#i felt like i was 14 and my parents were making me do a sport
Text
Blessed-Cursed
Pairing: Park Sunghoon x Reader
Genre: regency au; isekai au; prince!sunghoon; princess!reader
Summary: Being Crown Princess sounds fun from a modern-day point of view, no? Wrong. Wrong on so many levels. Starting from the fact that you had fight with your hands and legs to do certain things all over to marriage. Yuck. So how do you suppose one acts when their biggest secret is revealed to someone who has the power to have you executed?
Word count: 5.3k
Warnings: sharp objects - swords, arrows, daggers; marriage; mushy stuff; implications of hunting animals; death of a bear by reader's hand; let me know if I missed anything!
Series: Enhypen Regency AU
Pinterest board: <3
Spotify playlist (songs I listened to while writing / had in mind while writing) : <3
~
You didn’t want marriage.
You didn't want to rule beside another.
You wanted to be the Queen who married her nation.
…
What a dramatic way of saying that you wanted to be Elizabeth the First of this world.
Oh. Right. England doesn’t exist in this world. Or like… any other country that exists on planet Earth.
Anyway. Your name is Lim Anestasia of the Lim Kingdom. However… your real name… is y/n l/n.
You do not hail from this world and yet here you are, living in the shoes of a spoiled princess who could get anything she wanted.
Dying really do be a unique experience.
When you first opened your eyes in this body it was ten years old. You cried. You cried for so long. Women dressed in uniforms of what you assumed were maids rushed in to comfort you and help you stop crying. You couldn’t stop. You didn’t recognise anything or anyone. You don’t remember when was the last time you felt so alone. That only made you cry harder. It wasn’t until a woman with beautiful long brown hair and a worried look on her face came in, that you started to calm down even just a slight bit. After all… your brain recognised the woman as your dearest mother. You cried in her arms for a long time, but in the end… you felt so much better. Now you just pretend that day never happened.
You spent the next two weeks in a daze, looking about and recalling all the memories of your past and present life. Then you realised something. There was a whole mediaeval world out there for you to explore… yet you remain stuck within these walls of a cold and almost empty castle… So you set out back to your room and made a list.
As a Queen to be, there were some issues you wanted to settle. Making a list seemed like the right choice. You were ten now so no one would truly take you seriously and this was fine. It gave you time to plot and plan. But first… for the next few years you would indulge yourself and learn some sports you have had the wish to learn back in your day but hadn’t the opportunity to do so.
The list read:
1. Learn how to be a brilliant archer!
2. Learn the art of the sword!
3. Learn how to be a great horseback rider!
4. Teach yourself everything you can about the kingdom!
5. Start taking interest in politics!
6. Settle dominance so your parents don’t try to set you up at 14.
7. Steer clear of men in general
8. Try and turn away as many suitors as possible!
9. More to be added
Grinning to yourself you put away the stationary and folded the paper neatly. You would hide it in your room in one of the many books you owned.
“Mother. Father.” You greeted, approaching them in the throne room, curtsying in your pale green dress.
“Anastasia,” your mother greeted with a smile gracing her face, “What brings you here my precious daughter?”
“I wish to learn archery.”
The King looked horrified.
Archery wasn’t very lady-like after all. Or any kind of sport, really.
“My dear daughter-”
Welp, you thought, time to pull out the big guns.
You stomped your foot and sniffed.
“But Father!” you yelled through the tears, “I wish to learn archery and I wish to do it NOW!”
You sniffed again and softly glared at the man on the throne who looked to be panicking.
“Of course my dearest!” he responded quickly with a wobbly smile.
Well he switched up fast you thought.
“Really?” you switched up as well, deciding to play the role of a shy child, “thank you” you whispered softly, but loud enough for your parents to hear. You curtsied and left for the library where you would read up on the history of your country.
~
As you grew older, you learned more and more.
By the time you were fifteen you mastered the bow, horseback riding and were well into practice with the sword. Your “love” for studying never faltered and you kept at it relentlessly going through tutors at break-neck speed.
When you turned eighteen, you started getting involved in the rule of your land (with the help of your parents, naturally) and continuously impressed them with your knowledge and how mature and ambitious you were. You mastered the art of the sword and started practising with daggers. It seemed fun so far.
~
Other than all of these impressive achievements, you seemed to rather… lack… in the department of social relations.
Due to the fact that you spent a lot of time either with your nose in a book or practising with a new weapon you picked up, you haven’t had the time to make good acquaintances with the children of other royal families or nobles. At most you could say that you and the prince of the Kim Kingdom were close acquaintances. Sunoo was a rather interesting character whom you had not much trouble interacting with. You even occasionally exchanged letters.
Other than him there was princess Yeji of the Hwang Kingdom, but that was limited only to the balls you both attended.
As such, you haven’t had many suitors, which worried your parents and only served to make you happier.
While you were happy as things were, your parents unfortunately were rather persistent.
“My dearest daughter,” you heard your mother sigh for the nth time that month, as you readied your arrow, “you already turned of age years ago, you must at least look for potential suitors…”
You knocked the arrow. Bullseye.
“It is not my fault all of them are too afraid to even speak to me, mother.”
“What about Sunoo then?” she asked and this time you sighed, “How does he speak so freely with you?”
“You know as well as I do that, we do not speak freely with each other. And besides, we’ve known each other for years.”
“My darling Anastasia,” your mother sighed, taking your filthy hands into hers, “for your mother’s sake,” she whispered, “please, look for a fine suitor. I know that there must be someone who will catch your eye this time. Please my darling daughter.”
She knew you were weak to her pleading. Courtesy of your close bond both with your mother in your old life and this one. You agreed.
It was the first mistake you could have made.
~
You honestly didn’t mean to sound so full of yourself when you said that you were probably the best dressed person at the ball for your birthday.
Simplicity is what will most often catch the eye of others, is something you liked to think. This time was no exception.
The dress you wore was a light pink and it reflected the light due to its shiny material. It was long and flowy, which was brilliant because it meant you could move freely, and you didn’t have to wear petticoats. You honestly did love them, but they were, oh so, impractical. The dress had a sweetheart neckline with off the shoulder sleeves. It was tightened around your waist and made your chest look bigger than it actually was, but what annoyed you was that you had to breathe rather shallowly. From the waist down the skirt flowed freely and dramatically.
As they announced your name you walked into the ball with a slight smile and nodded at the present guests before you stepped down the staircase to join the party.
You've managed to stay at the party chatting with anyone and everyone who approached you for a whole hour before your social battery completely died out and you were seconds away from starting to behave like you used to, back home. In the modern world.
“Prince Sunoo,” you spoke to the boy next to you. “Would you mind if I made a quick escape to regain my composure?” you asked with a dazzling smile.
The chubby cheeked boy next to you giggled at how direct you were.
"Why of course, princess Anastasia” he purred with a playful grin, “I shall wait for you here!"
You nodded gratefully at him and swiftly made your way through the crowd and at the back entrance into the beautiful garden your mother loved most.
Sitting down on the grey store bench in front of the small lake filled with water lilies. At least they looked like water lilies.
Sighing, you then placed your fan down onto the seat next to you and reached behind your back to pull on the string which held the corset together and took a deep breath.
Time for my annual rant session, you thought to yourself.
"Marriage" you spat bitterly, allowing yourself to go nuts with anger.
“Why do I have to marry anyone?!? Why is that so bloody important?!" you yelled into the sky, throwing your hands into the air. “Do I have to marry to be Queen?! I mean come on!”
Getting lost in your emotions you failed to realise someone was standing at the entrance of the garden, listening to every word you spoke, slowly making their way towards you.
You groaned loudly as your voice took on a sad, desperate tone.
“Mom… I miss you so much…” you sobbed, “I miss my little sister too… that annoying little stinker…” you sobbed even louder, taking your gloves off to wipe your tears away.
“I miss those stupid gatcha games too” you laughed wetly, “Cookie Run… Genshin… Honkai… both Honkai games actually…” you mumbled the last bit, picking at your freshly manicured nails.
“Why me?” you whispered, sniffing a little.
A crunch of leaves caused you to turn around from your spot on the bench, eyes wide as you faced the intruder.
The man who stood in front of you was possibly the most beautiful man you had ever seen and you knew absolutely nothing about him.
His jet black hair was in rough contrast with his pale complexion. He wore a dark blue waistcoat with golden accents and pure white pants along with knee-deep boots.
His eyes and face was what held your attention at most.
He seemed not to mind your current state, but rather… he looked worried.
You two kept looking at each other, too startled to speak.
Then you remembered what you looked like; mussed hair, undone corset, puffy face and runny nose and you weren't wearing your gloves.
“Are you alright?” he finally spoke, his rumbling and melodic voice sounding genuinely concerned about your wellbeing, extending his hand towards you.
Quickly, you scrambled to stand up, pushing your hand against your corset to keep it in place and responded to him.
“How much did you hear?”
He blinked confused, his hand stopping in its tracks.
“Pardon?”
“I asked;” your voice was high with panic now, “how much of that did you hear?” you felt as though your heart was about to beat out of your chest.
“Is that really that important right now?” a seemingly sly smile played on his lips, his hand gently taking hold of your wrist.
Your heart stuttered in your chest as you made eye contact with him.
It wasn’t simply because you felt attracted to him. On the contrary, attractive men didn't seem to make your heart skip a beat in this life. It was simple enough really; you were scared.
If he was influential enough, could he get you thrown out of the family? Would you lose everything? Again? Your heart wouldn't be able to stand that.
“P… p-please” you cussed yourself silently for stuttering, while a smile grew on his lips at your mistake, “don't… don't tell anyone!”
You yanked your hand out of his gentle hold and ran back into the castle ignoring his stare and completely forgetting about your gloves sitting on the bench.
After you had made sure you were presentable you went back to the ball room only to see that it was only just now in full swing. You took a deep breath and set off to find Sunoo.
“Princess Anastasia!” you heard someone call.
Turning around, you were met with the smiley face of the Crown Prince of the Park Kingdom.
“Prince Jay” you curtsied, extending your hand for him to take, “it is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.”
The tall, blond man grinned as he pressed a kiss to your gloved hand.
“As it is mine Princess.”
Park “Jay” Jongseong. The Crown Prince of the Park Kingdom. He was smart, cunning and straightforward. That was not mentioning how kind and generous he was. Last you heard he was to be married soon before he assumed the throne of the Park Kingdom.
Again with the whole marriage thing…
“I must admit Princess, I only came to introduce myself and wish you a happy birthday with ulterior motives.” he smiled sheepishly.
“Oh?” you grinned playfully, resting your fan on your bare shoulder.
“I am afraid so” Jay laughed, “You see my brother is rather… shy.” he admitted awkwardly and continued, “But he really wanted to wish you a happy birthday, so I thought I would help him out.”
You smiled with soft eyes.
Jay had a younger brother. Well. “Younger” brother.
The circumstances regarding the two were rather unclear as it was never disclosed into the public eye, but the two had such a close bond it felt awful to speculate just about anything. And so, no one ever pried. The two brothers were, after all, the pride and joy of the Park Kingdom.
“How very nice of you” you hummed thinking of your younger sister in your past life.
“I do try” he smiled gently, noticing your reaction.
“Princess Anastasia,” you heard someone behind you.
As you turned around, your eyes widened scarily wide as you made eye contact with the man from the garden.
“I am Prince Sunghoon” he introduced himself with a slight bow of his head, his hand resting against where his heart was.
Lagging behind, you quickly curtsied and offered him your hand.
He took it gently, impossibility so, and pressed a feather light kiss against your knuckles, never breaking eye contact with you.
Jay, noticing what was going on, made a quiet escape leaving the two of you alone.
You were too scared and entranced with the man in front of you to notice anything.
“It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Princess.” he spoke slowly, still not letting go of your hand, but you haven’t noticed that yet.
“Likewise” you awkwardly smiled, your heart beating out of your chest in fear.
Sunghoon's eyes glinted in mischief, which caused you to shift under his piercing gaze uncomfortably.
The music which was playing in the background slowly came to a stop and the man in front of you smiled as he turned to face you.
“May I have this dance, Princess?” he asked, lifting your hand higher in the air.
Meanwhile, your brain was an absolute mess. You had no idea what was going on, what this man was plotting or what he could do if you even looked at him wrong.
He currently has the potential to have you sent away.
You couldn’t take that chance.
“Yes,” you spoke slowly, “you may.”
With a bright smile, the tall man led you over to the dance floor.
All eyes were on you as for the first time ever, you joined someone other than your father for a dance.
You were anxious and terrified.
The man opposite you stopped somewhere off the centre of the dancing area and faced you properly.
His gentle smile was throwing you off track and you couldn’t focus on anything but trying not to tick him off.
Letting go of your hand, he placed it on your waist and took your other hand, while you placed a hand on his shoulder.
His giddiness at your action didn’t miss you and it made you nervous.
“Why do you look so nervous, Princess?” he asked with a grin.
Offering him an awkward smile you responded.
“Ah, no! It’s just…” you began as the music started and Sunghoon gently pulled you into a slow waltz.
“I’ve never danced like this with anyone but my father…”
The dark haired man nodded thoughtfully.
“My mistake,” he smiled, twirling you with a mesmerising smile on his face. “I thought it had something to do with our fateful meeting in the garden.”
Had you not returned back into his arms, you are sure you would have fainted.
“Speaking of which,” he continued as if he hadn’t noticed your discomfort, “you left something back there.”
You looked up at him with panicked eyes, not noticing his blush as he recounted the events.
If he says something to someone I’m doomed! You panicked. What did I even leave?!
“I took the liberty of taking them so I could hand them to you now” he spoke, as if your whole world hasn’t turned upside down.
Plural?! You wanted to scream.
“Them?” you couldn’t help but voice.
“Yes…” he hummed bashfully, as he leaned down to whisper into your ear, “You left your gloves behind Princess…”
Cold sweat broke out all over as you remembered what that means in this world.
Much like that one scene in Jane Austen’s book "Pride and Prejudice" with Mr. Darcy and Ms. Elizabeth, touching a lady without her gloves presented an extremely intimate act in this world.
You cussed internally.
At this point, you weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or cry.
“I will leave them in the corridor once the crowds dissipate” He continued, not minding the eyes which were trained on your forms, “You just make sure your maids find them.”
Oh, so, conveniently, the song and dance ended and Sunghoon disappeared into the crowd just as quickly as he had appeared, but not before placing another kiss on the back of your hand.
You liked to think what had happened during your birthday hasn’t affected you.
~
That is a lie.
It has.
You just pretend it didn’t.
After the dance, your mother sent you questioning glances, but you avoided them like the plague until she stopped.
There was another issue, however.
You suddenly began noticing him. And he was everywhere.
A birthday celebration of a noble? He was there.
A charity event for the children of the Lim-Kim region? He was there.
Tournament competition in arts and such? He was bloody there.
And if he could manage to sneak in a dance he would. Every. Single. Time.
At this point, the only time you didn’t see him is when you were avoiding everyone and camping out in the library or in your room.
~
As summer passed and made way for fall, the Lim Kingdom started preparing for the bi-annual Huntsmen Competition.
The bi-annual Huntsmen Competition was held by the Crown for the nobles and other royals of the lands to show off their skills and gain public favour.
A problem has risen this year though…
“We cannot hold the Competition in the Twilight Forest this year” the King announced. “The animal sources are scarce and we risk endangering the ecosystem if we continue to hunt there.”
After much begging and tantrums, he had finally let you participate in these talks. And in the competition, of course.
I'm going to wipe the floor with those losers, you cackled internally, before focusing back onto the conversation at hand.
“... so in line with that I would recommend the Fiery Forest in the south.” one of the older councilmen huffed out.
"That wouldn't be a smart decision" you hummed in reply, looking at the map, "I propose we request the Kim Kingdom to collaborate using the Spring forests we share at our borders. Our relations are better and they won't try to use this to their advantage.”
Your father and everyone else at the table looked lost for words, before turning to the map in front of them.
“My god, she’s right!”
“Who would have thought?”
Briefly, you saw your father's proud expression as you participated in the conversation even more than before.
~
Being fashionably late is probably your favourite thing to do in this world. And as the Crown Princess, no one had the right to comment on it.
You strutted toward your tent feeling eyes on your figure.
Why wouldn't they be staring at you anyway?
You were wearing mens attire.
The pants you wore were fitted and black, squeezing around your waist. Tucked into the pants was your favourite flowy white shirt and hanging off your hips was a majestic bastard sword. That was not to mention your favourite bow waiting for you in your tent.
As soon as it was time to set off into the forest, you took the reins of your black horse Stormy and got going when you heard the sound of the horn.
Riding on the back of the horse, you fired arrows, as soon as you caught sight of a moving hide.
By the end of it, you weren’t the best, but you were third best.
You also couldn't help but notice how Prince Sunghoon smiled the brightest when you approached the third place podium.
That was your second mistake.
~
The last time you were in a daze was when you were ten. It's been so long since then that you've forgotten just how easily the feeling creeps up on you.
“Princess Anastasia,” his gentle voice shook you out of your reverie, “It's delightful to see you again.”
You didn’t turn to face him, choosing to only lift your fan up to your face.
��Likewise” you quickly responded, finding that this time you didn’t quite find his mere presence bothersome.
The man hurried to walk in step with you.
“Princess,” he called and the title suddenly felt a lot more like a term of endearment from your past life, “you always say that, yet I feel as though you do not mean it as truthfully as I do.”
You kept quiet, wondering how you could even respond to such a claim.
“You enjoy nature I presume?” he quickly changed the subject. “It seems that every time you and I see each other it is in the gardens.” he smiled softly.
You were currently taking a break from all of the hard work you were putting into studying and practising.
As a little treat, you thought you could visit one of the more popular gardens in the Kingdom of Lee. They were, after all, most popular for their wide arrangement of flora.
And these flowers and plants never ceased to take your breath away and heal your eyes at the same time.
“Oh… yes, I suppose I do…” you hummed, “It’s rather… calming. I feel at ease to think and the colours soothe my eyes.”
The beautiful man next to you nodded and hummed, looking at you as if encouraging you to speak more.
“You see, I do enjoy reading all the books our library has to offer, but my eyes do hurt after spending too much time in my study…”
“You have your own study?” he asked with an intrigued spark in his eyes.
When you looked at him, you were taken aback by the sheer boyishness radiating from that expression, that you felt the back of your neck heat up.
“I-” you stuttered, “I do. I mean-” you turned away from him swiftly to catch yourself, “As the future Queen, I must ready myself for the incoming troubles of ruling the Kingdom and be a respectable ruler.” you explained.
His head cocked to the side, almost reminiscent of a pupper.
“You do not plan on sharing those burdens with anyone?”
You eyed him.
“You mean marriage?” you spat out the last word venomously. “I will refuse it for as long as I can. Besides,” you huffed, forgetting yourself, “it’s not like I met anyone worthy of marrying me.” you crossed your arms over your chest.
A snort sounded from next to you and you turned startled towards Prince Sunghoon. He held his hand up to his mouth, eyes wrinkled into crescents and he was slightly turned away from you.
“I-” he laughed lightly, his face twisted to make room for his wide smile, “I do not mean to laugh at your- It is only- the delivery-” he kept giggling, unable to finish a single thought.
You only stared at him in awe, your opinion of him changing subconsciously.
“You Highness, Prince Sunghoon,” a butler called from behind you, “Your brother has requested your presence back in the castle.”
“I will be right there Ian,” he said, before turning to look at you, with an impossibly tender look in his eye, “I hope we see each other like this again” he spoke as he took your hand to place a kiss on it, “I had a great time and I hope you did too.”
And then he left.
It felt like a part of you left as well.
~
You have found yourself caught up in Prince Sunghoon’s- or rather, as he insists- Sunghoon’s arms, interlocked into the second dance of tonight.
The ball was a celebration of the spring solstice.
How you ended up in the dark-haired prince’s arms you also couldn’t quite remember.
You also didn’t realise just how funny he was whenever he talked back and you never realised your love for bickering.
You were having the time of your life.
People were sending you odd looks, seeing you enjoying yourself with the second Park son, seeing as you only ever spent time with the youngest Kim prince and even that was reserved.
But now, you were giggling, laughing and you just couldn’t keep your mouth shut.
Another plus to having Sunghoon’s company: no one was approaching you for mindless small-talk and mentions of marriage.
The Lee castle was beautiful but…
“I heard the Lee’s have the most beautiful garden…” Sunghoon told you with a mischievous sparkle in his eye.
He didn’t have to finish his thought. You already knew what he meant as he extended to you and you accepted it without another word.
Your baby blue dress fluttered behind you as you walked down the halls with Sunghoon, both of your shoes clacking against the marble flooring.
The dress had a deep V-neck and the sleeves extended past your hands, although it added to the snowy princess look.
This time, the maids took extra precaution to cinch your corset and if you couldn’t breathe then, you certainly couldn’t now that you saw the garden.
The snow had freshly melted and there were faint traces of buds all over the trees and plants.
But most of all the night sky seemed to take the cake.
“The moon looks beautiful tonight, doesn’t it?”
You turned towards the man who had made your night.
Sunghoon was not looking at the moon. His eyes looked as if someone had stolen all the affection in the world and put it in his eyes.
He looked beautiful being bathed in the moonlight. His pale shin was seemingly illuminated by the moonshine, a perfect contrast to his all-black attire.
“My…” you began, your head feeling as if it was stuffed full of cotton, “My real name is y/n.” you spoke before you could realise what you just said.
He looked stunned.
Then his hold on your hand tightened as suddenly words started tumbling out, past his soft lips, explaining his predicament in his family and his relationship with them.
He looked so vulnerable. You thought you looked the same way as well.
You pulled your hand back, out of his gentle hold, and he looked as if you had ripped his heart out of his chest. You merely pulled your gloves off, threw them somewhere behind you (which had pulled out a choked laugh from him) and you raised your arms to wipe the tears from his glass-like face.
He shuddered feeling your skin on his face and you shivered feeling his breath against your hands.
“I’m sorry” he let out as he enveloped you in a passionate embrace.
This, after all, was not appropriate for two people who weren’t engaged to be married.
~
The bi-annual Huntsmen Competition in the spring was, oddly enough, the most anticipated event of the season.
You supposed it had something to do with your appearance.
Hence, you practising day and night, night and day, to attempt to get the first place this time around.
Also, you knew Sunghoon was participating in this event and you want to impress him-
Ah right.
It is too early for the list of participants to have some out, so… how do you know?
Truth is, Sunghoon himself told you.
A development which had happened since the Spring Solstice Ball was that you and Sunghoon had started exchanging letters with what was going on in your lives lately.
It made you unnecessarily giddy and you couldn’t hide this from your nosy mother who realised you were getting letters every other day as opposed to once every two to three months.
She was, needless to say, thrilled.
But that wasn’t important right now.
What was important was winning the competition to impress Sunghoon- no y/n stop.
This time around, the senators decided to change things up a little: they added an animal which automatically secures the huntsman first place. The animal in question is a grizzly bear. Yeah. A grizzly. It surprised you too.
You were hoping to catch the biggest fish.
Also, this time you planned on showing up in a proper fancy riding outfit, fit to a prince.
You were rather petty like that. And your ass looked brilliant in those pants.
You seriously didn’t have enough opportunities to wear trousers.
~
Arriving late, you hopped off your inky black horse, feeling eyes on your form once again.
You wore tight white pants with a sporty waistcoat with gold and dark blue accents. And you felt magnificent holding your sword at your hip.
Subconsciously, your eyes wandered, looking for a particular someone, but you couldn’t see him. A frown tugged at your lips, but you quickly stopped it and smiled as you usually would, making your way to your tent to get ready.
~
By the time you had gone into the forest you still didn’t get to see a particular someone’s endearing smile and dimples.
Hunting brought you more peace than you thought it could. You languidly shot at moving animals - birds mostly- and looked for the grizzly.
Why draw something out for longer than it should be?
You were lost in your own head when you heard a scream.
Quickly you turned your horse around and towards the scream.
You were surprised, however, when you ran into Sungoon, appearance dishevelled, leaves and small sticks stuck in his hair and clothes, horse gone.
Looking him in the eye, you saw him breathing heavily, eyes wide in fear, before he flinched at the loud roar the bear behind him let out.
Before you could even realise what had happened, you drew your bow and knocked four arrows at the bear and it fell over with a cry.
You and Sunghoon though, just gazed at each other. He stared at you as if you had just promised him the world, and you, from your position on your horse, bow still in hand, looked at him as if he had just told you the secrets of the whole world.
You were startled from your romantic gazing when a horn sounded, both of you looking in the direction of the trees.
“Marry me” you said before you thought better of it.
~
To say that this bi-annual Huntsmen Competition had the best ending party yet, would be an understatement.
Everyone danced and drank as you happily held hands with Sunghoon, right in the centre of everything, celebrating what would be the best event of this life yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My dearest girls: @ch3rryc0smos & @janaicetea
if anyone wants to be a part of the taglist send an ask <3
#park sunghoon#sunghoon#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x you#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x you#regency au#Enhypen Regency AU#❄️.works.#❄️.fics.
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15 questions for 15 friends
Thanks @fangeek-girl for the tag! <3
1. Are you named after anyone?
Nope!
2. When was the last time you cried?
Hmm 🤔 I'm not sure tbh, maybe last week? Two weeks ago? Less than a month most likely. Just felt bad about myself and had a good cry.
3. Do you have kids?
No kids, nor do I want any.
4. What sports do you play/ have you played?
Dance (contemporary and a bit of modern jazz) when I was a kid but I didn't learn much even though i started when i was 3 or 4 i think, and did maybe 8(?) years of it.
Circus for 9 years.
Taekwondo for 2 years (I think you're supposed to be a yellow belt after only two years but my teacher gave me the blue belt so 🤷 guess I'm a blue belt).
Self defense for 1 year.
And ski and snowboard since I grew up in the alps though I barely took any classes, mostly just with my parents.
(☝️ This is making me look super sporty even though I'm really not lol)
(+ all the sports I had to do in PE class in school. I really liked rock climbing, orienteering and step aerobics)
5. Do you use sarcasm?
All the time!
6. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Either clothes or hair I think? I'm not very observant or a good judge of character so it has to be something obvious.
7. What's your eye colour?
Blue 🧿🧿
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings! I don't really like scary movies, though I love suspens and action that get you on the edge of your seat.
9. Any talents?
I have pretty fast reflex? Not sure that's a talent but I'm good at games where you have to catch something or put cards down faster than the other players. Actually I'm good at board games in general (unless I'm playing against my brother, he's way better that me).
10. Where were you born?
In the french alps 🇨🇵🏔
11. What are your hobbies?
Reading (I wish it was more books (it used to be) but honestly most of the time it's mostly fics), playing video games, sewing, knitting, crocheting, random arts and crafts that I'll drop a week later, watching movies and going to the cinema, astronomy (mostly just stargazing so far but one day I'll buy a telescope), playing board games, travelling (does it count as a hobby?), daydreaming about star wars characters...
12. Do you have any pets?
Sort of? I've always had cats at my mom's house but since I moved out it's mostly my mom's cat? But it's also mine and my sister's. Idk it's our cat.
(My mom also has a dog but that's her dog, not mine)
13. How tall are you?
169 cm (which is 5'6" or 5'7" i think)
14. Favourite subject in school?
Maths and Latin
(I was also very good at physics but I didn't love it for some reason, even though that was the most interesting)
15. Dream job?
Prop guy or costume maker in movies (not the designers, the people who actually make the stuff). Or somehow living off of making cosplay and stuff like that (through YouTube and Instagram I guess).
(I'm not actually trying to do any of that though, I don't think I have the skills to do it)
I'm tagging @grapenehifics @piecesofeden11 @willameena @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart @renlyslittlerose @cottonraincoat @to-proudly-go @kingdomvel @desmothene @hausofroxann @amadwinter @ineffable-snowman @tideswept @sendpseuds @yourfavoritefridge
(No pressure of course, as always)
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thanks for the tag @foxymc!
1. Named after anyone?
Nope :D
2. Last time you cried?
anxiety attack brought on partly by homework and partially from getting Invisalign and not vibing with how it felt in my mouth last tuesday :D
3. Do you have kids?
i have a son, he is a stuffed dinosaur from target i named Gerard. i share custody and co-parent with another friend. he looks like this + a grey shirt with dinosaur patterning and a green jacket over top that we bought him at old navy
4. What sports do you play/have played?
i took karate for 3+ years, quit because i didn't want to take the 5 hour blackbelt test, and now i'm on a synchronized swimming team, which was genuinely the best decision i have ever made, highly recommend the experience
5. do you use sarcasm?
whenever applicable, i like it a lot :)
6. First thing you notice about people?
general behavior, what are they doing? how do they act? should i interact or avoid?
7. Eye colour?
hazel-ish brown, though i've been told several times they look almost red in the right lighting
8. scary movie or happy ending?
scary movie all the way give me The Horrors
9. any talents?
nothing too special, i'm pretty generic
10. where were you born?
Minnesota dont'cha know :D
11. hobbies?
reading, writing, drawing, the basic lmao. i also really like analyzing horror games and movies, or anything that catches my interest
12. any pets?
leopard gecko, his name is Rusty and he is The Idiot ever but i love him anyways, and a Lhasa Apso mix (dog) named harry because when i got him he was very hairy lmfao
13. How tall are you?
5'3 on the dot, i'll kick ur shins
14. favourite subject?
English/language arts all the way it's the only class i get to read and write about interesting stuff
15. dream job?
something outdoors that i can do with my hands lmao, hopefully working with animals or wildlife in some way? something that won't make me want to put my head through a wall.
tags! i'm gonna tag @flunkett and @rain-is-cool :D hey guys
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15 questions ask/tag game!
Thanks for the tag from to @dotr-rose-love! I previously did this one for both Jamie and Yael from Secondhand Origin Stories and my WIP Names in Their Blood, so this time I'll choose Opal!
1. Are you named after anyone?
I did have a like great-aunt-once removed named Opal, but I think my parents just thought my bio-lights reminded them of Opals, which I think is nice.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Probably whenever I last felt like I was in over my head with superhero training. I'm the least trained person here by almost 10 years. Nobody is trying to make me feel bad, it's just frustrating and embarrassing.
3. Do you have kids?
Absolutely not.
4. Do you use sarcasm?
Maybe a little. It makes my girlfriend laugh, at least.
5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Their attitude. Anything else is secondary to what kind of energy they're bringing towards me.
6. What’s your eye color?
Black.
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings. But sometimes romantic tragedies, to. My best friend from back home loves horror movies so I've watched a ton of them. I always feel fine during the movie and then freak myself out about it later.
8. Any special talents?
Just the usual Detroit line of genetic alteration.
9. Where were you born?
Detroit, Michigan.
10. What are your hobbies?
I like reading, especially gothic romances. Back at home I volunteered at the community garden. I also collect stationary. Lately I've got this beautiful antique dollhouse I've been fixing up. That's mostly just because trying to decorate the huge penthouse apartment they gave me for joining the team is terrifying. I'm more comfortable picking out tiny doll furniture.
11. Have you any pets?
I always wanted a cat, but my mom wouldn't let me, and now it seems irresponsible to get a pet like that because of superheroing.
12. What sports do you play/have played?
You can't really play regular highschool sports with genetic alterations. I guess technically I'm learning martial arts now, but that's work more than play.
13. How tall are you?
About 165cm.
14. Favorite subject in school?
English. But I also liked History.
15. Dream job?
Pro superhero with the Sentinels. So, I'm there!
I'll tag @thatndginger, @andromedaexists and @tate-lin
#ask games#tag games#writeblr games#15 questions#Second Sentinels#Opal Flynn#Names in Their Blood#Secondhand Origin Stories
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15 Questions 15 Mutuals
tagged by @this-writer-needs-coffee !
1. Are you named after anyone? I have no clue, apparently my mom liked the name Nichole but my dad vetoed so I am what I am now, no reason or explanation provided.
2. When was the last time you cried? oh man, yesterday. I have a lot going on in my life right now that isn’t very savory (severe chronic pain, some new responsibilities that feel beyond me, the slow decline of my last living relative who I have a complex history with). So my capacity for interaction or helping people is really really low most days and it’s just hard.
Because sometimes in fandom there’s like this unspoken feeling of ‘if we’re mutuals we must reblog and comment and interact with everything each of us does’. And like I wanna be supportive but I can’t turn fandom into a job, I can’t feel obligated to come up with Big Thoughts on everything, I can’t even make myself read meta rn because my brain is just on empty. All I can do is write because writing is disassociation time for me.
So I just felt stressed and awful and had a little freak out about it, I guess.
3.Do you have kids? No, no thank you, not for me!
4.Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes. Too much, maybe.
5.What sports do you play/ have played? I don’t really do sports in a traditional sense. I was never on a team growing up, I never learned how to play any kind of ball games.
I guess if you consider jousting, mounted medieval combat/archery, and barrel racing sports then yeah, I do that.
6.What’s the first thing you notice about people? Hands! Like what do they do with their hands, do they fidget do they gesture? Do they have nice nails or are they chewed? Whether someone’s hands are taken care of says a lot to me so I’m always checking that out.
7.What’s your eye colour? Hazel with some fairly big amber discolored spots in them.
8.Scary movies or happy endings? Both! I’ll watch most anything.
9.Any special talents? I pick up most crafts pretty easily I guess. And I can open any jar despite having small hands.
10.Where were you born? In a hospital while my parents watched football.
11.What are your hobbies? Writing fic, 15th/16th century sewing projects. I don’t love gardening but I don’t hate it either, I take care of my plants as best I can. Going to art museums and traveling.
12. Do you have pets? Yes, my horse who lives with his boyfriend about 15 minutes from me.
13.How tall are you? 5′5
14.Favourite subject in school? I didn’t like anything in school haha I was able to read way beyond my grade level starting from first grade and I had severe undiagnosed adhd, so I hated it all. I just wanted to read the passages by myself, fill in the worksheet, and then read my own book instead of keeping pace with the rest of the class. I don’t think I enjoyed a single moment of school.
15.Dream Job? I do not aspire to labor haha If I could support myself doing some kind of creative projects that would make me so happy, but it would have to be stuff I choose and not commissions. I did commissions for a long while and dealing with people is so hard when they want stuff that isn’t really what you want to be making. Or working in a museum, I would enjoy that a lot.
Tagging: anyone who wants to do it, consider yourself tagged!
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15 questions + 15 friends
(tagged by @grandahsoka ) aw thank you! Hi!
Read on for some questions about me!
1. Are you named after anyone?
Technically my middle name now is after my stuffed rabbit Owen bunny :)
2. When was the last time you cried?
I watched Lord of the Rings (extended edition) the other night and I always cry at Arwen and Aragorns scene on the bridge. So probably then?
3. Do you have kids?
No I don’t have children currently. I have very complex feelings about it all. I love kids, I wish more than anything that I felt like I lived in a world where that was more attainable. But no, no kids for us. Even if I could afford to I am not going to bring them Into this world the way it is.
Plus I already spend my entire life parenting my self and my sister. Oye yeah as I said, complicated feelings.
4. What sports do you play/have played?
I played a ton of sports when I was really young. Soccer, volleyball, basketball, track, cross country, gymnastics, ballet, anything that would keep me at school and not at home. But when you had to start paying more for the sports In middle school, I couldn’t afford it with my babysitting money anymore so I switched to theatre and arts which I also loved. Then I was in color guard and marching band in high school.
5. Do you use sarcasm?
Rarely. I use it in ways I’ve heard others use it, like a mimicking their own language way. But I don’t usually create my own sarcasm unless I’m interacting with someone who uses it a lot on a regular basis and I am trying to interact with them in a way that makes it easier. Like sarcasm as a social coping tool 😅 helps me blend in lol
I just find sarcasm leads me anxiety. I end up worrying about if they understood how I meant something, I’d rather just be straightforward as much as I possibly can be to avoid miscommunication.
6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Usually how they’re holding themselves; Like I’m trying to do an emotions scan. The next thing I notice is eye contact or lack thereof.
I feel like I just instinctually look for sign of distress or discomfort in people before anything else 😅
7. What's your eye color?
Brown
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Movies - Same same same! @grandahsoka
Books - Huge weak spot for Happy endings.
9. Any talents?
I suppose I am extremely empathetic and enjoy helping and advocating for others. I have tried to really hone that skill as much as I can in my life. Oh and organization I suppose. 🤷
10. Where were you born?
Michigan
11. What are your hobbies?
Reading, Writing, and I try to cross-stitch and do handicrafts when I’m feeling up to it. Does cooking count? I’m starting to really enjoy working on making our family cookbook and trying new recipes :)
12. Do you have any pets?
YES! Our precious Mr. Lizard! His name is Zorp and he is our scaley baby.
13. How tall are you?
5'7 ish?
14. Favorite subject in school?
English, I always loved reading and escaping to other worlds and learning and meeting all these people and friends! When I started being able to write my own friends and stories that was huge for me.
Then when I was older I really liked analyzing lots of different written works, different worlds and cultures. I just, really enjoy a good story, filled with emotions and meaning.
15. Dream job?
Well fuck, who knows? I always wanted to be a teacher, but the reality of that in this world is very different from how it would need to be for me to be comfortable with that being my daily reality. That is a topic for another time though or we’ll be here all day.
Now my dream job is a place where I can make money and to feel like I am doing work that makes a difference in peoples lives and doesn’t suck my soul out of my body (as much as a job could possibly not do that). The less social interaction, more outside time and more money the better but 🤷
But all things considered my current job is as close as I feel like I will get to a dream job for me in this world. Especially now that I work from home!
My husband @blueforester was tagged with me and if he does it as well we will definitely have overlapping tags but that’s okay! Hi hi lovely mutuals (no-pressure tags genuinely) : @lilacs-world @saintends @archonburger @bogwisdom @slormp
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@woodswit thank you tagging me and yea this is abt me
1. are you named after anyone?
Yes I am, my mother names me after a famous Russian song writer Nikita bogoslovskiy ( not Russian lol so it was that was the reason why) but I like it as it mean victorious, or leader to victory
2. when was the last time you cried?
6 months ago, it's generally a pattern I do one big cry maybe a whole day or whole afternoon just silently im not really a sobber, unless im forced to talk about it then I guess its more obvious that im crying otherwise a watery esque eye my eyes doesn't get red, You really wouldn't have guess anything, which at times can be sucker since if it was a bit more obvious the ppl around me would ask even if i would have denied it. But that would have still felt nice. But since they usually cant tell and is being completely normal i just feel like i should go along with it, and then the next day its over i do try to cey again but i just cant, i always think i cried it out so theres nothing more and then when 6 months comes in the cycle continues. It's not necessarily healthy, but you know what, whatever,
3. do you have kids?
No, and thank God, right now I'm just not in the mental state or maturity level to look after, provide for another human,
In saying this I do want to have a child, 2 :D, but I want to be mentally capable, and have enough finance saved to create the village that my child would have, (baby sitters, night nurse, travel nanny, doula care, my afterbirth message therapy, postpartum in home care helping with cleaning or making meals) though I may not use these services I want money there so that if need it it'll be there in case of post partum depressiob, I work in childcare some parents and colleagues i work with do not have any help, or only grandparent help and that can also be taxing on the parents not necessarily financially. So it can be emotional struggle and which could lead to a strain in the emotional and physical relationship between the couples,, which I see can at times turn into into resentment when you think your partner is not doing enough, or not feeling supported. Which can lead to feeling too overwhelmed and not being able to enjoy being a parent ( like I don't understand why some ppl say have usually boomer grandparents say have back to back children and in the next 5 years it'll be easy and calm like what about during it, and also why do I want to struggle or look back and not have too fond memories like that never made sense 2 me
so yea before having a child I know I want money saved to cover all these for atleast the 8 months before even thinking of a having a child, I mean in my culture grandparents will look after and stay with with with mother for atleast 6 months to look after both child and mum but still for safety sake.
This was a really long statement lol
4. what sports do you play/have played?
Hockey, netball, tag rugby
5. do you use sarcasm?
Yup. It's the best
6. what's the first thing you notice about people? Whether or not they're performing or being genuine.
7. what’s your eye color? Brown
8. scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings get nightmares
9. any talents? Artistic creations, and cooking I'm very good :D
10. where were you born? Kuwait
11. what are your hobbies? Social media, sculpting with, creating art in many different ways, music i can literally drive for hours, just before reaching home i go the longest way possible, i also enjoy going for a walk when its windy for an hour or more, i want to do wood carving, and forging a knife, and learning to sow and create beautiful clothing
12. do you have any pets? Yep had two and one died
13. how tall are you? 5'3
14. favorite subject in school? History
15. dream job? Teacher for right now, im working on it now, and possibly a professer in the future
Tagging my mutuals i wanna know
@qinaliel @riahchan @trinuviel @tuesmonoxymore @inlovewithastark @tiny-little-bird @timeforwolvies @tubbylita @nutellaninja0001 @thelawyerthatwaspromised @fedonciadale @ben-barnes-is-my-husband @mediiciis @israfel00 @rissa-rey @yol101 @kitnjon
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15 Questions for 15 Mutuals
as tagged by @vault-heck <3 thank you friend, I hope you're doing well these days! tagging @edaworks and @perfectlypreservedpie @persephotea @truebluemeandyou @bokatan @aviatorfics @wolfbirbisme @khazrablood @kremvhstooth
1. Are you named after anyone?
My name is a bit of an "oof". In a sentence my mom was raised by Very Strict Irish Parents and she had me at 18. They disowned us after I was born; my name is her mom's middle name and my middle is the fem version of her dad's name. I have mulled over changing it because we don't have a relationship with them - it's fairly unique being an Irish name and I find myself resigned to it. TMI moving on lmao
2. When was the last time you cried?
I cry every time my girlfriend goes home :'D
3. Do you have kids?
I have PCOS and will hit 30 next year - I likely will never have my own but I am open to adopting :) I really love kids.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
I invented sarcasm
5. What sports do you play/have you played?
Judo
6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?
I notice.. a lot - I am... observant about people, to use a word. Whether you feel awkward or standoffish or open or not. I don't know how to describe it. Perhaps it is a body language thing.
7. Eye color?
Bright blue - kind of like the lighter part of a blue portal from, well Portal
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Why not both? :D
9. Any special talents?
One thing my girlfriend mentioned is I can pick people apart like a lawyer can. I can figure out fairly quickly what someone's damage is and put someone in their place. This sounds like an evil skill, but the best way of putting it is I am not going to be dishonest if you act holier than thou or if you think you're special and better than others, and you need to be told to sit down. An example of doing this for good is standing up for people, especially if someone is being punched down upon. If you enjoy being a bully to others in fandom spaces because you feel most comfortable when you're an expert and can control the conversation, and that self perception being questioned is such a problem you think you're being attacked (yet do nothing when a less popular account than yours gets a ton of hate for days while you get headpats from your minions), I'm gonna send an anon about it. Bullies tend to be insecure nerds and I will do my best to call them out behind the scenes.
10. Where were you born?
Atlantic Canada
11. What are your hobbies?
I write Long Time Running on AO3. I am a really big music fan and am a bit of a historian for punk music. I really love my plants - I collect primarily aroid species such as philodendron and monstera but I also really miss traditional gardening. The goal is to get a fraction of a piece of land sometime in the next few years so I can have a proper garden space again. Woooo compost :)
12. Do you have any pets?
I do not and I wish to! I can claim my partner's cockatiel, Darwin. We video chat and it's funny - he and I have intense whistling conversations and he understands I exist but he doesn't conceptualize that me existing through the phone doesn't = me being in the same room. So he tries looking around the phone to see if I am there. Poor baby
13. How tall are you?
5"2. Tiny terror
14. Fave subject in school?
I felt most seen by Language Arts/English. My fourth grade teacher let me read the Lord of the Rings trilogy for a book report instead of telling me I had to choose just one for a book report. I am hopeless if I am not writing
15. Dream job?
Everyone asks me what I wanna be when I grow up, everyone asks me what I wanna do for a job. Nobody asks me if I want to work or not. I don't. I want to be a househusband for my girlfriend and I want to make her lunch and keep her house clean. This said, I am in school to be a paralegal because working and getting an income is important I guess. True Marxist Accelerationism is accepting: money isn't real, be a wifeguy instead ;)
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Question 1-30 for kiyo and 31-70 for dai~
Kiyoharu & Daichi
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Parents passed away a long time ago. At the time it wasn’t the best.
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
Dai, when I left to run errands earlier today.
03: Do you regret anything?
Everything, well not everything, mostly not effectively communicating what I really felt and thought to the person who meant the most to me. For letting fear scare me into hiding instead of talking.
04: Are you insecure?
Yes.
05: What is your relationship status?
Divorced
06: How do you want to die?
Surrounded by people I love. Hopefully of old age. Or spontaneous death…..
07: What did you last eat?
Ramen
08: Played any sports?
A little baseball years ago.
09: Do you bite your nails?
Occasionally
10: When was your last physical fight?
3 years ago…..
11: Do you like someone?
Yes.
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
Many times
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Yes
14: Do you miss someone?
Always
15: Have any pets?
No
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
Conflicted, without purpose.
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
Yeah sure.
18: Are you scared of spiders?
No
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yes
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
I don’t remember…… the bridge? The house?
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
Take the kids and visit the zoo.
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
I have 5 part time. I’m happy with what I have.
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
Yes, several
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
History
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
Everyday
26: What are you craving right now?
Pizza and sushi?
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Regrettably
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
Don’t know of any?
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Yes….. regrettably
30: What’s irritating you right now?
Me.
31: Does somebody love you?
No clue.
32: What is your favourite color?
Purple?
33: Do you have trust issues?
Depends on what it is.
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
The kids mainly Toki playing in the snow.
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Yuuki?
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
No
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive. Memories last.
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
Not quite.
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
13?
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
Yes
51: Favourite food?
Tacos!
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
I know….. why things happen
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Orange juice.
54: Is cheating ever okay?
No, but I’ve had compassion for drunken mistakes or blinded moments.
55: Are you mean?
No
56: How many people have you fist fought?
2?
57: Do you believe in true love?
Yes
58: Favourite weather?
Spring
59: Do you like the snow?
Sure….
60: Do you wanna get married?
It’s a little late in life to want it
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Depends
62: What makes you happy?
Children laughing
63: Would you change your name?
No
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Uh…. Yeah
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Don’t have one?
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
No
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Emi
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Kiyo
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
I believe soulmates can be formed
70: Is there anyone you would die for
My family
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It’s kinda annoying because my (actual) diagnoses came during this “fad” of being traumatized and neurodivergent. So I feel like I annoy everyone when I talk about mine and that they don’t believe me/think I’m just looking for excuses/attention.
This is my story. Human names have been changed.
I am diagnosed Bipolar 2, ADHD, and Autistic.
I went my whole life undiagnosed of what was actually the reasons behind every single struggle I had, and there were, and continue to be ALOT. I talk about it so much because it’s a relief to understand myself now and to validate my experiences and start to heal and move forward. Since as long as I can remember, I felt out of place. Always a step behind everyone else and like I didn’t really belong anywhere. I was painfully shy. Speaking to people terrified me. I had frequent meltdowns and sensory issues that were brushed off as temper tantrums and being sensitive.
But I had friends. I had large friend groups I was a “part” of. I participated in team sports and dance. I maintained okay grades in school. I didn’t scream or meltdown in public. I didn’t stim or avoid eye contact (lol yes I did but had already learned to force it and my stims have always been low key). I didn’t have any “learning disabilities”.
Now I know the reason behind this is autism but it didn’t look the same as what everything knew it as, and girls especially learn to mask very fast and at a young age. And I did have learning disabilities. Auditory processing disorder is one. I mean I guess autism and adhd are learning disorders in themselves, but I don’t like calling them that. We just connect things differently and therefore learn, understand, and do things differently. But we’ve been told our whole lives we’re doing it wrong. We’re doing life wrong. But it becomes our normal so we think everyone feels like this.
Fast forward to high school. I’ve turned dark. My parents went through a really messy and toxic and abusive divorce when I was around 12. I’m 13/14 and I’m starting drinking, and smoke weed. This progresses to drinking heavily and often, and taking various pills. I’m diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder at 15. Medicated and things get better. I finish high school (still partying alot), go to University and do alright and kinda just party my way through it. I got off my meds cause I’m cured! Around 25 or so I start having panic attacks. I can’t leave my house. I go back on meds but as always am still apathetic about life. Panic attacks dissipate and I learn how to manage them when they do happen. Things are pretty good. I get my degree in geology, meet my then partner, John, get my masters degree and then a job. We have 2 dogs, one we got together and one I had previously, and 2 cats. It’s good for a bit and then I get bored and stop caring.
And then Covid hits. All routine and structure and societal need to socialize disappears. At first it was awesome. I could sleep in and working from home was nice. But then I got bored and started caring less and less about my work. I couldn’t focus, keep track of time or even days gone by, was experiencing executive dysfunction, sensory issues got worse, and much more. I now know this is ADHD and Autistic burnout.
I’m diagnosed with ADHD and do a bunch of medication trials. Nothing works. It makes me more apathetic and I don’t give a single fuck about anything at all. Even the one thing that brings me joy which is dog training. I realize my childhood was really abusive and traumatizing and I’d been normalizing it. So I start trying to heal from that.
My partner at the time was the only thing keeping me afloat (love you John) but it also took a huge toll on our relationship. We moved to the Yukon. I switched to a new company. I became even more depressed and move back to Alberta without him. I take all of the animals (2 cats and 2 dogs) because he’s on shift work. He gets super depressed without his Emma (dog) and finds a way to not be on shift work anymore so he can take care of her. So I send her back to him because they really did have the best bond, and she was born to be a wilderness dog. But this was heartbreaking for me. I get involved in an extremely emotionally abusive and manipulating and as I later find out, dangerous situationship. I’d known him for over a decade so I could trust him right? Dead fucking wrong but we will get into that later. John is still my best friend. I get a border collie puppy and she’s amazing. He gets involved in a relationship (also abusive) and cuts off communication with me. I finally get diagnosed bipolar 2 and and medicated for it. I learn my first manic episode was at age 19 when I decided to go to New Zealand for 2 months out of nowhere. I hate travelling. I barely remember the experience and I wasn’t drinking or doing drugs.
John gets himself out and we are best friends again. I couldn’t do life at this point without him.
Things are starting to make sense and get easier. I’m able to regulate my emotions better. I get myself out of that abusive situationship. I completely change careers and leave geology and the security along with it (it’s the best decision I’ve ever made). This change brings new meaning and purpose and joy to my life, but it also ends a years long friendship and my dog training community and support system.
Then my soul dog, Ernie, and the reason I’m a dog trainer gets bone cancer and dies. I reconnect with my previous friends from the training community (silver linings?).
My mom gets cancer which has spread and needs chemo. She’s starting her third set of treatments this week. The doctors are optimistic but she never tells us the whole truth about scary things. I’m scared but trying to be positive.
Then I find out the real truth about my situation-ship. Him and his friend have allegations of sexually assaulting women together. At least one his friend was charged for but they got dropped when she could no longer afford it. Our justice system sucks. Like how is that fucking possible. I learn of other attempted assaults or close call and just overall inappropriate disgusting behaviour. I learn of the other women. I speak to them and even befriend one. I learn he told us all the same stories that “he’s never shared with anyone before”, cooks the same meals, makes the same jokes, literally all the same things. This guy has zero conscience or personality and genuinely believes he is a good guy. He would always talk about what a good guy he is 🙄. Well he had me fooled and a trail of traumatized women before me. I learn he sent all of us at the same time pictures of his 2 year old niece. I’m disgusted by this because what human uses their toddler niece to gain trust from women. He’s despicable so I tell his sister in law.
Anyways I put that behind me and meet a really nice guy, Tyler. We have awesome chemistry and we get each other. But he’s in the dark place and can’t be what I need. I understand this because I’ve been there several times but it still really sucks. I’ve had a really hard time moving on.
Fuckface is back on the dating apps going by a different name. He’s so vile 🤮
My training business is picking up and I’m genuinely starting to be kinda happy. I can at least get more daily things done but it’s still a disaster. Still having a hard time missing Tyler but managing. Before bipolar meds I would have spiralled into my pit of despair.
A new dog comes into my life. She is an Olde English Bulldogge just like Ernie was and I sincerely believe he sent her to me. The week before I met her as a training client for a rescue I train with, I’d been feeling his presence a lot. I’m about to adopt her and I started a part time job at a canine physiotherapy clinic doing hydrotherapy. I love it. I get to see my best friend after 5 years and meet her little daughter.
So I think things are kinda progressively getting better with each setback. But frick can I just be done with everything needing to be a lesson?? I’ve got my PhD at this point.
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15 questions
Thank you for the tags, @mandoblowmybackout and @peachesandfiends
1. Are you named after anyone?
My paternal grandmother had two middle names. My sister got one and I got the other.
2. When was the last time you cried?
It was definitely because of a kindness on Tumblr. I won't say who.
3. Do you have kids?
Nope.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Define "a lot."
5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Their overall vibe. I like to listen to my learned prejudices, see what kind of assumptions I inherently make based on their overall appearance and then eagerly wait for them to surprise me. (They almost always do. It's delightful.)
6. What’s your eye color?
Blue-grey. This will change depending on what color I'm wearing and what the sky is doing that day.
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
I love both. A lot.
8. Any special talents?
I can generally pick up an instrument and play something on it within a couple of minutes of messing around with it (I can read music but I'm better by ear). I have a good ear for dialects. There's a lot of odd skillz I've picked up because learning them for shows. I'm very very very good at always choosing the slowest line at the supermarket.
9. What are your hobbies?
Writing, reading, video games, movies, cross stitch / embroidery, learning new instruments, travel, paint by sticker, tarot study, collecting, felt craft, board games, online shopping.
10. Where were you born?
Minnesota!
11. Have any pets?
I have a 19 year old black lab mix named Tahja. We took her over from a neglectful family member and even through she's been with us for 7 years, she still kind of feels like a guest in the house that we're just kind of making comfortable in her last years. Which just. Keep. Going. I swear that old bat's gonna outlive us all.
12. What sports do you play/have you played?
My parents tried to get me into softball when I was young and I hated it. I was on the gymnastics and swim teams in junior high, but that was mainly because my childhood best friend did them and I wanted to keep up with her. I was a downhill skier for most of my childhood until I got into acting and then I didn't want to risk broken bones. Was on a curling team briefly in college but had to quit because of time restraints. Mostly I don't really like sports. I'd rather play games. Better with my brain than my reflexes.
13. How tall are you?
5'5"
14. Favorite subject in school?
Generally all the arts/music classes. My last quarter of college I just needed to add credits to keep my student loan, so I took an art history course on European Medieval and Renaissance painting. I loved that class and I think it informed a lot of my creative thinking more than any of my lit or drama courses. It was mainly just a lecture class and I looked forward to it every week; just 90 minutes of someone explaining motifs and techniques for paint mixing, about political climates and commission workshops, about religious subjects and heretical works.... Just 90 minutes of soaking in beautiful learning. I think about it all the time.
15. Dream job?
I mean. Actor on set with Pedro. Crush to the side, I would just love to watch him work. I would love to play off someone that committed.
.
I don't remember who all has done this, but I'm tagging: @writeforfandoms @grogusmum @insomniamamma @honestly-shite @something-tofightfor @stealyourblorbos @littlemisspascal @beecastle @feathersandfoxtails
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hello hello! Thank you so much to @theres-a-bea and @surely-galena for tagging me in this, I thought I’d just post instead of reblogging because the original’s a bit long, but anyway here’s a bit about me!
1. are you named after anyone? nope! my parents admit they just liked the name they chose for me :)
2. when was the last time you cried? maybe a week ago? I’m not the easiest crier irl, but for some reason books manage to hit the spot.
3. do you have kids? none :)
4. do you use sarcasm a lot? not unless it’s super over the top, since I know how it can make people feel upset or confused depending on the situation
5. what sports do you play/have you played? nothing at the moment, but I used to play basketball years ago (still my favorite)
6. first thing you notice about people? honestly, if I’m near them, probably their volume. I pick up pretty quick if someone speaks more softly or loudly than average.
7. eye color? haaazel
8. scary movies or happy endings? I love scary things, but I think happy endings get me more. when people end it happy it makes me want to scream (in the best way) :’)
9. any special talents? I am very good at memorizing things—numbers, names, dates, I even used to memorize entire short stories before our reading comprehension tests when I was like 6. I also seem to have incredible luck (●’◡’●)
10. where were you born? a few streets away!
11. what are your hobbies? I love collecting hobbies, so it’s a pretty long list. Right now, I’ve been mainly reading, playing a bunch of video games, knitting, and browsing Wikipedia.
12. do you have any pets? I do, I have a bunny and a fish. My bunny is an old arthritic man of almost 14 years and I love him to death, and I got my goldfish at a carnival because I felt bad about how he was being treated. He’ll be 1 next month, and my friend owns his brother :)
13. how tall are you? 5’4 / 163 cm, I get called short a lot despite being the female global average. I think I just know too many tall people lol
14. fave subject in school? I’ve always been a sucker for history! It’s definitely my favorite thing to learn about outside of school, too.
15. dream job? That’s what I want to know!! Jk jk but seriously though, I would love to work in museum curation or something similar. It might not end up being what I do, but research and preservation have always interested me a ton.
The original said to tag 15 mutuals, but I don’t even follow that many people and I know many many others have already been tagged through the grapevine. But, if you follow me or would like to share please feel free to continue the thread or pass it forward!
#unrelated#idk what else to tag. I’m used to talking in the tags bc it feels like whispering but I guess I’ll just leave it a that • ̫ •
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Get to know them!
A/N: Kick back, 'cause the power couple of Edenbrook has returned to stage for the finale!
"Welcome back to yet another episode of 'America's Stars'! I'm overjoyed to announce that our favourite doctor couple back on stage! Without further ado, I present to you, Dr. Ethan Ramsey and Dr. Catherine Valentine!"
The two walk up to the stage, looking ready as ever. The crowd goes wild, feasting their eyes on the couple who seemed to have been blessed with the looks of a Greek God.
They take their seats, and I smile warmly, offering them coffee.
As we get comfortable, I gradually open the interview.
Set: Get to know more about them
1. What was growing up like for you?
Catherine: Growing up was exciting. I'm the youngest child, so more often than not, my whims used to be heeded. But my parents were, are, pretty strict. I come from a typical English household, and that's why people considered me a bit different in my school. I loved art, and am pretty good at badminton. I was mostly into academic stuff. It was great, you know, all things considered.
Ethan:.....It was a transition from a happy-go-lucky boy to a serious, sedate teen. I indulged in music and academics, sometimes sports.
2. Did you use to get along with your siblings?
Catherine: Hell yeah! I mean, we did have fights all right, but I think that kind of strengthened our relationship.
Ethan: I'm an only child.
3. Was there any time you had family talks and reunions where you all gathered with extended family members to catch some fun?
Catherine: Yes! Once a year. That really was fun.
Ethan:....No.
4. What is your ambition in life?
Catherine: To make a difference in patient care.
Ethan: To unravel medicine's mysteries for better health care.
5. Do you enjoy taking leadership positions?
Together: Yes.
6. Who is your longest-standing friend you are most proud of?
They point at each other, smiling.
7. Are you a good cook?
Catherine: ......Well, I can cook 2-minute noodles.....
Ethan: *smirking* yes.
8. What's your favourite genre of music: pop, classic, rock and roll or blues?
Together: Classic.
9. What are your morning weekends like?
Ethan: You mean weekends off? Yeah those are rare so we usually spend the day with friends and family.
Catherine chuckles.
10. How do you handle having a bad day?
Ethan: Thinking about going home and relaxing with Catherine.
Catherine: Right back at you.
11. Do you enjoy your present job?
Together: Yes.
Ethan: It's what we wanted to be, wanted to do.
12. Do you love pets?
Together: We do.
Next set: Marriage and relationships
13. What's your take on getting intimate before marriage?
Ethan: I think it's okay. When you're in a relationship, you naturally trust each other. So you don't have problems letting them see you, or feel you. You feel comfortable with them.
Catherine: Nothing left for me to add, apparently.
14. What’s your belief about gay relationships?
Catherine: We have nothing against it, nothing for it. It's as normal as being straight. Attraction is normal, even towards the same gender.
Ethan: Exactly.
15. Are you friends with any of your ex?
Ethan: Yes. Harper.
Catherine: Yes. Utkarsh.
16. Is it okay to lie to your partner?
Together: No.
Ethan: Even if it's life or death situations, you shouldn't lie because- "'til death do us part."
17. What’s your take on cheating?
Ethan: Only cowards and turncoats of the lowest level are capable of that.
Catherine: "'Til death do us part." You're compelled to be loyal to your significant other.
18. How many relationships have you had?
Together: Three
19. What was your first kiss with each other like?
Ethan: I felt safe, secure and happy. All these emotions at one time after ages.
Catherine: I felt like I was in heaven. He's a great kisser.
*Ethan smirks*
20. Have you ever been involved in a threesome?
Together: Hell nah.
Ethan: I don't like sharing what's mine.
21. What got you attracted to each other?
Catherine: His dry, sarcastic personality and the kind heart beneath.
Ethan: Her big heart and her liveliness.
22. Have you ever cheated in any relationship before?
Together: No!
23. Do you have any addictions?
Ethan: No, unless you count Catherine.
Catherine: *laughing* same.
24. How many kids would you like to have?
Together: Three
Next set: Intimacy
25. Have you ever masturbated?
Together: Never.
26. Are you still a virgin?
Ethan: *motioning between him and Catherine* What do you think?
Catherine laughs.
27. Have you ever gotten intimate with each other without protection?
Together: Yes.
28. What's your most sensitive body part?
Ethan: What the actual?-
Catherine simply blushes.
Ethan: *trying hard to keep from blushing, but failing* well....my intimates.
Catherine: Same. *she looks freaking embarrassed*
29. Which are you quicker to: Anger or tears?
Ethan: Anger
Catherine: Tears
30. Do platonic relationships exist?
Together: I believe it does.
31. How do you most deeply experience intimacy and passion?
Ethan: Taking care of her, or being taken care of by her.
Catherine: Relaxing with him, or just being vulnerable without physical intimacy.
32. What's your biggest turn off?
Ethan: Lying
Catherine: Cheating
33. How many times a week would you prefer getting physical?
Ethan: I can't get enough.
Catherine: *smirking* Same.
34. Where's your favourite place to be touched?
Ethan: *blushing deeply* Come again?
Catherine: *smirking* the skin above my sternum.
Ethan: I- it's- um.
Catherine: *grinning teasingly* You can say phallus, darling.
Ethan: *face red* Excuse me, I need to go home.
35. Do you prefer it rough or romantic?
Together: A combo of both.
36. Would you ever get intimate in a shower?
Together: *smiling* we already have.
37. What's the dirtiest thing you've thought about doing to each other?
Ethan: *facepalms, flushing*....and that's my cue to leave.
Catherine: *smiling devilishly* taking total control and not letting you have your own way.
Ethan: *cheeks go scarlet* To tie her and make her beg for me to satisfy her.
38. How satisfied are you with your sex life?
Ethan: It has full marks.
Catherine: Same *sends a wink at Ethan, causing him to blush even further*
Bonus Questions
39. What's your favourite picture of each other?
Catherine: He looks so at peace, so relaxed.
Ethan: She owns my heart. Just look at these pictures.
40. Your favourite thing your partner wears?
Catherine: He looks like a man carved by Aphrodite herself, in anything, everything and nothing.
Ethan: Right back at her. She's just gorgeous, irrespective of whatever she throws on herself.
________________
If you read till here, thank you!
A/N: Two of a kind's next part will be posted tomorrow. Stay tuned!
@openheartfanfics
#ethan ramsey#ethan ramsey x mc#ethan x mc#open heart#choices#jamespotterthefirst#david gandy#choices fic writers creations#open heart choices#pictagram#questions#answered#exclusive interview#anushka sen
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tagged by @koalammas!! thank youuu 💞
buckle up ladies and gents time for some rambles okay go
1. Are you named after anyone?
nope lol my middle name was going to be Rose after my great-grandma on my mom's side, but my parents didn't want to offend either side of the family by using a name from the other side of the family so they ended up opting for completely random names for me and my brother hahaha
2. When was the last time you cried?
around april 21 (friend's funeral, her brother was speaking during it and i did not keep it together)
3. Do you have kids?
nope! only my cat, who i love and adore with my entire heart, she is my sweet lil angel muffin
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
kinda depends i guess? sometimes?
5. What is the first thing you notice about a person?
ohhh good question hmm i guess if i'm just seeing someone in passing, probably appearance? otherwise how they interact with and treat other people.
6. What’s your eye color?
brown, but leans a little hazel-ey some days.
7. Scary movie or happy ending?
agree that i like satisfying endings that are also hopefully happy! but between these two options, happy endings, i cannot do scary movies or tv shows or anything, i get freaked out and then can't sleep lol
8. Any special talents?
i genuinely don't know L O L i don't know what would constitute a special talent??? i can memorize song lyrics pretty quickly and then they sorta embed themselves into my brain forever, does that count??
9. Where were you born?
southern usa!
10. What are your hobbies?
video games, watching movies/dramas (though i do not always have the attention span for it lol), reading, crafting (i like physically making things with my hands since i just do design on my computer all day for work! i like trying lots of different things, recently been trying a little bit of hand embroidery. also painting little ceramic figures and stuff like that), cosplaying. i've been trying this year to build taking a walk into my daily routine, not sure if i count it as a hobby or not lol
11. Do you have any pets?
my sweet sweet rileycat!!!! i love cats!!!!
12. What sports do you/have you played?
am not a sports girlie LOL i did tap/ballet/jazz for six-ish years when i was younger! in high school i took theatre classes and was in the plays/musicals instead of sports.
13. How tall are you?
5'4" which is like 162.5cm??
14. Favourite subject in school?
oh i love english, i always loved english. and math! i actually really loved math up until i took calculus. my calculus teacher was horrible, he made you feel stupid for asking questions and he intentionally made the tests too long to finish in a class period and made them extra confusing, it left me in tears more than once. cried at school bc i failed a lot of those tests. anyway i got a 5 on my AP exam for calculus (highest score) so i understood the material, my teacher just sucked and made me hate math after i'd loved it my entire life so ✌️
also loved my theatre classes in high school ahhhh
15. Dream job?
i think something working with cats / big cats / red pandas would be really fun. not a vet necessarily, i don't think i could handle it lol, but like a cat rescue or animal sanctuary maybe??? idk honestly
but yeah mostly agree with the "something that won't drain me and actually leaves me with savings and a will to live" answer. i like my current job/workplace/coworkers a lot more than my last job, but i still don't know if i'd want to be in this field until i retire, that's so many more years and clients sometimes make me wanna bash my head into a wall lol
i have a hard time with the ~dream job~ question bc i've just never felt like i had a "calling" or any overwhelming grand idea with what i've wanted to do with my life, i'm just vibing my way through somehow
Bonus: any significance to your blog's name:
NOPE lol when i was making this blog uhhhh 12 years ago everything that i wanted at the time had been taken and this was the only thing i could think of that i liked that was available and it was just something random 😂 i've thought about changing it but idk it's been too long now LOL
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The Vanishing of Will Byers +You(S1E1)
Pairing: No romantic pairs.
Characters: Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair, Will Byers, Dustin Henderson, Jim Hopper, Mrs/Mr. Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler, Barbra Holland, Steve Harrington, Tommy Hagan, Carol Perkins, Joyce Byers, Jonathan Byers, Holly Wheeler, You(y/n)
Summary: "You" are inserted into the world of Stranger Things.
Season 1, Episode 1: The Vanishing of Will Byers
~Basically this is my DR for Stranger things but instead of my name I just put y/n.~
Word Count: 2,280
A/N: I started watching Stranger Things from the beginning so I could crush trivia, but my neurodivergent brain was like-- Okay? This is our identity now. So here we are. I have the first 4 episodes done and will try to do the rest of season one by the end of next week. Also rip if the tense changes because that is my main weakness.
Warnings: cussing, underage selling of drugs/alcohol, maybe others- let me know.
Stranger Things insert:
Season 1:
1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8
I shouldn’t have left. I was supposed to be there for them... for him.
I was the monitor, the babysitter if you want to call it that. Their parents trusted me to make sure there wasn’t any cursing, extreme violence, or anything not meant for kids at the Dungeon and Dragons campaigns. I mostly agreed for Mrs. Wheeler’s food, and to get out of Hopper’s house. It always smelled like stale beer and cigarette smoke.
Mike. Dustin. Lucas. Will. All like little brothers to me. I mean sure, they didn’t like sports and just played DND all weekend, but they were genuine kids. I liked hanging out with them and hearing all their theories about all their comics, movies, and TV shows. And like I said, anything is better than being at Hopper’s place. This way, the parents pass me around for free childcare whenever they need it and I get a nice meal and a roof over my head.
My parents died when I was super small. According to everyone in Hawkings, they were, “Great people that everyone got along with and helped out whenever they could.” Real pillars of the community type of folks. Their case was never really solved. I’ve always felt weird about it, but no one really talks about it. From then on, I was passed around the community as a foster kid until Jim Hopper got the Shariff position and took me in permanently. He had his own shit to deal with, so we were basically just each other’s crutch. Not healthy, but the best we had. I was 10 then, now I’m 14 but I turn 15 in January. Hopper isn’t the worst foster dad or anything. We get along and he tries to do the whole ‘parent thing.’ I mean he even lets me drive his truck so I can practice for my license, but it is far from the true American Family dynamic.
—
It was right after Halloween and the kids wanted to play this campaign they had been putting together. They were 5 hours in, and I was totally bored. I had so much studying to do and it was impossible to do with Dustin and Lucas screaming at each other every 10 minutes.
“We should go back into the forest; we might have missed some things!”
“What? No! We need to keep going forward!”
It was endless.
“Oh—my—GOD! PLEASE! You are so loud! Can you do this just a BIT quieter?”
I sigh, draping the math book over my face. I have been trying to do the same question for 30 minutes.
They all looked over at me.
“Sorry, y/n.” Will stuttered. He was looking over his notes frantically to check if they should go back or not.
“Yeah, sorry y/n-- But DUSTIN is trying to lead us to failure. We don’t have all the tools to defeat the Demogorgon!” Lucas crossed his arms with a huff.
“WHAT? Will is more than capable of handling it with all the stuff we have. LUCAS is trying to waste our time with trivial things. Y/n I am sorry, but it is his fault.” Dustin was standing at this point, eyes narrowed at Lucas.
“I don’t CARE! Look, I love you—I really do! But shit guys, I have to study. I am just gonna go home early. Are you all okay if I leave?”
They all nodded and apologized some more. I grabbed my bag, hugged everyone, and ruffled Will’s hair. “Wicked!! Thanks guys!”
I ran upstairs and grabbed the Tupperware container of food Mrs. Wheeler set out for me. “Thanks Mrs. Wheeler! Gotta jet!”
I got on my bike and headed to Hopper’s house hoping he was at work or maybe just out doing whatever he does. I needed some peace and quiet. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything he has done for me, but the consistent smoking is heinous.
When I got there, Hopper’s truck was gone. Thank god. I spent the rest of the day doing my homework and studying. It was around 8:30pm and Hopper still wasn’t home. I was about to call the police station, but the power went out. It kept flickering off and on for what seemed to be an hour. I cut my losses and go to bed. Hopper will probably be back soon.
—
My alarm woke me up. Guess the power is back on. I made some breakfast for me and Hopper while he was passed out on the couch. As I headed out the door, a feeling of dread covered me. I tried to shake it off, but there was a weird electricity in the air. It felt— off.
I got off my bike and noticed that Will’s bike wasn’t there. He usually gets to school pretty early to miss those wannabe bullies. I shrugged it off, but still had that gross feeling. I didn’t get to see the other kids, before Steve Harrington pulled me into a bathroom. Oh, Tommy and Carol were there, too. Great.
“Can I help you?” I glared at the couple all but making out.
“Don’t look so jealous, y/n. You can always ask to join.” Tommy winked at me while Carol made kissy faces.
“Bite me!” I snapped back.
“Hey now,” Steve turned me, so I was just facing him. “Is that any way to talk to your best friend?”
I rolled my eyes and just stared at him.
“Look, I was just checking in on you. You’re spending so much time with those lame ass kids. I get that you’re getting Mrs. Wheeler’s homemade food, but you could always stay at my house.” He put his arm around my shoulders while extending his so-called hospitality.
I shrugged him off.
“Please, so I can have my choice of microwave dinners and your parents screaming at each other all the time? No thanks. And I am fine. Honestly, I thought you would want me to hang out with the Wheelers. With how hard you’re trying to get into Nancy’s pants.” I said looking at him, feigning innocence.
Steve chuckles, then pushes me against the wall.
“Shut your mouth y/n. I would hate for all the parents to find out their precious little babysitter sells weed and alcohol on the side.”
I narrow my eyes at him, “Is that what this is about? Making sure I don’t go straight edge on ya?” I scoff at him, “Whatever, dude. My lips are sealed.”
The warning bell rings and Steve steps away from me. I mimic zipping my lips and give him the fake key.
“Good girl,” he says, ushering me out.
I can’t stand him. How he gets all those girls to fall for him, I’ll never know.
—
That feeling never left. It just kept weighing heavier and heavier until my head was pounding. I rested my head on the cold metal of my locker. Praying death would just take me already.
“Are you okay??”
I turned my head and saw Nancy and Barbra. “No, I think I am dying. Tell your mom her meatloaf was amazing.”
They laughed and Nancy rolled her eyes.
“Seriously, y/n. You look sick.” Barbra looked pretty concerned.
“I don’t know, I feel like my head is going to explode. It started this morning..”
“Weird, maybe you should go home. Jonathan didn’t show up either, maybe something is going around.” Nancy fixed her hair in a mirror.
“Wait, Jonathan isn’t here? I didn’t see Will’s bike this morning either…” I lifted my head. “I’m going to head out, tell Kaminsky it is an emergency.”
I got my stuff all packed up and bolted out the main doors.
“Y/n?”
I stopped.
Fuck.
I turned around with a sheepish smile and saw Hopper.
“Where are you going?” He looked at his watch, “It isn’t 3. Are you actually trying to skip school right now?”
“Me?? What are you doing here? I don’t feel good and I was going to check on the Byers. Will and Jonathan aren’t here today..” I hoped all the questions would throw him off.
Hopper gets a faraway look in his eyes and grabs my arm.
“Callahan, tell the front office y/n is going home.”
Callahan does what Hop tells him. I look back at Hopper, “What is going on?”
We get to his truck and wait for Callahan to come back.
“Joyce came to the station this morning. Will is missing.”
My heart dropped. A million questions went through my head, the pounding getting worse. “Wha-”
Callahan opened the truck door and got in.
“That lady didn’t think I was a real cop. So.. you might have to call them later.”
—
Hopper told me to stay in his truck while they looked down Mirkwood. How did he just– disappear. He was at Mike’s house yesterday. I was supposed to be there for him. Now he is missing. I shouldn’t have left. This is my fault..
BANG!
My mind comes back to reality. Hopper gets into the truck.
“What was that? Did you find something?”
He had a rough look on his face. “His bike.”
No. My hope dips. If he wasn’t with his bike..
“Do you think someone took him? Or.. maybe he was scared by something?”
Hopper sighed. “I don’t know. But we are going to try to find him.”
I don’t like how he said try..
We pull up to the Byers house, I hop out of the truck before Hopper stops.
“Joyce! Jonathan! I am so sorry!”
I run into their arms sobbing. Hopper pulls out Will’s bike and Joyce ushers everyone inside.
She was following Hopper around, obviously very frustrated. I stay inside and wander into Will’s room. I was looking at his drawings when Hopper called my name.
“Y/n! Come on, Powell is taking you to the Wheeler’s house. You will stay there for the night.”
“What? No. I am helping tonight!”
“Absolutely not. We don’t know what happened and I can’t worry about taking care of you and looking for him. Now, GO!”
Officer Powell ushered me out of the house and into the police car.
This is so stupid.
He is my friend. He was my responsibility! I should be looking for him..
We pull up to the Wheeler’s and Powell drops me off.
Mrs. Wheeler made chicken. Mike was arguing with his mom about not helping look for Will. He would look at me for help but I stayed quiet. Nancy then started arguing about studying at Barb’s house. I looked at her, knowing she was lying. Definitely trying to hang out with Steve or something. They all started yelling at each other. Nancy started blaming Will about the curfew. Then. Mike brought up Steve. I looked at Mr. Wheeler as he idly ate his dinner.. Nancy got upset and left. Then, Mike stormed off downstairs. I looked at Holly, then at Mrs. Wheeler.
“Uh.. this was delicious. But- I.. I’ll go check on Mike.”
—
Down in the basement, Mike and I sat in a heavy silence.
“Why didn’t you back me up? Don’t you want to find Will?”
I looked up at him. “Of course I want to find Will! But Hop has already forbidden me from doing so.. Of course.. if he doesn’t find out..”
Mike looks at me, confused. Then it clicks. He grabs his walkie calls for Lucas.
We pack some supplies and head out. Luckily, I can use Nancy’s old bike. As we head out, we see Steve trying to sneak into Nancy’s room. He looked at me and Mike acting like he wasn’t trying to get on the roof. Mike rolled his eyes.
“Try using your muscles!” I smirked at him.
He gave me a sarcastic smile and flipped me off.
—
We all make it to Mirkwood. It smelled like rain and started to thunder and lightning.
“Hey guys? You guys feel that?” Dustin looks up and gets hit in the face by the rain. “ I think maybe we should go back.”
“No!” Mike says sharply, “We’re not going back. Just stay close. Come on.”
We start into the woods where they found Will’s bike.
“Just stay on channel six. Don’t do anything stupid.”
I look over and extend my hand towards Dustin. “Come on.. It’s just a little rain.”
—
It was not just rain.
It was a full blown monsoon sized storm. I tried to keep my windbreaker close around me but the wind and rain cut through it like glass.
We all try screaming for Will, hoping to find him.
“Guys, I really think we should turn back!” Dustin yells over the storm.
“Seriously, Dustin, if you want to be a baby, then go home already!”
Great.. Again with Lucas and Dustin bickering.
“I'm just being realistic, Lucas!”
“No, you're just being a sissy!”
“Guys come on, chill out.” I moan.
“Did you ever think Will went missing because he ran into something bad? And we’re going to the exact same spot where he was last seen? And we have no weapons or anything?”
Mike had a concerning look on his face. “Dustin, shut up!”
“I’m just saying, does that seem smart to you?”
There was rustling nearby– “Dustin seriously.. Shut up. Do you guys hear that?”
There was more rustling and a weird noise. We all turn our flashlights toward the sound.
We all stumble backwards. It is a girl with a shaved head. She’s soaked and has an oversized t-shirt on.
I look over to the others. They all looked terrified.
I sigh and reach my hand out to the girl.
“Come on! Let’s go back and get dry!”
#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things imagine#stranger things x reader#stranger things x you#stranger things x y/n#stranger things oc#fanfic#stranger things fanfic#fanfiction#stranger things spoilers#st1#st1 ep1
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Bro and mom traveling together!!! We have some brain strand connection or some shit because I entertain that idea a lot. I love putting them into situations where they just have to be stuck together, gets a good laugh out of me.
I would ask more about that but hmm, maybe after this hc stuff (or really anything, I don’t mind if it’s another meta tangent) I wanted to ask about old lady English and Poppop? I think they’re pretty neat. Ushsjsk or maybe I should finish the strilonde guardians with Alpha Rose? I like her a lot too hmmm.
You can choose, I’m incompetent when it comes to choice.
Bro and Mom! you know i love talking about bro and mom now hahaha you're kinda pandering to my specific talking point interests lol!
Tbh I probably don't have as much fun stuff to say about Doc English and Poppop without talking about canon stuff! I think they, like Nanna and Grandpa, were given a really raw fucking deal, and that it definitely helped shape them into the kind of people they are BUT they are also old and that scares me LOL i mean it's still fun I just don't have to dig quite as deep to extract personality traits from them, since John and Jade are my secret darlings <3
BUT i can definitely warble about Alpha Rose Lalonde forever (cw again, for alcoholism)
it's no secret to the fandom, and to rng readers, that our other "Mom Lalonde" is an alcoholic. it breaks my heart that roxy really thought that drinking was a feasible way to get closer to her, and it makes me sad even typing it out
I do not think that she left the alcohol there in a malicious way, I think she genuinely just. Did not think about Roxy in that moment. She had a booze stash, it belonged to her, and she didn't (as funny as this is, for a person with pretty impeccable foresight) even consider the repercussions of leaving an eventual-teenager alone with a lifetime supply of the stuff
Alpha Rose didn't start drinking til adulthood, mostly after the age of 20
She learned to drive from John Crocker, which basically led to her just paying for driving school instead. Because yikes.
She is John's favorite even though she would never ever tell Dave this because it would devastate him
Dave Strider is (was) her only friend <3
I like to headcanon that she was actually connected more closely with her aspect, in part because she's Rose, and Seers are like that (Alternian Kankri remembered a gentler way of life for the trolls I think??) And in part because of Rose's accidental trip and fall into the favor of the horrorterrors
I just remember Calliope saying she could black out news feeds and shit and that feels very grimdark to me! Fun!
She took up knitting at 14, when John Crocker got her needles for her birthday (he doesn't know why, either, it just felt right)
Much like the beta guardians, they were 13 the first time they met Poppop and Grandma
Rose tends to be more pessimistic towards new people, but she has great faith in Dave, even though she knows that he will turn himself inside out without some kind of outside force to stop him
Being alone for a long time does this to you
She actually did not like Bro at all when they met, because she did not trust him, and because
She is very careful with Dave's heart, even if she's not like that with her own
She could see a lot of her bad traits in Bro, things that made her an excellent face for a rebellion, but made for a bad parent
She's more aware of Dave's flaws than he , most days
While the worlds did get smashed together, most of her dayware was absorbed by Momlonde's closet, so she really does just be wearing formal wear every day until she finally has access to clothes
Most of the time she can be found sporting Momlonde's pajamas
Very unlike aDave and Bro to start, she and Mom get along quite well. I'm sure Bro has nothing to do with this.
I think Mom really needed some kind of adult presence she could lean on, once the Daves showed up in New York, and while Rose is not exactly equipped to handle children, at least she had someone to talk to now!
You might imagine but they really both like wizards :)
The thing she was picking up from the pharmacy was Naltrexone
Quite frankly she probably shouldn't have been driving either but here we are
The kids winning the game released her from her obligation to the horrorterrors
She doesn't really know how to talk to Roxy, at least not in a super open way, but Roxy is pretty capable of taking the reins here, and I think it makes Rose sad, to see how much heavy lifting maturity wise her daughter has to do for her
Luckily for her however her daughter is Roxy
Mom is also Roxy
I definitely see her as more similar to Bro in terms of like, how she sees the players' place in the game, and their duty to the timeline. She understands (or understood, before) how necessary what they were doing was, and I don't think she would have given up, not even if Dave begged her to
She does in fact have a pretty solid handle on alpha Dave, as unfortunate for him as that is, and she is pretty much the only reason he never gave up, at all
Whether this is a positive or a negative thing is all contextual of course
She and Dave are kinda weird, I guess
She has absolutely also been a black cat for Halloween
She also went to college
Keg Stand Champion
Now trying her absolute best to be in recovery ofc
I don't think she makes a habit of lying for many reasons, but she is not above pushing Dave (yikes) if it will (did) benefit the rebellion long term
She likes to get her wait and hates losing
Yes even if it's petty
She is secretly thrilled that she makes the Striders uncomfortable
Okay so it's not a secret
She never bothered to learn how to cook and had an assistant who would bring her groceries lol
God remember how ubeyeats doesn't exist in 2012 that's fucked up
She is ambidextrous
The only reason she and Dave did not have a fallout over the house in Rainbow Falls is because Dave was busy chasing after John Crocker like a lost puppy
Her favorite color is green
She has always wanted to do karaoke, but I don't think she would actually be willing to participate, if it came down to it
Rose used to smoke, too, but she gave it up in the first timeline, when she saw how much of a nightmare Dave was becoming
Once again circling back to the Bro thing I think they are more similar than either of them would like to be (much like little Rose) and I think that makes every single convo I have to write between them a nightmare
She, unlike Dave, likes being the tallest person in the room, and wears heels in purpose
She and Rose have never been alone in a room together
On purpose
John Crocker used to take her hobby boat racing when she was younger
She used to let Dave paint her nails. No, he was not good at it.
She kept the original knitting needles John gave her until she died
#i think alpha rose is neat but like she is also somewhat intimidating!!!#i dread writing her with anyone who is not Dave sigh#the run and go fic#i guess i do have fun john crocker and jade english headcanons they are just tied deeply to the other two#they acted more as parents and guides for them#and a source of ire really#BUT ANYWAY#sorry more of me rambling sorry
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