#i feel like this is going to attract a lot of proshippers please do not talk to me
kaguyin · 12 days ago
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ablednt · 8 months ago
Actually helpful advice for the kids on this hellsite
Once again tired of "don't make a carrd or tell people your triggers" posts going around literally telling kids it's Dangerous to set boundaries. So here's what I've learned in my teen years on how to stay safe in the hellscape that's the internet.
You don't have to link all your social media together but you can if you want to. Don't give out something that is more private (like discord account, Skype or zoom account, facebook, Snapchat etc.) publicly or to people who aren't familiar with yet though.
Use a nickname rather than your real name or birth name, an account and name change may unfortunately be necessary so if you want to keep a name safe or use it irl then don't attach it to public social media. This can be fun though! Go apeshit coming up with different aliases and names! Call yourself lizard if you want to!
The only thing you absolutely need to put somewhere on your account (or carrd) is that you're a minor. You don't have to give the exact age but I promise this is important because even if there's plenty of context clues that you're a minor if you don't indicate this somewhere clear and adults start treating you like shit you need to be able to point out that they're knowingly doing this to a minor. That has saved me from gross bullshit a lot. Yes, people should default to treating people who's ages they don't know as a minor to play it safe but the majority of people assume everyone is the same age as them so you need to make it clear you're not an adult.
Pronouns don't make you identifiable and anyone who acts like putting your pronouns in your bio is unsafe is probably transphobic lmao. You don't have to if you don't want to (and don't mind people not using/knowing your pronouns) but it's safe to put them there most of the time. (The only exception I can think of is if you're closeted and your parents may find your account but in that case you should probably stay closeted online to unless you feel safe/know they aren't likely to find your account.)
You don't have to list every privilege you have and you probably shouldn't but if you're white you probably should indicate this somewhere. This is to hold yourself accountable because yes even teenagers can be racist and underaged people of color also deserve to feel safe. If you're nonwhite and don't feel safe doing so you don't have to list your race or ethnicity.
If you're part of a system/plural or questioning you do NOT have to say your systems origins, if you have DID/OSDD, or list your headmates/alters. The system community has a lot of people in it (and singlets adjacent to parts of the community due to bullshit discourse groups welcoming them) who will target underaged systems to fakeclaim them or harass them etc. I suggest having everyone use aliases/nicknames on a system account and you only tell your origin to people you feel comfortable around and safe with. Your safety and privacy is more important than your trendy system carrd goals I promise!
You shouldn't really just list any disorders you have but it really does no harm to put marginalized identities you're proud of on a carrd or in your bio. You might get a shitty anon or two but I promise people aren't going to dox you if you say you're autistic on your carrd or something.
I personally wouldn't list any special interests that are particularly recognizable (popular media should be ok but more niche stuff may not be) or publicly share a kin list just because you never know if you'll want to switch up your identity online to feel safe and the more things are clearly tied to your current nickname and handle the harder it will be to do this. However if you feel safe doing so it's not the end of the world. Just be careful about it and don't feel pressured to give more info than you're comfortable giving.
You do NOT need to tell people your trauma in order to tell them your triggers. If you need something tagged with a tw you really should indicate this somewhere so people know to tag it (unless you intend to send every you're mutuals with an anon with what to tag which is also an option but may be difficult) but you shouldn't tell them your trauma or medical history to justify it. Your boundaries aren't up for debate and you have nothing to prove. You should only talk about your trauma if you feel safe doing so (and even then please don't give identifiable details like.names of people involved or specifics as that can cause serious problems.)
Boundaries & etiquette
DNIs are good! BYFs are good! Anyone who tells you that they're not good or useful is absolutely trying to disrespect your and other people's boundaries. You can and should make a DNI and list the people you don't want to interact with. (Generally it's better to say groups rather than specific people or names because it's easier to again not be recognized if you need to change accounts/aliases but you can do this if you have strong reasoning and absolutely have to to feel safe.)
DNIs (and also.trigger lists) don't have to all be bad things! You can put fandoms that make you uncomfortable, things that trigger you but aren't bad inherently, etc. on these lists. They're about helping you feel safe not having the hottest takes or being the most morally correct.
Some people you should put in your DNIs as a minor are proshippers/anti-antis and MAPs. Both of these groups have been proven time and time again to groom minors online so the earlier you get away from them the better.
Once you have your DNI please do be aggressive in reinforcing it! Block people who break your DNI, tell people who complain about your DNI to fuck off! Do not tolerate people trying to debate the boundaries You have set this is your corner of the internet to feel safe! They can go somewhere else! Being blocked by a kid on the internet is not the emotional blow abusers act like it is. You're not mean for having boundaries please internalize this and stand up for yourself!
If other people have a DNI you need to check that before following them this is for both your own safety and theirs. If you're unsure what something on someone's DNI means ask around to find out before following just in case.
Do NOT get involved in discourse! This doesn't mean you can't ever take part in or boost serious things. Discussing/calling out bigotry (racism, ableism, transphobia, etc.) isn't discourse. Sometimes callout posts for legitimately harmful people is necessary so that's not automatically bad. But I'm taking about the shit that's #discourse. Stay out of ace discourse. Stay away from syscourse. Don't debate with terfs or transmeds or shitty people. I know it seems like it'd be cathartic to win debates with shitty people, I know there's people who will try to bait you into the latest argument over which lgbt+ identities can say what slurs or whatever the fuck the pointless bad faith argument is, and I know you want to prove that your marginalized identity doesn't make you a bad person like bigots say it does. But as someone who's mental health was absolutely destroyed by discourse as a teen it's not worth it. By all means discuss issues as they arise, broaden your perspectives and horizons, etc. but don't engage knowingly in discourse it will save you so much trouble in the long run.
Try to avoid talking to adults 1x1 if you can avoid it! It's okay to dm with an adult you feel safe talking to sometimes and while it's certainly okay not to interact with adults at all if you don't feel.comfortable it's generally okay to do so. But if an adult is going out of their way to consistently talk to you in private needlessly that can be a red flag. If an adult tries to insinuate that they're the only adult around you can trust that's DEFINITELY a red flag. Basically talk to people in places you can easily involve others if needs be. If someone sends you a dm that makes you uncomfortable screenshot it in case you need to show someone etc.
Don't discuss NSFW things with adults, in spaces adults have easy access to (for example a discord server open to all ages), or even with other underaged people who haven't indicated they're comfortable with it. There's nothing inherently wrong with being aware of nsfw stuff or experiencing sexual attraction as a teenager but it's very important that you don't put yourself in situations that may be unsafe for you or others. Most good discord servers have rules against this for this exact reason. Now, to make it abundantly clear, if you did or do ever say something nsfw and an adult takes advantage of this or responds in a way that makes you uncomfortable this is NOT your fault! The responsibility falls on adults to act appropriately but it's still a good idea to keep youeself out of harms way.
That's basically it on a general level. Once again, posts telling you not to make DNIs or carrds or trigger lists (all used to set clear boundaries) are very suspect and either grossly misunderstand how these things work or are intentionally demonizing them in order to have more opportunity it excuse to do harm. Setting clear boundaries is good. Doing things that help you feel safe and respected is good. Just don't go and get involved in discourse or give out personal information or anything.
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rjalker · a year ago
Hey hi I just don’t know what they are, so can you explain what a bi lesbian is?
(Made with speech to text, please forgive any typos)
I'm not a bi lesbian, so I'm not able to give personal experience, only repeat what I've learned, but they are people who identify with both the bisexual and lesbian labels at the same time, for many reasons.
Historically, bisexual women have always belonged under the lesbian label, because "lesbian" meant simply "women who are attracted to other women", not exclusively women who are exclusively attracted to women. Like WLW or sapphic.
(And this is not ancient history. This wasn't hundreds of years ago.)
There's also the split attraction model to consider, where people could be romantically attracted to both women and other genders, and then sexually attracted to women, or vice versa, or any combination thereof.
The split attraction model, for anyone who's not aware, is where you, well, split your attraction up between "romantic" and "sexual" attraction. It's usually used by ace and aro-spec people, but other people who find it helpful also use it.
And it's important to note that bisexual does not just mean "men" and "women", it means two or more genders. Men and women are not the only options. Non-binary people exist as a spectrum of genders, and they are included in the bisexual (and pan, and omni) label, and again, I am not non-binary, I can only go off of what I've seen non-binary people say, but a lot of non-binary people are not comfortable being automatically included in the lesbian label, because it misgenders them, so that's another reason people use the bi-lesbian label, to further include and avoid misgendering non-binary people.
And some nine binary people are comfortable being included in... this is probably bad way to phrase but I can't think of any other way-- the attraction range of a lesbian, and that's fine too. But that doesn't change the fact that some non-binary people aren't.
There are many reasons for someone to identify as a bi-lesbian, and if any of my followers or anybody who sees this post would like to add on more, feel free, since I'm aroace and cis and can only say what I've seen.
TERFs, aphobes, panphobes, anti-MOGAI, exclusionists of any kind, MAPs, anti-antis, proshippers, do not interact :)
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madamtrashbat · 10 months ago
Some thoughts on proship and antiship
This is a behemoth. Grab some popcorn.
I’ve found out recently that there’s a weird internet war going on between people labeling themselves proshippers and antishippers and it’s a weird sort of thing to witness because I think I’m officially a fandom old because this shit is insane to me, especially coming up in a world where tags were only to tell you what ship you were going to see and any smut was only warned for with “lemons!!!!” which, like, wooh. We’ve come a long way.
If you’ve paid any attention to my posts in the last couple of weeks (and I hope you do because my vanity demands it) you’ll know that I’ve plonked myself in the proship side of things, if only because this is the way fandom has always been to my experience and anything outside of this is bizarre and foreign and I don’t want it. The puritanical way that antishippers comport themselves is strange, to say the least. I saw Goody Proctor writing kink.
And what I think is going on, at least from what I’ve gathered, is that antis are misunderstanding proshippers as being active proponents of writing certain unseemly things, instead of people who all just collectively looked around and went “that’s none of my business and it’s over there.”
I have been writing fanfiction for almost sixteen years. I have seen it all and done it all. And I have gotta tell ya: I hate this purity culture war. It’s so fucking asinine. No one has ever taken kindly to fandom police ever, so, like, what the fuck.
But it’s more than just people announcing their crusade against pedophiles, incest, and abuse, or whatever flavor of bad they’ve chosen today. It’s that there’s no nuance to anything these people view. And I wanna believe that it’s because they’re young (I swear I don’t see any antis over the age of 22) but I know that a lot of it is just falling for the rhetoric of black and white thinking that gets us into all kinds of messes because nothing in this world is so black and white. No, not even the icky things in fiction.
I’m going to tell you guys something I’ve never said on tumblr before. And some of you may want to unfollow me after I say it. I get it. No hard feelings, no judgment. Here it is: from ages fifteen to seventeen, I cut my fanfiction teeth by writing incest.
I’ll give you a minute to sort yourself out.
Tokio Hotel had just gotten big in America and I was all about it (Jesus Christ I ship RPF too won’t SOMEONE think of the children). Bill and Tom were hot, and I started out writing cutesy self-insert fics that all people write in their early teens, but around age fifteen or so I was starting to get curious about this “twincest” I’d seen people mention. I wanted to write about it, how these two people might go about trying to hide a relationship while dealing with the repercussions of their actions, but I was afraid to. This is incest we were talking about, after all. Bad, dirty, wrong, gross incest. No one in their right mind would ever want to do this. Something had to be wrong with me.
Well, as it turns out, some people knew where I was coming from. I had stumbled into a comparatively small community that welcomed me in and allowed me to write what I wanted to. I started writing that fic (I never did finish it; I’m notorious for that) and I was encouraged along the way to expand my skills and explore my fiction and share and they shared with me what they wrote as well. People of all ages, genders, sexualities, with different life experiences had all come together to write various fictions about twins bangin’. Eventually, I found my niche in basically just using these two people as faceclaims (does anyone even still use that word?) where I plunked them down into different scenarios as unrelated fellows, which allowed me the freedom to do as I pleased. And now I’m here.
I met so many good people in that community, people I’m still friends with now, ten-plus years after leaving. People with families, people who were CSA survivors, people who actually were half of a set of twins, people who’d been raped, who’d been abused, incest survivors, people with mental illness, self-harm scars, suicidal ideation, people who had all kinds of colorful pasts that had all been brought together under this banner of writing fiction about these two German musicians. All of us who understood that what we were writing was fiction and we were just exploring the indomitable need to answer the question “what if?” and would have been appalled if this happened in real life.
Antis will read this and immediately decide I condone incest, and proclaim I’m disgusting and I’m the reason little children are going to be abused by their family members. Just by knowing this one thing about me. And that, right there, is the issue I have with antis.
You don’t know where someone else is coming from, you don’t know why someone is writing this thing, you don’t know who this person is on the other side of the keyboard. They can sit and scream “abusers will use these types of fics to groom people!!!!” but are completely and totally missing the point that abusers will use anything to groom their victims. Weird fanfiction is no more at fault than the Bible is. Shall we cancel the Bible, ban it, because it has stories of incest in it? Because it contains rape? Murder?
Fiction can affect reality, but it is not done in the way they think its done. Because there’s a weird idea that fiction is a 1:1 with reality and it’s not. It’s the “video games cause violence” argument brought back to accuse people of writing things that they don’t like as evil and dangerous. And I am too old for this shit.
There’s no middle ground with antis. You are or you aren’t. You’re part of the problem or you’re part of the solution. There’s only black and white, and if you’re writing the black, you’d better roll out your whole history of abuse and your receipts for a therapist that show you’re allowed to write these things to cope, which, like, Jesus, guys, you can’t just go around demanding to know if someone is a CSA survivor to give them permission to write fic, holy shit?????????? This is a thing now???????
Based on the way antis think, Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino are pedophiles for including romance in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Stephen King encourages underage porn because of the orgy in It. And let’s not even talk about how he condones murder. George RR Martin is a rapist and a proponent of incest because it’s in A Song of Ice and Fire. Eoin Colfer believes in child abuse because he writes about it in his book The Wish List. Do you see where I’m going with this?
To these people, because I’ve written things like incest, or the story I’ve been sitting on for years about teen pregnancy that (oh dear lord) talks about teenagers having the sex with each other, the self-insert fic I wrote at thirteen trying to parse out my attraction to a then 31-year-old Davey Havok, or abuse, or murder, I’m irredeemable and an abuser myself. I would do these things myself if given the chance. They don’t want to know anything else about me. They don’t want to know that I once was physically sick from fear because a family friend hit his wife in front of us and I was so scared. They don’t want to know that I’ve been personally sharpening the guillotine blade for Woody Allen for years. They don’t want to know that an alcoholic I was romantically involved with once tried to kill me. They don’t want to know the struggles I’ve had with mental illness. They don’t want to know that I’ve had to hold the hands of friends who had significant others that would threaten suicide and be emotionally abusive. They don’t want know that I donate to women’s shelters. They don’t want to know that I was part of the group hug that circled around my pseudo-sister when she found out that the boy that had sexually abused her, whom nobody had believed had done anything wrong to her, was finally going to jail for his sex crimes, reveling in her final vindication. That I still deal with the emotional repercussions of my dad taking out his own emotional turmoil on me, my sister, and my mom. That it took me years to forgive my sister for the emotional abuse she subjected me to in the name of hating how weird I was.
They don’t want to know, and moreover, they don’t care. I write bad and scary fiction and therefore I am part of the problem.
The point where we’re at in the world of fanfiction is unthinkable to little thirteen-year-old me’s brain. Things are meticulously tagged with proper warnings and categorized with care because we all went through the dark ages of clicking on a fic and suddenly seeing, like, fisting without knowing what we were getting into.
(My squick is sounding. Ugghghggh, God, it’s so eugh. I don’t even have that part and it makes me so uncomfortable to think about)
All these precautions and safety nets and ways to AVOID seeing anything you don’t want to and it’s still not enough because we in the proship camp are allowing each other to write things we might view as unsavory. Because it’s not for us. Nothing is for us, we just get to go along for the ride.
And because nothing is for us, it’s not any of my business to decide who gets to write what. It’s not my place to say “Laurel over here went ham with the rape fic it’s time to stone her in the square.” Because who the fuck am I???
There are always going to be gross people who misuse this freedom, obviously. Rule 34 has existed for a long time. I was there, Gandalf, for the insurgence of bronies and, just, ugh. But they are the vast minority and the rest of us who write or draw things that are unseemly are just, you know, people. I sell mattresses for a living and I’m on the way to getting an interior design degree and I own a black cat and I’m going to be my sister’s maid of honor. I also occasionally want to partake in media that is unsavory.
It’s why horror is so popular as a genre. Sometimes we want to see just the worst shit imaginable.
This giant pile of crap all boils down to this: I ally myself with the proship camp rather than the antiship camp because I think the antiship camp is wickedly misguided, people who think they are doing good but are actually causing more harm than anyone who is proship ever has. It is not my place, nor is it anyone’s place, to tell other people what they can and cannot do with fiction.
And that’s that.
Feel free to unfollow me if you need to. No hard feelings. I promise. But I hope this means something. We are not proship because we want to harm. We are proship because we’re all fucking weird and it’s not my place or anyone’s place to tell you how to let your weirdness out.
We have the tools at our disposal in a way that our fancestors could have only dreamed of using in order to parse out the perfect fan experience. And antis want to remove all that for the sake of imaginary children.
Absolutely not.
I recommend traipsing through the tag on this blog that does a much better job of parsing all this out because, like, wow, is this deeper than I ever thought it was, but it’s important to know what’s going on.
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mydreamsarejanked · 3 months ago
hey this is probably gonna be sudden coming from me considering this blog is just a bunch of nonsense but like? i’ve had this on my mind recently and it’s something i do want to share my thoughts on.
i’ll say it with my whole lungs, proshippers make me uncomfortable and i do not consider them welcome here on my page. recently, in fandoms i participate in, i’ve seen an influx of people who consider themselves to be proship and some of the things they say just do not sit well with me. it’s something i’ve been observing more recently to figure out what the big deal is, and to be honest, i can’t make a comfortable argument about proshippers in any way i can reasonably think of.
this isn’t going to be an active callout of anyone either. i’m not mentioning names, nor fandoms, but some of the things ive seen proshippers post just makes me question how much they can carry their argument that it’s just fiction and that it’s not a big deal. this also isn’t an attack. i know most proship people argue that they regularly get attacked and that people should block and move on, which i like to think i can do quite reasonably, but i do have to argue that a lot of the content posted by them is just. not healthy to even be considering.
click to read more, but please note, i discuss many touchy subjects, but don’t go too into it with description, just mention them and discussions of them.
again, without naming a series nor characters, i recently was viewing posts for an anime with prompts, some of which focusing on a child character and their caretaker, and said caretaker abusing and harming said child in a sexual setting. this character canonically isn’t even a teenager. it shouldn’t be odd to say that this is very odd to be supporting. i know that should be obvious, but many brush it off as just being fictional, therefore it should be okay to write about and read about. not to mention the person who created these prompts was nearly 30 years old.
however, in my eyes, the argument isn’t a perfect one. many researchers who have actively studied the subject have noted that, more often than not, many people whom have been observed used these pieces of fiction (ie l/li or sh/ta for instance) will often be more likely to have these urges than to cope with them. at the same time, actively consuming these written works with child characters placed in sexual settings like this cannot be healthy, as i have seen many note that the more media like this is consumed, it’s likely for one to develop these attractions.
i know many proshippers do make the statement that their ships do not equal condoning the real thing, and i do firmly want to believe this to be true, but the way many write and talk about it makes it hard to argue that to be the case. i’ve seen pride flags for different forms of inc/st ships, long posts talking about how “attractive” they find these ships, etc etc.
quite simply, i don’t think things are as black and white as proshippers want people to believe. i know this post is gonna attract drama and discourse, but i’ve had this bugging my mind for so long recently because i’ve felt that proshippers have become more vocal. i don’t identify myself as either proshipper nor anti frankly, but i cannot find myself being able to stand with proshippers in any way. i would like to go on with just blocking in silence, but i also do not wish to call anyone out in specific.
i simply want it to be known that i don’t think the encouragement of this content is fine to do, and quite frankly, seeing people encourage it as just being fiction is not enough for me. i like to think i’m rather loose and say that you can write about taboo subjects as a coping mechanism, like many note it to be for them, but there comes a point where those things just simply should not be shared. i especially cannot agree with that point either when it feels that the purpose of said works are meant to be viewed in a desirable sexual lens.
thats all i have to state for now. i’m sure this might get me into some arguments but i’ve said my piece and wish to leave it at that and needed to get my thoughts out there a bit.
i know anti shippers arent much better, i will say that. death threats and harassment are never okay, hence why i don’t identify myself as an “anti” either. i’m also not saying i hate pro shippers either, i like to think my thoughts are pretty reasonable and easygoing for what it is. quite simply my statement is to say that there is content that shouldn’t be encouraged by people, as some is very extreme. i’m not also speaking on all pro shippers either, nor do i say that all are like this.
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kuromichad · 11 months ago
sorry but that post going around saying “proshipper means pedophile” is like. not necessarily wrong in spirit but it is literally just not true that ‘proship’ was created to replace ‘map/nomap’ and it’s aggravating me so fucking much that op is calling anyone who tries to say so a pedo apologist. (hence making my own post about it.) 
map/nomap is a term for people who are literally self-identifying as pedophiles like they are people who openly state that they are attracted to Real Actual Children and just supposedly are vowing to not do anything about it. ‘proship’ is a fucking fandom term that just means the obvious inverse of ‘anti-[underage/incest/abuse/etc]-shipping’. obviously a ‘proshipper’ may be a ‘proshipper’ specifically because theyre also a map/pedophile but there are also loads of ‘proship’ people who use the term because they just dont care about shipping discourse, or because they have ‘abusive’ ships that arent pedophilic, or like. even if theyre lolicons. there literally still is such a serious gap between fictional content and real life actions. 
that doesn’t mean that fictional content and the communities built around it can’t ALSO be bad but theyre not interchangeable concepts. even loads of people who would smugly call themselves proship lolicons on their nsfw twitter or whatever are extremely uncomfortable with map/nomaps because the entire premise of MAP as a term is to defang and seek community about actual irl attraction to real life kids. a person who is like “having huge discourse fights about anime ships between people who are 15/18 or 17/20 is ridiculous to me so i guess i’m a proshipper because it’s the opposite of these ‘anti’ people who are starting those fights” is not a fucking map and proship is literally not secret code for map... it’s a term for fucking shipping discourse... 
i’m not saying it’s wrong to be concerned about things that go on in fandom but dear god a lot of you have completely lost sight of the difference in seriousness between these things. please remember that “this problematic age difference ship could potentially create a community where potentially some abusers could use it as one avenue out of potentially many for grooming/exploiting teenagers” is inherently a less acutely dangerous situation than “literal actual self-professed pedophiles trying to garner sympathy from young people by rebranding their open attraction to irl children.” literally the scary thing about maps is theyre just comfortably acknowledging irl pedophilia as part of their identity. you cannot convince me that proshippers on the other hand, as a community mostly made of people at this point being like “this fictional taboo porn i’m making on a locked account among other adults is not this huge deal thing you need to be spending all your time digging up for the sake of callouts” (whether you agree with them about that or not), are exactly as horrifying as that and that the terms are interchangeable.
(not to mention that if you go around making shrill posts asserting things that literally arent true then youre just. hurting your own cause because people will just be like ‘see, antis overreacting again and making false equivalencies :\ clearly Nothing they say can ever be true’ and people who lie somewhere in the middle will be like ‘yeah, seems so’ and discard the post. like that’s just... common sense... don’t say shit that isn’t true just because it Feels true by some hasty application of transitive property.)
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power-kick · 3 months ago
placeholder introduction post thingy. will edit if i have something relevant to add about myself in the future or something
if i say something wrong or if I'm annoying you please tell me ;_;
sorry, I have no idea how tumblr etiquette works
I'm Max
I'm a boy
I use he/him. they/them is cool too actually, I'm not nonbinary tho
I'm bi greyrose & demian
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flags left to right top to bottom: demian, grayrose, angled aroace, marblic [mlm, mlnb, & mlw], monoamorous [just to balance it because i hate the 3 2 flag pattern ugh. but also why not lol]
omnibi then omniaspec
I really love my Bi flag but its more specific to use omnibi because omnibi encompasses all types of attraction https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Omnibi so ;-; goodbye bi flag.
omniaspec because I'm grey for everything (though mostly in different ways) and most of them are demi
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I'm Filipino
I'm 16
i dont judge anyone based on their sexuality, gender identity, race, religion, neurodivergence, disabilities. we're all cool here.
I'm sorry if I don't reply to your dms,
I'm a minor and I'm extremely sus of people who message me without interacting with me much. uhh pedos exist also. So, I'm really not gonna risk it unless I know what your intentions are/what you want to talk about.
shipping preferences
This may come as a shock to you/s, but I'm a bakudeku shipper 😱😱😱
bakudeku switches. I rest my case.
I'm not a shipper of poly ships unless they're canon poly (most of the time), but it honeslty makes me smile sometimes ESPECIALLY if i shipped all if them at some point. but i really prefer mono bakudeku. they're just way too intense with each other SJDJWJS. todomomojirou sounds neat but I'm more partial to momojirou though. but the slight bkdk parallels :(((
As long as it's well made, I like concepts with the other baku and deku ships. only the concept though.
not a proshipper not an anti proshipper either. here's my sleepy explanation:
i don't condone pedo ships. there's a certain line that shouldn't be crossed :") sorry
i believe that there is an extent in which shipping does affect reality. i only ship ships that i believe won't have a negative impact.
shipping affecting reality is up to two things, did the author frame it as a good thing? or not? and it's up to the audience, are the audience knowledgeable and know that it's wrong irl but still enjoy content of it? or are they impressionable and are influenced by the show?
pedo ships are definitely not cool though (mostly referring to canonically pretty pedo characters) and are harmful always. especially if you draw them in explicit wayyy
how i feel about aging up probably depends on the perspective of the person shipping.
it's a case to case basis for this stuff. and there's many factors to decide if it's like those two things. and i guess the deciding thing is the psychology of the shipper
ok that might not be clear I'm gonna go back to sleep now
school -> sleepy -> dying inside -> I want to talk about lots of things like why I disagree about some things but I have to prioritize my life (unlike me, before, staying up late like a dumbass) many things are important but health is more important ok. future me i s2g if you do something stupid again
please don't assume weird things about me because of bakudeku okay ;_; I just wanna vibe :'))) as much as i have lots to say i wont assume weird things about antis either let's just chill ok there's other things we might have in common :'(( pls antisssssss
Fave stuff (wont disclose all in case i need to migrate)
Fanfic type: FLUFF
manga/manhwa/manhua/comics in general/Animes/Donghua/Animated things in general:
most favorite:
(they're all tied)
- my hero academia
- haikyuu
- link click
- hunter x hunter (love the nen system)
- re:zero
- chainsaw man
- slime tensei
- spirit pact
- puella magi madoka magica (I think I first watched it when I was five HAHAHAHA i was so traumatized.)
- mob psycho 100
- one punch man
- Yu Yu Hakusho
just love both ok
(also the fighting was just way too dragged out in the anime. I loved the characters though, not really Yusuke [sorry i just don't like how he's kind of a sexual,,, harasser. Ignoring that, he's not bad])
- Heaven official's blessing
the donghua is great and I love how they animated the romantic tension. same studio with link click too.
(I *almost* finished the book but I don't want to anymore. I have gripes about how Hua Cheng doesn't have any real attachments besides Xie Lian iirc. He doesn't have any other meaning to his life and I'm not into that kind of thing. They're not bad for each other but the way Hua Cheng loves him is the mark of someone with a crap childhood and it's just sad to see. it makes a lot of sense, I just don't find it romantic.
oh my god was that a controversial opinion please don't kill me
The plot is excellent though iirc. I really have respect for her as an author especially since writing is hard and she wrote a really really long story. it's my favorite published book besides [some childhood books that i wont mention] It's a very engaging book. I stayed up until 4 am to read it many times [not a good habit don't do that])
had to say it because I should clarify my shipping preferences since this is a ship blog focused on bkdk
So obviously i think, my story preferences are:
- stories with good ol internal conflict that affect the main plot and with loveable characters
- writing (I'm a complete novice. haven't finished anything yet)
- drawing (I'm also a beginner)
note to self: probably post the other stuff separately then put it here
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jcmorrigan · 10 months ago
Do you support anti-harassment and pro-shipping?
Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: This is an issue I’ve been monitoring and grappling with for a long time, and I feel like while my core philosophy has been the same for a while now, the nuances I’ve held shift every so often. I don’t identify as an anti. I just don’t. I think shipping things - be it incest, adult/minor, or one of the many flavors of abusive - is an ENTIRELY separate issue from wanting to do that IRL. I think sometimes people just want to write taboo topics for various reasons. Because the topics themselves are taboo and that’s interesting, because they offer methods of coping, even because some people are kinda into projecting upon the person on the losing end of the power dynamic and being dominated and kicked around, since that’s not something you should really chase in real life (unless it’s during a roleplay with a network of safewords).
There are many ships I think are gross, but I don’t want people to stop shipping them because I don’t like them. I don’t like ships that involve anyone under 13 with anyone over 18. I don’t like ships that involve anyone under 18 with anyone over 30. (Aging up is a whole different matter; if you write the younger character older and legitimately have them behave the way you think they would as an adult, it’s all good.) I REALLY don’t like ships where a character is either confirmed homosexual or only shown onscreen to be attracted to the same gender in a big-deal reveal sort of way (if the character has crushes on many genders or the creator uses Word of God to say they’re bi/pan, it’s fine) and the ship involves putting them with someone of the opposite gender (shipping them with enbies is fine). And no, I don’t think it’s a double standard that I sometimes like to do same-sex ships for characters who are coded very very straight. But this is all to do with my tastes and beliefs, not with what I think the rest of you all should do. If you like something that falls in my personal no-no category, then go ahead and do it. I’ll decide how much I want to interact with you, and that says more about our potential chemistry as a unit than it does about you as a person. And if you have boundaries yourself - if age-gap ships skeeve you out - then that doesn’t make you a bad person or even an anti! Just block as needed, talk to friends if you feel betrayed by them, and recognize what it is you don’t like and that you don’t have to like it.
Selfshipping? Do what you want. Again, I might personally have reservations about shipping with somebody too young (I actually perceived my own main f/o as in his twenties when I first watched his source, then saw Word of God say he was NINETEEN actually, even though that invalidates many many jokes about how he’s bad at adulting, so I just said “fuck it” and he’s at least 24 to me because that makes more sense and is more of my comfort zone). But what I like shouldn’t dictate what YOU do. I might give you a little side-eye if you’re shipping with somebody young, but I don’t know your reasons for doing so and I don’t have the right to judge. I might distance myself from certain situations if I’m feeling skeeved out. Or I might not feel skeeved out depending on how it’s handled. I also again would raise a brow if you’re selfshipping with an opposite-gender gay character, but same principle: you have your reasons, you shouldn’t stop because some rando (me) has an issue with your ship, and if I have a problem with how you handle it, I’ll just peace out on my end and not make a deal out of it.
A lot of this comes from the fact that I have mega OCD and I already try to moralize everything I do and hyper-analyze my choices to make sure I am being a Good Person. If I try to follow the “rules” to make my ships palatable to everyone, then I start worrying that any deviation makes me unforgivable. The vast majority of ships in my deck are squeaky-clean and have no problems, but sometimes I’ll get, like...Ventus/Papyrus, where Ven is 15, and Papyrus is in age limbo but I always thought he was at least 18, and then I don’t want to spiral into a moral crisis because I really think it would be cute to put the anime boy with the skeleton and I think they’re both asexual anyway. Or when I aged up Zevon from Descendants in order to make him make more sense as Yzma’s son, and then I had to give him a ship with an adult and I found one I really like (Kamdor from Power Rangers). And this is not even scratching the very complex issue of “The writers of this piece of fiction were ACTUALLY horny for incest and I can see the subtext for it and now I gotta figure out what to do with this mess because I like the series and I do want the characters to have partners who will treat them right.”
That said...up until recently, I looked up to the more extreme proship community, even so far as to kinda be more of an “anti-anti.” But as time went on, that...didn’t seem to fit. I’ve unfollowed a few of those blogs now because first of all, proshipping as a “political party” seems to come with some things I don’t believe in, such as forming a parasocial relationship with AO3 or saying that freedom of fans to ship what they want means the creators of mainstream media should be allowed to portray whatever they want and that being “critical of media you consume” is an automatic dogwhistle for bullies. More importantly: I have at least one friend who I know leans more anti, and I value her a lot and I think it’s valid for her to have her boundaries. After a while, the things that anti-antis did to protect themselves from bullying started to feel a little bit like bullying right back. I can’t really call myself a traditional proshipper anymore, even though I’m definitely not an anti. But I don’t want to be an “anti-anti” either. Because actually, I USED to be an anti on a different social media platform long before Tumblr, and though I can’t tell you exactly why I was that way, I can understand what it’s like to feel that strongly about things that gross you out and want to get them out of your face. I don’t want to say I’m against a whole bunch of people who are probably as varied in intensity as proshippers are.
At the end of the day, what I want is for us all to CHILL OUT. Can we please, PLEASE just focus on having fun in whatever way that comes - problematic ships or no - so long as people IRL aren’t getting hurt? Can we respect that there are probably a LOT of people with OCD on social media who spiral easily if shamed too much (which is probably how the anti movement rose in the first place - I’m sure my anti phase was fueled by my secular scrupulosity)? Can we not assume that people who ship weird age gaps are Actual Pedophiles, which is an entirely separate issue? (Listen...I grew up in the Age of AkuRoku. I hated AkuRoku. But if all the AkuRoku shippers turned out to be pedos, well, the news sure didn’t cover it. I’m saying the majority of them didn’t. And it’s been a decade.) Can we not spread the fear of being cancelled or that having a certain fictional preference will ruin a budding friendship? Can we communicate with one another in private if a friend says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, such as shipping something that makes you question their moral stance? Can actual legitimate creators of media not take sides in the goddamn pro/anti war, thereby making groups of their fans feel alienated from being welcomed by the source? Can we just have fun PLEASE?
Also, just...stop fighting about Reylo. That’s the dumbest thing to fight over and we managed to somehow get the actual SW crew in on that dumbass fight. Some people like Reylo and some people hate Reylo and THAT’S IT. WE’RE DONE HERE.
It sure says something that I worry, before hitting the Post button, that this might ruin some of the relationships I have or inspire a mass exodus of the followers whose names I come to like seeing in my notifications. But it’s ultimately better for all of us if I’m honest.
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