. Tried to fight him, but was pushed back by the loyal members of the pack. In the end he took almost half the pack with him to start a new one… including my daughter who also thought Lewis was too weak to lead.”
“…” Alyssa was silent. Lewis leaned against the wall, desperately trying to sense his mate’s emotions. Was she disappointed in him? Did she think he was a failure.
“He goes by Nightfang now… his group is our pack’s greatest threat.”
“…” Suddenly in the silent kitchen, Alyssa chuckled. “Seriously? Nightfang? Did he think that was a cool name?”
Lewis’s mother laughed too. “I know, right. I mean, it’s a serious situation and all, but seriously… he sounds like a villain in a Saturday morning cartoon.” She looked over, and chuckled again. “Alright, Lewis. Stop hiding around the corner and come join the conversation.”
Shamefully, Lewis ducked his head and entered the kitchen. He noticed Alyssa didn’t seem surprised by his presence.
She probably can sense when we’re nearby. It means our bond is slightly stronger!
It also means she knows we were eavesdropping like a creep!
Well we were… not like it’s much better if she doesn’t know.
“So…” He spoke up, trying to appear less awkward. “Can I help with dinner at all, Mom?”
She smiled, reaching up high to pat his head as well. “I’m pretty much done. How about after we eat you show her around the territory?”
Alyssa seemed a little more relaxed, to Lewis’s relief. “I’d like that.”
WE GET TO SPEND TIME WITH HER! THIS IS GREAT!
Play it cool! She already knows that half the pack left because we’re too weak to convince them we’re a good Alpha. If we look like an idiot too…
OH SHUT UP! His wolf snapped at it. Don’t pretend you’re not super excited. We’re the same person!
…Stupid wolf.
Silly human.
... Lewis was excited. So excited he could hardly breathe. His mate was right here, in front of him. She was smart, beautiful, friendly… at least to everyone else… more than he could have ever dared to dream of.
I just want her to like us… any ideas?
I still vote for bringing her food or showing her our genitals. .
… Never mind… I’ll think of something.
________________________
A few weeks passed.
Alyssa sat on the cool grass, watching Lewis in wolf form teaching some of the younger pack members how to fight.
“Watch out for each other.” His voice resounded her mind. “You can’t be so focused on the enemy that you lose track of what’s behind you.”
Having never spent any time prior to this visit around other werewolves, she was interested to find that although she did understand some of wolf language – a combination of scents, sounds and body language – the majority of the time werewolves simply spoke through mental communication.
Lewis batted one of the young wolves aside, snapping at another’s flank and using his weight to push a third to the ground, baring his teeth. The fallen wolf whimpered slightly, more with frustration than pain.
“Alpha, I thought we had to focus all of our attention on the attack, and not stop until the enemy was dead?” The youngest of the three, a male wolf named Teddy, finally spoke up, his tail between his legs. “How are we supposed to do that AND watch our backs?”
“Who told you that?” Lewis seemed shocked. “You are nothing without your pack! Only by working together and looking out for each other will you be at your strongest.”
“It was Uncle Ben…mmph” Teddy’s voice was muffled as the other two wolves tackled him.
“Sorry Alpha, he’s a little dumb.” Teddy’s sister Lara apologized, grinding her brother’s muzzle into the dirt with a paw. “Of course we aren’t going to follow what the traitor Nightfang taught us.”
“But LARA…”
“SHUT UP and let me get us out of this, idiot!”
Lewis stared at them for a few minutes, and then laughed silently in our heads. “It’s okay. I know he was in charge of teaching fighting for years. It’s a different strategy, but give my idea a shot before you dismiss it, okay?”
“YES ALPHA!” The three younger wolves shouted in unison.
“…” Alyssa studied Lewis with a thoughtful expression. He was kind enough to the pups, even when they challenged him and brought up his brother’s name. He didn’t lash out, just calmly guiding them forward. If she didn’t know better, she would think the mention of his brother didn’t bother him at all.
But she could feel it.
Behind his kind words, there was a deep agony. Fear, hurt, betrayal. He resented that his brother left the pack, that he split the pack with his leaving. He regretted that he had let his brother teach the pups… that he taught the pups to be killers rather than to defend and protect the pack. Feared being compared to his brother at every turn.
But mostly… he blamed himself. Hated that he wasn’t a strong enough Alpha to force the pack to stay together. He wished desperately that he could be a better leader… more like his father.
Alyssa rubbed her chest idly, feeling a pain in her heart that wasn’t physical but still wishing to ease it. She could sense his self-doubt, his feelings of helplessness, but was unsure what to do with the knowledge.
Over the last few weeks, they had spent a lot of time together. She had come to recognize that he was as kind as he first seemed, very different than what her book research had led her to expect. He was strong… she could see that in every move her made, especially in his wolf form… but he didn’t seem to place his importance on that strength.
His mother had described him well. He was strong, careful… and he put his pack first.
The closer they got, the more she learned about him, the more she could feel through their bond. His emotions, his mental state. She couldn’t hear his thoughts, not unless he was mentally communicating in wolf form. The information she was getting, however, was almost more than she could bear.
It made her terrified to guess what he could sense about her.
That’s how bonding goes. He is our soul mate. We can’t hide from him.
“…” Alyssa ignored her wolf, mad that she was telling the truth.
“Are you okay?” Alyssa looked up at Lewis’s mental question, startled to see his wolf’s face right in front of her own. “Did something upset you?”
“… What would you do if something did?”
“Help you. No matter what.” His mental voice was firm… reassuring.
“What if it was you that upset me?” Alyssa was curious how he would answer that.
“… If I did something, please let me know… I don’t want to hurt you, even by accident.” He paused. “If you don’t feel comfortable telling me… then my mom or Bridget would be happy to listen. And of course beat me up for whatever I did…”
SORRY WE UPSET YOU MATE! WOULD YOU LIKE MEAT?! Startled, Alyssa realized she could hear Lewis’s wolf directly. He sounded a lot like Lewis, but slightly more… straightforward.
TELL HIM WE LIKE MEAT! Alyssa’s wolf shouted with frustration. OR SHIFT SO I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF!
“How can I hear your wolf? I thought that could only happen after mating?”
Lewis shook his head, the motion strange appearing when performed by a wolf. “I’m not sure… I’ve never been mated before… but I think as our bond deepens we’ll hear more. I can’t hear your wolf now… if she’s speaking…”
I AM SPEAKING! TELL HIM I WANT THE STEAK HE HAS IN THE FREEZER!
“…But if you were in wolf form I might. Their control is a little stronger in that form. One day we might be able to hear each other’s wolves even when in human form.”
“…”
We like you, Mate! We think you are smart and pretty and smell nice! We spend a lot of time arguing over what would make you like us! Lewis’s wolf chimed in.
“Shush…” Lewis tried to interrupt, but the wolf kept talking.
I wanted to bring you meat and expose our genitals to reassure you of our virility, but he insisted that would make you mad.
His wolf is smart. Alyssa’s wolf approved. That would have made me happy.
“…Your wolf and my wolf are on the same page. I have no desire to see genitals, though.”
“No worries, there’s a firm ‘no flashing’ rule in place. “
Her stomach rumbled. “Wouldn’t say no to a steak though!”
Hooray! We’ll bring you the tastiest of the steaks!
See, he loves us enough to bring us the best steak! We should mate him now!
Lewis ran behind a tree and shifted, quickly changing into loose fitting shorts and t-shirt. Alyssa had learned the hard way that the pack had very little sense of modesty.
After numbing her brain to the sight of naked people who had transformed back from wolf form multiple times, she had come to somewhat accept it as normal.
She was still glad that Lewis tried to not be naked in front of her. Although she was now realizing that this might have more to do with avoiding his wolf’s desire to show off genitals then anything else.
“Let’s go.” He smiled, the expression causing her heart to skip a quick beat, and held out his hand. After a short hesitation, she took it, feeling as always the thrill that came from touching him.
They walked together in silence.
As they neared the house, Lewis spoke up. “You know everyone likes you here.”
Alyssa tensed up. “But…?”
“No buts. They just like you.” He let out a quiet sigh. “You don’t have to try this hard.”
“…”
“You look relaxed when you’re talking with the pack. You’re smiling and joking around… you’ve even got half of them addicted to those werewolf romance novels… I mean your research…” He chuckled, squeezing her hand with his own. “But I can feel it, Lyss. I can feel how stressed out you are… how hard you’re trying to make them like you.”
“I…” Alyssa started to talk but then fell silent.
I told you he knows us.
“I’m not judging.” He smiled bitterly. “I wish I had met you much earlier. I don’t know what your life has been like leading up to now. I just want you to know that people like you for the weird, lovely person you are. You can try to relax a little.”
Alyssa thought his words over. “Growing up… being liked… it was safer. Especially if you were the weird kid who had a wolf voice in her head. I learned early how to read people, and act the way they wanted. I’ve grown out of it some… it does get very tiring. But I don’t know if I could completely stop, even if I wanted to.”
“That’s okay.” He grinned. “Just know that I care about you... honestly maybe more than that, although it’s just been a few weeks. You never have to try to get on my good side.”
“I don’t think we ever tried to do that.”
We tried to scare him off. And instead he treated us better than anyone else.
He grinned. “Good. Then I guess I got to see a closer side to you than most… even if it was not meant as a compliment.”
Alyssa felt scared by this. His care. His acceptance of her. Even worse by the fact she could feel through the bond that it was completely genuine.
“Don’t let it worry you too much. Let’s just take it a day at a time for now.”
She sighed with relief at his words. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” He thought it over for a moment. “Wait? What about your job at the bookstore? You’ve been here two weeks without notice? Do you still have a job?”
“You don’t need to worry about it.”
You’ll have to tell him eventually.
“If you say so.” His expression and mental state were a little sad, but she ignored it.
She would take it one step at a time, just like Lewis suggested.
________________________
Lewis was going a little crazy.
It had been a month. He spent every day at his mate’s side. Every day talking with Alyssa, laughing with her, getting to know her more and more. As they grew closer, he couldn’t help but wish for more.
They had just returned from a run through the forest in their wolf forms. He loved spending time with her wolf as well. She was much smaller than him, with silver fur and grey eyes that saw right through him. Her wolf self was much more open and playful, often pulling him to play or run through the forest. His wolf was enamored with her, yelling out offers to feed her or provide her with pups… or both. Her wolf was in hearty agreement, only to be silenced by Alyssa, who still seemed somewhat uncomfortable about the whole situation.
Lewis was happy. He hoped she would continue to stay with the pack… stay with him. He just wasn’t sure how long that would last. Fortunately she seemed completely unconcerned about how much time she took off the bookstore.
He shifted back behind a tree, changing into his clothes stuffed nearby and staring down at the ground until he heard she was done doing the same. Stepping out of his hiding spot he grinned and offered his hand.
“Should we get something to eat?”
Alyssa took his hand without hesitation. “Sure. What should we make?” Lewis felt his heartbeat speed up at her casual use of “we”.
STEAK!
STEAK PLEASE!
Their wolves chimed in, making them both shake their heads.
“How about pasta?” He asked. Feeling the wolves’ disappointment he added “We can have meat in the sauce.
YES!
Our mate is the best!
Lewis couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Her wolf likes me at least.
“ALPHA!” Gary’s panicked voice caused him to turn, seeing the large man running towards them fully naked.
Seeing Alyssa look towards the ground, Lewis couldn’t help but growl with annoyance. “Can’t you put pants on?”
“No time.” He skidded to a halt, trying to catch his breath. “It’s your brother…”
His heart stopped.
Benjamin. Nightfang. His brother. His enemy.
“What has he done?”
Gary’s face was grim. “He’s invaded. The South Segment.”
Lewis pulled off his clothes, shifting to his wolf form.
“Are there any of our pack patrolling in the area?”
“I let Teddy and Lara take that segment… it was supposed to be our safest area…” Gary rubbed his face looking horrified. “I thought it would be okay.”
“Stay here. Protect the pack. I’ll get the young wolves.”
His silent voice projected across the entire territory.
“Everyone. We are under attack. Go to your designated areas. The Nightfang pack has definitely invaded the South Segment, but it could be a distraction. DO NOT LET DOWN YOUR GUARD! Watch each others’ backs. I’m going after Teddy and Lara who were last seen in the attacked area. Listen to the Beta while I’m gone."
He hesitated mentally, continuing to run as fast as possible to the south segment, and then reached out privately to Alyssa.
“Please keep yourself safe. If you want to fight I won’t stop you, stay near Gary. If you want to stay out of the fight, go hide in the house with my mom. The pack is instructed to guard it. “
“I�� “ He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.
TELL OUR MATE YOU LOVE HER!
He wanted to. He wanted to express the thoughts, the emotions that had slowly sprouted within him in the time they had spent together. To say everything he had wanted to say when he was by her side.
But he couldn’t.
We’re not strong. We can barely protect our pack. She won’t want us. She doesn’t trust us yet.
He reached out for what he hoped wouldn’t be the last time to his beloved mate.
“Stay safe.”
With that, he continued towards the south sector.
Calling out for Teddy and Lara as he neared the attacked area, Lewis wasn’t getting any answers. He tried not to think too hard about what that could mean.
They might just be unconscious… they might not be… His wolf trailed off, hesitating.
I don’t know what Ben… what Nightfang is capable of. He might kill them. But if there is a chance they are still alive… we have to try.
He slowed down, his paws silently stepping on the soft earth. He stayed on high alert, listening for any possible signs of the intruders.
Don’t let your guard down. Someone is close. His wolf could feel the intrusion on the Packs’ territory, it bothered him.
There, in the clearing! Lewis spotted two small wolf forms laying still on the ground. Praying they were just knocked out, he crouched down and inched closer.
They were breathing.
He let out a silent sigh of relief. Scouting around, there were at least two from the NightFang pack in the clearing with the pups.
Only two.
Where’s the rest of that bastard’s pack?! Where’s Ben? His wolf snarled within him.
It’s a distraction.He had known there was a possibility. But he couldn’t leave the two young wolves for dead. He couldn’t.
And Nightfang knew that.
Let’s save them quickly and head straight back. Hopefully Gary will keep things together until we return.
I miss our mate. I hope she’s okay.
… Me too.
Lewis attacked from the shadows. Normally he would owe them a noise, some sort of warning of his approach. He should give them the chance to surrender. To run away.
He didn’t warn them. They had invaded his pack’s territory. Kidnapped and attacked their young wolves. They knew the consequences.
One wolf screamed in pain and fear as his hamstring was shredded between Lewis’ teeth. He shifted in his confusion and shock, the bloody mess even worse in human form. Lewis had already turned to the next one.
He snapped at the enemy’s flank, and as the wolf dodged to avoid his teeth, used his much heavier muscle mass to push him to the ground. He grabbed his throat, resting his canines against the carotid pulse. The wolf grew still, not wanting to push him into ending his life.
“SPEAK! What is that traitor’s plan?”
The wolf whined at his mental command, but stayed silent. Lewis began closing his jaw. We don’t have time for this. The pack is in danger. Our mate is in danger.
“He’s attacking from the West!” Sensing death close by, the wolf began to mindspeak. “He wants to wipe out your pack while you’re distracted.”
Lewis opened his jaw slightly, considering his options. If I let him go he could warn the others.
Kill him.
He surrendered.
The pack must be protected.
Let me knock him out.
“Weakling.” A snarl came behind him, and he realized it was the man whose hamstring he had torn out. Swinging a metal bar at his head. At the same time, the wolf he had pinned bucked with teeth bared, trying to throw him off and attack.
Lewis dodged, clamping down his teeth as he moved, tearing the carotid and jugular with the sharp points of his teeth. He let go, tasting blood, knowing that the wolf beneath him was dead.
One left.
Before the attacker could say anything, Lewis jumped, fangs bared, and tore his throat out as well.
We did it.
He nudged Lara, the older of the two wolves, relieved when she woke up right away.
“Grab your brother and go to the main house.” His tone didn’t allow room for argument. She nodded silently, shaking awake her brother, and the two ran into the forest.
Lewis couldn’t help but chastise himself as he watched them move away. I hesitated.
You’re our kind half. I am the viciousness we hold, the killer instinct.
I’m weak.
We have to have both, or we’ll either be a tyrant killer or a ineffective Alpha. Now stop having a personal crisis and go SAVE OUR MATE.
Lewis nodded grimly, padding off into the forest towards where he could sense the pack.
It’s time to end this.
He ran into more enemy wolves as he neared the center of his territory. This time he sighed, giving up control to his wolf. His wolf seemed relieved at taking over, fighting both enemies to severe injury or death before moving forward.
Mate. He picked up the pace.
________________________
Alyssa had never been in a fight before. At least not with other wolves.
Don’t worry, I got this. Her wolf took over and leapt at the nearest attacker. Gary and Bridget were to either side of her, their much larger wolves defending her flank.
“There’s a lot of them, but I think we’ve got control.” Gary communicated calmly, his frantic attacks never slowing.
“They seem disorganized. “ Bridgett’s silent voice conveyed her disapproval. “Did they come here just to die?”
As her wolf continued to fight, leaping nimbly in between the snarling wolves, Alyssa studied her surroundings.
This is too easy. They’re injured… starving… what have they been doing in their territory?
Her wolf had no sympathy. Bad alphas make bad packs.
She looked around in the chaos. Everywhere she looked wolves were snapping at each other. Blood stained the cold ground, trampled into the dirt churning it into mud. Howls and whines of pain filled the air.
“I don’t see him.” She communicated to the other pack members.
“Who”? Gary trampled his enemy into the mud, his jaw locking on the throat of the other wolf. “Lewis?”
“No. Benjamin. I don’t sense an alpha in this group. Shouldn’t he be larger or stronger than the rest? Where is he?”
“Maybe the Southern Sector? An alpha fight?”
“No.” Alyssa’s mind was racing. “He doesn’t seem like the type to respect Lewis enough to fight him head on. 64% of the stories show the villain attempting some sort of sneak attack. The South Sector was a distraction… and so is this. They sent their weaker, injured members to fight us.”
That means….
She took off for the main house.
Alyssa! Bridgett called out. Where are you going?
To where the real fight is.
She crashed into the house, skidding to a halt at the sight of Lewis and his mother.
No… it’s not Lewis.Their faces were very similar, but everything else was wrong: his scent, his expression, his posture.
He smells dangerous… aggressive… Her wolf complained. He’s everything our mate isn’t.
I don’t like him.
Me either… he’s scary.
We should be careful.
She kept a defensive posture, her hackles raised, her teeth bared.
Benjamin looked down at her with a mocking smile. “Ah. The princess is here.”
His mother glared at him, holding a gun in her hand. To Alyssa’s shock there were already two large wolf bodies on the floor, cooling blood spilling from multiple bullet wounds. “Don’t you look at her, Ben! You came here for me.”
“It’s Nightfang now, Mother.” Ben laughed. “And you can’t tell me what to do. Not anymore. You lost that right when you betrayed me to side with my weak brother.”
Alyssa advanced closer.
“Oh don’t give her that crap, Benjamin. You might pretend to be mysterious and evil but you’re just pathetic. You aren’t Nightfang, or Eveningclaw or even Morning-freaking-wood. You are Ben. A bitter little boy who is mad at his mommy and daddy for giving the pack to your brother.” She kept her gaze on his, and his green eyes had trouble continuing to look into her own. “Never understanding why they made the choice, even though it’s obvious to anyone else.”
“Oh really?”
“I’ve only known you for a single minute and I wouldn’t trust you to be in charge of a self-cleaning litter box, much less actual people’s lives. “
“Well, well, Princess. That’s just needlessly cruel. Trying to rile me up? Distract me?” He shook his head sadly. “That only works in stories. It’s true that I’m very disappointed in my parents’ choice. They thought I was too violent to lead. That I didn’t care enough about the pack. But I did. I’m the only one who does.”
“Sure.” She circled around, spotting one of her bags close to the wall.
“Be careful, Alyssa.” Lewis’s Mom called out, still pointing her gun at her own son. “He’s dangerous.”
“You used up all your shots in the initial attack, Mom. Don’t embarrass yourself by pretending it’s still a threat.” Benjamin reached out and took the gun from her. “I forgive you for killing my men. But you should some respect when addressing her.”
“What are you…?” She looked over at Alyssa, who stayed silent.
“You didn’t tell them? ...Interesting.” He rubbed his face, a mocking grin starting to form. “Maybe you don’t even know?”
“Shut up. “ Alyssa leapt forward, reaching for his throat. Throwing himself backwards, Benjamin shifted as he moved. At the change she miscalculated, slamming into the much larger wolf, her teeth closing on only the fur around his neck.
“You want to fight? I’ll fight.” His wolf charged, snapping at her flank while she twisted desperately to avoid him. He was larger, stronger… but she was definitely more agile.
This isn’t a winning strategy. We can’t face him head on. Her wolf was directing the movements, keeping them alive from moment to moment as Benjamin pressed the attack.
I know that… Circle around towards the back of the room. I have an idea.
They growled, running in and taking a small chunk out of his foreleg before darting in the direction Alyssa had spotted earlier. Benjamin howled in pain, slamming her with his weight, throwing her smaller form enough to slam her against the wall. At the impact she shifted, turning into her more vulnerable form.
I don’t like this. We’re easier to kill this way.
“Not excited about being naked either, but it’s necessary.” She muttered, her hands working quickly.
“He should have protected you better than this.” Benjamin laughed silently in her head. “He didn’t even realize what a treasure he had.”
SLAM!
A grey form jumped through the air, landing on Benjamin and knocking him to the ground. As they straightened up Alyssa recognized her mate with a sense of terror and relief. Relief that he was here. Terror that he was now in danger.
The two alpha wolves circled each other.
“You should have just found your own territory.” Lewis silent voice was grim, full of his authority as Alpha. “Even with your treachery, I was willing to let you go.”
“That’s because you’re weak. This is MY territory. MY pack. You are the one who has to die. And as for your lovely mate who you know so little about… how about I take her too?”
He sighed at his brother’s words. “You’re forcing me to kill you.”
“Lewis, push him my way!” Alyssa called out silently through their connection.
“That’ll put you in danger!”
“Trust me!”
Lewis ducked his head, the almost submissive posture throwing his brother into confusion. As Benjamin hesitated, Lewis charged forward, aiming not for his throat or other vulnerable points, but at his feet. Throwing all his weight behind it, Lewis tripped him up, pushing him back- straight towards Alyssa.
“Here you go! Be careful!”
“Thanks!”
“You just put your mate in harm’s way! She’s defenseless!” He snarled, turning his attention to Alyssa’s vulnerable state. “Fool!”
BZZZT
His form seized for a brief moment and collapsed to the ground,
“Nope!” Alyssa grinned and held up her Taser. “He just trusts his mate!”
“…”
“…”
There was a brief stunned silence.
“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Lewis’ mother leaned against the counter, looking relieved.
“Just one more thing.” Alyssa held up a finger. Reaching down, she grabbed her overly loaded suitcase filled with her research books.
BAM! And raised it over her head, slamming it down on top of Benjamin.
“Oof.” Both Lewis and his mother winced, but made no move to stop her.
“That’s for attacking me. Not to mention what you’ve done to Lewis!” She then reached down and pulled an ampule out of one of the pockets, stabbing Benjamin in the arm with it.
“What is that?”
“Tranquilizer.” She answered, making sure the drug injected okay.
“It’s very effective.” Lewis laughed silently in their heads, and then slowly shifting back to his human form. His green eyes met her own, and neither looked away for a long a moment.
“Are you okay?”
“Are you alright?”
They asked at the same time. Alyssa smelled his blood and panicking, ran over to look at him closely. “Where are you hurt?”
She grabbed his arm, finding a small cut there, and continued to look at his limbs.
Lewis froze. “Umm… Could we do this with clothing on?”
“…” Alyssa stepped back, rubbing her forehead as she realized that they were both naked and she had been feeling him over. “…Sure.”
“…Well” Lewis’s mother broke the silence with an awkward cough. “I’m going to go see to the pack. You two… talk.” She gave them a thumbs up and slipped out.
THIS IS A PERFECT CHANCE TO DISPLAY YOUR GENITALS! WHY DID YOU RUIN IT!Lewis’ wolf spoke up, frustrated.
“That’s not even a wolf mating ritual.” Lewis hissed. “Will you leave it alone?!”
Don’t worry! Her wolf chimed in. We don’t think you’re impotent anymore!
“See…”
So we should just get straight to the mating!
AGREE!
Lewis and Alyssa sighed slightly at their wolves’ excitement, and looked down at Benjamin, still unconscious on the floor.
“What do we do to him?” She asked, feeling tired.
“Do you still have some of those chains?” Taking the object she handed to him, Lewis bound the now human form of his brother, sneaking in a single kick in the process. “We’ll send him to the Council. He’s broken every law that I know of.”
“… You know in all the stories where he’s not killed the villain escapes and causes trouble again.”
Lewis sighed at that. “I know it would be safer to kill him. But… I…” He trailed off, looking conflicted.
“It’s okay.” She patted his arm, avoiding the injury she found before. “If you were able to kill him so easily you wouldn’t be you.”
“I worry sometimes that I’m too weak to be an Alpha.”
“I know. And I’m sure there’s probably some perfect balance of strength and mercy… but you don’t have to have everything figured out right away.”
“…thanks.”
She shrugged. “Besides, isn’t your sister still out there? Maybe the council can use Benjamin to figure out where she is.”
After handing Benjamin off to Gary and Bridgett to guard (And having them both fuss over Alyssa to make sure she was okay) the two went back to their rooms to change. Alyssa stared at the wall of her temporary bedroom, feeling conflicted.
He’s our mate. He’ll understand.
“I know. And that’s what scares me.”
Finishing her brief hesitation, she walked over to Lewis’ room, knocking on the door.
“Come in.”
“We need to talk.”
________________________
Lewis was extremely nervous as he waved his mate to sit down on the bed. He took the chair on the other side of the room.
What if she doesn’t want to stay?
She’s our mate! His wolf answered his nervous thoughts. She won’t abandon us!
“I don’t know what you told him, but your wolf is right.” Alyssa spoke up. “We won’t abandon you. Not over something silly like your evil twin brother trying to invade and kill us all.”
Lewis let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s a relief.” He leaned back in his chair. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”
She stared at the ground a few moments before painfully continuing. “So I told you I grew up in the foster system, right?”
“Right.”
“So the part I didn’t tell you… is that a few years back, around the time I turned 18… a weird guy came and found me.”
Lewis growled. “Did he try to hurt you?”
“No. Quite the opposite. He said he was a friend of my family. He wasn’t one of us… definitely human.” She ran her fingers through her hair, obviously unhappy. “He wouldn’t tell me who they were, or why they abandoned me. He just said they had no choice.”
“That’s crap. I don’t know their situation but their only option was to abandon a baby?” HE shook his head. “Something’s off.”
“I thought so too. I told him to get lost.” She hesitated. “And he gave me a million dollars.”
“What…?
“He said it was a small gift from my parents. I don’t know who my family is, or what they were involved in, but it’s probably big… and definitely not good.”
Lewis processed this for a few moments. “So your job at the bookstore?”
“I actually own it. But I have a manager run it. I stop by occasionally and shelve books while I look for new research.”
“So…” He grinned. “Does this mean you can stay longer and not worry about losing your job?”
“…”
“… Is that what you’re thinking about?” Alyssa demanded, her hands twisting in the fabric of her t-shirt. “You’re not worried about unknown schemes, powerful families… who knows what nonsense could happen! I swear, haven’t you ever read one of these novels?!”
Lewis picked up the book on the table nearby. “I started reading through a few at your suggestion.
“The Seductive Alpha’s bride?” She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“It’s research! I’m trying to learn how to be a better mate!”
He’s hoping to learn how to make himself more attractive! His wolf added.
We already think you’re both attractive!
Great! Let’s mate then!
Agree!
“Not yet!” Alyssa stepped in as their wolves got carried away once more. “Although she’s right… we do think you’re attractive…”
“Really?”
“But how about we go slow… like a date, first?”
“A date!” Lewis jumped up, his mind racing. “Yes! Let me grab my car…”
“We were just attacked… remember?”
He stopped at her gentle reminder. “Oh. Right. How about after we get things sorted out?”
She smiled, the expression causing his heart to race.
“I’d like that.”
They fell into a comfortable silence.
“So how accurate has your research been so far?” He asked after a while, curious.
“The books?” She thought it over. “You know, considering the Alphas and the relationships I’ve read about?” She looked him over again. “I’d say I was a little surprised.”
“In a good way?” His tone was hopeful, he couldn’t help it.
“Yes. As for the future though?” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “The majority of these stories have a happy ending. But we’ll just have to see.”
Lewis touched the spot that had been kissed, smiling. “A happy ending, huh? I’d like that.”
#writing#werewolf story#werewolves#alphas#mates#couple#i do know that the alpha structure isn't really natural to wolves in the wild#but it's the convention of the story type#I tried to write within the tropes of a werewolf romance but with my own types of characters#it was a fun experiment#I'll answer Asks later
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crawl home to her, b.b. x reader
chapter three // didn’t care much how long i lived
summary: bucky receives a lesson on modern music over cheap beers and freshly baked scones.
warnings: mentions of abuse, food, alcohol consumption, character death (sorry)
word count: 1.6k
author’s note: besties...how we feeling about today’s episode??? using this as a coping mechanism :)
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Your record collection was extensive and collecting an unhealthy layer of dust since you had inherited them from your grandmother. It didn’t take long to fish out a Best Of album from the vast shelves, handing over the sleeve to Bucky, who sat patiently on your forest green couch, as you fiddled with the turntable’s needle.
To busy himself, he read over the repertoire of songs listed on the back.
“Let’s Get It On?”
“Usually, a guy buys a girl dinner first, Bucky.” You took a cheeky swig of your beer with an eyebrow raise as he flushed at the insinuation. “We’ll start easy. If I Could Build My Whole World Around You. A criminally under-appreciated love song.”
A bouncy beat crackled through from the speakers as you settled into the couch beside him, tucking your legs beneath you. Today’s choice of pajama bottoms displayed little snowflakes across a navy background, despite the heat outside that still lingered into nighttime.
“I like it.” Bucky decided.
“Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell have so many amazing songs together. She might not sound like it on record, but she had a hard life. Abusive, cheating partners. Brain cancer that killed her young. Hard to know what anyone’s going through behind closed doors.”
I’d put so much love where there is sorrow, I’d put joy where there’s never been before.
“I really like it.”
Your apron still hung from your waist, the gentle tick of the kitchen timer in the shape of a grey cat sat by your side. A reminder of the scones you were whipping up when Bucky unexpectedly appeared on your doorstep. You didn’t question him or bring up the late hour. Simply ushered him in with a smile and a beer shoved into his gloved hand.
Bucky feels comfortable for the first time in a long time. Eyes focused, mind stagnant. Your perfume, woodsy and natural, lingers in the air and he has to take a long gulp of his drink just to occupy himself for just a second.
“I’m glad you like it. Though, I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone who doesn’t like Marvin Gaye. It’s like not liking Queen.”
“Queen?”
The timer rattled on the coffee table and the smell of vanilla and blueberries nipped at Bucky’s nose.
“Saved by the bell! I don’t have the time to berate you on not knowing about Queen.”
You bustled your way back into the kitchen, sliding oven mitts onto your hands as you inspected the oven with a professional certainty. The record out and into the next track as Bucky watched on, your shoulders swaying to the slow tempo. You were light on your feet as you plucked one tray from the heat and replaced it with another.
It was so easy for Bucky to imagine this world as his, with the soft swing of Motown as the soundtrack to your shared afternoons. In a different life, he would come home to your baking, ask how studying went as you swayed in the kitchen together. You would wash dishes next to one another, hips pressed close, and giggle when he would press his sudsy hands onto your cheeks. You would smear remnants of cake batter on his and he would let you feed him dessert from your fingers.
It wasn’t possible, he knew. Probably ever. You would be graduating school soon, off to be an important attorney and he would still just be your across the hallway neighbor who you sometimes shared desserts and pleasantries with. You would find out who he was eventually. Everyone did. You would leave. Everyone did.
You would simply be another in a long line of failed attempts by James Buchanan Barnes.
Still, he thought, we can have this one simple night. Where you don’t know who he is, and he can imagine that it lasts long after he retreats back to his apartment.
‘Heaven must have sent you from above.’ Crooned the lovesick singers on your record player.
As you returned to the living room with another beer and the promise of scones as soon as they cooled, Bucky could only think one thing.
He was definitely starting to like Marvin Gaye.
He was starting to like you, too.
When he returned back to his apartment, hours later with a pile of records you insisted he borrow in his arms and a belly full of blueberry scones, he fell into bed without a care in his mind. It was his first full night of sleep in ninety years.
-
Bucky started appearing on your doorstep more often.
Your number was now saved in his phone and was his most frequently used contact. You were his secret, though, something he didn’t even share with Dr. Raynor. No matter how many times she tried to get him to speak about his troubling lack of acquaintances.
You were the one thing in the world untouched by all the destruction waging a war between his ears, you were easy and simple and God, it had been a long time since anything had been simple. You didn’t mind that he was brooding and a little bit clueless, or his cheesy jokes and complaints about technology these days.
His record collection was quickly growing, though it was still nowhere near yours.
Most of all, he liked sitting in your apartment, at your kitchen counter or on that forest green sofa of yours. Sometimes, you would let him pick a record and tell him everything you could remember about it. Other times, you would read from your heavy law books and he’d pretend to understand the cases and terminology, head resting against the back of your couch, admiring how your brows would furrow in concentration. He’d tell you not to hunch over your book, but you’d insist you were fine, only to be complaining about your neck the next time he saw you.
“I wish I read more actual books, you know? It seems like all I know these days are case studies.”
The next visit he’d have a worn copy of one of his favorite books tucked under his arm. He’d read to you until you’d doze off to the stories of Bilbo Baggins and his team of dwarves, a blanket tucked up to your neck.
Every visit cemented yourself further and further into his identity, until his trips to the used bookstore down the block became weekly and his morning runs became longer as you pushed more and more baked goods his way. You’d kiss his cheek as you said your goodbyes, leaning against your doorframe as he disappeared into his apartment.
He was happy. Positively, unbelievably happy.
-
Two days before Bucky’s next scheduled visit, Steve died in his sleep.
Pneumonia, or something, Bucky didn’t really comprehend any of the newscast beyond the headline ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA DEAD’ flashing in bold letters across his television screen.
Sam called early that morning and Bucky just knew. He knew what was waiting for him on the other end of that call, so he shut his phone off and laid back on the hardwood floor of his living room, dead to the world.
He didn’t speak to anyone for a few days, not even bothering with his daily runs or grocery store trips. Your knocks at his door went unanswered, with no trace that you had even stood in the hallway waiting for him other than a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies on his doormat. The only appointment he kept was his therapy, where he stared out the window and counted down the minutes until he could leave. Each attempt on Dr. Raynor’s part to bring up Steve was shut down as quickly as it was brought up.
Finally, a week later, a pounding at the door woke him from a restless afternoon nap.
“Buck, I know you’re in there.”
Sam. Of course.
“These boxes are heavy, come on!”
Sam Wilson took up Bucky’s entire doorway with his broad shoulders, the boxes stacked in his arms taking up the rest. Bucky was quick to usher him in the door, eyeing yours across the hall. He knew one look at an Avenger on his stoop would finally connect the dots for you, and you’d never speak to the Winter Soldier again.
“Keep your voice down.” Bucky shoved the final box through the doorway before securing the lock in place.
Sam surveyed his barren living room, eyes flicking to the crumpled bedsheets gathered on the floor next to his sofa but didn’t linger for long.
“I was worried about you, man.”
It used to be ‘we’, but now it’s just Sam.
“Nothing to worry about.” Bucky pushed past him to his kitchen, collecting stray dishes he hadn’t bothered to move to the sink before then. He felt Sam’s careful gaze on him the entire time. He hated that. He hated how much Sam cared.
He mostly hated how much it reminded him of Steve.
“Found these boxes in Steve’s attic. Had your name on them so I thought you might want ‘em.”
Bucky swallowed hard, focused on scrubbing the dishes under water so hot it was turning the skin on his flesh hand a violent red.
“I know this is hard, Buck-”
The glass he had been rinsing shattered between his fingers and Sam took a step back as Bucky heaved in uneven breaths. There was a long silence between the two grieving men, neither able to fully understand the other. Sam would never feel Bucky’s ninety-year heartache, the abandonment and fear of the life ahead of him. Bucky would never understand the weight on Sam’s shoulders or his unease at the shield tucked under his bed at home.
“I just want to be alone.”
Sam could do nothing but respect his wish.
“Call if you need anything.” Were his departing words as he showed himself out.
Bucky got to work cleaning up the broken glass.
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abandoned.
summary :: breaking into an old abandoned elementary school isn’t always the best idea.
pairing :: chenle x gn!reader x jisung (platonic)
genre :: horror/thriller
warnings :: all characters are kind of dumb (first person to die in a horror movie type beat), breaking and entering, implied serial killer!au, murder, blood, descriptions of gore, psychotic actions, character death, all that stuff :D
word count :: 2.4k
a/n :: as I was writing this, I practically scared myself D: also the ending is kinda rushed but oh well
The end of the school year was supposed to be fun, full of surprises, and that one surprise was Chenle clinging onto you like a koala with a tree. Up to this point, you hadn’t thought of how much of an interesting boy he could be--but him giving you physical affection? You could never believe it.
Chenle let go of you before saying, “Come to the library with me and Jisung,” His hair was messy, as well as his uniform shirt. You assumed he just went around hugging other people besides you. He grinned at you, “We’re planning to do something fun as a celebration for the last day of school! Let’s go!” He grabbed your wrist tightly, but not enough to cause circulation loss, at least. You began contemplating whether or not it was a good idea to follow suit of the boy, knowing him. Nonetheless, you were curious.
You both arrived at the library, seeing Jisung already sitting at one of the tables reading a comic. Sitting down in front of the boy, he closed the book once he felt your presences. He greeted with a small smile, you and Chenle doing the same. “Alright listen,” Chenle started, clearing his throat before broadcasting the plan aloud, “We’re going to go to my elementary school—but with a twist.” He grinned before continuing, “It’s been so long since I’ve been there, so it’s abandoned now and I’m pretty sure no one monitors it anymore. Although... it is still intact so we need to break in.”
“Woah, wait, we are not going to break into an elementary school.” you cautioned.
Chenle rolled his eyes and rested his palm on his jawline. “It’s not like it’s haunted or anything. As I said, no one monitors it anymore--you guys just aren’t fun.”
Jisung clasped his hands together before letting out a sigh, “I thought you were joking at first and just wanted to go and play on the playground or something. But seriously?” He shuddered slightly, subconsciously flipping the pages of the comic he was reading earlier. You nodded at him before returning your gaze back on Chenle. All that was written on his face was smugness.
“We have to try it once. Think about it! It’ll be fun, you know? It’s like in movies, we just have to be cautious of our surroundings.” Chenle assured.
You can’t believe you’re doing this. You really can’t. It was 3 fucking am and you decided it was a great idea to go along with Chenle (out of everyone else in the world) and his plan to break into his old elementary school just for fun.
You packed your backpack with a few essential items: a flashlight, a few bottles of water, a baseball bat, and a crowbar. You kept it unzipped at the top so they could all fit, keeping your phone in your spacious hoodie pocket. You put on a mask and a beanie to keep yourself covered in case of security cameras. You put on your backpack, adjusting to the heaviness. If you were being honest, you had this rush of nervousness flowing through your body, the fear of not knowing what will happen to the three of you once you break in and enter the abandoned building. Nonetheless, you head to your front door to walk to Chenle’s house as the three of you decided to go to beforehand. Step by step, your body grew warmer as anxiety rose. It hadn’t hit you that you’d never done this before--you were always the type to stay in and not go out doing reckless activities; but here you are, doing that exact thing.
Immediately as you stepped on Chenle’s rug that was placed in front of the door, it opened, him now in front of you. He moved aside for you to enter the place. “You got everything?” He questioned and you nodded. “Jisung’s not here yet, so I guess we have to just wait.”
You both sat on his leather couch, staring down at the empty mug with thoughts roaming your brain. It wasn’t breaking in that was scaring you--but the thought of getting caught and living with the guilt that you had done something illegal was. Attempting to engage in conversation, you spoke, “How did you even come up with this idea?”
Chenle chuckled lightly, fiddling with the watch on his wrist. “It just came to my head out of nowhere, I guess.”
Hearing the sound of knocking on the door, you stood up abruptly, Chenle following after. You both headed to the front and opened it for Jisung. “You have everything, right? We should go now.” Jisung nodded and let out a breath he was previously unknowingly holding.
You three went inside of Chenle’s car, with Chenle driving and Jisung and you seated at the back. You took off your backpack and placed it on the floor of the car, the weight removed gave you sudden relief on your shoulders. Jisung plugged his phone into the aux cord and played soft, lo-fi music to soothe the nerves that were getting to you unknowingly.
You sighed, laying your head on the headrest of the car seat, looking out the window. It was a rather peaceful night despite what you were going to do in a couple of minutes—stars beginning to deem visible across the vast, dark sky, with only a few cars passing by in which you could count with your fingers. That was when you felt eyes boring into the back of your head, and you turned to see Jisung staring at you. You furrowed your brows and muttered a ‘what’. “I’m nervous, Y/N,” he breathed out, fear clearly laced in his voice.
You bit your lip. “It was Chenle’s idea, we can blame him for all of this.” you joked.
The elementary school definitely does not look as you expected--before coming, you imagined it to be completely abandoned, having growing moss on the walls, windows that were broken or punched, or even having “caution” tape around it. You guess it only happens in movies. But this school looked almost normal, for some reason, with only overgrown trees around it as the leaves fell on it. You let out a soft sigh, relieved that it looks fairly approachable and safe to go into.
“This is crazy, it’s been so long since I’ve been here. Let’s go!” Chenle beamed. You looked at Jisung for a moment, giving him a reassuring smile and a nod before putting on your heavy backpack and exiting the car as he did as well.
The three of you stood outside of the back door of the building, looking around for any suspicious cameras though found none. You pulled your mask up further before checking on Chenle and how he’s putting up with his attempts at opening the door. “I can’t find any key,” he grunted. You offered him the crowbar that was hanging off your backpack, and to your luck, it worked on opening the door. Jisung let out a surprised sound as he stood behind you.
The back door led to the gym in which you stood. It was empty, except for the lone basketball that sat in the middle of the vast room. The lights didn’t work, so you came to the conclusion that it would be best to use your flashlights, instead. You followed Chenle as he was the only person that knew the way around this place. He went toward the door which led to the hallway of the school, which connected to the many classrooms. The atmosphere felt terribly dismal, and it didn’t leave you with a good feeling. You couldn’t help but focus on the smell that hadn’t been freshened up for years.
“This is my 4th-grade classroom,” He slid open the door and across the room were sprawled out desks and chairs--it was like a forest, avoiding all of these objects just to get to the other side was like a journey in itself. In the back of the room were stapled class pictures of old students and teachers on a corkboard. Chenle desperately searched for the photo with him in it, searching across what seemed like around 10+ photographs. “Ah, here’s me!” He said, gesturing for you and Jisung to come to him. He pointed to his 10-year-old self, shining a flashlight on it to show it clearer. “It’s crazy how it’s still here.”
“You were cute,” Jisung commented.
“Are you saying I’m not cute now?” Chenle scoffed jokingly. He removed the photo from the corkboard and shoved it neatly into the small pocket of his backpack, thinking of showing it to his parents later today once he figures out a good enough excuse to where he found it.
You yawn, eyes getting tired minute by minute, second by second as you continue your journey throughout the huge school. You entered room 3B, which seemed like a music room—chairs stacked in 5’s, music sheets laying on the scattered desks, posters of musicians and guitar and piano chords on the walls begging to fall down to the ground as the tape holding it up collects dust. A piano lies near the corner of the room and Chenle sits on the bench that stood in front of it. He plays a mellow tune as you and Jisung look at all of the instruments that were isolated in a metal storage cabinet. You take out a recorder and try to remember the notes of the infamous ‘Hot Cross Buns’—however your memorization skill isn't the best and you end up with random noises. Jisung laughs at your attempt and you laugh back, putting the instrument back to where it was placed. You head towards Chenle, who was heavily concentrated on playing the song that was on the sheet on the music desk. You listen to the pretty sounds until he stops for a moment.
“It sounds beautiful,” you say.
Chenle chuckles before standing up and ruffling his hair, “I know, I’ve been playing practically since birth, you know?”
You both stood there, the moonlight reflecting on your skin through the thin glass. You turn your head, “Where’s Jisung?” You had thought the boy would follow you when you were walking toward Chenle—but he didn’t. There was no third shadow moving alongside yours and the boy beside you; the atmosphere grew cold. You beckoned Chenle to come with you before walking towards the classroom door to once again enter the hallway.
“Jisung! Are you an idiot? Where are you?” Chenle shouted out loud but there was no voice that followed. A curse word was muttered, you begin scrambling out of the music room to find the 5’11 boy that suddenly vanished into thin air. You knew how afraid he was during the car ride here and you never thought you would leave him alone like this. You stuck by Chenle’s side as you searched through most of the classrooms in the building.
No sign.
You were startled as you unlocked the door to the janitor’s closet, shining your flashlight down the stairwell that was somehow built in the tiny room. “Chenle, come here,” you beckoned. He rushed to you quickly; his eyes widened once he saw what was hidden inside the room.
“I’ve never seen this before,” he chuckled, “Maybe Jisung went in here, but for what?” You shrugged at the boy’s assumption, furrowing your brows before stepping in. Jisung was always curious about the world—you might think it’s his first life and he’s fascinated by every small detail that the universe could give him. Though, you would never expect that he would be curious about this particular stairwell.
A horrid smell hit you both once you reached halfway down the staircase. You muttered a curse word, “Fuck. It smells rotten in here,” Chenle agreed, nodding at you. You continued your way down to see Jisung’s body lay flat on the floor like a ragdoll. You took in a sharp breath as you quickened your steps down to see six other bodies lay in front of him. You rapidly shout out the boy’s name as you frantically attempt to shake him awake, wishing in the back of your mind that he hadn’t ended up like the bodies that were obviously sitting beside you.
Jisung groaned, sitting right side up as he held his head. “What happened to you?!” You question, helping him stand up. He looked around the room once more before taking two steps back when he watched the dead bodies lay on the floor.
He shook his head rapidly as his hands held onto your wrist. “I-I just saw that and I don’t know what happened but…” he shut his eyes. “I should’ve stayed with you guys. I’m so so so sorry.” You hear footsteps nearing you, both of your heads turn to the sound.
“Jisung!” You yell out. You froze once you see crimson flow out of his neck. Your eyes follow the holder of the knife’s arm to his face slowly. You stared with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. “Chenle, what the fuck are you doing?!” you breathed out.
Chenle tilted his head back with a slight close-lipped smile, enigmatic. Your eyes filled with tears as you watched Jisung’s blood drip, his arms holding onto what he thought was his best friend. “It’s so fun doing this!” he giggled, eyes crinkling through his smile. He pulled out the knife before quickly stabbing it back inside Jisung’s neck. “Is little Jisung whimpering? I’m just playing with you!” His psychotic laughter soon filled your ears and your breath quickened once you watched as Chenle stabbed him in the stomach laying on top of Jisung, a dark red pours onto the floor steadily. You wanted to look away but your body could do nothing but be full of shock.
Chenle’s head jerked toward your direction. You gulped as he stood up to walk toward you with an innocent smile. Once he cornered your back to the wall, he dragged the knife covered in blood along your jawline. You winced as the sharp blade cut through your delicate skin, you clutched onto nothing making your knuckles turn white. “P-please…” you whisper.
His smile dropped once the knife entered the side of your torso. “Now, you two can be with me forever.”
#chenle#zhong chenle#nct chenle#nct#chenle fanfic#chenle ff#chenle x reader#chenle timestamps#chenle blurbs#chenle drabbles#chenle imagines#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct fanfic#nct horror#nct thriller#kpop#chenle fluff#chenle angst#jisung#nct jisung#park jisung#nct jisung imagines#nct jisung x reader#nct jisung fanfic#nct fanfiction#kpop fanfiction#nct jisung scenarios#chenle scenarios#nct dream
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Good at Starting Fires
I really hated the overly sexualised way that Cassian looked at Nesta in ACOSAF and ACOSF when he commented on her drastic weight loss. Instead of being concerned that she was losing weight at a drastic pace he was more 'boobs man, great they're still there' and it wound me up no end.
I was sent a prompt by an anon that said 'angsty Nessian set in the Illyrian camp where Cassian sees Nesta in her underwear for the first time' and I found that I wanted to try and right that 'wrong' in relation to the above. Probably not quite what the requestor had in mind but hey ho.
Some mention of weight loss and concerns surrounding it.
***
The rain lashed onto Cassian’s exposed skin.
The deluge hadn’t turned into a full storm quite yet but still, this was the worst weather he had seen in a long while, the wind barrelling into him warranting his full concentration in order to continue to fly upright.
Cassian would have chanced some different manoeuvres to make flight easier but he wasn’t flying alone.
The female in his arms had said nothing to him since they left the ground, perhaps planning to ignore him for the remainder of their eternal lives. Cassian would usually provoke her into retaliating against some jibe but tonight, with thick darkness surrounding them and the harsh pelt of the cold rain against their skin, goading wasn’t suitable.
Instead, Cassian flew through the onslaught, clutching onto a shivering Nesta.
They’d exited the river house in silence. Cassian thought she would fight the decision, fight Feyre, fight him, but she hadn’t. Her lips pursed together with her spine rigid and shoulders defiant; a stubborn refusal to give any indication of defeat.
Nesta hadn’t looked at any of them, or spoken either, instead turning with clenched fists to walk out the door she’d walked in from.
“Bye then,” taunted Rhys from his place by the fireplace.
A sharp rebuke came from Feyre while Cassian rubbed his hands over his face before glaring at his High Lord. His next action was to move fast to follow Nesta.
Feyre had been on his heels but if Nesta wanted nothing to do with him she wanted less to do with her sister. Cassian reached her first and Nesta stared at him with cold eyes. “We go now,” she demanded through gritted teeth.
“Nesta!” Feyre called out from behind, half running towards them.
“Now,” she demanded again her voice thick and trembling.
For a moment it seemed like Feyre was going to shift into her wings and fly after them but maybe there was something in his expression, or Nesta’s, which stopped her.
Nesta had clung to his neck the way a child clung to their mother but he got the impression she really wanted to use her hands on his throat in a different way. The rain followed them from Velaris to the mountains; Nesta spending the entire flight with her face buried into his shoulder.
Cassian would pretend along with her that it was only raindrops falling onto her cheeks.
If the betrayal had cut her, she’d resolutely decided to not let the wound show. She’d been cornered like a wild creature by one sister and the other, the one Nesta adored with the fullness of her heart, hadn’t shown to say anything at all.
When they arrived at the cabin it was Cassian’s pity for her which made him absorb the spite spilling from her lips. The force of his landing caused mud to splash up their legs and Nesta pulled away from him the second her feet hit the dirt.
Despite the rain and with dripping hair and sodden clothes she was beautiful. The words from her mouth, decidedly not so.
“Pathetic,” she hissed at him over the roar of the thundering rain and he somehow understood her meaning underneath – how Cassian was a grovelling sycophant to his High Lord who would never place a wing out of line and never fight back.
Nesta spoke with fists clenched at her sides. Cassian wondered if there was a part of her that wanted to strike him and he wondered if there was a part of him that would let her. She turned away, her back as rigid as before, every bump of bone showing through the fabric.
Cassian frowned. The dress was drenched, clinging to her flesh in a way it hadn’t when dry, illuminating what the material would otherwise hide.
He shouldn’t have been able to see the sharpness of her spine.
“Do we have a place to go or are you reducing me to sleeping in the mud?”
Those words were small, sharp cuts which stung though Nesta had no knowledge of how Cassian’s nights as a youth were spent doing just that, with the smell of putrefying leaves on his skin and clumps of dirt under his nails.
“Well?” she snapped, turning her head to glare at him from the corner of her eye. This was a glance which said he was beneath her, that she didn’t need to turn to address him, that the sight of him offended her glorious eyes.
What Cassian saw painted a different picture; tinged pink eyes, and a red nose. The skin around her eyelids swollen.
He let the stings dissipate. Nesta had been thrown from one world into another and from that one into something new. He would hold his tongue.
“This way, sweetheart.” Well, to an extent.
They trudged across the mud, Cassian’s feet sinking into the earth as he overtook Nesta to show her the way and he didn’t bother glancing behind him to see if she followed. She had no choice, there was nowhere else for her to go.
Rain had seeped into Cassian’s clothes, his skin damp and his wet hair dripped water down the back of the neck. He was feeling wet and miserable and wondered how worse this was for Nesta in her heavy woollen dress.
His siphons emitted a soft red glow and that was all there was; them, the rain and the glow in the darkness. Not even the moon greeted them.
***
The cabin was a welcome sight.
Their belongings were there, mostly Cassian’s with some provisions Feyre had arranged for Nesta. The door creaked on the hinges as Cassian stepped into familiar, if slightly musty, surroundings.
A perfume of earth and open skies lay underneath the dust and he inhaled the scent through his nose and into his lungs. He hadn’t been here in so long with wars and commitments keeping him far away; but if Velaris was his home, this place was his sanctuary.
There was a shuffling behind him and for a moment, lost in euphoria, Cassian forgot he wasn’t alone.
Nesta stood in the entrance, surveying her new domain. Her wet hair had unravelled from her coronet braid and tendrils clung onto the side of her face. A fat raindrop travelled from her temple past her cheek and hung from her jaw before finally dripping onto her collar.
Cassian frowned again.
Nesta’s dress buttons had popped open in the flight and he saw her neck and collar bone, a strange sharpness protruding from the stark white of her skin. Shadows, he told himself, from the candle that had flamed into life. They cast shapes and make everything harsh.
Nesta’s fists were now balled into her gown as a puddle grew around her. If she noticed Cassian’s gaze she never let on and continued to sweep her eyes around the room with a bored detachment.
“This is it,” she said, “my prison for the indefinite future.” Her lips curled into a sneer. “If Feyre was going to keep me caged she should have at least made a gilded one.”
Yes, he wanted to say, because your residence was so lavish.
“Move,” but Nesta didn’t wait for Cassian to step aside before pushing past him, head high and eyes forward. She stopped in the living room, her head turning left to right as she took in more of her surroundings. Her face gave nothing away as she scrutinised the spacious open living space which branched into the enclosed kitchen.
Cassian shook his head and ground his teeth as he closed the door behind her, the wind bringing sheets of rain into the cabin. A trail of water led across the floor to where Nesta stood.
The middle of the cabin was lighter, framed by the multiple fae lights and candles, and Cassian saw so much more. Nesta’s skin was white all over but her pale hands had red, cracked knuckles and dark circles like old bruises hung underneath her eyes. A shudder rippled through her.
Rain smashed against the window panes and Cassian looked to the vast inglenook fireplace which took over one full side of the cabin.
The hearth was filled with grey ash and lumps of half burnt wood and the basket aside the fireplace held strips for kindling. There were no pieces sizable enough to get a full fire going and getting a fire burning was exactly what they needed.
“Upstairs and to the left,” he said and Nesta turned to him. “That’s where your room will be. Mine’s next to it, same side. Both will warm up quick when the fire’s lit as the floorboards heat too.” Cassian jerked his head to the stairs, “Go and get changed, I’ll grab wood for the fire.”
Her face, one of permanent indifference and as smooth as porcelain, changed. The expression lasted only seconds before Nesta schooled it into something passing for neutral.
“Fine, I shouldn’t have expected you to be prepared.”
She stormed past him, leaving enough space so not a single part of them touched, not her dress brushing against his leathers – nothing.
Cassian waited until she’d gone before releasing a sigh. He hadn’t imagined what he saw; her eyes wide in alarm, flickering to the fireplace and back, a jerk of her body like someone had slapped her with the palm of their hand.
He’d best watch for that again.
***
A sandstone path ran down the left side of the cabin which wound around a small vegetable patch, a smaller pool and down into the sloped garden. At the very bottom was an alcove of trees and the shed containing Cassian’s axe, a chopping block and, if he was lucky, some pre-cut pieces.
Through the haze of rain, the distant lights of a camp flickered beyond. Cassian was fortunate to have this place for himself, not that he didn’t reside in the centre of camp on occasion to make his presence known, but this was his slice of comfort in the otherwise endless trudge.
Now, this place was also hers, for however long deemed necessary.
The rain bounced off the paving slabs as he approached his destination. The shed was old but well-kept and thankfully, stocked with thick slabs of timber.
“Thank you, old friend,” he said with a hand to one of the trees. They were fast growing and long burning, a house warming gift from Rhys half a century prior.
Cassian gathered what he needed and turned back, the cabin an angular silhouette outlined upon the backdrop of the night sky, the mountains looming some distance away. The candles and fae lights had lit the building up from within and shone through the dark at every window.
He was halfway up the path when he noticed how bright they lit Nesta’s new room.
Cassian had never been concerned with decoration, shoving a blanket onto a bed and gossamer curtains onto the window had been enough, but now he realised how thin those curtains were, how visible the room was from the outside.
Nesta wouldn’t be able to see him, not with his leathers black against the night, but he saw everything as though she stood before him in the flesh.
She’d untied the laces that bound the stays of her dress and Cassian imagined the wet thud as it fell to the floor.
He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t wanted Nesta in front of him, unrobing for him, those long, graceful fingers sliding up her collarbone and dipping down towards the ribbons of her bodice. In his dreams he would help her, his thick fingers weaving into hers, pulling at the material until it gave way to pools of silk and satin on the ground.
Imagination gave him options.
Maybe she would have been naked, with expanses of creamy skin readily available for his viewing or maybe there would have been a delicate piece of chiffon covering her like there was now, something flimsy for him to move aside.
He would have started by kneeling. His fingertips would trace the skin of her ankles before moving upwards to her calves, her knees and to her thighs which he would have kissed until she was breathless. Finally, he would have travelled upwards with his mouth, towards the apex.
This was his fantasy. Smoothing his palms over her curves, travelling up the cord of her spine, his tongue sliding over her skin, teasing with his teeth and all the while her breath would turn into pants, his name a prayer in her mouth.
This was a dream. Nothing more.
He stood alone in the dark, pounding heartbeat thundering in his ears and pouring rain saturating his hair as he spied on a female he now never hoped to hold.
By the Mother though, her body was far from what his mind had conjured and his heartbeat turned into a pain sinking between his ribs.
He’d thought he’d seen glimpses but here was the truth.
Her collarbone jutted out severely while her breasts and curves of her buttocks shrunk as her starved body ate away at whatever flesh it found. Nesta’s ribs - Cauldron her ribs – Cassian was able to count every one, the indents of her bone visible as though her skin was the thinnest paper. When she turned, he saw the same with the column of her spine.
He swallowed the lump in his throat down, a sting in his eyes that was nothing to do with the chilled wind.
***
Inside the cabin, Cassian dried out the wood and lit the fire, the red and orange flames dancing in the hearth.
Nesta might not eat but he would try and convince her, starting with something simple and small which would fill her but not make her sick. Shoving a plate of meat in front of her face was a bad idea so he decided on a light broth consisting of flavoured water and leafy vegetables and herbs grown from his garden.
Cassian was surprised she came when he called her down but was pleased when she did. Nesta stepped along the floor with bare feet, a new gown just as thick as the last covering the bones of her body.
She stayed close to the wall when she passed through the living space, the fire cracking and snapping opposite and she eyed the flames as though they would reach across the room and snatch her.
Cassian wasn’t sure where this fear had come from, tried to dredge any memory of where they’d faced fire and came up wanting. He’d ask her – not now – but when they’d reached a point of peace.
Still, she walked toward him, her throat moving as she swallowed fast.
“I’ve made us dinner,” and he gestured to the two watery bowls in front of him. Opposite each other. Face to face. Her eyes narrowed but she sat, suspicion on her face.
“What is this slop?”
He took a deep breath. Imagined her words as darts and his skin as impenetrable armour.
“An Illyrian broth; vegetables, herbs, some spices and the thinnest slices of poultry you’ll ever find.”
“It looks revolting.”
A muscle twitched in Cassian’s jaw. The dish was plain, colourless and watery but was filled with flavour and had what Nesta needed nutritionally.
He would refrain from telling her this was the staple of Illyrian’s recovering from sickness or injury, that he’d spooned this liquid into the dribbling mouths of multitudes of his brethren over the years and how he wasn’t above doing the same to her.
“Try it,” was all he said. “You might like it.”
“Doubtful.”
But she picked up the spoon, a tremor in her hand. Fear, withdrawal, or exhaustion he didn’t know. Maybe all three. Maybe rage.
Nesta bent her head forward, bringing the spoon to her lips and as she did, her dress, far too large for her frame gaped at the collar once again showing Cassian the sharpness of the bone under her skin.
Something sat heavy in his stomach, something like guilt and shame. He’d once thought of her as sharp tongued and soft curves, his mouth watering at the promise of the swell of her breasts and the shape of her backside.
His thoughts had been occupied with images of grabbing her with his hands, fingers digging into the folds of her flesh while they pounded the force of their desires onto each other. Nesta was no less beautiful now but when he thought of her body, thought of what he knew, he considered differently as to what his body would do with hers.
His fingers would likely bruise her, leaving crescent moons into her skin and the bones of her spine would be obvious to his gaze. Now, he wanted to use his build to hover over her, to envelop her with his wings and cradle the back of her skull with the palm of one hand and cup her cheek with the other.
Cassian needed to make this situation right but he didn’t know where to start other than this meagre offering of broth.
Nesta ate two spoons, possibly three, but at least she ate, her eyes fluttering closed as she savoured her meal, the shadows of her eyelashes playing on her cheekbones. He smiled at her enjoyment, however brief, feeling his heart soar.
Nesta opened her eyes and looked straight at him. Cassian dropped his smile and her eyes narrowed.
I’m happy you like the broth, he wanted to say, however little you take. I’m happy you tried. I think you’re dying. I don’t want you to die. I want you to want to live.
A log fell in the hearth and banged against the grate, popping into the air and Nesta flinched, her eyes snapping towards the sound.
The flames seemed to hypnotise her as they whirled among the wood, consuming what they needed in order to grow. Wherever she was in that moment she wasn’t in the room with him.
The moment passed and Nesta snapped her head back to Cassian, slamming the spoon into the bowl.
“I’m not here for your entertainment.”
“I know that.”
“Then stop staring at me like I’m a festival showpiece.”
Cassian frowned, “I wasn’t staring.”
“Tell your gawping eyes that.”
The muscle in his jaw twitched again. He was exhausted, not only from the long day but from arguing with Rhys about the plan, and from convincing Feyre that he and Nesta would be fine. His blood, already on the rise, had gained extra heat when Amren made her parting comment to him and all this was before he began flying.
“I wasn’t staring,” he repeated, “believe me when I say there’s nothing worth looking at.”
His temper was still hot, irritation singing a song in his veins and this was default for him, the well-travelled road to flinging insults.
It was a road Nesta travelled herself.
“Well, believe me when I say that even if I’m nothing I’m still worth twice of you, bastard.”
“You’ve been exiled to the camps so that’s not what your sister thinks. Either of them.” He gestured around with his hand, “Do you see Elain begging to be let in the door?”
Nesta’s nostrils flared, her hands now clenched into two fists, those red cracked knuckles on display.
“Well, this shows what your ‘friends’ think of you, if I’m worth little to nothing in their eyes and they have you taking care of me?”
“You should be thankful, sweetheart. No one else volunteered to listen to your temper tantrums.”
“Let me ease your burden then.” She stood, jolting the table and the bowl moved, spilling liquid over the side. “I would hate to bore you with one of my childish tantrums.”
“By all means, take yourself off to bed. You’re obviously in need of a nap.”
Nesta bared her teeth at him and Cassian schooled his face into one of boredom. She turned, her gown brushing against the furniture and as she passed through the living room, she grabbed a thick blanket draped across one of the chairs.
There was a change to her face as she went, fleeting but not fleeting enough for his sharp eyes. Regret? Yes. What she regretted he didn’t know but the snarl had also turned into a smirk, a twist of her mouth which screamed, I am victorious.
What had she won? The prize was a night alone in an unlit room with a blanket and empty belly.
As she left, the bored expression slid from Cassian’s face to be replaced by a furrowed brow.
Nesta was playing a game, one which required her to start fights so she could flaunt from the room as though leaving were her choice. He’d seen her grip, the furrow of her own forehead and the stark whites of her eyes.
She didn’t like the fire and she didn’t want to eat - or she couldn’t eat.
All Nesta’s choices had been stripped away from her in one afternoon and her decision to exit swiftly and in outrage was all she had.
He let her. He goaded her, stoking the small flame she held burning until she felt something, even if that emotion was irritation and anger - anything as long as it wasn’t cloying fear. If Cassian told her to leave then she would have stayed in her misery to spite him.
Cassian lifted a clay pot lid, surreptitiously positioned beside him on a chair, to cover her bowl. He would leave the dish outside her door with a slab of buttered bread. Maybe she would eat if it wasn’t in front of his watchful eyes.
He would eat his own in his room, the space of the kitchen and the living area seeming too big now, too empty without Nesta’s presence.
As he passed by the hearth, he lowered the flames with his siphons, letting them burn down. As he did, he thought of another fireplace, in another home, in a time which seemed forever ago.
He would help her even if she hated him for it. Cassian would prefer her vitriol to the nothingness living inside her where even her scent had turned glacial; ice cold to the bone.
So yes, Cassian would let the embers burn low for now but he was a creature of air and flame. He was good at starting fires.
TAGGING:
@nehemikkele
You are the only person who has ever requested a tag from me so thank you so much! :)
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Nora Valkyrie, Identity, and Purpose
Hey everyone, Blaire here, and almost exactly a year ago, I made this mess of a post where I laid out all of my thoughts on Nora and what I thought the show could have in store for her.
And honestly, most of my ideas were way off, and not at all correct. Also, the post kind of flopped.
Thankfully, Volume 8 has given me a chance to redeem myself, and write another, more coherent, essay about my favourite RWBY character; where this Volume seems to be taking her character, and what it means to me, personally.
Buckle up.
To the vast majority of people in the RWBY fandom, Nora is the least-developed character, and the one most lacking in dimension. Most of her character seems to be defined by two things; her energy and love for fighting, and her relationship on Ren.
Volume 8 took note of these conceptions, and addressed them head-on.
Of course, any keen-eyed viewer will have noted Nora’s hidden depths even before this volume, which I noticed in last year’s post. She is perhaps the most perceptive of the main cast, at least, when it comes to people’s feelings and relaionships. She was the only one to really comment on Pyrrha’s crush on jaune, and the first to bring up Blake and Yang’s growing relationship. It was also her level-headedness that resolved RNJR’s argument in Volume 4, Chapter 9.
Volume 7 also showed us her innate desire to protect the weak, and her disdain to those who have the power to help, but refuse. I personally get the feeling that this was her driving motivation in becoming a Huntress; to protect people who cannot protect themselves, perhaps because she doesn’t want anyone to have to grow up as she did. Nora’s fury at Ironwood in V7C7 is esepcially signifigant, because it’s the angriest we’ve ever seen her before, even more so in that this anger is directed at someone with much more authority than her.
But these little details were only the tip of the iceberg. These were traits she already had, and while they help to add layers to her character, they’ve done very little in terms of her actual development.
This is where Volume 8 came in stronger than any other.
Volume 7 hinted to us that Ren and Nora’s relationship was beginning to get more complicated, between their bickering, Ren’s dismissiveness at Nora, and their kiss in V7C6. By the end of the volume, it was clear that they were still struggling, despite their clear love for each other. Volume 8 carried this thread along, having them split into different parties, and Nora giving Ren a bit of attitude we’ve not really seen her direct at him before.
She’s frustrated with him, and disappointed that he can’t see what she sees. But despite her tough front, V8C2 then hints that she’s sadder about the split than she’s letting on, after May brings up Nora’s ‘friends’. C3 then brings this to a head, where we get a conversation that sees Nora opening up to Blake and Yang, and revealing a deeply sad truth about herself- that she has no idea who she is without Ren, because she’s spent so much of her life with him and him alone, and her feelings for him have shaped so much of who she thinks she is. We’ve never seen her so hopeless and lost, especially after she reveals that, as far as she’s concerned, all she’s good for is hitting stuff.
Right in these few minutes, the show takes how the audience percieves Nora, and reveals to us that those two core traits are the gateways to a far deeper insight of her character. She’s known for her relationship with Ren, but wait- what about when he’s not there with her? She’s known for hitting stuff, but wait- that’s all she thinks she’s good for.
It’s revealed to us that, not only is this how most of the audience percievs Nora, but it’s how she percieves herself. And for all her energy and upbeat attitude, deep down, she thinks incredibely lowly of herself. For all her confidence in her fighting abilities, she lacks confidence in herself as a person.
Surprisingly enough, the ‘who am I?’ character arc is one that was hardly explored at all up until this point, despite it being one of the most common and signifgant character arcs in fictional media. And I don’t think many of us at all could have imagined that Nora would be the one to get that arc, when she’s always seemed so self-assured on the surface.
And then, when Penny is in need of help, Nora takes Weiss’ advice to heart, and does the one thing she believes she’s capable of- being strong, and hitting stuff.
Nora overcharging her Semblance to take down the wall is seen by a lot of the fandom as some kind of win for Nora; as her ‘big moment’. But while it’s certainly a really cool and badass scene, it was far from a triumph for her.
This was Nora at perhaps her lowest point so far in the series. This was Nora figuring ‘well, if this is all I’m good for, I’ll do it to the extreme’. This was Nora thinking her only purpose was to greatly endanger herself for the sake of others, because she figured she was the only one who could. And she almsot got herself killed for it.
While certainly a defining moment, it was far from triumphant. It wasn’t a win. It was a self-destrcutive act that reflected how little she thinks of herself; that she’s not worth anything unless she’s pushing herself to the limit doing the one thing she thinks she’s good at.
And to drive the knife in harder, it backfires horribly.
Because now she’s bedridden and critically injured, with scars that are probably permanent; a reminder of her lowest point, forever marked on her body. She can’t fight now, can’t help at all, and Salem has launched her attack on Atlas.
And in her half-unconsious state in V8C7, she realizes this, delivering an absolutely heartbreaking line:
As far as she’s concerned, her last attempt at doing what she thinks only she can do- what she thinks is all she can do- has prevented her from doing anything of worth at all. She lost one half of herself when she split from Ren, and now she’s lost the other half too. The two things that she defines herself by are gone. And the worst part is, we don’t know if she’s awar of the fact Salem has begun her attack. We could very well see her fully wake up, only to realize that the world has begun ending while she was unconsious, and she can’t do anything about it.
Now, this scene, and Nora’s struggle in this Volume as a whole, hit home for me in particular.
If you follow me on Twitter, you’re probably aware that Nora is only of my hightest- and only- kins. And I’ve only been able to relate to her more and more after what we’ve got of her in this Volume.
I am chronically disabled. I have a connective tissue disorder known as Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which fucks up my body in a multitude of different ways, but signifigantly affects the joints. For me, it hits worst in my back, ankles, and my fingers. The fingers are my main problem. To make matters worse, I’ve also been victim to intense pains in my shoulder, which came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and have only gotten worse since. The slightest movement aggrevates it. As any follower of mine would know, I am both an artist and a writer. I create both for fun, and I’ve studied writing as a profession. It is these things I’m known for being good at, and not much else.
Thanks to my disability and my shoulder though, I have to do these things less. Even on perscription pain medication, it still hurts. It hurts to write this even now; my shoulder feels like it’s burning up from the inside. It will only get worse over time.
So, I’m finding myself in Nora’s position. I can’t do what I’m good at anymore, and I don’t know what to do with myself as a result. Not doing these things makes me feel lazy and unproductive, and makes me feel that the people around me will abandon me so long as i can’t keep providing them content. And I’ve gotta say, it hurts a lot, and I don’t just mean physically.
Because of what I’m going through, it’s especially important to see my favourite RWBY character just so happening to be dealing with the same problem; the same loss of idenity and purpose. We don’t know who we are or what we’re good for without the things we think define us.
While I’m unsure of my own future though, I find comfort in knowing that Nora’s problem will be tackled and addressed; that her friends will help her to rediscover herself and find her true worth. And while we’ve got a while to go until we’ll be able to see the Volume continue, I’m incredibely excited to see where Nora’s arc goes, especially if we can get some backstory along the way. I find myself wondering if her life before Ren is part of why she thinks so little of herself without him- was it the way she was raised to think? Is this the fault of her childood circumstances? Or is this just something she developed on her own, after becoming too dependant on Ren for comfort?
Whatever answers we get, I have faith that Nora’s story will be told well, and I’m very sure that it’s only just beginning. Even if she finds her worth before the end of the volume, her story won’t be over yet, not when we’ve still likely got at least four more volumes to go after this one.
In just seven episodes, Nora Valkyrie has gone from one of the least developed characters, to one of the most interesting and relatable, at least, in my eyes. There is so much more depth to her character than having a crush on Ren, and being the strong girl who hits stuff. There’s a layer of tragedy to her character that we’re touching upon now, and I’m excited to dive into it.
Thank you all for reading!
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Hello darling💖 May I request hcs for Azul, Rook, Leona and Malleus where their female s/o proposes to them - romantic setting with a fancy ring and all? What would their reactions be?
Hi, Luv! Sorry about the wait, but I hope you enjoy these headcanons! Just to clarify, all these headcanons will take place after their time in NRC so that all the characters are of legal age.
~The Boys’ Fem!S/O Proposes to Them (ft. Azul, Rook, Leona, and Malleus)~
~Azul Ashengrotto!~
Azul may not say this out loud, but he is very much grateful to have you in his life. Ever since you two met at Night Raven College, his whole world has brightened. And given his past, you’re one of the only people he’s opened up to aside from Jade and Floyd.
After you both graduate, you open up your own restaurant alongside the coast. It wasn’t difficult considering the revenue Azul obtained at the Monstro Loung, and the two of you successfully run it together. The restaurant is Mediterranean-themed with a hint of Athenian architecture, and the large windows can perfectly capture the sun setting on the ocean’s blue waves when the time comes.
You two just so happen to be walking down the beach as the sun began to set, your feet crunching upon the pale sand as your fingers interlocked with his. The moon was rising out of the other side of the world as the skies turned a variety of pinks, oranges, and reds. Truly a wonderful way to spend the day after long hours of work...
You suddenly stop in your track, removing your hand from Azul’s. He looks back, wondering why you stopped. With your hands behind your back and your eyes averting his gaze, Azul grows increasingly worried by this situation. Why were you not talking to him? Did he do anything wrong?
It wasn’t until you got down on one knee and pulled out a small, black, velvet box that you finally spoke to him, telling him how important he was to you, and how he’s made your life so much better. You reiterate your love to him, and with a simple question, you ask if he would like to spend the rest of his life with you.
With that question, you pulled the box open to reveal a ring lying in the cushions. The band is stainless silver with a sapphire gemstone in the center, surrounded by small, silver seashell engravings.
At first, Azul stood there, dead silent. It takes him a while before he responds to your answer, and even then he doesn’t utter a word until he already has his arms wrapped around you in a hug. He whispers in your ear how much he feels the same, and how he would love to be your husband till the end of your days as you slipped the ring onto his finger, ending the evening with a kiss as the moon rose above you to the night sky.
Were Floyd and Jade watching this entire scene unfold? Maybe. Don’t worry, though, Jade made sure Floyd didn’t ruin the moment for you two...
~Rook Hunt!~
Your relationship with Rook has been an interesting one, to say the least. Rook isn’t known to be quiet about his love for anything beautiful, and he is not afraid to openly express his love for you, even in the middle of the school hallway. Even if he gets a few weird stares from his actions, his words and actions of affection and love will always remain true for you.
When it’s time to actually propose to him, you’re actually not sure if you can pull it off as a surprise. As much as his antics may seem random, Rook is far from idiotic and is a very cunning man, so despite your attempts to be the proposer, just know there is a slight chance that he’ll do it first.
So let’s paint the setting for this proposal: It’s years after your time in Night Raven, and you and Rook have moved into a cottage within the Land of Pyroxene, right next to a small forest for him to hunt from time to time. One day, you ask him to close his eyes as he followed you into the woods. When you told him to reopen it, Rook is greeted with a small picnic setup, the checkered blanket illuminated by the bright sun.
As you two have your picnic, you get very wary of having Rook do anything during your lunch date. Specifically, you’d always get something from the picnic basket, and wouldn’t let him touch it for some reason. He’s curious about your behavior but doesn’t question it, even when you tell him to turn around to look at a nearby tree for another moment.
Before you ask him to turn back to face you, you mention how your love has never faltered for him years after you two started your relationship back in high school. You thank him for all the love he’s given you, and subtly mention how you don’t want your relationship to end.
As you grab Rook’s hand, you ask him to turn back to face you. When he does, he’s greeted by an immaculate ring that you brought in the picnic basket. The ring is a golden, nature-styled ring with vines and small diamonds cut into leaves. At the center of the ring lays a shining emerald.
Rook, filled to the brim with joy, does not hesitate to take you in his arms and brings his lips to yours in a passionate kiss, making you nearly lose the ring in the grass below. He’s in utter bliss with the thought that he can be your husband - and to have you be his love, his amour - as he picks up the ring and places it on his ring finger. As he finishes the kiss, he vows to be an amazing husband as you lay together on the blanket underneath the sun. As much as he wants to go to all his friends and spread the word, he’ll be glad to do that later just to savor this moment.
~Leona Kingscholar!~
Leona does have doubts regarding any marital aspect of your relationship. Due to his upbringing as the second child, he doesn’t see his marriage as valuable to his family. Specifically, he doesn’t think his family is gonna make a big deal out of it compared to when his brother got married and had Cheka. He’s not opposed to marriage overall, but he absolutely loathes the idea that he might get compared to his brother again.
However, you’re determined to break through that troublesome mindset and show how much your love for him means to you. So one day, you arrange a date outside his home in the Afterglow Savannah. You don’t tell him where, exactly, but assure him that he’d love it.
When you arrive at your destination, he’s the first to walk into the amazing scenery in front of him. In the time spent looking at vast grasslands of the Savannah, Leona’s jaw nearly drops at an oasis in front of him, watching as numerous birds fly across the body of water as it's surrounded by endless, vibrant greenery.
You lead him into an area along the waters filled to the brim with small fish that swam without a thought in the world, shaded underneath a large tree in which you rested upon. Seeing this setting kind of reminded you of the times he’d sneak off to sleep in Night Raven’s gardens during classtime all those years ago.
And now that you had this oasis to yourself, you plan to bring out the best of this situation. Your carefully bring in Leona closer to you, making him rest on the tree beside you. Your enclose you hands around his own, embracing the warmth of them before giving a small kiss on his cheek. You express how grateful you are to have him in his life, and how you haven’t stopped loving him since your high school years. Most of all, despite all his doubts and his self-loathing for not being the firstborn son, you’ll proudly call him your king if it means that you can stay by his side.
With that, you let go of his hands before pulling a luminous ring from your pocket and placing it on his finger. The ring looks simple enough, but upon closer inspection is textured with braid-like engravings of gold, silver, and bronze.
Leona sits there shocked as he gazes down at the ring, not sure what to say next. After a while though, you finally get an answer. He smirks down at you, joking about how this should’ve been the one time he shouldn’t have slacked off on his duties. Albeit, he is a bit begrudged by how you got to propose to him first, but doesn’t let it get to him as he pulls you in for a kiss. He intertwines his ringed hand with yours as he comes to accept that you will become his wife one day.
~Malleus Draconia!~
In comparison to the rest of the bachelors, Malleus is definitely the most complicated man to propose to. Not because he’s opposed to the idea of you two being together - far from it, seeing as though you were one of the only people to even so much as approach him without fear.
The problem stems from the roles you pose after you graduate from NRC. Being the next King of the Valley of Thorns, Malleus is swamped with responsibilities as soon as you both graduate. He brings you back to his homeland to live with him in his castle, but you tend to stick out like a sore thumb among the fae crowd.
So for this plan to work, you figured that the best option to propose to him would be at around nighttime. One day, you woke up extra early so Malleus wouldn’t come to fetch you to accompany him for his duties. When he enters your room, he reads a note you left behind on your bed explaining you went to the market and wouldn’t be back until night. You ask that he would make time to meet you on the castle’s rooftop by then, but don’t mention why.
He’s confused on why you left so abruptly, but doesn’t really put that much concern over your well-being - he knows that he can easily find and protect you if things go wrong. So the day passes by, and you’re nowhere to be found, leaving him to his lonesome. Finally nighttime arrives, and he makes way to the rooftop like you ask.
Malleus immediately notices you standing next to a gargoyle - a reminder of him and his adoration for the architecture - as you gazed at the rest of the kingdom. You turn around to face him, apologizing to him for such a lonesome day, and that you wanted to talk to him just by himself. You explain how you’ve been considering major changes in your life, and how you’ve been wanting to be by his side more and more, reminiscing on the time at NRC that you’d never forget.
As you say this, you pull out a ring for him. The band is dark, almost coal-colored, yet shines just as luminously as the amethyst and diamonds that decor the top like a flower with its petals scattered. You look at him with an anxious look on your face, asking him that important question - to let you be his wife, and for him to be your husband.
Malleus is confused by this sudden proposal, since this custom isn’t necessarily normal for fae. However, once again charmed by your actions, he sees no reason to say no. He walks over to you and leans down for a kiss, taking your ring and placing it on your own finger. When he finished the kiss, he holds your hand gently in his, affirming that you would make a great queen for his kingdom. Will this end up causing a ruckus from some of his subjects? Maybe. Does he care? Not in the slightest.
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