#i feel like i might actually be transmasculine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transmascissues · 1 year

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it really rubs me the wrong way when people say things about how cis women should just date trans men because they see us as a safer alternative to cis men. because the thing is, cis women being with trans men instead of cis men doesn’t eliminate the unsafe power dynamic the way they often act like it does;

the dynamic is just flipped.

generally speaking, a trans man isn’t any safer in a relationship with a cis woman than that cis woman would be in a relationship with a cis man. it just feels like a safer dynamic if you’re the cis woman because suddenly you’ve become the one with the privilege, and if you’re not used to being the one with privilege in a relationship you might not even think to ask how safe the other person is.

the reality is, the reason that relationship feels safer to you is the same reason it’s not safe for us — we’re safer for you because we don’t have the same privilege as a cis man, and we also don’t have the same privilege as you. when you date us because we’re safer, you’re dating us because we have less power.

that’s not to say cis women should never date trans men, or that it’s bad to seek out trans men if you don’t feel safe in relationships with cis men. but you have to recognize the power dynamic you’re opting into — you have to realize that you’re not going into a relationship that’s safer overall, you’re just going into one that’s safer for you. you have to be prepared for the person you’re interested in to have all the same fears and reservations about you that you had about cis men.

and most importantly, you have to actually put the work into being a safe person; you have to put effort into unlearning transphobia overall, especially into unlearning anti-transmasculinity, and you have to do it before you start seeking out trans men.

i’m very familiar at this point in my life with how unsafe relationships with cis women can be for trans men, romantic or otherwise, and i know most other trans men have probably had similar experiences to mine. we know very well that you might not be safe; we need you to know that, and we need you to care enough about us to make yourself safe.

us being “safer” for you isn’t just a nice benefit for you, it’s a direct result of the fact that we are oppressed and that you hold power over us. if you’re going to seek us out for your safety, know what that really means.

#like ‘the only difference is that they get it’ no?? theres a much bigger one than that???? dear god #‘its like suggesting a dog that doesnt shed to someone who doesnt want dog hair around the house!’ we’re literally people???#once youve started comparing actual humans to dog breeds you know you need to take a step back bc youre probably fucking someone over #yes those are both things i saw in an actual post #idk if the person who said it was a trans guy #but even if they were???? yikes. speak for yourself not the rest of us #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #trans men #transmascs

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pocketsizedquasar · 4 months

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TPOC-Prioritized writings on anti-transmasculinity / transandrophobia

transandrophobia / anti-transmasculinity are both theories that have been spearheaded primarily by trans poc, particularly Black transmascs and transfemmes.

unfortunately, as with Everything created by queer and trans poc, particularly Black queer ppl, white trans ppl (regardless of gender, and regardless of whether they "believe" in this form of oppression or not) have coopted these theories and dominated these conversations, such that both "sides" of the "discourse" are divorced entirely from the racial connotations in which these theories were created, and the ways in which they were created specifically as an intervention against white feminism, and to highlight the ways multiple marginalizations affect the marginalization of masculinity. these are theories that explicitly interact with and can only be understood in conjunction with transmisogyny, as well as other oppressions like racism and misogynoir.

*"anti-transmasculinity" as a term and theory was coined by Black trans folks (some of whom's writings are linked below), and is specifically a theory within the context of Black transfeminism antiBlackness, and transmisogynoir, and cannot be divorced from that context. i try be very intentional about my use of the terms 'anti-transmasculinity' and 'transandrophobia' in different places here, because i do not want to dilute the former’s very particular context.

anyway, here's a list of miscellaneous writings on the subjects, with a priority for collecting writing from trans poc (not all of the authors are tpoc, but this list was intended to prioritize tpoc voices). the intention of this is not to be a be-all end-all on the subject, nor exalt any one of these individuals or pieces as exclusively ~correct~ or whatever, but to combat the whitewashed nature of these discussions online, and raise awareness to the myriad of people speaking on this subject. (nor do i claim to speak for any of them, or claim that any of them speak for me. i tried to make sure i didn't platform blatant racists, zionists, transmisogynists, or other bigots, but i'm not pretending to be 100% accurate about that.)

they aren't in any particular order (except the first one, which i think is an extremely foundational text for anti-transmasculinity theory as delineated by its creators, within the context of antiblackness and transmisogyny, and necessary reading to understand anti-transmasculinity as a theory). I tried to group all the links from the same authors together.

This is a non-exhaustive list! I will likely come back and add more writings as I find them. please feel free to recommend to me any works to include (including your own! especially if you yourself are a Black trans person or a trans POC).

Now with an Archived Read-more Link!

Racial-Class Paternalism and the Trojan Horse of Anti-transmasculinity by Nsámbu Za Suékama. if you read nothing else from this list, read this.

“But even as TME struggles escape the mainstream imagination, they persist, and are often both fueling and being fueled by the war on trans women and transfeminine people. Nothing makes this clearer than in how a Western binary system triangulates that war with Anti-transmasculinity. This is why I say that Anti-transmasculinity is a Trojan horse for Transmisogyny. Like the wooden horse in the Greek myth, it might not seem like what it is, for its actual contents and character are invisible, but at the heart of it, there is a violent campaign going on that is key to how the West aims to lay seige to its civilizational "enemies." And, like the walls of the city of Troy, materialist transfeminism has fortified the opposition to Western domination, in such a way that to overcome the stronghold requires a new strategy for the Man, one that follows up the open and vicious attacks on TMA people with a different, more hidden form of warfare.”

“today’s gender paternalism frames any manhood and masculine embodiment outside of (western) cisheteronormativity as not just biologically illegitimate but also the result of a barbaric threat to civilization. And who typically figures as the face of that barbarism but the Black trans woman? Materialist transfeminism has to theorize Anti-transmasculinity.”

"Non-Men", maGes, and Black Masculinities by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

One such argument, which is really a collection of arguments but can be consolidated into one, is that trans men are attempting to take a place alongside cis men in the hierarchy of patriarchy. In other words, while they may not have been so before naming themselves as trans men, they are aspiring to be oppressors. This employs a number of rhetorical devices that I have identified before including the idea that trans men are “betraying” cis womanhood and therefore should be seen as threats unless they act as footsoldiers for transmisogyny. The problem with this is that it treats trans manhoods as embodiments that exist as something which merely aspires to be cis manhood.

"For Those Seeking Fight or Flight: Black Trans*feminist Nihilism" / primer on transmisogynoir by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman (not about anti-transmaculinity specifically (though it does come up), but a very good + important read on Black transfeminism & transmisogynoir, so I'm including it)

anti-transmasculinity needs its own theorizing outside of general "transphobia" by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

anti-transmasculinity & antiblackness inherently linked (& another) both by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

There is a hidden epidemic of violence against transmasculine people by Orion Rodriguez

a thread master post linking to multiple threads about anti transmasculinity by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

a thread on anti-transmasculinity as an epistemic injustice (translated) originally by magicspeedwagon in French; English translation by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

Not transmasc invisibility, but erasure by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

Girlboy Boygirl Blues - antitransmasculinity as a denial of individual history & more by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

"irl we just kiss" - ‘transmasc vs transfem’ discourse & reactionary ‘boys vs girls’ politics in trans spaces by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

transmascs & being treated as predatory by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

transmasc mental health statistics by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

violent anti-transmasculine hate crimes by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

thread on examples of systemic anti-transmasculinity by magicspeedwagon

a thread on anti-transmasculinity and its erasure by storyjunkie

anti transmasculinity & transmisogyny and the degendering of Black people by afrodykee

anti transmasculinity & transmisogyny cannot be theorized in opposition to each other by afrodykee

white transfeminism's anti-transmasculinity by afrodykee

Black trans people & erasure of TPOC voices from the trans community by thatspookyagent

transmasculine nonwhite expereince by thatspookyagent

trans men being silenced by thatspookyagent

queer POC being pushed out of conversations by thatspookyagent

cis women's harm to trans men by novascotioducktoller w/ addition about TMOC by thatspookyagent

medical violence in anti transmasculinity by Caleb / sethpuertoluna

example of medical anti transmasculinity by Dominick / transguyenergy

response to inclusion of a trans man in an ad (thread) by Dominick / transguyenergy

anti-transmasculinity around periods by Dominick / transguyenergy

anti-transmasculinity towards pregnant trans men by Dominick / transguyenergy

transitioning as a transmasc of color by gendercriminals

white (cis) women & racist transandrophobia by dead-lavender-society

transandrophobia as an indigenous trans man by petrichorvoices

examples of transandrophobia by transvermin

the “lost lesbian” narrative & antitransmasculinity by vaguefiend

cis women & transandrophobia by vaguefiend

intersectionality & transandrophobia by visible-schizo-spectrum

more transandrophobia from cis women by cock-holliday

tl;dr : there’s LOTS of theory and discussions out there abt anti-transmasculinity, transandrophobia, how these things relate to other forms of transphobia, how it interacts with other marginalizations, most especially race, and the ways in which it affects transmascs. this information is everywhere. it’s out there. y’all (white ppl) are just refusing to engage with it.

#trans #lgbtq #queer #transphobia #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmisogyny #racism #long post #quasartalks #been compliling this for ages but i think it's finally at a point where i feel comfortable posting it #like i said though it is very much subject to change! i would love to add more things to this #it is extremely shitty that discussions on antitransmasculinity and transandrophobia have been dominated on here by racist yt ppl and their #token trans poc that they so clearly are just using as a shield against when ppl call them out on aforementioned racism.#anyway. dont bother clowning on this post i will just block <3 #so much of this 'discourse' boils down to: transmascs and trans men (esp transmascs of color) saying: 'hey i experience this thing'#and other ppl (esp white ppl!) going 'no you don't.' it's so blatant lmao #it's just the complete denial of our Authority to talk about our own experiences. we are not trusted to be authorities on our own lives.#which. where have i heard that before. smells like racism. smells like misogyny.#also bc ppl can't read: none of this means transmascs have it worse than transfemmes; that transfemmes oppress transmascs; or that these #-experiences ONLY happen to transmascs. those are all extremely bad faith readings of these discussions.#AND ALSO to the (especially white) transmascs who also can't read and take these discussions as excuses to be racist & transmisogynist:#we cannot combat transandrophobia & anti transmasculinity without combating transmisogyny. they are linked.#anyway. good night

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genderkoolaid · 10 months

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It's so frustrating to see people purposefully misunderstand transandrophobia/transmisandry and then very confidently talk disparagingly about the people who talk about their experiences of it and then blatantly ignore everyone going "hey yeah no that's not what that means"

Like. Devon price trying to frame it like people who talk about transandrophobia are doing so firstly because they're just ignorant misogynistic babies who want to be oppressed so bad and also to try and drive a wedge between transmascs and transfemmes is so fucking disingenuous I don't even know where to start.

We're literally just trying to talk about the experiences transmasculine people have and the institutional problems specific to us? Why is this such a fucking problem?

Its painfully obvious that the people who make these posts do not ever actually engage with the discussion of anti-transmasculinity & the wider transunitist-feminist theories. Its embarassingly obvious in this case because Devon tried to make this sick gotcha, by bringing up one of the most common topics of conversation in our spaces.

And then there's the whole "TMRAs don't realize most of what they deal with is misogyny!" take, which I've seen in other places as well. Which imo comes from the idea that people who discuss transmisandry are literally just the trans version of MRAs. & the MRA idea of "misandry" is just a reversal of their idea of feminist theory- so they use it to describe "actually society is based around women's needs and desires and it targets (cis) men and we actually live in a matriarchy!" While the transunitist concept of misandry/antimasculism is "patriarchal beliefs about men/masculinity & the roles they are expected to fulfill, used both generally to reinforce patriarcharal control and specifically to target marginalized men/perceived-masculine people." I coined antimasculism specifically to provide an alternate to misandry for those who are uncomfortable with it because of the MRA associations.

& like. whether or not you agree that these are useful words, its obvious that the transunitist idea of misandry/antimasculism is very different to the MRA one. But to know that you'd have to actually, like, read the things we write & take seriously to our theories on the patriarchy. And not just trust Tumblr Callout For Evil Trans People #3245853723 that said we don't think misogyny exists.

Also tbh I think a bigger part of this issue (transmascs who are anti-transunitist) is that its a symptom of anti-transmasculine erasure. If you don't personally experience, assault, demonization, or accusations of being a predator for being a trans man, and no one you know has either, then... you certainly aren't gonna hear about those issues from wider society. And even if you have, you might not recognize what happened as anti-transmasculine, or tell yourself it must be only a fraction of what trans women go through. & again, they don't fucking read anything we post. That's why I feel like its so important to point out & remember incidents of anti-transmasculinity (like what I do w the AoVaTP). Because its so easy to buy the "people don't violate trans men the same way" until you've read about (tw for somewhat graphic anti-transmasculine violence)

trans men getting their faces cut off, beaten with a chain, thrown out of men and women's bathrooms, hit over the head with a cooler, having their shelter at a refugee camp firebombed, having hot coffee poured in their eyes while being called a "he-she", institutionalized & tortured for not showing "proper gender behaviors" as a child, having their family burn their documents to keep them from getting a job, forced to jump from a 2nd-story window and left to die, being harassed by Fox News for being a "groomer" until their school got bomb threats, held captive and tortured for two years, found dead with their genitals stabbed, assaulted by a police officer for "lesbian activity", called "tranny" a lot, and so many rapes and so many suicides, and this is just some of the shit that I have collected for that archive.

But yeah. We're just whining about silly representation nonsense.

#sorry for bringing up all the awful shit but like. sometimes i just wanna grab these peoples faces #and be like WHILE YOU NITPICK LANGUAGE THE PATRIARCHY DOESNT STOP KILLING US #i try to pretty regularly search for news articles about trans men to keep up w anything new #and ive done a fair bit of research to find stories that NEVER!!!!! get brought up by other queer activists #wheres yalls fucking support for zahair martinez. for chriton atuhwera. for ky peterson. for ebeng mayor.#if you are an activist then put the effort in #m.#ask box #examples of transandrophobia #rape tw #suicide tw

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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AITA because I accidentally "liked" an acquaintance/friend of a friend on a dating app? And now I don't want to talk to him anymore based on the way he reacted?

(Sorry if this is overly complicated)

I (29M) had only met this guy (36M) - I'll call him Ben - once or twice. He's like a family friend of my best friend. He had just moved to the area and was struggling with his mental health, apparently. My friend's mom asked us to "treat him like family" which I had no problem with, because it seemed like we got along well. I was hoping we could become friends. Obviously nothing more because I barely knew him.

Next time I saw Ben, he was not as friendly as before. I thought he might have been ignoring me on purpose, but I often misinterpret things like that (I am autistic), so I put it out of my mind.

Then saw him a week or two later at a party. Sat next to him at a table, said hi and asked how he was doing, etc. He didn't even look at me. Gave me a very cold one-word answer and immediately got up and went to the other side of the room. Spent the whole party at least 20ft away from me, but seemed friendly enough with other people.

Afterwards I told my friend I felt like Ben didn't like me, and asked if he noticed me doing or saying anything offensive, and he had no idea, so again I just let it go. But a couple weeks later, Friend's Mom told him that there IS a reason for that behavior, and that's because I liked his profile on a dating app and "he doesn't feel the same way at all because he's gay and likes men".

This upset me for a lot of reasons - first off I am transmasculine and do consider myself a man even if it's a little complicated - but mainly because I didn't remember seeing him on any dating app. I also thought it was overkill to act that way towards someone just because they might be interested in you? If I thought someone wanted to date me, but didn't feel the same, I don't think I'd be mad at them?? I feel like his reaction was a little childish and dramatic.

Possible asshole behavior from me: on dating apps I tend to like every profile that isn't objectively terrible. Because I'm bad at judging how much I'll like a person based on a few pictures and a short bio. Sometimes I don't really pay attention and like every single one of them and unmatch the ones I decide I don't vibe with after a closer look (or messages exchanged). That's...probably why I don't remember. I was barely paying attention.

My friend told me he thinks it's an asshole move to like everyone before closely reading bios and thinking it through, and I guess I see his point. But on the other hand I feel like Ben was disproportionately rude - like I can't help but be slightly offended it's that terrible to imagine I might be interested. (And I am not btw. I never have been.)

I didn't have his number so I asked my friend to let him know I'm not actually interested & must have accidentally swiped. I'm told he apologized and said he was "going through stuff" but we never talked directly and I haven't seen him since. So it feels very much unresolved to me.

I told Friend's Mom I will not be attempting to befriend him anymore - I'll be civil of course, but I'm keeping more of a distance. Apparently she was upset by this, and originally didn't tell me OR my friend why he was acting like that towards me - because she thought I might not want to talk to him anymore, and she didn't want "friction".

I guess what I'm asking is AITA for 1) not paying close enough attention on dating apps, and/or 2) not letting it go & pretending nothing happened after I was told he apologized - therefore causing "friction" between everyone?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 4 months

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you're trans, right? how did you come out to your parents? how did it go? how would you recommend someone go about doing it if they aren't sure how their parents are going to react? (positive to other people's kids being trans, dislike trans women in sports, generally vote democratic). i'm ftm.

sorry if this is too personal or already been answered or something

-- aar

Lee says:

As a matter of fact, I am indeed trans! I specifically identify as genderqueer, non-binary, transmasculine, transgender, and transsexual, although that's neither here nor there.

I actually didn't come out to my parents-- I came out to my friends, and then more publicly to my classmates at school. Then one of my classmates told her parents about me being trans, and that parent met my parents at a party and mentioned that I was trans. Unfortunately it just so happened that while they were at the party and out of the house, I took the opportunity to cut my hair short at home. Yikes!

Anyway, I would fully recommend actually coming out over being outed, if you have the choice, because then you have some control over the start of the conversation and can initially let them know whatever you want them to know.

As always, safety comes first. Do not come out if you do not think you will be safe. If there's any risk of harm or severe negative consequences, you should wait to come out until you're in a more secure position, like being 18 or older, financially independent, not living at home, or at the very least, having a support system in place like a trusted therapist who can help you deal with the repercussions of coming out.

There's a difference between being genuinely unsafe and feeling uncomfortable. Most people will feel their fight-or-flight anxiety response kick in when they have a really scary and stressful conversation, especially when they're talking with someone who means a lot to them and has a lot of authority in their life. But being anxious about their reaction might make something feel unsafe, emotionally, even if you logically know that you are safe and they will not kick you out, abuse you, etc.

That doesn't mean that your feelings aren't real feelings though. If you think that you would not be able to cope if your parents don't immediately and fully accept and support you, then maybe it isn't the right time to come out either. Your emotional well being is important, and if you would be unsafe as a result of mental illness/extreme distress after coming out (if your parent's reaction isn't what you had hoped it would be) then you should consider that to be just as important as if you were physically in danger from an external source. After you've had some time and therapy and got re-stabilized then you can reconsider coming out.

Let's say that you've decided to proceed with coming out. The next step is to continue to gauge their attitudes. You've already observed some of their views. This can be a good starting point to understand how they might react. Remember, though, that parents' reactions to their own child can sometimes be different from their general opinions. So they might be fine with your trans friends, but not be fine with you being trans yourself.

You can't fully predict what will happen, but making sure you have a sense of what they currently think might help a little-- if the topic hasn't come up in over a year and you're working off of what you remember them saying far in the past, it's possible their views have changed by now.

But either way, you'll never really know what will happen after you come out, so if you want to do it, you just gotta go for it.

Now it's time to prepare. You may want to have resources ready for your parents, so looking to find those resources should be your next step. Are there local support groups for parents of trans kids and do you know of any peers whose parents have attended? They might have questions or misconceptions about being a trans man, so be ready to share some basic 101 information with them and don't assume they understand what it really means to be trans. Websites, books, or even contact information for a knowledgeable counselor can be helpful.

Think about what you want to say beforehand. What's the point of coming out? Do you want something to change, like having them call you a different name, use different pronouns, buy you different clothes? Do you want them to understand the nuances of your identity and know the right terms and words to use and what terms and words are offensive? Think about all of your goals, and then write down the key points you want to get down.

This is the time to consider your answers to the questions they might ask you, like "how long have you felt this way," "do you plan on medically transitioning," "what does this mean for your sexual orientation," etc. Even if you don't know all the answers yet and are still figuring yourself out, you want to have an idea of what you'll tell them, even if it's just "I don't know yet, I'm still figuring it out".

I'm personally not a fan of gimmicky/"cute" ways of coming out when you aren't sure whether your family will be accepting. So I would recommend just using a letter to initially come out if you're worried about getting overwhelmed or forgetting important details, and being prepared to follow that up by having a sit-down conversation.

Have a support system in place. This could be friends, other family members, teachers, counselors, or online communities who understand and support your identity. I always recommend scheduling an event with friends either for directly after you come out so you have an excuse to leave the conversation and go, or at least for the next day so you can decompress and discuss it with people who support you.

When you're as ready as you can be, choose the right moment. Find a time when your parents are likely to be calm and not preoccupied with other stressors (so not on their birthday, a major holiday, etc) and either leave the letter for them or ask them if they are available to have an important conversation.

This might not always be possible, but a peaceful environment can facilitate a better conversation. Choose a time and place where you feel safe and where you won't be interrupted. This could be at home during a quiet weekend afternoon, an evening after dinner, or during a walk together, depending on your family dynamics.

Finally, it's time to have the conversation. You should be clear and direct. Tell them "I'm transgender and that means I feel I am a man," or whatever language you feel comfortable with. Don't hint at it because they might not know what you're trying to tell them, just tell them exactly what you want to say.

It’s okay to admit if you don’t have all the answers yet. Transitioning is a journey, and it's fine to be figuring things out as you go.

But if that isn't the case for you, and you are sure, then you should be ready to stand up for yourself and tell them that. They might react positively, negatively, or be unsure, but their feelings are not your fault/your responsibility because you're living true to yourself. It's okay if they need time to process the information, but don't back down and let them railroad you into saying that you're not sure or didn't mean it if you are sure and do mean it.

Finally, be prepared for the long haul. Understand that your parents might need time to fully grasp and accept your identity. Patience can be challenging but is often necessary since it can take several months to years before they come around and truly support you. That means that one conversation is usually not enough. Be open to ongoing discussions and expect them to be sometimes awkward.

We have a coming out page with more info, although some of the links are old and broke (I promise I'll get to fixing it some day!)

Followers, any advice for anon?

#Lee says #coming out #ftm

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redtail-lol · 7 months

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Theyfab Flag!

Image ID: A 7 striped flag. Colors, in descending order, are: pink; salmon; light gold; white; light purple; violet; pink. End ID.

Theyfab is a slur/insult thrown at AFAB nonbinary people, especially feminine-presenting AFAB people. I am reclaiming it. This flag is for other people who reclaim it. The reclaimed theyfab stands for celebrating femininity when freed from girlhood, being connected to your AGAB, body, femininity, and/or she/her pronouns without that invalidating your identity, separating gender from presentation, transmasculinity and transneutrality, detaching oneself from girlhood, and acknowledging the transmisandry and the misogyny that AFAB trans people face. Not all theyfabs will relate to all of these, they're just possible experiences that might effect why someone would identify with theyfab as a term. It stands against reducing trans people to their AGABs, destroying the norms that trans people must be traditionally masculine, feminine, or androgynous to be valid, supports pronoun nonconformity and gender nonconformity especially when done by trans people.

Anyone who is AFAB and nonbinary and/or transmasc and/or uses they/them pronouns and/or neos can reclaim this term. Additionally, anyone who's been derogatorily called "theyfab" can use it, regardless of actual AGAB, identity, or pronouns. It's my belief that slurs can be reclaimed by the people they hurt and the people like the ones they hurt.

If you cannot reclaim theyfab, but you support what this reclamation stands for, support people who reclaim it, and wholeheartedly support transmascs, transneutrals, and AFAB trans people, you can use this tf ally flag!

Image ID: A diluted version of the theyfab flag with an ally symbol in the colors of the theyfab flag, not diluted

Why I reclaim theyfab:

I have not personally been called a theyfab, but I feel I am the person they'd want to mock the most. Of course, I hit the basics:

• AFAB

• Nonbinary

• They/them

But also, I am:

• Bigender, with my primary gender being hypergirl

• Feminine presenting

• Cisgender, fully identifying as cisgender, and sometimes cistrans but usually just cisgender

• Don't want to transition

• She/her

If I wasn't above working for transphobes I could have been their theyfab mascot. I want to reclaim theyfab because despite being feminine presenting, despite still using she/her pronouns and still describing myself as cisgender, and despite being a girl, I am aporagender. I am nonbinary. I am all of these things and me being a girl, a girly girl, doesn't invalidate my gender and just because I prefer she/her pronouns doesn't mean I don't wanna be called they/them quite a bit. I am not any less valid for how I present or for the rest of my identity than any other nonbinary people, even those who fully medically transition.

#theyfab #reclaimed #theyfab reclaimed #theyfab reclamation #afab #afab nonbinary #afab enby #afab trans #afab transneu #afab transmasc #transmasc #transneu #transneutral #they/them #transmisandry #transandrophobia #transandromisia

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things-about-cars-in-posts · 7 months

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show me a transmasculine car. but a little flamboyant with it.

Well, I pretty much literally asked for this.

So.

To me, a transmasculine car must be a car that underwent some sort of process -of transformation- that resulted in an aesthetic difference between before and after, right?

And that is very much a thing in cars. I mean, you don't even need to know about cars to know people transform them in all sorts of ways, right? But what I intend to talk about specifically here is front-end swaps - people smacking completely different front ends onto their cars to make them look a way they deem preferable - or sometimes just to save money over the original parts. Such is the story of the Sileighty (or sil80), which is a Nissan 180SX onto which drifters that fucked the front end put Nissan Silvia parts instead because they were cheaper and lighter. Before and after:

Now, potentially this may already satisfy your request, but let's keep going anyway: From the opposite swap -putting a 180SX front on the Nissan Silvia- nicknamed Onevia, before and after...

...was born an idea: see, some people thought what the Silvia really needed weren't the headlights from the 180SX, but the ones from a decade younger Honda Odyssey minivan. I don't know why they thought that but it turns out the custom bodykit they created around the concept proved them right.

Now, since as you might have gathered before the Silvia and 180SX front ends are interchangeable, this custom bodykit also bolts right up to the 180SX. Let's see the before and after on that...

Yeah, I feel like we're pretty close.

Although, for the sake of completion, I must add that Nissan also pulled this "different front end for different body styles" trick with the Skyline and its wagon version, the Stagea - and many Stagea owners felt the need to rectify that by installing the Skyline front end on their cars, resulting in the below before and after:

And now, on a completely unrelated note purely because it's pretty rare you get an excuse to bring this up, while some say the 90s Subaru Sambar Dias -also called... well, many other things, really- was the peak of personal transportation (it's me, I'm some), someone else at Subaru clearly thought it wasn't classic enough - hence the special Dias Classic edition (as featured in Love Hina!), which I'm sure was right up someone's alley.

I'm not that confident in my awareness of what I just went on about, so I would very much appreciate some feedback and, of course, reblogs to make the stupidest poll I've seen in quite some time get even bigger a sample size than it ever deserved.

Links in blue are posts of mine explaining the words in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

#lgbt cars #transmasculine #nissan s13 #nissan silvia #nissan 180sx #nissan sileighty #nissan onevia #nissan odyvia #nissan odyeighty #nissan stagea #nissan skyline #subaru sambar dias classic

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queermasculine · 1 year

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how to know if you're a straight trans man or a butch

i've always known very strongly that i wasn't a man, so i have no personal struggle from which to draw insight here, but when it comes down to it i think the best way to get to know yourself is to ask yourself what it is that you actually want. how do you want others to see you? how do you want to live?

do you want to live life as a straight trans man? if so, that's probably the right path for you. do you want to live life as a butch lesbian? then that's probably the right path for you. you've lived both lives and can't bear the thought of abandoning one for the other? sounds like you were meant to be both. you can be a butch trans guy if you want to— you wouldn't be the first. as uncomfortable as some people are with this fact, it nonetheless remains a reality; there have always been people who have made their homes and lives in the crossing where our identities intersect, and you can too, if that feels right to you.

it's been said before but i'll say it again.. when it comes to figuring yourself out, an infinitely more helpful question than "what am i really?" is "what do i want?" i said i've always known very strongly that i wasn't a man. this is how i know: i just don't want to be one. i don't want to be seen that way. there is some comfort in strangers assuming i'm a cis guy, sure (sometimes it feels safer that way, sometimes it's nice to be reminded that the masculinity i present to the world is real) but when i think of my closest loved ones, i don't want them to see me as a man. i want them to see me as a transmasculine butch, a genderqueer dyke, a lesbian. and that desire to be seen a certain way by those i hold dearest, that's what guides me in life and ultimately defines me.

"ok but... how do i know what i want?" that's a tougher one, i'll admit. just by living i guess. by meeting new people, by keeping an open mind, by trying new things and continuing to learn more about what it is you like and don't like. i was 20 when i'd finally lived enough to know what i wanted. it might take longer for you than that.

fortunately, you don't actually need to have any of this shit figured out to move forward. before i found my butch identity i spent years describing myself as "uhhh some sorta non-binary i guess" and none of my queer/trans friends minded the fact that i didn't have all the details down yet. they knew my chosen name and my pronouns and that was enough for them, and i didn't spend a whole lot of time worrying about it either. you don't need to force yourself to choose between labels right now if you're not ready. you can let the answers come to you.

in the meantime, just fill your life with things that make it worth living. you don't have to know for sure that you're a guy to get that binder or that packer or to go on testosterone, and you don't need to know for sure that you're a butch to hang out with dykes and to have lesbian sex and so on and so on...

just live the life you want to live. you can figure out what to call it later.

#also you don't need to present your full complexity to the world 100% of the time #you can just say you're a trans guy if that's easier for you. and then pull out the secret butch gender around those you know and trust #being a two-faced mothafucka is selfcare actually #mail

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gamblegun · 6 months

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People's response to the transandrophobia discussion has been so so hurtful. Like, these are trans men & nonbinary people who have differing opinions on intersectional feminism, and like... How toxic masculinity is societally perpetuated, than you. They want a word for the specific various gendered violences that make up transmasculine oppression. Why are people so quick to dehumanize us and demonize us? It's almost as if...hmmm...

And I get people being put off by the word "transmisandry", but I think it's obvious that it's supposed to be the masculine compliment of "transmisogyny" for trans women, and not trans men trying to prove the patriarchy doesn't exist or whatever. As for the other words, can't people maybe understand why a group of people who've been denied their masculinity, who've faced so much trauma in order to access their manhood, be opposed to the idea of a word stripped of all masculine connotation because it MIGHT imply MRA things? Be forced to accept a word by non transmascs because words by us are too dangerous and cannot be trusted? Where's the love and the grace? Every post I've seen criticizing it has just been arguing with what they think the "transandrophobia truthers" are talking about instead of rebutting the actual content of the discussion, or are just like, TE/RFs. It feels like a fucked up misunderstanding. But like, why are you attacking us like we're some sort of prolific hate group? Why do believe random posts about us over the voices of your trans brothers? And if you really are worried about some sort of male centered radicalization from the trans men of this community, how is this behavior going prevent that in any measure?

#transandrophobia #makes me sick lol #anti-transmasculinity #the way the community views us as basically just cis women or basically just cis men #and the vile amount of transphobia that has become so mainstream from this push back #it makes me never want to interact with the trans community again

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mattiepieofchaos · 2 months

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kinda serious post for once, idk how deep y'all wanna take this though.

I'm a little upset at the lack of representation that transmasc people have, and this isn't me hating on transfems, but I feel that they're a little overrepresented in trans media, at least from what I've seen.

Like, I'll be watching trans meme compilations and I'll be lucky if I even see anything on the transmasculine side of things.

I'm not sure if this is because of an actual imbalance in the number of transmasc and transfem people, but it might be. (I'll reblog this post with my thoughts and theories on that)

Idk, maybe this is just stupid thoughts from a random trans guy nb, but I'm really hoping to see more transmasc media.

#trans #queer #transmasc #trans rights #trans media #nonbinary #trans thoughts #transgender

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clown-college-honor-roll · 5 months

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Hey guys, I don't want to cause any sense of alarm but I want the TF2 transmasc community to be aware of this.

aprofessionalwithoutstandards, a popular(?) TF2 blogger, made a post with my acc's name and spoke about my bio DNI regarding people who deny transmasculine specific transphobia.

I did not consent to having my account name shared and have unfortunately already received some terfy anons.

For those who don't know, transmisandry or transandrophobia is the specific type of transphobia experienced by trans men/ trans masculine people. I had that in my bio because it is unfortunately common for people in our community to not believe transmascs experience hardship when it comes to being trans.

It was very strange to see someone who is a part of a fandom with a lot of trans men/ mascs to say something like this. I liked his content and I know a lot of us do too, I want others to be aware of how she feels about the fellow fans he interacts with.

I was hoping that he didn't actually understand what the word meant. I sent him a DM to try to explain and to set boundaries about sharing my account name.

I was really hoping it really was a misunderstanding and she might apologize for the name dropping... But he never responded and blocked me.

I know I'm not entitled to a response, but the anons keep coming.

I don't think it was a misunderstanding anymore. I don't want anybody else to have to find out the way I did.

So, transmasc-phobic behavior awareness post done?

If it was actually a mistake and they apologize, I'll delete this and apologize as well.

EDIT- I used the wrong pronouns by mistake, I believe the correct ones are (he/him) + (she/her). Sorry about that. I was also informed that he is transmasculine as well as being Bi-gender.

Trans people can also be transphobic. Just because you personally haven't experienced something doesn't mean it's not real.

#aprofessionalwithoutstandards #tf2 #tf2 community #transphobia #tf2 fandom #felixascends #felix txt.#team fortress 2 #tf2 blog #fandom blog #transphobia awareness #anon called me a “troon” tf does that mean #trans fortress 2 #tf2 trans #trans tf2 #ok to reblog #reposts welcome

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calebwittebane · 5 months

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maybe its not my place to point this out but what an odd cruel sentiment. on one hand i get where its coming from, that people like to project an idea thats more palatable to them onto the marginalized people theyre engaging with is very real. but. why bring height into it? i dont think real 4'11 trans men are for the most part happy about being 4'11, odd to frame it this way. why contrast "femboy twink" with "real person with real interests and a personality"? idk, ive seen that post around, sometimes shared by people who arent trans men, and it made me wanna say something cuz its just kind of cruel to invoke a real actual type of person as some empty depersonalized trope that you very much arent because youre a Real Person. its not like 4'11 feminine trans men are by comparison treated well, or seen as real nuanced people. it feels hateful to say that. i cant imagine that it felt good for a short, feminine trans man to read a statement like that. it might seem obvious, what im saying here, and yet. you know? kinda feels like those people asserting that theyre an autistic person who "fucks, has normal interests, has a job, and knows how to drive". on one hand i get it, especially the part about being denied bodily autonomy and sexual agency, but on the other hand, whats so embarrassing and terrible about being associated with those of whom that isnt true? since when is having a job or driving a car, like, virtues? rather than things that are by default expected of "functioning" people. what are normal interests? mind you im not comparing transmasculinity to autism, im just like, contrasting this with something else to illustrate my point. you get me?

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imaginedrago-ss · 14 days

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explain your brainworms

ok 1st a disclaimer that these thoughts come from feelings of dysphoria, & selfhate, & hatred of others ofcourse, & i often wish someone wld come & convince me of how wrong i am abt all tgis, & so on. anyway have some gender ideology anon

ahem so there r 2 types/"groups" of transmascs, the 1s who want 2b men & rhe 1s who want to be transfems. tge 2nd group is huge & they never shut tf up, & tgey love existing in their trans bodies in trans spaces, there r actually szo many of them taht tgey dictate the social norms in trans spaces. the 1st group is small & they r quiet/stealth yk tjey had no female friends growing up & tgey dont rlly fit in "trans spaces" at all and ok tbh i might b da only person in "group" 1. except no im not alr ik im not alone group 1 number 1 forever 💯. rlly tho, im not tjis enbyphobic idont actually think u can group all transmasc into 2 groups, right, there r many ppl who arent part either group. but group 2 (aka the transmascs who want 2b transfems) is very real ok weve all seen them, & they r haunted by the specters of the binary trans man and the binary trans woman. for example tgey hate that the binary trans man has "betrayed women", tgis is y group 2 ppl c themselves as separate from the binary trans men. rlly the only 'women' that theyre scared of betraying r other group 2 ppl, they keep each other in tgis vicious circle of repression its very sad 2 see. tgis is imo is y group 2 hates the binary trans woman as well, they r mad at her bc she can fully transition and still b accepted in their female-centered trans spaces. (in realitiy she usually isnt accepted there, & if she is shes treated like shit, those trans spaces actually only cater to group 2 ppl lol. also the nonbinary transfem is another specter haunting group 2 yk like i said they want 2b her, bc they think being a nonbinary transfem is the closest they can get to manhood). group 2 ppl r also very preoccupied w how the binary trans men want 2 invalidate them and exclude them from transmasculinity. in reality, group 2 ppl themselves think that they cant fully transition, & that binary trans men have never dealt w whatever provlems they face. & they think that the binary trans man thinks hes better than them. tahts not true tho yk anyone can become male alr stop caring abt the ghost of kalvin garrah, the real kalvin is now a gnc bisexual, he tried to teach his racist cellmate abt blm when he was in prison, and he listens to cavetown and lana.

now here is my message to u if ure in group 2. yes trans men can be inherently nonbinary, yes trans men can be better than the average cis man, yes trans men can be lesbians, yes trans men can be affected by the trauma of girlhood, yes trans men can be incapable of topping, but you (as in singular you right, u specifically), u dont have to. 💯 nothing wrong w being a boygirl genderfuck but jsyk u r capable of being a guy, u were, always capable of being a guy,

#the 1st sentence of tgis shld b printed at yhe start of tge communitist manifesto & of mein kampf & of evry textbook ever written ngl #anon

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mueritos · 1 year

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Hi Matteo,

I was wondering if pre-t you ever dealt with insecurity about wether people perceived you as your actual gender? Especially when dating? Recently I’ve been with this girl and I feel bad because I worry that she might just see me as a girl too. I tend to ID as a lesbian because I think it’s simpler but I’m also pretty openly transmasc and sometimes I feel like she just ignores that part? Do you have any advice about how I should bring it up?

Yea! This is completely normal. When I came out as transmasc, I suddenly had a lot of boys flirt with me/interested in me, but I found out very quickly they saw me as an entryway into homosexuality because while they saw me as a boy, they didn't see me as male enough.

I think the best way to approach whether your partner is ignoring a critical part of yourself is to simply ask if you could tell them your coming out story, and have them tell it back to you. If you find they are misconstruing your story, your language, or your experience, it may be necessary to address where that separation in understanding is. Trans people are not taught to advocate for themselves, so I understand this is extremely scary, but you must learn to do so in order to cultivate healthy and positive experiences for yourself. If not, you are essentially telling yourself that you deserve bare minimums, and that you deserve to not feel understood or seen.

It is important that your partner recognizes your transmasculinity, so simply ask them to speak about it. You will find out a lot about them through this. For example, I am my boyfriends first trans partner--first trans person ever. He had no idea what being trans really meant before knowing me, and because of this, he had always assumed me to be a cis male when he met me. When he found out, he approached myself and my body with curiosity, but it was ethical. He never once pushed me to explain myself or my body, and he made an effort to ask about language, mirror it, and to do research himself. When I ask him about my transness, he acknowledges it, and also understands it is not the only part of me. I correct him if needed, and he does not take this personally, and instead sees me correcting him as an opportunity to build further connection.

If your partner cannot see you correcting them/advocating for yourself as an opportunity for more connection, I would suggest rethinking the foundations of your relationship and moving forward from there. Conflict is not negative, but it can also reveal a lot of negative things that need to be worked on. Both partners have to be okay with working on these things for the relationship to work.

I wish you the best of luck my friend. Find community, seek out trans positive content, and remind yourself that you are wonderful.

#muertoresponds #trans stuff

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acradelius · 20 days

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Soldier with a transmasc s/o pls-

I need soldier comforting his partner over gender dysphoria and aggressively correcting people.

"I'll Make Sure That They Get It Right."

Fandom: Overwatch / Overwatch 2

Pairing: Soldier: 76 ("Jack Morrison") x Transmasc! Reader

Rating: Lime [🟢] - (Equivalent to PG-13)

Warnings/Mention Ofs: Transmasculine! Reader, Male Pronouns Used For Reader, Jack Isn't Necessarily Familiar With Transmasculinity - But He's Trying, Mentions Of Gender Dysphoria, Jack's Supportive Of Reader, Jack Accidentally Uses Wrong Pronouns, Jack Gets Agressive Whenever Correcting Others About Reader.

Word Count: 624 Words

Notes: Forgive me if any part of this, or even if all of it, happens to be incorrect or misinforming in any way, shape, or form. I'm not Trans myself, nor know of anyone who happens to be Trans, so I wrote this based on what I could find on the internet. Please let me know what I can do to correct it!

If you'd like to be tagged for all posts, certain fandom posts, or certain character posts then feel free to message me!

“Transmasculine?” Jack can't state that he's familiar with the exact word or its definition. He's definitely aware that there are other gender identities, gender expressions, or both, besides cisgender, but it's not exactly a topic that he keeps himself up-to-date with when it comes to the terminology and information. Ultimately, it takes (Y/N) sitting Jack down and explaining transmasculine for him to be able to wrap his mind around this new information. “It sounds quite.. simple.. to understand?” It still might take him some time to completely come to understand, as besides his partner explaining it to him Jack then takes it upon himself to do some more research on it, but he's trying! He's realizing that it's quite crucial that he's informed about this information, not only for the well-being of (Y/N), but for their success and well-being of their relationship as well.

While gender dysphoria is something else that’s also probably going to have to be explained to him, it’s definitely something that he could come up with ways to ease those thoughts that make (Y/N) upset at times, or even have days of being upset. Maybe trying on some of Jack’s clothes would help? Or even going and buying a wardrobe of clothes that would enhance (Y/N)’s masculine features? “Lookin’ handsome as always, love.” Are you needing assistance with chest binding perhaps? Don’t worry, Jack is definitely your guy. Well, it’ll probably take him a couple of times of hands-on experience before he manages to get the hang of it. “Which one would you prefer this time? Would you prefer the kinetic tape? Or just the actual binder?” He’s also on top of consistently asking if (Y/N)’s comfortable and if there’s any health concerns from using the binders. “Are you able to breathe well? Would you like me to tighten or loosen it? ..It’s not irritating your skin is it? If so, we could look into getting you some of this moisturizing cream that I typically use..” Jack would also be completely fine with (Y/N) using some of his products that have that masculine fragrance if that makes him feel better as well.

There happens to be some times that Jack accidentally slips up and accidentally uses the wrong pronouns when it comes to talking to (Y/N) or even talking about (Y/N) to someone else. If it happens, he’ll apologize and correct himself, also making sure that (Y/N) is okay and explain that it wasn’t his intention to accidentally misgender or misidentify him. His voice will be soft and reassuring, making sure to bring (Y/N) into his arms and hold them close to him. Yet, if it was someone else that was someone else that ends up misgendering (Y/N).. If it happens to be someone that’s unaware that (Y/N) is transmasculine, then Jack would loudly clear his throat, tilting his head as he narrows his eyes through his visor, speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear. “If you’re NOT AWARE, (Y/N) typically goes by HE/HIM pronouns, but it’s best to ask just in case (Y/N) has decided differently for the time being.” Yet, if the person happens to be aware and is just being an asshole by purposely misgendering and misidentifying (Y/N), then expect Jack to get aggressive, He won’t hesitate to become physical, getting a tight grip upon their arms and roughly slamming them up against the wall, glaring intensely. “If you don’t quit your shit, I will make sure that as long as you’re amongst the ranks of Overwatch, I WILL make your life an absolute hell. Therefore, consider this your only warning to respect (Y/N)’s identity and pronouns.”

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #soldier 76 overwatch #overwatch soldier 76 #jack morrison #soldier 76 x reader #jack morrison x reader #x transmasc reader #x reader #requests?! thank you<3 #lime rating

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