#i feel like i havent slept in two days

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below) #My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm.. #pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread... #I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever. #And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

[e-the-village-cryptid]

screaming sobbing begging my brain to let me think about something other than andor

#it's been TWO MONTHS #of the most intense hyperfixation i've ever experienced #it was starting to calm down to just a normal obsession but then it got bad again this week #i havent slept more than 6 hours in 5 days my brain won’t let me go to bed not when there's andor #talking about andor is like. a need for me. if i don’t i feel so hollow and like my brain is itchy #helpppp i cannot live like this #andor please what do i need to do relinquish your hold on me please i need to sleep #an e original

[widevibratobitch]

.

#vent post uwu havent seen those in a while have we <33 #looks like a depressive episode again #aw shucks #:/ #laid in bed all day. did absolutely nothing. slept for 18 hours. #havent washed my hair since saturday. havent taken my thyroid meds in three days so idk that may have sth to do with this too ig #my flat is a total mess and im ignoring all uni groupchats (uni itself as well) and non-groupchats too. #only pretending im Normal to my best friend even tho she explicitly asked me to tell her when im feeling Bad and she does reach out to me #with her problems but i just cant bring myself to talk to her about mine #also i miss my ed so badly i need it back desperately. and i mean DESPERATELY. #anyway. something is seriously seriously wrong with me rn. like fr. #and i still haven't found the earring kms #had a bit of a ✨strongly suicidal✨ moment yesterday like it really made me go Wowwwwww girl hold yer horses cause yeah. #we havent seen that one in a while either #(no matter what my evil poll tags might have said lmao). anyway. absolutely horrible last two days. #and i once again feel like the worst and most useless and most disgusting person in the world. #my body is trash and there's nothing in this world that i hate more than it. i wish it would just. evaporate. whatever. #i hate it with a passion. peace and love.

[justinefrischmanngf]

going through it.

#i literally thought to myself i need to be 6 again which is how you know things are Not Good!!!!!!!!!! #i don’t know what i Want and it’s driving me CRAZY and every option feels so scary but i don’t think in actuality it is #i’m so fucking tired but i can’t sleep bc i was stupid and slept at 6pm and fucked it up #i have two classes tomorrow and i havent done the work for either of fjem #* them which is embarrassing and i need to make a decision that is quite significant and i thought i knew what i was going to do about it #but now i’m not sure and every minute is getting closer to when i do have to decide #and i’ve got a roommate again so i cant even just. like. idk. #and physically i feel like shit and i have to see my dad tomorrow night and i just wish i wasnt attached to anyone ever #but clearly i dont bc i keep doing things that make me attached to things/people so i need to get over myself #and i’m really worried abt something happening at home like idk it’s set off alarm bells in my head #all of this will be absolutely fine i just wish there wasnt an all of this in the first place #and i wish i could fault something other than my bad decisions but at the end of the day these are consequences of my actions so like. #that’s that and now i have to deal with it

[catboy-kakashi]

Noticing a pattern in your behavior that may be a sign of something much larger but instead of trying to analyze that you just quickly put the lid back on the oil fire and walk away

#i have some. problems. when it comes to food #i wouldnt call it like a disorder by any means #i feel like that would be trivializing what people with EDs go through #but uh. well i have been at someone else’s house petsitting and i’ve barely eaten anything besides the bag of veggie chips i brought #and im starting to think. maybe. i need to assess my issues with feeling like im allowed to eat or take food thats offered to me #without being explicitly handed the food and being told its for me #haha uhhhh. haha. anyway. i think i’ll cope with this by projecting onto fictional characters and then never self reflecting #​ camtankerous is whining #like they straight up SAID ‘theres leftover in the fridge! feel free to eat those!’ #but because they said that and not ‘thats for you!’ my brain says ‘theyll eat that if i dont. i should leave it for them. its not for me’ #like idk. like i dont DESERVE to eat someone elses leftovers??? thats so fucking SAD. that makes me sound like a stray dog or something #i havent had coffee for several days either bc asking how their coffee machine worked felt like admitting i was planning on taking #their coffee and like. maybe im not allowed to have coffee! thats THEIR fancy coffee #i newrly slept on the fucking couch instead of one of the TWO guest beds they told me i could use. whats wrong with me #negative #vent #sorry i just. ive been really stressed out the last few days and i needed to get this out #i straight up dont know where this behavior comes from. its not like my parents were abusive or didnt let me have food?? #its like im afraid to let myself enjoy things. who the fuck do i think is going to come and take it away or yell at me. #HAHA wow thats a wall of text huh. i should probably go to therapy! #if youre still reading this do not look upon my wretched form. i dont want you to think less of me for this

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

i would prefer it if my dog didnt try and come help me when im throwing up like jay, this is lovely support and all but i dont want to near this, trust me, you dont either

#kai rambles #personal #delete later #tw vomit #this is mostly a vent post because i hate throwing up #like im consistently ill but vomiting is not a common symptom for me #and thank god for that because this is the actual worst #i also havent been able to take any of my 19 daily medications for two days because the only thing ive kept down is small pots of jelly/o #like i very much need to take these medications #this is my not going blind medication #the one good thing about not being able to keep things down is that i can very clearly tell because if you put food next to me #i can smell the ah ill throw up if i eat this #so at least it doesnt come back up #so its mostly liquid and something that i hope isnt blood but i dont know why theres something red in there #im having a great day can you tell #tbf i slept for like six hours early after like a 13 hour sleep #also like nhs 111 stop asking me if my chest feels cold #i cant reliably answer this i have nerve damage and cant detect cold #do it feel cold? i dont fucking know

[0tul1ss]

.

#OKAY so i worked for 6.5 hours and i got really tired bc i hadnt slept much at all for two nights in a row #but i ended up shadowing [redacted] for most of the day and like god he was so fucking happy i was there #and i was happy to be there! #he really does help put me at ease #we havent talked or hung out like that for years and we were both like 'hey i missed this' #i could go on and on but basically work went really well and seeing [redacted] again went really well and everyone there was so nice #and after getting to vibe w [redacted] again i just. man. i feel like im glowing #vent

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

#so for the last like. as long as i can remember. ive had a shit sleep schedule #mostly like sleep all day and stay up all night kinda shit #but i got sick/burnt out recently and slept for almost two days straight #and somehow it reset my sleep schedule to something normal #like i went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 5am for the last few days #and i havent had to nap #and the not needing to nap is really fucking with me #like im used to waking up. feeding my dog. and then napping until i go to work #i should be napping rn. but im not tired #i dont have to get ready for work for another four hours and ive already been awake for three hours #i went to the coffee shop and to walgreens. im in real clothes instead of pajamas. i did a load of laundry #im laying in bed (its so hot i might be dying) and i just. dont know what to do with my time #im probably gonna do some cleaning and packing because im moving in two months #idk im just feeling some strange type of way because for the last few days ive been. alive #instead of sleeping my life away #its so strange. i got sick. slept for a few days. and now my biggest problem is just fixed? and i can have a life now? #its 70 degrees today and the world is my oyster. what should i do? #i have a list of chores im gonna do. i might walk to the coinstar machine so ill have money #yeah i want to do that cuz im in the negatives in my bank account but i want to get a cool drink before work today #my dad texted me this morning 'noticed your bank account is overdrawn for the second time this week. whats going on kid?' #which is such a sad text to get because i know im broke. thanks dad. lets pls ignore my financial hardships #if you want to make my dad less sad hmu for my venmo /hj #anyways ill probs do that today. get some cash so i can get a frozen lemonade from wawa or something #yknow that post thats like 'seasonal depression seems fake until its 50 degrees in march and it feels like you took a party drug' #i think thats partially whats happening here. its 70 degrees and sunny and my systems dont know what to do with that #i hope youre all having a great day that you dont sleep through. i love you!!

[xxlelaxx]

I feel like the worst mom ever and I've only been at this for a day.

#ignore me #i feel asleep twice while holding her ive struggling so hard to find good breast feeding positions and i just took four hours to calm #her down enough so she would sleep and no matter what i tried it didnt work #I'm so self conscious and worried about everything and i am so hungry and still sore and exhausted from birtj #my husband is doing so much and doing so well and i feel like a wreck #i havent slept in days and honestly doubt i will now #everytime i look at her i dont think i deserve hee #he keeps telling me that i was amazing and that he will never tolerate anyone ever making slight jabs at women being the “weaker” gender #which he didnt tolerate before that anyways bit he just keeps going off about how amazing i was and how strong and how much he appreciates #and i just can't cause now i wont be able to help again and i know so many women who did all of this alone and they did it so much better #than i did #she started crying again #i ate four pieces of sushi #and went to the toilet #but at least she didnt wake her dad #that man has been so sleep deprived I'm starting to get worried #this is the first night in five nights where he has slept for more zhan two hours #this also is her first night sleeping in her own bed and i think h #she is swallowing too much air cause i cant get a hold of breast feeding #this must be a horrible first day alive

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

.

#i had the worst fucking nightmare yesterday when i took a nap and i havent slept since 😣 #it technically wasnt all bad but it was one of those lucid dream situations and ive been groggy ever since (but cant! fuckigng sleep!) #and then i was studying but i think im getting burnt out bc i cant fucking concentrate bc im so fucking stupid and i #keep getting practice questions wrong and my test is in TWO WEEKS and i know NOTHING even tho ive been studying for so long #i feel so hopeless like i genuinely think im gonna fail and that scares the shit out of me bc what the FUCK am i gonna do then #that shit would be so embarrassing like that will just confirm what i already know that im a dumbass piece of shit loser 😭 #like i lowkey broke down a few hours ago bc i genuinely think im just plain fucking stupid! like Not Smart like fucking can barely read #like one question will take me like two minutes bc i have to read that shit two or three times to process whatever the fuck its saying #thats so fucking embarrassing i feel like a fucking failure lmao #and the thing is im trying my best im just dumb as a brick fr #like how tf u study over five hours a day and still on some 56% bullshit 😭 #and everyone is saying im gonna pass bc i study so much but!! i get almost half the questions WRONG that is NOT a good sign #no but fr if i fail idk whats gonna happen i dont think i'll get kicked out but i know everyone's gonna be mad at me #and im gonna be in a dark place for a while and i'll have no one to blame but myself #just like the last time i failed at something #ignore me #i just needed to vent

[k0kichiimagines]

one of my biggest fucking pet peeves is when people are fucking yelling and being loud for no reason at night, especially when its the people that dont have to get up early and will "aww lol why r you so tried youre so grumpy" bro just stfu idc if you want to stay up why r you dragging everyone else with you you get to sleep in till one in the afternoon im waking at four you've been talking for hours already just talk quietly its not hard i will literally pay you 🥲

#(aww im not even that loud hehe) you fucking are 😐 #i often rlly struggle to sleep and i admit i am a fucking bitch when im tired it makes me so angry #and they literally never listen either #(just ignore it then 🤨) youre screaming down my ear bro how just stfu its like three am or do it elsewhere you have a whole place to #or when you sleep and then they start and wake you #its literally been every night for weeks im tired my stage after being angry is just sobbing #i can stay up forty hours no problem but thats not the same as being prevented #cannot wait to live alone ugh #i dont get it because im never loud when people r sleeping / trying to sleep its just rude 😐 #this is so petty i truly dont care i havent slept in weeks because of this nonsense i had a bad day and i have to be up early let me sleep #going insane #i get like two hours of sleep because of this im just going to start sleeping downstairs i literally dc #ugh but then on the nights i dont have to wake early my brothers will harass me #always the men that feel entitled to do this 😐

[wavestrings]

god i can't wait for this year to just end

#I know i shouldnt overshare here but yesterday i discovered that one of my professors (one that i actually liked) died like two days after #i last saw him in class. he was fine and it was so sudded im still shocked and upset #i feel like i got threw back to January and while a day has not passed in which i havent thought about my friends #i was carefully stitching that wound but now it feels like it has been viciously torned open without my consent #needless to say i slept like shit and my housemate woke me up with her messy and loud behavior #im just really tired and i dont know how to react. its so strange #sudden**

[mrfoox]

I still feel like dying but otherwise I'm fine

#miranda talking shit #I slept 14 hours ajsjfjsjwjenjfisnss now its 8pm soon again and i already starting to feel tired and ready to sleep #Just dont want to deal with this fucking cough. The coughing is fine but the fact it hurts like shit yeah no... My thorat just feels raw #And obviously hurts to swallow to which you do a lot of as a human :') nothing helps for it been drinking tea all day and tabblets for #Throat pains but yeah it only works for a few seconds as im taking it and then as soon as theyre gone im back to the usual #Cant speak more than two words without going into a coughing fit. Havent been able to talk with my cats today bc of it #Bad times i hate it here /: guess i should be happy its not covid that would probably be worse but goddamn this aint good

[cyberrose2001]

Hi hi! Your op drawings are so good?? My bby aaa drawing him (bots in gen) is so tough, I get too caught up in the details TT

Anyway, since I miss him lol I was wondering if I could request some... uh, gosh I hate this word but idk anything synonymous. Could I request pussydrunk tfp op?

Hope you're having a nice day/night btw <3

- 🍄

TFP pussydrunk!Optimus x reader

Hi hello!!I am very proud of this and it's probably up there with my list of my favourite fics I have ever written. Thank you so much for requesting and liking my silly sketches of the blorbo. I've written this as gender neutral <3

(lowkey ive been writing heaps of OP eating pussy,,, its a canon event for me i cannot intervene..... anyway its 11AM and i havent slept yet but i needed to finish hggggh *dies of horny*)

Warnings: Oral sex (reader receiving), edging, reader has a vagina.

Word count: 657

18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI

Spending time alone with you has learned to be one of Optimus' most treasured past times. But as much as it pains him, relaxing with you is a rare treat. The usual business of the base either keeps him up all night, or he genuinely has no time. However, he tries his best to make the most of it, whether he's relaxing with you, cuddling you, or with his head glued between your inner thighs. 

Like right now. It was nearing two AM. Optimus has you sprawled out on your shared berth, his face pressed against your aching heat, finally finding sweet relief from his built-up arousal. It's been too fragging long since his face was buried in you. He misses it, and if Optimus had a choice, he would sacrifice everything he's worked for to keep you bare before him.

Two hours. Optimus had been lazily lapping at you for two hours now. At one point, his helm had lulled to the side to rest against your right inner thigh to not strain his neck. His glossa grows tired, and his energon roars through his hot frame.

His stamina is almost depleted compared to when he initially delved into your drenched pussy. Despite this, Optimus still has the capacity to tightly grip your hips, gently massaging them as you lie still for him. He is weary, yet he perseveres, ignoring his aching joints and pulsing spike painfully pressed against the berth because tonight is about you. He will make up for all those lonely nights you've spent in berth alone in one lengthy oral session.

It's very often that when Optimus gives you oral, his mind feels like he's been transported to a higher plane of existence, one where he has no responsibilities or obligations to lead a team, just the mind-numbing taste of you. It makes him dizzy and light-headed, similar to the buzz he gets when he has a high grade or two, but Optimus prefers revelling in you instead to get his high. 

As ever patient as you are with your star-crossed lover, your hips still gently roll and shudder involuntarily against his glossa, and Optimus fucking loves it. He loves your soft cries when he sucks on your clit, and he loves when you clamp your legs around his helm when your orgasm is merely within reach. But he won't let you finish just yet, not when he's yet to relish and thoroughly drown himself in your sticky sweet.  

His warm optics remain lazily trained on your face, only fluttering close when you squeeze his helm. The pressure from your thighs only heightens his hunger, a carnal desire to swallow every drop of your aphrodisiac juices. 

"Mmmmm," You mewl, sweaty palms digging into the berth, "Fuck, I missed this… why don't we do this - aah - more often, baby…."

Optimus doesn't respond, and he can't because his processor is so intoxicated and aroused that he can't even form a single coherent sentence. It's quite ironic, he thinks. A mech of his nature that is so poised and articulate in his vocable is conned by his own desperate need to surrender his intake to his humans' essence.

"Mmmffh," He purrs into your heat, parting your sensitive lips with his glossa, lazily swirling around your bud before pressing a gentle kiss against it. He can't help but grind his spike into the berth below at your whimpers, servos kneading into your soft flesh, "More… Primus, I need more…."

You titter breathlessly, snaking a hand to the top of his helm to lightly press his face further into your pulsing heat, and Optimus delightfully grunts. You shiver, biting back a moan at the vibrations, "Go ahead, hun, you've got me for the rest of the night."

Optimus may need to blow a hole into the sun to prevent it from rising, since one night will never be enough to satisfy his thirst for you.

#transformers #transformers prime #transformers x reader #tfp optimus #tfp x reader #tfp optimus x reader #tfp optimus prime x reader #tfp x reader smut #valveplug #smut #cyberrosewrites

[rikiislvr]

🤎i’ll wait for you : nishimura riki

pairing : niki x afab!reader

warnings : kissing

summary: you & niki havent been able to have any quality time due to both of your busy schedules :( so you reassure him that its not his fault due to his overthinking

you finally finished your last assignment, with a long huff you close your laptop and stretch out your arms, you were so stressed from so much work you’ve been having lately.

you knew you had to wash up, but you were way too tired to even do anything for now, so you immediately got in bed and told yourself you would shower after 20 mins of relaxing, but then you heard your apartment door open, signaling your boyfriend was home from practice, you wanted to greet him but you were too tired too get out of bed.

soft footsteps made their way to your bedroom as the door opened, revealing your sleepy boyfriend, he smiled softly at you as you returned the same smile, he set his back down on the ground beside the door, and removed his green jacket, dragging his feet over to you, he practically fell right on top of you, resting his head on your chest as he wrapped his long arms around your waist letting out a loud sigh.

you two have been really busy with different schedules. niki has been practicing with their latest comeback, and you? you’ve been busy doing college work, your schedules never really lined up until night time, which you two slept anyways so it felt like you guys were distancing a lot lately.

he lifted his head slowly as you wrapped your arms around him as well, resting on his chin as the two of your admired each others faces. “how was your day love?” he says softly, “tiring. you?” you ask, he nods and lays his head back down, basically saying the same.

you ran your fingers through his fluffy hair, as he placed soft kisses on your neck, “should we wash up ki?” you whisper, but you got no response, he just kept kissing your neck which was soothing you to sleep, so you just decided to relax your eyes for a second.

“we can worry about it tomorrow. you’re too comfortable.” he chuckled softly as you felt his breath on your neck, he lifted the cover and put it over your bodies, as the warmth suddenly took over the both of you. “i’m sorry.” niki mumbled, which kind of confused you-

“sorry for what ki?” you tilt your head, he sighed and lifted himself up, sitting in front of you, you sat up against the backboard watching his facial expressions, waiting for his response on why he apologized out of the blue.

he sighed and fidgeted with his ring, “i’m sorry for-“ he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to find the least cringiest way to say this. “i’m sorry for never being home anymore.” he bit his lip and looked up at you, you stared at him with sadness in your eyes,

“ki..” you leaned towards him, grabbing both of his hands, “it’s not your fault love- you’re busy, i’m busy. it’ll happen, but i promise we will have quality time with each other sooner or later.” you smiled softly, he stared into your eyes with so much love.

niki never showed this side. not even to his members, not even to his fans.

only you made him feel this way.

“are you sure?” he raised a eyebrow, “i’m positive. no matter how busy we are- i’ll wait for you.” you nod your head softly and his face relaxes, his eyes softened as he pulled you into his embrace by holding your face so gently, pressing his lips against yours softly, you both pulled away and smiled at each other. you loved this boy more than he knew.

he then pulled you onto his chest as he laid down caressing your hair, “god- i love you y/n.” he sighed.

“i love you more ki.”

#enhypen #niki enhypen #nishimura riki #riki nishimura x reader #nishimura riki fluff #enhypen fluff #niki x reader #mae’s works —!

[alittleemo]

abt to sleep like a a baby knowing i have not prepared for either of my ap tests this week <33 

#yes i slept fabulously in that hotel last night bc i passed out within five mins but i am so so glad to be in my own bed now #im fucking zoinked and also everything hurts bc my sport is painful and i get bruises from it :(( #we also shit the bed and got last but it was super fun and we get to travel again two weeks from now so im pumped for that #omg i missed you guys i feel like i havent been online in ages its prob been like two days but still #ily all #lee’s bullshit