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#i feel like i've been in survival mode since february
fragileizy · 1 year
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15 Questions / 15 People
this is late by [checks notes] literally 15 days. 17 days. oopsie doopsie i am so sorry. i got tagged by my beloved @valiantlyjollynightmare !!
1. Are you named after anyone? (irl): no, i don't think so! my parents couldn't decide between two variations of this name and they decided to meet in the middle and pick a third option. (internet): izy is my nickname i grew up with! of course, lots of people spell it izzy but i've always been adamant about keeping the one 'z' only. tashio is a reference to inuyasha; inuyasha's dad is 'inu no taisho' which is basically the dog king(/lord) and even as an eleven year old i knew. i KNEW. this was the man i WANTED. since i was eleven or whatever, i've been going by izy tashio online :)
2. What was the last time you cried? february 3rd 2023! since then i haven't cried :D
3. Do you have kids? not yet! but i can't wait. i want a family, and i've even picked out all the names i want and aaaahhhhh.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yes, definitely!
5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? that's a great question, i genuinely don't know. it's a person-by-person case, i don't think i always notice something first. maybe their height...?
6. What’s your eye color? brown/black! whatever!
7. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings! i hate bad endings and i avoid them like the plaaaague.
8. Any special talents? i can make a farting noise with my hands :3 (i genuinely can't think of anything but this is a true fact, so.)
9. Where were you born? i was born in brazil!! i've been back and forth from usa to brazil my entire life.
10. What are your hobbies? i love writing and drawing, though i think at this point my writing skill has surpassed my art skill. hand problems have made it difficult to hold pens and pencils, so there's definitely a biased towards writing instead of drawing.
11. Do you have a pet? unfortunately, no! i have plans of adopting two cats and owning a golden, though.
12. What sports do you play/have played? i used to play soccer for most of my life, but one year i missed the chance to sign up because of ADHD brain gave me executive dysfunction and i never picked it back up again. i feel like i would've been in a much different point in my life, had i stayed active with soccer.
13. How tall are you? 150cm! | 4'11" !
14. Favorite subject in school? math!
15. Dream job? unavailable question, i'm in survival mode at the moment! the job isn't the important part, but what i'm able to do with the money that it provides is all that matters. being able to come home after work and live comfortably; being able to travel and be able to work on my hobbies is all that matters to me in a job. no-obligation tagging: @writerriderdirtythirties | @leafweaverryn | @rosie-b | @littlemourningstar | @uchidachi | @keentrigger | @transiconlink | @furia-lepida | @miraculouslymundane | @apollo-zero-one | @asukiess | @purrfectlypunny | @feather-dancer | @creamikimi | @the-goddess-of-sleep | @midnightskydancer
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Ok 2022 wrap up. First the good:
* killed it at work and on schedule for a huge jump in salary in january 2023
* finally let go of the worst years of my life by *gasp* leaning in2 and committing to my present self???
*moved to a banging new apartment WITH kitchen island
*volunteered for midterm campaigns
*went to chicago, cincinnati, honolulu and st. louis
*READ like 80% more this year than last year (the bar was the like 2 books i picked at and didnt finish last year but still improvement)
*more consistent with skincare routine
*hit 50k in my one savings acct in accordance w financial goals
THE BAD:
*didnt learn a new language, instrument, to code, pottery, or anything. Was grinding at work and not much else
*health took a backseat: too much doordash no fitness plan or even much activity
*didnt make any new friends
*stagnated in other areas. No volunteering for causes i care abt or even at community garden. mUST CHANGE THIS IN 2023
*struggled to stay consistent with much of anything. Scatterbrained for most of the year
THE UGLY:
*lost all muscle tone due to nothing other than lack of care
*no motivation. No real direction. No real sense or vision of the future i want and am working towards. No effort in the places where it counted
*phone and screen addiction. BIG TIME. losing hrs to this that i should be using to get out there and meet ppl and actually improve my quality of life LOL.
*deep-seated suspicion that im not well-liked at work bore out late this year. Not super pleased since that's been my main focus. Probably connected to this other stuff.
*loss of basic intellectual curiosity. In complete survival mode for the first 8 months of the year. Self is almost unrecognizable in many ways.
THE RESOLUTIONS:
I've spent the month of december devoting myself to prepping for the big three resolutions that i feel will have the biggest impact on my immediate health and wellbeing. I did a recipe plan for every day of december and gave myself a zero doordash/restaurant rule but no other real restrictions on what recipes i make and that's gone super well in terms of re-integrating cooking regularly back into my life and even enjoying it! I think in february im going to start paying more attention to making sure im incorporating the plate method to ensure im getting the right proportion of protein veg and carbs into my diet but for now its all about finding recipes that taste good and that i can sustainably replicate etc. I've been doing a lot to make sure im brushing my teeth and doing my skincare routine at least every morning so im going to start bumping up my evening care in January as well. I also downloaded the none2run app to get me up to a 5k which at least lays out the calendar of what i need to do and im on week 2?? I think of the beginner exercises before starting the runs in earnest. I've deep cleaned my apartment and kitchen and have been regularly washing my clothes and doing the dishes instead of letting it all pile up. All of these changes in routine have been gradual over the last 5 weeks or so but its already paying dividends and i love the idea of prepping for resolutions and planning them out so i don't lose track as the year progresses:
*Journal at least once a week (minimum 52 entries by this time next year)
*Develop nourishing recipes you actually enjoy and can replicate. Limit restaurants to once a week (non-holiday) or 3 times a week (with holidays)
*complete none2run 5k.
*sign back up for barre classes at least once a week (non-travel)
*on work travel, complete youtube pilates vid at least twice a week
*this is the year to tackle skin texture and pores. Set up derm appt in January
*complete liftoff program for beginner weightlifting beginning in June.
*volunteer for minimum 2 hrs each week. For anything.
*volunteer for dems at least once this year.
*SEE A FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST
*take one extra-curricular class
*check in quarterly on goals
*take one international trip
2023: We are being specific and intentional!!!!!
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yoori-ya · 1 year
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Forty.
A new year means new resolutions, new habits.
Honestly, as I got older, I found the whole thing is a little hokey. Experience informed me that I am inherently bad at hitting new year goals, and things always end up falling apart by mid-February or so. The past few years I got by without making any resolutions, and I just reflected on the year that had come before. Part of it probably was that law school and the pandemic put me in "JUST SURVIVE" mode, and I didn't have the bandwidth to take on much else.
I spent 2022 trying to get my bearings after a shaky few years, but maybe I feel like I'm finally on some solid ground. For the first time in a while, I'm looking out at the new year and feeling pretty good. Law school, the bar, and the job search had consumed my life. Now, I have the leeway to sit, reflect, and be a little more intentional with the way I live.
Even better, I'm feeling inspired by the people around me. It's been awhile since I've felt like I have something to learn, since I've thought, "[__] is super dope. How does she do that? How can I do that?" Some of these are qualities that my friends have always had, but only now am I beginning to recognize them as strengths. I think at one point, I even thought them to be pointless, even weaknesses.
Potential is always exciting, and 2023 appears ripe with it. A few resolutions may not be such a bad idea.
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mermaidenisaacs · 3 years
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TW: s*icide and d*pression mention
had another mental breakdown today. sobbing on my bedroom floor, alternating between crying and hysterically laughing, like full on losing my mind. it was kind of good timing because i broke down right before i was supposed to talk to my therapist
i told my therapist about how much i want to unalive myself and the ideations i have and i feel like,,,,,,,,i maybe should not have told her. the concern in her voice was really alarming and so far i've just told my parents how i've been feeling and they were stunned, but they didn't sound as serious and freaked out as my therapist.
she said that all this suffering for this long of a time span is really not good. i guess it's kind of weird to hear a mental health professional confirm for you that you are indeed suffering. like it's not all in my head.
she told me to try medication. i have a lot of concerns about that and i probably will not go that route. idk what i'm gonna do. i'm supposed to see people tomorrow and idk if i'll have the mental real estate to handle socializing.
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https://seaworldentertainment.com/blog/coronavirus
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72 hour window, sea world you can do better.
Anxiety and stress cause people to introvert and a single email or especially a phone call can be impossible.
Mental health awareness should enable you to change that policy.
Plus just the panic some arise to the occasion - others shut down
I do both. In my personal life... I don't like canceling on others. And so sometimes I just don't show up without a call. Just blow it off.
I have severe issues at times where hiding is the best feeling for me to use to survive...
I recommend that all places that charge people to go to give automatic refunds or allow travel rearrangement for up to 5 years in the future but at least 3 years to reschedule.
Having only a short window of the rest of 2020 -- well i can tell you it's highly likely people will not be doing shit on their own for the rest of the year as far as having the freedom to make plans of where and when they will go
And if they do Then you have people from March to October that need to fulfill their travel obligations plus you have the humans that want to go as well.
So, you will actually overfill your facilities and you will cause a problem on quality you can provide and have over crowding which dimishes the quality of your services and the ability of guests to enjoy the experiences and hospitality you provide.
Thus then making people not want to make plans for the following year to your business...
So i recommend at least a 3 year window to reschedule. Maximum of 5.
This allows the promise you'll have guests willing to go for the next 5 years meaning that people will go And pay like at sea world pay extra for food and gift shop items. Thus providing an income.
Some places will feel the need to financially close. Like here we have a small amusement park in Albuquerque called Cliff's... Im sure they would be fine and not close because of the tight knit community and school field trips and etc. But if they had to there would be an ability to sell so the community can still enjoy. So ...
Places should seek the ability to sell to keep the community activities available. Or at minimum give a refund and also highly advertise as much as possible Your permanent end date so people can cram in and get their dollar worth
It seems that our time on the ocean will not exceed past 2020 and so in 2021 the world will be free.
And yet we cannot promise that. I won't. Because I don't know what will happen exactly for sure for sure. Until it's done.
So i feel comfortable saying everyone will be locked down for the remainder of 2020.
Will we be? We are working as diligently as possible. I am working with amnesia and so governments have a 3 year lock down achievement plan. Across the globe. The last two years remaining of the plan are intended to be free with extra caution.
We have many things at stake. Primarily abductions and alien issues. As well as diseases which aren't a primary concern because they are created then altered in a way most people are safe. Its an inner soul that can heal. Changes in the minds and soul. Medical care is for comfort only But can not heal.
Injuries on the other hand must require hospital care and we will work to get healers in as much as possible. Otherwise traditional stitches and surgery for now.
Just don't take it too harsh when a patient dies. Just do the best you can. Know you did the best and somethings are simply out of your control.
If you did the best you could don't second guess. Ask a tree If there is a better solution. But don't torture and beat yourself up about it. Just keep adding and retaining information to help you assist in the future.
I say that as for doctors but that goes for all our Humans, New and Old.
What we hope for is a repeat time of last year where its the end of October we begin release just like we did for the human traffic victims.
So if youre wondering and you need a time placement look to last year and say "this year we will spend like human traffic victims did And we will be let free the same time Sabrina found them last year. So the end of the year holidays"
Personally like Alex I don't like the lock down modes and you can tell by the way i have responded to that.
However i do deem it is necessary for human safety and will only work if it is adhered to the strictest of rules.
Not for the spread of Viruses as i have represented is not a concern to me -- But to prevent human trafficking. And to help people get off illegal drugs.
This last week 1.489 million people were kidnapped for the sole reason of human trafficking in factories. This does not include the 7.86million from planet Xion.
With 84 trillion people in the world it is a small percentage.
However it is still too many. 1 is too many. 3 people is excessive.
Rapes have gone down by 84% since DNA4U surfaced to availability. With Quarentine they have gone up by 2% because people are not using the required recommended Friends list.
Family list is genetic. It doesn't mean you can trust them it just means they share your blood line.
You must refer to the Friends list. It is searchable and filterable. So you can find a family blood line member you can trust to babysit that will not harm your child.
So you need to help us help you by standing your foot down. Call the police if you have to And say "Some one is attempting to repeatedly have access to me and/or my family and they are on my enemy list"
This will make you a priority. And you must show proof of this so the police know how to handle the situation as there sre guidelines. They can type in their computer the codes and cross data and have about 3 different solutions. Of course they will need to "target" "satellite roam" "alert zone" and see if there is stalking going on and what else all this person is doing for the entire time of Quarentine. A list will then appear of what is considered good and bad.
7 times the first week of Quarentine to stores -- pass
7 times in the 3rd week of Quarentine to shop -- fail
8 times to enemy only after researching DNA4U -- inquire -- then it states from the looks of it -- did they go around looking in Windows? Did they go knock? So it is dependent on the quality of the people involved. They are coded by color and letter.
So basically a person of lower quality looking in Windows will state -- inquire -- FAIL FAIL
A highest quality will state -- inquire -- PASS PASS.
Highest human quality will state ------ PASS
Then there's Pass which is an alert the person is an a state of depression. Meaning white gloves. Extra care.
pass means action will occur in the upcoming months or has already. No punishment.
pass/fail means you've done shit that you shouldn't had. But we will let it go.
Then you will get s police report of Tree Quality sent to your DNA4U.
The police will also get one to the satellite map system. SMS. Which they then transfer with their comments to their local police reporting system. If they choose.
So call and report,tresspassors and other things
We called yesterday for Alex and he didn't want to. But i wasnt there. His security is to guard. He ran in the house and they fired warning shots and went in. Thus stating inside the home Chris McGayHay would be killed because that was the claimant territory. And also it auto covers any place where there is lung/gill breathing life.
So had Chris went to where the animals were even am aquarium since he had already physically attacked, he would have been shot and killed immediately.
Instead i handled his sick brain and kept him on the ground by using my experiences. Until police arrived.
I've promised him for the last 20 years i would make sure he got my revenge on his lies and forceful actions upon me and others. Since he was a "child" of 8 years old. Sometimes pure evil is obvious.
He's had time to change and if he had gotten bygones would be bygones. But like other evil he's continued.
So i never told him the police were coming.
And a sideline to "drug dealers" i promised if you used my system you would not be arrested.
I did not promise users anything except they would get their drugs and changes would occur to weight and quantity that is not the dealers concern.
So I in essence protected the drug dealers but trre does over see.
I am head of the CIA and so they do work for me, i do allow them extra pay that would otherwise go to the CIA. "Taxes" so they are paid by the CIA. I got a very tight system.
They would be laid off/fired. Which means when told to quit because theyre stupid they have to quit and then tree handles and it could include arrest if they continue to sell large amounts or to more than 20 people a few grams.
That is people whom were paid by the CIA to handle transactions of illegal drugs. Only.
So 5 people were laid off and tree had in depth discussion in person and so 2 were reihired. 3 were killed. Worldwide.
Now if someone i just explained did what Chris did they would been killed instantly due to the responsibility they hold to be an upright citizen. They would not have been arrested.
Now if Alex was a delivery personnel and Chris was a pick up and you like Alex punched him 9 times in the face and fucked him up. You would get an apology and the customer would been killed and/or arrested. Also you would get free medical care.
Now the concern was I turned him in for the quantity of drugs he had on him. He worked (no longer so mechanics find another team because Chris WILL DIE that is a fact and a promise) for NHRA. ALL NHRA employees were Ordered to get their drug issues under control. Per NHRA WRITTEN and DISTRIBUTED guidelines he was 79% over the limit. So he had almost double what he was allowed to OWN. And he is only allowed to carry one day worth on his person. Unless he just did a pick up.
So it was up to 7 ounces he could carry in the beginning. Now it is 3.4 ounces hes allowed to carry. Any NHRA employee that was employed in February 2020 or hired since then.
It lowers every week. They have to check the schedule.
That said. Any drug user with 2x more Than what the NHRA is allowed and is involved in a violent crime upon an innocent person will be charged with drug trafficking. This includes kidnapping. Domestic violence. Theft.
The minimum level for a random user with out an employee guidelines will be set at 1 ounce as max. On the person.
So that is set for criminal misconduct and that amount is set for the 4th of July.
Everyone in the world is in rehab.
In one way or another. I'm in rehab for my amnesia. Mine is on tv and in social media i can find photo. Ysll help. Its a long explaination ... But y'all help because I watch on Netflix what you do. I watch Top 10 and i watch trending and i watch new releases and recommendations. Like kinda turning on the radio... Just what's on easy access
So this way i found the series "you" which shows Alex in a non forgiving light. The different girls are all me. Basically in simple terms its called "shape shifting" the reason is for our safety... Some for his sanity... Some obviously I made mistakes... Like not realizing the emotional problem associated with
Now there is with Beck some crazy shit. Now what it was was we were being watched with all kinds of spy equipment. So we were like when i was locked in th box -- it was acting... Emotionally we released but used non identifying words to express our True emotions. So basically we were saying What the spies wanted to hear. And doing what they wanted or what we needed to do to survive.
Having to,fight the Zulululu who does mind games included
So the series "you" can be enjoyed the way it is seen or it could be understood with truth. So y'all trended it and i found it.
It was filmed,in,the 1920s 1980s 1960s all,sorts. But we always magic in technology
This is why. Because we are ass holes.
We tricked them to think there was time traveling. Which is not even possible.
We did a lot of torture.
But you see Alex always picking up little kids to save... He can't help it. Poco was an illegal alien. But Alex did all he could to make his life more comfortable and happier and safer. He loved Poco, i loved Poco. We still do. So we didn't treat Any one less than human.
But we did send in electronic devices we would use in the future that were unreleased to the public and did it via magic. And we lied about years. To trick.
We did base it on reality of the time table we set to release the electronics in the future.
So it wasn't a back to the future deal. It was allowing people to use the technology we had available but had not released.
So I am in rehab for my memories and my abilities. Changing skins... Stuff like that...,
Things i have forgotten.
Trees remember but they filmed these via their tools and so i use them so they can be busy for the future and current life.
They are helpers. Some are servants but they are not slaves. And they have human feelings.
So I sometimes need to be reminded to ask them for help. Because i can't do everything on my own.
So im getting tired. Tr33 updated you on Alex. I'll be with him and try to make his day okay
I'll be watching the tv and generally resting.
So thanks for being interested in our lives and have our real life "reality" t.v. up trending and easily for me to find.
"You" is just what i needed for Alex and i's relationship. I love him.
He wants to say what happened yesterday. And so i had sent him stuff in insta then he shared in his group NHRA chat cause it was funny and informative and he said to humans to do something in particular because it will harm them.
So alien tubes that can't handle all the attention not on them got dumb.
And Chris McGayHay went at him in group saying he was disrespectful to non-humans (aka rapists) and so Alex explained what i meant that "sexual gratification isn't expected from tools such as vibrators and shit like that but from real life human experience,such as pain and suffering being relieved by sexual intercourse and the length and intensity of a sexual orgasm is,dependent upon the emotional level of both people. If one is upset just even about the world issues, sexual impulses from the brain will create more intense and sexually gratifying orgasms which is why she said for me not to get one"
And then Chris McGayHay went after Alex all crazy saying "she said not to have sex with her and I'm gonna kick your ass for lying" and some other vulgarities based upon his interactions with me. Because I don't fuck the world. I'm celebiete except with my soulmate in a metaphysical connection.
So Alex said in response "i Wouldn't want to fight me if i were you because she actually hates you and wishes you were dead. And is thus I would beat you to the living daylights were gone only for you to live the next 3 days with your lungs drowning in blood to make you think you have the Corona Virus impeded with COVID-19 and she would have you laying in my yard in some random corner after ghosting spirit and half animal crazed dragging you to where vultures will eat you. But if you wanna bring it on. You know,the rules and you must pay up front now according to the new rules format with the NHRA. Which I don't like but it stems from the Queen's ruling and how she set it up in 1994 in the Original Fight Club. So do what you want as Sabrina says but i guarantee you, you come here to fight me or her or for her when she can fight on her own you will leave here dead or wishing you were."
He has 7 hours left. If the jail sends him to the hospital to repair his internal injuries, he will die in surgery. Doctors and hospital personnel have enough on their plates to not deal with this mess is a blessing.
He does have his phone to call his loved ones to say goodbye, bitch on the internet about me and everyone else. Look at porno. Whatever he wants. But in 7 hours he will die for what he did yesterday and in hid life. Hurting others when ever he could.
So then back to the issue of yesterday. What I then sent Alex totally Contradicted what Chris said. So then I posted it when Alex and I heard Chris saying maybe that wasn't my Insta account although I posted a screen shot last month with that exact account covered over with marker. They could compared the length. I posted a full detailed story which is why I would have that account.
So my text is in Black with pink tinted. I proved I use An old site and tree proves "magic" crosses over my posts to be a certain way via my log on and ip address and my DNA. NO ONE can post in my colors. No one can post in Alex's nor Tree.
Its like going pee. It only comes out one Way. You can't refill your bladder through your pee hole. Tubers have tried this. 89% of them world wide. 100% in the USA. it's impossible
There were classes on it.
So I coded post 2x
And still he went to beat up Alex or just plain commit suicide.
So Tree has a rather lively action adventure movie to share in schools around the world. Don't worry outs specialized. He's the Tree of Knowledge.
He will use it for doctors and lawyers, people wishing to be and those just curious. By the time it's released With full editing it will be "Old World History"
He'll have 21 different videos in regards to the event. Going back 20 years when I gave him the name McGayHeyHey.
So y'all be good. If you need hospital care and you have no insurance, go to an URGENT CARE or Emergency Room and you will be automatically put on my insurance. You'll need a $3 fee to enroll. Your visit that day will cost $1. Total of $4 at the clinic then $1 for all prescription you can pay at the pharmacy or clinc.
I know y'all got $5 on me, too.
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