#i feel ridiculous for feeling this way but im actually panicking | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caotictimmy · 6 months

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ok guys how would gangle react if jax hit the reader with a brick (romantically)

SORRY IT TOOK SO SO SO LONG,again if you’ve seen my recent post you would know why, but before I go again until Halloween I’m just trying to clear out some of my request, and since I’m gonna be gone for some days I decided to turn it into a little one shot(hope you don’t mind) but I’ll have a little head canon on part at the top),GN READER (IM GINNA CRY WHY DID IT DELTE MH FIRST PARAGRAPH) sorry to the ppl who had to seee the shut version of my work because it deleted my first paragraph into the oneshot)

☆poor gangle, poor poor gangle😭

☆she would be absolutely be shell shocked when it first happened

☆she was panicking so hard Jax thought she might abstract right then and there

☆she honestly wouldn’t know what to do she would probably think you might have died

☆but she tries her best to comfort you

☆and lest be honest you falling down from a flying brick would probably make her comedy mask fall off

☆so she’s not the best😭she’ll probably get so overwhelmed all she could do was call Caine

☆but once you we told to go back to your room she comes to visit you to make sure your ok:3

One shot under here

You were friends with Jax’s, surprising I know, you would always make sure he didn’t go to crazy with his pranks especially with gangle

Soon though, Jax took notice of this, how you would always be a little bit(a lot of bit) more defensive of gangle then any one else, when he confronted you about it, all you said was that her mask could break easily and we don’t want it to break in little pieces and not be able to be fixed.he knew you were lying, even you know that was a bad lie.

He’s seen you nervously talking to gangle, he always suspected something was up with you guys, he honestly almost threw up from all your “lovey dovey feelings trash”, he was so sick of it.so sick of it in fact.

Jax decided he wanted to do something about, he decided he wanted to be your wingman,but with out you even knowing though, cause what would be the fun in telling you am I right?he advised a plan, a stupid over the top ridiculous plan, it’s Jax, of course he’s gonna do something drastic

As you were having a nice and peaceful conversation with gangle, giggling with her about a stupid story about how bubble almost ate caine’s hand off,trying your best to not stumble over your words, you were unsuspecting, so so unsuspecting,yes you did get pranked by Jax a lot but he would at least tone it down because you would try and find a way to get back at him, but you would never expect him to do well..

Just as you were about to get to the part where Caine short circuited, BANG and then a loud thud is all you could process, what just happened, you couldn’t know,”OH GOD ARE YOU OK?”, you heard tangles frantic voice, you swear you were seeing stars when you looked up. “H-huh…”, you couldn’t even process what was happening you mind was just kinda blank, you felt gangle’s ribbon arms wrap around you, “OH NO NO.. JAX! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!” She yelled frantically.

You felt your brain spinning, in your consciousness state you decided to be bold,” you..you know gangle” you giggle out a little bit in a woozy voice, “your like…really really pretty, and your so nice and and…” you trail off making kissing sounds then you kinda just fall asleep, the brick sure knocked you out good, but Jax got a kick out of what was about to happen next.

Gangle was takin aback, she started rambling (not knowing you kinda..passed out) about how she didn’t think you liked her back, she got so worked up her comedy masked dropped.😭

I think I’m gonna get one more story before I Actually go on break until Halloween

#the amazing digital circus #tadc shitpost #tadc #tadc headcanon #tadcsenario #tadc one shot #tadc gangle #tadc x reader #tadc jax #x reader

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katwitchwriting · 2 months

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help i just found out they’re making a live action how to train your dragon and im having so many feelings i love those movies and the voice cast (NOT including jonah hill or tj miller) so much i am having a lot of fucking feelings.

also the og first movie and its musical score is my comfort film and score idk how to feel perhaps i will simply pretend this isn’t happening until i see footage/trailers……..

but like if they fuck w how toothless is designed i may actually lose it.

am i being ridiculous about a kids movie when im a grown woman?? perhaps. do i give a fuck??? nope!! it’s panicking hours!!!!

also this is in NO WAY me trying to attack the literal children they have already cast!!! i have ZERO issues with the casting or these kids!!! it’s just the concept of making these movies live action that i’m having feelings about. i strongly beloved we should leave the actors alone, they are young and they are simply doing their job by being cast!

#how to train your dragon #httyd #how to train your dragon live action #help meeee i’m having feelingsssss

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reallyromealone · 2 years

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This is a collab with @hanmasghost !

Takemichi x male reader modern au where they are online boyfriends.

Please read his as well because he's very talented and cool.

Takemichi giggled as he texted on his phone, the Toman meeting just ended and everyone was just chatting at this point "whatcha giggling about?" Chifuyu asked curiously, glancing over his shoulder only for takemichi to cover the screen abruptly and catching the attention of everyone else in the room "Mitchy? What's going on?" Mikey asked curiously and Takemichi panicked for a moment, he realized he hadn't come out to his friends yet

"Uhhh nothing?"

"You texting ya girlfriend?" Baji teased and Chifuyu made a dramatic gasp "partner you didn't tell me you were dating?!"

With all his panic he didn't realize how close Mikey got until his phone was snatched from his hands "whose (name)💖?" He asked curiously with batted eyelashes as he read through their texts...they were pretty romantic to say the least "what's this about meeting up?"

Takemichi sighed as he fiddled with his fingers "I have to tell you guys something..." He said not meeting their eyes "I-Im gay..." He waited for the ridicule and sneers but nothing came and looking up everyone stared at him until Mikey began laughing "I thought you were gonna say you are leaving Toman or something!"

Everyone began laughing and congratulating him before Chifuyu spoke up "so you're texting your boyfriend?" Curious and Takemichi nodded slightly "we dated since middle school and met up a few times.." takemichi began rambling about his boyfriend and they could see the love in his eyes "he's just so wonderful!"

"Well when can we meet him? When is he visiting next?" Toman was curious as they stared at him expectedly "well he's visiting in the upcoming weeks... I would love for the most important people to meet each other!" Toman felt blinded at takemichis smile and were super curious to meet the person takemichi was so in love with.

(Name) smiled as he walked through the airport, looking around curiosity for his boyfriend when he saw him waving excitedly with the friends he was told about.

"(Name)!" He practically yelled as he pounced his boyfriend, hugging him tightly as (name) caught him" hey babe!" (Name) said with equal enthusiasm as he kissed his cheek "are you gonna introduce me to your friends?"

"Oh right!" Takemichi said and turned to the group "this is Toman!" Takemichi said excitedly as he introduced each member "it's wonderful to meet you all! Takemichi talks highly of you all!" (Name) said deep bowing like takemichi taught him.

The deeper the bow, the more respect!

"Let's go get you settled!" Takemichi said excitedly as he dragged him off and grabbed one of his bags.

"I got you all gifts! Sorry if their not amazing" (name) said shyly as he handed them all little gift bags, trinkets and snacks from his home country and a little something for takemichi, his favorite snacks.

"You're so sweet!" Takemichi said as the men opened their gifts, all thankful for them.

(Name) was happy takemichi had people so caring around him, keeping him company when he couldn't and Toman... They were so happy their Mitchy found someone equally as selfless as him.

"We will make sure he doesn't do anything stupid when you're not around!" Smiley said teasingly, smacking (name)s back and (name) laughed a bit, feeling welcomed into the group already.

"Do what plans do you have for the future?" Mother Mitsuya asked and (name) practically beamed at the question "I'm actually going to be attending Tokyo university next year!" He said pulling out his acceptance letter "why didn't you tell me?!" Takemichi said excitedly and hugged his boyfriend "I wanted to suprise you!"

Everyone partied and celebrated the night away, happy for the couple and (name) and honestly?

(Name) wouldn't have it any other way.

#tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #takemichi x reader #takemichi x male reader #male reader

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crowning-art · 1 year

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TGCF SPOILERS FINALE!

Me and 10 cuties who have been keeping up with my crazy TGCF journey after i finally finished it 2 years later lmaoo

*Note that clown in the center is me and everyone knows why after seeing my wonderful, beautiful, RIDICULOUS AND OUTLANDISH theories throughout the read lmaoo

Without further ado...the finale!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Goushi really swooped in during the LAST TWO SECONDS of this huge novel and really just stole everyone's heart, huh? I love this dude

In the last second, a hand caught Feng Xin’s boot, and Feng Xin caught Mu Qing’s boot. When he looked up, he cried, “WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! GUOSHI OLD SIR, PLEASE DON’T EVER LET GO, ALRIGHT!!!”

YOOO FENG XIN ACCEPTED HIS CHILD OH MY GODDD DJJDJDJDJF T-T THE CHARACTER GROWTH

THE WAY THE TABLES HAVE TURNED AHHHHH its now Xie Lian who has Jun Wu pinned and nailed down to the ground with a sword djdjdjjdjjd low key, Xie Lian really needed to do that....yknow....therapeutically lol

I love this so much cuz ya, at the end of the day, it's tiring, it's exhausting keeping up a facade and forcing yourself to be someone who u know really isn't you and I feel Jun Wu despite all he's done was very heavily a product of his situation.

“I just genuinely really miss Your Highness,” Guoshi said. “I miss the once-Kingdom of Wuyong,

I miss our people, and I miss the days before we ascended. That’s all.”

“…”

Guoshi then added, “It’s been so many years, Your Highness. Just watching you makes me tired. Very tired. How about you? Are you not exhausted?”

And yes, I get that there was still a bit of inherit evil within him which got amplified thanks to the wuyong problems but like at the end of the day, he's just a sad little meow meow

AND THEN

“…Have I been defeated?” Jun Wu sounded a little lost.

After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.

DJDIFNIFJFJFJFJ DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT AGAIN??? HJDHDHFHFHF U KNOW WHAT IM GONNA SAY AND UGH ITS ALWAYS BACK TO THE ✨️THEMES OF KINDNESS AND LOVE✨️ BRB gonna cry some more AGAIN

Ahh I remember pointing this out a while back but Hua Cheng was always the ONLY one who really helped ground Xie Lian when he was lost and confused. Like the split emotions he kept feeling of not knowing whether to laugh or cry, all gone even when he's told the craziest news yet, aka Wu Ming identity

All of a sudden, thousands of emotions, millions of words swarmed into his head. There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.

Lol u guys don't even get it, there were so many parts that were my fave here and I was trying my best to not post the whole chapter here cuz i loved EVERY part, the way Xie Lian leaped into Hua Chengs arm at the end, the cute Xianle trio bickering, just everything T-T

WTF U MEAN LIL BREAK I DO NOT NEED THIS RN PLZ DONT OH MY GODOHMYGODOHMYGOS HUA CHENG DONT U DARE DIE OH MYGOD

All of this:

Hua Cheng’s long and slender fingers gently combed through Xie Lian’s mussed hair. “Then, Your Highness, do you know why I refuse to leave this world?”

Xie Lian couldn’t understand why Hua Cheng could still be so calm at a time like this, as he was panicking so hard he was trembling. But, while feeling lost, he still simple-mindedly asked,

“Why?”

Hua Cheng replied quietly, “Because I have a beloved who is still in this world.”

Hua Cheng said quietly, “Your Highness, I understand your everything.

“Your courage, your despair; your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate; your intelligence, your foolishness.

“If I could, I would have you use me as your stepping stone, the bridge you take apart after crossing, the corpse bones you need to trample to climb up, the sinner who deserved the butchering of a million knives. But, I know you wouldn’t allow it.”

They really did invent love, I can't think of anything else to say to this 😭

HIS EXPRESSION MY HEART CRACKED INTO A MILLION PIECES AT THIS WHOLE SCENE BUT ESPECIALLY AT THIS LINE

Hua Cheng’s gaze was gentle and blazing, that remaining eye filled with love, and it gazed at him silently.

He's gonna be back for sure. The red string and the ashes are still there....but it's still soooo saaad

LMAOOO the heavenly officials became homeless fr I'm dying lmaoooo

ROUYE IS BACK YESSSS!!! AND UGHH XIANLE TRIO!! IM SO HAPPY THEY R TOGETHER AGAIN!! I MISSED THIER SHENANIGENS SO MUCH

Xie Lian rummaged around his sleeve and fumbled out a white silk band that was torn in half, and said joyously, “Yeah, finally, the material to fix Ruoye is found! I’ll go patch it up right now!”

However, Feng Xin stopped him. “Patch it up? You?! Forget it, what can you patch? Ask someone else to help you.” Then he turned his head and shouted, “MU QING! COME GET TO WORK!”

Pei Su and Banyue were really an underrated duo this whole book, especially with the way they guarded Ke Mo and the other ghosts lol

Pei Su and Banyue were sitting at the entrance, both of their expressions blank.

Feng Xin divorce arc lmaooo Finally it came to an end...and in a really nice and mature way. I really appreciated the way MXTX wrote Jian Lan's whole character, like she also grew as a person and is def underappreciated

However, Jian Lan withdrew her smile. “What you’ve said are all things of the past. What was love once doesn’t mean it’ll last. I’m not interested in being a charity case and a nuisance.”

And Xuan Ji! Everyone really grew up huh? (*sobbing incontrollably*)

Still don't like Pei Ming smh overgrown man child fr U go Yushi Huang for showing him whose boss!!

GUZIIII MY HEART NOOOOO I really respect LQQ for doing this

so I could only…gather a bit of the soul particles of the Green Ghost and keep them in a lamp. Now he shows up in front of me every day hugging that lamp, asking when the soul within the lamp will grow bigger! I really…”

And Guzi! Fret not! Qi Rong will be back cuz his ashes aren't destroyed!!

THE PEARLS ARE BASICALLY A GIFT FROM THE INLAWS THAT HUA CHENG HAS NOW DJJDJDJDJDJDJFJDJD

A moment later, Xie Lian nodded slowly. “It’s mine. It’s a pair of pearls my father and mother gave me when I was young.”

Lol Ling Wen's punishment thooo and the subtle hint that Ling Wen may have acc cared for the dude despite everything kinda warms my heart

Ling Wen gave a small laugh. “Your Highness, don’t say it like I would do anything for him. After all, I’m cold-blooded and recognize no loved ones, so why would I do anything like that?”

“Is that right?”

“Let it be.

I love love love the way the passage of time was described here God I don't know how to explain it but I love it

People came like the tide, then left like the tide. Mount Taicang regained its deserted lonesomeness.

Atop Mount Taicang, there used to be an enormous field of maple trees. They were all burnt down by that massive fire, but reborn after a thousand years. They were no longer the same ones Xie Lian leapt through to train once upon a time, but the landscape was the same.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASAASASSMXKXKXJXNCJXNX AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

With three thousand Blessings Lanterns rising along with the night behind him, that man turned back and gazed at him. Robes redder than maple, skin as white as snow; between the brows of a face so handsome it couldn’t be stared at, there was still that wildness and a feral aura, a proudness that couldn’t be cut down.

There were no words. Both started walking towards the other.

A step, another step, each step faster than the next, then finally, they started running.

He ran forward whilst tears fell and stayed behind him. Xie Lian voiced this in his heart: he believed.

He believed that this man would die for him again and again, and would be reborn for him over and over. Even if he fell into the depths of hell, he would break through the abyss for his “belief”.

Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other.

This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.

DID I CRY HERE? U BET YOUR FUNKY LIL BEAN I DID And u don't get get AGUHH it took 1000 pages for them to get to where they were AND ONLY ONE PAGE TO MEET AGAIN THE ABSOLUTE POETIC METAPHOR HAS ME LOSING MY MIND u have to read through 244 chaps to see them trying to get to each other and when they finally do..it takes less than a page for them to reunite again I AM CRYING RN

The grand final banquet in Puqi shrine, with windmaster and the fellow beggars, he xuan secretly eating with them, fengqing arguing and bantering (flirting basically -_-), heaven's eye, hualian, the heavenly officials dropping by, just everyone finally living a happy life

What a story! Like what a story! Unbelievable!

This is how it started and this is how it ended

However, if people worship the divine statues of this one god and one ghost together, then there will be a miracle

Cuz their whole story is a miracle but that's the point! U can't give up! Xie Lian's story IS inspirational despite being fictional! Believing in your principles and doing the right thing, showing kindness no matter the circumstance, and growing from adversities, honestly I had so much to say but I read the post script and lmao MXTX said EVERYTHING I wanted to say!

-------------------

I'm always the kind to finish books within a day or two but I really didn't want this one to end (hence two years to read it) but God the whole experience was so incredible and tbh, I started documenting my thoughts for myself just so I can reread them later and laugh lmao but then a bunch of you guys kept up with it and it genuinely became such an exciting thing to look forward to after reading as well!!

Special shout out to @silvia-moon and @maause who were there from the beginning!! I loved every comment of yours and had a blast reading them every time 🥰

Ahhhh IM GETTING SO EMOTIONAL LIKE THIS LONG WINDING JOURNEY HAS FINALLY COME TO AN END 😭 (borderline tearing up while writing this post) but alas! Every banquet must come to an end (haha see what I did there? Hahaha....😭😭😭)

And of course there are the extras! But those shall be read some other day! In the meantime, I'm so so excited to get to drawing all my fave scenes!! I can't wait to get to that!

Until then,

Farewell 😊

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flowerflowerflo · 3 months

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ྀི ୨ embarrassment ୧ ྀི

...is a social construct designed to make us feel bad by those who cant handle their own mistakes & or shortcomings.

seriously. like. it baffles me how people are still living in the mindset where they let embarrassment become anything more for them than a concept.

୨୧ embarrassment

- a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness.

embarrassment is perfectly normal. it happens to everyone because we all make mistakes. but some people let embarrassment and the fear of embarrassment consume them and the choices they make far too much, far too often.

♡ which leads me onto my first point; it is completely normal. everybody makes mistakes. this is our first time in this life and we are all learning & growing with our every choice, every action, every decision <3 remember that the next time youre panicking and freaking out because you made a mistake.

♡ its never that deep. i like to try be gentle w this stuff but lemme tell u straight no one actually cares . im serious,, like babes no one gives a shit honestly 😭😭 and your mentality should be the same. people remember this stuff n laugh for 5 mins and then theyre back to their life. and if they hang on to it for longer then theyre the one who should be embarrassed.. get a life pls??

♡ similar to what i said a moment ago , its. never. that. deep. laugh it off !!!!! giggle !!!!!! laugh about it !!!!!!!! nobody cares !!!!!! this shows that it doesnt faze you and this shows how confident you are within yourself that you dont let silly little mistakes bother you because they do not matter.

♡ when it comes to your interests, please never be embarrassed about these. this is something ive struggled with since i was little but never never never be embarassed of the things that bring you joy. if they arent hurting anyone and are perfectly okay you should never be embarrassed ab that. it makes you happy. why should you be ashamed of that for someone else???🩷

♡ has someone ever said something to you? made u doubt urself? then you get embarrassed ab it???? dont. do not even go there. i ws so insecure before (i know😭😭) and couldnt hold a single opinion for myself but when you know who tf you are you wont be doubting yourself for anyone ml.

♡ so... you wanna pursue your dreams but ur too embarrassed. ur too embarrassed and worried "what if this doesnt work" "what if it doesnt happen" n whatever other dumb shit ur worried abt and scared to outgrow your surroundings and evolve. wow. you know how silly that sounds? so.. like.. let me get this straight... youre telling me... that youre not doing what you love... for the sake of someone else or some silly little doubts????wow. you get one life n youre doing that. GET IT TOGETHER BABES. GET REAL. WHY WOULD U SABOTAGE URSELF LIKE THAT????? YOURE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT LIKE 😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷

♡ understand that peoples perceptions of you are often reflections of themselves just like your perceptions of others are often reflections of yourself. they think its embarrassing because they know for a fact deep down that theyd be too embarrassed and self conscious to do it themselves.

♡ and then watch the way they'll all come crawling back apologising and grovelling the moment you're rich and successful and got everything you ever wanted.. all because you had the confidence to trust in yourself and pursue what you wanted without listening to their self doubts. <3

♡ reverse psychology. "why r u doing that" "thats so cringey" why r u so wrapped up in my business? thats so cringey

♡ overall, confidence, strong self concept & trusting in your ability to bounce back from anything are the three main things that will never let you wallow in this silly little emotion again. embarrassment is like a pitiful, more insignificant, ridiculous version of fear. if ur gonna be scared then b scared of something worth ur time babe ur more than that <33

#girlblogging #wonyoungism #it girl #pink pilates princess #self care #self improvement #thewizardliz #mindset #song jia #that girl #self concept #confidence #glow up era #dream girl #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog

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blacktinnedpeaches · 4 months

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less christmassy mental illness posting (not incredibly doomy or anything just also not huge festive)

think the OCD might have snuck in teh back door again in a way i didnt immediately recognise :) this seems to be a pattern every winter now + every year im like taken aback by the form it takes? like a few years ago it was "you are a lesbian x", at some point it was ruminating obsessively over my past bad actions, at some point it was obsessing over my relationship with ben and whether or not it was "perfect", and im not actually sure what it is this time?? i just feel similar as i usually do in an OCD flare but without the actual thoughts that i can make sense of?? if that makes sense??

this is going to sound slightly ridiculous (very ridiculous) to anyone who doesnt understand how random triggers can be but i think it might have been watching fellow travelers?? scream... i didnt even like it... i think the whole love story across the ages thing possibly set off my "perfect relationship" obsessive thoughts a bit without me really noticing (a few years ago i couldnt watch any lesbian content bc it panicked me so much bc i just could not stop the intrusive thoughts that i am a lesbian lmfao) as well as the fact it involves a man in a straight marriage when he's really gay + maybe this hit a few of my ocd buttons too, thinking about it for the first time as i literally type this post lol (yes im sure this is ocd btw, i feel like i should always make the clarification that this isnt legitimate lesbian questioning or anything, i know ive posted the same thing a few times over the years + i think everyone believes me lol but im just v aware its such an annoyingly plausible thing that happens all the time which im p sure is why my brain has gifted me with it. not to put too fine a point on it but i love dick / will happily put dick in my mouth and/or jerk it off / have watched gay porn bc men are sexy to me / never actually fantasise about women (or anyone, but that's a different thing lol) / my first crush was on a boy my age and i absolutely loved him lol / i love sex with ben + will initiate it a lot and definitely dont see it as a chore or something to get through. you know blah blah etc. its just one of those things) im also thinking it might have something to do with fellow travelers bc youtube kept recommending me fellow travelers shorts and every time i saw the show on my recs page i got distressed. i did notice this at the time but i was so baffled i wasnt really sure what to make of it so i just tried to ignore it bc what the actual fuck

tbf i was already not doing brilliantly before fellow travelers but maybe i should be a bit more careful about the themes of shit i watch in the winter when im always more vulnerable to insanity creeping in lol!! nothing about true love or gayness!!!!! or hiding said gayness!!!!!

god what a post!! im actually ok tonight like im not crying at my desk or anything. (i was a few nights back mind you) i was just musing. christmas

#take a day off mate it's christmas #me @ my brain

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compassionatereminders · 1 year

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I apologize for the upcoming rant, but I don't have anyone else to say this to.

I have an online friend who's dear to me. As a content creator, I love to promote their works in secret, even sending harmless rumors to get fans riled up, because their reaction is so endearing! I too used to create things but mental health tends to be an obstacle, but I will never stop supporting my friends.

However, recently I realized how said friend seems to ignore boundaries, and ignore me if my opinion isn't even slightly interesting to them. I unconsciously became a form of entertainment, only ever thinking of catering to their interests or else I will be disregarded. It reached to a point where I questioned my own identity. I actually (and painfully) confronted them about it, and as expected, it was difficult on both of us but we decided to move on.

My issue is that, I don't know if they truly understood the problem, because it's practically the same thing all over again now, except we rarely talk anymore. I know people express care in very different manners but being ridiculed in front of others for fun, or ridiculed for talking passionately about a subject you like as a joke sits wrong with me. They did this to other people, and i sort of fixed the situation after thry realized they were wrong. I sometimes feel like they only ever speal to me if i benefit them in a certain way. Their previous relationships say they put themselves on a high pedestal, and i feel thats so mean, but i cant help but understand the feeling. I compared them to a recent friendship I made, and the amount of compliments I receive, even if silly, exceed my other friend's, whom I've known for years.

They tend to blame themselves a lot, and so I'm worried about talking about this again and making them panic like last time, or whenever their other friendships end. I also worry that I'm the one who's overreacting (im autistic and i sometimes over analyze things), and that maybe I should just ignore things as I usually did and go do something productive for once. Be the bigger person, as they say.

Otherwise, thank you very much for listening to this mindless rant. I love your blog, take care <3

You don't owe anyone endless patience. Especially not people who aren't facing their issues and actively working on them. Blaming yourself and panicking to the point of changing the subject is not a constructive way to respond to valid criticism. Especially not if that's all which ever comes from it. In that case it is more likely to be manipulation - even if subconscious - than actual reflection and remorse. So if this "friend" is repeatedly treating you like shit and you aren't even able to start a constructive conversation about their behavior and how it's been affecting you, then it's probably time to take a step back.

#chat with kat #manipulation tw #guilt tripping tw

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 1 year

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Okay, so this is going to be the only post I make about this because I’m done, I’m just so done at this point.

If you don’t ship Daemyra or you don’t like Daemon, that’s cool! You are totally welcome to have your own feelings or opinions on the character and/or pairing, that’s valid. But I am a blog that posts a lot of Daemon and Daemyra, so if that’s not your boat and you really do not want to see it, you are welcome to ignore the posts, unfollow or block. That’s your right, you are totally welcome to decide what content you see and what makes you comfortable, I don’t want to make people uncomfortable.

But sending me nasty messages, both in DMs and in my asks, is taking it too far.

I’m not going to answer these individually because it’s a waste of time. It’s boring. Frankly I’ve got much better things to do nowadays. I’ve already had to go through several years of this before in a different fandom and I learnt the hard way that answering each and every one is silly, unhealthy even. I will make a blanket statement about this in general though, and it’ll be the only thing I write about it.

I don’t care what you ship, don’t ship, etc, if you’re resorting to doing something like using the r slur against an autistic person because of a FICTIONAL television show/fandom, you need to take a step back from online, from fandoms, and evaluate your life. There’s no way that you’re proving you’re right in any way if you do this.

As for the Matt Smith thing: for anyone unaware, yes, I have tickets for next month (3 weeks technically) to meet him at a London comic con. I paid a ridiculous amount of money for a bundle to guarantee a photo and autograph, and that’s on top of buying a ticket to actually get into the convention. As it is, I’m anxious about it because comic cons when you’re autistic and struggle with crowds/sensory issues is a NIGHTMARE. I don’t go to cons regularly because of that, it’s a literal hell for me. It’s so bad that I’ve had to convince my mostly-antisocial dad to come with me. I’ve also been tormenting myself and getting nervous over meeting him because I’m just anxious and nervous in general, and even though it’ll probably be a quick thing, it’s still huge. I’m scared he’ll be a dick or something, but also just because holy shit im gonna meet Matt Smith?!? Having this BS on top of my already panicking and freaking out brain is literally doing me no favours. I know none of these people care, they want to upset me, but genuinely I’m at the point where I’m debating selling both tickets (one for me, one for my dad) as well as the Matt Smith photo/autograph bundle because it’s making me ill and it’s not worth me losing anymore health over.

I literally just want to enjoy my little ship, the characters, the story of the book/show, maybe occasionally write one of my little fics. I don’t want to fight with anyone. It’s an escape from work and life, but at the end of the day, it’s fiction: it’s not real. It’s not worth getting this mad or argumentative over. Just let me ship my ship and enjoy reblogging gif posts please.

#how do I tag this?#personal #fandom discourse #fandom wank #re: anon hate

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victory-cookies · 6 months

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I had the worst, most murphy’s law, comedy of errors day today it was actually ridiculous. So last night I was feeling good. I was feeling motivated. I had put all of my laundry away immediately after getting it out of the dryer. Today was gonna be my day to turn my life around bc I felt motivated to clean to do homework to run my errands I was ready

and then I sleep through my fucking alarm.

okay, whatever, it’s fine. I had to go out to get shit for my Fionna costume so I decided to head out once I’d had breakfast. It wouldn’t take me much longer than an hour and I could come home and get right to my tasks.

so I’m at the fabric store, with a meter of fleece and some velcro, and I go to pay. And my debit card doesn’t fucking work no matter what I try. So I ask the woman if she could hold my stuff while I run to the atm to get cash. But the atm declines me too. I try to log onto my online banking and that doesn’t work either. At this point I assume I’ve been locked out of my card so I head back to the store, apologize, and tell her I need to drive to the bank about ten minutes away to try to get my card fixed. She says that that’s no problem and she’ll hold my stuff until the end of the day (they close at 5. It is currently 1:30)

so I head to the bank. The line is absurdly long but finally I get up to a clerk and am like “hey I think I’ve been locked out of my card please help” and so he checks and yeah I have, bc the two scholarship cheques I deposited yesterday had been flagged as “unusual and suspicious activity” and he says he’ll call and see if he can get it unlocked for me. We’re on hold for like fifteen minutes. At this point my sister has asked me to come pick her up from her friend’s. Finally this guy gets through and they’re like “lol we can’t do it unless she has the cheques there and you can verify” and obv I didn’t have them so he was like “well either you can go get the cheques and bring them in or you can wait until tomorrow when the photos will show up in the system and then your card will be unlocked”. I don’t want to do either of those things bc going home and coming back then going back to the fabric store would take another like two hours. So I say fuck it and go to pick up my sister with the intent of dragging her back to the fabric store and getting her to use her card.

at that moment it starts fucking bucketing. I start driving to her friend’s house and the road is nearly flooded I was so worried. And then as I’m heading out I end up directed onto the highway (highway driving makes me really anxious so I try to avoid it so I’m panicking). At this point the rain is coming down in sheets and I can’t see anything. Im about to cry. I exit the highway and then get directed onto another highway. The traffic is so bad that I can’t make it to the left turn lane and I miss my turn. I only barely make it to the next left turn and thank god I did bc if i didn’t I’d be on my way to the next town.

I get to my sister’s friend’s place and my sister gets in the car and I ask if we can go back to the fabric store and have her buy the poor fabric I have left cut and alone just sitting there (I felt bad. They had cut it for me already I needed to get it). She says no problem and so we head once more to the fabric store.

we pull up and the lights are off. It’s 3pm. They should not be closed. Confused, we get out and go to check, and they are in fact closed. A woman comes up to us and explains that THE FUCKING POWER WENT OUT IN THE ENTIRE MALL. They were closed for the day, along with every other store there, including the spirit halloween that I needed to go to as well and the a&w my sister wanted to grab food at

so we drive away. I have literally gained nothing from this. I have bought none of the things I needed to get. I have wasted so much gas. It is now 3:30 and I have done zero of the things I wanted to get done today. I was literally crying

#it’s almost funny how awful it was #Friday the 13th hit three days late #I was so frustrated tho like nothing was fucking going my way #Plus my card is still locked! For no fucking reason!#they didn’t even like. send me an email either like maybe tell me if you think smth sus is happening?#maybe tell me if you’re locking my card?#fuck man I’m so tired and I barely got anything done today

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doniisuar · 1 year

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Just got done talking to a friend about the Asian character they drew, they was yellow as FUCK and we kept tellin "hey!! This is pretty damn weird!! Why are they yellow??" And then he showed us the characters older design and it was even MORE yellow dude!! We kept tellin him they both yellow as fuck and then he started panicking saying "I'm not trying to be racist" and stuff and we were like "it's fine dude!! You just gotta make her not yellow, it's just colors, it's okay!!" But he panicked more saying "EVERYONE SAYS SHES YELLOW NO MATTER WHAT I DO. IM TIRED OF IT. SHUT THE FUCK UP" and then we shut up and I swear to god I could feel all of us staring at our phones in disbelief, nigga we just said to not make her yellow 😭😭

I swear to god people are WAY more afraid of being called racist than they are scared of actually *being* racist dude, it's a little ridiculous. I get not wanting to be a bad person and not wanting to be called a bad person but you really just gotta listen to people y'know??

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gi9get · 2 years

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here we go again, another entry for a boy

he doesn't spell his name with a k. everyone would spell Eric with a c but that is what makes it unique. had a blue nose pitbull named daisy. hopefully that's her name. he doesn't share alot. little by little I'm starting to notice an effort. he looks cute with his lunch pal sitting on the side of his hip. makes jokes here and there. nothing sexual which is good so far. if a guy makes sexual joke towards me or about me. he's fucking dead for all I care. anyways back with erik. I don't get that certain stomach pain when I get nervous whenever I'm around him. it's more of a heart beating so fast, I can probably shit it out. or that exaggerated heart beating out of the chest cartoon style type of jazz. it's hard to look at him from times. I do like it when we steal glances from each other. like in the movies when the two main lovers spot each other for the first time. that's how it feels. I've always said I wanted my love life to be like a romantic film. I'm over my head with that one. falling in love with someone I barely know is ridiculous and outrageously terrifying. [edit: THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I LEARN FROM MY OLD SELF. WHY TF AM I TELLING MYSELF I DON'T DESERVE LOVE LIKE IN A ROMATIC FILM. IM ALL ABOUT THAT SHIT. I WANT A LOVE LKKE TOM HOLLAD AND ZENDAYA. LOVE AFFIRMATIONS, PHYSICAL LOVE LANGUAGE ETC ETC. I DESERVE LOVE, I REALLY TRULY BELIEVE IN ROMATIC-STRONG-BOLD-HONESTY ETC ETC LOVE..NO MATTER WHAT. I DESERVE TO LOVE MYSELF. THAT SETTLES IT] I told myself to take my time. actually get to know someone the right way. don't jump in the pool without a floaty knowing dam well you can't swin. I'm stopping myself to not talk about anything sexual. I know how I get when I'm high and man it sucks that I fall down that rabbit hole of just giving myself up like that so easily. like just bc u did something with a dude doesn't mean he's gonna sweep you off ya feet. if I don't give it up, they'll run away. I thought like that for a while. sucks to think that way. but ppl made it seem that way. how a woman should get a man. nah I don't have respect towards my body to even play like. I don't want to be that girl. being myself has been wonderful lately. I can feel that I'm different and it's only the beginning towards my truthful self. I'm getting bigger and bigger with every moment I have. I'm loving this new me. it feels amazing. I'm still growing and I learned alot from my past self. take time. I will take my time. I go at my own pace. I always get carried away whenever I talk about myself 💅🏿 I'm just that fabulous

anyways. back to erik. what really spark my interest of him is when I showed Jo Yuri Glassy to him and he called her song calming...CALMING HE DIDN'T SAY "oh how can you listen to that when you don't understand" just someone being ignorant BUT HE WASNT LIKE THAT AT ALL. HE WAS CURIOUS AND WANTED TO KNOW. at first I was bit nervous to show him. I panicked trying to find the song to show him. I'm surprise I didn't show him BTS 🤔. asking me what type of music I listen to refreshing to hear. like okay 15 question. gosh and when he says good morning to me my heart kinda do back flips lol. maybe I'm being delusional....NAH I AIN'T DELUSIONAL THIS MF GON ASK ME "so is their a special one" JUST RIGHT AFTER I HAD A CONVERSATION WITH GABE ABOUT IF I WAS SEEING SOMEONE BC OF THE WIG. so he was listening to our conversation....you sneaky dog 🤫. so when erik said that, my immediate response was "nobody, is just all me" nice fucking answerrrrrrrrrr I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR SAYING THAT. I'm not going in circles. I notice i tend to follow them like a puppy and I'm 22 I look stupid. so I'm keeping my distance cuz god whenever I have a crush I want to see them everyday and don't lose sight of them. fucking weird right! I need to slow down. this ain't no race. I don't want to have any doubts to myself cuz man oh man I was having doubts. like nitpicking the smallest details of someone tone of voice and resulting that into negatively. like I'm replying the moments in my head I had with him just for me to focus on what I did wrong and how can I make it better. like I got so tired of that. LIKE GIRL JUST BC HE DIDN'T GREET YOU WITH A "hi mate" DOESN'T MEAN HE HATES ME. girl go get a therapist, you being stupid rn. erik is cute. he does give me a secretive vibe. [edit:ouuu my own little 007...see I'm already claiming him GIRL HE ISNT YA MAN SIT YA LONELY ASS DOWN 🗣] ouuuu a mysterious guy 🤭 turns out he's a fucking killer. NAH MAN BUT WHENHE LOOKS AT ME I CLINCH MY ASS SO HARR AND I BE TRYNA NOT TO FART CUZ I GET SO NERVOUS. LIKE INWOILD SHIT ON THE FLOOR MAN 😔.

I hope he passed the test he took on that thrusday. omfg he runs after work too. alot ppl are getting fit. bravo to those who changing themselves in a healthy manner. it takes energy to be motivated to work our everyday. dedication as well too.

omfg as I'm scrolling to see how much I jot down about Erik. it seems like a calm approach.

mmmm...the universe is tryna give a message 🤔

I never doubted the universe ✨️

HE IS SO CUTE AND FUCKING HAIRY OMFG SND HE GOT A BIG NOSE AHHHHHH I DO WANT TO SIT ON IT. man doja is right. BUT HIM BEING HAIRY IS SOOOO ATTRACTIVE TO ME, THAT WHAT MAKES HIM GOOD. OOOOOOOO[OOOOOOO

#post

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kakubun · 3 years

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what if you were their personal helper?

a/n: im biased on all of these because basically you're special to them in a type of way

part 2

warnings: chapter 189-206 spoilers‼‼, suggestive, violence mentions

sanzu

you would be his personal cook that mikey assigned

you really worked hard at making the best dishes for sanzu (1. 50/50 chance of getting killed because you might never know with his pill popping ass and 2. you don't want to purposely mess up good ingredients)

sanzu though, really loves your dishes

he would say horrendous compliments like how he was about to have an orgasm biting into the steak minutes ago (rindou looks up at him from his laptop in disgust while ran scoffs in amusement)

ran suggested to maybe gift you something or pay a visit to whoever is cooking his meals and damn well sanzu was thrilled to hear that idea and was ready to work on it

(the haitani brothers thought the same, that you were probably going to shit your pants if bonten's number 2 suddenly appeared right beside you out of nowhere)

the very next day, his preffered time of lunch was much more later than the others so it's pretty normal for the others to not see him at the table and knowing that he's doing his own business

but this is completely different than what he usually does, he's looking for you! and there you were, in the flesh and busy preparing his meal

you look rather panicked, oh how many guesses he had. it was near his lunch time, you cooked the wrong meal, you're panicking about the slighest things or you thought you were doing it wrong

turns out you just wanted to cut the right size of tomatoes because you cut one ridiculously large chunk so you huffed and picked another tomato and nearly laughed at your stupidity

well sanzu was correct in some ways but you were just minutes away in finishing so he watched

with every second he stepped closer and the closer he got which was just right over your shoulder, you squeled because 1) creepy and 2) his breath was tickling your neck that you just had to make noise

you grabbed your wrist and your finger bled, in the state of suprise you accidently cut your thumb, luckily it was only a little so you rushed to the sink to wash it off

sanzu had a smile on his face, oh woops accidently shocked a poor person by breathing on them so the best he could do was offering a bandaid that was in his pocket

you glanced at his arm and saw the bonten tattoo inked on it so your eyes lit up in fear in why a bonten member is up infront of you

you gulped and he couldn't help but giggle to how terrified you looked and he twirled the plate that his food on it

"you're almost finished with my food, huh? quickly, you have a few seconds" you looked at him again but with genuine curiousity and suprise that said "sanzu haruchiyo? what is he doing here?"

your thoughts swirled in your head in chaos, finishing up his food and the waiter that were to take his food entered the kitchen

he froze in the doorway, recognizing the feared bonten 2 and sanzu asked him to go away by simply motioning it with his hand as well as adding in a "if you don't go, i'll kill you" by doing a slashing motion across his neck, you did not know how fast the waiter walked out of there

sanzu carried his plate towards the table your partners and you ate at and sat there, tilting his head when you stayed at the same spot

"sit here, i wanna talk" shitting your pants is a understatement, dying should be the right term

but no worries when you sat down, he smiled again with his eyes closed (though you're not sure what kind of smile was this, his rare ones? because if it is then you can make it out of here without being out in a grave)

let's just say he was interested in you and he said quite some nice words to you, this won't be the first time he'll crash into your life and have moments of talking to you after all, you're his cook right?

you're just lucky enough when he decides that you're one of the few pieces he'll cherish in his life, one he wouldn't kill but respect deeply and stick around with

kokonoi

you were his respectable assistant that deals with errands, well a more better term is a spy

you listened to conversations about bonten in the dark and sneak off to inform the others, first of all koko of course

your relationship between him was proffesional and all, reporting about what bonten enemies have said, nod and leave

but there was a time where he finally got to know you a bit better

you were a bit later than the time he asked for you to come to his office after your work, about 10 minutes atleast and he raised his eyebrow at you when you slipped into his office out of breath but quickly regain it as to not piss him off any further

"sorry sir, i got attacked" attacked you say? he got up from his seat, slowly approacing you and you sweat

overall his demeanor was cocky and all but you've never seen a scary side so supposingly it's okay for you to not feel threatened but would he really be angry at you for getting attacked?

"i don't see any bruises on you, did you really get attacked?" that sly grin showcased itself, he felt the taste of a lie coming but it didn't when you spoke up again

"i fought back sir, with this." you pulled out the staff, pressing the button to open it and twirled it over for him to see

it was the staff he gave, well actually showed off when he opened the weapons room, telling you to atleast get a weapon to defend yourself, if you can even though (he halfly joked at the end with his tongue out)

you told him that it was the gang that was still gaining these "leaks and secrets" or so to speak, are the ones rindou falsely put out in the open and the gang planned to go to one of the secret bases that bonten usually went to

besides what you say is necessary information but he circled around you in silence and decided to try to hit your head but you smack his hand away with the staff

he went for your neck but you swiftly wack the staff into his waist and he groaned, impressed

he was about to say something but sanzu interrupted by opening the door without knocking and almost bumped koko with the door

"heheh sorry, can i borrow your assistant, come come~" sanzu sung out but koko shooed him away, wanting some time to talk to you but pink crazed bastard wanted to talk to you so he shut the door on him and yelled at him to go away for a moment

after that day, more people seem to recognize and fought with you

it would pretty ironic if koko were to be the one ordering them to attack you

" i wanna see you fight more" whatever he says, you just hope it actually isn't him sending mofos to attack you because that would be a d!ck move

but he didn't, one of the bonten members revealed that a little spy is watching them from above like the idiots they were that they bumbled out their secrets for the spy to hear (guess who)

so he rewards you, after the hell you went through, you better be gifted

extra!!:

"may i measure you?" you looked back at the person in shock as they smiled warmly at you and you suspiciously glared at them, reaching slowly for your staff.

"sir kokonoi has asked to measure you." they went to stretch out the measuring tape and held it around your waist, you hesitated on holding up your shirt because of how ticklish and feathery their fingers were. this was all too sudden but you go along with it.

while you twist your shirt up, they placed a note in your back pocket and you questioned on why did they do that, you reached it while they're measuring your legs.

"i'll send someone in to measure your size for your clothing, do you also want lingerie to be part of your gift too?~" the note said and you nearly stumbled into the tailor when you tried rereading it all over again.

"what colour do you want? do you want a matching set?" "no!!"

(koko's probably pissing himself right now, trying to imagine your panicky expression, laughing like a maniac in his office)

ran

you worked as his personal maid and he admired how careful you were

you were pretty noticeable since you took your time on one thing at a time like dusting off shelves and cupboards for a long moment or scrubbing away at the dirt in the plate that stuck too long there (i mean it's reasonable but you stressed over it for a few minutes)

he approached at some times to check on you and he would smile sadistically at times when you look at him like a deer in headlights, wondering what you did wrong to make him approach you himself

he just wanted to praise and point out some of your habits which you rubbed your neck to and nodded to do better next time

it also gave him a chance to see your stretched arm and your hands, especially your knuckles more better than afar (not in a creepy way)

your knuckles were deep red and would have cuts over it and he would leave at that but it got too much for him whenever he came to you and it kept getting worse

he popped the question when you moved his flowers into a pot to sit in the sun when your hands were all bandaged up

"why has the condition of your hands worsen everytime i come to you?" so he did notice, you sighed and told him the truth while you rubbed your bandaged knuckles

"people are picking on me so hitting their faces makes my knuckles hurt and become ugly each time i return back here" he was suprised that you even used your fists and he held your hands and spoke softly

"you didn't use the baton i gave you?" you feel yourself burn, you had to pull away from him and you wanted to jog off into the sun but you akwardly shrugged instead

"i'm a lot more used to using fists to fight plus i.. might have hit my face with the baton once" his laugh was sugary sweet, the rarest you've ever heard but he was laughing at your mistake so you bit your tongue and fumed, going back to arranging his flowers (that he's probably allergic to but keeps them around cause they're pretty💀)

he patted your shoulder, casually correcting himself that it was cute that atleast you did try to use the baton that he lended to you

"i'll teach you, every evening at around 4, i'll train you to use the baton so it's less work for your fists and more for your baton." you responded that mikey had his meal around that time and you had to clean the table cloth after he eats, shyly you admit that he tends to be a little messy when eating

ran smiled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and going off after insulting you one last time

"i'm impressed that you're more careful with the table cloth than your own hands" and that ends the evening with you screaming into your hands because of how frustating, ran haitani bonten executive was

extra!!:

"now i really need you to be honest with me, how do you even fight with your fists?" "your brother teaches me how to break their limbs but i accidently graze the floor sometimes because of how tough the enemy is"

well that was pretty shocking, he looks at you with suprise in his eyes, you also looked at him suprised, you just didn't know how expressive he was and you're finding out about them because of these 4pm sessions.

"doesn't he have a maid that helps him out?" "he says i make great coffee" ran grumbled that you shouldn't even serve a fucker who drinks coffee in the first place and you couldn't help laughing. in exchange for the love of coffee, rindou might as well train you. he's not blind, he sees the bruises on your hands when you return back to the headquarters.

(and to maybe trigger ran a little since he was the one mainly teaching reader his fighting style and not ran and his lame ass baton and he just stole his maid for a few seconds, might as well train them as a reward)

"show me a better compliment and i might stop serving him" "you're good with your hands" you smirked and got up and tapped his shoulders with the baton, teasing him into giving you more compliments

"shut it now before i use my hands to shut you up" "you may at anytime" and he did, now you can imagine what he did lol

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crowning-art · 2 years

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TGCF SPOILERS!! LOTS OF THE THEM

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WOOOAAHH this was one hell of an emotional rollercoaster, I know I will fangirl for some parts but mostly I'm going to be focusing on plot cuz DAMNNN

Firstly,

Xie Lian smiled cheerfully at him. “That’s not entirely true. Our team’s San Lang might be extremely lucky, but my luck is extremely bad. With the two combined, one good one bad, don’t we cancel each other out?”

IM IN TEARS, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, THIS IS- THIS IS- OMG THIS IS WHAT THEY DID FOR ONE ANOTHER FROM THE START, YKNOW THE WHOLE HUA CHENG BEING BORN UNDER THE STAR OF BAD OMEN (OR SMT SIMILAR, I CANT REMEMBER THE EXACT NAME) AND XIE LIAN BEING THE ONE TO REMOVE THE OMEN, IM CRYING THIS IS LITERALLY THE SAME THING I CANT

LMAO the truth and dare game was hilarious cuz I did NOT expect Shi Qingxuan to pull the classic teenager dare of stripping someone's clothes, but like HUA CHENG WAS SUCH A GENTLEMAN, IM BACK TO CRYING also very interesting to note that although Xie Lian couldn't tell what Hua Cheng was thinking at that time, I imagine he actually wasn't too happy with the situation since it wasn't smt that Xie Lian had wanted and seemed 'comfortable' with (Imao tho I think he totally didn't mind lol) but at the same time, Hua Cheng might have been kinda happy as indicated by him messing up the dice roll to make them lose on purpose AGAIN, even when he wasn't supposed to? Really interesting insight into Hua Cheng's thoughts. I feel like from what I've read thus far, Hua Cheng flickers between loving Xie Lian and hating himself (although these feelings seem quite dramatic, he often dances in between that spectrum, occasionally landing on one end or the other)

In between all that, this happens...

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.”

Uuuuhhhhhh the truth and dare questions.....uhhhhh

Except unless Shi Wudu and Shi Qingxuan were not real blood brothers, but such an unbelievably shocking turn of events shouldn’t be possible

Are you...trying to...hint at...something?

This part lol

In that moment of urgency, he turned to Hua Cheng. “San Lang, lend me a bit of spiritual power, I’ll pay you back later!”

I thought they were gonna...yknow.... lmao, I totally forgot there were other ways to pass spiritual power lol

THE WAY I PANICKED WITH EVERYONE WHEN MING YI WAS LIKE, "UHHH NO, I DIDN'T TAKE WINDMASTER WITH ME?!?!?"

- I LOVE THIS PART SO MUCH, you don't understand, THIS IS SO CUTE IBDWIBWIOUBFDWB

I really, really enjoy the snippets of Old Xie Lian slipping through, like the way he fought the Reverend of Empty Words.

Anyways, I'm like dead tired, BUT I REALLY HAD TO STOP IT AT A CLIFFHANGER, DIDN'T I? LITERALLY AT THE PART WHERE THEY REACH THE PAVILLION AND THE DOOR THAT IS VERY CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO BE SEALED IS CRACKED OPEN jnfwjkfbwkfb but ya, the plot is getting so good and the Reverend of Empty Words seems like he's either really good at his job, or he actually seems to have something personal with the windmaster. I wonder if it has anything to do with Shi Wudu, LIKE maybe it's his third calamity??? Or someone's getting back at him through the wind master??? I dunno, just speculations but ugh, anticipating the next few chapters sbsiskkskskdkd

But also really thinking about whether wind and water master are actually brothers or not....

OMG AND ALSO THE SECOND ACSENSION???? WHAT HAPPENDD??? WHY DOES XIE LIAN REGRET IT?????

(Plz no spoilers, I just speculate and question for fun and not to get a real answer lol)

#tgcf #tgcf spoilers #heaven's official blessing spoilers #heaven's official blessing #tian guan ci fu #xie lian #hua cheng #hualian #tgcf journey #shi qingxuan #ming yi #ch 108-111

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belovabelova · 3 years

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Little Darling | Part Two

Fanfic Summary: A young girl falls for her stepdad’s best friend, Steve Rogers.

Pairing: dad’s best friend! Steve Rogers x original female character

Word Count: 1012 words

Fanfic Warnings: Graphic descriptions of sex and various sexual acts, age gap relationship (16 years), mentions and descriptions of suicide and self-injurious behavior (eating disorders and self-harm), mental illness, death or dying, physical violence, and blood.

Chapter Warnings: This chapter contains mentions of suicide and descriptions of self-mutilation.

Notes: I’m also posting this fanfic on Wattpad. I hope you enjoy!

(Part One)

I still don't understand what happened to me when my father passed away.

The day I went back to school, I was forced to talk to a counselor. When he asked me how I was doing, I told him that it felt like I'd been tied to an anchor and it was pulling me under. He said that it was normal to feel that way. According to him, what I was experiencing was grief.

Except I hadn't told him the complete truth.

I didn't feel heavy, and I didn't feel like I was plummeting to the bottom of the sea. I actually felt okay considering my dad shot himself only a month before.

Nonetheless, another month passed and I broke. It felt like a demon sucked a portion of my soul out of my body. I refused to get out of bed or shower, and I binged and purged on food. The tears wouldn't stop falling. Everything inside of me hurt. I was an empty shell.

And then, after a while, things seemed to get better.

The problem was, no matter how many times things seemed to get better, they would always get bad again. It was beyond frustrating. I wasn't strong enough to handle it.

A few months after I lost my dad, I started planning my own funeral.

That's what I think about on my drive home from work.

Once I realized that I didn't want to live anymore, I spent many sleepless nights researching burial methods, looking up how to draft my own will, and searching for the most effective means of ending my life. Guns were too violent, rope was too unreliable, and jumping from some sort of height was too terrifying, so I decided an overdose would be my best bet.

I like to think my boyfriend saved me, but not because he stopped me from taking the pills.

We actually got into a massive argument over something ridiculous. It made me hysterical.

After kicking Liam out of my house and telling him that I never wanted to see him again, I found myself in the bathroom with a razor. I took my frustrations out on my wrist, slashing at my left arm in a fit of rage.

After dropping the razor in the sink and staring down at the blood pouring from my veins, panic started to set in. I was killing myself, but it wasn't supposed to happen that way. I wasn't ready yet. The wounds stung and it was messy— everything was too messy. I screwed up and the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted my mom.

With horrified tears welling in my eyes, I pressed a towel to my mangled arm, but the blood quickly soaked through the material.

I started choking on my breath.

Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out my phone and managed to text Liam.

Im bledding amd I sont know wjat to do

He was driving home, but he called me as soon as I sent the message. "Emma, what's going on?" he asked, sounding panicked.

I fumbled with my phone, but once I managed to put it on speaker, I dropped it in the blood-soaked sink. "I— I cut myself, and it won't— it won't stop bleeding," I managed through heavy sobs. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, and I'm scared."

"Fucking shit," he cursed. "I'm turning around. Do you need an ambulance?" As he stepped on the gas pedal, I could hear the engine of his car work a bit faster.

Grabbing another towel, I pressed it into my arm. It hurt like something fierce, but I figured it would somehow stop the bleeding.

"I don't— I don't know," I cried, too terrified to call for emergency services. "I'm going to be sick."

Liam kept questioning me, but I started muttering under my breath, cursing myself out for being so stupid. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I knew my brain was fucked.

As I pull into the driveway of my house, I try to push the traumatic memory out of my mind.

Steve comes into view, offering me a good distraction. He's under the hood of Bucky's truck without a shirt on. He looks like some sort of heavenly creature.

Glistening with sweat and covered in dirt, he lifts his head and offers me a short wave. After turning off my vehicle, I step outside and he meets my eyes. "Where have you been?" he asks.

I stop beside him and start playing with the keys in my hand. "Work."

"Where's that?"

"The library in town," I tell him.

Glancing down at the engine of Bucky's truck, he presses his lips together and smiles. "What do you do there? Reshelve books?" he asks, amused by something— I'm not sure what.

I cross my arms. "Among other things. Why? Are you looking for a job?" I joke.

Putting his hand on top of the hood, he closes it gently and chuckles. "Not exactly," he says, wiping at the sweat on his forehead. "I was just curious."

I hum under my breath. "Are you done with the truck?"

"For now." He walks down the driveway to dump his stuff in the bed of the vehicle.

As he lifts a heavy box of tools, his arms flex and I melt.

"That's good," I say with a smile, not bothering to hide the fact that I'm checking him out.

He turns to face me. "I'd like to go take a quick shower. Do you mind if I do it here? I won't be long. I just don't want to get in my car like this," he says, gesturing to his body. "I'm kind of a mess."

"No, that's completely fine," I tell him, eyeing his torso. "You can use the shower in Bucky's bathroom, if you want. I'm sure he won't care."

"Great," he replies, offering me a handsome smile. "Thanks."

(Part Three)

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bunnyywritings · 3 years

Text

a shy, goth s/o who goes by they/them pronouns

requested by anon; HIII!! I recently started watching soul eater and i finallyyy found someone who writes for them so im reallllly exited!! So i wanted to request something!! Can you do like how Crona, Kid, Soul and Stein would be like in a relationship with a shy goth s/o who uses they/tem prounons (sometimes she). Also when they talk about the things they like they get superrr extroverted and could talk for hourss about it! Also would it heart to ask if you could make cronas a lil longer, they are my comfort character🤧Also wanted to ask if you did emergency requests! If you dont that’s totally fine!!

[a/n: thank you for this request, my lovely anon! It gave me the way to get back into a writing flow again. I quite enjoyed writing for these characters since I don’t get very many Soul Eater requests, as for emergency requests...go ahead and send them in but I apologize if I don’t get it done quickly, seeing as I’m not quite that active on here like I was before. for now, enjoy! - yours truly, bunnyy -`ღ´-]

- truthfully, i think he'd be a little confused at first

- about the whole pronouns thing

- despite being friends with Crona

- so, he'd approach Maka, Crona, and Subaki about it

- he'd be a little embarrassed because he mistakenly exposed his HUGE crush on you

- Subaki coos at him and thinks it's sweet

- Crona is glad to help, knowing that using they/them pronouns is still a foreign concept for some people

- Maka would definitely tease him but ultimately, she's glad he had asked for help

- after realizing that it was a rather simple concept to understand

- he'd get SOOO cocky

- he absolutely loves your style

- obviously thinks you're the coolest person to ever exist

- now the only thing in his way??

- your shyness

- he's only interacted with you a few times but because he tends to be a bit abrasive, you usually keep your distance

- the few times that Stein had called on you in class to answer a question was the most he's really heard you talk

- you were good friends with Kid though

- so you ended up hanging out with the group a lot

- he's seen how passionate you could get whilst talking about your hobbies or about things you liked to Kid or Liz

and Patty

- it made him a gajillion times more attracted to you

- after FINALLY gaining the courage to ask you out (you can thank Black Star for telling him that it wasn't cool to be such

a wimp)

- he'd be on cloud nine

- being in a relationship with Soul would be fun

- he'd be a little awkward at first but he'd soon ease into it

- he's really good at respecting your pronouns

- in the case that he slips up, which i don't really think he would, but if he does he'd feel absolutely terrible

- like he'd beat himself up so hard

- he would do anything to make it up to you

- 100% would cook you a super nice dinner as an apology

- if anybody ever made fun of your style or your pronouns, it's over for that person

- they'd have, not only Soul and Maka on their ass, but they'd have Black Star and Tsubaki, AND the literal son of the grim

reaper and his twin pistols

- overall, Soul would be such a sweetheart

- you make him so, so soft

- gosh i love him so much

- okay

- Kid is definitely somebody who would be up front with his feelings

- he knows about your use of different pronouns and he really admires your bravery to be so open about it

- i feel like he's definitely thought about going by he/they pronouns

- thinks it's absolutely adorable how shy you are

- despite being shy and closed off, he never overlooked you like some students or other staff

- he knows how clever you are

- don't even get me started on your style

- he love love loves your goth style

- especially when you wear anything with skulls on it

- when it comes to his feelings, Liz gets fed up with how ridiculous he's being

- she's watched him break down crying because the stripes on his head aren't symmetrical and someone as precious as you

would think he's trash

- which obviously isn't true

- he sees you out on the balcony, sat on the ledge and book in hand

- he's noticed you with it a lot but it's only the 1st book of a series

- he figures that maybe you just haven't had the chance to find the rest of them

- after some research, he finds that the series had been completed but because of the lack of readers, it was put out of

production and copies were pulled out of libraries and bookstores

- but alas, he had found one of the only complete series in existence in somewhat excellent condition

- it was quite expensive but that was really no problem

- he had wrapped up the set and had gifted them to you with a note and as you read the note, your cheeks burned

- he confessed his feelings

- the next day, you had approached him and thanked him for the gift as well as confessing your own feelings for him

- he thought the stuttering and flushed cheeks was adorable

- 100% the power couple at the DWMA

- sorry i don't make the rules

- Liz and Patty are definitely in love with you, especially with how versatile your fashion is

- Patty has definitely volunteered to paint your nails before

- MATCHING RINGS

- Kid definitely gets you a et of skull rings, just like his

- will go beast mode on anyone who makes fun of your style and/or use of pronouns

he's be such a gentleman and he practically worships the ground you walk on

- as he should

- Stein would be quite used to the use of they/them pronouns since he has students who go by them

- when there's word of a new teacher at DWMA who goes by they/them, he's quite intrigued

- so much so that he would volunteer to show you around the enormous school

- 10/10 falls in love with you instantly

- your shy demeanor is such a contrast to your style

- definitely lives for teasing you

- anything to make you stutter

- but he'd be very blunt about his feelings

- he makes sure that you're being respected by students and staff alike

- threatens anybody who doesn't

- he gets you some screw earrings or a necklace (if you don't have piercings)

- it's his way of making sure people know that you're his

- Stein would be an excellent significant other

- he's a bit more on the playful side so just always be prepared for cheeky remarks

- he doesn't mind your shyness at all

- since he doesn't really favor going out too much so most of your dates are in doors, his place or yours

- probably with a cup of coffee and a book

- he can be sweet when he wants to

- isn't really into pda but i wouldn't be too surprised if he had a moment of spontaneity and pull you into his arms and

kiss you passionately

- some students think it's romantic and others definitely tease the both of you

- since your social battery probably runs out pretty quick, he loves that it gives him an out from tiring staff get

togethers

- Death Scythe thinks it's absolutely HYSTERICAL to make fun of Stein's moments of softness

- but ultimately, he thinks the way Stein looks at you is sweet and makes him happy that his friend has found someone like

you

- cause you're the best

- duh

- his wardrobe has infinitely improved since the both of you got together

- all thanks to you

- overall 15/10 a good significant other

- ahh Crona, sweet sweet Crona

- they're the freaking cutest

- now i know that in the anime and manga, it's written that he uses he/him pronouns but it seem like on tumblr everyone has

just settled on using they/them instead because of Crona's androgynous style and frankly it's a bit of an unclear area

- so uhhh yeah, let's get started

- Crona would have trouble admitting that they had feelings for you, so they tries to hide it but alas, Maka had caught on

- it took Soul a bit longer to realize but he eventually did

- the group had caught on and thought it was adorable

- all of them had tried to help in any way they could

- but Crona just couldn't muster up the courage to tell you

- the both of you were quite shy so it was nearly impossible to get some type of interaction between the two of you

- Crona also really loved your style

- the both of you were similar in so many ways

- Black Star had actually been the one to let it slip that Crona had harbored some kind of affection for you

- Tsubaki had smacked him upside the head and chastised him since it wasn't his place to say anything

- but now that it was out in the open, it had given you the slight confidence boost you needed to confess

- but when you did, Crona just stood frozen, almost mortified by your words

- you took it as rejection and ran off into the woods surrounding the school campus

- Ragnarok had then made an appearance and started tugging at Crona's cheeks and telling them that they should go after you

- but of course, they hadn't

- instead, turning to Maka and Tsubaki for help

- the two had taken it upon themselves to look for you and clear up any misunderstandings

- the next day, Crona had approached you and apologized

- even though they're words were stuttered, you appreciated the gesture and asked Crona on a proper date

- they accepted before panicking because it had dawned on them that they had never been on a date before

- overall, Crona is such a sweet partner

- sure, a bit unexperienced but sweet nonetheless

- they try their best

- both of you have similar styles and everyone thinks the both of you are just the most adorable couple on campus

- Crona loved hearing you talk about the things you loved

- your eyes would sparkle and you'd move your hands so animatedly

- it's almost like you're a different person in that moment

- they just adored you

- they'd get upset if someone had disrespected your pronouns

- Ragnorak would definitely rage if someone disrespected you

- as much as he hated to admit it, he really really liked you

- mainly because you always carried sweets around for him

- ugh I just love Crona

#soul eater #soul eater x reader #soul eater evans x reader #death the kid x reader #professor stein x reader #crona gorgon x reader #crona x reader #x gn!reader #anon request #lovely anon #anon ask

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