#i feel like relapsing

[auguste-rlg]

tears welled up, one, then another, a silent cascade, i wept for your absence

#he's in the ward again what if i kms #i'm tired #I feel like relapsing

[bluddymari]

don't u love feeling paranoid bc ur ex that you haven't spoken to in years found your Instagram (that they didn't know you had!!!) and sent several threats :D

on top of that I feel like shit because school is starting soon n I have to change in gendered locker rooms but I have very visible cuts on my thighs!!! and a ton of scars!!!

I also feel like my partners hate me because they didn't respond to the message I put in the group chat and have been v distant

overall feelin liek shit lmao

#:vent: #I feel like relapsing #shblur #baby cvts #cxtting #i want to cvt #tw self h4rm #styroblr #beansblr #tw s3lf harm

[noecoded]

ok..view my yuri boy

#worst yuri relapse in 6months . fml #i miss asmo though nd i keep picture #picturing mae nd asmo in one img together anf feeling a little sick. like thinkiing of mixing pepsi and milk. theres something wrong #i dont even like limbus company i dont play it either idgaf about anything that isnt these 2 girls... latched into my brain bad #come chat w me eslewhere at 2400db i hide out there nd post ab my sillies despite my hatred for that app frowning emoji #faust #ishmael

[its-pit-not-icarus]

hey lightning rod ⚡ (tap/click for higher quality!)

#jay walker #ninjago jay #ninjago #ninjago fanart #lego ninjago #red's art tag #ninjago relapse #this isnt my usual jay design but im still quite happy w it uwu #I used the colors from the actual jay minifig that i have (idk what series its called- it was the design that didn't appear in the show) #until dragons rising i think but I still havent watched dr lol #i originally sketched this in mspaint but i couldnt color it in paint im not powerful enough to go thru with that lol #so i transferred it to my usual art program and turned antialiasing off to sorta preserve that pixelly paint-like feel #dk how well that went but i still like it haha #ALSO!!! my main inspo for this coloring style is @/legendofdinner here on tumblr!!!!1 super love their work Owo #yes his tongue is blue and yes he has orange hair #edit: the minifig i own is from the Core series!!!

[transactinides]

official obbligato reading order:

the bible

the gospel according to jesus christ by josé saramago

the happy prince by oscar wilde

silence by shūsaku endō

the double by fyodor dostoevsky

obbligato

#im not going to think about enstars obbligato today. relapsed. relapsed. relapsed. relapsed. relapsed. relapsed. relapsed. relapsed. rela #feel free to ask me to elaborate but i feel like those explain themselves #lis silly

[fucklife101]

I just feel like such a burden to everyone. Someone can scream in my face that I’m not a bother but my mind won’t accept it so there’s literally no winning anymore. I can’t cope.

#i dont want to be here #mentally exhausted #tw depressing stuff #im losing hope #i hate myself #i want to die #i’m so alone #self h@rm #i hate my existence #mental health relapse #anxi4ty #deppresing quotes #deppresing thoughts #depressing shit #i want to disappear #tired of life #i relapsed again #no one cares #i feel like such a failure

[girlyteengirl16]

doing okay one moment and the next i’m on the floor crying wondering what i did to deserve that

#mentally unstable #tw depressing thoughts #i wanna kms #depression relapse #pls i don’t like feeling like this #trauma #tw depressing stuff #i want to be okay #mentally tired #actually mentally ill #mental abuse #this account is a cry for help pls help me #i hate what they did to me #haha i hate myself #it is what it is

[ace-apple]

i hope qcellbit fails horribly in his goal to push everyone away from him. i hope they refuse to let him win i hope they make sure he knows that he's just hurting them and it wont stop unless he does because theyre not gonna leave. sorry i just hope this cubito heals so bad i need it more than anything

#mcyt #qsmp #q!cellbit #sorry if i think about his relapse for too long i get like this indefinitely. it makes me so sad #it makes me sad in regards to qpac. do you think he feels like he failed to keep his promise that the monster was gone? #it makes me sad in regards to qbagi. she knew a version of him he never even got to know. #it makes me sad in regards to the eggs. theyll just see their dad no matter what he does #it makes me sad in regards to qroier. he loves him so much and thinks the only way for him to be happy is for him to leave him behind.... #sorry im. insane about my cubito again. #each day without qcellbit healing arc i will get Worse

[bloodyrosesnthorns]

i want to drench my arms in blood but then i remember i have to hide them and i don’t even feel like it.

#kms #mental health #shblur #sh #self h@rm #i hate my body #relapse #i want to cry #cvt #iwanttocut #i wish i was normal #i want to stop feeling like this #mental heath issues #messed up

[justarandomhelluvablog]

having thoughts about how Husk actually has very little left to redeem bc he started his journey of self-change before even coming to work at the hotel, but at the same time redemption isn't even his goal- he ain't even aiming for heaven, he just wanted to be a better person and maybe now with friends and especially Angel, who he supports so much and wants to see succeed, maybe now he has a reason to be a better person

#hazbin hotel #husk #warning I am about to ramble in these tags O7 I have a ridiculous amount of thoughts about this cat bird man #thinking about that word of god from vivzie that Husk is actively fighting his gambling addiction in hell #which besides the pilot we've only seen his gambling mentioned in the past #and idk if it's just because they had to focus on other things but we don't see him drinking as heavily as he did in the pilot #and first few episodes. like he actually wants to be sober #we know he used to be an overlord and we assume that comes with all the terrible overlord qualities #(aka there's no such thing as a good slave owner) #but the Husk we know now has been on both sides of this chain #he knows and respects boundaries. consent is super important to him. this feels like a moral you can't really have to be an overlord #he also sees everyone as more than just what they can do for him specifically. he gets NOTHING out of being Angel's friend #he gets NOTHING out of defending Angel and Cherri during the fight with the Exorcists #he knows when to open up and who to open up to and trust. and he extends a hand to someone in need. someone he ain't even close to- #and if it hasn't changed he is trying to beat his own vices despite not even being a guest of the hotel. he's staff. he doesn't HAVE to #participate in their activities or try to change. he was dragged into this #but dammit he does it anyway #(also if he is still trying to beat his gambling addiction I wonder if the pilot was a relapse. hm) #anyway ig what im trying to say is husk isn't a guest at the hotel but plays the role of a guide for the guests bc he's already #got a very strong and *GOOD* set of morals considering they're in hell #like his level of morals we've only seen /explicitly/ shown in hellborn. and yeah consent and boundaries is rock bottom even for Earth #but they're in hell so somehow the bar manages to be even fucking lower than that so I consider it a win #ALSO THE FACT THAT HE STOOD BETWEEN ANGEL & CHERRI AND THE EXORCISTS??? this mf is willing to DIE for these people #I am 100% sure that if Husk's soul didn't belong to Alastor he would already be redeemed #we don't know what he did in life and we don't know how bad he was as an overlord but we know who husk is /now/ #and that person is a pretty damn good guy #he might have some work to do sure but he's already at least started his redemption before the show even began and #we're just seeing the tail end of it #god damn I really rambled in these tags i am so sorry #I just have so many thoughts about him

[abagrotiscupida]

RANT ABOUT PEOPLES WEIRD ATTITUDE ABOUT SHANE STARDEW VALLEY INCOMING!!!

saw people complaining about shane today and saying he is a bad and awful husband and they divorced him after seeing his room and that he becomes boring after he starts getting therapy because the interesting thing about him is his struggle with addiction and after you "fix him" what's the point of being with him And just?? Why?? Did you even marry him?? Like?? I dunno, people are allowed to have opinions on characters but so many peoples' opinions are just?? Really bad and rooted deeply in ableism and misconceptions about mental health/addiction and are super saviory??

I have said this a thousand times but you can't fix people. That's literally not how people work. You can, however, be there for people and try and create a safe environment for them to be able to help themselves!! AND THATS EXACTLY EHAT FUCKING HAPPEMS IN STARDEW!! Shane gets help ON HIS OWN because he is being supported by both his family and the farmer. And to see that just fucking fly over peoples heads makes me so mad because DID WE PLAY THE SAME FUCLING GAME?? YOU DONT FIX SHIT!! YOU ACT AS PART OF A SUPPORT SYSTEM!! (Which is very important but like) YOU AS A SINGULAR PERSON CANT FIX PEOPLE!!

I also just hate the "I can fix them" attitude because, at least in this specific situation, the people saying this are the same people who divorce him because his room is ugly or because he is implied to relapse and still is depressed??? It feels like the same thing as when someone has "spread kindness!" or "love each other!" in their bio and then is the most rancid hateful person ever? The room thing in particular makes me mad because LIKE WHAT DID YUOU THINK IT WAS GOING TO LOOK LIKE?? YOU SAW HIS ROOM AT MARNIE'S, WHAT MADE YOU THINK HIS ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE WAS GOING TO BE ORGANIZED AND SPOTLESS???

Idk like, again, you can dislike Shane and even regret marrying him. He's not very nice to you until you really get his hearts up there so he comes off as rude and abrasive. You don't HAVE TO LIKE HIM!! But so many people just spout hateful shit and it's like god, I hope you never have anyone in your life who suffers from mental illness because even though Shane is a video game character, the stuff you're saying and the ideas you have surrounding addiction and mental health are super toxic and weird and I hope no real person ever has to be subjected to them.

edit (put this in the tags but then wanted to add it to the main post):

#stardew shane #shane sdv #stardew valley #its like also #relapse is often a part of recovery. it doesnt mean the person has given up trying to help themselves or anything it just happens. #and people are so weird for demonizing it or chalking it up to shane not loving you or something?? #i cant speak on relapsing based in addiction but ive relapsed on other things and i know that it makes you feel so disappointed im yourself #to on top of that awful feeling have someone who you thought cared about you get mad and make your crisis all about them must be so painful #again like Shane is a character but the things he goes through are incredibly realistic and mirror a lot of peoples real life experiences s #just think before you fucking speak ig #tw: alcholism #tw: addiction #relapse mention #mental illness #rant #cupid.txt #tw: ableism #🌶️

[galaxywarp]

you know I really didn’t have any cravings or anything the last six months but after my two big milestones (4 years for fentanyl, 6 months for meth), I’ve been having them almost every day. I’ve been fighting with myself again to not contact my old dealers or friends who are still using. I had a relapse nightmare about fentanyl the other night when I hadn’t even thought about it in years.

Idk what exactly is going on. I hate that these milestones that I should be celebrating are actually so triggering and that they’ve stirred up all of these old feelings.

But they’re probably still worth at least trying to celebrate. I’m trying to be at least a little proud of myself.

I haven’t been clean for this long since I was 20 years old. I’m 26 now. Almost 27. The last six years have been a blurry hell of drugs and withdrawal and pain. I don’t understand why I would ever miss it. I don’t understand why I would long to go back to it.

It feels weird being honest about this.

#recovery tag #usually when I had cravings like this I kept it secret #until it turned into a relapse #but actually admitting how bad I wanna use feels gross #but what’s my alternative #keeping quiet about it has never ever worked out

[princip1914]

Babe, you OK? You're replaying the final 15 again...

#no im not ok #good omens #ineffable husbands #relapsed down the rabbit hole this afternoon #instead of writing fic #oops #angst for days #its about how he can't even say it #and I would like to spend-- #having a feeling on a Tuesday #they really did this

[sserrated]

👼🏻

#don’t know if it’s just being back in this house #but I’m scared #I’m feeling like I really miss my ED #like I actually miss my bulimia #and anorexia and my anorexic body #It’s been like stepping back in time and I’m trying hard to fight it #but damn I miss that time #and most of all that body and that feeling #g0r3c0r3 #g0recore #g0rewh0re #cnc k!nk #cute gore #intox kink #ed relapse #3d relapse #I miss the routine of my bulimia #and all the routines and structure and control of my ED

[girlyteengirl16]

i’ve never felt like i’ve done anything right in my life

#i’m so fucking depressed #mentally unstable #i need a gun to my head #pls i don’t like feeling like this #pls help me i’m not okay #i want to know how to feel okay #i want to die so bad #trauma #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #i want to be okay #tw depressing thoughts #depression relapse #this account is a cry for help pls help me