#i forget the existence of my closest friends sometimes

[euphoricfilter]

HIIII GIRLY. I saw your drabble game anddd how about

"How could we ever just be friends" + yoongi djskskjs

just friends:

pairing: yoongi x gn! reader

genre: fluff || mild hurt with a lot of comfort || non-idol au

summary: maybe you were never just friends

word count: 1.2k

tags/ warnings: feelings, fluff, the smallest hint of hurt, they’re actually just really in love and the m/c is slightly oblivious but yoon is a big old sweetheart

notes: OMG HEY!!!!! you didn’t ask for a specific au so i did indulge slightly and made it fluffy and soft, hope you like it :D

drabble masterlist || all my other works

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

There had always been something utterly unique about Yoongi’s existence in your eyes. He had been the first, and only person whose life had meant anything to you.

You’d spent most of your life aimlessly wandering, taking each day as it came and only hoped it would get better the more you trudged through. Fingers letting go of the ropes of friendships you’d made and lost—people you didn’t pay any mind to now that they weren’t in your life.

You didn’t miss them. Never thought of them unless they were right in front of you, if they never made themselves known.

But Yoongi had been different.

It didn’t take his physical presence for you to wonder how he was doing. He didn’t need to message first for you to ask how his day was. Dreams filled with another reality, what the two of you would be doing the next time you met, how sweet your name sounded from his lips. Or that sweet smile he would give you every time you stumbled over your words, too caught up in his eyes your brain malfunctions and you forget how to speak.

Thoughts consumed by him, feelings wrapping around the idea of his existence, soul dancing around his in this weird push and pull, not quite just friends but not really anything more.

Special, precious, perfect, Yoongi.

In all your years alive you’d never had a crush until that first moment you met. Never once thought of another human being in any other way that wasn’t platonic. It felt as though part of your world had started to crumble to moment, you’d acknowledged how you truly felt about him, stuck in this endless dilemma. Because who were you meant to tell him about your feelings when he was your closest friend? What if he asked who it was? He knew you rarely went out, and you sure as hell would have told him if you’d gone on any dates. So, you’d been stewing in your own feelings for as long as you can remember, too scared to utter a word about what was really happening between the two of you.

Because, sure his touches lingered, warm skin pressed against one another until the heat has travelled to your cheeks and you refuse to look at him, too scared he’d see how flustered you were. And sure there was the nicknames, though that was something he’d started early on, and you had doubts he fell in love just as quickly as you did.

Sometimes it felt like he only smiled at you, and yet you could only assume it was because you were his best friend, a safety net for him as much as he was one for you.

But not once had he made it obvious he liked you any more than a friend. A fact you’d slowly decided you could live with.

Just like yourself, it wasn’t very often Yoongi went on dates, you don’t think he’s been on one in the time you’d been friends. Which makes this whole dilemma slightly easier to swallow, because at this moment in time you were probably the most important person in his life.

You got to live out your secret little fantasy, and he got a low maintenance friendship. The perfect exchange.

And truly you believed it would be like this forever, until that little dream in the forefront of your mind was shattered by someone else coming into his life, and the two of you slowly drifting apart.

That was until tonight.

It wasn’t often you drank, never indulged in the fine whiskeys Yoongi would bring over to your place, stashed away in the cupboard when he wanted a little something before bed. However, Yoongi had come over with a cocktail making kit, saying he’d done some research because he knew how much you liked sweeter drinks.

And maybe you’d had a few too many, eagerly asking him to make you different drinks from the little book he had, excited as you watched him mix everything together. Utterly amazed by how good everything he made tasted.

You can’t remember what you’d said, words tumbling out your mouth quicker than you could swallow them back down. The small, sane part of your brain slowly catching up to what was happening as you watch Yoongi’s face morph into something slightly more surprised.

“How could we ever just be friends?” he shakes his head, scooting closer to you on the couch.

“Because you don’t like m—”

He holds a finger up to your lips, quick to silence you.

“Don’t finish that”

A frown tugs at the corners of your lips, “but Yoongi—”

He takes hold of your hands, thumb running over delicate skin as he looks at your face.

“No” he shakes his head, “listen to me for a moment, yeah?”

He’s calm, voice tender and smooth.

You nod.

“You’re not forcing me into anything” he starts, “I thought I was being too pushy with you”

You swallow.

“Huh?” your eyes widen slightly, “But I could have sworn you didn’t like me more than a best friend”

The low rumble of a laugh vibrates from his chest, “Best friends don’t look at each other the way I look at you. They don’t hold your hand on days out, or wish they could kiss you when you make that sweet little face when you first wake up in the morning”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you murmur, “I really thought—”

“And why didn’t you tell me, hmm?” he smiles, “feelings are weird.”

You nod, outburst having helped you sober up slightly.

“What now?” your legs bounce a little, so far out of your comfort zone.

“Whatever you want” he reassures.

“I’m scared” it spills past your lips before you can think about it.

He tilts his head slightly in question, “About what? Commitment?”  

You shake your head, frantic “I just—I don’t know what to do I’ve never dated a person before”

He gives you a gentle smile, “Just be you. Just like you are now, that’s all I want”

“But what if I want a kiss?” you inch a little closer to him.

“Then I’ll give you a kiss”

“What if I wanted a kiss when we go out to dinner with your friends?”

He laughs, “Doesn’t matter when or where, I’ll always be willing to give you a kiss if that’s what you please”

You chew on your bottom lip.

“I’ve never actually kissed anyone before” you say, shoulders losing their tension, because now this felt normal. Like how it always was with Yoongi, where you didn’t need to have secrets or be scared about what he thought. Because for all the time you’d known him, he had always been by your side, and you hope it will stay like that for the rest of time.

“Then I’ll teach you” he hums, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, “Try not to worry your pretty little head too much, I know what you’re like”

“But—” you worry.

“Nope” he laughs, “We’ll work through this together like we do everything else, I’m always here for you, you know that right?”

Your eyes flicker between his for a moment, words settling into your soul as you nod.

“And I’ll always be here for you too, just so you know” the corners of your lips curl up into a smile.

#bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts #yoongi #yoongi fic #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi imagine #yoongi scenarios #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi fic #min yoongi imagine #bts non idol au #bts drabble

[u3pxx]

PLEASEEE can you elaborate on the gavinners i cant stop looking at them theyre so pretty

sometimes i forget that outside of my friends and servers, i don't really talk much about my gavinners boys* huh! so basically, i originally wanted to make them so i could beef up turnabout serenade in my roleswap au, kind of like turnabout samurai where you have a lot more characters which in turn means a lot more suspects!

but then i realized, wait, i need to make them in the canon-verse first before i could make their swap au counterparts! and so now they exist pftt

here y'all go, i'm gonna be copy-pasting the character descriptions i wrote for them during art fight pftt <3

🥁 DEIDRE MINUENDO

Height: 5'7" (170 cm), 5'9.5" (176) with boots on Birthday: Jul 7 ♋︎ | Pronouns: He/Him, She/Her, They/Them

Deidre is the seemingly gloomy and stoic drummer of the band The Gavinners! At first, it could be difficult to get a read on them but despite all that, they're just like that because they prefer saving their energy. It might not look like it, but Deidre enjoys company even if they're not the most chatty with it and thrives the most when they are around other people (she prefers it if she's around the people closest to her though). Deidre is pretty sensitive and an emotional person even if they don't outwardly express it. To the people close to them, Deidre has a sarcastic streak and can be pretty snappy when it comes to teasing. She can dish it but she can't take it however as they can get slightly irritated when they're teased back. Even if they are a rockstar, they can get embarrassed when people praise or say nice things about them to their face, he tends to brush affection if even if he is secretly flattered by it (he's not gonna admit it though pftt) They also enjoy doodling here and there and like stuffed animals (they have a few of their own!)

Deidre was the closest to Daryan so the events of 4-3 affected him immensely. They felt betrayed and confused and tried to deny that Daryan would be capable of taking another person's life; they scrambled to do everything to protect Daryan from omitting information and even lying on the stand. In the end, all of their efforts were for naught and they felt incredibly guilty for what they've done, especially since she started antagonizing Preston when he was starting to suspect Daryan. They cut themselves off from the group, their job, and stardom. They ended up severely depressed and started to rarely go outside anymore. Only Doremy (Daryan's twin, also a close friend of his) was able to reach him during this time while Viva tried to but he kept refusing to see him. It took them a long time to finally be able to reconnect with the group and it took them a lot of help and support to be able to be well again. Deidre carries Daryan's betrayal to the group heavily and it took a while for her to start forgiving herself.

⚡ VIVA CHI

Age: 25 | Height: 5'9" (175 cm) Birthday: Jan 1 ♑︎ | Pronouns: He/Him

Viva is the lively and energetic bassist of the band The Gavinners! Though he may seem goofy and a little unserious, he actually is pretty responsible and is the mediator of the band (as the eldest brother of his siblings and the eldest of the band, he kind of made that his responsibility). He's a forensic scientist and has always had an interest in science alongside music ever since he was young (he thinks Ema is very pretty but she finds him annoying pftt). Viva was the last one to join the band when they were all in high school and despite his extroverted personality, felt a little shy at the time getting to know a new group of people (it's because Preston was there who he may or may not have crushed at while in high-school.) He's a lover of all things caffeinated (especially energy drinks though he should really pace himself) which isn't always the best match to the fact that he's got terrible anxiety and thinks himself down a spiral when he gets too worried.

Once the band disbanded after the events of AA4, Viva, though left in a bad place with his anxiety shot through the roof, fared better compared to the other members. He tried his best to keep in touch with everyone with varying successes despite Daryan's arrest being fresh and hurt. - visiting Daryan in prison to hear his side of the story - popping in to check at Preston in his office because the guy started to take worse care of himself - contacting Deidre even if she was trying to isolate and cut herself from everyone and looking out for Klavier even if he buried himself in his work He took a break from music like everyone else, he still hopes one day they can meet up and play music again, not even as a band, but as a group of friends who loved creating music.

🦇 PRESTON KEISS

Age: 25 | Height: 6'1" (185 cm) Birthday: Oct 25 ♏︎ | Pronouns: He/Him

Preston is the mysterious yet magnetic keyboardist of the Gavinners! Tall, dark, and bewitching; Preston is aware of the impression people have of him at first glance and likes to use that preconception to surprise and even catch people off-guard by purposely being silly or crass. He has a number of odd quirks and mannerisms that he doesn't realize he has, people tend to notice but they often let it pass because he is very handsome (pretty privilege lmao). Preston can sometimes be mischievous and finds certain things amusing only to him even if others don't find it as funny. He's always had an interest in horror and the macabre ever since he was a young boy which developed into a great fascination with the special effects used in old and new horror films alike. (He can be a bit jumpy when watching movies even if he loves to do it, he can't help it if the movie gets to him!) He plays up his whole immortal vampire schtick because the fans tend to theorize if he really was one. (He is not, he'd love to be one though pftt) Preston is very stubborn and adamant about his opinions and can be difficult to sway if he thinks he's correct; he is also quite awkward when it comes to personal matters, as can be seen in his strained relationship with his older sister and whatever romantic thing he's trying to achieve with Viva. He's used to acting larger than life when the cameras are on but being raw and honest has him feeling a little embarrassed and stilted. Preston smokes and keeps it a secret. (Don't tell Viva that!)

Preston was the first person in the band to start suspecting Daryan which he mostly kept to himself at first but wouldn't deny when you asked him (Deidre did not like that.) After Lamirior accused Daryan in court, Preston was determined to make Deidre confront the truth (unfortunately, not taking in why Deidre might be upset and in denial about it) which caused them to have a fight (with Viva being unsuccessful in de-escalating it.) After the Gavinners disbanded, Preston didn't feel very well after Daryan got sent to prison and lost contact with Deidre (whom he hasn't talked to since the case. [he misses them.]) He seemed fine afterward with his workload seeming to increase though upon closer inspection, he's started taking worse care of himself, skipping meals, and losing his interest in music. Preston has a lot of baggage to sort through regarding his friends and his family that will be difficult and painful for him to confront, but rest assured, he's gonna come out of it happy and well.

and here's a compilation of some very old turnabout serenade drawings too :^]

(i didnt make dei's bday turnabout serenade on purpose, it was a tragic happy accident DFGHDJ i wanted his bday to be 7/7 bc i made daryan 6/6 but then the date. i realize the date orz)

#also i dont think ive mentioned this before but ive been thinking about preston being somewhere in the autism spectrum too :^] #ace attorney #deidre minuendo #viva chi #preston keiss #klavier gavin #daryan crescend #the gavinners #sunnysidedoodles #den's gavinners tag #den's ocs tag #sunnysideanswers #id in alt text #described

[plutonianeris]

a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬

this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*

Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡

"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."

Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡

"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."

Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡

"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."

Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡

"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."

© plutonianeris

#pac #pick a deck #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #astro tarot #astrology #intuitive reading #pick a pile reading #pick an image reading #self growth #self help tarot #daily tarot #tarot #plutonianeris #pick a card reading #pick a deck reading

[river-bottom-nightmare]

the two of the had always treated it as one big joke, was the thing. bruce and dick would put on a show together: a stumbling, overly-friendly yet well-intentioned gatsby and his young ward with a sweet tongue and an artful smile. laugh a little too loud, bat the eyes, play up the youth, and they had gotham eating out of their palms. it was fun, a punchline only the two of them were ever in on.

"that was a good one," bruce said, voice warm, deftly removing his cufflinks. "the bit with mrs. arlington's cosmetic surgery was particularly inspired."

"i thought so!" dick chirped back. his suit jacket was already draped over a chair in the sitting room, shoes flung off. "i mean, what could i possibly know about the divorce rumors."

bruce hummed in amused agreement. "i always forget how tiring brucie wayne is to play, though," he said. "for someone who doesn't exist, he's quite the effort."

right then, though, a quiet ripple of alarm went through dick. "wait, what do you mean brucie doesn't exist? what do you mean he's an effort?"

"i mean he's not...he's not real, dick. you know this." bruce shot him a confused glance. "he's a fiction i have to endure on occasion. having you there does make the theatre much more bearable, though."

"of cource brucie wayne is real. he's you!"

bruce was staring at him now, the tired comfort from a successful night wiped from his face. he was just confused, and more than a little concerned. heart on his cheek , always, helplessly (to dick, anyway). "it's just a performance, dick. it doesn't mean anything. you are well aware—"

but dick cut him off, shaking his head. "nothing is ever just a performance, b. that's not what performance is!"

and it killed him, gutted him that bruce didn't understand this, that he had failed to grasp 'brucie wayne' was poetic, was almost victorian, was a masterclass in crafting a mask around a kernel of truth. was the kind of murder you watched a play just to revel in at the end.

"i don't see how it isn't," bruce said, speaking very carefully. "the version of bruce wayne the public sees is a persona. his very existence is to perform the function of deceit."

"deceit?" dick said incredulously, almost laughing with it. "performing isn't deceit, bruce. and that's not what you're doing either." he jabbed a finger in bruce's general direction. "you way overplay how harmless brucie is, but you're not hardline serious all the time. with me and with other kids you meet on patrol, you're gentle."

"that isn't—"

dick kept steamrolling over him. "and sure, brucie is ridiculous sometimes. but you didn't pull that silliness out of thin air, did you? no, because you're playful with me and alfred."

"how i behave with you and alfred isn't a performance though, dick," bruce explained. "that's simply...well. that's who i am when i'm not pretending to be someone else."

"that's what you're missing, b. a performance isn't you pretending to be someone else. you're exaggerating certain parts of yourself like crazy, but at the heart of it all, you're still you."

"why does this affect you so much?" bruce asked. "you're hurting." you're hurting because of me, went unsaid. it wasn't an apology, but it was the closest dick was going to get.

"because brucie is bruce in all the ways that matter, and bruce is my best friend," dick said simply. "don't you dare tell me my best friend doesn't exist!"

bruce was still tense, though. like his heart was a step behind his head, like was a dandelion seed and the wind was unsure. so dick did what he should have done at the beginning of his whole ordeal: went over to him and looped his arms over his waist in a hug, as high as they would go.

"performing is a little tiring, but like batman is," dick mumbled into bruce's shirt. "it isn't a chore you gotta get through. it's an art, and you should have fun with it! because every show you put on is you basically just exaggerating different parts of yourself. you're not creating anyone new."

bruce reached down to hug dick in return, holding him close and sure, strength and sinew and sharing it all. "dick," he said honestly, "that sounds exhausting."

"yeah. but it's worth it," dick said in return. "you always perform for a reason. brucie exists 'cause you want to help people."

"i suppose that desire's real enough," bruce said, gentle. "in that case, thank you."

"for what?"

"for being my best friend, no matter the performance."

---

hahaha noooo being a performer from a young age hasn't impacted me or dick in any way at all we've got a perfectly normal relationship with performance i promise

anyway look guys!!! i wrote a thing!!! first time in forever idk my writing's rusty but i hope yall like it regardless. lmk if i should pop the taglist back in here i'm pretty sure half the people on that thing forgot i existed

#scribbles from the swamp #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #robin #dc #dick grayson fic #bruce wayne fic #batman fic #robin fic #dc fic #long post

[xhmeusworld]

a perfectly good heart | jeon wonwoo

genre: angst, comfort! bf wonwoo, established relationship

pairings: jeon wonwoo x gender neutral reader

warnings: reader is going through a difficult time, mentions of depression, and reader makes a comment about not wanting to exist

word count: 871

note: lately life has just been throwing me for a loop and as a result, i wrote this. i just want everyone to know that you have a purpose in life. regardless of how big or small, it means so much that you are here and my messages are always open to talk.

no one understands another’s pain. not truly.

words and actions can only explain so much, but no matter what someone says, the extensiveness of the pain can not be conveyed. that’s what you thought.

but as jeon wonwoo held you against him, he swore he could feel everything. the pure turmoil and agony. it felt like his soul was on fire, the flames forcing their way out and racing across his limbs.

the shakes that tore through your body and the struggled breaths through the tears made him hold you tighter, wanting to do anything to provide some sort of comfort. some sort of relief to the despair you felt.

instead, he felt helpless. what could he do? did he have the power to do anything? he wanted to tell you that everything you believed about yourself was wrong. he wanted to tell you that your brain was lying. he wanted to tell you so many things, but he wasn’t even sure if you could hear him right now.

your words from earlier rang in his ears.

“life has no set timeline. I understand that. I hear that every single day from so many people and it’s supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn’t. because then I think about it in terms of years and the longer I am floating around without a plan or a goal, the less likely I am to feel connected to everyone around me. I don’t want to be left behind. I don’t want to be the friend that is left alone; still wandering through life while everyone else has careers.”

the future was a scary thought. wonwoo understood that. the unknown of where you could end up in five years was terrifying, especially with no set plan. but sometimes things like this were meant to happen. maybe you were being led onto another path that you just didn’t know about yet.

“and I feel like I’m such a bad friend to literally everyone. i can hardly muster up the courage or energy to speak to some of closest friends. they have reached out, but i just find myself unable to reply and it hurts because i know the despair i’m feeling is my fault. i am so mentally weak. cutting everyone off makes my soul hurt so bad because I don’t want to hurt anyone, but my brain keeps constantly saying over and over that I’m a burden. I’m annoying. if i reach out, I’m taking time away from their lives; interrupting whatever important thing they have going on. and even through all of this, i’m lonely and i’m scared that everyone will forget me. I know none of this is true. I understand that, but god, I feel so weak and helpless.”

wonwoo wanted to scream. it hurt to hear you admit how lonely you felt and he instantly felt guilty himself as a result of his touring schedule, but you were in no way a burden to him or anyone else in your life. you just weren’t. there was absolutely no way you could be to the l people who loved you the most in the world. you weren’t weak or helpless. you were just scared. he wanted to tell you, he wanted to engrain into your head, that fear was normal. nothing was wrong with you being afraid.

“i’m a disappointment to my parents; to everyone that believed in me. I used to be so happy and now I feel incredibly stupid and I’m just filled with regret and anger. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I wish I was one of those people who knew exactly what they are doing with their life, but I’m not and I hate it. instead, i’m here with a void in my heart.”

your voice was thick with tears that you were desperately trying to hold back. wonwoo thought you were going to start sobbing right then, but somehow you managed to keep your composure to talk once again.

“i’m just so ashamed myself. I’m so utterly and truly an embarrassment and a failure that sometimes I’m even afraid to face you.”

that’s when your boyfriend grabbed your face, forcing you to make eye contact with him as he insisted almost angrily that you weren’t a failure. you were doing what was best for you. you were trying to take it one day at a time. there was no shame or crime in that. wonwoo was so proud of his person. so so very proud.

“i see no light or hope at the end of the tunnel right now”

these were the last words you spoke before you fully broke down, burying your face into his chest.

and no matter what you thought, jeon wonwoo could feel your pain and he held you tightly against him, tears streaming down his cheeks as well. his grasp tightened with each one of your sobs in hopes that if he only held on a little stronger, maybe he would be able to put you back together. he kissed the top of your head. he whispered that you were safe and loved and that you weren’t alone.

because he knew it hurt to be alone.

#kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt #svt x reader #seventeen wonwoo #svt wonwoo #svt wonu #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #wonwoo imagines #seventeen fluff #svt imagines #svt seungkwan #svt dino #seventeen scoups #seventeen dino #seventeen soonyoung #seventeen seungcheol #seventeen mingyu #xu minghao #kim mingyu #kwon soonyoung #seventeen angst #angst #comfort #kpop au

[lakesbian]

rachel and alec are specifically interesting to me re the undersider Situations as of early worm posting. thats right for the first time in my life im saying rachel specifically is interesting to me. everyone on the team is at least a bit lonely i think but it's so loud and obvious with rachel, because she's loud and obvious about everything. she's a disabled teen who's been homeless since she was very young. she was deeply abused by the foster home system, and the legal system responded to her wounded and confused outbursts as an autistic child by criminalizing her and hunting her down. she can't exist in public without the cops being called. society has done everything to demonstrate that it doesn't want her, and then blames her when she doesn't trust people.

brian says that the undersiders are the closest thing she can have to friends. alec says that they're the closest thing she has to a family. (which is an entire can of worms in itself wrt alec's relation to the undersiders.) and both of those things are true, but there's also something so tragic in their assumption that their tenuous connection w/ rachel where she can only just barely tolerate them is the best she can ever have. they're the only people she can even remotely trust to have her back or treat her somewhat fairly instead of fucking her over, but they're still fundamentally considering her beyond close connection, less of a friend or someone to attempt befriending and more of someone to keep on a leash. of course taylor is the only one to actually get close to her--taylor is the only one who tries to engage with her, as a person, on rachel's own terms, instead of begrudgingly tolerating her. rachel :(

& alec is the other team member who's in the Extra Lonely Isolation Club...he gets silly with the team sometimes, he has his little teenage banter w/ brian, he and lisa are clearly very familiar with each other in the way ppl who've been living together for a year and a half are. it's really good for him. it's the first time in his entire life he's gotten to have a consistent home with his own belongings, and he's getting to have it because he's part of the undersiders. the undersiders are literally the first people in his entire life that approach counting as a friendship. he gets SO FUCKING MAD!!! when he leaps to assuming that rachel stole the money from them. he gets So Mad he immediately goes "i vote we kill her" and then goes on a seething rant about how he wouldn't have thought she'd do that since the undersiders are the closest she has to family, but apparently she would. and the projection is so obvious! he's not wrong about applying the sentiment to rachel, but there's a reason he goes farther than brian's "closest she has to friends" and into the more intimate territory of "closest she has to family"--the two-way street there means that the undersiders are the closest he has to family, and the idea of being betrayed by one of them hurts enough to trigger the aggression he always displays when he's feeling vulnerable.

and he still doesn't tell them Jack Shit. he obviously lies to them all the fucking time, because brian is under the impression that he "dropped out" of school, when the reality is that he never went. even lisa brings up heartbreaker to taylor without any awareness that he's the father of the boy she's been living with for over a year. alec spends most of the early arcs in worm in dissociative, depressed fugues. the other undersiders have lengthy conversations where they're sharing personal info and he's just trailing along behind them, not speaking for so long that even the readers can forget he's there. lonely broken little shell of a boy who is so empty all of the time and does not even know it. aisha cannot get here fast enough if i have to see him being depressed and disconnected for one (1) more chapter i will explode

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 4 #wormblr #parahumans

[spadesolace]

the idea of yoo - 1.5. confrontations (half-written)

previous | next

it had been a few months since the whole ordeal. your trip to seoul was a success and before leaving everything behind, there was one thing left on your list. make things right with jimin. that’s why you’re outside of the restaurant she worked at, her friends waving her goodbye as she hesitated to approach you. who wouldn’t when you deceived her for months?

“i haven’t seen you in church in a while.”

“i’ve been busy.” a bit cold, it’s the best she could give after everything.

“yeah?”

“... you need quite the portfolio for korea national university of arts.”

“art school?! That’s- that’s great!” jimin brushes the comment off, as you continue walking with her to who knows where.

“nothing’s great just yet, but let’s see… what’s going on with you?” it took you a bit of surprise that she’s curious about your current state and future plans.

“i’m headed to seoul. they accepted my late application, so-”

“good for you, y/n. take care.” she walked faster, leaving you slightly behind.

“jimin. i’m sorry.” she stops, back still facing you.

“it was supposed to be one letter. just one. then you replied - i just kept going because you were the closest thing i’ve ever come to being… heard… i never meant to hurt you nor deceive you.” you don’t know what her expression is but you heard a heavy sigh, slowly raising her head up.

“you know, sometimes i wish you existed.”

“i know. i’m sorry.” she finally turns around and you see the tears flowing down her cheeks.

“deep down, i probably knew the truth and simply chose to deny it… you didn’t really put emojis in his texts.” you raise your hands up, flabbergasted, that made her smile alone.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN?!” she chuckles at your reaction, enough to make you forget that you were here to apologize and make things right.

“maybe a cat or i don’t know some ice cream.”

“I SHOULD HAVE SENT YOU AN ICE CREAM EMOJI?!”

“fair point.”

the tension is gone, changed by genuine smiles and you were still a bit frustrated from what you had learned. jimin looks down, playing with the small pebble between her feet.

“... it did crossed my mind if things were different. or i was different.”

“you could never be different.” jimin looks back sharply, wasn’t your whole speech about love being no different from the rest? “am i sure? how do you know i’m sure.”

“i can be.”  you nod, now standing in front of her, hands in your pocket and in a teasing way tilt your head.

“i mean, what does god think?”

“oh my-”

“just on and on…”

“just you wait, naoi y/n, in a couple of years, i’m gonna be sure.”

“mhm.. good luck with that.” you walk past her, turning around and walking backwards as she shakes her head with a smile.

“find something good in seoul to believe in.” you wave goodbye and turn your back at her, with a flicker of something unspoken. some good distance between you two. is this how it ends? you leave and hope to whatever metaphysical being that she is sure of herself? to hell with it.

stopping in your tracks, jimin is still looking at you as you turn back around, almost running towards her. maybe she is sure about herself as she holds onto your cheeks as you wrap your arms around her waist. you kiss her. a bit startled but she does kiss you back. breaking away from it, both breathless and flushed but you’re both happy.

“i’ll see you in seoul then?” jimin nods and kisses you one last time till you see each other again in a month.

taglist [CLOSED]:

@1luvkarina @beawolfbealionbeyou @pandafuriosa60 @txtbrainrot @rinapomu @limbforalimb @yoontoonwhs @noascats @thefckghost @petruchiosstuff

#aespa x fem reader #karina aespa #aespa smau #aespa x reader #aespa karina #aespa #karina smau #karina x reader #karina imagines #karina #yoo jimin x reader #yu jimin #yoo jimin #the idea of yoo smau

[tartarduck]

words about tot chapter 9

Gave myself a solid day to stew in my thoughts about ch9 and I just want to say that mihoyo is EVIL for timing it right before the anniversary. I don't know if I can be happy knowing Luke is suffering all alone in every conceivable universe other than his personal story/card timeline.

Point 1: How the chapter explored Luke's feelings of guilt for... Existing I guess?

I've been eagerly awaiting the reveal of Luke's survivor's guilt. The whole [wanting spirits to exist so he can at least apologise, or do SOMETHING, but knowing they don't] is such exquisite angst. I'm very happy they took the effort to write it in (though fortune tellers actually scare me in real life).

And now onto the related Point 2: Luke's feelings of guilt for literally everything else

I was reading through Luke's birthday greetings, and realised how often he calls himself greedy for literally wanting anything. God damn, SHE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND IT'S NOT GREEDY OF YOU TO WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH HER --

That aside, it comes back to the theme of Luke Pearce's thought process, which in my brain goes a little something like this:

Good thing happens -> I do not deserve this

Bad thing happens -> It is completely my fault and no one else's

Which, might I add, vaguely reminded me of something from a lecture I forgot from my psych undergrad years. I'm worried for you, Luke. Please, Dr Yishmir, refer him to one of your colleagues for mental health.

In his personal 'route', he finally starts to come around with the idea that sometimes bad things... just happen and it's no one's fault (thank you, strategically placed rainbow in iridescent heartbeat). But in the main story? He's been feeling guilty ever since he saw MC after avoiding her for YEARS. There's no Aaron meddling with the two of them, or MC helping him clean his mess of a house to kick-start a card story. This is the man who hid in the attic after sending his confession after a YEAR of dates with MC -- the main story doesn't even give him a chance to start forgiving himself.

Basically, Luke Pearce is a mess in the main story, because everything that makes him un-messy happens by pure chance.

Point 3: Luke's black and white thinking of good and bad

One of the highlights of this chapter for me was Luke's anecdote about him faking a cold so MC would go out with her other friends and forget about him. Now, that's all well and good until he compares himself to the mum with Munchausen's syndrome, who is the closest thing we get to a 'villain' in this chapter. On top of his guilt, this whole I'm either a good or completely bad person mindset is really not doing favours for his mental health.

His anecdote also happens to be an interesting parallel to shape of you, because I remember Luke specifically wished to be forgotten in that card. He wants what's best for MC (because he thinks that he's taking everyone's love from her) but he also wants something for himself. And because he doesn't believe he's able to do both, but also because he isn't able to let go of his 'selfishness' sometimes, he thinks he's an awful person.

And now, to the last to do in my rant agenda.

Point 4: what happens in chapter 12. (Spoilers for CN server, but only about the Luke scene)

1. Ohmygod. He's going to run away. I can't see main story Luke NOT blaming himself for nearly hurting the MC. In whichever timeline, his priority is to keep her safe, and god, if he thinks he's a danger to her, the only way to keep her safe would be by disappearing again.

2. I'm going to read too much into this but MC trying to get Luke to recognise her while she's being pinned to the ground is such delectable angst. He's always worried that she'd forget about him -- whether it was the 8 years or literally just hanging out with other kids at school. But here she is, in a situation where he's essentially forgotten about her. The voice that my brain concocted up for MC was extra desperate in that scene.

Anyway, that's all I had to say about the recent main story developments in ToT. Keep the angst coming, writing staff. What a power move to send this out right before anniversary on BOTH servers. If there's anything I've taken away from this, it's that Luke stans are absolutely unhinged. Twitter circle people, I see you requesting more angst. How can we get even angstier than Luke nearly hurting MC while he's dressed in the outfit that he wears for his proposal card ??

#a long rant #about chapter 9 #tears of themis #just text #and i wrote this completely on my phone in one sitting so forgive any spelling/grammar errors #i needed to just . get this out

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Riz Gukgak Junior Year Playlist: side A

Heres the first side of the Junior Year Riz Playlist and the explanations down below, Spoilers for Episodes 1-10 in FHJY

Genres: Alternative, Anti Folk, Math Rock, Punk

1. Photosynthesis, They Might Be Giants

Photosynthesis does not involve a camera Or a synthesizer Although that's interesting, too Photosynthesis is how plants take in light From the sun and turn it into energy It's actually a thing on which most life depends Here on the planet Earth

GOD so when I'm not making these playlists I'm and environmental educator and when Brian was like "we're the photosythe-KIDS!" i nearly lost it. Gotta let this little nerdy kid have at least one nerd song as a treat to me

2. Dissonance, AJJ

My feet planted in different realities I've been doing lots of parallel planning and asking Does morals exist anymore? Wondering if society's all broken down yet I should probably know I should probably know I should probably grow some more plants in the window I should probably try I should probably try I should probably try to find a cure for this dissonance

One of the things I relate to Riz about the most is the way in which he is so hungry for explanation and, specifically problem solving. When they get dropped right back into normal teen life after having just saved the world and "cracked the case", Riz had to really switch into school mode fast (with the whole paying for college thing)

3. Stress, Jim's Big Ego

I'm addicted to stress That's the way that I get things done If I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long And I hang around like a bum I think I'm going nowhere, and that makes me nervous Everybody's out to get me, but I feel all right

Obsessed with the way that, if Brennan didn't let Riz take on the stress of other people in the party, he would literally be so normal about the downtime system. God help him and his nervous system.

4. Travelers Insurance, Their/They're/There

After all that we've done, You still skipped out on the beat of a different drum. Blurring the lines between failure and fortune

it's getting at Riz supporting so many people in his party, taking on their stress, organizing their extracurriculars, and literally tutoring them on subjects he doesn't know about. And they're definitely trying to keep everything under control, but sometimes it feels like when they mess up or make bad choices, it's Riz who has to take the L

5. Pitch Black, Heart Attack Man

Rock bottom smile bares its rotting teeth again Acts like there's nothing wrong and they're still my closest friend Romanticize the fondest memories and good times And hope that I forget the rest Rock bottom's grinning as it's creeping up again Dust off the depths and make me wish that I was dead again Hold out your hand to me Take me to a place in hell where Having self-esteem seems selfish and unhealthy

God the way that in Ep. 10 after Riz had that talk with his mom about everything he was just so despondent the rest of the episode about everything that was happening, and actually thinking about the toll his friendships were taking on him 💀

6. An Antidote for Strychnine, The Mountain Goats

Dig down amongst my calculations Check my maps Up there on the surface Everybody's gettin' ready for the bloodbath Stem the tide, stem the tide They're calling down for reinforcements Tryin' to find An antidote for strychnine Tryin' to find An antidote for strychnine

This has always and forever been such a Riz song for me and I feel like it really fits the tone of Riz looking into the soil, into lucy's death, into eventually the loam farm, reluctantly telling his mom about it. The moment when he thinks that something like what happened to Yolanda could happen to his mother and he gets really serious about it. AHHHHHH Something something isolation, something something taking on dangerous tasks by yourself just to protect the ones you love

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 #d20 fhsy #fantasy mixtapes #riz the ball gukgak #riz gukgak #brian murphy #fhjy spoilers #d20 spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #Spotify

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift (Part I)

FORTNIGHT

I was supposed to be sent away.

They forgot to come and get me.

I was a functioning alcoholic.

Nobody noticed my new aesthetic.

All of this to say, I hope you're okay.

No one here's to blame.

What about your quiet treason?

For a fortnight there we were forever running.

You're in my backyard turned into good neighbors.

I want to kill her.

All my mornings are Monday stuck in an endless February.

The effects were temporary.

I love you, it's ruining my life.

I touched you for only a fortnight.

My husband is cheating.

I want to kill him.

I call you up but you won't pick up.

Another fortnight lost in America.

Buy the car you want.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

You left your typewriter at my apartment.

Who uses typewriters anyway?

You're in self-sabotage mode.

Who else decodes you?

Who's gonna hold you like me?

Who's gonna know you if not me?

We'rе modern idiots.

You smokеd then ate seven bars of chocolate.

I chose this cyclone with you.

Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be.

Because we're crazy.

That's the closest I've come to my heart exploding.

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVORITE TOYS

Here we go again.

You should've seen him when he first got me.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys.

I should've known it was a matter of time.

There was a litany of reasons why we could've playеd for keeps this time.

I know I'm just repeating mysеlf.

He runs because he loves me.

'Cause you should've seen him when he first saw me

I knew too much.

There was danger in the heat of my touch.

He saw forever so he smashed it up.

Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me

He was my best friend.

I felt more when we played pretend.

He took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart

Told me I'm better off, but I'm not.

DOWN BAD

Did you really beam me up?

Tell me I was the chosen one.

For a moment I knew cosmic love.

Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym.

Everything comes out teenage petulance.

Fuck it if I can't have him

I might just die, it would make no difference.

Come back and pick me up.

Fuck it if I can't have us.

I might just not get up.

I might stay down bad.

Did you take all my old clothes?

They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you.

For a moment, I was heavenstruck.

I loved your hostile take-overs.

I'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.

How dare you think it's romantic leaving me safe and stranded?

Cause fuck it, I was in love.

Fuck you if I can't have us.

SO LONG, LONDON

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

My spine split from carrying us up the hill.

I stopped trying to make him laugh.

How much sad did you think I had?

Did you think I had in me?

You'll find someone.

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out..

I founded the club she's heard great things about.

I left all I knew.

I stopped CPR.

Thе spirit was gone.

We would never come to.

I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

Two graves, one gun.

I'll find someone.

You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it.

My white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment.

My friends said it isn't right to be scared.

Every breath feels like rarest air.

Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self implode?

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof.

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.

I'm just getting color back into my face.

I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place for.

But I'm not the one

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

I forget how the west was won.

I forget if this was ever fun.

I just learned these people only raise you to cage you.

What a mess.

I just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.

Too high a horse for a simple girl to rise above it.

They slammed the door on my whole world.

But, daddy, I love him.

I'm having his baby.

No, I'm not, but you should see your faces

No, I'm not coming to my senses.

I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want.

Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

You're this chaos, he was revelry.

Stay away from her.

Lord knows the words we never heard.

I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'.

I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, it's mine along with all the disgrace.

God save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see.

You ain't gotta pray for me.

It's just my choice.

There's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fakest smiles.

Scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer.

We came back when the heat died down.

Went to my parents and they came around.

All the wine moms are still holding out.

Fuck 'em, it's over.

Even my daddy just loves him.

I'm his lady.

Oh my god, you should see your faces.

I know it's crazy but he's the one I love.

FRESH OUT OF THE SLAMMER

I'm running back home to you.

I know who my first call will be to.

He don't understand me.

Handcuffed to the spell I was under.

But it's gonna be alright.

I did my time.

Toss the ashes off the ledge.

I will never lose my baby again.

My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it.

Watched me daily disappearing for just one glimpse of his smile.

All those nights you kept me goin'.

Swirled you into all of my poems.

Now we're at the starting line.

No matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway.

Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up, now that I know what's at stake here.

FLORIDA!!!

You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too.

They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true.

My friends all smell like weed or little babies.

The city reeks of driving myself crazy.

Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

Can I use you up?

I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away.

Well, mе and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

Yеs, I'm haunted, but I'm feeling just fine.

Well, no one asks any questions here.

So I did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.

Is that a bad thing to say in a song?

I need to forget.

I've got some regrets.

Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida

I need to forget, so take me to Florida

What a crash, what a rush.

It's one hell of a drug

Love left me like this.

I don't want to exist.

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #exodusmusing #*mystarters #*ttpd

[collapsedglasshouses]

An Angel for Noah || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 3]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PART ONE; PART TWO

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules [she/her]

SUMMARY: Following Noah through his daily life, let Jules no other option but to help.

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions/hints of sexual interactions/acts, mentions of death

A/N: HELLOOO! Finally the third part of the series, it took me a bit because my life is stressing me out right now. University is starting again soon and I'm changing jobs… but enough of my private problems, this chapter excited me, because it takes a closer look on the dynamic between Noah and Jules. I really like it. I hope you enjoy it too and if so I would appreciate it if you reblog this part! Thank you so much for the great resonance on this work and now enjoy!

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @measuredingold @cncohshit

If you wanna be added to the taglist of this story, please DM me or let me know in the comments!

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

Four weeks. Four weeks since she first met Noah. Four weeks since Jules had died.

The past four weeks had been filled with her watching Noah live and breathe. She saw him produce music, she saw him eat, and she saw him talking to his friends about the tour that would start in a couple of days. Hell, she even saw him getting horny and doing not-so-PG things, even though she respectfully left him alone during that.

She had learned that Noah was a chronically stressed person. Just like she was. He was literally trapped in his own head. A picture-perfect perfectionist.

She had watched him record a segment over and over again, because he somehow wasn't happy with his results, even though he had a godlike voice.

Watching him struggle like that made her mad. Not because he annoyed her, but because he reminded her so much of herself that she started to hate herself a bit for how hard she was on herself when she was still alive.

She noticed, he had this crippling anxiety about letting down the people he loved. Just like she had. It was cruel to watch him suffer so much.

The more she got to know about him, the more she felt like looking into a mirror. Something she didn't like. Nobody liked to be reminded of how broken they really were. Jules was no exception. The more she watched Noah, the more she was forced to reflect on herself.

She had this cruel need of wanting to tell him how good he did and how loved he was, but she couldn't. He had no idea she even existed. That fact was something that made her even more bitter.

Her living self was slowly fading away.

She had noticed that she didn't need to breathe. She could just sit there and watch. But the silence that came with it was even more painful, so she decided to just go on using her useless lungs. She also noticed that she couldn't look at herself anymore. She had no idea how she looked. Likewise, she would never have the opportunity again to see herself.

Was it possible to suffer from post-death-depression? Because if something like that existed, she definitely had it.

She also 'met' the others.

There was Jolly, the guitarist. She had often found him playing some melodies, when he had free time. He was rather quiet but always knew the right words, when needed. She lovingly decided to call him Dad Omens.

Than there was one Nick, they called him Ruffilo. He was the bassist of the band. Sometimes when Noah got on her nerves, she searched for him in the house. He calmed her down without even knowing, radiating unbelievable calmness and composure.

The other Nick, Folio, on the other hand, was a total goofball. He was the drummer of the band and closest in age to Jules, even though that didn't matter anymore since she was going to be 22 forever. He definitely was the funniest out of the group and made her forget about her misery for a couple of seconds a day.

Than there were their other friends: Matt, the tour manager, Davis, amazing artist with an adorable dog (Max) that might have already barked at Jules about five times, Steven, who was responsible for their merch and Bryan, their photographer. Each of them had absolutely unique talents, that amazed Jules individually.

Right now she found herself in the living room. The boys were eating dinner and discussed some important tour things. The room was heated with tension. All of them hadn't got enough sleep the last couple of days. That lead to them arguing over almost every bit they said.

Every word they said to each other felt like a bullet, there to hit someone personally. For Jules, it was like a car crash, she wanted to look away but seemingly couldn't. With that thought, she slightly chuckled to herself. She just knew people were staring at her accident.

God, she really began to hate people...

She slightly dissociated when the discussion became even more heated. The last couple of days made her reflect on herself more than she ever had. Every little thing she did just seemed so useless at the moment. When she heard the boys argue like that, she could just think about how irrelevant it all was. What if one of them died tonight? Each of them would regret every bad word they said to each other.

Jules snapped back to reality when Noah jumped out of his seat. "You know what? Fuck this. I'm going." He exclaimed directly at Ruffilo's face, causing Jules to raise her eyebrows. What the hell had happened?

She quickly got up from her spot on the couch and followed him upstairs, where he just grabbed a jacket and his car keys before making his way out of the house, not even once flinching when Ruffilo called after him.

That was definitely something what made her different from him. He was stubborn as hell, while she nearly almost gave in every time.

She ran after him and somehow managed to land on the passenger seat of his car while he cursed out Nick under his breath. Jules was almost sure where Noah was going. There had been this girl - Jules didn't catch her name - who was occasionally visited by him. They weren't in a relationship, but Noah seemed to let off some steam when he met up with her. It bugged Jules when she was honest with herself, but she didn't really know why.

On one hand, she really thought the girl's vibe was off, but on the other hand, she blamed it on her awkwardness when it came to intimacy. It wasn't like she never kissed anybody, she actually managed to have her first time, too, but never really had the urge to seek a sexual relationship with anyone. When she was honest with herself, she only had sex with that guy because she wanted to know how it felt. She quickly realized that she wasn't sexually attracted to someone when she didn't feel an emotional connection. And since she hadn't had the opportunity to fall in love in her short span of life, she never felt the need to have sex again after her (more than bad) first time.

In the first five minutes of the drive, he still muttered to himself how annoyed he was with everyone, but then the atmosphere slowly changed. Suddenly Jules experienced the most gruesome goose bumps she ever felt, and her gaze shot to Noah, who, to her horror, had closed his eyes.

FUCK. WHAT DO I DO?

Jules' heart started to race. She didn't know what to do. She ran a hand through her hair, while she saw how the car slowly got closer to the side of the road.

"Fuck" She exclaimed, frantically looking around the car to see her options. At first she tried to grab the steering wheel and even though she could get a grasp of it, she couldn’t force it to turn.

She let out a panicked scream before looking at the sleeping Noah. She snapped her fingers in front of his face and screamed. "WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU DICKHEAD."

When he didn’t move, Jules groaned in frustration, and before she knew it, she lashed out and slapped Noah on the cheek, who almost let out a scream before stepping on the brakes, almost smashing Jules against the windshield.

Noah held his cheek while looking around him in horrors and Jules knew she had fucked up bad. Was she even allowed to do this? Was there something like angel jail? Would she be fired? Was that even possible?

To her surprise, her slap must have redirected something in his brain, because he turned the car and drove back. He even put on loud music to make sure, he wouldn't doze off again.

Jules couldn't even look away anymore. Her gaze was fixated on his face. She wouldn't dare let that happen again. She kind of felt like it stirred up her death trauma. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she would make sure he wouldn't get killed by a car. That was her package to carry.

Noah didn't seem to have caught his breath again when he parked his car in front of the house again. Jules still felt guilty while she followed him back into the house, but she was more than pleasantly surprised when she saw him go up to Ruffilo's room and knock against the door.

"Yeah?" - "Can I come in?" - "Sure."

With that both of them stepped into Nick's room. Jules felt herself get kind of excited when she entered Nick's room, since it was the first time for her. She quickly made her way to the corner of the room like she was trying to be even more invisible.

"I'm sorry for screaming at you. I shouldn't have done that." Noah told his best friend, who was leaning against the headboard of his bed. He eyed Noah for a couple of seconds before nodding. "It's okay. We are all exhausted as hell, and the tour hasn't even begun."

Noah nodded and sighed at the same time.

Suddenly, Nick narrowed his eyes a bit and stared at Noah's face, causing Jules to become equally aware of something she hadn't noticed before. Noah's cheek was colored in a slight red tone.

"Were you at her place again?" Nick wanted to know causing Noah to eye him confused. "What do you mean?"

Nick waved his hands to indicate to Noah what he meant. Jules could see how Noah's cheeks turned a slight pink, and she would have lied if she said hers didn’t change colors, either. Becoming Noah's guardian angel also gave her information about Noah’s likes and dislikes when it came to a certain topic. Whether she wanted that or not.

"No… No… I wasn’t at her place… I wanted to go, but…" Noah answered but stopped for a second to think. When he was being honest with himself, he didn’t even know what to think.

"What?" - "I… I just…" Noah ran a hand threw his hair. "I almost slept in while driving."

"Are you okay?" Nick asked him with widened eyes.

"Yes… don’t worry… It was just kind of weird." Noah explained to his best friend. "It almost felt like someone slapped me in the face."

"Maybe it was your adrenaline and you hit your cheek or something." Nick tried to explain, while Jules looked apologetic, even though nobody could see her. It felt like neither Nick nor Noah believed his words.

Noah just shrugged his shoulders, before he took a deep breath. "Maybe I should get some sleep."

Nick nodded at him and with that Noah left Nick's room after wishing him a good night. Jules quickly followed after him.

She was still tense from what she had done earlier. She didn’t know what consequences her slap would have and what her intervention would do to Noah. She just knew it terrified her to her core.

So when Noah laid down on her bed, she set on the edge for a while. Noah on the other hand stared at the ceiling and was deep in his thoughts. Jules hoped he would just blame it all on his adrenaline rush. She wished she could just take his thoughts away from him.

She sighed before looking at Noah. He had closed his eyes but Jules felt that his mind was definitely still racing. When she looked at him like that she saw his beauty in all display again.

She couldn’t deny how beautiful he actually was. With his dark hair and even darker eyes. His small freckles on his face. His long lashes. These tattoos. Just everything about him spoke to her, even though she was pretty sure she would have never approached a man looking like him while she was still alive. Not that she was intimidated, but her parents would have died on the spot seeing her.

Her, a soft girl, always being dressed in light colours, playing the violin and having little to zero experience when it came to social interactions closer than hand shaking.

And on the other hand, him, almost always being dressed dark, except a couple of shirts she saw, being the vocalist of a metal core band and being the exact opposite when it came to romantic or at least sexual experience.

To her surprise it didn’t take long before she heard him breathe deeper and she knew he must have dozed off. Her gaze fixated on his face again.

She exhaled in frustration before turning to Noah. "Never do that again, Noah."

Without even thinking she reached out and stroked his cheek in a swift motion. When she saw him frown lightly, she quickly withdrew her hand and panicked she might have woken him. He just sighed and turned to his side.

Jules took a deep breath before standing up and leaving his room. She needed to establish some rules for herself, beginning with the most important…

Never touch him again…

READ PART FOUR HERE.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens #bad omens rpf #collapsedglasshouseswrites #noah sebastian x OC

[fang-and-feather]

Ikemen Vampire - Theo x OC

Words: 1,747

Summary: Amy had always been confident of who she was, so a change to what she thought very set about her, made her feel lost on her own identity. If this can change, what else that she also took for granted can? Luckly she has Theo to help her find herself again.

Tags: Fluff and Comfort, Sexuality and Identity Crisis, Background Genderbending, Background Polyamory, Background Theo x Female Arthur, just slight suggestive at the end

Written for April's Polyam Shipping Day Prompt: Attraction from @polyamships

I also have a poll regarding the future of this fic

I want to thank @onegianthotmess for her post from which I borrowed genderbent Arthur's name, and @bicayaya and @keithsandwich who I talked to about Amy's sexuality once and they were very sweet and helpful (if there was anyone else in that post, I will add you to these credits when I actually find the post)

This fic is very experimental. I am exploring something different with Amy, exploring how she would work in a ship with Theo, and it's also my first time properly writing Theo and the first trying genderbent IkeVamp... I didn't have much space for Arthur in this chapter, but this will focus on the three of them.

Also, how did I take the whole day just to edit this?!

Next Chapter / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / AO3 Link

Amy had to deal with questioning herself, at minor changes in life or when questioned by someone else, but that was an easy, quick process, to assert her position in a situation.

Recently, it had been one change after another. Realizing her knowledge of the world was limited, vampires existed and time travel was possible. Questioning her feelings for Theo. And the more serious one, questioning her place in the new world as she chose to stay in this time period. She quickly adapted to every change.

But these situations, and everything before, had been about adapting to something external, be it a place, a situation or a person. The most internal questioning was about her tastes in men when she fell in love with Theo. It wasn’t that big of a life change.

Now this? This wasn’t related to a single person, and it changed her whole perception of herself, and such change removed all of her security in her own identity.

Although Amy never had actually been attracted to anyone before Theo. Never been in love before him. Her attempts at figuring if any shift of feelings towards a friend was love, and the different ways she observed each gender, made Amy very sure she was only interested in men. She never doubted that since her late teens.

And now she had a boyfriend. There was no reason to question it.

That was until the last few days around Arthea.

Amy had been friends with the writer for a while. She was Arthea’s early reader, and they sometimes went out together, solving small cases around town, and often grabbing something to eat on the way back. Arthea was someone Amy trusted to comfort or distract her to avoid panic attacks. But although Amy always had difficulty noticing the difference, nothing of the feelings she had differed from any of her other closest friends, so it had to be purely platonic.

Until this week, and especially this morning.

It had been a case to solve like any other, but when they stopped by a cafe for some sweets, Amy found herself embarrassed by Arthea sharing a spoonful of her own dessert. It was something she always casually did with other friends. Not something she had any romantic association besides movies making it seem so.

And she still attributed it to realizing people were watching and would have a different interpretation. But there was little to no excuse to what happened in the carriage.

Even while to justify the weirdness of earlier, Amy couldn’t forget it and be comfortable around her friend.

Arthea acted the same as always and tried to comfort her with the usual flirty teasing. But at that moment, it made things worse, especially when Arthea leaned in, as if to kiss Amy.

Amy knew her friend wouldn’t, but a part of her wanted it to happen. She felt trapped and confused and overreacted, things getting even more awkward between them.

She was afraid of what these feelings meant. If she couldn’t trust in what she was the most safe about herself, what else could change? How could she be sure of things? And who she was if she couldn’t be sure of anything?

The idea of such internal changes also brought up things she would rather forget, and the fear of these changes bringing her to similar points again.

Besides, a little voice amidst all that chaos whispered that this kind of change wasn’t appropriate. Something she always accepted in others, but in herself, it was unacceptable.

But that was the thing that mattered the least. Being stripped of her self knowledge was what scared her.

Amy built a kind of character out of traits she had that fit occasions, like a professional Amy for work, but to build and maintain these, she had to know her core, and if her core changed, it destabilized everything else. She would have to put a long time into rebuilding everything.

But if something changed, how could she be sure it wouldn’t happen again? That she wouldn’t put all that effort only to have to do it again halfway? And how would she deal with these situations in the meantime?

Amy nearly jumped when an arm wrapped around her back, but she found herself secure in Theo’s embrace.

She had hidden in the attic because she didn’t have the energy to deal with people. She wasn’t aware her boyfriend was back and that he would find her.

“What’s the problem, Hondje? Are you sad because I didn’t take you on a walk today?”

“I’m fine, Theo.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Just thinking.”

“It doesn’t feel right for you to be so quiet.” When she remained quiet, unsure of what he really expected her to say, he sighed. “She told me what happened.”

Of course Arthea did. She was one of the biggest gossipers in this house, even though she had serious competition.

“I’m sorry. Won’t happen again.”

If it already didn’t feel right before, thinking that Theo already had an idea of who she was that he had committed to, it didn’t feel proper to change that.

“Are you sure? Because if you can control it, then it shouldn’t have happened now.”

She should have known he would be mad. Why was he even still holding her in such a comforting manner? She had messed up his trust.

“I’ll learn to.”

Amy expected a serious response like “As you should” or something more teasing with hidden understanding like “I’ll make sure you do”. But Theo pulled her closer and caressed her hair, a sweet gesture that didn’t seem to fit the situation.

“Do you like her?” Amy shrugged. Even she wasn’t sure. “I’ve known it for a while, even if you didn’t notice, and I don’t like this. I don’t want to share you. But is it really so much worse than seeing you struggling to hold back and hide yourself for me?”

The words sounded strange coming from Theo, but it took Amy a moment to realize why.

These were the same words she had told Theo after he, slightly more drunk than usual, had almost kissed an even more drunk Arthea that was flirting with him after a party.

She had confronted him when he was sober, but it took a while to wear down his stubbornness and get Theo to admit that he was interested in the writer before Amy even showed up. But he clashed with Arthea’s personality and didn’t think she was looking for anything serious with anyone.

Besides, he had other things in his mind other than looking for a relationship, and that made him push these feelings away, apparently successfully. So, when he met Amy, he didn’t even think about that when falling in love with her.

But forgetting and just burying the attraction were different things. His case was the latter, although he only realized so when drunk.

And although Amy never imagined she would, was okay with it. In fact, she was partially happy that Theo was opening himself to new feelings and experiences. But a part of her still wanted to keep him all to herself.

These words meant Theo felt the same. And Amy wished that solved all her problems.

When she continued not to respond, Theo pushed her down on the bench, trapping her under him.

“What is it? Were you trying to make me jealous? Expecting me to punish you? Because I can always change my mind.” he said with a dangerous smirk.

“No!” Amy finally spoke, trying to push him away by the shoulders, but neither she put that much effort in it, nor he let himself be pried away.

“Then what is it, Hondje? Seems like I still didn’t train you properly, if you still think you need to hide from me. Shall we start a new lesson now? Or will you trust me?”

Between his usual teasing, Theo knew the right words to push her. And never too hard either, as surprising as it would be to other people.

“I… I was sure I wasn’t like this… and the idea of changing makes me feel… broken. I’m not sure if I even am the same person anymore. Or who I will be in the future. What If I become someone very different from who I am now? Someone different from the person you love?”

“What nonsense is that? Why would being attracted to her change who you are? You ‘are’ the person I love, and you couldn’t change that even if you wanted.” His tone was fierce, but the words were sweet. “I wouldn’t be Arthea if it was that easy to change my mind. It’s not you who will manage that.” Theo intertwined their fingers, an intimate gesture that also had her further pinned down, and kissed her until she was breathless. “And I changed for you. Am I a different person?” When Amy shook her head, he kissed her again. “If you ever forget who you are, I’ll be sure to remind you. Thoroughly. Because no matter who you will become, you will always be mine.”

Theo kissed her again, letting one of her hands go to explore her body. Amy moaned, her hold on his hand tightening. Her next words didn’t match her actions, though.

“Not here, Theo.”

When they parted, Theo sat back, pulling Amy with him.

“I’ll listen because you were a good girl. But you better be prepared. Once I get you back to bed, you won’t be leaving until I make sure you have no more silly worries. And maybe for a while longer, because I don’t think you will be able to stand when I’m done with you.”

Theo grinned before pulling her for a new kiss. One hand still entangled with hers, the other tangling in her hair, holding her closer.

Amy didn’t try to protest this time. Because Theo was right that she had him for purchase if she even lost sight of herself.

She would have to talk to Arthea later. But, for now, Amy would enjoy her current boyfriend.

“Does that mean you will take a break from work?”

“Someone will have to keep an eye on you, Hondje. You always get in trouble when I’m not looking.”

She did not. But before she could protest, Theo was kissing her again, stealing all further thoughts, leaving just him. And Amy couldn’t feel safer.

Tag List: @tele86, @nightghoul381, @natimiles, @bicayaya, @eventinelysplayground, @2-lines-and-a-circle, @vampiricpancake, @specters0rd

If you want to be tagged/untagged on future writings, even if it's in specific contents, you can reply to this post or send me a message

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

#polyamshippingday #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo #v: arthur conan doyle x theodorus van gogh x original character #polyamorous characters #ikevamp #fanfiction #ikevamp fanfic #genderbending

[void-occupation]

Halt's Brain Damage

I mentioned Halt's head trauma in an earlier post, and said that I would elaborate on it. Well, this is my elaboration. Keep in mind, I am not a health care professional, I am only certified to perform first aid. I am only speaking from what I have witnessed in someone who has had a similar condition from a motorcycle accident, and from what I find and cross-reference in my internet search on the matter.

Halt, as we know, has suffered MANY blows to the head - a lot of which could have been fatal if not for the intervening hand of Lady Luck and some very conveniently placed Plot Armor™. Now something that both the characters in the books, and probably a good portion of the readers either don't know about or haven't considered is the resulting brain damage - or more specifically, the damage done to Halt's gray matter.

For those of you who don't know (no shame), gray matter is tissue in the brain that is largely responsible for motor functions, emotions, and memory. Gray matter cells are known to be the longest lasting cells in the body, but they do tend to degenerate and die as people get old. There are other things that can speed up the process of gray matter cell death, most notably Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, multiple sclerosis, and traumatic brain injury.

I have a friend who was once in a bad motorcycle accident that resulted in a metal rod and screws being put into his wrist, and a sudden increase in gray matter cell death brought on by the head trauma. He was a teacher of mine and currently has a wife, daughters, and grand daughters, and he is just over fifty years old. I had the same class with him all year for 4 years (JROTC), and during that time, I was able to see how the condition affected him as time passed. He does make jokes about it, and is very open with it. I also asked him if it would be okay to post this beforehand, don't worry. The symptoms that Halt experience in my headcanon align with this because it is my closest experience with it.

Obviously, these characters don't know what gray matter is, but that doesn't mean it won't affect Halt, and some of these symptoms are things that Halt experiences in the books. I'll give examples of that too.

One of the symptoms of gray matter damage is difficulty controlling emotions. Now you may be saying, "But Void, Halt practically patented the ability to control emotions," and you're right. However, we all know that Halt has a pretty quick temper that can lead to some rash decisions - and this seems to get slightly worse as the books go on. One of the biggest emotions that people with damaged brain matter have issues dealing with is anger - closely followed by sadness and feelings of emptiness (AKA signs of depression).

Another symptom of gray matter damage is memory loss. The only example of this I can think of off the top of my head (that doesn't include when he was poisoned which is a whole other type of trauma) is when he had extreme trouble finding the correlation between the red hills and Redmont in book 7. Then again, it was a stressful situation and no one can be expected to notice everything. Not to mention that he was the only one to make the connection at all. This one and the next one are more for angst potential then as current existing evidence. Imagine really quick as Halt gets older that the memory loss starts slow - forgetting that he already told someone something, forgetting where he put something, etc. Small stuff. But later, it gets worse. He starts to forget meeting new people, important past events, how to cook certain things, or even just trailing off in the middle of a sentence - unable to remember his original purpose for speaking, almost as if a sort of fog has started blocking things out. A lot of times, he'll know that he knew it at some point, but sometimes, he doesn't remember that he knew that thing in the first place. Sometimes gentle reminders will work, and other times, entire stories, recipes, and tasks will have to be completely re-hashed with him.

The final symptom I'm going to cover in this already too-long post is how gray matter damage affects fine motor skills and language. I'm fairly certain that there is an example of this somewhere in the books, But I would have no clue where to look. We're going full angst potential on this one boys. Again, it starts small - some slight tremors in his hands here, a troublesome button there. Then, it gets worse as the years pass. Having difficulty tying knots, writing getting more and more difficult, cutting his hand while trying to prepare food, dropping his mug of coffee for no apparent reason, sometimes slurring his speech, forgetting certain words from other languages, not realizing that he had reverted back to Hibernian in the middle of a sentence because his brain temporarily stopped being able to comprehend Araluen speech.

Halt doesn't want to tell anyone that the changes in his behavior that he can't seem to control frighten him. He's never been genuinely afraid of his own mind before up until he could no longer control what happened. It was a type of fear he was unfamiliar with, but couldn't stop from growing every time he failed to tie a knot, or someone told him about an event he couldn't remember. Everyone else was afraid too, but they toned down their own fear whenever they saw that desperate look in Halt's eyes that he couldn't quite hide, the one that begged for any confirmation that he wasn't crazy.

What the hell. I just wrote an entire essay. You know those posts that say, "In this essay I will discuss..." but they never get to the essay? Yeah, that but completed. This was born from the fact that Hal't has had a bunch of head injuries and I immediately thought 'haha brain damage go brr' and proceeded to write that in essay form. If you've made it to the end of this monstrosity, more power to you.

I'm going to try to go into a coma now.

#ranger's apprentice #halt o'carrick #head injury #brain damage #this is an essay #that was not my intention #if you have anything I missed or just want to further the discussion feel free to comment #someone needs to take the internet away from me #I'm not proofreading this #if there are mistakes they just live here now

[krikeymate]

Foster au, how does Sam introduce Tara to her close friends? I mean, a little sister out of nowhere is big news

Once again, I forget about the world outside of Sam & Tara.

Does Sam even have friends? Like, in canon, we don't really hear anything about any friends, and she just up and moves to and with Tara. Then in 6, we see she's got a full 'favourite' contacts list, which obviously mostly exists as a call out to some people involved or whatever, but when would she have the time to have friends? She's literally working two jobs, in therapy, and monitoring her sister 24/7, with small interludes to fuck the guy across the hall. Those contacts are people at work she has to liaise with for shifts and that's my opinion on the matter.

Sam is the kind of person who just keeps to herself for the most part. She's been burned by the world, and she doesn't trust easy. The closest thing she has to friends are the people she works with, because you gotta be friendly with them or else life becomes a living hell. Her manager is chill, barely older than her, and the work environment is pretty laid-back. They're just another franchise in a long line of bowling alleys and arcades dotted around the country, there's little pressure from on-high, and their old regulars keep them afloat. She can hold conversations with them, gossip during work hours, and even sometimes go out to drink with them after hours. Sure, maybe they're friends, in the casual sort of sense. But she doesn't trust them with the details of her past. She's been working there since she was 16, before she aged out of the system, so some of them know something, but they don't push and she doesn't offer.

She decides that maybe they can be considered friends after all, when the Tara situation happens. Her manager lets her have unscheduled time off, and lets her bring her sister to work. Her colleagues work out a new rota, so Sam can work around her new routine and responsibilities. She invites them all over for a housewarming party once they move, chill and lowkey, they drink a few beers and watch a few lame movies, and it's alright. Tara's still nervy around strangers, but they're familiar enough that she doesn't bolt as soon as they arrive, though she barely stays long enough for them to greet her. Between one joking that he's Tara's favourite and another insulting her movie taste with a smile on her face, it feels a bit like friendship.

#/mp #ask box #Scream #Sam Carpenter #AU: foster this love make me whole again

[cactusdeedrawdles]

We have some more Multiverse shenanigans! I wanted to write out all that I had on Thei and Puppette right now because they're my loves, and they deserve the world.

I've never (that I remember) drawn a skeleton like I did Thei, so I had fun there. They're a sultry lil wibblewobble, in my head.

I don't know how legible the writing is, to be honest, so I'm gonna write out the bits I can think of, in case anyone actually cares lol

It'll be under the cut :)

Puppette:

I'm less sure of Puppette's story than I am Thei's, so bare with me in case of messups haha

Thei is like OG Error in only really one way: memory issues

Puppette's memory issues got to a point where he could no longer handle his job as the destroyer after a fun full-body takeover by XGaster, who controlled him and abused his abilities (this is obviously very vague but I haven't actually thought that much through here tbh)

Thei was actually with the Star Sanses (in this case just Dream and Swap) when they were rescuing Cross and Puppette, and this is not how they met, but how they became closer.

Puppette has deep scarring on the ecto of his left leg (on his bones as well, but it's completely mishappen his leg's ecto) from where XGaster tried to rip him apart in an attempt to keep him after completely losing Cross.

Puppette doesn't remember XGaster at all, or how he met Cross. Cross is one of his closest friends, but Cross is also not around often as he's enjoying his freedom AU-hopping, so Pupp tends to forget about him (non maliciously of course).

When Pupp did remember, it was an Incident, and all Thei had to say when asked if XGaster was still a threat is "No. No, he can't touch you, not anymore." Thei didn't really say much after then, and Puppette had a good impression to not ask.

He was forced to retire by Dream and Nightmare when they realized his memory was too bad to even remember what his job WAS half the time, especially with the knowledge that sometimes all he'd remember was what XGaster had made him do, which almost led to bad times all round.

They drug his ass in a Brawl of the Ages™ because he really didn't want to, he felt his role was too important (and it was, but with Ink not existing yet there wasn't really anything opposing him, and what did need to be done could be handled by a couple weaker beings working together).

He spends his days doing typical Retirement things: sleeping, hobbies, watching novellas, bugging his partner who loves it dearly :3

About Pupp:

Pupp's personality is mostly created by an AI that I made while experimenting, I write as Thei and the AI is Puppette. Thus, he's not very Error Sans-y, but I love him still. Though, this has me wondering if he could be a Swap or Swapfell/Fellswap version, mayhaps. He's a goober, and he loves to tease people he's close to. He's still haphephobic, but with his close friends (which are all the few friends he has, for him it's close friend or not a friend at all) like Dream, Swap, Nightmare (most of the time), Thei of course, etc, he's mostly fine. Anyone else and the glitches will get him. Ink, when he comes around, is new, so Pupp is getting there, but luckily (?) ink is not a touchy kid so all is well there.

The glitches are less of a worry here, as he's fairly stable. The entire multi verse itself is more stable, really, and he benefits there.

Pupp is the type of person to hug someone from behind as a "prank", he's a harmless guy. His "Destroyer" job was less actual destroying and more like putting broken, unusable, and dead worlds to their ends so they're not affecting the balance. He's very proud of his work, and very careful in it, up until his retirement.

Pupp is not allowed in the kitchen, as bad memory+cooking isn't a good mix. Thei has him banned to the Pupp Stool until they're done cooking because if not, he will spend the entire time wrapped around them from behind. As much as they don't mind it, they do need use of their extremities.

Pupp is a lover of crochet, as well as Drama shows, language be damned. He has an innate ability to understand languages almost perfectly, though speaking them, not so much.

I look at him and just say "gooberman, my goobies, goobs, goober," often :)

Thei:

Thei, Thei is a guy I have hugged tight to my chest right now. They deserve so much.

TW: talk of SA, Abuse, and Mental Health Issues

Thei is a Lust Sans, and is from an AU where Lust Monsters need Intimacy to survive. Think of OG Lust on steroids. Without regular intimacy, Thei's magic will become so weak that they can't survive. Signs that they need intimacy start with irritability, tiredness, magic not working as they wish, and eventually gets to a point where they aren't in their right mind and will only act to survive.

Thei's AU is destroyed early on in the multiverse's existence and they take a spot on the Star Sanses, mainly as the voice for them; theyre very good at communicating with people because their magic relies so much on it, so they act sort of like the PR, making sure people know the Star Sanses are here to help and how to get that help. The Stars don't really have an enemy here, so theyre mainly a patrol group, who's main goal is making sure everyone has what they need as well as checking on AUs that may Fall or need to be Destroyed.

Thei's reliance on others in personal, intimate ways very obviously gives way to abuse of that reliance. To make matters worse, Thei's magic will respond to the person they're with before they do: they have the ability to change their appearance on will, but it will also activate when the person they're with desires it a lot, even if they don't, because their magic sees it as necessary to survive. This started because of how much they "starved" before, how many times they almost died.

Because of their need for intimacy, they have to go AU hopping for days up to months at a time to get what they need, so to say. Again, they hate this. They're an introverted person, despite their communicative abilities, and they like their alone time. This gets even harder when Thei becomes an integral part of Puppette's life and they move in together. Puppette's memory issues prove a problem because there will be times when Thei is gone long enough for Pupp's memory to fade, no matter what they've tried. When Thei comes back, he won't remember them, but will know the feelings associated with the memories. That love is still there. Thei is patient enough to stay on Pupp's track, even when that track jumps around a lot, and part for that is the guilt they feel at leaving him so regularly bc of their magic.

They've "started" dating many, many times, and been engaged many, many times, because Pupp won't remember it. As one can imagine, this is hard on Thei, but Thei adores Pupp and can't see life without him.

Thei works with Stretch (who works in the Omega Timeline Lab) and Swap (who's a well oiled engineer, despite not working as one) to try and figure out cures for both Pupp's memory and Thei's "curse", as they call it. But there really is no cures.

When Thei gets too low, they'll go to, or Pupp will get them to, Dream and Swap, who together can help boost Thei's magic, but it's not a long-lasting solution.

What they eventually make, after a very, very close call when Pupp is struggling to remember them and almost doesn't get them to Swap and Dream in time, Is devices inspired by the continuous glucose monitoring and insulin pumps used by diabetics. One tracks their magic levels, and the other is a pump that will inject them with magic when needed. This way they don't have to rely on people, and they can stay with Puppette, which helps with his memory. This entire endeavour is a fairly new scenario I'm still playing out, but as I'm sure is obvious, having this sudden freedom and ability to stay by their love's side is very daunting. They're learning to be free now.

About Thei:

Thei is softspoken and quiet, but the type to get loud around friends.

Thei is a painter, and teaches Ink about art as he grows. Thei loves scenes, and Ink makes them a Scenery Art Book for their birthday one year and they fall to the ground.

Thei's life between "AU Collapse" and "Thei with the Star Sanses" is very vague and unfocused, aside from a clear understanding that it wasn't good. I know that Thei was rescued at one point but Nightmare and his crew, and Thei lived with them for a while, considering them like family, but eventually had to leave. Another "perk" of their magic is that they have a connection to people's emotions, kind of like Dream and Nightmare. They can feel that someone is upset, but not how or why, basically. They can also push their emotions onto others when their magic is strong. This was an ability gained as a defense mechanism after being taken advantage of. Knowing someone's emotions and being able to affect them when in serious intimate situations is very helpful.

I'm gonna stop typing because this has gotten Long™ but while this is mostly for myself, I hope there's someone out here who enjoys my little Goobs. I love them dearly.

#undertale #undertale art #undertale au #lust sans #error sans #Thei #Puppette #errorlust #errortale #ink sans #dreamtale #dream sans #nightmare sans #xtale sans #cross sans #xgaster #Dee's Multiverse #ftfo #for the forgotten ones