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andhumanslovedstories · 3 months

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Hey so your post about pain management as a bedside nurse is so important to my own nursing practice that I've considered printing it out so I can have it to hand all the time. So thanks for that. Also, how do you deal with assignments that are busy enough that pain management is harder than it should be? I'm coming up on two years as a nurse and I feel like I take it personally when I am too busy to adequately manage my patients pain. I'm also coming from a newly unionized hospital where the ratios are still horrendous (I do 1:10 on med surg) and I'm hoping once we can enforce our staffing grids it'll be better but idk I'm burning out and I love my job so much and I really respect your nursing philosophy? I guess. Sorry for the word vomit it's been a crazy shift.

I've been trying to think of how to answer this since I got it. It's just such a horrendous ratio. With ten patients a shift, that's like six minutes an hour for each in a fantasy world where there's no charting and everything is exactly where you need it to be. I feel like I don't have great insight into this because the most med surg patients I've had assigned is five. Ten patients to one nurse is just a raw deal for everyone. Like christ no wonder you feel like you're burning out! I'll give you what thoughts I have and hopefully other people can chime in if they have suggestions. But that's such a hard patient load.

When I've been super swamped, I've found that's when being really explicit about your thinking with the patient helps. Like if I have to dash into a room and then dash back out, I'll make sure the board is updated with the next medication time and that the patient knows when the medication is going to kick in. I'll also provide call light parameters. I have a lot of success telling people, "the med should be doing something by 5:30. If I haven't checked in with you by then, and the pain is unchanged or barely changed, hit your call light and we'll try the next step. Also hit your call light if you feel any sudden change, like now you're nauseated or you have a headache or the type of pain changes or something just feels very wrong. Is there anything you need before I step out of the room?"

I like to be explicit about when to call me because I think there's two directions call light usage can go wrong: someone calls all the time, or someone never calls. With someone who calls all the time, I find that telling them when I'll be back and that I want them to call me if I'm not takes away some of that anxiety that can causes some people to call frequently. Often those patients are afraid that if they aren't on the call light, they're gonna get ignored.

For the other type of patient, the one that doesn't call, I want to make explicit that it's GOOD AND NORMAL TO CALL YOUR NURSE WHEN YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS. We've all had that patient at the end of shift who goes, "btw the gnawing pain in my leg is now a 10/10" and you're like "what gnawing pain sir?? you've literally never mentioned it before now?? I don't have any meds for that lemme page super quick????" These patients can get into pain crises easily because they don't ask for help until something is unbearable. In addition to pain crisis bad, it takes a lot more time to deal with something unbearable than it does to deal with something uncomfortable.

On that note, are you spending your very limited time efficiently? To me, that actually means spend more time talking with patients, at least up front. Manage expectations, make sure people know what to expect. Having conversations with patients that are like, "You just had surgery, it's not gonna happen that we get you completely painless. We want to get you to a manageable pain level that allows you to do whatever it is you most want to do this shift." (For me on nights, that's usually sleeping at least a little, but sometimes the realistic goal you make together is that you will feel at some point better than you feel right now.) "You have this medication scheduled, and you have this one available every X hours when your pain is severe. Is there anything you know that helps you deal with pain?"

Also establish if patients want to be woken up for certain prn medications or if they're sleeping, to let them sleep. With some patients, I will advise them to get woken up for pain medication because I know that they're going to need consistent control to avoid a crisis. (Crises take so much time!)

When I'm crunched for time, I'm fond of bringing in an ice pack and being like "if it works, great, if it doesn't, just take it off, either way here it is." Sometimes I'll do the same with a warm blanket. If I know my patient needs to take pills, I'll bring a cup of water with me into the room. If there's a basic prn like melatonin or tylenol that I think they might want, I'll pull them in advance. If the patient doesn't want them, I return them next time I'm in the med room. (Obviously, don't do this with controlled substances. It's super easy to forget to return them, and not returning opioids is one of those whoopsies people get fired over.)

Decision making takes time. Walking to go get stuff takes time. I want to save the time it takes to assess if the patient needs those things and then walk off to fetch them by just having the things already. If your tightest resource is time, be liberal with resources you can spare. If you're stuck with a patient, do you have anyone you can delegate a prn med pass to? Do you know how to do the absolute minimum charting you need to? Do you have flushes and alcohol wipes and whatever other most common things you need? And since you can't hoard time, if you've got some to spare, ask yourself if there is anything you can do now that will save you time later. If you have five free minutes now and an incontinent patient, getting them up to the bathroom now can save you from taking the time for incontinence care and a bed change later on when they've also sundowned and decide they hate everything but most of all you.

So much of this answer I realize is investing as much time upfront as you can, which I realize is so hard when you are so busy. It sucks immensely that prepping takes much less time than not being prepared does when you don't always have time to prep. Plus when you invest that time to pain plan with patients and do small preventative interventions, I think it also provides some psychological comfort that helps with pain. You're letting them know you're invested and you care and you have a plan, even if you don't have all the time you'd like. That can mean better pain control, which can mean needing to spend less time in that room overall, meaning you can save six whole minutes at some point and maybe even, if we're feeling crazy, get a chance to indulge in that greatest of indulgences: just a real leisurely on-shift piss.

#nursing tag #i hope this helps at all i know how much it sucks to end a shift like 'cool. i didn't help my patients. feel great about that.'#it sucks when you don't have enough time to take care of people because you have too many people to take care of #anyway also thank you re: pain post compliment. and also thank you re: getting to talk about pain mgmt again #marge simpson holding potato voice: i just think [nursing process and symptom management] is neat!

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glass-noodle · 8 months

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What would a role reversed merman AU scenario be like? And most impotant, what kind of fish species would Hank be? (Not meant as a drawing request or super elaborate essay or anything, I just love reading your ideas ✨️)

I know you said this isn't a drawing/essay request but HOW COULD I RESIST!!!

I am not a fish expert but I like to think of Hank being either a dwarf gourami (for that good ol' in-game symbolism hehe) or a tiger shark, because stripes and big teeth and bad temper. Or maybe he could be some sort of tropical fish that's super vibrant and colourful, yet also deadly (poisonous fin spikes?). Marine biologists please weigh in!!!

Some half-formed unofficial notes:

Hank is more outwardly aggressive towards Kamski and the scientists in comparison to Connor’s cold-shoulder approach. They went through their entire tranquilizer supply in the first few months just to get a handle on the roaring, thrashing beast of a merman, and he’s caused more than a few major injuries amongst their team. Just like Connor, he bares his teeth and resists every time they come to take him for experiments; they have to sedate him from a greater distance and with a much heavier dose than they use for Connor, however.

Hank is a little less malnourished than Connor, but only because he doesn't refuse to eat. He's still thinner and weaker than he would be normally

Connor works the night shift. Not sure if it’s because he has another job during the daytime or if he’s going to school, but either way he manages to catch up on sleep during his breaks. He sacrifices this sleep once he and Hank start growing closer, however.

Hank takes much longer to warm up to Connor than the reverse. He snarls and snaps his teeth whenever Connor gets too close; it takes weeks for Connor to be able to approach the edge of the tank. He has to leave the fresh fish on the deck and back away before Hank will even look at it, ice-blue eyes narrowed with suspicion.

Connor is a bit more hesitant to get close to Hank, but that's only because he's always taken his job seriously and he doesn't like breaking the rules. He can't help but stare in awe whenever the large merman swims by, however, vibrant fins flashing and his muscled body cutting powerfully through the water. It's only when Connor starts noticing the scientists taking Hank away - and his glimpses of Hank's violent resistance - that his curiosity and empathy override his sense of obedience and his desire to make a good first impression.

Because Hank doesn't talk, Connor is given even more of an opportunity than usual to run his mouth. He blabbers away, asking question after question as if Hank could answer, sometimes philosophizing and sometimes talking about nothing at all. Hank tries to tune him out as he eats, but the human is annoyingly persistent. Eventually he grows used to the babble, but only after he starts begrudgingly warming up to the kid.

Because Connor talks so damn much, it's alarming when he goes quiet. Hank initiates contact for the first time by taking off his glasses when he has his breakdown. It's the first time Hank has ever been so close to him.

I think that Hank would still have lost Cole when he was a baby mer; possibly to humans and their trapping practices, giving him even more of a reason to hate them. I'm torn on what Connor's backstory should be, though. Perhaps he lost Nines (to an ocean storm?)? Or maybe it’s post-fight with Amanda and he’s feeling directionless in life, suffocating under the weight of his family’s expectations and feeling like he’s a burden and a disappointment despite everything that he’s achieved? Maybe it’s just a good ol’ panic attack because I love forcing anxiety onto human!Connor (no I’m not projecting what do u mean)

Hank's power and girth take on a whole new light after they’ve grown close. Connor is more distracted during their time together, his stream of chatter faltering uncharacteristically whenever Hank shifts a certain way or rips into a fish easily with his powerful jaws. He swallows when he imagines the full strength of the merman pressing him down against the deck, of Hank dragging him into the water and grazing those razor-sharp teeth along his skin, tail wrapped around his body like a serpent and trapping him in place.

Hank could hold the skinny human down with one hand. He knows he could. He imagines wide dark eyes staring up at him, skin flushed prettily and neat brown hair dripping, wordless for once in his life, and nearly loses his self-control. If they were both mermen, he'd be courting the kid to the ends of the ocean. Or...maybe Connor would be the one wooing him. He's certainly brought him enough fish and stared at his chest and arms enough that any merperson worth their salt would consider it mate-like behaviour. It's a weird cognitive dissonance to be feeling this way about a human, but Connor is — Connor is different. Hank likes Connor; he likes him so much that it's stupid.

#noodle talk #lab merman au #hankcon #dbh #detroit become human #hank x connor #dbh fanart #detroit become human fanart #dbh connor #dbh hank #mermay #glass art #noodle art #i toyed with the idea of making Connor one of the scientists but #that’s a whole other au I think :)#thank you so much for your question I have so many thoughts and I’m glad you like reading about them 😭

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angel-eyes05 · 11 months

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bite the hand (chapter 1)

pairing: spider-woman!oc x miguel o’hara

summary: lorena's whole world was taken away from her in the blink of an eye, after she accidentally broke a canon event. lucky for her though, she was able to find a portal watch in her dimension and used it to get out before she glitched out of existence. unfortunately though, running from dimension to dimension, she's been named as an anomaly by the spider society. now, she's constantly on the run from them, their leader in particular. when she eventually gets caught though, she's recruited onto a mission to catch another anomaly who might be from her past. to her dismay though, her partner on this mission is her very captor. will she be able to stop arguing with him for long enough to get the job done?

info: enemies to lovers, maybe a slow burn depending on chapter count, oc is 24 and miguel is 27, both oc and miguel are super sad lmao, they're also both super violent so, they also hate each other what a slay, in regards to my oc you can read her character sheet right here

warnings: there might be spoilers for atsv in this so watch the movie before reading this, emetophobia, violence, blood mention, fangs

word count: 2.5k

notes: i'm super excited to start this series!!! i'll also be posting a copy of this on ao3 cause i wanna start sharing my work there too so i'll put the link up here when i post it. also if you see me use "you" instead of "she/her" just ignore it i probably missed it while proofreading and it's instinct lol

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The stuffy air from inside the bag her head was under nearly suffocated her before she could wake up. Her breath was hot and shoved towards her face by the bag, causing her to sweat a little. As she slowly woke up, she found herself unable to move her arms and legs, bound to the chair by her wrists and ankles. She tried to wriggle herself around, the rope bounded so tightly she could feel herself losing circulation, but it was in vain as she quickly felt a striking force against her ribs as a result. Lorena in her chair was knocked to the ground. The bag was removed from her head, exposing her to the harsh, fluorescent lights in the room.

Another kick was sent to her stomach, knocking a nasty cough out of her. All she could see right now as her eyes were still adjusting was the two feet standing in front of her face. She spat some of the blood forming in her mouth onto the freshly cleaned black shoes. She winced as her head was pulled up to face the man in front of her by her hair. His cold, dead, blue eyes shot daggers into her fiery brown irises. “You’ve turned into quite the problem, haven’t you child?” the old man spat at you, his breath stinging your eyes. “Well maybe you should be nicer to your guests,” Lorena panted out, still recovering from the two kicks. The man nodded to someone behind her and her chair was pulled up to a sitting position.

Lorena grunted as her head was yanked back by whoever was behind her. “Come on Armando, I said I would get you the money, and I am! My guy’s just taking a little longer than usual,” she nervously blurted out, seeing Armando further up in the room by a desk of torture weapons. She wasn’t going to give him the money any time soon, and he knew it. She barely had any money to buy herself food.

Lorena had been stuck on Earth-523, her safe zone, for the past week. Normally, she would be out within a day or two. But with her portal watch broken, she had no way to get out. And she had been glitching a lot recently. Glitching bad. She had asked Armando, a black market dealer she had previous history with, for parts to fix the watch. She had forgotten about how much money she owed him though, and when she failed to have it with her when she asked for the favor, she was knocked out and taken to whatever bunker she was currently in.

She had honestly gotten tired of hopping between so many worlds like this. She had been doing it for the past couple of months and it was draining her. She missed the stability of a home. Her home. Earth-2497. But she couldn’t go back now. It was physically impossible. She watched everything she knew and loved glitch out of existence while she just ran through her portal. Instead of dying a noble death alongside her people, she just ran away. Like a coward. Now she was being chased for it. That was another reason she needed her watch fixed.

Their appearances were becoming more and more frequent. People who looked just like her. She could sense her connection to them. One of them, a woman riding a motorcycle and big yellow sunglasses, said that she was. Lorena had experienced similar things to the others. Like the death of her tio. And then the death of her boyfriend. Her struggles were the same as theirs. But she wasn’t supposed to be here anymore. She explained that Lorena “broke the canon”, whatever that meant.

A man with multiple mechanical arms, almost like an octopus, had come through an orange portal and began wreaking havoc on New York City. Lorena had stopped him, but too early apparently, according to the woman. The man was supposed to kill Captain Stacy, the father of her best friend. But since he hadn’t been killed, she had accidentally ripped a hole in the space time continuum, or something, consuming and ripping apart her entire universe. She was supposed to die with it. But she hadn’t. She ran away. Now she was considered an anomaly. The woman described that most anomalies were sent back to their worlds after they were captured. But Lorena had no world to go back to.

“So what’ll you do to me then?” Lorena asked the woman.

“.....I’m not sure.”

That was enough to convince Lorena to start running. The different Spider-Men would pop up about every week or so. But the gap had been closed to around every day now. She had gotten a break this past week while her watch was broken, what she assumed to be some kind of break from the universe or something. But she knew it was only a matter of time until they found her again. Until he found her again.

Lorena had only been chased by him twice before. But both of those times, she had only escaped by a narrow margin. He looked significantly different from the other variants, sporting a mainly blue suit with a weird red symbol in the middle that warped around to his back. He was tall also. Really tall, with huge, broad shoulders. Lorena couldn’t help but wonder what he looked like under his mask, having not seen his face before. But no matter how much she would probably ask him out if they met under different circumstances, Lorena was terrified of him. She had left both chase sequences with him with enormous gashes on her from his sharp talons. She honestly wondered if he was actually human.

She was brought back to reality when she saw Armando walking back from the table. In his hand was a metal rod, the end of it a scorching orange. Lorena scrambled around in her seat, her head still yanked back. Fuck this is bad, she thought to herself. An idea suddenly snapped into her head.

She rarely used them, as they normally ended up harming her too in the end, but she would rather be burned by her own acid webs once than by this hot plate repeatedly. She repositioned her wrists, pointing one of them out. She braced for the pain. Suddenly, four strings of a radioactive green acid web shot out of her wrist, breaking the rope around her hands and wrapping around the thigh of the man holding back her head. He screamed out in pain as the acid melted through his leg. With him and Armando distracted, Lorena quickly broke out of her ankle restraints, ripped the hot branding stick out of Armando’s hands, and pushed it deep into his face. He let out an inhuman scream and quickly passed out from the pain. She then used the stick and smacked the metal against his partner’s head, knocking him out too.

Lorena stood to catch her breath for a second, bracing her side with her right arm from the pain in her ribs. She hoped they were just bruised, and not cracked. She then took off the gloves from her suit to examine the fresh acid burns on her left wrist. She had developed a bit of resistance from the pain, having had to use them so much recently since she’s been without web fluid for months now, but it still stung a bit and left quite a mark on her skin.

She stripped Armando of his long sleeve t-shirt and sweatpants to cover up her suit, and shoved her mask into the pockets of the pants, before walking outside the door into the night.

She was almost immediately soaked to the touch as the rain poured down on the city. The large t-shirt, absorbing all the water falling onto Lorena, only put extra weight onto her damaged ribs. She struggled to walk through the street as she continued to cough blood into her hand. Fuck, this was bad. Maybe her injury was worse than she thought.

Things only got worse when she suddenly felt her heartbeat speed up. Goosebumps flooded over her body and she was nearly paralyzed from fear. Her spider-sense was kicking in. Jesus, what is it now. She looked into the alleyway next to her to see if that's where the source of her fear was coming from. Her suspicions were confirmed correct when she saw an orange glow interrupt the darkness in the back of the alley, and a red spike ripping through it. She nearly left her heart behind as she immediately started to bolt down the sidewalk.

Great, just my fucking luck, she thought to herself as she ran. The one day I’m in horrible shape to fight is the one day he shows up to get me. Lorena didn’t need to look behind her to know the man was already bounding after her. She didn’t have any web fluid, and her acid webs would cut through the poles, so she was given the disadvantage on the ground this time. She threw her mask on her face from her pocket, that way so in case she did get caught, she could at least keep the dignity of her identity to herself. Her running was desperate and sloppy, her red hair slipping out from the back of her mask and almost slipping in a puddle when she turned a sharp corner.

She could feel her heart rising into her chest and her ribs cried out to her in pain, begging her to just stop and accept her fate. But she wouldn’t go down like this. She couldn’t. She needed to keep going, no matter how much blood she was coughing up while running. She could hear his feet splashing in the puddles behind her as she made her getaway. He was getting closer. She wasn’t fast enough. She needed to do something if she wasn’t going to get caught. And fast.

Desperate for a way out, she ripped her right glove off of her hand and jumped around to shoot an acid web at her chaser. The split second she could see him while turned around frightened her beyond belief. The man was chasing her on all fours, like some kind of wild dog. His claws dug deep into the concrete floor for extra traction from the rain. Yeah, there’s no way this guy was human. She shot the web out of her wrist, burning her more than usual, and aimed for his face. If she was going to shoot for him now, she needed to try to go for the kill. Before the web was even fully out of her hand, she was back facing forward and running. Fuck, did that mess up my aim? She didn’t have time to think about that now. She didn’t even look back to check. She just kept running.

The low scream from him at least meant that she hit him, which was enough for her right now. Her high came crashing down though when she turned another corner. Suddenly, a shattering agony rattled throughout her body as she became a jumble of neon colored parallelograms, all of her atoms splitting apart in a split second. She quickly fell to the floor, shaking in pain. But she still had to fight. Lorena used her arms to crawl into an alleyway into the darkness. If she couldn’t outrun him, she could at least try to hide. She lowered her head to the ground though when she heard puddles lightly splashing behind her. Footsteps. She didn’t hit him hard enough. It was all in vain.

She could hear his pants above her, as she turned her head around to see him standing right above her body, like he was admiring his achievement or something. She still tried to crawl away though. She didn’t matter if it made her look stupid. She still had to try.

Lorena stopped though when she felt him web her hand to the ground though, too tired to keep going. The bright red, glowing web illuminated the darkness of the alley. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him reaching his massive hand down to her. He roughly ripped her mask off her face, exposing her to the outside world. She began to cough again, so much this time, that she ended up losing her limited breakfast. The puke sits next to the man's feet, more blood than partially digested food. He stared at her in disgust. Then he finally speaks. The first time he has to her ever.

“This is the one who’s been causing us so much trouble?” he said, as if it was supposed to be more of a genuine question than an insult. His voice was beautiful. A rich, low, dark tone that rolled off of his tongue smoothly. She could see a small avatar pop up next to his shoulder, illuminated in a yellow aura. “Yup, this is her. Lorena Reyes, Spider-Woman from Earth-2497,” the woman avatar responded. “Huh,” he said, crouching down next to her head. “Thought she'd put up more of a fight.” That one was an insult. “Maybe you just caught me on a bad day,” she croaked out. He looked at the puke next to her. “I can see that.” Lorena started to glitch again, letting out sparse pants once her atoms stopped separately. The man sighed. “Let's just get this over with.”

What he did next took Lorena by surprise. He flung his strong leg over to the opposite side of her body and lifted his mask up to just over his nose, still concealing his eyes from her view. Lorena stared at him confused, too tired and in pain to do anything right now. What she could see from his face was gorgeous. His perfect nose, the slight pout in his plump lips, and his rich skin tone. He placed his hands on her head, one holding the nape of her neck, and the other pushing her head back.

Then they came out. His fangs. A slight fear washed over her body when she saw them. Was this vampire man about to kill her? Then he sunk them into the skin of her neck. She flinched slightly. What on earth was he doing? More fear entered her when she found she was quickly losing feeling in her feet. It slowly moved up her body. Then her legs. Then her hands. Then her arms. Her nerves being attacked by some kind of paralytic venom. It was most likely coming from his fangs. She felt slightly lucky that she still had feeling in her neck though, especially when he removed his fangs from her neck, and used his textured tongue to clean up the blood. It was warm and comforting to her. Then her neck lost its feeling. Lorena was quickly grateful for the venom when she found herself glitching again, but not feeling any pain from it.

She could feel herself passing out next. As consciousness left her body, the last thing she saw was the man lifting up from her neck and wiping her blood off from his mouth.

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NEXT CHAPTER

a/n: thanks for making it this far!!! lmk if you want to be on the tag list for future parts

#fanfic #spiderman 2099 #fanfiction #fem!reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #miguel o'hara x oc #spider man #spiderverse oc #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderverse

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catt-leya · 1 year

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Hi uh can I get number 11 “How the fuck did you manage to cover me in this many hickies?!” from the smut prompt? 👀

Perhaps Rick and his girl are having a lot of fun and she's super soft with him and in a praise mood and wants to praise the life out of Rick and he's been so stressed and just wants to relax for a while. She gives him a blowjob he won't forget so soon and she kisses him all over his body and the next morning after she rode the life out of him he just wakes up and sees all the hickies on his body. Perhaps for season 9 Rick? I have a soft spot for the old man lol

Snow Kiss (18+) || Rick Grimes

I'm sorry it took me so long to post it but when I saw your request I knew I had to do a winter themed fic about it....so it had to be that late this year 🤭👉🏼👈🏼💗

And I'm sorry it isn't a gif with him and his short hair but I couldn't resist (it's perfect for the story)...😍

Trigger: dirty talk, breeding (?), praise kink

Puffing, I stomp through the high snow and try to keep up with my boyfriend, who has much longer legs and therefore makes much better progress than I do.

With each of my steps I exhale heavily and traipse through my own breath cloud, which is snow-white due to the cold.

Although it's cold as hell and the snow reaches my knees, I'm sweating all over my body and have the feeling that tears are about to come from desperation.

So I stop, panting, and mutter, "Short break."

Surprised that I would ask for such a thing, Rick turns to me, "A break?"

I'm not usually one to give up or ask for a time out, but even I have my limits and I prop myself up on my thighs, which are burning like I've been in a hurdle race, "Yes, please."

I try to fill my lungs with deep breaths, ignoring the biting cold, as Rick mutters, "Are you weakening?"

Grumbling, I bend over a little further and reach for a handful of snow. Before he can react, I'm already throwing the small ball in his direction, hitting him square in the face.

I can't hide a big grin as the little snow clumps slide off his face and he stares at me in disbelief, "You didn't do that."

I grin proudly from ear to ear, "Oh yes I did, you old sadist."

I realize I'm in serious trouble when Rick lets the backpack he took from me earlier so I wouldn't have to carry it so heavily slide off his shoulders and drop carelessly into the snow.

Panicked, I try to get away from him as fast as I can, but before I can take a single step, Rick is already on me, throwing me to the ground with him.

He doesn't worry about crushing me or me hitting my head because the tons of soft white snow are under me and I claw at his winter jacket as I stomp and try to turn us so he's in the snow and I'm on top of him, but laughing I barely have the strength to move him an inch and he himself looks at me out of eyes shining with joy.

I used to think blue eyes looked cold and aloof, but since I've known Rick, I've completely discarded that theory. Especially here and now, when his eyes have taken on an even more intense shade of blue due to the white snow, I can't get enough of being looked at like that by him.

I don't even notice how wet my clothes are getting and when Rick's gaze briefly slips to my lips, I take the opportunity to push him up with all my power and roll on top of him, giggling, eliciting a soft '"Ufff" from him and I grin broadly at him, "Well, how does that feel."

Through my jacket, I feel him put his hands on my hips and wiggle his eyebrows suggestively, "To be honest, pretty good, actually."

Snorting, I shovel another helping of snow into his face and snort softly as he shakes his head to get rid of the snow, "You can really be a bad girl. Just bury your dear boyfriend in the snow, tz tz tz."

He raises his gloved hands to my cheeks and I lean down smiling and kissing them on the icy cold lips.

Actually, snow is not a good thing for our family and friends, but right now I can't think of anything better than lying in the freshly fallen snow with Rick and kissing him like it's the last time.

I elicit a soft sigh from Rick and his grip on my cheeks tightens as I mumble against his lips, "We're going to get sick. Especially you, if you keep lying in the snow, Rick."

But instead of letting go of me, he tries to get his tongue between my lips and I press them together tightly, making him moan almost tearfully, "Oh come on."

Grinning, I move away from him and slide off his hip to awkwardly stand up and offer him my hand, "Later. I promise."

For a brief moment, he just looks up at me before reluctantly grabbing my hand and letting me pull him up.

When he's back on his own two feet, he shakes his head to shake the snowflakes out of his dark hair, and I squeeze his hand, "Oh, don't pout."

I have to bite my lower lip to keep from laughing out loud when I see the snort he pulls, and when he mumbles, "I'm not at all," I can't help myself. He just stares at me as I can't stop laughing until he then can't hold back himself and laughs with me.

I squeeze his hand and rejoice as I see the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and he pulls me closer, "I'll carry you home."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah right."

"I mean it," his voice is rough and I frown as he looks at me softly and says, "I can see how hard it is for you in the snow. I'll give you a piggyback ride and carry you at least until the trees get thicker and the snow isn't so high."

When I don't respond he pushes me toward the backpack, "Come on. You take the backpack."

I blink in perplexity, "You're serious."

Smiling, he rolls his eyes and gets down on one knee in front of me.

So I take the backpack and strap it to my back before standing behind Rick and hesitantly climbing onto his back.

Briefly I think I'm pushing him face first into the snow, but he slowly straightens up and I clamp my arms around his neck and rest my chin on his shoulder, "I can really do this on my own too-" he chokes me out, "Sh, now just let me do this for you."

Concentrating, he bites his lower lip to keep from falling over with me on his back, and I keep breathing short kisses on his cold cheek and neck, between which I keep whispering "Thank you" in his ear.

Rick has always been a kind-hearted person, so it shouldn't surprise me that he offered to carry me, but with every step he takes through the high snow, I fall for him even more than I already do.

I realize how hard it must be for him to carry me and the backpack on his back, but he doesn't stop until we reach a spot where the snow is already packed down and we don't have to walk very far from here to see the gates of Alexandria.

Our home.

I press one last kiss on his cheek and then he lets me slide off his back. Without hesitation he turns and reaches for the backpack on my back, "Come on."

He pulls it off my back and I brace my hands on my hips before fixing him, "I don't want to sound ungrateful for you carrying me, but what am I even here for if you won't let me do anything."

Smiling, he taps my nose with his finger, "You're here because I love you and like having you around."

He pushes a strand of hair out of my face, "And I trust no one more than you to watch my pretty ass. Because I'm sure we both love that one."

Rick isn't wrong but still I childishly show him my tongue and march past him, "Well, let's get your pretty ass to the warmth."

It takes us considerably longer to get home than it would if we had normal circumstances without a pile of snow, and Rick spends at least as long in the shower.

But even I'm not necessarily shorter under the hot water stream and when I get out of the shower I can't even see myself in the mirror because it's fogged up from the water vapor.

Without seeing how my hair is lying, I try to fix it a bit and then pull a hoodie I took from Rick over my head.

It's too big for me, but the comfy size is just what I need right now and the fact that the hoodie also smells like Rick only makes it better.

I put my panties on and then pull open the door to our bedroom.

Rick is already in bed in gray sweatpants and a loose white shirt, and when he hears me pull open the bathroom door, he lazily opens his eyes.

I pull my wet hair out from under my hoodie and smile softly at him, "Is someone tired?"

Leaning my hip against the door frame, I have to smile even wider as he sighs and closes his eyes, only bringing a "Hmmm" to his lips.

I love watching him sleep and can barely restrain myself from staring at him.

Especially because it makes him look so incredibly vulnerable and the hard features disappear from his face.

It's rare that he can really relax and when I think he's not going to open his beautiful eyes again, I tiptoe over to my side of the bed and just as I'm about to settle down on the bed quietly Rick hums, "I can't sleep."

I wince briefly, not expecting to hear his voice again today, and then turn to face him.

He still has his eyes closed, but he says softly, "I can't stop thinking about how we might not all make it through the winter."

For a brief moment, I just look at him and can only admire him.

He is trying everything he can to help us all live in safety in security and expects nothing in return. He would give anything for us.

For his family.

I take a deep breath, "We're going to make it, Rick."

Only now does he look at me again and I can see the fear in his eyes. Fear that he only shows to me.

"You don't know that," at the words his voice is rough and soaked with uncertainty.

I meet his gaze while sliding onto the bed and sliding myself over his legs so I'm sitting astride his thighs, "Maybe not, but I know you'll do your best and you can trust us to do our best too."

I place my hands flat on his chest and he places his large hands on top of mine, "It's good to hear you say that, you know."

To lighten the mood a bit, I wink at him and lean in, "Maybe I should praise you more. Adore you."

It was obvious he was going to roll his eyes, muttering, "Don't exaggerate."

But the way his eyes lit up when I said that gives me a great idea and I pull my hands out from under his, "No, no. I'm serious, I should praise you more."

He frowns and I reach for his shirt, "Take it off and I'll show you how good you are to me. I want to reward you for all your hard work."

Rick exhales heavily and the candlelight starts to flicker in response, making shadows dance across his body.

I can see in his eyes how much he wants me and how much he wants to be rewarded by me.

Slowly he straightens up a bit and he reaches for the hem of his shirt.

Even after all the time I've been with him and the countless times I've seen him naked, it never prepares me to see his bare skin.

As soon as he settles back into the pillows, I grab the hem of his pants and pull them down over his hips and legs.

Already I can see that my words have actually turned him on and as I look him in the eye again, I reach for the hem of my hoodie, but he quickly shakes his head, "Leave it on...I like it when you wear my clothes."

Smiling, I shrug, "If you don't want to see my tits..."

"You're no less hot when you're dressed, sweetheart," at that he licks his lips and I whimper softly.

I know exactly what he can do with his tongue and I actually briefly think about sitting on his face, but I want today to be about him, so I push the thought away and instead lean forward and kiss his leg just above his right knee.

He immediately knows what I'm up to and sits up enough to lean on his elbows and watch me stroke his thigh with the flat of my hand, kissing my way closer and closer to his hardening cock.

Softly I hear him murmur, "You are so incredibly beautiful."

Then I look up at him and kiss the tip of his cock as light as a feather.

He draws in a loud breath and I lick once over his shaft, making him wince and I breathe harshly, "That's it."

He raises his hands and I know he wants to put them on the back of my head to guide me, but I shake my head and he drops his hands, "Sweetheart?"

I kiss his hip bone and when I start sucking he moans softly.

My mouth is so close to his cock and yet I don't take it in my mouth and that must drive him crazy.

That's why I mumble softly, "Just let me do it" and turn to his other hip bone.

I feel his cock against my neck and when I can't take it anymore myself, I slide down and let it slide between my lips.

The deep moan coming from deep in his throat forces me to squeeze my own legs together to keep from shoving a hand between my legs and I moan softly with my mouth full, "God, I love your cock."

I always take Rick's cock deep into my mouth, but today I want to reward him and make him happy, so I try to relax and take more of him into my mouth bit by bit, all the way down my throat.

Tears start to come and when I have him almost completely in my mouth, I look up at him to see straight into his eyes.

With huge eyes he stares at me and his hands are buried in the sheets under him to keep from grabbing my head "Holy" he takes a deep breath "Shit".

I can feel him twitching in my throat and I can't suppress a gag reflex, which seems to please him because he squeezes his eyes shut tight and moans softly, "Good girl."

I love it when his voice gets so rough and deep when he's aroused and even now my heart does a leap at his pitch.

Spurred on by the way his chest rises and falls so quickly, I let him slide out of my mouth a bit and take him into my mouth again as deep as I can.

As I do so, I slide one hand over his hips to his flat stomach, squeezing lightly so he doesn't meet me halfway with his hips each time to be back in my warm mouth.

I want to reward him and not be taken by him like I normally am.

Without taking my eyes off him I give him the blow job of his life and when he groans loudly and tugs my hand off his body to thrust into me, I know he's close to cumming in my mouth and although I don't want to stop, I let his cock slide out of my mouth one last time with a smacking sound and when the cool air in the room hits his wet cock he tears open his eyes and growls, "Oh shit, don't you quit. You better take me between your..."

Giggling, I put a finger on his mouth and run my other hand feather lightly over his cock, the tip of which is already showing precum, "Shhh, wait and see. As promised, you'll get the reward you've earned."

Skeptically he looks at me with dark eyes as I bend over him again and kiss his lower belly, "You" I kiss the spot next to his belly button "Are" His left rib "The" the right "Best" a nipple "What" the second one "Ever" collarbone "Happened" Adam's apple "To me".

His hands grip my hips tightly and I put my lips to the side of his neck "You're always so good to me and shit, can you fuck me so good."

A harsh laugh slips from his lips, catching in his throat as I reach between us again and slowly jerk him off, "Do you want to cum inside me Rick? Do you want your reward?"

A jolt goes through his whole body and he moans softly, "Yes."

Slowly I disengage from him and kneel down so I can pull my panties over my butt and toss them carelessly onto our bedroom floor.

Because the hoodie is quite long, I grab the hem and pull it up enough so that Rick can see my naked lower half as I spread my legs and position myself over him so that I would only have to lower myself to take him inside me.

His eyes are fixed firmly on my naked pussy and as I see his eyes light up at that, I say softly, "I can't keep the hoodie up and ride you, Rick. Will you please help me with this?"

Lost in thought, he mumbles a hoarse, "Hmmmm?" and I reach for his hand and place it on my hip so he's holding the hoodie up, "Can you hold the fabric up? I want you to see how well you fit inside me and how far you can stretch me. Would you do that for me?"

Seeming to be completely out of it with excitement, he asks obtusely and somewhat delayed, "What would you want me to do?"

I stifle a laugh and lean down to kiss him lightly on the lips, blocking his view so he can at least focus a bit on what I'm saying, "Would you hold my sweater up, Rick?"

His cheeks are flushed and I'm sure he's a little embarrassed that he's been so distracted that he didn't even catch my request and probably only caught the words "stretch" and "fit inside me."

Immediately, he rests his second hand on my hip as well and says softly, "Of course. Sorry."

It's like a rush to have such power over a man like Rick.

To know that I can drive him out of his mind like this and that he'll do practically anything for me.

It's addictive.

Lips inches from his, I reach between and place his tip against my wet pussy.

At the feeling of having him almost inside me, I can't suppress a pitiful moan and with a low growl Rick just pushes me down on top of him, making me wince violently and he presses his lips firmly on mine.

With my mission in mind I whimper softly, "You're so big."

"Oh shit" his cock twitches inside me and I try to straighten up on him as best I can, looking back to where he is inside me.

As I slowly move on top of him he can't take his eyes off me and his fingers dig firmly into my hips as he follows me with his eyes as his cock slides into me again and again, leaving a wet trail of my pussy on him, causing a soft smacking sound that I was ashamed of before, but now it only makes me hornier.

To support myself I put my hands flat on his chest and moan softly how good he feels inside me and how much I love him.

For a brief moment he tries to push me off of him to roll over me, but I push him so hard I can back onto his back and let my hips gyrate slowly, "Let. Me. Do. it."

Whipped, he drops his head back into the pillows and looks down at me as if I fell out of the sky for him and landed straight on his cock.

Again and again I lower myself onto him and each time I tighten around him.

The first few times I do it consciously because I know he likes it, but after a certain point it just happens, but still it's not enough for me, so I look helpfully into Rick's eyes and he tilts his head, "Do you need my help to cum?"

The way his accent is thicker as soon as he's turned on always makes me weak and even now I tremble above him and moan pleadingly, "Yes, Rick. Please let me come around you."

Without taking his eyes off me, he slides a hand from my hip between my legs and at the first contact of his fingers on my clit, I cry softly.

A knot forms in my abdomen and I ride him faster, "Oh God, you are the best man I know and I want you to cum inside me, please oh please...oh Rick I...please..."

I'm getting more and more whiny on him and he himself is always the more controlled one when it comes to sex, that's why he helps me maintain my movements and keeps coming with his hips towards me, "Of course...shhhh...relax...I...shit of course I'll cum inside you if that's what you want..."

Hectically I nod and squint my eyes as I realize I can barely hold myself back and gasp, "Now Rick...please now..."

I'm barely able to fight him off in any way as he pulls me to him and presses his lips hard to mine, moaning into my mouth, "Let go..."

I wince and press tightly against him as the knot inside me loosens and I tighten around him so tightly that I feel like my pussy wants to cling to him to pull him deeper inside me.

As I begin to pulse around him, he also begins to twitch inside me, saying my name, like a prayer.

Hoarsely I gasp again and again, "I love you. Fuck I love you so much." And his fingers on my hip squeeze so hard that I'm sure I won't get away without marks.

For a brief moment my eyes go black and I don't open them until I blink as Rick asks softly, "Are you okay?"

Still his softening cock is inside me and I know my cheeks must be red as I ask softly, "Did you like it?"

He licks his swollen lips and raises his hand to run his thumb over my lower lip, "Yes sweetheart. Thank you."

He spins us around so I'm on my back and he rolls off me to crawl out of bed.

Almost always Rick is on top of me, or at least does most of the work, and now I remember why that is.

It's exhausting as shit.

Breathing heavily, I lie on my back and follow Rick with my eyes as he disappears into the bathroom and then comes back to me with a damp towel in his hand.

I don't resist as he pushes my legs apart and gently cleans me up.

Weakly, I mumble, "How bad does it look?" Because I actually don't like it when he cleans me up after sex, even though it's incredibly sweet of him and nothing to be ashamed of, especially since he's no less to blame for how I look between my legs every time.

That's why he raises his eyebrows skeptically and says dangerously quietly, "Now cut the crap and just so you finally get it, you have no idea how much it turns me on when you make me come inside you and how hot it is to see my cum run out of you."

He's never said it so straight before and my heart stops for a brief moment.

We just look at each other and very briefly the thought comes to me, how it would be if I would always let him come inside me.

Until now, I've always tried to work out when it would be reasonably safe, although of course we've never had a guarantee of that either.

But now I'm thinking about what it would be like if I stopped calculating and we called his bluff.

What it would be like if Rick got me pregnant and I carried his child under my heart.

It's a brief thought and before I can stop myself, I utter the words, "Do you want a child with me?"

He pauses in his movement and stares at me, "What?"

With a pounding heart, I say, "How about we just try it and expand our little family? I'm young, Rick. I can still get pregnant and I would like to have a child with you someday. So why not do it now? Don't you want it?"

I chew on the inside of my cheeks as he slides his gaze over my face and he carelessly drops the towel on the floor, "I love you and that's why I'm saying no. Please let's not try. If it's by chance we can't change it, but I don't want to try it on purpose."

I don't know exactly what answer I was expecting, but certainly not one that would bring tears to my eyes with shame.

He makes it sound like the very thought is sucking all the life out of him and I clench my teeth tightly to keep from starting to cry, which of course he sees immediately and says softly, "Not that I wouldn't love to have a child by you, but I love you too much to force the risk of pregnancy on you and maybe it's selfish, but I don't want to live with the thought that I might be to blame for you dying during childbirth. Fuck, I wouldn't survive losing you. So no. I'm not going to consciously try to get you pregnant."

He slides down on the bed next to me, "Please understand. It's incredibly hard for me to deny you your wish, but I just can't."

Silently, I look at him and then nod.

I actually understand what he means, but I look him firmly in the eye, "Okay. That's where we are today."

He frowns and I gently continue, "But it's not final."

I was expecting rebuttals, or a telling off about how he certainly wouldn't change his mind, but he too nods slowly, "Okay. Today's status."

With those words, he takes me in his arms and I fall asleep pressed against his chest and snow outside our window.

The next morning I am awakened by a deep laugh and I press my face into my pillow as I ask, muffled by the fabric, "What's wrong?"

I pull the blanket further over my body because it's so damn cold and Rick coughs laughing, "Oh my god...how the fuck did you manage to cover me in this many hickies?!"

Groaning, I roll onto my back and lazily open my eyes. Immediately my eyes fall on his torso, which is covered in hickies.

Rick looks like a 16 year old who made out with his first girlfriend and she desperately wanted to immortalize herself on him.

It looks so ridiculous and hot at the same time that I laugh out loud and wink at him, "Sorry, but I'd say you're mine."

He playfully rolls his eyes and I stare at the hickies on his neck before he pulls a sweater over his head and says good-humoredly, "I look like a teenager but I love you anyway," and I stick out my tongue.

Even though he's a little older, it doesn't mean he's boring and can't take a joke. He is perfect and I love him more than anything in this world.

After that night, a couple of weeks go by as the winter mellows and I'm in the kitchen making breakfast for Rick, who came home late last night, when I feel like throwing up across the kitchen counter.

Without thinking, I run to the patio door and yank it open just in time to throw up in the flower bed next to it.

Tears run down my cheeks as I retch and can't get anything up.

It feels like I'm going to die and that's when it hits me.

I prop myself up on the ground with my hands and whisper "shit" over and over.

@hail-yourselves @bean-is-reading @chanlvr2 @criminalwalkingsupernatural @sunshinevirus @toxic-ink @kingtwhiddleston @bloodycherry22 @vane28282 @bamslover @revesephemeres @emo-potato-virgil @tropodyn @mrsashleybarnes18-blog @igotbasicdrag

(If anyone else would like to be tagged, just let me know 💗)

#rick grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes smut #rick grimes imagine #twd #twd x reader #the walking dead #request #andrew lincoln

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harmonysanreads · 1 year

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in my head, the reader from the alhaitham!vampire au/fic is equally as fascinated by the fact that he's a vampire as he is they're human. Like they are aware that it is a dangerous situation but not for them, other people sure but they're safe. They don't have to worry about taxes anymore and they can still do the things they like and enjoy, it's not like they can't see their friends anymore, they can but they were never the most social person anyways so it's not something that happens regularly anyways.

in my head I have a conversation between them and another person going like: "he killed a man" / "he did and he takes full responsibility for it and apologizes sincerely" (he will do none of these things)

but I wanted to run this by you and see what your thoughts on this were, love your stuff by the way

「 au masterlist 」

Hmmmm in any fic, I always try to keep the darling's personality as ambiguous as possible so they can be interpreted however the reader pleases. Some key characteristics do tend to shine through, besides, Vampire Alhaitham and darling have quite a dynamic soo :>

In Vampire! Alhaitham's case, I tried to imply reader to be 'everything he wasn't hoping they were'. Vampire Alhaitham may be down bad for darling to the point he strays from his usual principles, but in terms of intellect, he's far more advanced and dangerous than our Feeble Scholar — so, I wanted this big bad vampire to be at his wit's end.

I have the same curious!reader vision as you!! Their innocence and purity is what made Alhaitham so intrigued and, kept him from killing them in the first place. As for the curiosity to shine (and birth some adorable moments), the dependency to take effect or the matter of awareness, depends on whether we're talking about pre-kidnapping or post-kidnapping.

Pre-kidnapping reader is blissfully unaware of the rollercoaster that's about to hit them — sure, they have some suspicions about the recent happenings in their lives and the nagging feeling that they're constantly being watched, even in sleep. But there's no concrete evidence to prove anything. All the while, Alhaitham goes through the five stages of grief regarding his feelings for the person he was sent to murder 😕

After-kidnapping though? There is nothing called 'the outside world' beyond Alhaitham's ridiculously secured house for you, my dear. Your previous life and the sunlight you want on your skin? You don't them anymore. ... To Alhaitham's credit although, he's just trying to keep you safe from the filthy claws of the Vampire Lords :( You understand it's for your best, don't you?

Darling's persona will contribute to them submitting without much of a fight, honestly. As you said : no taxes, no annoying people but a super handsome vampire that looks after them and asks (almost) nothing in return? They have no one else left anyway and deep down, they just want to be loved. Besides, would you really think about escaping at all from him, after witnessing what Vampire Alhaitham is capable of doing with his bare hands? I trust you're smart enough to keep that possibility, forever just a possibility.

I can see that conversation happening after Alhaitham's plan has succeeded fully, him killing someone will be as normal as breathing to reader at that point and that childlike whimsy?? Oh, just when Alhaitham thought he couldn't love you any harder.

Honestly though, I'm just happy seeing you ponder over this, go as crazy with your hcs as you want <33

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sirfrogsworth · 8 months

Text

I'm still not feeling great, but I really needed groceries. So I forced myself to go last night, which was a really bad idea considering I hadn't recovered from post-exertional malaise as it was.

But I didn't have much food due to stalling for so long. I know I could do delivery or have someone pick stuff up, but I really need to walk around and pick things out. If I am not in the mood for something I won't eat it. I can be picky that way. And then it spoils and I have to throw it out. It's just better if I go to the store and find things that my brain has a craving for.

It just seems like whenever I have the least energy and I try to do a short, simple trip out of the house, I have all of these mini-adventures that make it not as short and simple.

In this case, I didn't even make it out of my driveway before the adventures began. I got in the car there was a warning my tire pressure was low. And usually it isn't that bad and I can just fill up the tires when I have more energy. But one tire was extremely low, so I didn't want to chance it.

I wish I knew why my tires lose air so fast. Seems like I fill them every week or two. I read it could be bad valve stems. But like, on all the tires? I'll save that mystery for another day.

Unfortunately putting air in my tires is just about the hardest task for me specifically. Even if I sit on a stool, I have to bend down in a way that pushes my belly against my lungs. I run out of breath very quickly and so I have to go up and down many times to finish filling the tire. By the end of filling all 4 tires, I was sweating, exhausted, out of breath, light headed, and nauseous.

I really need to find a better way to fill my tires. I could try sitting on the ground, but standing up from the ground is not always easy for me and I'd have to do it 4 times.

I wonder if there is a place I can tip someone to do it.

I digress.

I make it to Sam's and I am struggling before even walking in the store. And they have gigantic shopping carts that take much more energy to push around. Schnucks has these little baby carts that are great for when you need a few items. I guess Sam's assumes if you are going to a bulk store you are going to buy in bulk.

I get my sushi and my brownie bites and everything else and head towards checkout. I have a bit too much stuff for self checkout to make sense, so I get in line.

On one side of me was a guy who was impulse buying a 65" TV. Which is a really bad idea. You should never buy any electronics without researching it first. (Or ask me. Everyone should always ask me before buying technological items.) He was buying a TV that was made to be thin. And if he needed a super thin TV, and he couldn't afford an OLED, it was an okay choice. But for the same price he could get a thicker TV with much better image quality. There was a part of me that wanted to take him back over to the TV aisle and help him make a better decision. But my anxiety thought of about 30 ways that could have backfired and I was barely standing.

And then there was this cart in front of me...

Seriously?

Is there a midwestern hurricane headed this way or something?

I don't even understand how they did this.

This isn't Tetris. This is... overstuffing a turkey.

I'm a little worried about those eggs too.

Thankfully a new lane opened up and I didn't have to wait 30 minutes for them to figure out how to deal with that.

I did try to use my amazing Tetris skills to arrange my items so the bar code was visible for each one. (I probably could have done self checkout, I guess.) Last time the lady thanked me for making it so easy for her. So I was waiting for this lady to pull out her laser shootie price gun and start zapping my stuff.

But she unloaded everything in my cart onto the conveyor.

My shopping cart Tetris skills went unnoticed and she had to do 3 times the work.

Then I get out to the parking lot and a bunch of carts are all blocking the disabled parking space for people with rear-loading wheelchairs.

I tried to move some of them as I went by. I just didn't have the energy to put them all in the receptacle. But even if they are in the yellow zone, that is where they need to unload the wheelchair. I'm just so tired of people being inconsiderate like this.

And I also see a lot of disabled people without wheelchairs using this space. I suppose if it is the only one available, but this is such a great accommodation for wheelchair users. It is much safer to unload away from traffic. I would rather park in the back of the lot than take this option from someone.

Oh, and Schnucks has one of the disabled spots reserved for police and that makes me so mad too. They can double park if there is an emergency. I never see a cop car in that space and so many people could be using that.

Sorry, after pushing my dad around for a year I have become very sensitive to this.

I really wanted to drive straight home, but I still needed some soup and black cherry soda from Schnucks. I probably should have gone back a different day, but sometimes a different day isn't for weeks. So I just got it all done at once. Plus I really wanted to try that Vess black cherry.

Sorry, RefresCoVesScnhucks™ Black Cherry Soda.

I've been pretty sore all day. And I'm still not prepared for the second house auction. And people are coming to pick stuff up from the first auction on Friday. The house is a mess again. Half the groceries aren't put away.

I'm going to need to pull my lantern battery out of the pocket dimension to charge myself back up.

#long post

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nian-7 · 4 days

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HAIII!! it’s me vani from the matchup requests hehehe (if u remember…but it’s okay if u dont lawl) i really love all your writings from almost all the fandoms you write for!! i think it’s probably your writing style which makes me really like your writings alot maybe?? basically, I LOVE YOUR BLOG ALOT N YOU SEEM RLLY COOL TOO!! :3c

also, I’d like to be friends w/ you aswell even though im literally a blank/empty blog…(；ω；) (sort of planning to probably post something soon tho, but im not sure when…)

ALSO NOW I WANNA REQUEST FOR SMTH NOW SOOO can i request letters A, G, I, K, & Q from the sfw alphabet with satsuki and anne??? thank you so much in advance! have a great day! ☆ (also love ur new theme btw :33)

HI VANI!! i do remember you, yes. i'm not that bad with names thankfully... BUT OFC WE CAN BE FRIENDS!! i'll be looking forward to whatever you post on your blog but i hope you enjoy your request!

Anne, Satsuki x gn!reader

✧fluff alphabet (a, g, i, k, q)

Affection (pda? how do they like physical affection?)

-Anne loves physical affection. It's always something they love to indulge in. Whether that's grabbing your face to turn it towards them for a kiss or just having their hand intertwined with yours.

Gentle (how gentle are they with you?)

-Super gentle! You're their lover after all, why would they want to be rough with you when they love you so much? Always touching you so sweetly and giving you kisses that are full of love always. They're a little playful but they're always gentle.

Impression (their first impression of you)

-I'm very certain that Anne notices your style out of everything first. Your style is what draws them to you in the first place so their first impression is based on how much they're into your style more than how you actually look.

Kisses (how do they kiss you? where?)

-Usually your cheeks or lips are preferred. They love leaving lipstick marks on your cheeks and they especially love it if you have squishy cheeks! It's always got an underlying playfulness when they kiss you but it's always full of love.

Quality Time (do they enjoy it? how do they like to spend it?)

-Of course! Lots of dates are in order when you date Anne. Usually they consist of going out rather than staying it. They love to spend time with you and they consider it all a 'date' whenever they spend one on one time with you.

Affection (pda? how do they like physical affection?)

-Super duper embarrassed about it... Satsuki loves affection, especially from you, but he can't help but feel extremely embarrassed. PDA isn't something he always prefers and would like smaller affections when it's in public.

-In private though? Go wild. He loves it all even when he's red as a tomato. Like a sponge soaking up all the affection he can get from you. Pouts a little when you stop...

Gentle (how gentle are they with you?)

-Again, super duper gentle. He treats you like you're about to break sometimes and he becomes the biggest softie around you. He can't help it!! You're just so special to him that he can't bare the thought of accidentally hurting you!

Impression (their first impression of you)

-His first impression of you can go one of two ways, it just depends on what you want to see it as.

-Either one, he finds you interesting and/or cool and is interested in befriending you at some point. Maybe you met through a mutual friend so he was trying not to intimidate you... (if you prefer a sort of slow-burn story)

-Or.. love at first sight. Absolutely smitten by you in every way. Your laugh, your smile, your face, and whatever else he sees before he gets caught staring like an idiot...

Kisses (how do they kiss you? where?)

-Anywhere and everywhere is okay with Satsuki. He loves kissing you (even if he's too embarrassed to even initiate it...) so he doesn't even care where he's kissing you as long as he is kissing you.

Quality Time (do they enjoy it? how do they like to spend it?)

-He loves quality time. Much less embarrassing than physical touch or words of affirmation although he loves both of those things a lot. Just being in your presence is enough to make his day and he loves to go on dates with you.

please do not repost any of my work without my permission, thank you for reading.

#fluff #x reader #gender neutral reader #paradox live x reader #paradox live #anne faulkner x reader #anne x reader #anne faulkner #satsuki x reader #satsuki ito #satsuki ito x reader

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total-drama-brainrot · 3 months

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that one real-total-drama-takes post about team cirrrrh all being misogynistic got to me because they're not even wrong, they're all different flavours of misogynistic and that includes izzy.

tyler & owen are period-typical misogynistic teenage boys; they're not intentional or malicious with it, they're just a product of the societal ideals + norms of the 2000s, but that doesn't change the fact that they hold a lot of harmful ideals. they congratulate duncan on "bagging two hot chicks", not because they don't understand that cheating is wrong, but because that was just the widely accepted mindset of the late 2000s- and this is applicable to a lot of their behaviour in all 3 gen1 seasons. tyler is less obvious about this mindset, but owen himself showcases this a few times over the seasons. remember the bet he made with cody in season 1?

alejandro beefs up the chivalry aspect of his persona to manipulate everyone but women especially, and often times expresses that he sees the girls he flirts with as less than people and moreso obstacles or prizes. it's only later on in the season where he begins to see heather alone as somewhat equal to him and she's the only girl he doesn't brush off as easy to control, but even then it often seems like he's indulging her instead of treating her like a serious threat. this is even more evident in their song "this is how we will end it", where he showcases all of the women he manipulated as puppets on strings- mere objects for him to play with- whilst the men he manipulated aren't mentioned at all (implying he saw them as more than toys to be controlled).

duncan.

noah, as far as i'm aware, isn't outright misogynistic so much as just an asshole to everyone. Unless you count his treatment of izzy in wt as proof of his misogyny, which is fair because most of his interactions with her and eva both involve him insulting them in some way (all of the different ways he's called izzy a nutcase, mocking the "iron woman" for her weakness against justin). he's got the vibes of "you're gay because you like men, I'M gay because i hate women" which is mostly because he doesn't seem to like men either, but he at least tolerates them, whilst he barely even interacts with any of the girls. Now that I think about it, I don't think Noah ever has a positive interaction with a girl in the whole show (unless you count trying to hug bridgette?)

and izzy has such strong "i'm not like other girls" internalized misogyny. she's a miniboss in the manic pixie dream girl rpg- and i mean it when i say manic- and she intentionally plays up the more masculine or disgusting aspects of herself to appeal to owen in particular. just like noah, i don't think she's ever had an objectively positive interaction with another girl on the show, but at least she does interact with them. sometimes it feels like izzy is so disconnected from her femininity- as if the writers only remember she's even a girl when they're writing about her relationship with owen- and this isn't a 'bad' thing but it does disconnect her from almost every other girl on the show. it's super weird, especially for a show that (usually) showcases femininity as something strong and empowering, especially since it almost penalises eva for not being feminine in the slightest yet only ever rewards izzy for doing the same.

#kinda drafty in here (posts from the drafts)#only a semi-serious post btw. it's not nearly that deep and yet here we are. /lh #total drama #team chris is really really really really hot #cw misogyny #ophe rambling #character analysis #⬅ i guess???

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imdoingaokay · 1 year

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R!DAI Companions + Advisors with an Inquisitor that wants a baby (and/or is pregnant)

Hey guys, I'm alive. This is something I've had for a while, and it's also the longest post I've made. So... yeah. Sorry I don't post all that much, I promise I'm trying.

Anyways, enjoy this self-indulgent fluff piece that I've been working on.

This had every companion, romanced except for Cole, Leliana, and Vivienne (so that means you get romanced Varric in this, you're welcome.)

HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD! And slight NSFW, nothing too bad, just Bull being sex-positive.

TOKOPHOBIA WARNING

It started innocently enough, the Inquisitor would wander around Skyhold, visiting their friends and lover, just to check in (or give their lover a smooch.) Then a squeal of delight was heard, probably by everyone from Undercroft to the Rookery, that came from the Inquisitor. What they were squealing and cooing about? A baby. A chubby, chortling baby a pilgrim had brought to Skyhold that the Inquisitor had practically stumbled into. The Inquisitor was so enamored with the child, that they ended up spending the rest of the day wandering around Skyhold with the little one.

Then it got worse.

Parents, unable to resist the temptation of the Inquisitor offering to take their little ones for a stroll while they got some well-deserved rest, happily gave the Inquisitor their children. The children that did get babysat by the Inquisitor had far more fun than expected, walking along the battlements, eating a meal or two curated by the Inquisitor, and even being told stories of their exploits. The children of Skyhold grew to adore the Inquisitor, and the Inquisitor adored them in turn.

Soon enough, The Inquisitor became often sidetracked while on missions (more so than usual.) They would stop in their tracks to hold up a trinket or a flower and smile to themselves, telling their companions how they intended to give whatever they held to a specific child. By the time the mission was over, the Inquisitor had lined their pockets with various items to give to the children.

All of this led to the Inquisitor’s friends and/or lover asking “why?” To which the Inquisitor looked them dead in the eye and shrugged.

“I want a baby of my own.”

Blackwall/Thom Rainier:

Platonic: Blackwall shrugs, he gets it. The kids are cute. And it’s far more healthy for the Inquisitor to spend time taking care of other people’s children rather than go out and just… have one.

Not like he wouldn’t mind, Uncle Rainier sounds like a nice title, right? Hopefully, The Inquisitor wants a hand-carved cradle when they have their child.

Romanced: He goes “Uh… is that… something you… want to do… now?” Rainer never truly saw himself settling down officially. He didn’t think he truly deserved that. But the idea of having a few kids? With the woman he loves? Top-tier fantasy in his book. And now with his true identity out of the way, he feels a little better about his future. Especially with his lover.

He needs to hear his lover say “not right now” because he would be more than happy to give his Inquisitor a few kids, and he wouldn’t have the mental strength to say no if they asked.

Now if his lover does, by some chance, get pregnant. He’s over the moon. He fights harder, and faster, always eager to end Corypheus and retire. He’s such a sappy guy too, always wanting to stay as close as possible to his lover. So one should expect him to personally request that he be sent out all the time with The Inquisitor. That man has a nursery ready to go by the time The Inquisitor’s ready to give birth. He carves a cradle, high chairs, and everything the baby could need. He’s willing to build a palace with his two bare hands for his family.

Cassandra:

Platonic: She gets it. Kids are super cute, why not have a few? If she didn’t become a seeker, she knows she would have a few of her own, whether she wanted to or not. But hopefully, the Inquisitor isn’t planning on having any now. Like… now, now. Because the Inquisition still needs them, she still needs them.

If The Inquisitor ends up pregnant or their partner ends up pregnant, she gets furious. She chews them out a little, claiming how immature they are for bringing a child into the world when the world is in so much turmoil.

She calms later, especially when the child is born, recognizing the love The Inquisitor and their partner show for the child. She doesn’t apologize, as she’s still pissed, but she does adore the child.

Romanced: “Oh.” She says before her face goes completely red. She’ll have to pull them aside and talk about their future together. She’s honestly flattered when the Inquisitor claims they want to have children with her. She’d be a liar if she said she didn’t want kids of her own, especially with the Inquisitor, but the both of them ought to know that they can’t… not yet… anyways. But once all the rifts are closed and they have some more time for themselves, then… then, yeah. Yeah, she would like that.

Maker, help her if she ends up pregnant, she’ll be extremely stressed, for both her and her lover’s sake. One should expect her to refuse to go out on missions until the baby is born, and expect her to be furious when her lover goes too.

Cole: He understands, mainly because he read the Inquisitor’s mind, but he understands deeper than that. He thinks the Inquisitor would be an excellent parent, especially with how they treat him (if high affinity.) He holds a great deal of respect for them, and he knows that their heart is full of a very fluffy, wholesome type of love. One that Cole is more than happy to reciprocate.

If the Inquisitor does end up having children, Cole is a very willing babysitter, as he doesn’t sleep and he’s able to tell what exactly a baby wants.

Cullen Rutherford:

Platonic: Cullen furrows his brow before his gaze softens. He understands, he does. The thought of a little house, a family dog, and the sounds of little feet pittering against the floorboards, it’s nice. But that life is… unachievable, especially for a man like him. A man who is so busy, who has no right to live such a dreamy life. But The Inquisitor? They deserve that. They truly do.

He doesn’t need to ask if they mean right then and there, he knows what they mean and that they don’t intend on bringing in a child just yet.

“You would be wonderful.” He says, placing a comforting hand on their shoulder

If the Inquisitor ever ends up pregnant, Cullen won’t be able to stay very calm at all. He encourages the Inquisitor to stay behind in Skyhold but gives up when the Inquisitor becomes stubborn. He eventually has to turn to Leliana or Cassandra for help.

Romanced: It’s a simple desire, to have children. And Cullen’s had it every once in a while, like when he was in Kirkwall and saw a small child toddle towards another templar. He watched his colleague’s wife follow after the child, about to scold the babe for interrupting their father in the middle of work. The templar, instead, scooped the child up in his arms and showered the child’s pudgy face in kisses. That domestic bliss was something Cullen found himself longing for. But he was too busy, life was too busy. And then The Chantry exploded, and he was in The Inquisition… he couldn’t think about that. Not until he met his Inquisitor. Now he imagines what life will be like after the pair are finished. If The Inquisitor has already affirmed that they aren’t leaving him, Cullen’s willing to have a family with The Inquisitor, as long as the two are finished with Corypheus first.

But if life finds a way… he’s happy and nervous. He begs his lover to stay behind in Skyhold, terrified of the billion things that could go wrong. Of course, rifts must be closed, so, against his better judgment, he lets her go.

His dreams get progressively worse when she’s away, it was always like that… but the dreams are worse when she’s pregnant. It gets to a point where he goes weeks without sleep, aside from the occasional nap that he gets jolted up from. The second his lover is back, Cullen whisks her away from the War Room and ushers her back to her quarters, where he has a healer check on her and the baby. Once he is certain she is fine, and the sun has gone down, Cullen lays down next to his lover and passes out into a dreamless slumber.

Dorian Pavus:

Platonic: “Oh that is hilarious.” He laughs before his smile falls, “Wait you’re serious?”

He listens to his friend, but worriedly reminds them how dangerous it is to bring a child into the world, especially with the Inquisitor in such a highly scrutinized role.

If the Inquisitor assures him that they don’t plan on having kids just yet, he’s relieved, but secretly disappointed. He does like babies… when they’re not puking or pooping.

Now if the Inquisitor is planning on having a child or is already pregnant, he’s ecstatic. He’s all over that and can’t wait until the baby comes. The man buys cribs, toys, parenting books, and much more. Don’t be surprised if he gets a “world’s best uncle” wine glass or something.

Romanced: He jokes, “We could just adopt, I’m sure there are plenty of little Tevinter babies that need two insanely beautiful fathers.”

Now, he is joking, but he’s secretly terrified. But not because he’s worried he’ll be a lousy father or anything, he knows he’ll be different from his father. But, the thought of having kids is something he always knew he was going to do. And then everything happened with his father and his Amatus, and now he feels like… he has a choice? He can say no. He can say yes. He can adopt, or have a surrogate. He doesn’t have to fit into the status quo anymore.

But what if something happens? What if something goes wrong? What if he isn’t able to provide for his child the way they deserve?

It takes some talking down from his Amatus for him to truly relax. The two will need to speak about what they both plan future-wise. And while Dorian may not follow the same ideals as most of Tevinter, he still plans on putting a ring on it before they have kids. After all, they have to have some decorum. But, he also wants to get married because he does love his Amatus and marriage just makes things feel more official.

Iron Bull:

Platonic: He likes kids, so he gets it, too. He may not outright encourage it, but he assures the Inquisitor how great of a parent they’ll be. Now, if the Inquisitor does end up pregnant, he’s overjoyed… on their behalf… not, like, because he wants to be called an uncle or something… (he wants to be called “uncle” very badly)

He makes the kid an honorary member of the Chargers and attempts to make the little one a onesie that has an embroidered “Bull’s Chargers” lettering on the front.

It takes him all of the pregnancy, but once the baby is born the child has a lovely little onesie that looks incredible. He won’t admit it, but that embroidery took way too long than anyone expected.

Romanced: “We can make that work.” He smiles. Honestly, he assumes that The Inquisitor might have some sort of kink. He’s more than happy to oblige. If the Inquisitor doesn’t clarify what they desire, claiming that they want a baby, Bull watches them closer. He notices small things that make him draw his conclusions. The way his lover holds a small child, how they speak to them, and how sad they look when they have to hand over the child to their parents at the end of the day. He will bring it up in the next few days, and eventually ask them if they want to be parents together, once everything is handled. He wouldn’t mind a kid or two, if his kadan wants it, Bull knows his kadan would be one hell of a parent.

Maker help him if The Inquisitor ends up pregnant, he’s so happy he can’t bother himself by being nervous. Just kidding, he’s super nervous. The Qun doesn’t have fathers, how the hell is he supposed to be there for his kid when he has no idea what kids need?

He needs constant reassurance and ends up going to Krem for advice on taking care of children. Krem had siblings, so he should know… right?

He has his game face on by the time The Inquisitor has the baby, Bull read every single book on childbirth, so he’s basically an expert. He’s all about that counter pressure and breathing techniques, so much so that the midwives are impressed themselves.

Josephine Montilyet:

Platonic: She sighs, one of those dreamy sighs, “Oh I completely understand, well… a little bit. I’m sure having children is much different from having siblings, so I’m certain it’s better.”

She knows the Inquisitor isn’t going just to waltz off and get pregnant or get someone else pregnant. But she does clarify if they want a child right then and there. If they say that they intend to have a child as soon as possible, she may faint.

She’s stressed if the Inquisitor or their partner ends up with a child, and gently encourages the pair to get maybe married. Less of a reputation sting that way. If they refuse, she mentally prepares herself for questions from nobles and a few Orlesian nobles who were interested in The Inquisitor themselves.

Romanced: She smiles, “I would… like that.” She says. She’s come from a big family, Josephine would be a liar if she said she didn't want to have a big family of their own. But then she proceeds to clarify “not right now.”

“I do think about children, but you and I both know what a terrible idea it would be to bring them into their lives now." She also clarifies that she intends to cross a few relationship milestones too.

Leliana: A decade younger, Leliana would’ve been right next to The Inquisitor, cooing over the children they affectionately spoke so much about. But Leliana was older… and admittedly more cynical now. It didn’t help that Leliana was now a spymaster in the Inquisition.

“I… understand, but do try to resist any temptation that points you towards… having any children at the moment.” She says plainly.

Maker helps Leliana if The Inquisitor has children with their partner. She’ll end up frustratingly baby-proofing the entirety of Skyhold.

She’s happy when she finally meets the baby, and she can’t help but soften for a little while as she gazes down at the newborn. Her faith somehow returns and any doubts she had over the Maker disappear, as if there was no Maker, how could something so perfect exist? At least, she thinks that until someone looks at her, then she’s all business again.

Sera:

Platonic: Not interested, or at least, the statement doesn’t faze her. Why would such a badass want little kids? Snotty… annoying… chubby cheeked… super cute- okay, she gets it.

She tells her friend they would probably be a good parent, but would also totally not believe the Inquisitor if they were pregnant or got their partner pregnant. It would only be until she saw The Inquisitor or their partner’s bump that she would accept that maybe they were having a baby.

She loves the kid like a sibling and often offers to make cookies for the baby, not realizing that the baby cannot have solid food for the first few months. She counts down the days when she can goof around with the kid on her own, whenever that might be.

Romanced: Laughs for a while, only to pause when she sees the serious look on her lover’s face.

“You’re serious? You want…” She thinks for a moment before laughing again, “Yeah… I’d want that too! We’d be great mums!” She giggles.

She’s super on board, and would be the “fun mom.” This means The Inquisitor would be the one that would have to discipline the children. But aside from that, Sera’s all over having kids.

Solas:

Platonic: High approval Solas would approve, he would nod and tell The Inquisitor that they would be an excellent parent, that they have the wisdom and patience that would be fit for a parent. He advises them to wait, first, as having a child while Corypheus is still at large is a terrible idea.

Low approval, he kind of just nods. He tells them that they should wait if they intend to have a child, as it’s a bad idea. He doesn’t do much else, no encouragement, just a simple shrug, and sigh. He doesn’t care.

Regardless of approval, if the Inquisitor or their partner ends up pregnant, and Solas is still there, he sort of freaks out. His main concern is the mark and its effect on the child, but once that’s ruled out, he still feels guilty. Hopefully, he leaves before the child is born. Because he cracks when he sees them for the first time. Does he really have it in him to end the world when someone as pure and untouched as that child exists?

It takes some deliberation, but he does. And he leaves, praying he never meets the child ever again.

Romanced: He pauses, were they… serious?

Solas can’t help himself but imagine a life with his vhenan, away from responsibilities, with a few children surrounding the pair. He’d be a liar if that lovely thought didn’t cross his mind when he would steal gazes at his vhenan, but… that’s all it was… right? A thought.

He claims that his vhenan would be an excellent parent, but also ensures that he doesn’t want children, not before Corypheus is defeated. But maybe it’s an accident. He breaks his rule of not sleeping with Lavellan under false pretenses. Once his vhenan is pregnant, his actions depend on The Inquisitor’s dialogue choices. If The Inquisitor were to drink from the Well of Sorrows and then affirm Solas’ choice of fixing the past, he would leave. Not without incredible pain, but he leaves. But if by some chance, by some sliver of a chance, Lavellan says the right things, Solas stays. He hates himself for it, so he promises himself he’ll stay until the birth. Then he looks at his child and weeps. Like if he was platonic, Solas is thrown into turmoil, how could he destroy the world of a child? His child? So he resolves to stay and give up on his mission.

On another note, if he leaves, and Lavellan sees him in Trespasser, he’s more willing to take his vhenan and his child with him.

Varric Tethras:

Platonic: Varric laughs, “Now that would be a twist… The great Inquisitor, changing diapers in between closing rifts and demon fights.” He smiles to himself.

As a dwarf, their fertility is comparatively lower than the other races, and honestly, he never thought of himself as a parent, at least, not until he met and started parenting Cole. Of course, he doubts he’ll ever have his own family, Bianca and he, it would never work out. But he can understand the desire.

He laughs so hard he cries if The Inquisitor or their partner ends up with a kid, like, hunched over, can’t breathe laughing.

He’s nervous for The Inquisitor, though, he knows how hard it is to be a parent, but having a kid while they’re so… important? It’s a recipe for disaster.

Might end up writing the kid out of the story if The Inquisitor requests, maybe The Inquisitor doesn’t want anyone knowing they potentially had a child out of wedlock.

Romanced: Varric doesn’t laugh, he just smiles. He hadn’t started thinking about having a family until he and The Inquistor started going out officially. He nods,

“I’d like that too.” He says, and the pair might find themselves discussing their future more often. Names for future children, where they’d live, does the Inqusitor want a dog?

He reminds his lover that Dwarves aren’t known for their fertility, but reminds his lover that “they can still try” and winks at his lover.

Varric is so caught up in the feeling of being loved so freely, that he sometimes forgets that there’s an evil, red-lyrium magister that wants to rip his lover apart piece by piece. It get’s him nervous, but he’s confident in their shared abilities. And damnit, he loves The Inquisitor, he’s not giving up on them.

He’s speechless if his lover comes up to him and confesses that they’re pregnant, like… actually speechless. He opens his mouth to say something before closing it. Then he just smiles and throws his arms around his lover and says that he loves them. He’s happy to be a dad… he’s happy to have a family, he’s happy to have something he never thought would be his.

Vivienne: She doesn’t laugh, at all. She’s kind of pissed.

“You aren’t planning on bringing in a child now? Not here, right?” She has to clarify.

She thinks the Inquisitor and their partner will be wonderful parents, but they shouldn’t have kids right then. They need to wait.

If the Inquisitor ends up pregnant/getting someone else pregnant, she scolds them fairly harshly, not to be mean or anything, she’s just upset with how “careless” they could be. If the Inquisitor tells her off or, Maker forbid, starts crying, she’ll feel bad. She doesn’t apologize, however, she knows that having a child while the world is still basically in peril and you’re the main person preventing utter chaos is one of the worst things you can do.

However, the second the child comes into the world, she’s all over them. She isn’t obvious and wouldn’t be caught dead with the kid on her own, but she can’t help but smile when she sees them all swaddled or when they look so chubby she just wants to eat them up. Only when she sees what a wonderful parent the Inquisitor is, she apologizes for being harsh. She does it in her way, so the Inquisitor shouldn’t expect an “I’m sorry” or anything, but they will get some sort of comment on how she may or may not have been wrong to judge them. Regardless, the Inquisitor better take what they can get.

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nelvana · 6 months

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A couple months ago now I was fortunate enough to buy a used switch lite from my friend, and even luckier to obtain a copy of Pokemon Scarlet at the local pawn shop at a very reduced price (plus a couple other things but that's not the point rn). So, we go right from the earliest generation of pokemon to the newest back to back, with possibly just as many bugs and glitches, to my gen 9 team!

Team stats and general gameplay info under the cut:

"Nila", Meowscarada, ♀, U-Turn - Play Rough - Flower Trick - Night Slash

"Quaord", Clodsire, ♂, Poison Jab - Earthquake - Liquidation - Megahorn

"Guache", Grafaiai, ♂, Slash - Knock Off - Poison Jab - U-Turn

"Stella", Luxray☆, ♀, Volt Switch - Spark - Crunch - Ice Fang

"Étoile", Pyroar☆, ♀, Flamethrower - Hyper Voice - Swift - Crunch

"Pharle", Farigiraf, ♂, Crunch - Shadow Ball - Twin Beam - Tera Blast

General Playthrough Notes:

Okay look I need to level with you all right off the bat, I don't like the vast majority of the pokemon introduced in gen 9. They feel like such first drafts to me. I normally go into these games with a team plan but this time I literally had two slots missing going in, I just could not think of what to put in there. And I already planned on using two poison-types and two normal-types! Normally I avoid doubling up on types as much as possible! After a bit I used the codes to get a bug-tera mew and a cetitan and was just thinking "I guess they'll be mainstays??"... then I immediately ran into a shiny shinx. Then a shiny litleo. They happened to slot right into the team and I've never been fortunate enough to use shinies in a playthrough (except my soulsilver randomized apocalocke but shhhhh we aren't there yet), so I put them on. But if they hadn't shown up and essentially saved my ass I would have been hard pressed to fill up a team of six (look I literally just used a mew I'm not in a hurry to use it again, at least it's been a couple years since I used luxray in a playthrough).

Anyways, despite all that, I had fun! I knew going in it wouldn't be too difficult and would have its lion's share of glitches, so I was just along for the ride. I like the friend group you form in this game! I like vibing with koraidon as an honorary team member! It's just a pleasant time.

Back to shinies for a moment, overworld shinies without any sound effects to indicate them is evil. I spent so much time staring at groups of pokemon trying to tell if one of them was off-palette. Thankfully, I never ran into any shinies other than the ones I caught.

The raids are neat, though since I don't have Nintendo Online and no frequent enough local players it isn't super interesting with just the npcs. Caught a few neat fellas though, including a steel-tera breloom and a fighting-tera azumarill.

Speaking of, when I first started playing those mewtwo raids were going on and I wanted to participate in them so bad. I barely missed my window, though from what I've heard I wouldn't have stood much of a chance anyway, haha.

I wish there was more post-game other than the raids. I've redone the tournament like half a dozen times now; I wish there was a battle frontier or something. To be fair, I haven't caught all those ruin legends yet; though the one I have caught I managed to get in the first ball, lol.

Do I have the dlc yet? No! I can't just throw around that kind of money willy-nilly. Maybe someday though.

Picnics are really cute though I wish I could pet my pokemon instead of just wash them. Also why can't I sit down on the chairs that are set up around the picnic table??? Still don't really get the sandwich hype, I might mess around with it a bit though, I want to give it a fair shot.

"Hey Nel, why haven't you talked about the Elite Four? You usually start these notes with them?" The E4 is very unremarkable, sorry. I won't bore you by being the billionth person to rag on how Geeta is objectively the worst champion. Also when I rematched all the gym leaders I didn't have to terastilize or heal my pokemon. They were a bit more impressive the first time around tbh. The gym puzzles were neat though!! Except for Tulip's. Fuck her.

Oh yeah, terastilizing is a thing. Mega evolution is still better.

I wanna hang out with my friiiieeeennnds more, both my irl friends and Nemona, Penny, and Arven. It would be so fun to do raids with them or something like that.

Cold take but the uniforms suck I wanna customize my outfit like Nemona, Penny, Arven and Team Star do

(Normally this is where I'd show a screenshot of me finishing the game, but I'm one of the few weirdos who can't use captchas and haven't found another way to transfer files from my switch to other devices. Have a picture of my cat instead; his name is Prince.)

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queenofcoquette · 10 months

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Amy do you have any advice for getting your life together when you're unmotivated to do anything and when you generally feel ucky?

ofc! this is me right now. i'm feeling horrible, like i haven't been this bad in a while. lately i've been feeling disgusting, tired, unmotivated. but even tho i'm going thru it i'm trying to do things that'll keep me feeling a little better, so when this passes i'll be good. here's my tips:

first of all, when it comes to self improvement i think about floating and not swimming. heres what i mean: when you're feeling horrible you just need to float, you don't need to move or swim. like i mean do the bare minimum to stay healthy, and not overwhelm yourself.

let it out. i've cried so much this week, and it's helped a lot. sometimes i struggle with getting myself to cry so i just think about me when i was a kid and i start crying a ton, and it feels really good to let it out.

journalling. i've also been writing down all my crazy negative thoughts, all of them. you might feel a little insane when you do it, but just put it all out there. a lot of times if the paper is super upsetting i'll throw it out later.

preserve your health. this is so important. stay hydrated, keep eating and showering. do those little things to help yourself. it might not make you feel better, but it's important to not hit a self-destructive period. if you feel up to it, workout. at my worst days i make my workout routine a little easier cuz i just feel so exhausted. but on better days i do the whole thing.

do little things. lately i've been reading a few pages before bed, or i've been listening to my favorite records. just little things that usually make me happy. it hasn't done much if i'm honest but it's better than nothing!

coping in a healthy way. find a healthy coping mechanism. to simplify what i'm sad about part of it is moving and how i miss connecticut (yes its very dumb) so i write poems about that time that i mis and i feel a little better.

make a list of what you need to do. i've been stressed for a lot of reasons, but this summer i wanted to do better, and i didn't. i still have a lot i need to get done, so i made a list of what i need to do like ordering a new bed-cover and getting my permit, things like that.

make small changes. lately i've been taking it slowly. reading a little, doing practice permit tests, just little things to get back on track.

of course communication. if you have someone to talk to, talk to them. you might not feel better immediately, but just stay consistent. take care of your health, journal and get to the bottom of why you're feeling that way and just do that. with time you'll get better. take it one step at a time. right now don't worry too much about self improvement, just think about making sure you're ok and then going from there. sorry if this post is super long, i had a lot to say. sending u all the best <3

#queenofcoquette

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gt-jar · 2 days

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About your recent post, I first wanna say that I’ve been obsessed with Two Worlds Among the Stars ever since I first discovered it, and even if chapter 8 is a filler episode I’m sure myself and many others will still love it!

I don’t have too many ideas, but something I’d like to see in the next chapter is Noah’s true feelings starting to shine through, even if just barely. Maybe Noah could begin to realize that he can trust John, even if he doesn’t realize that he realized it yet (that probably makes no sense but I’m not sure how else to phrase it lol). It makes sense (to me at least) for it to be a chapter of slow new beginnings. Some of the stuff I mentioned might work well as a focus for chapter 9, so chapter 8 could be leading up to it.

Also, I completely understand the frustrations that come with having no idea what to write for the next part in a series, it can be VERY annoying. I hope you’re able to overcome this though, and good luck on writing the next chapter! I’ll be looking forward to it, even if it takes longer than usual.

Before I get into detail, let me just say that I'm gonna treasure this ask forever. Everytime I read something like this from one of my readers I want to hug that person so bad, because I'm just so thankful.

Like I said in this post, I don't care if my story isn't seen by hundreds of people, literally doesn't matter to me if my story has 20 or 2000 readers. I care about what my readers think of my story (like every writer) and ofc I'd like to know what they think.

So again...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THIS!

It's a shame that you sent me this as anon (though very understandable), but just so you know... I wouldn't mind seeing you in my dms :)

I also wanna thanks everybody else who left a comment under my last post!

I didn't reply to any of those yet, because here is what I wanna do...

I'm going to list every idea and leave my two cents and... just ramble a bit? You won't believe how much rambling helps when I'm having trouble to write a chapter.

1. Anon:

When it comes to writing the change in Noah's (and John's) character, I like to sorta... sprinkle in little pieces of those changes. Like Noah secretly yearning for affection in chapter 7.

And I think that's exactly what chapter 8 is missing, because in chapter 9 (and the one after that) there's going to be a major shift in Noah's and John's relationship because... stuff happens and things get revealed :) You're in for some sweet hurt/comfort mixed with some fluff. (Super excited to write those two chapters, but being stuck at the one before that aaaaaaahhhhh)

But this shift needs to feel natural. So like you've said Noah's more vulnerable side needs to shine through, but I just... Dont! Know! How! Because while I want/need to sprinkle in one of those small soft moments, it can't be anything major.

For example: Noah yearning for affection -> John figuring that out right away and just giving it to him -> too rushed, doesn't feel natural, boring

So yes everything you've said is true, I just don't know how to write it :')

2. @da3dm:

Someone wandering in and discovering Noah is still alive.

Veeeeeery unlikely. The people from Noah's village don't care about him. He's just another orphan, it's not like they don't have enough of those already. And even if there are some people who took pity on him in the past, they certainly don't care enough to put their on life in danger. All of them "know" what happens when they cross the river, so no one in their right mind is gonna do that anytime soon.

2. @coffehbeans:

John questioning if he is doing the right thing.

Oooohhh boy, trust me John is questioning all of his life choices that led up to this point. He knows their situation is less than ideal, but what other choice does he have? (-> John's pov in chapter 4). He's already going behinds his chief's back by keeping Noah a secret and not immediately informing him about the situation, he won't dig his hole even deeper by bringing the human back and risking that more humans come to his place (or giant territory in general). He's doing damage control, but mostly he's trying to maintain the little control he's left. And let's forget that he's very much sailing uncharted waters.

John encounters someone that will make him question his decision.

I'm curious, who are you thinking of? Because like I said that someone being a human is off the table and a giant standing up for a human? One of John's tribe, that is hiding from Noah's kind? That doesn't care about humanity at best? Most of them might be against killing humans, but that doesn't mean they wanna mingle.

Introducing a character that actually cares about Noah.

I think I need to question all of my writing decisions, if you think John doesn't care :'D

He may not care about Noah on a personal level yet, but he definitely cares about his well-being, even though Noah doesn't get that (yet).

3. @mabelisthebatman:

Someone stops by to visit John.

Let's just say someone is going to visit John (but not in chapter 8), but the situation is not gonna unfold in the way you described. All I'm gonna say is, there can't be comfort without hurt :)

4. @small-but-oho:

John and Noah avoiding each other as much as possible.

Before I start I wanna say how much I enjoyed following your reading process :3 It's always fun to watch someone read my story "live". Absolutely love seeing a user leave a like on every chapter every few minutes, but it's even better when they reblog it aswell and leave a comment in the tags. Also really loved your insight and acknowledging that they both are overwhelmed and deal with raw emotions right now (would love to talk more btw). I think no one else on tumblr pointed that out yet.

As for your suggestions: That would be soooo in-character for them! Noah... for obvious reason, and John just doesn't know how to handle the situation and doesn't want to make it worse. If Noah wasn't sick this totally would've happened, after their "fight" in chapter 6.

I don't know if you read the 7th chapter, but with Noah being sick and acting so different in comparison to his usual self, John is worried and tries his best to help him, because even though they aren't on good terms John doesn't like to see the kid in pain.

To be clear I DON'T wanna belittle any of your ideas, I loved reading every single one of them! I just wanted to ramble (helps me a lot with getting a feel for my characters again after a long writing pause). Sadly I don't get character related asks very often, so I don't have many opportunities to just ramble/infodump/etc.

So again...

THANK YOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!

Didn't really make much process on chapter 8 though. It's still missing something. But I finally figured out where I'm going to place a specific scene (chapter 8) and I thought of something I want add to chapter 9, so I count this as a win^^

#giant/tiny #g/t #g/t community #my-rambling-jar #ask #OC: John #OC: Noah

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yakuzacanons · 9 months

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Hey so suggestion for some hcs if you feel up for it👀 Their s/o giving them like? The sweetest cutest handmade gift for their birthday like it's nobody's business?

And it's special because they're supposed to be like "big scary men rawrrr" or smthn and people never really associated them with more wholesome stuff

Like just imagine gifting Ryuji an adorable plushie you crocheted for him and he's just like?? Holy shit??? Nobody gave me anything that special before in my life???

OMG anon, your brain...your mind. This is such a good idea. I hope you're ready for the longest and fluffiest post cuz I'm about to rip and tear. Also, first submission ever, so thank you so much! Giving you the biggest hug, hope you enjoy this.

Kazuma Kiryu

Honestly will just be stunned upon receiving it. A gift? Made by hand? For HIM?? Unbelievable. He'll feel a mix of surprised and grateful. He might not manage more than just a polite but tender "thank you", but he will immediately envelop you in the biggest hug. Words simply couldn't express how much he loves this gift and how much he loves you, so he'll let the hug say those words for him.

Majima Goro

You can bet he is going to immediately show this gift off to everyone and anyone who is willing to let him in their vicinity. Lots of "Kiryu-chaaaan, look what I got!" or "Kyodai, check this out! Ain't my darlin' just the sweetest sweetheart ya ever did see?". You'll probably feel more flustered than him in the end. He'll also pick you and spin you around with glee upon receiving it. The fact you love him makes him already feel like he's on cloud 9, so a gift like this makes him feel like he's on the moon.

Saejima Taiga

As someone who also likes to make handmade crafts as gifts, he will be totally floored upon receiving it. Will compliment your craftsmanship, even if you feel like you didn't do a great job or made mistakes. Loves the gift so much that he's likely to place it somewhere special in his house. If it's clothes, he'll wear it in front of you as much as possible to show his appreciation. Will give you a big hug and kiss after and will promise to return the favor on your next birthday.

Akiyama Shun

As someone who is NOT at all good at handmade things, he's amazed by anything you make. Even if you consider yourself an amateur, Akiyama is your number 1 fan. If possible, he'll display your gift proudly in his office. Except a flurry of kisses when he sees your gift, he just wants to shower you with kisses because he feels so completely and totally loved by you.

Tanimura Masayoshi

He's super bad at seeing surprise gifts coming so it'll come as a total shock to him. He might think he doesn't deserve something so special, as he's someone who came from very little and doesn't have much. Even so, he'll be so happy that he won't be able to contain himself. He may even jump up and down excitedly while holding your hands. He'll say something like "For me? Really?? Wow!" before giving you a kiss on the cheek, smiling from ear to ear.

Ryuji Goda

It's only fitting that the scariest looking guy is actually the biggest softie when it comes to you. The first time you ever give him a handmade gift, he might be speechless at first. He's used to fancy gifts, things that cost a lot of money, things that are usually bought to impress him. Receiving something made by the person he loves most will make his heart skip a beat. He'll likely scoop you up into his arms and give you a kiss on the forehead. Ryuji is the type of guy who is usually sweeping others off of their feet, so it feels amazing to him to feel that way for once.

Daigo Dojima

He's in a similar boat with Ryuji in that he usually gets gifts that are meant to appear costly to impress him. Secretly, Daigo yearns for genuine connection and understanding, which is why you mean so much to him and why your gift might honestly make him shed a tear or two. Something so heartfelt and loving will stop him in his tracks. As someone with barely any time to really stop and take things in due to how busy he is, moments like this make him feel the most loved. He'll treasure this gift forever.

Niskiyama Akira

He'll try to play it cool by saying something like "Aw, you didn't have to do all that just for me" but inside his heart is beating wildly. Like Daigo, he plays it tough but secretly yearns for tenderness, but unlike Daigo, he will still try to play it cool even in a moment like this. He knows you totally see through him though, so he'll eventually follow his statement up with a a passionate kiss and holding you gently. Moments like this with you give him so much peace.

Mine Yoshitaka

He's so used to standing strong on his own that he won't react for a few moments upon receiving your gift. Mine honestly didn't think he was capable of loving, yet alone being loved. It's something he still isn't used to and may never be fully used to it, but that's never stopped you from giving him your all and it gets him every single time. He may not even speak at all, simply giving you a deep but tender kiss and holding you so very close to him, as if he were afraid you'd suddenly vanish from in front of him.

Tachibana Tetsu

His immediate reaction will be to want to treat you to something nice in return. However, if you make it clear that you did this because you wanted to and because you love him, he'll practically melt with tenderness. He's so caught up with business that everything feels like a transaction to him a lot of the time. Life hasn't dealt him the kindest of cards, and this reminds him that he's not only worthy of love but deserving of it. Things like this make him relish life for all that's good. He may not manage to say much more than a hushed "Thank you" and squeezing your hand in his, but trust me, this means more to him than he could ever express.

#yakuza #yakuza headcanons #yakuza imagines #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku headcanons #ryu ga gotoku imagines #goro majima #kiryu kazuma #akiyama shun #saejima taiga #majima goro #kazuma kiryu #ryuji goda #tetsu tachibana #mine yoshitaka #daigo dojima #masayoshi tanimura #majima megaphone moment

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inventedfangirling · 6 months

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Hi! What r ur thoughts on OhmLeng's Kidnap the series?? I mean we all know Ohm is a great actor and he can have chemistry with a rock if he want. But for some reason the chemistry is unbalanced here?? I might be biased because of my now and forever bad buddy hang over, so I wanted to know your opinion. (This is not an hate ask on the series or ohm, just a genuine question)

First of all, thankyou for asking me that! I didn't know i had this many opinions about the show from that teeny trailer until i wrote this answer hehe.

And to get to my answer yes I kinda get what you mean anon. I also am supremely biased towards ohmnanon's chemistry. That being said i don't think that's the issue here. I just rewatched the trailer again, and idk what they said about the series or if they're adapting this from somewhere, but it really looks like took a bare thread plot and made the trailer and left the actual developing of the story to be done for later. And if that's the case then both actors don't have the entire background and story to give their performances the depth they should have. So it feels like a very surface level performance and not the kinda stuff we know ohm can pull off.

Also I saw this post and in the light of that and the fact that we did not get a kiss in the trailer (not that having a kiss is the be all and end all of a bl or a romantic relationship but still it) makes me wonder if it is in that queerbait bracket after all. What if the showmakers made the trailer in such a way to give us hope but not to guarantee it to us ykwim? Like if you few it from different angles you know you can interpret their actions and their implications in very different ways.

Their dynamic in that scene where ohm is asking leng to take off his brother's gift while having bl undertones, felt more bickering sibling-ey than budding lovers ( i hate that word but i cant think of anything better to use here). That scene right before the end where ohm stretches out his hand to lift leng up and then the nodding with the smiling gave such strong friendship vibes i just could not ignore it. We had the cliche (usually) romantic tending to each other's wounds scene and they ended it on a scene where their faces are super close and towards each other, but that could be the queerbait part of it.

It could also be that the story is all fine and perfect but it's just that as a cast and a pairing they're new to each other and so their chemistry is of course something that cant be compared to what ohmnanon with their years long friendship and acting experience were able to create. Maybe spending more time together working on the project will help iron any and all rough patches out.

So yes long story short i do agree that the chemistry did feel unusual. And i'm mostly attributing it to the actors (and even the showmakers/gmmtv) not knowing which direction to take and just winging it. So for all we know it could be a bl with an excellent romance. Or it could be an unlikely friendship blooming in the midst of adversity story. And ngl, i find the second one far more compelling. There's also the thing that I'd rather watch a kidnappee befriend a kidnapper (however reluctant a kidnapper he was/is) than they become romantic partners. I feel like it could be a much more beautiful meaningful relationship and story that way. But that could also just be the aro-ace in me talking :3

#thoughts have been thunk #hope this made some sense at least lol

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variousqueerthings · 4 months

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according to letterboxd i've watched 261 films this year (not counting un-logged films and the couple of weeks left to go)

so despite being tripped up in my plans by suddenly speedrunning doctor who these last couple of months, it's not been a bad year on the whole:

watched my first horror exploitation films -- "cannibal holocaust" and "last house on the left." I cannot say this genre will ever be a favourite, but there is a fascination to the uncomfortable feeling of realism in both of these

overall I watched much less horror this year, partially because I spent october travelling, so didn't do my usual one-per-day themed watch. out of these "lair of the white worm," (generally want to go down more of a ken russell rabbithole next year) "ravenous," (the best cannibal film that nobody's ever seen) and "nightbreed" (the other clive barker directed, which, listen, it may have flaws but it doesn't I tell you, this is a perfect movie!!!) stood out the most, but was also positively surprised by both "return of the living dead" (which, yes, was schlock, but very enjoyable schlock) and "the ritual" (I was expecting to like the ritual, but not for it to feel incredibly personal somehow -- the underrated of the two horrors I know of about english-speaking tourists with trauma trying to recover in the swedish wilderness, by far my favourite!)

also, finally watched the original "the exorcist" which... argh, you know when people say "this thing is really good" and you go sureeeee whatever, it's ruined by the hype and the way you talk about it makes me think I'm not gonna like it, and then you watch it and it's really good dammit!

also, i was convinced I watched "nope" last year, but it may be this year. I watched it three times this year, and I didn't log it last, so that means I get to go ohhhhh "nope" is just a movie of all time, it deserves the future cult status it's gonna have, I've been yelling about it with @le-red-queen because finally finally someone I know has also watched it why does it feel like my friends are sleeping on this film????

also! "prey"!!!!! ohhhhh the future of horror looks bright! my favourite predator film, including the first one. it made my brain buzz, it was beautiful, it's incredibly blunt statement that the predator is barely a threat compared to rapidly expanding colonialism, the lead's journey is stellar and painful and punch-the-air and... great film

I got to spend a lot of january watching a film festival that centred on movies by indigenous people "from Turtle Island and around the world" (as it says on the website -- definitely and understandably mainly around america and canada). favourite of these was "honey moccasin" a fascinating little comedy movie that maybe predictably hooked me because it also had a queer focus within its portrayal of community

also at a local queer film festival, got to see "wildhood" a movie about a gay multiethnic mi’kmaw teen, who goes on a roadtrip looking for his mother -- think this is probably one that would be difficult to find otherwise, so youknow... check out local film festivals you never know what you'll see!

have gone on several rambles about "great freedom" and "joyland," movies that I watched relatively close together that have basically haunted me all year, acting as comparisons to nearly everything else I've seen -- think they've put ideas about queer stories in my head that are exemplified in a lot of queer writing and avant garde film-making, but often isn't seen on such a big scale, budget and quality-wise (this not to say the small-budget films are less worthy, it was just a bit heady to get to see these two and be blown over by their largeness). also something about a film that takes place in post-wwii germany and a film that takes place in modern-day pakistan feeling like they belong together to me. they're thematic, philosophical, political kin

got to go deeper into todd haynes, with "safe" and "poison" (yes yes we're super late to the todd haynes dive, but sometimes you just want to rewatch velvet goldmine a million times forever, so it takes you awhile to get to his other greatest hits). very excited to watch his latest film, sad i can't see it in theatres

watched quite a few queer documentaries, including "lotus sports club" (about a football club in indonesia run by a trans man, that provides a safe place to lesbians and trans boys), "you don't know dick" (interviews with trans men in the 90s), rose von praunheim's "transexual menace" (a sprawling, seemingly random depiction of trans people in the US -- a million amazing portraits), and "kokomo city" (a documentary about black trans women sex workers, directed by d smith, who is herself a black trans woman, music producer, excellent writer -- the way this movie is edited is so Vivid and you can tell there's so much freedom to really say things than in work that isn't community led. the philosophy, the politics, chatting while in the bath, that familiarity, that openness!)

in more classic musical news, got to see "the court jester" (only mildly a musical), "on the town" and its thematic successor "it's always fair weather," (gene kelly on rollerskates), and fiddler on the roof (finally) -- enjoyed all of them! shockingly low on musicals this year, but I intend to get inspired by @fabiansociety's list for the upcoming one

a few surprises for me were "streets of fire," which I've become mildly obsessed with, for being simply The Coolest Film you never watched as a kid (baby willem dafoe biker gang leader + music written by the guy who wrote for meatloaf and fleetwood mac??) it's just a straightup good time and also did this thing of writing a male role, casting a woman in it, and accidentally giving us a butch lesbian (with a line to make it seem like she had a boyfriend one time, but like... that doesn't take away her butch cred),

and also scorsese's "kundun," which I had no idea what to make of, because it didn't feel like a scorsese film at all. I think I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with scorsese in that I think his movies are frequently gorgeous, but his focus is almost always to the left of the people that interest me (that is, everyone around the white guys with guns who yell a lot). kundun is about the dalai lama and it is. very very anti-violence in its depiction of the invasion of tibet, because the POV is a pacifist who's shielded from seeing the violence, so the three scenes that briefly depict it are all the more shocking. and like... scorsese seems to have been coming at this movie from the perspective of education/plea for the freeing of tibet? which, yay, but... unexpected movie, that is all. also they speak english, although the actors are tibetan, including the grand nephew of the dalai lama portraying the dalai lama (I think this movie shouldn't be in english, but that is very cool). strange film, definitely watched a bootleg dvd copy with a completely wack aspect ratio that I couldn't format on the screen, but sometimes that's how you've gotta see something

a few classics. saw "jeanne dielman" for the first time, then utterly failed to describe it for everyone I talked about it with. I feel like saying "three hour long movie about a woman's repetitive life that is slowly, but surely, about to explode" is... idk, maybe it's going too much into detail. pointing out the static camera, the near-lack of dialogue, the scenes that simply consist of her sitting, and people instinctively go "oh that's a gimmick." but I also think if one can herald something like "orphee" or anything bergman did or "stalker," then this is not so off-putting (I found stalker to be a lot harder to focus on actually, which surprised me considering its subject matter). I know a lot smarter people than me have pointed out that what may truly be disturbing to people is the fact that we're following a life in such detail that isn't considered a valuable/interesting life to follow, especially not for so long. and that is... well that is just our internalised sexism. it's a good movie

this turned out quite long, but wanted to sit with some of these movies for a bit. I'd rec all of them, depending on personal preference and limitations

#i think next year.... well i have a list ofc so there's the list #but specifically east and south asian cinema was quite lacking this year #watched a few favourites + another wong kar wai + joyland but i didnt go as deep as id have wanted to #and then also musicals would be nice #death in the gunj im still gonna see if i can get in this year #there's a few films that also really sat with me that i havent mentioned here because... idk.... indescribable feelings #i also had a point for truffaut but tumblr decided to cut me off after 14 for some reason? wouldn't let me hit post on anything longer so 😂#400 blows and small change were the ones -- movies with a focus on children's rights #literally wouldn't let me write any more within the points either... this is new...#cinema #film #queer cinema #me

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